One Day at a Time
by mushupork
Summary: It wasn't something they expected, but she was the gift they never knew they needed. (Or, a peek into what Erin and Jay building a family would look like). Trigger warning for difficult content.
1. Chapter 1

**Apologies to all, I accidentally deleted this. First-timer probs. Enjoy**

 **Trigger Warning for mentions of child abuse.**

"Well, it looks like we're all done here, so if you finish all your paperwork, you can head home early tonight." Sergeant Hank Voight double tapped the whiteboard that contained the connected perpetrators to a string of recent drug-related homicides that the Intelligence Unit was able to close. They had spent the day working a case that involved a series of barely-legal prostitutes who were brutally murdered and dumped in multiple underpasses across Chicago. It has been a grueling week with late nights and frigid temperatures taking a toll on the entire unit. Voight had been edge and Erin had been distant to Jay, eerily reminded of Nadia as she worked through the case files.

"Hell yes." Adam Ruzek fist-pumped and leaned back into his chair, "What do you say, Kev, head down to Molly's for a drink?"

The young officer rolled his eyes at Ruzek's enthusiasm. "Nah bro, I'm going home to help my sister finish her homework." Kevin Atwater rose and pushed his chair in, earning a groan from Ruzek.

"Come on. Halstead? Lindsay? Care to join me for a drink?" He looked excitedly at the duo, Lindsay who was finishing up a report and Halstead who was leaning back in his chair, playing with a rubber band.

"I don't know man." Detective Jay Halstead glanced across the bullpen and made eye contact with his partner. She raised her eyebrows and shrugged, the sad glint in her eye catching her boyfriend's attention. "It's raining. I think I'd rather head home and sleep."

"You guys are no fun." Ruzek pouted, dragging his hands across his face. "I'll just finish this paperwork and get out of here."

Detective Erin Lindsay switched off her computer and gathered her belongings. "Bye Hank." She called into her sergeant's office, draping her trench coat over one arm.

"See you tomorrow kid." Voight replied gruffly and nodded at Jay, who was following his pseudo-daughter out. "Halstead."

"Sarge." Jay replied, hastily following his girl down the steps and into the front desk area of Chicago's 21st District.

The car ride home was silent. Lindsay stared out of the passenger seat window, watching all of Chicago whiz by as Halstead cut through the wet and empty streets. The houses were almost all illuminated, full of people laughing, drinking and having a great time. "You alright Erin?" he asked, concerned that she hadn't spoken since the end of their shift, and that had only been to bid goodbye to Hank. He didn't question it when she pressed the car keys to his chest and headed downstairs, quickly waving to the desk sergeant, Trudy Platt.

Erin nodded absently at Jay's question, caught up in her own thoughts as Jay pulled into the parking garage within their apartment complex. Silently, Erin opened the door and made her way to the elevator. He hurried after her, making sure to lock the car behind them.

The apartment was dark and empty. Erin stood in the doorway as Jay flicked the lights on, instantly bathing the room in a soft light. She dropped her keys on the counter and kicked off her boots before shedding her coat. "I'm going to take a shower." She called behind her as Jay lined up her boots and placed his keys next to hers.

"Are you hungry for a turkey sandwich perhaps?" Jay asked from the kitchen, examining the contents of the refrigerator. "I think that's all the food we have. Or we could have something delivered? Maybe pizza or Chinese…We don't even have _beer._ "

"I'm not hungry." Erin called back, entering the living space with towel-dried hair, clad in one of Jay's long sleeve t shirts and a pair of worn sweatpants. She settled into the corner of the couch and pulled her knees into her chest, turning the TV on to ESPN to watch a recap of the most recent off season Cubs game.

He sighed, but decided not to push her. Instead, Jay made her favorite tea with a pinch of sugar, just the way she liked it. She smiled gratefully at him when he handed her the warm mug. "Thanks." she murmured. He settled in next to his girl, wrapping one arm around her bent leg and taking a sip of the tea he made for himself.

As the recap droned on, Jay pressed a kiss into the side of her head and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, leaning back against the plush couch cushions. After a beat, Erin visibly relaxed and the couple sat in comfortable silence while the announcers described how skillful the Cubs outfielder had to be in order to make that catch. At the commercial, Erin set her mug on the coffee table and snuggled against her boyfriend, resting her head underneath his chin with the side of her face pressed against his strong chest, listening to his heartbeat. Gently and slowly he stroked her soft brown waves and she closed her eyes.

Although not much time passed, it felt like they had been sitting there for hours. Jay carefully switched off the television and shifted, but Erin didn't move. She stayed cuddled against his chest, her fists enclosing the cotton of his shirt. Jay lifted her chin, and looked straight into her eyes. "I'm concerned." he said, softly rubbing her temple with his thumb.

"Don't be." she whispered, resting her head in the crook of his neck, feeling his arms wrapped around her, "I'm fine."

"I'm your boyfriend, it's my job to worry about you." Jay said seriously. "I know it's been a rough day."

"'S not your fault." Erin mumbled. "It's those scumbags. Thank god we got them off the street."

He hummed in agreement and ran his fingers through her hair, tucking a piece behind her ear. "It wasn't your fault." he whispered quietly, knowing that her mind had gone back to the loss of Nadia.

"I know." Erin shook her head, blinking back tears. "I just wish I could have saved her."

"You did everything you could." Jay reminded her. Finally, the tears that had built up behind her eyes since the morning spilled over her pale cheeks. Jay kissed her forehead as she shook against him. He took her silence that she accepted his words. He continued to brush away her tears until they ceased falling. His gentle ministrations seemed to work because it wasn't long before she was in a deep slumber. Jay didn't want to wake her, so he tenderly kissed her forehead and carried her to bed.

* * *

After a few weeks of Jay having officially moved into Erin's apartment, the pair had reached a comfortable routine. Most mornings involved Erin grumbling as she blindly snoozed her phone, burying her face back into the pillow and begging Jay for five more minutes. Some mornings he would get them both to the gym with the promise of bagels or muffins and others he would indulge her pleas by bringing a cup of coffee to bed, allowing her a few more precious minutes under the covers.

This particular morning, Jay had risen earlier than usual and was attempting to be quiet as he made the coffee. With all the stealth tactics that he had picked up in the military and as a detective, it was Erin's coffee maker that gave him away. The machine let out a shrill beep, causing him to jump and apparently waking Erin up from her slumber, because a thud followed by a "shit!" echoed from the bedroom.

"Sorry babe." Jay called out, pouring the scalding brown liquid into a mug and carrying it to the bedroom, careful not to let it slosh over the sides.

"Can't complain if that means the coffee's ready." Erin sat up in bed and accepted the mug. After blowing on it, she greedily drank the beverage. "God you make a good cup of coffee."

"What can I say, I am the perfect househusband." Jay joked, leaning over and planting a kiss on her lips.

"Care to shower before work?" Erin waggled her eyebrows suggestively at her partner.

* * *

"Hey Halstead!" Sergeant Trudy Platt's voice causing the two detectives to stop on their way upstairs. Jay leaned his head back, closed his eyes and hoped it was nothing serious.

"Yeah Sarge?" He asked, turning around to meet her pointed glare. She pointed to the woman who was seated on one of the benches. Sergeant Platt shrugged her shoulders as the stranger rose to meet Jay.

"You don't remember me, do you?" The woman looked at Jay and to Erin, both who appeared equally confused.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't." Jay gave the woman a once-over. She was clearly on something, if it was heroin or some other type of drug he wasn't sure, but her agitated state tipped off his detective instincts. "Can I help you?"

"My name is Jillian Bissett and my daughter is missing. Her name is Kate and she's four years old." Jillian thrust a file at Jay's chest with shaking hands.

"Jillian…you were in the military?" Jay wracked his brain to figure out how he knew this woman. "And I met you at a bar a few years ago. After I got off a patrol shift."

She nodded. "And I don't know if you remember that we spent the night together since you were a real mess. Full on wasted." Jillian let out a snort. "And now I'm the mess but I knew you were a cop and after they told me at another station that they couldn't help me I didn't know what to do so I looked you up…"

"How long has your daughter been missing?" Erin interrupted, taking the file from her somewhat-stunned boyfriend. She recognized the shakes and the rambling that often accompanied coming down off of narcotics, she was unfortunately well versed in that area. The fact that this woman had a child and was looking to her boyfriend for help sent Erin's detective instincts off the charts.

"I-I don't know. A while." Jillian wrung her hands, shifting from side to side on her worn out winter boots. "She's the kindest little girl. Never caused me any problems-"

"How long is a while?" Jay asked, cutting off Jillian and glancing down at the file to see a picture of a sweet toddler, who was maybe two or three years old.

"I-I-I know the picture's old, but I think something's happened to her, I can just feel it and-"

"Ma'am, how long has your daughter been missing?" Erin asked more forcefully, dread settling in her stomach. She knew that look as well. It was the same look Bunny wore whenever she was trying to downplay her failures. "Jillian, how long?"

"A-a year. Maybe a little longer." Jillian said quietly. Erin and Jay exchanged skeptical looks and the woman promptly burst into tears. "And I know I'm a t-terrible mother and I should have reported it sooner but all these things kept happening and now I'm trying to get her back and I'm afraid he's going to kill her and he said if I go to the police-"

"Wait, you know who has her?" Erin asked, looking at some of the other papers beneath the old photograph. "Have you been receiving ransom notes? Threats?" She held up a tattered piece of paper that appeared to be an advertisement for a strip club but had a message scrawled on the back.

Jillian nodded shakily. "I think she was with my ex, Tommy, but I got a note a few weeks ago saying that Tommy'd been shot an- and it happened a year ago and he was long dead but if I wanted to see my little girl I'd h-have to help move some dope and"

"Okay, okay, slow down." Jay looked down at the file and examined the note. "Do you know who's been sending you these notes?"

"I'm not really sure but maybe one of Tommy's old bosses, Paul Jackson or something like that but you gotta help me find her, they're doing bad things to her and they told me not to come to the police but I found out she was in Chicago and I just can't do it alone!" Jillian erupted in another round of sobs, covering her face with shaking hands.

"Jillian. Where is Paul Jackson now?" Jay asked, exchanging another look with his partner. The distraught woman shook her head, unable to get the words out. "Listen to me. I am going to help find your daughter. But in order to do that, I need to know everything."

She took a shaky deep breath and wrung her hands again. "The last time I picked up product, one of his guys mentioned a house on the South Side. But-but I don't know if that's where he's keeping her or what but I know they got huge guns and some real bad guys out there and oh! My little girl!" Jillian broke into sobs again.

"Jay." Erin said urgently as Jay was opening his mouth to ask Jillian another question regarding her daughter. Erin had been rifling through the file and pulled out an image that appeared to be a screengrab from a website.

"Kiddy torture porn?" Jay took one look at the image and focused his gaze back on Jillian. "Jillian. When did you get these images? Who gave them to you?"

"I-I gotta go. This was a mistake. They'll kill her if they find out I came to you." Jillian pushed past Jay and Erin, attempting to make an escape.

"No, Jillian, wait!" Erin shouted as Jay reached for the woman's arm.

"Get off!" Jillian screamed, ripping her arm back and fleeing the district, leaving the detectives holding the file.

"We gotta tell Hank," Erin murmured, "This poor kid is being abused and the mother…" She trailed off, looking up into Jay's eyes.

"Is a mess." He finished, "Let's get the bastards that are doing this."

* * *

The Intelligence Unit delved into the file that Jillian had thrown at them and uncovered the fact that she has been dishonorably discharged from the military and had spent a year in prison for selling oxy to high school kids in Kenwood. That had been two years ago and her 22 month old was left with her ex-husband, Tommy Bissett. Bissett had a rap sheet that included a year at Statesville, five years in juvenile detention and multiple domestic violence reports. He was fatally shot one month before Jillian was released. Kate, who was three years old when Tommy died, was never reported missing.

"Where we at on this Jackson guy?" Hank asked, running a hand over his face. The team had been searching for a link to his whereabouts for four hours, hoping that locating Bissett's former boss would lead them to the child. "Or the mother?"

"There's no record of Paul Jackson being in Chicago in the last year." Erin said.

"Jillian's parole officer hasn't seen her in weeks." Atwater reported as he tromped up the steps, slinging his coat over his chair.

"And she ditched the car that she drove to the district outside a church in Wicker Park," Ruzek said, "I'm still waiting on access to her cell phone but-"

Voight slammed his hand against the board that contained the picture of the missing child. "Does anyone have anything?" he exclaimed, "This poor kid is abused and alone, and it's our job to find her."

The bullpen went quiet for a moment before Halstead's phone rang. "Halstead." He said briskly. "Thanks." Jay stood and grabbed his coat. "Paul Jackson's mother paid for a house in Humbolt Park, three blocks from where Jillian ditched her car."

"Gear up." Hank commanded. "I'll get us the warrant."

* * *

"It looks like someone beat us to it." Ruzek commented as they came to a stop around the corner from the house. Another squad car was already parked and two patrolmen were getting out directly in front of Jackson's house.

"Apparently shots were heard coming from this house," Lindsay informed them, having spoken to the patrolmen, "We gotta get in there, now."

"Chicago PD!" Atwater yelled, busting open the front door to the house. Halstead entered first, bearing the Colt M4 carbine with Lindsay on his heels, pistol drawn.

"Body!" Halstead shouted, catching sight of Jillian's figure slumped against the refrigerator, blood dripping from the bullet she took to the forehead.

"House is clear boss, it doesn't look like anyone's here." Ruzek said, glancing around at the barren house. Erin dropped her hands, taking in the decrepit appearance of the living room and kitchen.

"You good man?" Atwater asked Jay, "I know you knew the deceased."

"Barely," Jay shrugged, taking hold of his walkie. "50-21 George, we have a DOA on scene, offenders are in the wind."

"Lindsay!" Hank called from the other end of the house. She quickly made her down a short hallway, Halstead two steps behind.

"What is it?" She asked, taking note of how her father figure's normally stoic demeanor was clearly disturbed. He was standing in a doorway that he had busted down and stepped aside to reveal a small bedroom that was undoubtedly for a child. There was a twin sized bed with a worn pink quilt over a yellowing mattress and a small closet that housed a few articles of clothing to be worn by a little girl. A pair of tiny pink shoes sat next to the doorway that were tattered and a blue lamp with no shade rested on the floor.

"She's alive. In the closet. Absolutely terrified." Hank said solemnly, gesturing to the closet door. "I thought a woman would be better suited for the job."

Erin nodded and handed Voight her service weapon before carefully approaching the closet. "Kate? My name is Erin and I'm with the police. Nobody is going to hurt you anymore, okay?"

She crouched next to the closet and peered inside. Erin drew a sharp intake of breath as she regarded the little girl in front of her. The child was pressed into the corner of the closet with her knees drawn up to her chest, cowering in fear. It was dim but Erin could see that she was wearing a mismatched pajama set, but what broke her heart the most was the blood that stained them. "Are you Kate?" Erin asked softly, blinking back tears.

The little girl did not reply but watched Erin with wide eyes that were wet with tears. "Sweetheart, do you think you could come out of the closet for me? I promise that I'm not going to hurt you and everyone here just wants to help." Erin held out her hand to the little girl. "I'm here to keep you safe, I promise."

She let out a squeak as Erin shifted closer and Erin drew back her hand quickly, raising them in front of her. "I'm sorry, I know a lot of people have been really rough with you but it's going to be okay. I'm a detective and it's my job to make sure nobody ever hurts you again."

After a moment, the little girl inched away from the wall and towards Erin. "You're safe now." Erin reassured her, tentatively placing her hand out, "I'm not going to let them touch you ever again."

Erin glanced over at Hank and Jay who were standing in the doorway watching the scene unfold. "So my name is Erin, can you tell me yours?" She offered a smile to the child who uncertainly looked at Erin's outstretched arm.

"Kate." She whispered, so quietly that Erin almost didn't hear her.

"Kate is a pretty name." Erin gave another smile. "And how old are you?" The little girl shyly held up four fingers. "Wow, so grown up!"

"You're not going to hurt me?" Kate asked softly, wiping her eyes and looking up at Erin with red-rimmed hazel orbs.

"Nobody is ever going to hurt you again." Erin said strongly. In an instant, Kate was in her arms and buried her face in her neck. "Oh! I got you baby, don't you worry."

"Er." Jay said, keeping his distance by remaining in the doorway. "We gotta get her out of here."

Erin nodded in response. "Kate, this is my partner Jay and he is a really nice guy-"

Kate leaned away abruptly. "I-I thought you said nobody was going to hurt me." She said, her voice quivering. Tears began running down her cheeks.

"Oh no, sweetheart, Jay would never hurt you." Erin ran her fingers through Kate's snarled brown locks. "He's my partner and he's going to drive us to the hospital okay?"

"We're gonna leave?" Kate looked up at Erin. "Do I have to come back?" Erin shook her head and Kate wrapped her arms tighter around the detective. "I don't ever want to."

"You'll never have to come back here, I promise you that." Erin stroked the little girl's back. "Can I carry you to the car?" Kate nodded against Erin's chest. Erin could feel her little heart pounding wildly against her chest. She carefully stood and held the child closer in an attempt to bring some sort of comfort.

"Kate, this is Jay." Erin turned so that Kate could see her partner. "And he is so nice and funny and he's going to drive us to the hospital." She looked down at the little girl, who's grip had gone slack. "Kate?"

"Erin, she's bleeding." Jay said, catching sight of the blood that now covered Erin's jacket. "I think she passed out, we gotta get her to Med, ambo's outside."


	2. Chapter 2

**Trigger Warning for mentions of child abuse**

Jay handed Erin a coffee cup in a waiting room in Chicago Med. "Thanks." She murmured, taking a grateful sip of the hospital coffee. The little girl had been rushed into surgery shortly after arriving to the hospital. They had been waiting about four hours for an update on Kate, but Dr. Halstead assured his brother that the procedure was relatively straightforward and only required a few sutures to fix the vaginal and anal tearing the child had suffered. She was now subject to a variety of tests, x-rays and scans to locate any other traumas that may have been inflicted upon her.

"Poor kid." Halstead muttered, settling into a chair beside his partner. "The amount of abuse she endured…"

Erin shook her head. "It breaks my heart." She said honestly. "And the fact that those bastards are in the wind-"

"We'll get them." Jay reassured her, rubbing his girl's shoulder gently. "And-"

"Detectives." Dr. Connor Rhodes emerged from the double doors, accompanied by Dr. Natalie Manning. Jay and Erin rose from their seats and looked expectantly at the doctors.

"She's been through hell, but she's a fighter." Dr. Manning confirmed, offering a small smile. "She's going to be okay."

The detectives let out a collective breath. "Kate sustained repeated anal and vaginal trauma in addition to a few improperly healed broken ribs." Dr. Rhodes informed them. "She also has considerable bruising and is definitely underdeveloped, likely a result of the repeated abuse."

Erin nodded, Rhodes' statement confirming what she already assumed. "Can we see her?"

"A sedative had to be administered because she was in distress after waking up." Dr. Manning said, "We don't know the extent of her mental state but the trauma suggests that her agitation is a direct result of the prolonged abuse."

"But, like we said, she's a fighter." Rhodes stressed, "The fact that she survived the abuse indicates that she'll survive the recovery." Erin and Jay nodded at his statement. "Nat, do you want to show them to her room?"

"Come with me." Natalie headed down the hallway, indicating for Jay and Erin to follow suit.

"Thanks for your help man." Jay said to Rhodes before following Erin and Natalie to where Kate was recovering.

"I hope you get the guys who did this." Rhodes replied.

* * *

"Why is my patient in restraints?" Natalie hissed at the nurse who was exiting Kate's room. "She's a rape victim."

The nurse's eyes went wide. "I-I'm sorry Doctor, I didn't know. She hid in the corner and when Bill tried to bring her back to bed she wouldn't stop thrashing. She almost bit him."

"She's terrified of men." Erin informed the nurse, glancing into the hospital room. Kate was lying listlessly on the bed with her arms and legs clamped down, occasionally pulling at the restraints but ultimately giving up the struggle.

"I'll undo the restraints, right away." The nurse said, turning to enter the room.

"Don't. You've done enough." Dr. Manning said. "I'll do it." She cautiously walked into the room. "Hi Kate, my name is Doctor Manning and I'm here to help you, okay?"

Kate let out a squeak and tugged desperately at the restraints, screwing her eyes shut. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she emitted another whimper when the woman approached her bedside. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm going to undo these but you have to promise to be still, okay?" Dr. Manning carefully undid the restraints to Kate's ankles. The child didn't move, paralyzed in fear. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm so sorry someone did this, but it won't happen again."

The little girl sniveled softly. "This is my friend Erin." Natalie said soothingly, undoing one of the arm restraints. "She's a detective with the police and she's here to help you."

Kate's eyes snapped open as the last restraint was undone. She scrambled back in the bed, pressing her body against the headboard, cowering in fear. "Hi Kate, do you remember me?" Erin walked closer to the bed, giving the little girl a smile. She sniffed and nodded as Erin took another step closer to the bed, regarding Erin with wet, swollen eyes. "Doctor Manning got you all fixed up."

Jay stood in the doorway, like he had been at the house earlier that day. He watched as Erin extended her hand to the quivering child and how the little girl instantly launched herself into Erin's lap, immediately bursting into tears. "Oh, sweetheart." Erin cooed, gently running her hand up and down Kate's shaking form. "It's okay. It's all going to be okay."

"I didn't mean to be bad," Kate choked out as Erin wiped tears from her cheeks, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shh baby, you have nothing to be sorry for." Erin swallowed the lump in her throat. Kate shivered, pressing her body closer to Erin's, hungry for comfort that had been denied to her for so long. "Maybe we could get you another blanket?" She turned to Dr. Manning, who was standing beside Jay. She nodded and turned to find a nurse.

Erin continued to hold the little girl and motioned for Jay to come closer. "Kate, do you remember that I told you about my friend Jay?" Kate sniffed and nodded, and Erin felt her heart rate accelerate as she held her against her chest. "Well, he and I are going to make sure that the men who did this to you can never touch you again, but that means we have to ask you a few questions. Are you okay with that?"

Kate nodded slowly, raising her head to look over at Jay. "Hi Kate, I'm Jay," He said gently. "I'm here to keep you safe, okay?" She nodded again, heart hammering in her chest.

"You don't need to be afraid of Jay," Erin reassured her, "He's my partner and he just wants to make sure you're safe." Kate nodded again, seeming to relax a bit in Erin's arms. Dr. Manning passed Jay a warm blanket and retreated from the room.

"Is it okay if I put this blanket over you?" Jay asked, taking another cautious step toward the bed where Erin was perched. The little girl didn't protest as Jay carefully placed the blanket over her hospital gown clad body. She relaxed again, settling into Erin's arms.

"Do you know where you are?" Jay asked, taking a seat on the swivel doctor's stool at the foot of the bed, keeping distance between the petrified child and himself. Kate stared at him with red-rimmed hazel eyes, unsure if she was allowed to speak.

"The h-hospital." She whispered finally, looking directly at Jay.

"That's right. And do you know where you were before this?" He asked tentatively, observing how Erin was gently threading her fingers through Kate's tangled hair.

"I was hiding because Uncle Bobby was mad," Kate looked up at Erin and then to Jay again. "But when you found me he was gone."

"Was Uncle Bobby the only person in the house with you?" Jay scrawled down a few things on his notepad to send to the team afterwards.

Kate shook her head. "No, Mr. P and some of his friends were there too. And there was a lot of yelling. And I heard screaming." Her voice got even lower. "And when Uncle Bobby made me come out of the room there was a lady and Mr. P hit me and then he _killed_ her _._ " She shuddered, "Big Joe was supposed to put me in the car but I hid and then the tall man found me."

"And then what happened?" Jay found Erin's eyes that were wet with unshed tears.

"He said I was safe and then I met you." Kate looked up at Erin and then to Jay. "Are you guys gonna get Mr. P?"

Jay nodded. "We're gonna get him," He said confidently, "You're safe now. Nobody's going to hit you ever again, okay?"

Kate rubbed her eyes and let out a small yawn, unable to believe Jay's promise. She had been told before that nobody was going to hit her, but that hadn't been true. Erin cleared her throat and looked down at the tired little girl in her lap. "How about we tuck you into bed so you can get some rest? It's very late."

"O-okay." Kate stammered, shifting out of Erin's lap and back into the corner of the bed. "But the bad men can't get me, right?"

"That's right." Erin pulled the covers back and helped her underneath, stroking her hair back. "And I'm going to be right over here." She motioned to the visitor's chair that was closer to the window. "I'm just going to talk to the doctor and Jay outside for a bit, but I'll be right back, sound good?" Kate nodded and watched as the detectives quietly left the room to speak.

Erin let out a deep breath as they exited. Jay brought her in for a hug, soaking in the scent of her coconut shampoo and memorizing the warmth of her body entangling with his. "You were amazing in there, babe." He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. Usually Jay and Erin left their relationship and PDA for when they were outside of work, but with the toll that the day had taken on both of them, Jay knew that it was needed.

"Every time I think _I_ had it rough growing up, we get one of these cases that make growing up on the street look like a walk in the park." Erin scoffed, leaning away from her partner. "She's got no family, nobody."

"We'll find a relative or someone," Jay promised, "And in the meantime, if you want to go home and grab a shower, I can stay here."

Erin shook her head. "Is that your way of telling me I smell, Halstead?" She joked, giving him a slight nudge. "But I promised her I'd sit next to her, and with everything that she's been through, I don't really want to be another broken promise or make her feel unsafe."

Jay nodded in understanding. "Well she's supposed to be in protective custody, and I think we can take the first shift, how about that?"

She smiled, leaning back into her boyfriend's embrace. "I love you, you know that?" Jay's continuous understanding and support of what could sometimes be "over-empathic" never ceased to amaze her.

He leaned down and planted a kiss on her lips. "Mm-hm, I do. And I love you too." He glanced through the window in the door back at Kate. "I'll give Voight a call with an update, see where they're at on finding those guys and if there's any relatives in the area, maybe grandparents or something. DCFS will be here in the morning. You wanna head back in?" She nodded and gave his arm a squeeze before creeping back into Kate's darkened hospital room.

At the sound of the door closing, Kate bolted upright in bed and scrambled backwards like she had done earlier. "Hey, hey, it's just me, Erin." Erin called out softly, raising her hands in front of her, "It's okay Kate."

After a moment, realizing where she was and that she was safe, the child let out a breath and scooted back to the center of the bed, allowing Erin to adjust the covers around her. "You and Jay are gonna keep me safe?" Kate asked faintly as Erin tucked some of her tangled brown hair behind her ears, "And get the bad men?"

"That's right." Erin replied, "Jay and I are going to be here all night with you and our friends are working real hard to get those bad guys."

Jay quietly reentered the room and Kate's eyes snapped open. "It's just Jay." Erin murmured, attempting to coax the little girl into sleep by continually running her fingers through her hair. "He's going to stay here with me, help keep you safe."

"Okay," Kate said sleepily, "And they won't get in here and hurt me?"

Erin felt her heart shatter for another time that day. "No, baby, they won't even get in the building. Don't you worry, just close your eyes. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Thank you." Kate breathed, closing her eyes and slowly succumbing to sleep.

* * *

Erin stirred awake, her body pressed against Jay's. He was asleep, his head resting against the worn fabric on the back of the chair. She was sitting horizontally, legs draped over Jay's lap and over the armrest, body cuddled into Jay's chest. His arm wound around her back, the other resting lightly on her thighs. Despite being in an old hospital chair, Erin was quite comfortable and didn't know what had woken her up until she heard a whimper coming from the quivering form in the corner of the room. "Kate?" Erin called out, carefully untangling herself from the cozy embrace of her partner. "Where are you sweetheart?"

A muffled whimper came again and Erin slowly approached the shaking child who had wedged herself into the corner of the room, in between the wall and a small table. Kate's knees were drawn to her chest like they had been when she was hiding in the closet, her posture radiating fear. "It's okay, baby, it's me, Erin," Erin whispered, taking a tentative step toward the little girl. Another sniff followed by a squeak left Kate's lips. She looked up at Erin, tears glistening on her cheeks.

Erin sank down in front of her as Kate buried her face in her knees, pressing her body further into the corner and using the small table that was next to the bed as a barrier. "Do you know where you are?" Erin asked her, gently placing her hand on Kate's knee and rubbing it softly.

She shook her head and let out a choked sob. "We're in the hospital. You're safe." Erin switched the lamp that was on the table. "You're okay. Take a deep breath."

Kate lifted her head off her knees, catching Erin's eyes. Erin reached out and brushed the tears off her cheeks. "I'm here, baby. You just had a bad dream." Kate shifted closer to Erin, letting out another whimper. "Come here, sweetheart." Erin took Kate in her arms, allowing the petrified child to lean into her and bury her face in her neck. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Erin attempted, tucking the soft brown hair behind her ear.

Again, Kate shook her head. After a few moments, she stopped crying and she began to take shuddery breaths. "There you go." Erin continued to rub her back, making a circular motion with gentle hands. "Everything's fine."

"Er?" Jay whispered sleepily, glancing around the hospital room that was bathed in a soft light from the lamp. "Everything okay?"

"Bad dream." Erin murmured, continuing to rub Kate's back. "We got you baby." Erin pressed a soft kiss upon Kate's forehead. "How about we get you back into bed?"

Kate tightened her grip on Erin's shirt, more tears leaking into the crook of her neck. "Will you sit with me?" She choked out, her face still buried in Erin's neck.

"Of course." Erin looked up at Jay, who had moved from the chair to squatting on the floor a few feet away from Kate and Erin. "Is it okay if Jay puts you into bed so I can stand up?"

Kate leaned back and glanced at Jay, then back to Erin. After carefully considering it, she nodded. "He's very gentle." Erin told her, motioning for Jay to come pick up the child.

"Hi there Squirt." Jay whispered, taking the little girl into his embrace, "We got you." Kate wrapped her thin arms around Jay's neck as he held her close. Erin stood, marveling at the little girl's acceptance of Jay. He carefully set her down on the bed before moving the chair closer. He settled into the chair and watched as Erin tucked Kate into bed again.

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" She asked, gently rubbing her back. The child shook her head.

"I can't." she muttered, "I'm scared." Erin looked over at Jay, eyes wet with tears.

"It's okay. We're right here. Nothing's going to happen." Jay told her, taking Erin's hand. "Erin and I are going to sit right here." Erin sat down on the chair, squeezing in next to Jay and extending her arm so that she was holding Kate's hand. Jay ran his fingers through Erin's hair and watched as she slowly fell asleep, hand in hand with the little girl.

* * *

Later that morning, Kate met with a DCFS caseworker and one of the psychiatrists at the hospital. In the meantime, Jay and Erin returned to their apartment for a change of clothes and headed back to the district to touch base with Hank. Unfortunately, there had been no new developments in locating the men who had taken Kate, but chatter between people on the websites where the screengrabs were from indicated that they were searching to get her back.

"So it doesn't look like she has any living relatives," the DCFS director, Susan Perkins, reported to Intelligence. "The caseworker that spoke to her said that she never met anyone from her family, doesn't remember her mother or father for that matter. We've got a DNA test in the works and are trying to get her birth certificate sent over from New York, as that appears to be where she was born." She paused and looked at the group. "Any other information turn up?"

"Jay, you knew the woman." Hank said, leaning against Lindsay's desk.

"I mean, barely." Jay replied, "It was a one night stand, years ago and I hardly remember it." He glanced at Erin and back to Hank, "It was a rough time in my life. I was a mess after I got back, had just graduated the academy, didn't know which way was up."

"Got it." Susan said, looking up from her blackberry. "Detectives Halstead and Lindsay, it appears that the two of you have earned her trust?"

They nodded. "Well, if you don't mind coming down to the hospital with me, I just got word that the poor thing is in distress. Looks like the meeting with the psychiatrist didn't go well."

"Go." Hank instructed after they looked at him for approval. "But keep the patrol unit there. She's in protective custody and judging by the intercepted communications we shouldn't be careless."

* * *

"Dr. Manning." Susan called as she entered the hospital wing where Kate was staying, "What's going on?"

Natalie looked up from the chart she was examining. "Jay, Erin." She nodded at them, "The psychiatrist suggested cleaning her up to make her feel a bit more in control. One of the nurses convinced her to take a bath and was trying to wash her hair. She got shampoo in her eyes and panicked. Everything just fell apart. She was screaming in the tub for a half hour before we had to administer a sedative. Don't worry, I didn't let anyone tie her down, but she responded so well to the two of you I thought it would be best to call you."

Erin sighed. "Alright. What did the therapist say?"

"She's apparently brilliant." Natalie informed them, "Even though she's around four years old, it looks like she can even read a little, write and even do some simple math. Kate also doesn't wear diapers or anything and is quite independent, likely a result of being alone a lot."

"Does she know what happened to her?" Jay asked, glancing into the hospital room where Kate was sedated.

Dr. Manning nodded sadly, "Dr. Handel did say that Kate recognized the fact that she lived through a very traumatic experience and will likely suffer from PTSD and anxiety. She repeatedly mentioned throughout the session that she was afraid they were going to come back to get her. Dr. Handel also believes that Kate didn't interact with many women and that her only experience with men was negative, so her reactions are not out of character with what she went through."

"I've got a family lined up to take her this evening, two kids, ages six and nine. They're great." Susan Perkins caught sight of Dr. Manning's expression. "What?"

"It's just that I don't think she's interacted with kids her own age before, let alone lived with them." Dr. Manning said, "From what I've seen, it doesn't look like she's ever been to daycare or preschool. Dr. Handel thinks she may have taught herself."

Susan sighed and glanced down at her blackberry. "Alright. I'll see what I can do. Why don't you two," she indicated to Erin and Jay, "see if you can talk to her again. I need to make a call."

Erin nodded and handed Jay a shopping bag that contained some clothes, shoes and a stuffed tiger. "I think I should go in first. Test the water."

"Good plan," Jay agreed, "I'll call Voight, see if he needs us to come back to the district or if we can stay for a bit."

Erin quietly opened the door and entered the hospital room that was bathed in the warm afternoon light. "Erin?" Kate asked groggily, rubbing her eyes and propping herself up on her elbows.

"Hi baby." Erin approached the bed and perched carefully on the side, stroking Kate's pink cheek. "How are you?"

The little girl shrugged, and turned to the side, reaching out to touch Erin's leg. "I was bad again, so they made me go to sleep."

"Oh, no, sweetheart, you weren't bad." Erin assured her, "The doctors just didn't want you to hurt yourself."

"No, I was," Kate insisted, tears welling up in her eyes, "Being scared is being _bad._ " She looked over as the door opened and Jay entered, the tears spilling over. "And when I'm bad, I get hurt."

"It's okay to be scared, I promise. I get scared a lot too." Erin told her, "Sometimes I get scared and Jay gives me a hug and says it's going to be okay. And he's always right."

"That's right, Squirt." Jay piped up, now standing between the bed and the door, "And sometimes I get scared and have bad dreams, and Erin makes me feel better." He offered a smile.

"Really?" Kate sat up and looked at Jay skeptically.

"Oh yeah, being scared is nothing to be ashamed of." He reached into the bag and pulled out the stuffed tiger. "And if you do feel scared, you can always give this guy a hug." Jay held it out to the little girl, who's eyes went wide.

"It's for you, silly." Erin smiled, "There's this really nice lady named Sergeant Platt where we work who thought this tiger would be the perfect cuddle buddy." The little girl sat up and tentatively accepted the plush animal, bringing it to her chest.

"I love him." She whispered, tightening her grip on the stuffed toy. "Tigers are really brave."

"Mm-hm, squirt, just like you." Jay gave her a smile. "You're the bravest girl I know." She blushed and offered a small smile, the first that either Jay or Erin had seen.

A sharp knock on the door caused Kate to jump. Susan poked her head into the hospital room. "Detectives? Can I speak with you for a second?"

"We're going to be right outside, talking to Mrs. Perkins okay?" Erin stood, giving Kate's blanketed leg a pat. She nodded uncertainly. "We'll be right back okay? Why don't you think of something to name the tiger?"

Hank was standing next to Susan Perkins and accompanied by Dr. Manning. All three of them looked perplexed. "Hey," Erin greeted her sergeant, "Did you get a lead?"

Hanks shook his head. "Offenders are still nowhere to be found. No prints at the scene, all we have are some bogus shell corporations that the users behind the website comments are linked to. But we're working on it."

"What's going on?" Jay asked after Erin had closed the door behind him. "Is everything okay?"

"Well, we finally tracked down Kate's birth certificate. She just turned four two weeks ago." Susan Perkins said, actually putting her blackberry into her purse instead of clicking away. "And Detective Halstead, you knew her mother?"

"If you call a one night stand knowing someone." Jay replied, folding his arms across his chest. "And she remembered I was with CPD so when she was finally lucid enough to look for her daughter she came to me."

"You didn't know she listed you as the father on Kate's birth certificate?" Hank asked, handing Jay a piece of paper. It was a photocopy of a New York birth certificate for Katherine Jane Halstead, daughter of Jillian Turner and Jay Halstead.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, hello, I actually have a lot of this written since I took a fuckton of nyquil the other night and literally dreamed the majority of this story SO please enjoy. Apologies for mistakes and whatnot, I am only human. Peace.**

 **Trigger Warning for child abuse. Rated M as such but don't expect sexytime because I am hella-terrible at that.**

"You're kidding me, right?" Jay looked at Hank and Susan incredulously. "This is some kind of mean joke?"

"I'm afraid not." Susan responded, pulling out her blackberry after it buzzed again, "Apparently, this woman, Jillian Turner Bissett whatever her last name is, believed you to be the father of her child."

"Bu-but that's impossible," Jay sputtered, examining the document, "It was like five years ago. And we used protection!" He looked down at the birth certificate again. "At least, I think? God, I don't know, I was such a mess back then, but she never said anything! The only time I ever heard from her was yesterday when she showed up to the district strung out." He paused, looking from Susan to Hank to Natalie for some kind of explanation.

"She never reached out to you?" Hank asked, and Jay shook his head vigorously.

"No! What the-" Jay ran his hands over his face, "I have a kid?" He peered back through the small window in the door. "A kid who has been abused for the past however many years and I didn't know about it?" He began pacing back and forth, "Good god, the kid is absolutely petrified and probably scarred for life and I don't know anything about raising a kid let alone-"

"Jay," Erin interrupted him, "Hold on." She grabbed his forearm and pulled him closer, placing a hand on his chest. "What happened to Kate is not your fault. You had no idea she even existed."

"B-but…" Jay stammered and took another look at his daughter through the window, "She's mine?"

"We'll find out for sure in an hour or two with the DNA test. Since you're CPD you're in the system, so if it matches, we'll let you know." Dr. Manning spoke up.

"I-I just can't believe this." Jay ran his hand over his face again. "I gotta get some air." He headed down the hallway, nearly knocking over a nurse in his haste to get away.

* * *

"What am I gonna do, man?" Jay turned to his brother as he sat on a staircase in the back of the hospital. "I mean, I have a _kid_."

"You're talking to the wrong guy," Will Halstead mused, looking down at the copy of the birth certificate that DCFS obtained. "I mean, I can't tell you what to do. But I am confident that you and Erin will figure it out."

"Oh god. Erin." Jay brought his hands to his temples. "I didn't even _consider_ what this is doing to her. If she wants to stay. Oh god. I live with Erin. And I'm a police officer. How am I going to raise a traumatized little girl when work is so hectic-"

"Dude." Will patted his little brother on the back, "Erin is going to be fine. Knowing her, she's not going to cut and run out on you and a kid. Just talk to her. And talk to Voight. He can be reasonable." Jay looked at his brother incredulously. "Okay maybe he won't be reasonable, but it can't hurt to try. I mean the guy's a father. Trust me, Jay, you're probably the best guy I know. And I'll deny that tomorrow. But right now, you need to find out for sure if you're the dad. You can go from there."

Jay let out a sigh. "You're right. It's rare, but you're right." He stood and headed down the steps. "Thanks man."

"Hey, I'm an uncle now," Will called after him, "I'll come by later."

Jay emerged from the stairwell and saw Susan Perkins standing outside Kate's room, presumably waiting for him. "Hi, sorry." He said breathlessly, pausing outside the door. "So?"

"She's yours, Detective." Susan informed him, "I just found out myself. DNA hit came back for a Jillian Turner and Jay Halstead." She glanced up from the blackberry to see the wheels turning behind Jay's eyes. "Now, if you are unable to or don't want to take her I can figure something out, seeing as this whole thing was just sprung on you. But if you do, it is an extenuating circumstance so I will have to check out your home in a week or so and check back in periodically, but it will be much less formal than fostering a child. That being said, I am giving you an out here, I can find a good family to take her-"

"No. I want her." Jay assured the woman, "I just don't know if she'll want me. With all that she's been through…"

"Your partner tells me you've been great with her." Susan motioned to the small window in the door. Jay peered in to see that Erin was sitting on the hospital bed, reading a story to Kate. "And something tells me that between the two of you, that little girl is in very good hands."

Jay smiled gratefully. "I really should talk to her about it. And also the therapist? About what to tell Kate?"

"Dr. Handel will be up in a little bit to talk logistics with you. Detective Lindsay informed me that you two live together, and have a spare bedroom?"

Jay nodded. It was Nadia's old room. Erin never set foot in there, choosing to keep the door closed and avoid taking spare linens out of the closet at all costs. It would be a good room for Kate though, he thought. "Yeah, I need to get a car seat and some more clothes for her and stuff."

"You're also going to need to find a preschool and the sort out logistics regarding your job. I'm going to assume that you'll need to take a few days off to get her settled in." Susan remarked, adjusting a purse on her arm. "I'd recommend speaking to your boss and if you need my help, I'd be happy to offer it."

"I do need to discuss this with Voight." Jay mused, running over the growing list of things he had to do in his head.

"Good news is, he's here now." Susan gestured to the man making his way down the hallway.

"Hey kid." Hank called after he caught sight of Jay and Susan. "Nice to see you, Ms. Perkins." He was carrying a bright pink bag in one hand and shook Susan's with the other. "What's the verdict?"

"She's mine." Jay replied, earning a pat on the back from his sergeant.

"I'm glad that little girl is going to be with someone like you and Erin," Hank said gruffly.

"I haven't even gotten a chance to talk to Erin." Jay closed his eyes for a second. "I gotta make sure she's okay with all of this."

"Halstead, even if that kid wasn't yours, I'm pretty sure she'd be heading home with you anyway," Hank told him, nodding to the window. Kate was snuggled up to Erin on the bed, snoozing softly. Erin was running her fingers through Kate's hair, just watching the little girl sleep.

Jay smiled at the scene. He tapped on the glass, pulling Erin out of her reverie. She carefully got up so to not disturb Kate and quietly exited. "So?" She asked, looking at Jay expectantly, "She coming home with us?"

"Well, she's my daughter." Jay responded, "But all this was just sprung on you and I don't want to force you into anything so just say the word-" Erin cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips.

She leaned away, bringing a hand to his cheek. "I'm with you, Jay. For everything. And that includes a kid you didn't know you had. We can do this. One day at a time."

Jay grinned and kissed her again, not caring that his boss and her father figure was standing right in front of him. He was just lucky to have found someone like his girl. "What would I do without you?" He replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "You sure you're okay with this?"

Erin turned to face him. "That little girl has been through hell and there was no way I was sending her into the system. I probably would have taken her home with us even if you weren't her dad."

"Told you," Hank said, passing Erin the pink bag. "Now, I've got some more good news for you. We've got a lead on the offenders, it looks like they headed back to New York, so NYPD is on it."

"At least they're out of Chicago." Erin mused, glancing down at the contents of the bag, which was full of child-sized clothes and shoes. "Sergeant Platt really likes to shop."

"That's not all," Hank paused, "We found 200k worth of heroin in the basement of Jackson's house. Since she was technically a CI, 10 percent of that money belongs to Kate's mother. And because she's deceased, it goes to Kate." Hank passed Jay an envelope. "It should help with getting her set up with you guys."

"Sarge. Thank you so much." Jay shook his hand, overwhelmed by the generosity of the people surrounding him.

Hank offered a smile. "Now, I already put the car seat in the back of the Sierra and I picked up a few essentials. The two of you should take a few days off, get settled. I'll see you on Monday, sound good?"

"Thanks Hank." Erin hugged her parent goodbye before turning to Jay. "I think Dr. Handel is supposed to be coming in a bit to tell us about Kate."

"She's right here!" An energetic older woman ambled down the hallway toward the couple. "Susan, always a pleasure."

"Hello, Dr. Handel." Susan Perkins greeted, "This is Detectives Jay Halstead and Erin Lindsay. We found out that Jay is actually Kate's biological father, and he and Erin are planning on taking Kate to live with them."

"Well, congratulations!" Dr. Handel exclaimed. "Let's have a quick chat. That little girl is something else, gosh she is just so lucky to have been found."

"I'm going to take off. Good luck detectives, I'll be in touch." Jay and Erin bid Susan Perkins goodbye before focusing their attention on the exuberant doctor.

"Now, Kate has been through a lot of trauma in her short life. The best thing to do right now is just to be Jay and Erin. While she is extremely bright, I don't think she's going to grasp the fact that you're biologically related to her. It's a good idea to build a foundation of trust and I would be happy to help you find a time to eventually tell her, maybe in the next few months." Dr. Handel smiled kindly at Jay before turning to Erin. "And that little girl is very trusting of you, Detective Lindsay. Her experience with men has not been a good one, so you are going to be crucial in showing her that the men you introduce her to will be harmless. That includes helping her open up to Jay and any other males in your lives."

The detectives nodded, taking in Dr. Handel's every piece of advice. "From what she told me, Kate doesn't remember Jillian's ex, Tommy, being shot or any of the earliest years of her life, which is not uncommon for very young children. It looks like she remembers the past six months or so, as those are the only times she's talked about. If she mentions any memory or something along those lines when you ask about what she likes or is afraid of, be sure to gently push her a little further. It should help with learning more about her past."

"It may also help us catch the bastards that hurt her." Jay mused, tensing up.

Dr. Handel nodded kindly, "I recommend getting her started in some kind of daycare or preschool. It's important that she interact with other children. Maybe not right away, wait a few days, but as soon as you can establish a routine the better. And most importantly, listen to her. More often than not, she'll tell you what she needs, whether with words or actions." The woman handed both Jay and Erin a business card. "This is my card. Call me if you need anything. Maybe we could schedule an appointment for Saturday? You can bring Kate by my office."

"Thank you so much, Dr. Handel." Erin said, squeezing Jay's hand.

"Not to worry. And it looks like you can bring her home today," Dr. Handel stood, "If you like, I can be there when you tell her."

"That would be amazing," Jay answered quickly. "Er, do you want to wake her up? I don't want to scare her."

Erin nodded and entered Kate's hospital room. The little girl was dozing peacefully, enjoying a mid-afternoon nap and clutching the stuffed tiger. Erin turned on the bedside lamp and gently stroked Kate's forehead. "Kate? Wake up baby."

The child opened her eyes slowly. "Erin?" she mumbled, glancing around the room and catching sight of Dr. Handel and Jay in the doorway. "You're still here?" Kate scooted backwards to sit up and gave Erin a hug.

"I never left." Erin smiled at her, impressed that Kate's first reaction wasn't to cower in fear, but to embrace Erin. She taking a seat on the bed after pressing a kiss into the child's soft hair. "Is it okay if Jay comes and sits here with us?"

Kate nodded, looking up at the man she didn't know was her father. "Hey there, Squirt." Jay beamed, sitting on the other side of the mattress. She smiled softly at the nickname Jay had taken to calling her. God, Jay loved that smile. He couldn't believe that he hadn't known she was his daughter when they first met. Kate had his nose and chin, and her eyes, though they were hazel, shared the same kindness and resilience that Jay's did.

"So Kate, how would you feel about coming home with me and Jay?" Erin asked, carefully observing Kate's expression. The little girl's eyes widened and she glanced nervously at Jay and back to Erin.

"To your house?" Kate was confused, "I would come live with you?"

"Uh-huh. We have a room for you and everything." Erin explained. "How do you feel about that?"

"I-I would be safe there? Where the bad guys couldn't get in?" Kate shifted her gaze to Jay. "And they wouldn't touch me?"

"Erin and I are going to keep you safe and make sure that nobody hurts you ever again," Jay assured her, "And we're going to love you and take care of you."

"I would like that," Kate whispered, clambering out from under the covers and wrapping her arms around Erin's neck.

"I'm so glad, baby." Erin kissed Kate's silky brown locks. After a beat, Kate reached her hand out and held Jay's. Tears sprung to his eyes and he shifted on the mattress to wrap his arm around Erin, pulling his new family closer.

* * *

Kate was discharged later that afternoon. Erin helped her change into one of the new outfits Sergeant Platt had picked out, a blue sundress with new pink sneakers that fit perfectly. "Ready Squirt?" Jay asked, slinging the pink bag over one shoulder. "Babe?"

"We're ready," Erin smiled, holding one of Kate's little hands in hers. Kate clutched the plush tiger in her other hand and looked up at Jay uncertainly. "And maybe we could pick up some takeout on our way home, how does that sound?"

"That sounds good to me," Jay pulled open the hospital room door. "Let's go home, shall we?"

The new family headed out of the hospital and into the parking lot where the Sierra was parked. "Where do I go?" Kate whispered after Jay had slid the bag into the backseat.

"Sergeant Voight put a special seat in the back just for you," Erin assured her, hoisting the little girl into her arms in an attempt to boost her into the car seat.

Kate whimpered and gripped Erin's shirt tightly in her fists. "N-no thank you." She glanced at the contraption. It did not look like a good idea, full of different clips and restraints.

"Don't worry baby, it's perfectly safe," Erin tried to comfort her, "It's because you're little and the regular seats aren't small enough to keep you in snuggly."

"Maybe Erin could sit with you? Would that be okay?" Jay asked, looking for a way to diffuse the situation that he feared was rapidly escalating.

Kate regarded the car seat warily but nodded and allowed Erin to settle her into it. Jay let out a breath and Erin climbed into the back with Kate, buckling herself up. "Good to go babe," she declared, holding Kate's trembling hand in hers.

* * *

Erin exited the elevator on the third floor of the apartment building, Kate in her arms. The excitement of the day had taken a toll on the little girl and she was fading fast. Jay followed, juggling the bag of takeout and pink bag of clothes. "This is where we live." Erin told Kate, fishing her key out of her coat pocket and opening the door to apartment 310.

"You and Jay live here?" Kate looked surprised, lifting her head off of Erin's shoulder to observe her new surroundings.

"Yep. And now you do, too." Erin walked in, flicking the lights on and tossing her keys on the counter. "This is the living room and kitchen." Jay set the bags down on the kitchen counter and headed to the spare bedroom.

"And this is going to be your room." Jay opened the door. The room was plain with a full sized bed in the middle and a night table beside the bed. "And tomorrow maybe we can go find some things to decorate it."

"Really?" The little girl glanced around, taking in every aspect of the apartment. "Is-is there a bathroom?" She asked nervously, squirming slightly in Erin's arms.

"Right here." Erin pulled open the bathroom door. She set her down. "Do you need help?"

Kate shook her head. "Okay, Erin and I are going to get dinner ready, and we'll be right outside the door," Jay told her, motioning to the kitchen. She nodded, watching the detectives retreat to the other room.

Erin let out a breath. "So far, so good." She said as Jay pulled out containers from the takeout bag. "Do you think she likes Chinese?"

Jay shrugged. "Absolutely no idea. Every time I look at her I just want to feed her." He lowered his voice. "And I just get angry that those bastards were barely giving her enough to grow. She's so thin." Jay gripped the takeout bag tightly.

"Babe." Erin gently unclenched his fists. "I know. But remember what Nat said before we left the hospital. While she might be afraid to ask for food, if we keep putting it in front of her she may eat just to please us and might get sick from eating too much, so we have to let her be comfortable enough to ask, okay?"

He nodded and took a breath. "I know. I gotta remember that she's with us now and that in time, she's going to be okay." He grabbed some plates and silverware from the cabinets. "On the list for tomorrow, plastic stuff."

"Mm-hm." Erin agreed, taking two bottles of beer out of the fridge. She paused. "What about drinking in front of her? Do we think that's okay?"

He chuckled. "I think it's fine." She popped the caps off the bottles and handed him a cold one, taking a long slow sip. Jay leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I'm glad you're here with me."

She smiled, "We're partners Jay. You know I'm always here for you." Erin took another sip before a small voice came from the bathroom.

"Erin?" Kate pulled open the door and stuck her head out, catching sight of Jay and Erin getting dinner ready.

"Yeah baby?" Erin turned around to see Kate appearing extremely nervous. "Do you need help?"

"I-I can't reach the sink. To wash my hands." Kate told her, relieved that Erin didn't seem angry. Normally she wasn't allowed to ask for help or sometimes even talk, but Jay and Erin had never been angry with her, so maybe asking wouldn't be that bad.

"Not a problem." Kate visibly relaxed as Erin made her way to the bathroom, grateful that she wasn't upset. She hoisted her up to reach the sink, letting the little girl wash her hands herself. "Good job." Erin said, setting her down on the ground. "How about we get you a stool tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan." Jay said, overhearing the tail end of the conversation and Kate nodded. "Do you like Chinese food?" He asked, moving the plates to the kitchen table.

"I-I don't know," Kate replied, suddenly looking nervous again as Erin helped her into a chair.

"Do you want to try some? It's okay if you don't like it." Jay reassured her, scooping some of Erin's favorite noodles onto her plate. "Erin really likes these noodles. I prefer the fried rice," he said, "Do you want to try both, see which one you like?"

"Okay." Kate agreed, watching carefully as Erin poured some water into a cup and set it in front of her. "Thank you," she said, hastily drinking the liquid.

"No worries if you don't like it." Jay repeated, taking a seat across from the little girl, watching her every more.

"We can always find something that you like." Erin promised, refilling Kate's cup and sliding her chair in. "Just let us know, okay?"

She nodded, tentatively lifting the fork to her mouth. After swallowing, she smiled brightly. "I like it!" Kate exclaimed, taking another bite of the rice and noodle combo on her plate.

Jay grinned. "Well you can have as much as you like."

After dinner and ice cream, Erin helped Kate change into a new pair of pajamas courtesy of Sergeant Platt and helped brush her teeth. The little girl appeared to have a basic knowledge of hygiene, like washing hands, brushing teeth and the like, but had no idea what kinds of food she liked or that it was okay to ask for help or seconds. Jay could have sworn that she tensed up more than a dozen times in the evening and would only relax after reassurance that what she was doing or was invited to do was okay.

"Do you ever watch television?" Erin asked, settling down on the couch with Kate snuggled in her lap, clearly exhausted by the events of the day.

She shook her head, eyes drooping. "I don't watch but I listen if I'm in bed because it means that bad things aren't happening."

"Bad things?" Jay questioned gently, sitting on the other side of Erin, carefully avoiding touching Kate so to not spook her. Dr. Handel had advised to occasionally inquire into Kate's past when she brought it up, but to tread very carefully.

"Mm-hm." Kate opened her eyes and looked to Jay, "It means that Uncle Bobby and Big Joe and Mr. P are in the other room and aren't with me."

Jay and Erin exchanged sad looks. "You're safe here, I promise you." Erin murmured into Kate's soft hair. "Jay and I aren't going to let anyone hurt you again."

"I know," Kate breathed, placing one hand gently on Jay's leg. "I trust you." Erin's eyes filled with tears and she held the little girl closer. Kate yawned, eyes drooping closed again.

"How about we tuck you into bed, maybe read a story?" Erin suggested, gently toying with Kate's hair. "I bet Jay will even make funny voices for some of the characters."

Kate opened her eyes and nodded, allowing Erin to carry her to her new bedroom. "The bathroom is right across the hall if you need to go, okay?" Jay said while Erin helped Kate under the covers. "And you can wake us up if you need anything. Our bedroom is right over there."

She nodded and leaned against Erin after she settled on the bed with The Very Hungry Caterpillar. "Jay, I think Hank got a monitor that's in the pink bag?" He rifled through the bag that sat on the floor and sure enough, Hank had purchased a baby monitor and two nightlights that Jay set about plugging in.

"Nobody's getting in?" Kate glanced up at Erin expectantly.

"Nope. Doors are locked and you," Erin tapped her nose, "Are safe."

"Is Jay gonna read the story?" Kate asked after a moment, Jay having returned from placing a nightlight in the bathroom.

"You bet, Squirt." Erin passed him the book and Kate shifted on the bed, making room for Jay on the other side of her. "Is it okay if I sit here?" He asked, wanting to ensure that he had permission to be in such close proximity to the skittish little girl. She nodded and offered a sleepy smile, so Jay climbed onto the bed and put one arm around Erin's shoulder, the other holding open the book. "The Hungry Little Caterpillar," Jay began, catching Erin's gaze. She beamed at him, Kate snuggled in between the two of them, one hand resting on Jay's leg, the other clutching the stuffed tiger that didn't have a name yet. Jay's heart soared as he read the book, Kate falling asleep and Erin at such peace.

Kate was out halfway through the story, but Jay was sure to finish the book. He lightly pressed a kiss on her small fingers before helping Erin tuck the little girl under the covers. "Sleep tight baby." Erin whispered, switching off the lamp and following Jay into the living room. She turned to her partner and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "Good job babe." Erin pressed a kiss onto Jay's collarbone. "Look at how far she's come in two days."

Jay stifled a yawn, "Who knew little kids could be so exhausting," he murmured, returning a kiss to her lips. Erin chuckled, leading him to their bedroom. Jay grabbed the monitor with him and disappeared behind their bedroom door, sure to leave it ajar in case Kate came looking for them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Unclear why I can't seem to find this when I search on the CPD tab so if anyone knows what I should do lmk...but alas here's number 4.**

 **Trigger Warning for child abuse.**

While Jay had been absolutely spent from the whirlwind of a day, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. Erin had drifted off almost instantly, her head resting comfortably on his chest. In an attempt to induce some kind of slumber, Jay wriggled out of the cozy embrace and padded to the living room to watch some late-night hockey. He took the monitor with him, just in case.

After a half hour of commentary, Jay was finally dozing lightly when he heard a sharp squeal coming from Kate's room. At first, he thought he was just dreaming, but the whimper that followed caused him to spring up from the couch and quietly make his way to Kate's room. Another yelp came, and Jay carefully opened the door. "Kate?" He whispered, taking a cautious step toward the bed. The little girl was struggling underneath the covers, caught in what appeared to be a horrible nightmare. Even though it was dark, Jay could see that her pale cheeks were flushed and tears slowly seeped from beneath her eyelids.

Jay wasn't sure if he should wake up Erin, but she had been so exhausted that he decided against it. "Kate, wake up kiddo, it's just a bad dream." He gently moved the damp hair off her forehead, attempting to gently rise the child without sending her into a full-on panic attack.

Kate squirmed in her fitful sleep, desperately trying to tear her mind from the painful dream. After Jay gave her a gentle shake, she woke up gasping, tears streaming down her face. "Hey, Kate, it's Jay," Jay urged soothingly, trying to convey the fact that she was safe and that he wasn't a threat.

"J-Jay?" Kate stammered, finding his eyes amidst all the tears. Once she realized where she was, Kate threw herself into Jay's arms with a sob.

"Shh Squirt, you're safe." Jay held his little girl carefully, the initial shock of her surprise need to be held taking a while to make sense in his sleep-addled mind. He sat down on the edge of the bed and began stroking her hair back as he slowly rocked her back in an effort to soothe her heartbreaking cries, "I'm right here."

Kate clung to his bare chest, body still trembling and tears still leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm scared," she whimpered, tightening her hold around his neck.

"I know, I know. I'm right here. I've got you." Jay cooed, gently rubbing her back in a circular motion. "You're okay." After a few minutes, Kate's sobs subsided from jerking her entire body to the occasional hiccup.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?" he asked calmly, once her breathing had finally evened out. She shook her head and tightened her grip, burying her face into his neck. "Do you want to go back to sleep?" Again, she shook her head. Jay wracked his brain, trying to come up with a solution. "How about you come sit with me on the couch?"

"O-okay," Kate agreed, not letting go of her dad as he carried her into the living room. "I don't want to sleep," she informed him after Jay had settled back on the couch, Kate in his lap, one little arm around his waist and the other tightly holding the tiger.

"I know." Jay continued to rub calming circles on her back with his free hand. "We're just going to sit here for a bit, okay?"

"They're going to get me," Kate whimpered tearfully, becoming increasingly agitated, "They're going to get me and hurt me."

"Nobody is coming for you, squirt." Jay soothed, restarting the slow rocking back and forth motion in an attempt to get the little girl to relax. "I'm here, you're safe."

"But I don't want them to hurt you!" Kate wailed and promptly burst into tears again. "I don't want them to hurt you and Erin and I don't want them to take me away!"

"Hey, hey, hey." He placed his hand on the back of her head, looking her right in the eyes. "Nobody's going to hurt me. And nobody is going to hurt Erin. Trust me kiddo, I'm here to protect you and nobody gets by me."

"But they _killed_ that lady. And they killed other men too," Kate dropped the tiger and clutched Jay's arm, "They have _guns._ "

Jay took a deep breath, wondering how he should approach the subject that he and Erin both had guns. "You know how Erin and I are police officers?" Jay asked tentatively, trying to gauge if she even knew what he was talking about. Kate nodded. Dr. Handel was right-this child was brilliant and extremely perceptive. "Well, that means that we can protect you from those men, even if they have guns."

"You have guns t-too?" Kate looked up at Jay, sobs subsiding. "So even if the men came with guns, you have some?"

"That's right, Squirt." Jay pressed a kiss into her soft brown hair. "But they're never going to even get here. Because even if they tried, Sergeant Voight and the whole Chicago Police Department would make sure they couldn't get close. And even if they got close, which they never will," Jay emphasized, "Erin and I would protect you. I promise."

Kate paused before loosening her grip on Jay's arm. "Okay." She breathed, relaxing into his chest. "You're not gonna leave?"

"Nope," Jay replied, continuing the soothing ministrations, pausing to return the tiger to her tiny fist, "I'll be here as long as you want me." That seemed to resonate with the little girl, who snuggled deeper into her father's embrace. She let his comforting contact ground her, feeling more and more at peace with every gentle caress.

"C-can we check on Erin?" Kate murmured after a while, lifting her head off Jay's chest and looking up at him. He widened his eyes, having started to doze off.

"Of course," Jay pressed another kiss into her hair and carefully stood with the little girl in his arms, "Did your bad dream worry you?"

"Uh-huh," Kate replied, arms wrapped around Jay's neck, the tiger still tightly grasped in one hand, "I had a bad dream that the mean men came and hurt you and Erin."

"Well the good news is, that was just a dream." Jay quietly pushed open the door to his and Erin's bedroom. "See? Erin's sleeping right there." Erin lay peacefully under the covers, using Jay's pillow as a replacement for Jay's chest. Kate's fierce grip lessened and she let out a soft breath, clearly relieved.

"Babe?" Erin mumbled, reaching out for her partner who was not longer in the bed. "Jay?"

"Here, babe." Jay said gently, shifting Kate in his arms. She sat up and blearily squinted at Jay who was standing beside the bed with Kate against his chest.

"Is everything okay?" She rubbed her eyes, adjusting to the soft light that came in from the lamp in the living room. When Erin caught sight of Kate's red-rimmed eyes and occasional sniffles, she felt her heart clench.

"Bad dream. No big deal." Jay rested his cheek on Kate's head, "We just wanted to check on you, make sure you were okay."

Erin smiled sympathetically. "Well, now that you mention it, I could use a hug." Her eyes twinkled at Jay.

"What do you say, Squirt, do you want to give Erin a hug?" Jay wiped the tear trails off her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She nodded and Jay brought her over to Erin's waiting arms. Immediately, Kate wrapped her arms around Erin's neck and held her tightly.

"I'm glad you're okay." Kate whispered, relishing in the safety of Erin's embrace. She let out a yawn, relaxing in the comfort Erin provided.

"Tired baby?" Erin asked, threading her fingers through Kate's soft hair. The sleepy little girl shook her head but struggled to keep her eyes open and stifle another yawn.

"I don't want to sleep," she mumbled, turning her face into Erin's shoulder. "I don't want to sleep because I get scared." Erin looked up at Jay sadly. The amount of heartbreak one child endured never ceased to horrify her.

"Do you want to stay in here tonight?" Erin asked as Jay nodded his approval of the idea, "Snuggle with me?"

Kate nodded, removing her head from Erin's shoulder and looking up at her. "With you and Jay," She whispered, almost shamefully. "I don't want to be alone."

"Lucky for you, Jay _loves_ to cuddle." Erin grinned up at her partner, "Do you feel comfortable with that?"

"Uh-huh." Kate murmured, her voice fading. "With you and Jay." She repeated, allowing Erin to gently settle them underneath the covers. Jay carefully crawled back into his bed, both his girls shifting closer to him.

"I do love to cuddle." Jay kissed the crown of Erin's head and then leaned down to kiss the top of Kate's head, Erin nestling into his shoulder, Kate resting on Erin's, snuggled in between the couple.

"Please stay," Kate whispered, her voice drowning in slumber. "Don't leave me."

"We're not going anywhere." he replied, brushing a finger over her pale cheeks. "Goodnight squirt, sleep well."

* * *

When Jay woke up the next morning, he couldn't remember a time when he had felt more rested. Waking up next to Erin usually ensured a good night's sleep, seeing as the PTSD nightmares seemed to abate when she was cuddled up next to him, but nothing could compare to having his girl and his daughter _both_ pressed into his side. Kate had slept peacefully through the night following her midnight outburst, the stuffed tiger in the crook of her arm and body turned into Jay's, her head now resting on his bare chest. Erin was turned to her side, one arm stretching over Kate and onto Jay's hip, keeping him close despite the little body between them.

Jay was normally awake around half past five in the morning, using the half hour before Erin's alarm went off to watch his girl sleep peacefully. Since Hank had given them a few days off, Jay figured he had at least an hour or two before his girls rose to greet the day. He laid on the bed and took comfort in their serene slumber, occasionally toying with Erin's light brown locks.

Around half past six, Kate slowly stirred awake, tensing up as she took a moment to realize where she was. When it registered that she was surrounded by Jay and Erin she instantly relaxed and looked up to see Jay smiling at her. "Morning Squirt," he whispered, running a hand over her mussed hair.

"Hi Jay," Kate whispered back, offering a smile. She rested her head back on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, continuing to stroke her hair. She nodded, pulling the tiger out from her elbow and bringing it to her chest. "Are you hungry? I could make pancakes." Jay offered. Even though she was just four years old, Jay knew that she wasn't being fed enough, since most for year olds he came across were considerably bigger. As she snuggled against him, Jay swore he could feel how fragile she was and was determined to get her eating a healthy number of calories. She looked up at him again and gave a shy smile.

"Yes, please." She agreed. Jay pressed his finger to his lips to indicate that they had to be very quiet to not wake Erin. He carefully got them out of bed and replaced their bodies with a few of Erin's pillows, Kate in his arms. He felt the little girl tense up after they left the bedroom. "Am I in trouble?" she asked nervously after Jay set her down on the kitchen counter.

He looked at her, surprised. "Of course not. Why do you think you're in trouble?" Jay gently stroked her cheek while she got up the courage to speak again.

"Because I woke you up last night. And Erin." Kate's eyes lowered and she blinked back tears. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey." Jay bent down so that he could look his little girl in the eye. "You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? I was awake already."

"But Erin is still sleeping," Kate paused, "And you didn't want to wake her up."

Jay smiled softly, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "That's because Erin gets really sleepy sometimes. And on days when we don't have to work, I try not to wake her up so she gets more rest." He glanced over toward the bedroom. "But we can wake her up, if you want."

Kate shook her head and let out a wobbly breath. "It's okay. I just didn't want you to be mad."

"I could never be mad at you, Squirt." Jay kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. He closed his eyes, relishing in the moment.

"I like you a lot, Jay." Kate told him, giving another shy smile after she pulled back.

"Well, I like you more." Jay grinned, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to the tall cabinets that served as the pantry. He kissed her hair again, still in disbelief that this loving little girl was his. "Now, I know Erin likes chocolate chips in her pancakes. What do you like?"

"You put chocolate chips in pancakes?" Kate looked at Jay with wide eyes. "For real?"

"Mm-hm." Jay reached into the cabinet, pulling out the pancake mix and a bag of chocolate chips. "Do you want to help me make them?" She nodded eagerly and let Jay set her back down on the counter.

Erin awoke slowly, sunlight streaming in through the windows and illuminating the exposed brick on her apartment wall. She reached over for Jay, coming in contact only with pillows, cold sheets and a stuffed animal. Her eyes snapped open at the realization that Kate was staying with them and had spent the night in their bed. Erin fumbled for her cell phone on the nightstand and did a double take. It was almost eight and she had gotten a rare extra two hours of sleep. Erin smiled to herself-she loved that Jay always wanted to make sure she got as much sleep as possible.

A melodic giggle, followed by Jay's goofy laugh and another squeal of laughter echoed from the kitchen, fully waking Erin up. She shed the comforter and slipped on one of Jay's hoodies before padding over to the kitchen, wondering what she was going to find.

Kate was sitting on the counter top, giggling relentlessly as Jay squirted himself a whipped cream mustache, adding to the many dollops of whipped cream already on his face. "I think you need a mustache too, Squirt." He said, holding the can out to her. She shrieked with laughter, covering her face with her hands. Jay put a tad bit of whipped cream on her nose, eliciting another joyous giggle from his little girl.

"What's going on in here?" Erin asked, making her way to the kitchen. Kate's smile dropped from her face, anticipating Erin's anger. She quickly wiped her nose and tensed up on the counter, cowering backward, nearly hitting her head on the cabinet.

"Making breakfast." Jay responded, determined to make Kate feel at ease. He put a dollop of the fluffy white substance on Erin's nose and another on his to match. She burst out laughing and Kate instantly relaxed, realizing that Erin wasn't angry at all. "Kate and I made chocolate chip pancakes."

"Wow!" Erin exclaimed, maneuvering around Jay and standing next to Kate. "Morning baby." She leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Kate's head. Relieved that Erin wasn't upset with her, Kate wrapped her arms around Erin and hugged her.

"Hi Erin." Kate smiled, looking up at the young detective. "Jay taught me how to make the batter."

"It looks like you did a fabulous job." Erin rubbed the little girl's shoulder. "How did you sleep?"

"Better in your bed." Kate responded bashfully, looking over to Jay who grinned widely.

"It was a fun sleepover, wasn't it?" Jay said, tossing a few chocolate chips in his mouth. Erin nodded and lifted Kate into her arms.

"Best sleep I ever had." She said, giving Kate a tap on the nose. "And Jay let me sleep in which was so nice since he normally gets me up really early to go to the gym!" Kate giggled again, catching sight of Jay stealthily squirting some more whipped cream onto Erin's face, causing Erin to laugh as well. The sound of his two girls giggling in the morning was the most beautiful noise Jay had ever heard.

"So you like pancakes, huh?" Jay asked Kate after they had finished eating. Kate had accepted four pancakes, eating two more than the initial two he placed on her plate. He was sure to ask before giving them to her and was glad she declined a fifth, meaning she was comfortable enough to say no and didn't think she _had_ to consume everything in front of her.

"Yes!" Kate said enthusiastically, "I never had them with chocolate before!"

"Well, you did an amazing job helping baby, because I am so full." Erin smiled at Kate's growing comfortability with her and Jay. "How about we go to the store for some decorations for your room?"

"Okay." Kate agreed and accepted Erin's hand to get her changed for the outing.

* * *

"Do you think we overdid it?" Jay turned to Erin who was sitting in the passenger seat of the Sierra. They spent the morning picking out bedspreads and decorations to fill Kate's new room, along with a step stool and kid-friendly cups, plates and silverware. The little girl was completely overwhelmed by the ability to pick out her own clothes but happily selected a few books. She was exhausted by all the activity and choices, falling asleep on Jay's shoulder in the shop and was now sleeping soundly in the backseat of the Sierra.

"Nah," Erin smiled, pulling out a light blue shirt with daisies on it from a shopping bag at her feet, "I mean, how cute is this?" She held up a jean jacket and pair of socks, "So tiny!"

"She might outgrow this stuff in like a minute." Jay told her, "Especially if we feed her a normal number of calories."

"See, Halstead, that's why it good that I'm here, because without a woman's touch this little girl would be wearing a t shirt and jeans every day for the rest of her life." Erin joked, folding the clothes and putting them back in the bag. "And speaking of calories, I'm starving."

"Okay, how about burgers?" Jay asked, pointing straight ahead, "There's that place you like right up the street."

"Perfect," She paused, thinking for a moment. "You know, the district is right around the corner. What if we brought lunch there and introduce Kate to Hank, Platt and some of the guys?"

"Not a bad idea." Jay agreed, pulling into a parking spot. "Do you want to wait in the car with her, I'll get the food?"

Erin nodded. "I'll take a number 3, maybe get a number 2 for Hank and whatever you think Kate will like." He raised his eyebrows at her. "What? We can't show up to the district with lunch and not bring something for Voight." Jay rolled his eyes and went to order the food, quietly shutting the car door so he didn't startle his daughter.

"Kate? Wake up sweetheart." Erin lightly rested a hand on Kate's knee, gently rousing the little girl from slumber. She slowly cracked open her eyes and peered at Erin tiredly.

"Hi," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes, "Sorry."

"No need to be sorry, baby, you're allowed to sleep." Erin gave her knees another pat in reassurance. "Jay's getting some hamburgers, how does that sound?"

"Good." Kate gave Erin a sleepy smile. "Are we getting out?"

"Well, we were thinking that we could have lunch at the district since some of our friends really want to meet you." Erin said, carefully gauging Kate's facial expression, "Jay and I told them about how great you are and they want to say hi."

"Okay." Kate nodded skeptically, still waking up from her short nap, "They're good?"

"Oh yes." Erin assured her, "They're all police officers so they're very good." Jay pulled open the car door, bearing two large bags of takeout. "What, did you buy out the whole place?" Erin quipped as Jay passed her the food.

"I called the district to make sure it was okay that we stop by. And then Platt requested a burger and then Ruzek texted me and said he, Atwater, Antonio and Olinsky wanted food too." Jay slid into his seat and turned to face Kate. "Hiya, Squirt. Did you have a nice little nap?"

"Uh-huh." Kate replied, "Erin said we got burgers."

"That's right. Do you like burgers?" Jay asked, turning the key in the ignition. She smiled brightly. "Good. Do you know what else you like to eat?"

Kate thought for a moment, "Um, bananas." She said shyly, suddenly worried that she shouldn't be ungrateful. "B-but I like burgers."

"I think we can arrange to have some bananas later, what do you say babe?" Jay turned to Erin as he drove along the street. "I love bananas." He caught sight of Kate visibly relaxing in the rearview mirror. "What else do you like, Squirt?"

"I-I don't know." Kate replied, taking a moment to think again, "I think strawberries. And raspberries."

"Fruit, huh?" Erin turned around and gave Kate a smile. "What about watermelon?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically. "I love fruit because I get it when I'm good and I don't cry." Erin caught Jay's eye and swallowed thickly before forcing a smile.

"Oh yeah?" Jay said, clearing is throat as he pulled into the district parking lot, "Well, I think we'll have to stop at the grocery store on the way home for some fruit then."

"Even though I cried?" Kate looked incredulously at Jay, shocked that she would be allowed a treat even after being upset the night before. He turned around and offered a comforting smile.

"Squirt, you can have fruit whenever you want. No matter what." Jay gave her foot a pat. She smiled brightly at him and then looked out the window curiously.

"Where-where are we?" Kate asked slowly as Jay and Erin unbuckled their seatbelts and climbed out of the vehicle.

"We are at the Chicago Police Department's 21st District. It's where Jay and I work." Erin told her, unclipping the clasps on the car seat. Kate froze, nervously clutching the plastic sides to her seat. "Is it okay if I carry you?"

"Everyone is super friendly," Jay promised, holding the bags of takeout in one hand, "And we can show you our desks and all sorts of cool stuff."

"But this is the police station. Where they take _bad guys._ " Kate looked up at Erin fearfully.

"They don't keep the bad guys in our office," Erin said, "We're going to where the good guys plan to catch the bad guys."

"Yeah, most of the bad guys are kept way across town," Jay added, "Only some of them come here, but they don't stay and they're not where we are. Plus, you're safe with me and Erin."

Kate still looked unconvinced but allowed Erin to carry her. She tightly held the material of Erin's shirt in her tiny fists and Erin could feel her heart racing. "Don't worry, you're safe with us." Erin whispered, adjusting Kate on her hip as Jay pulled open the front door.

"Hey Sarge." Jay called, entering the district and tapping the front desk. Platt was turned around, speaking to someone on the phone.

"I'm going to have to call you back." Platt hung up and turned, "Halstead. Lindsay." She looked over at Erin and Kate who was anxiously clinging to Erin, "And who do we have here?" The older woman offered a big smile.

"Sergeant Platt, this is Kate." Jay beamed.

"Well, you are just about the cutest little thing I've ever seen." Platt rounded the desk and leaned against the front. "Hi, Kate. I'm Trudy Platt." She waved and Kate returned a small smile.

"Hello." She whispered, still clutching Erin's shirt. Kate nervously glanced around at all the people milling around the entrance, from the patrolmen and women to civilians.

"We brought you a number four." Jay passed her the bag with her order in it, "We're going to eat in the breakroom upstairs."

"Sounds good. Nice to meet you, Kate." The little girl managed a small wave in response. The buzzer that sounded after Jay used the palm scanner to get upstairs caused Kate to jump. She held tightly to Erin as they followed Jay up the steps and into the bullpen.

"Hey man." Atwater greeted, standing up from his desk. Ruzek and Antonio emerged from the breakroom, bearing mugs of coffee.

"So what's the deal, Jay, you got a kid now?" Ruzek said, sauntering over to his desk. Jay cleared his throat and gestured to Erin who had Kate in her arms, making a face at the young officer.

"Guys, this is Kate. Kate, this is Al, Kevin, Antonio, and that silly kid over there is Adam." Jay stood next to Erin, the fear radiating off Kate almost palpable. She remained clamped to Erin's side but didn't hide in her shoulder like Jay expected she would.

"They're all really goofy." Erin added, shifting Kate slightly on her hip. The little girl clung impossibly tighter to Erin's shirt and glanced uneasily from one man to the other. Erin was grateful that Jay had called ahead, noting that the whiteboard that had the faces of Kate's captors on it was turned into the wall.

"Hi Kate." They chorused, offering wide, gentle smiles. In Jay's earlier call he was sure to mention just how skittish Kate was, especially when it came to strange men. Kate continued to regard them nervously and flinched when Antonio walked by to sit down at his desk.

"These guys are all really nice." Erin avowed, taking a step into the bullpen, "And they keep everyone safe."

"Like you and Jay?" Kate asked quietly, still anxiously taking in her surroundings.

"Just like me and Jay." Erin smiled, "And this is Sergeant Voight. He's our boss." Hank had just hung up the phone and exited his office.

"Hey kiddo." Hank smiled at the sight of his girl with a child on the hip. "How's it going, Jay?"

"Awesome." Jay replied, reaching into the bag and tossing each of his teammates their respective order. "We just came from the store, we bought all sorts of stuff and we thought it would be good to show Kate where Erin and I work."

"Great idea." Hank took a step closer toward Erin. "Hi Kate, my name is Sergeant Voight, but you can call me Hank." His normally gruff voice was light and gentle, causing Jay to raise his eyebrows and look incredulously at the rest of the group.

"Hi." Kate whispered, intently studying Hank's face. She looked up at Erin and over to Hank again. "You were the man who found me."

"That's right," Hank smiled, "You were the bravest kid I ever met." The little girl blushed, turning her face into Erin's shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok so clearly I'm a dingus and I figured out how to find this story. Also didn't realize that most people space out uploading their chapters #oops I already have most of it written so if you're impatient (I feel ya I can barely wait for coffee) never fear. Is it obvious I have no idea what I'm doing? Good. Cheers**

 **Trigger Warning for child abuse.**

"Lunch went surprisingly well," Jay commented as they pulled out of the grocery store parking lot. Kate was asleep in the backseat again, absolutely wiped from the new experiences she was having. After they ate lunch in the breakroom with Hank, Kate let the sergeant hold her hand and show her around the district while Antonio helped fill Jay and Erin in on the missing offenders. She gave him a high-five goodbye too, further surprising the detectives with her trust in the typically brusque older sergeant.

"Hank's actually pretty good with kids," Erin replied, "He loves Danny but he's so far away." Her face fell, "He misses Justin, but I think being with Kate today really put him in a good mood."

Jay nodded, "That is always a good thing. Is she still out?" he asked. Erin turned in her seat to see Kate completely conked out in her car seat, head on her shoulder and little mouth slightly open. She grinned and nodded.

"And we found out about a few things she likes to eat, thank god." Erin blew out a breath, "I swear she's going to get so much fruit she may not even like it anymore."

Jay chuckled, remembering how Kate had admitted she liked bananas and strawberries earlier that day. They stopped at the grocery store on the way home to purchase the fruit in addition to other groceries in hopes of giving Kate as much food as she needed to grow. "Well, let's see if she likes vegetables and steak. That's real growing food."

"She's _your_ daughter. Of course she's going to like steak," Erin joked, "But we didn't get any. We got ground beef and a chicken."

"Shoot." Jay sighed. "Okay, tonight we're trying out Italian. Pasta with a Bolognese sauce and a salad," Erin looked at him with raised eyebrows, "What?"

"She's a kid, Jay. Kids don't eat salad."

"So I'll sauté some mushrooms. We'll figure it out." Jay laughed at the face Erin made in regards to the mushrooms. "Okay, broccoli."

The couple managed to get the sleepy little girl up to apartment with all the groceries, though Jay had to take another trip to the Sierra to retrieve all the items they bought to decorate Kate's room. Kate had woken up in the elevator and was tiredly resting on Erin's shoulder as she made her way around the kitchen, putting various groceries away. "You had a big day, huh?" Erin asked, kissing the top of her head.

"Uh-huh." Kate responded, sleepily rubbing her eyes. She was starting to doze off in Erin's arms as the detective moved around the kitchen, her soft humming lulling Kate into a state of relaxation.

"Got everything." Jay said breathlessly, entering the apartment with his arms full of bags and the bathroom stool. He set everything down beside the couch before turning to his girls. "How about I get dinner started? Some pasta and veggies?"

"Good idea, babe." Erin smiled, leaning against the fridge, gently running her fingers through Kate's hair. "Maybe while Jay gets dinner ready, we get you in the bath, hmm?"

Kate's eyes snapped open and her body went rigid with fear. "B-bath time?" she asked, voice wavering and eyes filling with tears.

"Just to get you nice and clean before dinner and bed." Erin said, "I think you have a little whipped cream in your hair from this morning."

"No bath, please." Kate pleaded, pushing away from Erin, "Please." Jay and Erin exchanged worried looks.

"Why not, baby?" Erin asked, still holding Kate in her arms despite the little girl's distress.

"I don't like it in there," She begged, tears now steadily running down her cheeks, "Please no bath."

"Did something happen to you in the bath?" Jay probed, now standing in front of Erin and his rapidly unraveling daughter. Kate nodded and burst into tears, covering her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry!" She wailed, tiny shoulder quaking, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Oh, sweetheart." Erin felt her heart clench as she held the child closely, gently rubbing her back. "You don't have to be sorry for being worried about the bath."

"P-please don't make me sleep, I'm sorry!" Kate wept, "I-I'll be good, I'm sorry."

"Shh, we're not going to make you sleep, Squirt." Jay stroked her cheek, "We just want to know why you're so upset."

"They hurt me in there!" Kate cried, "And-and in the hospital when I was s-scared, they made me sleep!"

"That's not going to happen here, baby." Erin soothed, "I am so sorry that happened to you, but you're safe with me and Jay." She looked at her partner, "Maybe a shower would be better?"

"Y-you're not gonna make me sleep?" Kate whispered, Erin's question not registering as she looking from Erin to Jay and back nervously, "Really?"

"No, no." Jay promised, "We have to eat dinner. Do you think a shower would be okay? Erin could help you."

Kate nodded slowly, drying her eyes. "I'm sorry," she croaked, burying her face in Erin's shoulder, "I didn't mean to cry."

"No need to apologize." Jay kissed the top of her head and then Erin's. "How about I make dinner and Erin can help you in the shower? I know we got some cool bat-I mean shower toys."

"Okay." Kate mumbled, her breath finally evening out.

Erin set up the stool in the bathroom and placed some of the bath toys in the shower, turning the knob to warm. "Alrighty babes, let's get you nice and clean." The little girl was struggling to pull the flowered t shirt that she had worn that day over her head. "Here, let me help." Erin gently pulled the shirt off, pleased to see that the bruises that littered Kate's shoulders and back were fading. She helped the little girl into the shower and placed the kid-friendly bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash on the floor. Erin paused, unsure of how to proceed.

"I know what to do," Kate said softly, looking up at Erin for approval. Not wanting to frighten her, Erin nodded and stepped back.

"Okay, careful because it can get a little slippery in there." Erin instructed, "Do you want me to stay in here or do you want me to go?"

"Stay," Kate said quickly, "Please." While Kate showered, Erin sat on the edge of the tub, mindlessly scrolling through her phone. There were a few texts from Hank, with updates on the case and one from Burgess, asking how Kate was settling in and if she needed anything. "Erin?" Kate's voice came softly, barely audible over the bathroom fan and the water running. Erin snapped her head up to see Kate poking her head out of the shower door, looking expectantly at her.

"What's up?" Erin asked, placing the phone on counter, "You all done?"

"I-I need help to wash my hair," Kate whispered, "Because last time I took a bath they didn't get to."

Erin nodded, remembering Natalie's story of how Kate had a meltdown after being forced to take a bath in the hospital. "Not a problem." She smiled and reached into the shower, working the kiddie shampoo through Kate's hair and helping her wash it out.

Kate seemed to relax as Erin threaded her hands through her hair. Even though Erin was getting soaked, she didn't mind. A little water on the floor and on her jeans was a small price to pay for making Kate feel safe. "All done." Kate told her, flashing a smile as the water sluiced off her skinny body. Erin shut off the water and wrapped her in a fluffy grey towel, determined to wash all the new ones so Kate could use them the next time.

"Great job baby," Erin kissed Kate's wet head, "Let's get you dried off and into pajamas, okay?" Kate nodded eagerly and shivered.

"Look at you, all nice and clean!" Jay exclaimed after Kate emerged from her bedroom wearing a new set of pajamas. She smiled shyly at him and followed Erin into the kitchen.

"Smells amazing in here," Erin remarked, snaking one arm around Jay's back and leaning up to kiss him, "Need any help?"

"Well, I have a job that would be perfect for Kate," Jay's eyes twinkled and he turned around from the stove to look at the little girl, who was standing by the counter. Her eyes lit up. "What do you say, Squirt? Want to help make the sauce while Erin takes a shower?"

"Okay!" Kate beamed, accepting a boost up to the kitchen countertop.

* * *

"Good first day as parents, huh babe?" Jay asked as he and Erin were cuddled in bed, having just finished watching a Cub's game and the post-game commentary. Dinner had been a huge success with Kate. As it turned out, she seemed to love salad and enthusiastically ate the pasta Jay made. She was even more thrilled when she got strawberries for dessert and was looking forward to having a banana in the morning. There weren't even been tears when the concept of bedtime was broached. Even though she hadn't fallen asleep during the story, Kate settled down in bed and agreed to go to sleep. Throughout the game she slept soundly, no nightmare to be had.

"I'll say." Erin snuggled closer into Jay's bare chest, "I think she really trusts us. And the district? I mean, considering everything, that was like the best-case scenario."

"Mm," Jay hummed in assent, "Will wants to meet her. Like, formally, since she was unconscious when he saw her in Med."

Erin thought for a moment. "Why not have him over here for dinner? Maybe tomorrow we take Kate to the park or something after the appointment with Dr. Handel, show her some of Chicago because to be honest I don't think she's seen any of it, and then have dinner here?"

"Sounds like a plan." Jay kissed her lips before settling against the pillows. He was over the moon with how well his little girl seemed to be doing. Every time she flashed a smile, Jay swore that his heart was going to burst, and seeing her interact and love Erin only intensified his love for both his girls.

* * *

It was rare that Erin ever awoke before Jay, seeing as he kept to rigid habit of waking up at five-thirty. She never understood why someone would wake up _before_ their alarm, but she found Jay's routine endearing. Sometimes when he had horrible nightmares she would lay awake and run her fingers through his hair, up his arm or on his chest, any way to ground him with her touch and let him know that he was here, in Chicago and in their bed. Those occasions were becoming few and far between. When she jolted awake, Erin turned to the side to see Jay sleeping peacefully, flat on his back and a soft snore escaping his lips every once and a while.

Erin listened intently for any cries coming from across the hall or from the baby monitor on Jay's night table, but the only noise was the hum of the apartment building and the occasional car driving below. It was just past five in the morning and the mid-summer sun was beginning to rise, gently bathing the room in a soft glow. She stretched and cuddled into Jay's side, draping one arm across his torso, "You're up early," he mumbled into her hair, woken up by the shift in the mattress.

"Kate didn't wake us up last night," Erin replied, tracing patterns with her fingers on his bare chest, "And I couldn't fall back asleep."

Jay chuckled softly, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Erin shook her head, "I don't know, I just have a gut feeling. I'm just going to go check on her." She shed the blanket and carefully padded across the living room to Kate's. Her door was still ajar, so Erin poked her head in, expecting to see the little girl sleeping peacefully. "Kate?" Erin called, faced with an empty bed. She entered the room and peered around the room, but Kate was nowhere to be found. "Kate?"

"What's going on, Er?" Jay emerged from their bedroom, blearily rubbing his eyes.

"She's not in bed!" Erin hissed, heading for the kitchen, "We must not have heard the monitor and she had a nightmare because she's not in bed and she's not out here."

"Maybe she's in the bathroom?" Jay opened the bathroom door, but Kate was nowhere in sight.

"The door is still locked." Erin declared, relieved that Kate hadn't left the apartment. "Kate?" she called again, "Where are you sweetheart?"

On a hunch, Jay pulled open the closet door in Kate's room. There, huddled on the floor with her knees drawn to her chest, sat his little girl. Kate's eyes were red and puffy, and it looked like she hadn't slept at all. "Erin," Jay called softly, "I found her." He carefully knelt down in front of the shivering little girl, resting his hands on his knees. "Hi Squirt," he whispered, "Did you have a bad dream?"

She nodded, looking up at him tearfully. Erin rushed into the room, glancing around quickly. "Where is she?" she asked before catching sight of Jay kneeling on the floor and the shaking child in front of him. "Oh, baby," Erin stood behind her partner and rested her hands on his shoulders, "You're shivering. Do you want to get back under the covers?"

Kate shook her head, tears steadily dripping down her cheeks. "I don't think she slept," Jay said to Erin, looking sympathetically at his daughter. Goosebumps stood out on her thin arms and legs, her small body trembling, accompanied by the occasional hiccup. He reached his arms out and she cautiously scooted toward him, allowing her father to wrap her in his warm embrace. Like the night before, Jay slowly rocked back and forth, trying to get her heart to stop racing. Erin draped a blanket over the little girl, heart breaking for the horrific nightmare she endured. "You could have woken us up, Squirt," Jay mused, rubbing her back in soothing circles, "We don't want you to be scared all alone."

She sniffed, burying her face into Jay's neck. A whimper escaped her lips and Kate shuddered against her father's bare chest, soaking up his warmth and security. "I-I didn't want you to be mad." Kate's voice was muffled, still pressed into Jay's neck.

"Oh baby, we'd never be mad if you woke us up. Especially if you were scared." Erin gently threaded her fingers through Kate's mussed brown locks, resting on hand on her partner's back.

"That's what we're here for. To make you feel safe." Jay kissed the top of her head, "I am so sorry you didn't feel safe last night." She relaxed against him, quaking breaths evening out as Jay continued to comfort his little girl.

"How about some breakfast, hmm?" Erin suggested, "I think we got some yummy cereal yesterday." Kate nodded and Jay stood, carrying his baby to the kitchen and setting her on the breakfast stool.

"Coffee?" He looked at Erin knowingly and she nodded gratefully. It wasn't even six in the morning and she was exhausted. Jay started the machine and pulled out a box of Cheerios from the cupboard. "How do you feel about Cheerios and banana slices?" Jay asked the little girl. She wiped her eyes and nodded eagerly at the mention of bananas.

Jay smiled, relieved that the worst was behind them and set about pouring cheerios into a bowl and slicing up a banana. Kate ate her breakfast quietly while Jay and Erin sipped their coffee, both wondering how one little girl could have been through so much pain in such a short lifetime.

After breakfast, Kate and Erin sat together on the couch with the intention of watching a movie that they had picked out at the store the other day. Within minutes, Kate was sound asleep in Erin's lap and Erin was struggling to keep her eyes open as she ran her finger through Kate's hair. "Tired, babe?" Jay asked knowingly, sitting next to her after draping her legs over his lap. She nodded drowsily, leaning forward to snuggle against his shoulder.

"Can we just stay here for a while?" Erin murmured as he pressed a kiss onto the top of her head. "I don't think Kate slept for most of the night and I woke up at _five._ "

Jay chuckled and pulled her closer. "That sounds like a plan." There was no place Jay would rather be than snuggled on the couch with his two favorite girls, basking in the mid-morning sun and listening to Erin's soft breathing on his neck. While Kate and Erin snoozed, Jay set to work researching preschools in the area that he might be able to get Kate into. He wanted to know that she would feel safe wherever he and Erin decided upon. There was one located on the route from the apartment to the district that looked perfect, but the sign ups appeared to have already ended. It even had a summer session that had begun but was designed for working parents. Jay emailed them anyway and sent out a few more inquiries, explaining Kate and his situation.

* * *

Following their early morning nap, the little family ventured to Dr. Handel's outpatient office for Kate's first appointment. Kate remembered the woman but was extremely reluctant meet with her alone, clinging to Jay and insisting she didn't want to go in. After promising that they were sitting right outside, Kate hesitantly followed the therapist into her office. While the couple sat in the lounge, Jay received a phone call from the preschool that he reached out to earlier that day.

Dr. Handel opened the office door and Kate rushed out as fast as her little legs would carry her, launching herself into Erin's lap. "You stayed." Kate sounded relieved as she sagged against Erin, tightly wrapping her arms around her neck.

"Of course we did, baby." Erin kissed Kate's soft hair, "Did you have a nice conversation with Dr. Handel?"

Kate nodded slowly, looking over at Jay, who was on the phone. He waved and flashed her a big smile before returning to his call. "Actually, if you and Jay want to come inside to chat with us for a bit, that would be great," Dr. Handel poked her head out of her office.

"You go," Jay whispered to Erin, "I'll be right in." Erin carried Kate, unwilling to disentangle herself from Erin's embrace, into the office and settled on the couch. Kate remained in her lap, holding tightly to the sleeves of Erin's sweater.

"So how have things been going?" Dr. Handel asked, giving Erin a warm smile.

"Well, Jay and I _love_ having Kate," Erin said, equally for Dr. Handel and for Kate, "We had a sleepover the other night and have been trying out all kinds of new foods."

"That's lovely." The older woman smiled. Jay quietly opened the office door and slipped in.

"Sorry about that," he said, settling on the couch beside Erin. Kate shifted over and tentatively grabbed his hand, holding it tightly when Jay opened his palm. "Hi Squirt. I missed you." She offered a smile in return, leaning in between the two detectives.

"Not to worry. Erin was just telling me that you all had a sleepover and have been trying new foods. What else have you been up to?"

"We toured the district yesterday after we went to the store to find some decorations for Kate's room." Jay told her, "And Kate met a lot of our police friends, including Sergeant Voight."

"Ah yes, Sergeant Voight." Dr. Handel recalled, "I work very closely with Dr. Charles down at Chicago Med. He mentioned in passing that you two," she indicated to Erin, "are quite close."

Erin nodded, "Um yeah, he took me in when I was fifteen." She looked over at Jay, not realizing that her relationship with Voight would be brought up.

"I only mention that because it's important for Kate to feel comfortable with the people who will be consistently in her life. It would be great for her to get to know someone like your sergeant." Erin and Jay both nodded. "I seem to recall that you have a family in Chicago as well, Jay?"

"Yeah, my brother Will is a doctor at Med. He's coming over for dinner tonight," Jay paused, "Unless you think that's a bad idea."

"Oh no, that is a fabulous idea." Dr. Handel told him, "Now, I would love to discuss a few things further with you and Erin. Kate, do you want to go play with some of those toys over there?" She indicated to a little table that had some colorings pages and toys on it in the corner of the office.

Kate looked up at Erin apprehensively and back to the therapist. "It's okay. Jay and I will be right here," Erin reassured her, "Maybe you could draw a picture?" Kate nodded and carefully climbed off the couch before slowly made her way to the table, sitting down in a small red chair. Kate busied herself with coloring but looked up every few moments to be sure that Jay and Erin hadn't left.

Once the little girl was out of earshot, Dr. Handel leaned closer to talk to Erin and Jay. "I can't stress enough you how much progress you've made with her," Dr. Handel told them, "She is doing so much better than when I met her a few days ago, it's like another child."

Jay and Erin smiled. "It's been tough, especially with the nightmares," Jay said quietly, not wanting Kate to overhear, "Is there anything we can do?"

"I presume by 'sleepover' that you meant she spent the night in your bed?" Erin and Jay nodded simultaneously. "Well, the best thing to do is to provide comfort. Ordinarily I don't recommend consistently allowing a child to sleep in bed with the adults, but given the circumstances, if that is what makes her feel safe and it works, for the meantime it is okay. That being said, she should always start of in her own bed."

"She didn't sleep last night." Erin informed the woman, "She went to bed fine and was asleep when we went to bed, but sometime after she woke up from a nightmare. She spent the night awake in her closet because she was too worried to wake us up, even though we've told her before that it's alright to wake us."

Dr. Handel nodded, "It may take some time for her to realize that you won't be angry at her for doing certain things. As long as you continue to encourage communication, things should get better. When I asked Kate why she liked being with the two of you, she said 'Because they make me feel safe.' Now that is such progress in a short period of time." Erin squeezed Jay's hand. "She did mention that she was too afraid to take a bath, so you had her take a shower?"

Erin nodded, "Yeah, we brought up the bath and she had a complete meltdown. I-I think someone hurt her when she was in the tub or something."

"In all likelihood that is probably true. As she gets more comfortable with you, you may want to try again. Same goes for other things that she may be afraid of. It will just take time." Dr. Handel smiled again. "Kate also mentioned that you've been feeding her very well, which is a great sign. As I said last time, just be sure to not force her to finish by putting too much food. It is good if she can learn to ask for more, but offering it is great too, just as long as she knows she can say no."

"She said no to a third helping of pancakes the other day," Jay said proudly, "And we learned that she really likes fruit."

"Excellent. Now, have you figured out what you are doing about daycare?"

"Actually, that's who I was talking to. A preschool near us said we could come by on Thursday to check it out and that she could start the following Monday. They have a summer session that's basically a camp and transitions into school in September." Jay said, turning to Erin, "I mean, we would have to figure out what to do next week but it's right in between work and the apartment-"

"We'll figure it out," Erin reassured him, giving his hand another squeeze.

"Beginning in a week is a good amount of time," Dr. Handel confirmed, "If you would like, we could talk to her about it today? Place the idea in her head so she knows about it." Jay and Erin nodded. "Kate, do you want to show us what you've been working on?" Dr. Handel asked.

Kate carefully pushed back her chair and brought the picture she was working on over to the couch. "It's beautiful!" Erin exclaimed, looking down at the printed picture of a cartoon tiger that she had colored in. Kate had even written her name on the bottom of the page.

"That is definitely going on the fridge!" Jay grinned and the little girl blushed, "Do you want to sit with us for a minute? We're going to head out soon." She nodded and accepted a boost into his lap.

"So Kate, Jay and Erin have been telling me all about how amazing you are," Dr. Handel said warmly. The little girl blushed again, looking shyly over to Erin who gave her a smile. "Do you like living with Jay and Erin?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically. "They make me feel safe," She repeated her statement from earlier, leaning against Jay's chest. He kissed the crown of her head and beamed at the doctor.

"That's right, you're safe now," Dr. Handel affirmed. "Have you ever been to school before?" Kate shook her head. "Do you know what school is?"

Kate nodded. "One of Mr. P's ladies taught me school," Kate told her, "That's how come I can read. But she died."

"She died?" Dr. Handel asked, observing the detectives' shocked expression. "How do you know that?"

"Miss Bethy was playing with Big Joe and then she got real sick and died," Kate said, matter-of-factly, "They were poking themselves."

"I see," the doctor paused, "Well, most kids your age learn things in big groups with a teacher. And in a few days, you're going to get to as well."

"I have to leave?" Kate stammered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Just for a few hours a day. And Erin and Jay will be there in the morning and then come get you in the afternoon. You'll get to meet other kids and do all kinds of fun things," Dr. Handel said calmly, "And you'll learn about books and nature and how to write."

"Bu-but I'll still be with Erin and Jay?" Kate looked up at Jay with tear-filled eyes. He nodded.

"You'll still be with us. But when we go to work, you go to school and then we meet up again afterwards. And on the weekends, we can be together all day," Jay explained, trying to convey the concept of school without causing a complete meltdown.

Kate still looked apprehensive. "When do I go?"

"In a few days," Erin stepped in, "We're all going to go meet your teacher and some of the kids first. And then in a few days, you'll get to go with some new friends and Jay and I will pick you up."

"And I still stay with you?" Kate asked. Erin and Jay nodded. The little girl seemed to relax at their confirmation that they were not going to abandon her.

"I think that's a good place to end. We're all set for today," Dr. Handel stood. "Enjoy the rest of your weekend."

"Thank you," Jay shook her hand, balancing Kate on his hip, "Do you want to help me make dinner tonight?" He asked and she nodded, resting her head gently on his shoulder as he carried her out of the building.


	6. Chapter 6

**Another one because it's too hot to go outside. Enjoy!**

Jay set about making the chicken and potatoes for dinner with Will, while Erin chopped up some vegetables for a salad so she wouldn't, according to Jay, "burn the apartment down". Kate sat on the counter, helping stir the salad dressing

The knock at the apartment door caused Kate to jump and instinctively reach out to Jay, who had just finished turning the chicken in the oven. "It's just my brother, Will." Jay told her, lifting her into his arms and settling her comfortably on his hip. "He's pretty goofy." Kate wrapped her arms neck as Erin pulled open the apartment door. Jay could feel her little heart thumping against his torso, so he held her closer. "He's okay, I promise."

"Hey, Erin." Will entered the apartment, bearing a bag that appeared to be full of toys and games. He hugged her and looked around. "Where's my new little niece?"

"Right here." Jay emerged from the kitchen, Kate anxiously holding tight to her father. "Kate, this is my brother, Will."

"Hi Kate!" Will taking a few steps toward his brother. She noticeably flinched, causing Will to halt his movements. "I'm your Uncle Will." The young doctor reached into the bag he was carrying and pulled out stuffed giraffe. "Jay mentioned that you like your tiger, so I thought I would get him a friend."

Kate looked from Will to the plush toy and up to Jay, as if asking permission to accept the stuffed animal from this stranger. Jay smiled, "Wow, Squirt, it looks like Uncle Will brought tiger a buddy." He accepted the gift from his brother and handed it to the little girl. Slowly, Kate took the giraffe in her small hand, regarding it intently.

"Thank you," she whispered to Will, snuggling closer against her father. "I love animals."

"You are very welcome." Will beamed at his brother. "So, I just got off shift and I am starving. When are we eating?"

"I think dinner's almost ready," Erin told him, scooping up the tomatoes she chopped and placing them into a salad bowl, "But then again I didn't cook so you'll have to ask Jay."

"Five minutes," Jay informed his brother, peeking into the oven while still carrying Kate in his arms. "Kate, do you want to go wash your hands?"

The little girl looked at him wearily and didn't lessen her grip. Her anxiousness over the new man in the apartment was palpable. "How about I help you?" Erin asked, extending her arms out so that Jay could pass the child over to her. Kate nodded and reached out to Erin, holding tightly around her neck as Erin made her way to the bathroom.

Jay reached into the fridge and passed Will a beer. "So, how's being a dad?" Will asked, popping the cap off and taking a sip.

"She's amazing," Jay grinned, clinking his bottle to his brother's, "I mean, it's been hard because the poor thing has been through so much, but she so incredible. And she _loves_ Erin. And we're definitely getting her to open up more and more every day."

"That's awesome, man." Will smiled at his brother's newfound love for being a father. The oven beeped and Jay quickly silenced it, knowing that his little girl probably jumped out of her skin at the noise. "What're we having?"

"Roast chicken and roast potatoes with a salad." Jay pulled the sizzling bird out of the oven and set it on the stove. "We just got to let it set for a minute."

Kate and Erin walked out of the bathroom, hand in hand. "Need help setting the table, babe?" Erin asked, maneuvering around the breakfast bar to retrieve the plates and cutlery. Jay nodded and watched Erin hand Kate the forks and instruct her to put them on the table.

"No problem, darling." Will joked, faking a high falsetto to imitate Jay. He retrieved a soft punch to the shoulder from his brother.

"You are no help." Jay told the other Halstead and spun around to face his daughter. "Great job setting the table Squirt!" He smiled and helped the little girl climb into her chair.

Kate was mostly quiet throughout dinner, appearing to enjoy her chicken, potatoes and salad. She carefully held her fork, looking up occasionally at Erin or Jay as they were speaking with Will. Things were going well down at Chicago Med but there had been a recent string of overdoses linked to some bad oxy. "Do you want any more chicken? Or potatoes?" Erin asked Kate, who had finished her dinner and set the fork down.

"No thank you," Kate replied and glanced over at Will anxiously. She was still nervous around this man, even though he did give her that giraffe. The toy was sitting on the chair beside her and she gripped it tightly.

"So you like animals Kate?" Will asked tentatively, not wanting to scare the little girl. He was seated opposite Erin, who indicated it was okay to keep talking. "Which ones do you like best?"

She looked to Erin and then to Jay, unsure if answering Will was okay. Since they were smiling and looked like they wanted to know too, Kate decided she should tell them. "Um, I like ducks. And sharks," Kate offered Will a small smile, "And giraffes."

"Ducks and sharks huh?" Will grinned, "Have you ever been to the aquarium?" She shook her head. "Well, they have sharks there. And all kinds of fish, turtles and other sea creatures."

"Really?" Kate eyes went wide, "All in the same place?"

"Mm-hm. And there are seals and otters too," Will paused, glancing at Jay who was absolutely captivated by Kate's fascination with what his brother was saying, "And you know what? Now that I think about it, there's a park right across from the hospital where I work that has a big pond full of ducks. And they have food that you can feed them and you can get really close."

"Wow," Kate couldn't believe what she was hearing, "How many are there?"

"Like a hundred," Will replied and chuckled as her hazel eyes widened.

"Maybe we should to there tomorrow, what do you say Squirt?" Jay asked, eyes twinkling, "We could visit Uncle Will and then go see the ducks."

The little girl nodded furiously. "Yes!" She exclaimed, grinning widely at the Halstead brothers.

Kate fell asleep on the couch, snuggled in Erin's lap after reading two animal books. Jay and Will sat in the kitchen, discussing their father, Erin lightly dozing off as a Cubs game played in the background. Will showed Kate how to play one of the games he brought with him and the little girl steadily warmed up to him, even giving him a high-five good night like she had done to Voight the other day.

Suddenly, Erin felt her body leave the warmth of the couch. "Jay?" she mumbled, realizing that she was in his arms and heading for the bedroom, "What time is it?"

"Just after midnight." Jay set her down on the bed and tucked the covers around her shoulders, "Will just left."

"And Kate?" Erin asked drowsily, resting her head on the pillow.

"Sound asleep." He pulled off his Henley and crawled into bed beside his girl. "Voight texted and wanted to see if we could come for brunch tomorrow."

"What'd you tell him?" Erin raised her eyebrows, knowing that Hank put the fear of God within Jay when it came to her.

"That we'd be there at 10:30. With bagels." Jay scooted closer to Erin and ran his fingers through her hair. "Is that okay? I probably should have asked but since Kate liked him and-"

"It's perfect," Erin mused, shifting her head from the pillow to Jay's chest, "Let's take her to the park after. I think she'll love to see the ducks."

* * *

"Ready babe?" Erin called, slipping into her favorite summer sandals and tying her hair back to keep it off her neck. Kate had made it through the night in her own bed despite two nightmares, both which were resolved quickly, likely due to her exhaustion. Erin and Jay were sure to keep the monitor on as loud as possible so to not miss anything. All in all, the they considered the night a success and were even able to sleep in a little.

Kate was now waiting patiently by the door, clad in a pair of tiny jean shorts and pink t shirt that they had picked out at the store the other day. Erin had helped her put her hair into a ponytail and even fastened a bow on top. She looked absolutely adorable.

"I'm coming!" Jay replied from the bedroom. There was something about seeing Hank outside of work that made Jay want to look decent. He was dating the man's almost-daughter, and really did not want him to hate or fire him. Jay pulled his shoes on and grabbed his keys off the table. "Sorry about that."

"Did you have to fix your makeup?" Erin quipped, pulling open the front door.

"Ha, ha." Jay locked the door behind him. "Ready for brunch, Squirt?" The little girl nodded and smiled brightly.

"We're going to Sergeant Voight's house?" Kate held Jay's hand as they made their way to the car.

"Yep, but we're stopping to get bagels on the way." Jay told her, boosting her into the car seat and buckling her up. He slid into the passenger seat and let out a breath.

"Nervous, Halstead?" Erin asked, igniting the car and pulling out of the apartment complex.

"He _is_ my boss," Jay responded, "And I am _dating_ his daughter."

Erin rolled her eyes. "He's definitely over it by now."

Jay rang the doorbell, holding Kate's hand in his. He was surprised that the little girl hadn't immediately wanted to be held. Erin tapped her foot and peered into the window. "Now who's nervous?" Jay joked.

"I'm not nervous, I'm _hungry,_ " Erin informed him, just as Hank pulled open the door. "Hey Hank."

"Hey kiddo." Hank accepted the bag of bagels from his pseudo-daughter, "Jay," Hank acknowledged his detective and reached his hand out. Jay shook it.

"Thanks for having us over, Sarge," Jay said, "Kate, you remember Sergeant Voight?" Kate nodded and looked up at the large older man. She offered a shy smile.

"Hi Kate." Hank bent down and held out his hand for a high five. Kate initially flinched but quickly relaxed, remembering who she was with. She smiled again and pressed her tiny palm against the gruff sergeant's. "It's so nice to have you," Hank stood and looked over at Jay, who was still standing awkwardly in his summer jacket. "Give Erin your coat, she knows where to put them," Hank instructed, turning down the hallway toward the kitchen, "I'm making omelets."

"Sounds great." Erin called after him, "You hungry baby?"

Kate nodded again, taking Erin's hand and heading for the kitchen. Hank had already made coffee and was pulling milk and eggs out of the fridge. "Do you want bacon, onion and peppers?" Hank asked Erin, handing her the cream cheese for bagels.

"Yep," she confirmed and leaned in closer, "Please be nice to Jay."

Hank looked at her in feigned shock, "I am nice!" Erin just rolled her eyes and set the cream cheese on the table. Jay gingerly sat at the kitchen table next to Kate. "Halstead," Hank asked, causing Jay to jump slightly, "What do you want in your omelet?"

"Uh, bacon, onion, cheese?" Jay said and Hank nodded in approval. He turned to his daughter, who was sitting quietly. "Kate, have you ever had an omelet before?" The little girl shook her head and bit her lip.

"Do you like eggs?" Hank asked gently, turning around from the counter and giving her a smile. Kate nodded slowly. She wasn't really sure if she liked eggs, but she wasn't about to say no. Even though Erin and Jay were so nice, she worried that making them mad would result in her getting sent back to that house.

Hank thought for a moment. "How would you like to come help me with the omelets?" Her eyes lit up and she looked over at Jay excitedly and then over to Erin.

"Go for it, Squirt," Jay told her. Hank boosted the little girl up so she was sitting on the counter and handed her a whisk.

"Okay, so you're going to scramble the eggs. I'll break them in this bowl, and then you stir them up, like this," Hank acted out the scrambling motion, "Got it?"

"Yes," Kate replied, looking over Hank's shoulder at Erin and Jay who were seated at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Hank cracked a few eggs in the bowl and Kate stirred gently.

"You can give it a little more force than that," Hank instructed, covering her little hand with his and showing her proper whisking technique, "Good job!"

Kate smiled brightly at him. "Now what?"

"Now, we make sure the pan has some butter in it and put the bacon bits in with the onion and peppers." Hank tossed the ingredients in the pan and let them sizzle. "And now, we pour in the eggs." He helped her pour the beaten eggs into the pan. "You are an excellent chef."

"Jay taught me to make pancakes," Kate informed him, "with chocolate chips."

"Wow." Hank smiled, "Good thing Erin didn't teach you, she may have burned the place down."

"I would not!" Erin exclaimed indignantly, "I can cook without setting the kitchen on fire."

"Oh please," Hank and Jay said simultaneously. Erin folded her arms and sat back in her chair with a huff.

After breakfast, Hank offered to show Kate the old swing in the backyard and the two detectives were tasked with cleaning up the kitchen. They had been surprised that Kate took him up on his offer and were even more surprised by the squeals of joy that they heard from the garden. "Hank Voight, good with children," Jay mused, staring out the window at Voight pushing Kate on the swing.

"I know, it's hard to believe, but when you see it…" Erin trailed off, watching Hank scoop Kate up into his arms and carry her toward the house, both grinning widely. "Having fun?" she asked as Hank pulled open the back door and set the little girl down. Kate's cheeks were rosy from the summer breeze and wisps of her hair escaped the ponytail.

Kate nodded fervently, as Erin smoothed her hair back, "Erin, Sergeant Voight said we could play a game!"

"Did he now?" Erin smiled, "And what game might that be?"

"Um, snakes and ladders. But the snakes aren't real," Kate explained, as the snakes being real had been a major concern for her. She scurried after Voight, who was headed to the living room, Erin and Jay behind her.

"We haven't played this since Justin was a kid," Hank said, pulling out an old board game from the living room cupboard and setting it on the coffee table. "You still remember how to play?" He looked at Erin.

"It was the first game we played my first family game night." Erin recalled, settling down on the couch while Jay sat rigidly in an arm chair. Kate sat in between Voight and Erin on the couch, learning how to play.

After one game, Kate fell asleep in Hank's lap. He had offered to help her after watching her struggle to reach her piece, and the warmth of his embrace lulled her into a light slumber. "You're amazing with her," Erin told him, leaning against the arm of the couch and watching the man who had taken her in hold the little girl that she had taken in.

"She's a helluva fighter," Hank murmured, gently stroking Kate's thin arm, "Poor kid's been through hell."

"So Sarge, we've been looking at a few different preschools for Kate, but the first one that we can get her into says the earliest she can start is next Monday for their summer session," Jay paused, looking to Erin for backup.

"And we're not sure a babysitter would be such a great idea given everything she's gone through and that she's finally trusting us and-"

"Say no more," Hank raised a hand, "She's technically still in protective custody since those bastards are still out there. If you want to stay home with her, bring her to work with you, whatever, it's fine by me."

"We could bring her with us to the district." Erin turned to Jay, "She'd be safe there. And she obviously loves Hank…" She looked up at Hank. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Hank nodded, "Halstead, I know this kid was just sprung on you but what the two of you are doing for her is incredible. Little girl told me all about how great you two are and watching the three of you…" Hank trailed off and swallowed thickly, "You've got a good thing going."

Erin beamed and blinked back tears, "Thanks Hank."

"Anything for you kid," he replied.

"Yeah, thank you so much Sarge. I can't tell you how much it means to see Kate trust you." Jay piped up.

Hank waved his hand dismissively. "Jay, outside of work, you can call me Hank."

Kate awoke, still snuggled in Hank's lap, to the chuckling of her father. Hank was telling a story about Erin growing up and how Camille used to try to get Erin to dress more appropriately. "Hey Squirt, did you have a nice nap?" Jay asked, smiling at the sleepy little girl. She nodded and looked up at Hank.

"All that cooking tired you out, huh?" Hank tapped her on the nose and Kate giggled.

"So Kate, how would you like to go to the park and see the ducks? Maybe we could feed them?" Erin offered, eyes twinkling knowingly.

"Really?" Kate exclaimed, looking from Jay to Erin excitedly, "We could _feed_ them?"

"Mm-hm," Erin nodded, "You want to join us, Hank?"

"I wish I could, but I have a meeting down at the club," Hank checked his watch, "In a few minutes actually."

"You don't like ducks, Sergeant Voight?" Kate asked, appearing saddened that her new friend would not be joining them.

"Oh, no I do like the ducks," Hank reassured her, "But how about you and I go this week when Erin and Jay are working, huh?"

"But don't you have work too?" Kate probed. Erin raised her eyebrows at Hank, as if to say, _I told you she was brilliant_.

"That's the best part about being the boss," Hank said, without missing a beat, "because I get to make the rules."

* * *

Kate's excitement was palpable as they arrived at the park. Since it was a nice summer Sunday, there were a lot of people around that made the little girl quite nervous. She held tightly around Jay's neck while Erin purchased the duck food, glancing around anxiously at all the people passing by. "Look, Kate, there are the ducks." Jay pointed to the pond where a few ducks had gathered. "Do you want to go a bit closer?" She nodded and Jay made his way to the water's edge, pointing out the various birds.

Erin returned with the bag of feed and offered it to Jay. He reached into the bag and threw a few kernels into the pond, the ducks quickly swarming.

"Ah!" Kate laughed, watching as the ducks quacked and swam around, looking for more. "Can I get down?" Jay set her on the path and Erin opened the bag so Kate could get a handful.

"Okay, toss it into the water, just like Jay did," Erin instructed. Kate carefully pulled out some corn and tossed it into the pond, mesmerized by the birds. "Be careful, okay? I don't want you to slip in." She heeded Erin's words and took a step back from the edge.

After the first handful, Kate was a huge fan of feeding the ducks. She tossed the corn into the pond and squealed in delight every time a duck gobbled up the treat. "Do you like the ducks, Squirt?" Jay asked knowingly, amused by how enthralled she was with the creatures.

Kate nodded enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear. "Yes! They are so cute in real life!" She tossed another handful of duck feed into the pond and pointed to the small crowd of mallards that gathered. "Look, Erin!" Kate giggled, "They're eating the food!"

Erin grinned at Jay, just as thrilled with how happy the little girl was. "I see baby. You're doing a great job feeding them." Kate reached into the bag and pulled out the last handful of grain. A large goose was sitting in the grass a few yards over from them. Kate took a few steps toward him and squatted on the ground, sprinkling the remaining kernels in the grass. She turned around and looked up at Jay.

"All done." Kate showed him her empty hands, "I had to give some to Mr. Goose. I didn't want him to be hungry."

"That was very kind of you to do, Squirt." Jay scooped her up and kissed her cheek. "Do you want to help me with dinner tonight?"

Kate nodded excitedly before turning to Erin. "You know what?" she asked, looking back at the goose and then to Erin again as they headed out of the park.

"What's that?" Erin replied, smiling up at the joyful little girl.

"Mr. Goose reminds me of someone." Kate looked playfully over to Erin, one arm wrapped around Jay's neck.

"And who does he remind you of?" Erin asked, "I hope it's not me."

"No!" Kate lowered her voice, "He reminds me of Sergeant Voight." Erin stopped, turned around to look at the goose and burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh, he does look kind of like Voight!" Erin exclaimed, pointing at the bird and laughing again. Jay was chuckling as well, completely surprised by the goofy nature of his little girl.

"You're funny, you know that?" Jay said, poking the little girl in the ribs. She shrieked with laughter, holding tighter to Jay's neck so she didn't fall off.

* * *

"Kate, you remember Sergeant Platt, right?" Erin asked, holding the little girl in her arms as she and Jay entered the 21st District. It was Erin and Jay's first day back at work since adding Kate to their lives and the morning had been quite hectic. Kate had spent the night in their bed after a horrific nightmare that required both Jay and Erin to coax the little girl out of the closet and agree to try to sleep. By the time everything had settled down, the detectives only managed a few hours of sleep before they had to be at the district. Attempting to bring everything Kate may need for the day proved a challenge for the new parents, both finding themselves exhausted before their day even really began.

"Hey there, Kate." Sergeant Platt waved and received a smile in response.

"We're gonna see Sergeant Voight?" Kate asked, nearly jumping out of her skin at the buzzer when the cage to upstairs opened.

Jay nodded. "Yep. And that's just the buzzer that makes sure nobody else can get upstairs."

"Welcome back, guys." Dawson looked up from the report he was working on and smiled at the little girl, "Hi Kate."

Kate waved as Erin carried her through the bullpen and over to her desk. "Okay baby, so remember what we talked about last night? Jay and I are going to set you up in the break room over there," she pointed to the room where Adam was filling a mug of coffee, "And we'll be right out here. And you can come get us if you need anything, okay?"

She nodded as Erin took her coat off and draped it over her chair. "And I'm safe here?" Kate asked, glancing nervously around at the office.

"Yes you are." Kate spun around to find the owner of the gruff voice that spoke.

"Sergeant Voight!" she exclaimed, reaching her arms up to give the man a hug. He picked up the little girl and set her on his hip, much to the surprise of Dawson, Atwater and Ruzek.

"The kid's terrified of men but she picks _Voight_ of all people to trust?" Ruzek asked Halstead, looking over at the grumpy sergeant interacting with the small child.

Jay shrugged, "As long as she feels safe, that's all that matters to me." He glanced over at Erin, who was watching Kate tell Hank about their trip to the duck pond.

"And Erin and Jay let me _feed_ the ducks," Kate explained, "And there was a goose."

"Wow, you had quite the adventure then, huh?" Voight said and Kate nodded seriously.

"Sarge, we were going to get Kate set up in the breakroom before catching up on what we missed." Jay picked up a bag they had brought full of crayons, coloring sheets and books.

"Sounds good," Hank nodded, "And you don't have to worry about any of these guys. They won't do anything to harm you, I promise. They're here to protect this city and everyone in it, and that includes you," He tapped the little girl on the nose, "Plus, they all work for me."

"Because you're the boss." Kate replied, looking less nervous than she did previously.

"That's right, I am the boss." Hank carried her into the breakroom and set her in a chair behind the table.

"Okay, Squirt, so Uncle Will bought all kinds of fun stuff for you to do while Erin and I are working," Jay pulled out the various craft supplies and a stack of books out of the bag, setting them on the table, "And the you can see us through the door."

She nodded and looked up at Jay and then to Erin, "I can draw pictures?"

"Mm-hm," Erin affirmed, sitting down next to the little girl. "So if Jay and I get a call, we may have to leave the office to go find some bad guys. But you'll be safe here and we'll always be right back." Her eyes widened, taking in the information Erin was telling her.

"And if we do, Sergeant Platt or our friend Officer Burgess may come up to play with you for a bit," Jay exchanged looks with Erin, as the little girl appeared to be getting more and more anxious as the conversation went on, "But I promise everyone in this building is here to protect you and make sure that you're safe, okay?"

Kate nodded slowly, appearing to blink back tears, "And what about you?" she asked, looking at Erin and Jay, "Who's gonna keep you safe?"

Erin felt her heart melt, "Oh baby, don't you worry about us. Jay and I have each other and a whole team of people, including Sergeant Voight, making sure that we're safe, okay?"

"And we'll be in and out of this room all day, because that's where the coffee is," Jay told her, "And Voight is right next door."

Kate sighed, relaxing in her seat, "And you'll come back for me, right?"

Jay kissed the top of her head, "Absolutely."

Almost immediately after getting settled, Intelligence caught a crime scene downtown. Sergeant Platt and Kate spent the day together, coloring pictures, reading stories and taking trips all around the building. Kate steadily warmed up to the older woman as the day wore on, and by the time Lindsay and Halstead returned from the field, Kate was sitting in Platt's lap listening to her read from one of the picture books. "Hi Kate." Erin poked her head into the breakroom and smiled at the little girl, "Did you have a good day?"

"Erin!" Kate exclaimed, jumping off Platt's lap and practically catapulting herself into Erin's outstretched arms. She wrapped her thin arms around her neck and held tightly, "I'm so glad you came back."

"Of course I came back silly." Erin kissed Kate's cheek, "What did you and Sergeant Platt do today?"

"She's the nicest," Kate informed Erin, "We played games and colored and read books. And we had sam-wichs for lunch and _apples_!" Platt nodded along as Kate spoke, unable to keep the smile off her face.

"Did you know this one could read?" Trudy gave Kate's shoulder a tickle, causing the little girl to giggle. "She's really smart."

Erin shook her head and mouthed 'Wow' to the Sergeant, "Hey, baby, do you want to wait for Jay at my desk? I think he's coming up the steps any second now." Kate nodded enthusiastically and headed into the bullpen cautiously.

"She can actually read?" Erin turned and asked her sergeant, still in disbelief.

"Mm-hm. Reads at like the same level as boy-wonder over there," Platt jerked her thumb toward Adam, who was returning his mug to the sink.

"Hey!" he exclaimed, "C'mon sarge, why you gotta be like that?"

Erin chuckled. "Wow. I mean, we knew she was smart and that she could write her name, but she can read?"

"She's quite remarkable," Trudy smiled wistfully, "I mean, it took an hour or so but she told me about you and Halstead and Voight and feeding the ducks…I guess what I'm saying is that I'm proud of you, Erin."

Erin beamed, "Thank you Sarge. And thank you for taking time out of your day to be with her, I really appreciate it." She glanced out of the doorway to see Kate watching the steps intently, waiting for Jay.

Jay tromped up the stairs, exhausted after a long day of work with very little sleep. He and Atwater had placed one of the offenders in custody and were thankfully done for the night. "Nice job today, man," Dawson said as Jay emerged in the bullpen.

"Thanks, you too," he replied, breaking out into a smile when he saw his little girl excitedly waiting for him, "Hey Squirt."

"Jay!" Kate shouted happily, running toward her father as fast as her short legs would carry her. He scooped her up in his arms, holding her tight against his tired body. "I missed you!"

Jay's heart swelled at the greeting, "Not as much as I missed you." He poked her in the ribs and she shrieked with laughter. "Did you have a good day?"

"Uh-huh! Sergeant Platt and I colored and read books all day. And we had apples!" Kate hugged him tighter and whispered in his ear, "Did you get the bad guys?"

"Mm, yes we did." Jay rested his cheek against his little girl's head, inhaling the soothing scent of her shampoo. "Do you like pizza? I was thinking we could have it for dinner."

Kate pulled back and looked at him quizzically, "I can have some?"

"Of course," Jay tickled her, "You can have whatever you like."

She raised her eyebrows mischievously, "Even bananas for dinner?"

Jay chuckled, "Well, you might want to save those for breakfast, but I think Erin picked up some strawberries for dessert, how does that sound?"

"Yes!" Kate squealed, hugging her father again.

"Alrighty, let's get Erin and head home."


	7. Chapter 7

**It's Saturday night where I am and I'm a little drunk so hi enjoy. Hope you like it xo**

 **Trigger warning for mentions of child abuse**

The first week of having Kate in their lives flew by for Erin and Jay. Every day the little girl became more and more comfortable with the couple, tensing up less and even sharing bits and pieces of her past in passing. They learned that she spent most of her time alone when she wasn't forced to interact with the men who held her captive, and that she taught herself how to write after one Paul Jackson's regular prostitutes taught her to read. While her nightmares persisted, calming her down was easier. Kate was still reluctant to spend time away from Erin and Jay, but was comfortable with Voight, Platt and even Will.

Erin and Jay took the Thursday off to show Susan Perkins their home, confirming the woman's suspicions that Kate was incredibly safe in their care. The family then ventured to the preschool where Kate was introduced to Miss Carlson and the ten other four year olds who were going to be in her class. It had gone surprisingly well, Kate even cautiously interacting with one of the other little girls named Tara. The only setback was that preschool ended at 3:30 and the detectives never got out of work before five, and most days it was even later. Sergeant Platt offered to fill that void and bring Kate back to the district until they figured out a more permanent nanny or babysitter situation.

The outpouring of support from their friends and colleagues was a welcome surprise to Erin and Jay. Will visited twice and spent the night on the couch due to his dissolving relationship with Nina. He brought "Make Way for the Ducklings" along with him, which quickly became Kate's favorite book. Will started calling the little girl "Goosey" as a nickname, earning delighted giggles every time he saw her.

On the first day of Kate going to summer preschool, Erin and Jay were arguably even more nervous than she was. "Did you sleep at all last night?" Erin hissed as Jay yawned for the third time in as many minutes. He was leaning against the countertop, clasping a mug of coffee like it was his lifeline.

He shook his head and turned to her, "Did you?" Erin shook her head, accepting the mug from him and greedily drinking, "God, why are we nervous? I feel like that fish from the movie we watched on Friday."

"Finding Nemo?" Erin looked up at him, eyebrows raised. He nodded, pouring more coffee into another mug and wincing as he gulped down the hot liquid. "We gotta get going. Don't want to be late for her first day."

Jay nodded again, setting the mug in the sink. "Okay, Squirt, you ready to go?"

Kate emerged from the bathroom, wearing the same nervous expression that Jay did. Erin could have laughed at their similarities had she not been so anxious herself. "Are you excited?" Erin asked, forcing a big smile before putting a lunchbox in Kate's backpack.

The little girl nodded slowly, still not convinced that this whole pre-school thing was a good idea. She accepted a boost into Jay's arms and held her father tightly. "School's going to be so fun, Squirt." Jay reassured her, mostly for his daughter but also for himself and Erin, "And then Sergeant Platt is going to pick you up and bring you to the district to see me and Erin!"

"And I still come home with you?" Kate asked, looking for confirmation that she wasn't going to be abandoned.

"Yep. After Jay and I finish up at work, we'll all go home and have dinner, how does that sound?" Erin flashed a smile as Jay carried Kate down the hallway to the elevator. "And I packed you an extra special lunch for your first day."

Kate smiled for the first time that morning, "Strawberries?"

"Maybe." Erin winked, unlocking the car so Jay could get Kate into her car seat, "Jay, you have the backpack, right?"

"Yep." Jay put Kate's new light green backpack on the backseat next to the little girl. "We got the lunchbox, backpack, keys, wallet." He kissed Kate's forehead before gently closing the door and sliding into the passenger seat. "We are good to go."

* * *

Kate had come to live with them the first week of July. Five weeks later, she had made remarkable progress in her ability to trust Jay and Erin and meet new people. She was doing well in preschool, impressing the teachers with her ability to read and write far beyond what any typical four year old was capable of. Kate had even made friends with some of the children in her class and was becoming increasingly less nervous every day at drop off.

Erin was woken up by muffled noises echoing around the apartment. She opened her eyes to find Jay's side of the bed un slept in and cold. Erin sat up quickly but relaxed when she remembered that Jay had gone out for drinks with Antonio following his promotion, and that she and Kate had gone home and gone to bed early. Before turning over to fall back asleep, she heard it again. It was a whimper coming from the baby monitor on Jay's bedside table.

Quickly, Erin shed the covers and quietly padded into Kate's bedroom. The streetlamp softly illuminated the bedroom so that Erin could see her little girl. Kate was gripped by a nightmare, tossing and turning, occasionally letting a plaintive whimper escape her small lips. Her delicate features were screwed in anguish and her forehead was lined with sweat.

"Kate, baby," Erin sat down on the bed and gently shook the child's shoulder. The only aspect that hadn't changed in the five weeks Jay and Erin had Kate was the horrific nightmares she endured. Most nights had at least one, sometimes two, and Kate spent a few nights a week in the detectives' bed when she was too inconsolable to go to sleep alone. "Wake up, sweetheart, it's just a bad dream."

The little girl yelped in her sleep, abruptly pulling herself from the nightmare. Her eyes snapped open and she scrambled to the far corner of her bed, as far away from Erin as possible. "Hey, hey, it's just me." Erin comforted, tenderly touching Kate's knee. "You're okay. It was just a dream."

Kate's rapid breathing intensified until her wild eyes found Erin's. In an instant, Kate was in the young woman's arms. Her small frame shook as she clung onto Erin's neck for dear life, burying her face in her shoulder as sobs wracked her tiny body. "Oh baby." Erin cooed, rocking back and forth soothingly, "It's okay. I got you."

For a small person, Kate had a strong grip. She tightened her hold around Erin, tears leaking onto Jay's t shirt that Erin had worn to bed. Kate shuddered and whimpered again, attempting with all her might to press herself into Erin's figure. They sat on the bed in silence, Erin listening to Kate's harsh gasps as Kate slowly relaxed to the sound of Erin's steady heartbeat soothing her. When the little girl's breathing finally evened out, Erin carefully loosened Kate's grip. "No, no," Kate sniffed tearfully, clinging to Erin even tighter than before, "Please, no."

Erin sighed. The terrible nightmares the poor little girl was forced to endure always made Erin want to burst into tears and hold the child tight to take all the pain away. "I'm not leaving baby. Can I bring you to my bed?"

Kate shook her head violently. "I don't wanna sleep," she whispered, "I don't wanna sleep."

"Alright then, maybe can we go sit on the couch? Wait for Jay to come home, hmm? He should be back any minute now." Erin felt the child nod and carried her to the living room couch. She settled herself down, Kate snuggling into Erin's chest, clutching desperately at her pajama top.

Less than five minutes after sitting on the couch, the lock turned in the deadbolt and Jay entered the foyer. He was visibly exhausted, rubbing his eyes and moving slowly. He jumped when he caught sight of Erin and Kate on the couch. "Hi," he said, surprised, "What are you two doing up?"

"Bad dream." Erin murmured, lethargically running her fingers through Kate's hair. She turned her head to see her partner. "How's Antonio?"

He offered a smile. "He's alright." Jay made his way over to the couch and sunk next to his family.

Kate picked her head up from Erin's chest. "Hi Jay." she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

Jay managed a smile and ghosted his hand over his daughter's head. "Hi Squirt. Did you have a bad dream?"

"Uh huh," Kate breathed, relaxing into his touch. "I don't want to go to sleep."

"I understand that. But you seem really sleepy." He turned to his partner, who appeared equally as exhausted. "You didn't want to go to bed either?"

Erin leaned in next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I had a feeling you'd be home soon."

He pressed a kiss into the side of her head. "Well I'm here now. How about we all get some sleep before we have to get up again, eh?"

Erin nodded and attempted to rise. "Noooooo." Kate whimpered, tears making a reappearance down her pale cheeks.

"It's alright, baby. We'll wake you up if you start to have another nightmare, okay?" Erin stood and headed for Kate's bedroom.

"I want to be with you and Jay." The little girl whispered, swallowing another round of sobs.

"Shh, baby, I know. I was just getting tiger for you to snuggle with." Erin plucked the stuffed animal from the tangled bed sheets and handed it to the distressed child. "You're going to sleep with me and Jay, okay?"

Kate relaxed and allowed her body to slowly fall asleep. "I love you and Jay." she whispered as Erin set her on their bed. Erin looked over at Jay, tears shining in her eyes. She loved the little girl the moment she brought her home, and was so glad that Kate felt the same way. Jay and Erin had been telling Kate they loved her every night before bed, but Kate had yet to say it back or by herself.

"We love you too." Erin kissed her forehead before climbing into bed herself, wrapping one arm around Kate, keeping her close.

"We love you so much." Jay emphasized, leaning over to kiss Erin's lips, Kate's forehead and Erin's head before settling down. "We are just so glad you're ours."

* * *

"It is _so hot._ " Erin panted, greedily gulping down the tall glass of water that Jay slid across the counter to her. She made the mistake of going for a run outside during the first week of August, when Chicago was arguably at its hottest. Despite going to bed late, Erin had risen earlier than normal for a Saturday, attributing the great night sleep she had to the little body that was nestled between her and Jay. Kate _loved_ her, and Erin was absolutely over the moon. In five short weeks, Erin Lindsay had become a mother, a role she had never thought she could step into.

Jay had placed Kate on the countertop and was instructing her on how to make sandwiches. Erin grinned at the domestic scene in front of her, Jay carefully helping the little girl spread mustard on the bread and delicately place slices of cheese, tomato and turkey atop a bed of lettuce. "Little early for turkey sandwiches, isn't it?" Erin asked, wiping her arm across her sweaty forehead, "It's like, nine in the morning."

"We decided that we're going swimming today. Kate and I are packing a picnic." Jay flashed a cheeky smile at his girl, "Since it's boiling outside, I thought a trip to the pool might be fun." He ran a hand over Kate's head, "And we're going to teach Kate how to swim."

Erin nodded slowly, a smile spreading across her lips. "Okay then. Anything to get me in a bikini, huh, Halstead?"

"Please, babe, you know you want to see me in a speedo." Jay winked as a blush darkened Erin's already flushed cheeks. He turned back to his daughter, switching to what Erin had dubbed 'Daddy-mode'. "Okay, Squirt, excellent job with the sandwiches. Do you want to get changed into the bathing suit we bought a few weeks ago? I think it's in your dresser in the bottom drawer."

Kate nodded, appearing nervous all of a sudden. "I-I don't know how to put it on." She looked down at her hands, almost in shame, "I never been swimming before."

Erin felt her heart clench in her chest and swooped in, "Well, we are going to have to change that, aren't we?" She lifted the little girl and placed her on the ground, extending a sweaty palm, "How about I help you change, and then you can help Jay put the goldfish and apple slices into the picnic? Make sure he doesn't sneak any, hm?"

* * *

The pool was crowded on the Saturday morning, every family in Chicago seeming to have the same idea of how to beat the heat. Kate clutched Erin's hand tightly as they set their bags and towels down, glancing anxiously at all the people. "Don't worry, Squirt, this is going to fun." Jay reassured her, pulling a bottle of sunscreen out of the bag. He held it out to Erin.

"What's that?" Kate asked, alarmed. She recoiled at the sight of the bottle, unsure of what its contents held.

"This is sunscreen. You put it on your body so you don't get all red and burned from the sun." Erin informed her, pulling her t shirt over her head and tossing it into the grass, revealing a navy blue bikini top. "Look, I'll show you. Jay, put some sunscreen on my back, would you?"

"Mm." Jay replied, squirting the white substance into the palm of his hand and rubbing his hands together before spreading it across his girlfriend's shoulders. "See, Squirt? Nothing to be afraid of." He toyed with the clasp on Erin's back, earning a flick to the chest.

"Okay, Halstead, enough fun for you. Take your shirt off and turn around." Erin snatched the bottle from Jay's slippery hands and spread sunscreen across her boyfriend's back, sure to linger above the waistband of his board shorts. "Ready, baby?" she asked the little girl, who relaxed at watching both Erin and Jay brave the sunscreen. She winked at Jay, who threw his head back in frustration.

Kate held up her arms and allowed Erin to remove the sundress she was wearing. They had picked out an adorable little one piece for Kate a few weeks back, a pink and white polka-dot suit with tiny bows on the shoulders.

Jay leapt into the water with a splash, sending a spray of pool water all over Kate and Erin who were standing on the edge. Kate held stringently to Erin's hand, still nervously taking in her surroundings. There were lots of kids running around and jumping into the cool water, shrieks of delight heard from across the pool. "He's silly, isn't he?" Erin asked, watching as Jay came up for air and shook his head. Kate nodded, not taking her eyes of her father.

"Do you want to come in Squirt? The water's really nice." Jay gave the water a pat, sending more droplets toward his girls. He stood in the shallow end of the pool, arms outstretched with wide grin spread across his face.

Kate looked at him uncertainly and shook her head. "I-I changed my mind. I don't want to learn how to swim." Jay and Erin exchanged looks, unsure if pushing the little girl or allowing her to sit out would be the best course of action.

"Aw, come on now. You know you want to learn." He gave Erin a little splash. "I'm right here. Nothing's going to happen while I'm here. I promise." Jay smirked at his girlfriend, "Erin likes to swim too. Come on in, babe."

"It's okay, look, baby." Erin released Kate's hand and carefully slid into the water. She smiled up at the little girl, trying to convey how fun swimming was. "It's so refreshing."

"You won't let me get hurt?" Kate asked, taking a step closer to the edge.

"Nope!" Jay approached the side of the pool. "Erin and I are right here. You don't even have to jump in. Just hold tight to me, okay?"

Reluctantly, Kate managed a nod and wrapped her arms around Jay's neck. He lowered himself gently into the water, allowing it to wash over the little girl. "See, it's not so bad."

Kate let out a giggle, earning huge smiles from both Erin and Jay. "It's so cold!" She squealed, shivering slightly. "It feels good."

"You like it, baby?" Erin was in awe of Jay's ability to convince Kate to try new things. She thought that the little girl would back away, but Jay's insistence that she would be safe seemed to resonate. Kate nodded eagerly.

"Do you want to try swimming?" Jay asked, bouncing slightly in the water, Kate still in his arms. "It's really fun."

"You won't let me drown?" Kate replied, glancing up at her father's joyous expression. He shook his head. "You're not lying?"

"Of course I'm not lying!" Jay exclaimed, dipping lower into the water. "I'll be right here, and Erin is here too."

Kate let out a breath. "Okay, now what?"

Jay grinned. "Alright, now you're going to lie flat in the water on your back. I'll have my hand underneath you."

Kate did as he instructed. "Great job kiddo! Okay, I'm going to let go now, but I'm right here. Just push your tummy out, so you're floating. There you go, great job. Okay, here we go!" Jay took his hand away, keeping it inches from the little girl. "You're doing amazing, Squirt! You're floating!"

She smiled and reached out for Jay's hand. He pulled her back in and she held tightly. "I did it."

"You did!" Erin exclaimed, "We're so proud of you, baby."

"Do you want to try kicking your legs?" Jay asked, "It's just like floating, only you move." Kate looked skeptical but nodded. He placed her on her back, allowing the little girl to kick her legs.

"Awesome!" Jay clapped his hands as Erin scooped her up, "You're a natural, Squirt."

Kate blushed and looked up at Erin. "Now on my tummy?" The detectives exchanged glances, surprised that Kate was willing to continue.

"Sure! Are you okay with putting your face in the water and blowing bubbles out of your nose?" Jay demonstrated the action, "It's pretty easy."

"I can do that." Kate mimicked Jay, sticking her face into the pool. "I've done it before."

"Oh yeah?" Erin gave the little girl's tummy a tickle, "I thought you said you had never been swimming before."

"It's my first day," Kate told her, reaching up to wipe water droplet's off Erin's forehead, "But I used to practice blowin' bubbles and holding my breath in the bath because sometimes they'd hold me down there," Kate shrugged nonchalantly, "That's how come I know."

Jay felt his blood run cold at Kate's anecdote. "Uh, well, we're not going to hold your head under water, okay kiddo?" He swallowed thickly, "So it's not going to be scary."

"I know!" Kate smiled brightly, "I trust you."

"Ready?" Erin cleared her throat and finally found her voice, willing the tears that welled up in her eyes to abate, "You want to try to kick to Jay?" Kate nodded enthusiastically and put her face into the pool and kicked her legs, propelling her little body toward her father.

"Wow!" Jay brushed wet hair off Kate's face, "That was incredible!"

After just two hours in the pool, Kate had effectively learned to swim. She swam back and forth between Erin and Jay over and over again, impressing them to no end. While she wasn't ready to jump into the pool on her own, she squealed with delight as Jay tossed her in the air and caught her in his arms. When Erin finally convinced them to get out of the pool for lunch, Kate immediately fell asleep in her arms, cocooned in a beach towel. "This was an amazing idea." Erin said to Jay, who was lying flat on his back in the shade. He turned his head to face his girls, Erin resting against the beach bags with Kate snuggled against her chest, sleeping soundly despite all the other pool-goers around them.

"She was amazing. Who woulda thought she'd pick up swimming in less than two hours?" Jay propped himself up on his elbows, "And now we know why she was so afraid of the bath, for good reason."

Erin nodded in agreement, "She's a remarkable little person."


	8. Chapter 8

**I am wildly hungover so I am attempting to create some good karma by uploading this early.**

 **Trigger warning for mentions of child abuse**

After eight weeks with Kate in their lives, Jay and Erin had fallen into a domestic routine that neither of them had ever dreamed would be theirs. The little girl was growing more comfortable by the day and introducing Jay and Erin to her thoughtful, inquisitive and brave personality. Kate had a funny streak as well, often making silly comments and giggling relentlessly whenever Jay or Erin teased each other.

Summer passed quickly between the escalating murder rate and long days at the district. Kate, who had spent the majority of her life in isolation, adored spending time with Platt or Voight after preschool when Erin and Jay were out in the field. When Intelligence was needed on the weekends, Platt came in just to spend time with Kate, even taking the little girl with her to do her weekend chores. However, most weekends were spent as a family, venturing to the pool, the zoo or other scenic spots in Chicago where Kate had never been.

Kate loved being a little helper. Her favorite days involved family trips to the grocery store and helping Jay cook dinner. She was finally filling out, her ribs less visible and her face looking much less haunted. Somehow, it became part of the routine to have breakfast at Voight's house on Sundays. Hank and Kate were special friends and he treated her like his own grandchild. He had even spent the day with her so that Erin and Jay could "get some work done", but really, he was just allowing his almost-daughter to spend her Sunday with her boyfriend.

While she had made a lot of progress in two months, Kate was continually plagued by horrific nightmares that sent Jay or Erin running into her bedroom at all hours of the night. She spent a few nights a week in bed with Erin and Jay, too terrified to fall asleep by herself. Sessions with Dr. Handel were helping them to understand what Kate was afraid of exactly, but Jay was convinced that until her offenders were caught, Kate would not sleep soundly.

Their weekday morning routine was simple and easy. While Erin got ready, Jay would set Kate up with breakfast and then they would switch so that Erin could help Kate get dressed and out the door. It worked well and was Jay's second favorite part of the day, the first being when Kate greeted him after a long day of work. He loved watching his little girl peacefully eat breakfast, eyes still slightly cloudy with sleep.

"How do you like the new kids in your class, Squirt?" Jay asked, blowing on his hot coffee in an attempt to cool it faster, "Are they nice?"

She nodded, carefully picking up a banana slice and popping it into her mouth. "Miss Carlson said that today we're going to learn about the leaves on the trees because they're gonna change soon."

"Mm-hm, fall in Chicago is really cool with all the different colors." Jay mused, tentatively taking a sip. "Maybe we should apple picking one weekend, does that sound like fun?"

"Like take the apples from the trees?" Kate asked, eyes wide, "Like in the books?"

"Yep." Jay grinned, "It's settled then. We should try to go this weekend, before the leaves start changing. Then we could have apples for breakfast too."

Kate nodded eagerly and set her spoon down. "I'm done."

"Awesome," Jay said proudly, glad that she had finished her cereal, fruit and glass of pediatric shake that Dr. Manning had prescribed to help the child start to grow normally. He helped her off the stool, "Gah, you're getting so big!" Kate shrieked with laughter as Jay lifted her into the air.

"All yours babe." Erin entered the kitchen, hair tied back in a loose pony tail. "Nice job on breakfast, Kate."

"I'll be quick." Jay leaned in to kiss Erin's cheek, but she pulled away.

"Ew, your breath stinks, Halstead." Erin told him jokingly, poking his chest with a finger, "And I'm so nice and clean."

"Mmm." Jay responded, sneaking around her other side and kissing the opposite cheek, earning a giggle from Kate.

"It's going to be a little windy today, so I think we should wear something a bit warmer." Erin informed the little girl as she led her to the bedroom. She pulled open the closet, "Do you know what you want to wear today?"

Kate shook her head. She was not used to getting to pick out what she was going to wear, let alone having choices of any kind. Erin and Jay, on the advice of Dr. Handel, had been slowly encouraging Kate to pick out books, movies and what she wanted to wear. "How about this?" Erin held out a jean jacket and Kate nodded eagerly.

"And this?" Kate gestured to a purple t shirt with fish on it.

"Great choice." Erin grinned, helping the little girl get ready. She brushed her hair and clipped it back so it wouldn't get in her face.

"Shoes?" Kate asked knowingly. Jay and Erin attempted to create as much of a schedule as possible, and Kate knew that after getting dressed came shoes, then coat and out the door.

"Mm-hm." Erin nodded as a sharp knock came at the door. Kate jumped, instinctively moving closer to Erin. "It's early." She muttered to herself, scooping Kate up and heading for the door.

"Who is it?" Kate asked worriedly, tightly gripping Erin's short sleeve shirt.

"Not sure baby." Erin pulled open the apartment door, revealing Bunny Fletcher. "What are you doing here?"

Kate inhaled sharply as she regarded the woman standing in the doorway. She recognized her from her time with Paul Jackson, since Bunny came by now and again to pick up some product to sell with her boyfriend. She had been in the house once when Kate was hit by 'Uncle Bobby' but had never acknowledged the little girl's presence. Kate began to panic, realizing that if Bunny knew where she was, she may be trying to bring her back to Jackson. "What? A mother can't stop by to visit her daughter? I haven't seen you in _months_ , Erin." Bunny asked, taking note of the child in her daughter's arms, "And who is this?"

"This is Kate," Erin adjusted the little girl on her hip, acutely aware of how fast Kate's heart was beating, "And a lot has changed in those months. You can't just show up here, unannounced."

Bunny rolled her eyes. "Well, are you going to let me in?" Kate's eyes widened as she recalled the woman's relationship to her abusers. She knew that Erin had a mom, but she didn't know that _this_ woman was her mother. A small whimper escaped her lips as Bunny made eye contact. Kate held tighter to Erin, becoming increasingly fearful that this woman was here to take her away. "Hi there, sweetie, I'm-"

"The bunny." Kate whispered, tears filling her eyes as she realized what was going to happen. Erin looked at her mother quizzically. She and Jay hadn't told Kate who Erin's mother was, only that they didn't see her often. And Erin had hardly thought about her mother the past two months, let alone mention her name.

Bunny chuckled, "I guess you've heard about me, huh?" She smiled widely, taking in the appearance of the little girl, vaguely recognizing her. Kate's wet hazel eyes pierced Bunny's and in an instant, the woman realized that she knew the child in her daughter's arms.

Kate shook her head, her body beginning to tremble in fear. "Please d-don't take me back," she whimpered as Erin continued to regard Bunny suspiciously. The older woman shifted backwards, forcing a smile.

"Mom? What is she talking about?" Erin asked firmly, dread filling her stomach. She held tighter to the little girl.

"I have no idea," Bunny replied indignantly, "I didn't even know you raising a child." She took a step closer to Erin, sending Kate into a full-blown panic. Kate squeaked loudly and wriggled out of Erin's grip, catching Erin by surprise. She fell to the floor and scrambled up quickly, running away from Bunny as fast as she could.

"Do you know her?" Erin asked, more forcefully, "Because it seems to me like she knows who you are."

"How would I know her?" Bunny insisted, "Oh, hello, Jay." The detective had emerged from the bedroom without a shirt on after hearing the commotion, damp towel still in his hand.

"Bunny? What's going on?" He looked to Erin, "Where's Kate?"

"She freaked out when she saw Bunny," Erin told him, "You need to leave." Erin glared at her mother, "It's not a good time." The woman opened her mouth to protest, but turned on her heel and marched down the hallway.

"What the hell was that?" Jay asked.

"She knows something." Erin replied, heading for Kate's bedroom. "She knows something about Kate, or God forbid maybe she was involved because I have never seen Kate that terrified." Erin cautiously pushed open the bedroom door. "Kate? It's okay."

"Closet." Jay whispered after checking under the bed. Erin nodded and knocked on the closet door.

"Kate, baby, it's just me and Jay. I'm going to open the door, okay?" Erin received a sniffle in response and gently slid open the closet door. Kate was seated on the floor, pressed up against the cloth laundry basket and shelves. She was shaking, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked up at Erin.

Erin sat across from the little girl while Jay took a seat on Kate's bed. "What happened, baby? What's got you so upset?"

"The b-bunny," Kate choked out, burying her face in her knees, "She's going to take me back."

"Take you back where, Squirt?" Jay asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"To Mr. P's house." Kate burst into tears, breaking Erin's heart. Erin and Jay exchanged looks, Kate having just confirmed Erin's suspicions about her mother's inability to stay out of trouble.

"Was Bunny at his house?" Erin asked, tears welling up in her own eyes. Kate lifted her head off her knees and nodded slowly. A tear leaked out of the corner of Erin's eye and she wiped it away quickly. "She is _never_ coming near you again. I promise." Another tear rolled down Erin's cheek. "You're going to be with me and Jay," Erin's voice broke, "and we love you."

Kate threw herself into Erin's arms, wrapping her arms around her neck tightly. Jay sank down next to Erin, placing a comforting hand on Kate's back and pressing a kiss into Erin's hair. The gentle gesture broke the dam, and Erin erupted in tears, holding the little girl as close as possible. "I'm so sorry," Erin wept into Kate's hair, slowly rocking back and forth, "I am so, so, sorry."

"Shh," Jay brought Erin into his embrace, wrapping his strong arms around his girls, "We're okay."

An hour later, both Erin and Kate had finally calmed down. Jay settled the two of them on the couch while he called the preschool to inform the teacher that Kate would be late and texted Hank to let him know they were running behind schedule. "How's she doing?" Jay murmured, crouching down in front of his girls. Kate was still grasping Erin's shirt tightly in her tiny fists and had buried her face in Erin's neck. Jay reached up and wiped Erin's cheek gently with the pad of his thumb. Erin just shook her head.

"How could my _mother_ be involved with those people?" She hissed, tears welling up in her eyes again, "I mean, I know she's a mess but the fact that she knew that they were abusing a _child_ …" Erin trailed off, turning her nose into her little girl's hair in an attempt to ground herself, "I swear to God, if she shows up here again-"

"That's not going to happen, babe." Jay promised, moving from his position on the floor to sitting beside his partner, "When we go by the district I'm going to ping her phone and I'll go talk to her. Bunny's not coming near our kid ever again."

* * *

"Hey, Detective, nice of you to show up." Platt quipped as Jay entered the district. He wordlessly gestured to Erin who was carrying Kate in her arms a few paces behind. The seasoned sergeant instantly ceased her teasing and glanced worriedly at the detectives.

"Rough morning," Jay deadpanned, "To say the least."

Platt's eyes softened. "Anything I can do?"

Erin shook her head as Jay scanned his hand, "Just…Bunny problems. Couldn't even get the shoes on." Platt nodded sympathetically. Normally Kate would wave enthusiastically when she came to the district on mornings when there was no school, but the little girl remained clamped to Erin's side with her face buried in the detective's neck.

The bullpen was eerily quiet as the detectives arrived, all present members of Intelligence busy at their desks, appearing to be working through several piles of paperwork. "How you got out of backlog filing is beyond me," Ruzek remarked, turning to Jay as he made his way to his desk, "I'm going to stab my eyeballs out."

"Quit complaining." Olinsky scolded him, glancing up at Erin, Kate still in her arms. "Tough morning, Lindsay?" She nodded, flicking up the small pair of shoes she had in one hand that Kate refused to put on before leaving the apartment. The older man grimaced in sympathy, "Voight's in his office."

"Hey, kid." Hank greeted, setting his phone down and looking up at his exhausted almost-daughter. "I got Halstead's text. What's going on?"

"Bunny." Erin breathed, taking a seat across from her sergeant. "Bunny happened this morning."

"What's she into this time?" Hank asked dryly, looking up to Jay who entered his office and sank heavily into the chair beside Erin, "She in trouble?"

"She's gonna be." Jay clenched the arms of the wooden chair tightly, "She was involved with Jackson and his crew."

"Is," Erin interjected, "she may still be involved. We don't know how because she denied all of it but Kate saw her before at Jackson's place in Wicker Park."

"She sure?" The little girl remained in Erin's arms, barefoot and shuddering slightly despite having calmed down from her panic attack over an hour ago.

"Kate knew exactly who Bunny was when I opened the door." Erin placed a hand on the back of Kate's head, "And it's not like I have pictures of her around the apartment or on my phone. And I hadn't told Kate about her because I didn't want her anywhere near this kid." She looked to Jay, who nodded in agreement.

"I don't think we ever talked about Bunny around Kate. I mean, she knew that Erin has a mother but the woman is bad news." Jay paused and turned to his daughter. "Kate? Do you think you could tell Sergeant Voight how you knew who that woman was?"

The little girl slowly lifted her head off Erin's shoulder and turned to face Hank. Dried tear tracks ran down her cheeks as she took a shaky breath. "The bunny used to come to Mr. P's house. B-but I didn't know she was Erin's _mommy._ " Kate looked up at Erin and then over to Jay. "I thought mommies were supposed to be good."

"They are, kiddo." Jay said sadly, raising his eyebrows at Hank. "Did Bunny ever see you at Mr. P's house?"

Kate nodded slowly. "Um, she only came sometimes and Big Joe would give her some of the grown-up candies. I was supposed to stay in my room but I had to go to the bathroom and the Bunny saw me but then Uncle Bobby hit me."

Jay felt his blood boil listening to his little girl describe her experience with the low-life drug dealers that Bunny sold for. While Erin assured Kate that she wasn't going back to that house again, Jay clenched the arms of the chair tighter, rage buzzing in his ears. Every time Kate mentioned the abuse she endured, no matter that it indicated how she was becoming more trusting of her new family, Jay felt like his heart was being ripped out and stomped on. He couldn't imagine anyone evil enough to want to cause harm to his precious little girl, who was so unbelievably innocent. "Jay." Erin stroked her partner's arm in an attempt to get snap Jay out of his reverie, "Jay."

"Mm?" The young detective glanced at his girlfriend, who was now staring at him urgently. He scanned the room quickly, Kate no longer in Erin's arms.

"She's with Hank," Erin said gently, "He thought we should talk. Where did you go just now?" She scooted the chair closer to his and took his hand in her smaller one, "Talk to me."

"Grown-up candy?" Jay croaked out, burying his face in his free hand, "Oh my _God_ , Erin. I just…I can't…I don't…" He stuttered, shaking his head, "How did this fucking bastard _hit_ a child? Every time she mentions it, it breaks my heart over and over again."

"I know." Erin ran her hand through her partner's hair and down his neck, digging into his tense muscles with strong fingers, attempting to ground him with her touch. "She is undoubtedly the strongest and bravest little girl on the planet. And she is safe now. But we need to focus on getting Bunny to tell us what she knows. It might help us catch them."

He nodded, "You want to go talk to her? She's probably at her bar."

Erin shook her head. "No, I want to send patrol to pick her up and bring her in. Book her, for all I care."

Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Erin, she's your mother. Your _family._ You really want to bring her in?"

She nodded adamantly, "Yes. She _knows_ something Jay, and she's going to tell me what it is. As far as I'm concerned, Bunny Fletcher is nobody to me. You're my family now, Jay, you and Kate. And I would do _anything_ to keep her safe." Tears welled up in Erin's eyes as she gripped her partner's hands fiercely, "I love you and I love how you have just picked up this fatherhood thing like it's the easiest thing in the world. And I care about your little girl like she's my own and that means doing whatever it takes to bring the people that hurt her to justice."

Jay gently lifted his hand and wiped a stray tear off Erin's cheek. "Babe, she's your little girl as well. Has been since the moment you brought her out of that dingy closet." He leaned forward and kissed the crown of her head, "I love you, Erin Lindsay, so much."

* * *

While Bunny denied knowing anything about the whereabouts of Jackson and his crew, she did provide other locations in Chicago that they used as stash houses. She was livid to have been brought into the district in handcuffs but reached an agreement with Intelligence that she would not be processed, so long as she cooperated fully. Bunny was resolute in maintaining that she had never seen Kate being abused and had no reason to think she was, angering Erin to no end.

A raid of another house on the South Side produced "Big Joe", formally known to the CPD as Joseph Pierce, a former juvenile delinquent with ties to white supremacist hate groups. He was sitting on two hundred thousand dollars of heroin and on the hook for all of it, refusing to name Jackson and any other accomplices. In order to make the case for child abuse as well, Kate would have to identify him in an official line up.

A day later, Erin and Jay brought Kate to the district to identify Joseph Pierce. Assistant State's Attorney Stone was trying to persuade him to give up Jackson's location in exchange for a slightly reduced sentence, but Pierce would not budge. His lawyer, Ed Bowler, was a savvy and expensive seasoned defense attorney, known for getting criminals off for little to nothing. Jay and Erin were anxious about Kate having to see one of the men who used to hit her but decided together that it was better to have him behind bars for longer than to give him the chance to go free.

"Okay, kiddo, so when the screen raises, I need you to pick out the man who hurt you, okay? He's in jail so he can't hurt you, I promise." Hank told Kate, who was nervously clutching Jay with all her might. The little girl was quivering in fear, despite being told repeatedly that the men she was going to see would not be able to lay a hand on her.

"Okay," Kate squeaked out, "I'm ready."

"Take your time." Bowler instructed, looking pointedly at Erin and then to Hank. Kate had been terrified of the defense attorney and Erin had practically barred her teeth at him for frightening her little girl. Nonetheless, Bowler maintained CPD's vendetta against his client and was searching for any possible loophole, not caring that his actions were further traumatizing a child.

The screen raised, revealing six large white men, all with bald heads and unshaven faces. Kate gasped. "That's him, that's him." She pointed a shaking finger toward the third man, holding tighter to Jay with her other arm, "That's Big Joe."

"Can you identify him by number, please?" Bowler asked gruffly, causing the little girl to snap her hand back and bury her face in Jay's neck.

"What number is Big Joe, baby?" Erin asked gently, glaring at Bowler. She placed a gentle hand on Kate's back and shifted her glare toward the man behind the two-way mirror.

"N-number three," Kate whispered, lifting her head off Jay's shoulder, "Big Joe is number three. He is the man who used to hit me."

"Great job, Kate." ASA Stone smiled warmly and shook Hank's hand. "That's all I need. Have a good evening."

"I'm so proud of you, Squirt." Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, "You were so brave."


	9. Chapter 9

**SO today I learned that if you update more than once in 24 hours, the story doesn't show up on the site (I think? I have literally no idea what I'm doing. If anyone has any idea on how make it show lmk)**

 **ANYWAY enjoy a lil bit o' fluffy drama before the doozy coming up in a few chapters. Hang onto yer hats  
**

"Have you thought about what you want to be for Halloween, Squirt?" Jay asked as he leaned against the countertop, thirstily drinking from a tall glass of water. He had been for an early morning run and was patiently waiting for Erin to finish the shower so he could get ready for work. After a near discovery by Kate last week, Erin was adamant that sex was only happening if their daughter was asleep. To take his mind of his girl in the shower, Jay focused on his daughter, who was finishing a small bowl of whole grain cheerios with banana slices. Work had been so hectic that the detectives barely had time to sit down for meals, let alone be together.

The little girl shook her head in response to her father's question. She had never heard of Halloween before the other children in preschool brought it up. When Erin and Jay explained trick-or-treating and costumes, Kate had been skeptical but willing to entertain a costume if Jay and Erin did too. "I don't know."

"Maybe an animal?" Jay suggested, setting the glass down on the counter, "Since you love animals?"

Kate nodded slowly, pondering the idea. "Maybe a tiger?"

"Yeah!" Jay grinned, "Anything you want. And you have a few weeks to decide, so you don't have to know just yet."

"What about you and Erin?" Kate asked, "You're gonna wear a costume too?"

Jay paused, remembering that he and Erin had told Kate they would wear costumes trick-or-treating as well. "Uh, well, I hadn't thought about it yet. What do you think?" He paused again, "What do you think about getting Erin to dress up as something really crazy?"

"Like a chicken," Kate supplied, nodding in agreement, "That would be silly."

"Why a chicken, Squirt?" Jay chuckled, "Why not a duck or a princess or a giant banana?"

"Because they walk so funny!" Kate exclaimed, bobbing her head like a chicken for effect, causing Jay to nearly choke on his water from laughter.

"Water is supposed to go in your mouth, not on the counter, Jay." Erin scolded jokingly, emerging from the bathroom and instantly reaching for the paper towels to wipe up Jay's mess. "What's so funny in here?"

"It's a secret." Jay managed, heading for the shower, "I'll be quick because we gotta get going!" Erin turned to the little girl, who popped the last piece of banana into her mouth.

"All done, baby?" Erin asked, helping her off the stool. "Did Jay ask you about what you wanted to be for Halloween?"

Kate nodded, slipping her hand in Erin's as they walked to her bedroom to get ready for school, "Jay said he's gonna wear a costume too."

"Oh did he now? What's he going to be?" Erin pulled open Kate's closet, holding up a pair of jeans that Kate nodded at and took.

"I think _you_ should choose for him." Kate told her seriously, placing her pajamas in the hamper and pulling on the pair of jeans.

"Me?" Erin asked, giving Kate a choice between two long sleeve tops.

"Cause Jay _always_ does what you say." Kate replied, picking the blue and white striped top, "I think if you told him to be a princess, he would do it."

Erin laughed, running a brush through Kate's hair. "You are too silly. Ready for school?"

Kate nodded, heading for the door to pull on her shoes. Erin yawned and followed, ready for another rough day on the job. They had been working intense hours for the past week, and Erin was already exhausted before her day had even begun.

* * *

It has been an exceptionally long week in the Intelligence Unit. The case that they closed allowed them to remove a one ton of bad heroin off the streets and guaranteed at least two of the major players would never see the sun again. The entire team was drained after a series of long nights, but Jay's worry was focused on Erin. She had dark circles under her eyes and appeared to be moving in slow motion, even allowing Jay to drive the whole day.

Since the case went late, Sergeant Platt had taken Kate for dinner and allowed the little girl to fall asleep in her lap while she was waiting for her parents to return. The exhaustion of the week seemed to catch up with her as well, not even waking up when Jay tucked her under the covers. "Woah," Jay gripped Erin's elbow as she faltered pulling off her boots, "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just tired," Erin replied, kicking the boots so they lay haphazardly against the wall.

Jay eyed her suspiciously. "You're quite pale," he commented, reaching out to touch her cheek. She pulled back before he could make contact, turning on her heels and heading into the bedroom, shedding her tank top simultaneously.

"You really know how to make a girl feel pretty, Halstead," Erin sneered, her misplaced annoyance not carrying much weight due to the tiredness of her voice. She shimmied out of her dark jeans and tossed them on the floor, just to spite her neat-freak partner.

"Erin, that's not what I meant…" Jay trailed off, realizing he was embarking on an uphill battle that he was never going to win.

"It's October in Chicago. We'll be lucky if we see the sun in May," Erin scoffed, "I'm tired, it's fine, I'll sleep it off." Erin waved her hand flippantly, stumbling again as she attempted to change into her pajamas.

"You sure you're good, babe?" Jay asked, stripping off his shirt and settling under the covers. Trying to fight her would only end up with a lost argument and wasted time that he could have spent sleeping.

"Mm-hm," she replied, crawling into bed beside her partner, twisting her hair behind her head.

"You're slightly warm," Jay said, touching her cheek, and then putting the back of his hand to her forehead. She regarded him with glassy eyes before realizing that she was giving in to his sympathy.

"I'm okay, Jay," Erin moved his hand off her forehead. "I'm sorry, it's been a long week, I'm just really tired."

Jay took her hand in his, which was cold to the touch. "I don't know babe, I think you might be coming down with something."

She rolled her eyes. "Remember that time you thought I was getting sick but I was really just exhausted?"

Jay looked puzzled. "No."

"It's right now," She smirked, laying her head back comfortably on the pillow. "You know I love you." she whispered, closing her tired eyes.

"I love you too." Jay closed his eyes as well, and they both were asleep quickly.

* * *

Erin slept restlessly, tossing and turning in a fitful sleep. She flung the covers off her body at around three in the morning. The young detective was hot, so hot and the cool air in the apartment felt good on her flushed skin. Seeking comfort subconsciously, Erin rested her head on Jay's chest and wrapped her arm around his bare torso.

Jay awoke at four in the morning due to the pressure on his chest. Erin was whimpering slightly in her sleep and was clearly under the weather. She was sweaty, running a little more than a slight fever. Her hands were freezing but her face was hot, pink cheeks flushed and visible in the moonlight. Quietly and carefully, Jay adjusted her so that she would be more comfortable, and gently placed his cool hand on her damp forehead. He blindly reached for his cell phone with the other and dimmed the brightness before dialing his brother. "This better be good," Will mumbled into the receiver, voice thick with sleep.

"I think Erin's sick," Jay whispered, "She's definitely running a fever. Sweating like mad. Her hands are freezing and she's restless."

"You woke me up at four in the morning for a fever? Jesus Jay, people get sick. It's probably the flu. It's Erin, she's tough. She's going to be fine. Take her temperature in the morning. Call me if anything changes." Will disconnected the call. Jay relaxed somewhat, and pressed a kiss into his girl's hair before settling back in bed.

When Erin's phone buzzed at six, Jay reached over and silenced it. Despite all the moment and noise, she didn't even wake up. At twenty past seven, he sat up and gently roused her, determined to take her temperature and get some fluids in her. "Erin." He stroked her sweaty hair off her face, "Wake up babe."

"What?" Erin picked up her head and groaned as the daylight assaulted her eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's seven twenty," he told her, continuing the soothing motion, "But-"

"We have work," she moaned, attempting to sit up. "We have to wake up Kate, we have to drive her to school." Erin clutched her stomach, all color draining from her face.

"You're running a fever," Jay took her arm and brought his hand to her flushed cheek. "There's no way you can make it into work today. And it's Saturday, Kate doesn't have school."

"I-I-I I don't feel so good," Erin gripped her stomach again before leaning over and vomiting into the wastebasket that was luckily by her bedside.

"Oh babe," Jay held her sweaty locks and rubbed her back, "I'm sorry."

Erin shook her head and vomited again. "Ugh," she whimpered, setting the wastebasket on the floor and flopping back against the pillows in defeat.

"Come on, let's get you to the bathroom." Jay climbed out of bed and helped Erin stand, leading her to the bathroom, where she promptly threw up in the sink. Her knees went weak and she fell against her partner. "Woah, careful, Er." He held her by the waist because her feet couldn't seem keep her body upright. She fumbled for his hands, trying to find her balance through the intense nausea.

"I feel so gross," she groaned, holding her stomach and leaning back against her partner, unable to stand on her own. She folded against Jay when he adjusted his grip, so he held her tighter, attempting to lead her further into the bathroom.

"I know babe," Jay helped her sit down next to the toilet with her back against the shower door. He crouched next to her and held her hair back as she proceeded to throw up into the toilet.

When she finished, she turned her head into his shoulder, tears leaking out of her eyes. He softly stroked her sweaty hairline. "Do you want to go back to bed?" Jay asked, placing one of his hands on her stomach, "I'll give Will a call and see what he says we should do."

Erin shook her head and proceeded to throw up again. She rested her head against the cool porcelain, desperate for the small bathroom to stop spinning. Twice more and then she finally stopped. Her throat was raw and her whole body ached from the convulsions as she regarded Jay with heavy-lidded glassy eyes. "You need to wake up Kate," Erin slurred, her words sounding practically incoherent.

Jay raised his eyebrows. Maybe she was concussed or something, he thought. She did have quite the takedown the other day, and with her history of concussions he couldn't be too sure. "Erin, does your head hurt?" He knelt in front of her and looked into her wet, bloodshot eyes.

"Uh huh," she replied, dropping her forehead into her palm with a whimper.

"Are you dizzy?" Jay tilted her chin up. She winced at the brightness of the bathroom light.

"Little bit," she mumbled, closing her eyes once more, "I'm nauseous. I feel like crap."

"I know," Jay said sympathetically. He carefully felt her glands. "Your glands are swollen," he informed her, "Where does your stomach hurt?"

Erin weakly lifted her damp shirt, but didn't bother to indicate where her stomach hurt. "Does it hurt when I touch there?" Jay gently pressed on the lower left side of her abdomen. He may not be a doctor, but he picked up a few things when he was deployed in Afghanistan. She wasn't concussed but she was most definitely not just tired as she had insisted last night.

She shook her head, then winced in pain at the motion. "My head," she slurred, fumbling for Jay's arm. He reached out and Erin shakily clutched his forearm, "I've got a killer headache."

"Did you bang your head on anything?" He cupped her face with his cool hand, feeling the warmth radiating off her forehead.

"No," she replied, glassy eyes unable to focus on her partner's face, "Jay. You need to take Kate to school."

"It's Saturday," he repeated and placed the back of his hand to her forehead, "I need to put you into bed first. I don't want to leave you on the bathroom floor." Jay got off his knees and reached out to his girl. "Do you think you're going to be sick again?"

"Nuh-uh. But I don't want to get up," Erin let her head fall to her knees. "I don't want to move."

"Let's just get you into bed. Then you won't even have to open your eyes." Jay knelt down again and lifted his girl's head. "Come on babe, I need to wake up Kate."

Jay stood and helped Erin to her unsteady feet. He slowly walked her to the bed, Erin leaning into him with all her body weight. She clumsily stumbled against her partner, holding tightly to the arms wrapped around her waist. "Jay," she murmured after they stepped out of the bathroom, "I'm dizzy."

"We're almost to the bed." Jay gently guided her down to the mattress. "There you are." He placed a pillow under her head and a clean wastebasket by the bedside table. "I'm going to wake up Kate and call Will and Hank, okay? And I'm going to get some Advil, Gatorade and Ginger Ale for you, too."

"I'll be fine babe," Erin managed weakly, rolling onto her side.

* * *

Reluctantly, Jay made his way out of their bedroom and into Kate's. "Morning Squirt," he said, sitting down on her bed. The little girl was still asleep, clutching both the stuffed tiger and giraffe in the crook of her arm.

Kate blearily opened her eyes and looked at her bedside clock, then back to Jay. "It's eight. You have work right now," she informed him, very aware of her schedule. Jay smiled.

"I know. But Erin's pretty sick, so we're going to stay home today."

Kate sat up and regarded Jay urgently. "Is she okay?"

Jay sighed, not wanting to upset Kate. "She has a fever and a bad stomach ache," he explained, "She was throwing up this morning."

"Oh." Kate nodded, obviously alarmed. She glanced nervously to her bedroom door before realizing Erin was probably in her bed.

"I have to call Hank and let him know we won't be in today. Do you want to go watch a movie? I need to take care of Erin but then we can have breakfast, okay?"

Kate looked up at him, concern swimming in her eyes. "Can I say hi to her?"

"Well, she's probably sleeping right now, so maybe later. And Squirt, I really don't want you to get what she has. It doesn't look like much fun."

"I'll draw a picture then." Kate decided, getting out of bed, taking the stuffed animals with her.

Jay phoned his sergeant and let him know what was happening. Hank instructed Jay to stay home with his almost-daughter and to call if he need any help. After leaving message for Will to call him back as soon as he could, Jay grabbed a Gatorade bottle out of the cupboard and found a Ginger Ale in the fridge. When he entered the bedroom, Erin was lying in bed, curled up on her side with her arms wrapped around her waist. Jay's heart ached for his girl, who was usually so tough but looked so fragile. "Feeling any better?" he asked, sitting down on the bed and placing the drinks on the bedside table.

She shook her head and whimpered, still holding her stomach. He touched her forehead tenderly. "You're warmer," he sighed, getting up to grab the thermometer and ibuprofen from the first aid kit in the bathroom.

"Where's Kate?" Erin asked when he sat back down, uncapping the thermometer.

"Drawing a picture for you," Jay smiled. "Open." He stuck the thermometer in her mouth. "I told her she couldn't come in here, because I don't want her to catch what you've got." The thermometer beeped. "102.5," he told her, "Poor baby."

"Ugh." she moaned, "I hate this."

"How did I know you would be a grumpy patient," Jay smirked. "Let's get some medicine and fluids in you and then we can talk symptoms." He helped her sit up, but she lay back down almost instantly.

"I'm so dizzy," she told him, covering her eyes, "And my head hurts."

"You're dehydrated from vomiting. When I called Will last night he said it's probably just the flu," Jay stuck a straw in the Gatorade bottle. "Drink." he commanded, placing two brown tablets in her shaking hand.

She obliged, taking slow and small sips before shaking her head for no more. "You called Will last night?" Erin removed her hand from her face and winced at the morning light.

"Mm-hm. He wasn't thrilled that I woke him up but I was worried about you. Have some ginger ale, please." Jay put the straw in the second drink and gestured for her to take a few more sips. She rolled her eyes and sipped the fizzy drink carefully.

"You should have been a nurse," she commented, snuggling closer to him.

He chuckled. "I bet you're sleepy." he said. "I'm going to let you rest. Kate and I will be outside if you need anything, okay?"

She nodded, her eyelids closing. "Thanks," she murmured, settling back against the pillows.

Jay left the bedroom door ajar in case she needed anything and set about finding his daughter. "Squirt?" he called into the apartment, not finding the little girl in the living room like he had expected.

"In here." Kate replied from the kitchen. She was sitting at the breakfast bar, eating a peanut butter sandwich that she made herself. "How's Erin?"

"Still sick," Jay sighed and ran his hand over his face. He paused, glancing at the sandwich, "Did you make breakfast by yourself?"

Kate nodded, suddenly alarmed that she may have done something she wasn't supposed to. "I'm sorry," Kate rushed out, pushing the plastic plate away from her, "I-I couldn't reach the cereal or the milk and I didn't w-want to bother you cause Erin's sick-"

"Hey, hey, no need to be sorry," Jay reassured her, "I'm impressed you did it yourself."

She sighed in relief. "And I made one for you, too." She gestured to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was sitting on a plastic plate on the counter by the coffee machine.

"Wow, you are the best," Jay took a bite of the sandwich, "And this is delicious! What kind of movie do you want to watch?"

"An animal one." Kate declared, slipping off the chair carefully and standing on her tiptoes to put her plate in the sink. "But I think you need some coffee."

"That I do." Jay chuckled and started the machine. He scooped up his little girl and headed for the couch to watch a movie.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter inspired by my roommate's last bout with the flu. I actually didn't intend for this chapter to be part of the larger story, but I'm a sucker for caring boyfriends and cute kids.**

 **PS quick question-what is the difference between a 'favorite' and a 'follow'? are they essentially the same thing?**

 **Cheers**

Erin couldn't remember the last time she felt this poorly. Her eyes felt heavy and there was a bass drum that rattled her temples every second. She couldn't shake the feeling that if she opened her mouth, her entire stomach would pour out. Her pajamas clung to her sweaty body in moist patches, uncomfortably rubbing against her feverish skin. Erin lay on her bed in agony, intent on riding out this sickness like she had done so many times before.

Jay was about to take his last sip of coffee but was interrupted by coughing and vomit noises from the bedroom. "Squirt, keep watching. I'll be right back." He placed his coffee cup on the table and hurried to find his girl.

Erin was leaning over the bed, again throwing up into the waste basket. She was white as a sheet, hands shaking and entire body shivering. Jay rushed to her side and gathered up her damn hair in one hand, balancing the wastebasket in the other. When she had finished being sick, she looked at him with glazed eyes. "I haven't been sick since before I started working for Hank," she mumbled, putting one hand up to her forehead. Jay starting talking to her, but she couldn't hear him through the drum banging on her head.

"Your immune system must be getting payback," Jay set the basket on the ground and turned back to Erin. He began to ask a few more questions about how she was feeling, but Erin didn't hear him, the constant thudding of the base drum in her head drowning out everything Jay was asking. He rummaged around her nightstand while her conscious ping-ponged between here and now. Her eyes were heavy from crying and it was like the entire room was blanketed in a fog, and Erin couldn't see anything. "Erin," Jay repeated, pressing his cool palm against her cheek. "Erin."

She looked up at him, anticipating a question, while he looked like he was anticipating an answer. "Hi," she mumbled, closing her eyes once again. Her whole body fell forward, but Jay's arms caught her gently. He wiped the sticky hair off her forehead before stroking her fiery cheek.

"I just asked you if you wanted to get back into bed." Jay's hands were still on her shoulders, willing her to not plummet off the bed and onto the hardwood floor. Heat radiated off his girl as she tried to understand what he was asking of her. "Jesus, Erin, you're burning up."

"Shower," she said defiantly, trying to swat his arms away. Jay said something about her not being able to stand. "Bath, then," she insisted, her voice desperate. She sounded close to tears through her haziness and it was enough to make Jay sigh.

"Well, we do need to change the sheets." Jay sighed again. "Alright, let's get you to the tub." Erin felt her body being removed from the warmth of her bed to the cool apartment air on her way to the bathroom.

She heard little footsteps come from the living room against the banging of her own head, and the sounds of a small voice but it was mostly drowned out by the running bath water. "Squirt, can you get some new pajamas from Erin's dresser?" Jay asked the nervous little girl. She was standing awkwardly by the bathroom door, unsure of what to do.

Kate nodded, and headed to Erin's bedroom. "Kate," Erin tightened her grip on Jay's t shirt, "Where is she?"

"She's here, and worried about you," Jay slowly attempted to pull Erin's damp tank top off her body. "I'm going to take your clothes off now, okay?"

Erin shivered as the cool bathroom tiles chilled her bare feet. Kate emerged with a clean set of pajamas and looked worriedly at Erin, now in only her underwear, perched precariously on the closed toilet seat.

"Is she going to be okay?" Kate asked over the roar of the bathtub. Erin was shivering violently, goosebumps appearing down her arms as she folded against her boyfriend.

Jay nodded, tucking some of Erin's damp hair behind her ears. "Just a fever, which means she's fighting whatever it is. Can you pass me the thermometer? It's on the counter." Kate did as she was told, anxiously regarding the ill woman in front of her. Erin moaned in protest through her sleepy haze as the cold metal entered her mouth. "Shh," Jay cooed, stroking his partner's head. When the thermometer beeped, he removed the device and sighed. "103.1."

"Is that bad?" Kate widened her eyes, glancing down at Erin's pale, frail figure. "Miss Carlson said that you get a fever when you have an in-fek-shun."

"It's not great, but the bath will help make Erin feel better," Jay promised, turning the water off. Sometimes he worried that his little girl was too smart for her own good. She was looking at him nervously while he tried to figure out the best course of action for cooling down his girl. "Now, how are we going to do this?" He attempted to place Erin into the tub, but she held a strong grip onto his shirt, even though her stupor.

"I think you have to get in with her. If she goes by herself, she'll get drowned." Kate explained.

"I think you're right." Jay, despite being clad in the athletic shorts that he had worn to bed, set one foot into the lukewarm water before sitting down in the tub. Although the tub wasn't full or very cold, Erin tensed up in his arms. "Hey, hey," he said softly, stroking her hair back into the water. He made sure she didn't hit her head on the tiled wall or tub before accepting the nozzle from Kate.

Carefully, so not to get water into her eyes, Jay rinsed her hair. She moaned in appreciation for the coolness. It wasn't until she felt herself slipping that Erin gasped and was pulled back into reality. "Jay?" she groaned, realizing that her head felt like it was going to explode, "Where are you?"

"Right here." Jay looked down at his feverish girl and handed the shower nozzle to Kate. "Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded and rested her head against Jay's chest.

"Do you think she wants to wash her hair?" Jay asked his daughter, who was standing rigidly beside the bathtub.

"I'll get her shampoo." Kate reached into the shower and returned with Erin's favorite shampoo and conditioner. She held them out to her father gingerly.

Jay looked at the bottles and back down to Erin. "Squirt, I think I've got to hold onto her, so can you do it?" He nodded at Kate, who looked frightened. "You won't hurt her."

Gently, Kate poured shampoo into her little palm before working it through her mother's hair. She massaged her head, just like Erin did to her, making sure to create lots of foam to ensure her hair was clean. Kate took the nozzle and ever so carefully wet Erin's hair, covering her eyes with her little hand.

After conditioning her hair, Kate set the nozzle down. "All done. And she didn't even wake up."

Jay smiled. "She's actually awake, just in and out," As if on cue, Erin opened her eyes and looked up at her partner, regarding him with a foggy gaze. "Hey babe," Jay pressed a kiss on her damp forehead, "Feeling any better?"

"I'm cold," she whispered, trying to hold him closer, "I'm so cold."

"Alright, let's get you out and dried off." Carefully, Jay stood and lifted Erin out of the bathtub. He wrapped her in a towel as Kate wound another around Jay's waist and soaking shorts.

He carefully set Erin down on the toilet seat, before quickly toweling himself off. "Squirt, can you do me another huge favor?"

The little girl nodded, wiping her own hands on the small towel by the sink. "Do you think you could stay with Erin for a second? Just while I get some dry clothes on and change the sheets."

Kate looked even more skeptical, but she nodded anyway. "What if she wakes up?"

"It'll be two minutes. Holler if you need me," Jay instructed and quickly went to get dry.

Kate leaned against the tub, tentatively resting her hand on Erin's arm. Suddenly the woman moaned, and Kate jumped. "Hi Erin," Kate whispered, the detective's eyes still closed. "It's just Kate."

Slowly, Erin opened her eyes. "Hi baby," she mumbled, looking around the bathroom, almost in a trance, "Where's Jay?"

"He's getting dry," Kate explained, "He said he would help you change, but I could brush your hair so you don't get snarls?"

Erin managed a weak smile. "You're such a good girl, you know that?"

Kate smiled back. "Do you feel sick?" she asked, pushing the wastebasket over to her. Erin shook her head, but brought her head to rest against her hands quickly.

"Just a little dizzy," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the bathroom fan. Regretting shaking her head, Erin leaned over and vomited into the bathtub.

"Kate?" Jay called, "Is everything okay?"

"I got it," Kate replied, taking the hand towel off of the counter and handing it to Erin so she could wipe her mouth. She gently placed a comforting hand on Erin's shoulder and methodically ran a brush through her hair. "It's okay, Erin," Kate pulled Erin's hair into a low pony tail before placing her palm to her flushed cheek. "Can you hear me?"

"Where did you learn to take such good care of people?" Erin asked in a moment of clarity, taking the little girl's hand in her own.

"Sometimes Mr. P's ladies got sick," Kate murmured, "And one of them taught me how to help." Kate paused, taking in her mother's pale complexion, "And then she got sick and," Kate swallowed, coming to a terrible realization, "she died."

"Oh sweetheart, I'm not going to die," Erin allowed the little girl to lean into her embrace, "I'll be all better soon."

"How's it going in here?" Jay appeared in the doorway.

Erin saw a shadowy figure approach and gently lift her up. "Her words are all fuzzy. And she got sick again," Kate informed her father as he felt Erin's hot head burn through his dry t shirt. He noted that her eyes were wet with tears, but figured he should get Erin into bed before asking why his little girl was upset.

"And you handled it yourself? You did great Squirt. You are just full of surprises this morning," Jay smiled, and headed back to his bedroom, towel-clad Erin in his arms. He had placed clean sheets on the bed, and had cleaned the wastebasket. "I'm going to get Erin changed into some pajamas. Can you blow her a kiss and then go watch another movie?"

Kate nodded but remained in the bedroom. "When is she going to be better?"

"Soon, I hope." Jay rummaged through Erin's dresser and pulled out a pair of pajama shorts, underwear and his t shirt from the Academy. "I know it's tough to see her like this, but she'll be better soon."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Squirt." Jay sank down to Kate's level and gently rubbed her arm. "It's going to be okay, I promise."

"Can you take her to see Uncle Will?" Kate asked tearfully, "He can make her better."

"I'll call Uncle Will as soon as I tuck Erin into bed," Jay reassured her. "But don't you worry, she's going to be just fine. And you were the biggest help. I am so proud of you." He kissed her forehead, "Can you go watch another episode of Animal Planet while I get Erin situated? I'll be out in a few minutes, sound good?"

"Okay." Kate nodded, blew her mother a kiss and headed back to the living room.

Jay crouched beside the bed, where Erin was slumped against the pillows, weakly holding the towel around her shivering frame. He planted a kiss on Erin's sweltering forehead. "Erin," he whispered, taking the academy t shirt and gently pulling it over her head.

"Mmm?" Erin opened her eyes slightly, and gazed up at her partner with glassy eyes.

"Can I put you into bed now? You've had a bath and…" Jay's voice continued on, but Erin couldn't hear it anymore. He gave her another kiss on the forehead after saying something about her fever, and helped her into her pajamas and under the covers. "You need to get your rest. I know the medicine and liquids didn't sit, so we'll try again in bit, okay?"

She nodded. "Stay with me," she whispered, holding his hand, "Please."

"All right." He climbed into the bed, resting next to his partner. She placed her warm head on his chest and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Erin." Jay gently woke his sick girlfriend after allowing her to sleep for an hour. "Let's check your temperature and try to get some more fluids and meds in you, okay?"

"I don't want to move," she protested, wrapping an arm around her stomach. If it was possible, she felt worse than before. The cool bath helped her feel less sticky, but the nausea and headache didn't subside.

"I know this sucks," Jay took the thermometer off the table. "But if your temp is going up, I think we have to pay a visit to Will. Open up."

Obediently, she opened her mouth and lifted her tongue. She looked forlorn and frail laying on the bed, hair still damp and cheeks rosy from the fever.

"103.8," Jay said after the thermometer beeped. "Sorry babe, looks like we're going to Med."

"I don't want to move," Erin insisted, tightening her grip on her partner's t shirt, "I'll get sick."

"That's exactly why we're going." Jay stroked her sweaty forehead. "Come on now, you'll feel so much better after some fluids."

"But we know people there," she groaned. In an instant, what little color was left drained from her face and she threw up into the wastebasket. Defeated, she curled up against the pillow, a few tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

"I'm sorry Er, I can't let you go on like this," Jay gently helped her sit up and rubbed her back. "Kate's really nervous that you're so sick. I think a trip to Med will make you and her feel so much better."

"Okay," she mumbled, "You win. Low blow using Kate." She shakily set her feet on the ground and tried to stand, fumbling before she even got off the bed.

"Hold on." Jay pulled an olive colored sweatshirt out of the dresser that read 'Army' in huge letters. "It's freezing outside."

After gently placing the sweatshirt over his girl's head, Jay lifted her up. "You're carrying me?" Erin asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You're in no condition to walk anywhere." He pushed open the bedroom door. "Hey Squirt," he called out. "Can you get your shoes on? We're going to Med."

"I feel silly," Erin squirmed, "Seriously. If Will sees us or God forbid anyone we work with, they'll never let me live it down."

"Tough," Jay glanced down at his feverish girl and tightened his grip, "You're my patient and what I say, goes."

Kate emerged from her bedroom, dressed for the day. "Erin, are you okay?" She asked, standing as far away from her mother as possible without being in another room. Erin was pale and looked so small in Jay's arms.

"I'm fine Kate," Erin smiled weakly. "Just a little sick."

"Sweetheart, can you grab Erin's bag for me?" Jay asked her gently. He understood how scared she was.

* * *

Jay sat beside Erin on the bed in one of the ER bays. Erin was asleep, still gripping Jay's hand as he perched awkwardly on the edge and Kate sat in the chair in the corner, knees drawn up to her chest. "It's going to be okay, Squirt," Jay reassured her, giving the little girl a small smile, "Will's going to help her get better and Erin'll be as good as new in no time at all."

Kate remained skeptical, but nodded her head slowly. "Hi, I'm Doctor Halstead…" Will Halstead entered the room, looking up from the file. "Oh hey man. I'm sorry I missed your call, things have been crazy around here."

"It's fine," Jay said dismissively, "I just wanted your doctorly option on Erin here, she's got a fever of almost 104 and can't keep fluids down." Jay motioned to his sleeping partner.

"It's a good thing you brought her in then," Will pulled his gloves on. "Hey there, Goosey," he said jokingly to his niece, who scrunched up her nose at the nickname her new uncle had taken to calling her.

"I'm not a goose, Uncle Will!" Kate managed a small smile despite the situation, "You're gonna make Erin all better?"

"That's right," Will winked and the little girl relaxed, "Jay, can you?"

"Wake her?" He nodded. "Erin, babe. Wake up, we're at Med."

The feverish young detective rolled her head to one side and half opened her eyes. "Why?" she drawled, swiping a hand over her mouth, "Where's Kate? Is she okay?"

"Kate's fine. She's right here. It's you we're worried about. You were throwing up and you've got a high fever." Jay stood and stroked her hair back, standing beside the bed. "Will's going to fix you right up."

"Will's here?" Erin lifted her head slightly and peered at the red-headed Halstead.

"Nice to see you too, beautiful," Will teased, "Alright, open up for me Lindsay." Will stuck a thermometer in Erin's mouth and waited for it to beep. "104.2," he declared, shooting the plastic covering into the waste bin, "Good thing Jay brought you in." He felt around Erin's neck, "Swollen glands." Will looked at her chapped lips and pale complexion, "And you're dehydrated."

"My stomach hurts and I'm nauseous." Erin gripped her abdomen and squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the room from spinning. Jay widened his eyes at his brother-his girl was not one to complain.

"What kind of pain?" Dr. Halstead asked while the other Halstead continued to stroke Erin's sweaty hair.

"Ugh," Erin moaned, "I-I think I'm going to hurl." With that, Jay sprang into action and quickly thrust a basin underneath his partner's cracked lips just in time for her to heave up the little water and bile she had left in her system. "Mm," she whimpered after she dry heaved again. Exhausted, she leaned back against the pillow and screwed her eyes shut.

"Okay Erin, I'm just going to lift your shirt up so I can take a look at your stomach." Will looked at her for approval. Erin cracked one eye open.

"Careful there, only one Halstead gets to take my top off and it isn't you."

Jay smirked at his brother before placing a kiss on his girl's damp forehead. "Glad to see you're still funny."

Will rolled his eyes and gently lifted Jay's sweatshirt to examine Erin's stomach. "When was the last time you ate?" He pressed lightly on her abdomen before pulling the sweatshirt down again.

"I dunno." Erin's voice seemed to drift away.

Will looked at his brother. "Maybe lunch…yesterday?" Jay guessed. "Works been so crazy, I don't even know if she had dinner last night."

Dr. Halstead nodded. "Well, if your fever decreases in the next hour or so I don't think we'll need to keep you here overnight. I'm going to hook you up to an IV for a bit to rehydrate you and hopefully send you on your way." He turned to his brother, "Get her something to eat when you get home. The acid in her stomach is irritating the lining."

"Thanks man." Jay smiled at the redheaded doctor before turning to Kate, who was still sitting in the plastic chair with her knees drawn up to her chin. "Didn't I tell you that Uncle Will would make Erin all better?"

Kate offered a small smile but glanced nervously at Erin while Will hooked her up to an IV. "She'll be better in no time kiddo," Will reassured her, "And in the meantime, how do you feel about taking a trip to the cafeteria for some ice cream with your Uncle Will?"

The little girl looked excitedly at Jay, who nodded his approval. "Maybe get her some real food too, it's been a busy day."

"No problem man." Will scooped up Kate in his arms. "Onward!" He shouted and she giggled, waving to her parents over Will's shoulder.

* * *

Erin cracked open one eye as she felt a cool cloth make contact with her skin. "Mm," she moaned, opening the other eye to see her partner methodically running a damp washcloth over her feverish forehead. She was laying on the couch under one of Kate's blankets, the stuffed tiger in the crook of her arm. "Hi," Erin murmured sleepily, reaching out to touch Jay's arm.

"Hey babe." Jay stopped his gentle ministrations and smiled at his girl, "How are you feeling?"

"Better, I think." Erin replied, turning her head so she could see her partner. Jay was crouched on the floor, washcloth in hand, staring concernedly at her, "Where's Kate?"

Jay ran the washcloth down her neck, "Hank stopped by to check on you. He offered to take Kate for the evening so I could focus on getting you better."

"Mm," Erin moaned again in appreciation as Jay continued to soothingly cool her off with the cloth, "That feels good."

"I bet," Jay mused, "You had us worried there for a bit. Will was reluctant to send you home but I told him if you woke up in the hospital, he may never wake up."

"I forgot we went to Med," Erin replied, recalling the trip they had taken earlier that day, "Oh, god, I totally puked in front of your brother."

"Yeah, but he's a doctor," Jay reminded her, "And he's probably coming over later to check up on you."

Erin closed her eyes and let Jay continue the motions, running the cloth over her stomach, shoulders and down her neck and arms. "Your fever's down last time I checked, but we should check again soon," Jay said, "And we should get some fluids in you too. Maybe even some crackers if you're up for it."

"I could go for some crackers and juice," Erin told him and he nodded, heading for the kitchen. He returned with the food and helped his girl into a sitting position. "Thanks for taking such good care of me," Erin smiled, tugging on his arm so he could sit next to her.

"That's what I'm here for," Jay pressed a kiss on the side of her head, "And I wasn't alone. Kate was a huge help. Even at four years old she knew exactly what to do." He gestured to the fuzzy pink blanket over Erin's lap, "When we brought you back, you didn't want to stay in bed, so Kate covered you up with that blanket and gave you the tiger. It was the sweetest thing."

"I think she told me a story when I was in the bathroom," Erin remembered, "You were changing and cleaning up my puke and I asked her how come she knew how to take care of people, and she said she learned from taking care of ODing prostitutes."

"Mm-hm," Jay lifted the apple juice to Erin's lips, "She told me about it before Hank came. From what I could gather, one of the people taught her how to care for someone who was ODing, and then that person died." Jay shook his head, "Every time she tells me something about her past I can't believe she made it out alive."

"I know," Erin set the drink down and cuddled into her boyfriend's shoulder. She lifted a cracker to her mouth and chewed thoughtfully, "God I'm hungry."

"That is an excellent sign," Jay placed the back of his hand on Erin's forehead. "You definitely feel cooler." He reached for the thermometer and indicated for her to open her mouth. "100.3, still a fever, but you're on the mend," Jay informed his girl, running a hand over her head. "Glad I don't have to worry so much anymore."

Erin smiled up at him, "I love you," she murmured, wrapping one arm around his waist.

"Love you," Jay replied into her hair, kissing her again. They sat cuddled together until a sharp knock at the door drew Jay to his feet. "That's probably Hank or Will."

Jay pulled open the door to reveal Hank, carrying an exhausted Kate in his arms. Her mouth was blue and she clutched a stuffed shark in one hand. She was resting her head on Hank's shoulder, eyelids drooping. "Hey Sarge. Hey Squirt." Jay smiled, "Did you have fun?"

Before Hank could reply, Kate opened her eyes and nodded vigorously, "Sergeant Voight took me see the _sharks_!" she squealed, "And I saw all kinds of animals, like otters and turtles and seals!"

"Wow," Jay grinned as Hank stepped inside, "The aquarium, huh?"

"I thought a distraction was warranted," Hank said, "How's she doing?" He peered over Jay's shoulder to see Erin sitting up on the couch, sipping from a carton of apple juice.

"Fever's down. Things are looking up," Jay nodded, "Squirt, did Sergeant Voight get Tiger and Giraffe a new friend?"

"Yes!" Kate exclaimed, thrusting the plush shark at Jay, "But it's for Erin now, so she can feel better."

"That's so sweet of you," Jay marveled at his little girl's thoughtfulness. "Do you want to give it to her yourself? She's feeling a whole lot better."

"Yeah!" Kate wiggled so that Hank could set her down and she scampered off to the couch. She slowed to a stop and glanced at Erin. "Hi Erin," she said, carefully approaching the detective, "Jay said you're feeling better."

"There you are!" Erin opened her arms and brought the child into her embrace, "I am feeling so much better, thanks to you." Kate blushed and handed her the shark.

"Sergeant Voight took me to the _aquarium_! And we saw all the ocean animals and fish. And I thought Mr. Shark would help you feel better," Kate explained, "Because when you found me you said that stuffed animals make you feel better."

"I did say that, didn't I?" Erin touched the little girl's cheek, observing her blue lips, "And did Hank get you ice cream as well?"

"Uh-huh! _Blue_ ice cream with little sharks in it!" Kate hopped onto the couch beside Erin, "I'm so glad Uncle Will made you all better."

"Me too, baby." Erin kissed the top of Kate's head.

"Hey kid," Hank approached the couch and smiled warmly at his almost-daughter, "Feeling better?"

"Much," Erin replied, "Thanks for taking her today."

"Anything for you, kiddo." Hank smiled, "Do me a favor and stay home on Monday. Your partner has to be in court anyway."

"Right," Jay nodded, remembering that he had to testify as a witness from a drug bust a few months back that had finally made it to trial.

"Hank-" Erin protested, but her sergeant held up his hand.

"No arguments. You had a lot of people worried today, so you just focus on getting better. We'll be fine for 24 hours."

"Alright," Erin agreed, accepting the fact that it was not a debate she was going to win. She stifled a yawn and looked at the clock, "It's past ten! How are you still awake?" She looked down at Kate, who was tiredly leaning against her shoulder.

The little girl shrugged. "Probably because both Will and Hank gave her ice cream today," Jay determined, looking up from his phone. "Will's stuck in the ED, but sends his best."

"I better get going. I better not see either of you on Monday." Hank turned to leave but paused, remembering his little friend, "Bye Kate." He waved.

Kate jumped up and raised her arms, indicating that she wanted a hug. Hank scooped her up and held her tightly. "Good night Sergeant Voight," she murmured, "Thank you for taking me to the aquarium."

The gruff sergeant kissed her forehead lightly before passing the little girl off to her father. "Take care of them," Hank said to Jay.

"Always, sir," Jay replied, balancing Kate on his hip. Hank shut the door behind him and Jay looked down at his daughter, "What do we say we get you all cleaned up and ready for bed?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter rated M for child abuse. Trigger warning.  
**

"Have a good day, baby. I love you." Erin kissed her little girl's cheek and set her down on the ground. "Sergeant Platt is going to pick you up like normal, and then we'll get some pizza for dinner, how does that sound?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically, hugging Erin's legs tightly. "I gotta give you a kiss for Jay," Kate reminded her and Erin leaned down to accept it.

"You're absolutely right. How could I forget?" She hugged Kate back, no longer worrying that she would break her. In the four months they had been a family, Kate had put on some much needed weight and began to look less like a ghost and more like a little girl. Jay had left earlier that morning to meet with a CI, leaving Erin with pre-school drop off duty with the caveat that Kate give Erin a kiss to give to him. "I'll see you in a few hours. Have fun today!" Erin squeezed her baby tighter and waved goodbye as Kate made her way into the classroom.

During Jay and Erin's last conversation with Dr. Handel, they determined that at their next session they would explain how Kate is Jay's biological daughter. Jay was excited but Erin secretly worried about what the revelation would do to her relationship with Kate. She thought of the little girl as her own and loved her fiercely, unable to imagine a life without her. The months she spent being a mother, despite all the complications, had been the best of her life. Her relationship with Jay had never been stronger, and she had never been happier.

"That's from Kate," Erin informed Jay after planting a kiss to his cheek in the breakroom, "And this one's from me." She gently pressed her lips against his, inhaling his scent and basking in her love for her partner.

"Well, if I knew that asking you to relay a kiss from Kate would lead to _that,_ " Jay trailed off and chuckled, kissing Erin's nose, "How did drop off go?"

"Smoothly," Erin replied, accepting the mug of coffee that he poured for her, "I told her we could get pizza tonight."

"Mm." Jay nodded, "I could go for some pizza."

"It's like nine in the morning," Erin rolled her eyes, heading toward her desk, "Only a few more hours."

* * *

Kate sat cross-legged on the story time carpet, listening to Miss Carlson read a book about farm animals. Some of the other kids were fidgeting, probably because snack time was next. Kate sat quietly though. She liked to learn about all the different types of animals and had been learning more about them through the many trips to the library with Erin, Jay or Sergeant Platt. Uncle Will had even brought by a bunch of animal documentaries that she and Jay watched because Erin always ended up falling asleep. There hadn't been a book about farm animals though, and Kate was fascinated by the silly cows who learned to type.

A knock came to the classroom door and two people entered. There was a man in a police uniform like Officer Garcia wore and that Erin and Jay only wore sometimes, accompanied by a lady wearing a navy blazer and pencil skirt. "Alexa Carlson? May we speak with you?" the officer said, flashing his badge for effect. Miss Carlson sent everyone back to the table for coloring with a promise to return to the story after she spoke with the guests.

Kate was incredibly nervous. She didn't recognize the officer or the lady in navy and Sergeant Platt had introduced her to every patrolman in the district. The group of adults spoke in hushed tones, occasionally flashing a glance toward her. "Ms. Carlson, I'm Maria Lucas from the Department of Children and Family Services. We've been informed that there has been an incident involving the father of Kate Halstead." The woman in navy peered over at Kate, who was supposed to be coloring but was regarding the group of adults warily.

"An incident?" Alexa Carlson asked, worry instantly appearing on her face, "What kind of incident?"

The officer and Ms. Lucas exchanged looks. "It appears Detective Halstead was shot and is being transported to the hospital. He is the only legal guardian to Kate, and we need to take her into protective custody," He paused, "And we are aware that Detective Erin Lindsay is also involved in Kate's life, but we have gotten word that she is injured as well."

Alexa Carlson's eyes were huge, "O-okay, well, Sergeant Trudy Platt normally picks Kate up at 3:30-"

"Sergeant Platt is dealing with the evolving situation at the 21st District, so we will need to take Kate into our custody," Ms. Lucas glanced over at Kate, "right now."

Ms. Carlson nodded and forced a smile as she turned to Kate, "Kate, could you come here for a second, sweetheart?"

Kate knew she was supposed to listen to her teacher, so she slowly made her way from the table to where Ms. Carlson was squatting on the floor, "A-am I in trouble?" Kate asked, glancing nervously up at the officer and DCFS woman.

"Oh, no, um…" the young teacher looked up at the other adults for assistance.

"Hi Kate, my name is Maria and this is Officer John. Something's happened to your daddy, so we need to take you with us, okay? You can trust us, I promise." Ms. Lucas stroked Kate's little arm as the child's eyes widened. Ms. Carlson winced, well aware that Jay and Erin hadn't told Kate Jay was her father and as such hadn't been referring to themselves as Mommy and Daddy.

"J-Jay?" Kate asked, her voice wavering, "Is he okay?" She looked over at her teacher, who appeared just as confused as she was.

"Officer John and I are going to take you to him, right away, okay?" The woman smiled and placed her hands on Kate's shoulders, leading her toward the door. "We'll call with an update, Ms. Carlson."

* * *

"21st District." Trudy Platt barked into the receiver, stirring a mug of coffee with her pen. The usual lunch time rush had died down and she was starving and cranky.

"May I speak with Sergeant Platt, please?" A young voice asked over the phone.

"Speaking." Platt responded, opting to add another creamer into her drink.

"Hi, Sergeant, this is Alexa Carlson from Hillside Nursery School, I'm Kate Halstead's teacher-"

"Is she okay?" Platt interrupted, abandoning her coffee.

"Um, I was just able to find someone to cover my class for a minute and was calling to see if there was any news about Jay and Erin. Ms. Lucas said she would call but I haven't heard anything and I was just concerned knowing Kate's situation and-"

"W-what are you talking about?" Platt asked, cutting her off yet again. Dread began to fill the stomach of the seasoned officer as she waited to hear what the teacher was going to say.

"An officer and a woman from DCFS came to my classroom this morning. They said Jay had been shot and Erin had been injured at that they needed to take Kate into protective custody," Ms. Carlson rambled, "And I wanted to see if there was anything I could do-"

"What?" Sergeant Platt exploded, looking around her district in disbelief, "They said my detective had been shot?"

"Y-yes ma'am."

"Hold on," Platt left the receiver hanging as she hurried up the steps to the Intelligence Unit. "Halstead! Lindsay!" She shouted, ascending the steps and looking around widely for her detectives.

"Yeah Sarge?" Jay emerged from the breakroom, stirring a cup of coffee.

"You don't look shot to me," Platt brought a hand to her forehead, "Oh, God…"

"Trudy? What's going on?" Hank came out of his office, Erin right behind him. The older woman appeared to be close to tears.

"I-I've got Kate's teacher on the line-"

"Is she okay?" Erin interrupted, eyes wide.

"She said that an officer and a woman from DCFS came to her classroom this morning and told her that you," Platt gestured to Jay, "Had been shot and that you," she gestured to Erin, "had been injured and that she needed to be taken into protective custody."

"W-what?" Jay choked out, fumbling for his cell phone in his pocket to dial the number for the school.

"We need to get down to that school." Hank barked out and immediately Olinsky and Ruzek grabbed their coats and headed for the exit. He turned to Erin, who had gone pale and looked dangerously close to passing out. "Erin, sit down."

She shook her head, blinking back tears. Jay disconnected his call, putting his arms above his head. "Someone took my kid." He whispered, slamming his hand down on the desk, causing everything on it to jump, "We need to find her, now."

* * *

"Are we going to where Uncle Will works?" Kate asked nervously, taking a sip from the juice box that the woman had handed to her. She had been given very little information, only that she was being brought to where Jay was and that he and Erin were both hurt, "Are Jay and Erin going to be okay?"

"Not sure, kid." The officer replied, shrugging off his uniform as he sat in the passenger seat, "You just sit tight."

"C-can you call Sergeant Voight?" The little girl finally allowed tears to leak out of her eyes. She was trying to be brave but she was so worried. "Or my Uncle Will? Or Sergeant Platt?"

"No-can-do." He flashed a sick smile at Kate, causing her to cower backwards in the seat. There hadn't been a car seat, so she was sitting in the backseat unable to see out the window. She was becoming increasingly anxious about the situation, especially because she didn't recognize where she was going.

"I-I want Erin." Kate whimpered, her head feeling heavier and limbs going slack, "I want Jay."

"Just go to sleep, little girl." The man told her. Kate fought to keep her eyes open. She knew she wasn't safe anymore.

* * *

"This is unbelievable," Alexa Carlson ran her hand through her hair as she nervously looked from Jay to Erin, "I am so sorry."

"It isn't your fault." Jay replied tensely, gripping Kate's backpack in his hands. "You did what you were supposed to do."

"We're getting the security footage now. And the badge number from the Officer John came back as being stolen last week. There's no way you could have known. These are professional criminals." Erin said, placing her hand on Jay's chest. "If you think of anything else, please call."

"She's been missing four hours," Jay murmured as they exited the office, "Alexa said she was taken at 10:30. We haven't gotten a hit off the car from the security cameras. She could literally be anywhere right now."

"We know that Jackson has roots in New York and Chicago," Erin stated, sliding into the driver's seat, "We've got alerts out at O'Hare, Midway and every train or bus station in the area. There's a BOLO out on the car. There's an Amber Alert out on her. We're going to find her."

Jay nodded wordlessly. The drive back to the district was silent, both detectives consumed by the fact that Kate's worst nightmare had come true. "Halstead." Jay snapped into his phone after it chimed. "Fuck." He blurted out, gripping the phone tightly in his fist, looking like he was going to smash it into the ground. "God damn it." Jay disconnected the call and covered his eyes with his hand.

"Jay." Erin looked at him urgently, pulling the Sierra over to the curb.

"They found the car in the long-term parking lot at O'Hare." Jay replied, not removing his hand from his face, "Olinsky and Burgess are talking to TSA now."

Erin didn't have the words to reply. She merged back onto the street and headed for the district, unable to speak.

* * *

"Flights out of O'Hare have been grounded." Platt informed the rest of the Unit, consisting of Ruzek, Atwater and Voight. "My contact at the TSA thinks that they are probably already in the air. We're getting information on outgoing passengers with any kid matching Kate's description."

Halstead and Lindsay tromped up the stairs silently, Jay sitting behind his desk and Erin making her way to the breakroom. "Uh, we know Jackson's got contacts in New York. Check out those flights first." Jay said thickly, glancing down at his phone. His background was an image of Erin and Kate tossing corn into the pond, Kate smiling gleefully and Erin beaming down at the little girl.

Platt nodded. "Will do." She offered a small smile, "Stay strong, Halstead."

"Halstead, if you can't be here, I understand." Voight said, leaning against Lindsay's empty desk. "If you and Lindsay need to go home-"

"I'm good, right here." Jay responded, "I just want to find our kid."

Hank nodded, "Alright, Atwater and Ruzek, go over all of Jackson's known associates. See if anything pops for the people who posed as DCFS and impersonated an officer."

"Got it boss." Ruzek replied, busying himself with the computer.

"Halstead, you and Lindsay go to Jackson's mother's house in case there's any evidence we missed over there. It's still a crime scene." Jay nodded, glancing around the bullpen for his partner. He _knew_ the order was busy work, but he didn't care. He couldn't just sit around and wait.

Hank turned to the breakroom to see his daughter leaning over the sink. "Jay, I think some of the officers downstairs needed a recent picture. I'll send Erin down in a bit."

Jay nodded again, knowing he was unable to find the words to comfort his partner. He rose and headed down the steps. Hank approached Erin carefully, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We're gonna find her, kid."

Erin turned her head and looked up at her boss and father figure with tear-filled eyes. "Hank, this is literally her worse nightmare come true. We told her that we would keep her safe, and-" Her voice cracked, "and we failed to keep that promise."

Hank brought her in for a hug, holding her gently against his worn t shirt. Erin sobbed into his shoulder, unable to keep it together any longer.

"Hey Sarge, I got a hit!" Atwater called, standing from his desk, showing Ruzek.

* * *

Groggily, Kate opened her eyes. Her head hurt and she was cold, having left her classroom without her coat. She lifted her throbbing head and peered at her surroundings, quickly remembering that she had been taken from school because Jay and Erin were hurt. She was on a bed atop the covers, her shoes still on. It looked like a bedroom to Kate, but she had no idea where she was or who she was with.

The little girl gingerly pushed herself off the bed, peering into the bathroom for a sign of anyone she recognized. Panic set in as the handle to the door turned. She froze and a tall figure entered the room. Kate recognized the man immediately, his sour scent assaulting her senses and sending her up against the wall. "Hey there, Katie." The man's deep voice reverberated against the flimsy walls of the motel room, "Did you miss your Uncle Bobby?"

Kate let out a whimper as the man took another step closer to her. "I was sorry to hear about your dad. Shame he had to die, just like your mother. What was his name…Jay. Detective Halstead. Always too bad when an officer of the law bites the dust." Bobby let out a snicker, watching the little girl's eyes fill with tears. "Don't worry, Mr. P and I are gonna make everything better."

She trembled against the wall, unable to press herself back any further. "Come here, Katie." Bobby held a hand out but Kate pulled her arm back and shook her head vigorously.

"No thank you," she whispered, tears now streaming down her cheeks, "I-I don't want to."

"You don't have a choice." The large man grabbed her arm and tugged. Kate yelped and squeezed her eyes shut as his calloused hand made contact with the side of her head.

* * *

Atwater's search of Paul Jackson's known associates matched the fake officer John to a man named Kyle Anders, a young man whose cousin had been a friend to Jackson but was killed distributing Jackson's drugs. The woman who posed as DCFS was Jackson's current girlfriend, Sarah Harding. TSA had records of Anders and Harding, with a sleeping Kate in tow, boarding a flight that landed at La Guardia Airport in New York. Unfortunately for Intelligence, the flight had deplaned in Queens a half hour before the flights from O'Hare had been stopped on the tarmac.

Hank was in contact with Lieutenant Oliva Benson from NYPD's Special Victims Unit, utilizing resources and connections from both NYPD and CPD to find Kate. Jay and Erin were planning on taking the next flight out of Chicago, but were stuck in the airport due to a massive late October snowstorm that was burying the city in over a foot of snow. Driving didn't appear to be a good option either, as the storm had caused massive delays that would turn a twelve-hour drive into a day-long trek.

Kate had been missing for nearly 24 hours before Intelligence discovered that she had been taken to New York, and SVU was hard at work trying to pinpoint her exact location. SVU held Kyle Anders in custody but he was refusing to talk without speaking with a lawyer and making a deal.

"Erin, I promise you I will give you a call as soon as I hear anything," Detective Amanda Rollins promised, gripping her phone tightly. As a mother herself, Rollins was sympathetic to Erin's position. She disconnected the call and turned to her lieutenant, "I can't imagine what they're going through."

Benson shook her head, "Carisi and Fin are canvassing the area where Anders was picked up. He's still in there with his mouthpiece but I'm hoping that starts talking soon."

* * *

"It's only a matter of time until they get here," A harsh voice hissed loudly, "We don't have time to set everything up here." Kate struggled to open her eyes. Her mouth was dry and her head was still pounding as she blurrily regarded Paul Jackson and Bobby Hannigan arguing in front of her. She was laying on the bed again, face down in the musty pillow. "We need to get out of here. I'm taking Sarah and we'll meet you at the country house."

"Are you sure, boss?" Bobby looked over at Kate, who was staring at them through swollen eyes. "You think I can make it, just me and the kid?"

"You're going to have to. We got about a half a mil comin' in from the next webcast, so you better deliver her." Jackson cocked his gun and pressed it into his partner's chest, "Or else."

Bobby nodded intensely and Jackson lowered the gun. "Good. Now I'm gonna say goodbye to my girl." Jackson grinned widely at Kate, who scrambled to her knees, wincing at the pain in her left arm.

"Katie, I'm leaving. Come give me a hug goodbye." Jackson approached the bed as Kate backed up against the headboard. "Don't be like that."

Kate shook her head and whimpered as Jackson grabbed her by the arms and roughly pulled her against him. She wriggled and tried to pull away, attempting to kick him. "Hey!" He shouted and twisted her arm. Kate let out a shriek of pain and pushed away, tumbling off the other side of the twin bed with a thump.


	12. Chapter 12

**Trigger warning for child abuse.  
**

"They've got her in the Gold Crowne Motel on 129th Street," Benson called out, motioning for her team to follow her, "Vest up, these guys are armed and extremely dangerous."

"NYPD!" Detective Carisi pounded on the flimsy motel room door, ECU and the rest of his team behind him. Upon a nod from his lieutenant, Carisi kicked open the door and entered the room. "Body!" he shouted, observing Hannigan's large figure slumped in the corner of the room.

"Clear." Rollins put down her weapon and glanced around the room, "Kate isn't in here."

"The gunshot wound looks self-inflicted," Benson reported, standing up from her crouched position in front of the deceased, "Maybe she got away?"

"One person says that he heard the gunshot about a half hour ago. That's more than enough time for the kid to make a break for it." Fin stated, poking his head into the crime scene.

"Canvas the building," Benson ordered, heading out the door, "She can't have gotten far."

* * *

Kate curled up in the corner of the basement, gingerly holding her left arm with her right. Her head was throbbing and her whole body ached, urging her to close her eyes. Bobby Hannigan had told her that Jackson was going to come back for her as he lifted the gun to his temple. She knew that she had to get out of that room as fast as possible. She could hear pounding footsteps in the distance and knew that Mr. P was going to get her soon. Kate cowered in the corner and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to not think about how Jay and Erin had been killed.

"Hey, Liv, I think she's down here!" Rollins called, carefully entering the basement as she caught sight of the shaking child at the far end of the room. "Kate?"

The little girl didn't make a sound and didn't open her eyes. "Kate?" Rollins asked again, stopping a few feet in front of her, "My name is Amanda, I'm a friend of Erin and Jay's. I'm here to help you, I promise."

Kate opened her eyes slowly, taking in the blurry figure in front of her. The woman wore a vest and held a gun in one hand. She gasped and tried to back away but had pressed her body as far into the wall as possible. "It's okay, sweetheart, I'm a Detective with the NYPD, just like your parents. They're really worried about you and are on their way to get you."

She shook her head adamantly, "No, Erin and Jay are _dead._ Mr. P said they got shot." Tears trailed down her pale cheeks as she regarded Amanda's kind expression.

"No, darling, he was lying to you." Amanda reached a hand out carefully, causing Kate to elicit a small squeak. "I promise that I'm not going to hurt you. I've worked with Erin and Jay before, and Detective Dawson and Sergeant Voight-"

"S-sergeant Voight?" Kate asked, becoming increasingly convinced that Amanda was someone she could trust, "You know him?"

"Mm-hm." Amanda smiled, "My boss, Olivia, is friends with him. And he's been out here and I've been out to Chicago to work with the Intelligence Unit."

Kate looked skeptically at Amanda, pulling her throbbing arm closer to her chest, "How do I know you're not kidding like Officer John?"

Amanda grimaced, realizing that the little girl had just been tricked by a criminal impersonating a police officer. She thought for a moment before reaching for her cell phone. Kate flinched backwards, anticipating that Amanda would hit her. The detective quickly raised her arms. "It's okay, I was just getting my cell phone to show you a picture." Amanda scrolled through her pictures before finding the image of the two units that came together in Chicago. It had been the first time the two units worked together, since the occasions with the sex trafficking ring or Yates and Nadia didn't warrant any picture taking. "See, that's me and Erin and Jay."

Kate observed the picture and let out a breath. "Does your arm hurt?" Amanda asked, noticing how Kate had her left arm cradled against her chest. The little girl nodded slowly, still deciding if she could trust the blonde detective.

"Hey Amanda, you got her?" Carisi burst into the basement, Fin on his heels. Kate let out a whimper and shrank back into the corner at the sight of the two men.

Amanda held up a hand to stop her team's advances. "Yeah. Get Liv, would you?" She smiled softly at Kate, holding up the picture again. "See this lady right here? That's my boss, Olivia, and she is good friends with Sergeant Voight. She's gonna give him a call."

Kate glanced nervously at the male members of SVU as they retreated from the basement. "C-can you call Erin and Jay?"

Amanda nodded, "I can try. I think they're on a plane to New York right now, so I might not be able to reach them, but we'll give it a shot, okay?" Kate nodded her assent and watched carefully as Amanda dialed Erin's number.

"Hey, you've reached Detective Erin Lindsay. Leave a message and I'll get back to you." Kate breathed another sigh of relief when she heard her mother's voice.

"Erin, it's Amanda Rollins. I'm here with Kate and she's okay. I'm assuming you're in the air right now but I'll try back in a bit." Amanda smiled at the little girl, whose breathing was evening out from terrified pants to softer wheezes. "See? Erin and Jay are on their way." The detective tentatively placed a hand on Kate's knee. "You know, I have a little girl of my own. Her name is Jesse and she's almost two years old."

Kate glanced over Amanda's shoulder and saw another woman advancing toward them. "Hey Liv." Amanda turned her head to greet her boss, "This is Kate. She's Erin and Jay's little girl." She turned back to Kate, "This is my boss, Olivia, and she's friends with Sergeant Voight."

"Hi Sweetheart." Olivia cooed, sinking to her knees beside Amanda. "It looks like you've got a bit of an ouchie there." The seasoned lieutenant gestured to Kate's left arm that was swollen and her other arm that was beginning to bruise. Kate looked up at the woman, eyes still wet with tears. "I just got off the phone with Sergeant Voight. He's so glad you're okay and he said that Erin and Jay should be in New York in a few hours."

"They're okay?" Kate asked quietly as another tear escaped out of the corner of her eye, "Erin and Jay?"

"Mm-hm, they're just fine. They can't wait to see you," Olivia paused, taking in the haggard appearance of the child in front of her, "Do you think you can come with me and Amanda? We should get your arm checked out and by then Jay and Erin should be in New York."

Kate nodded, carefully attempting to stand without having to use her injured arm. Amanda helped her up and then boosted the child into her arms. Kate leaned into her embrace thankfully, relieved that she was finally safe. The dull ache in her head slowly pulled her into a light sleep.

* * *

"Okay kiddo, can you hold out your arms for me?" A young female doctor at Bellevue Hospital was attempting to take a look at Kate's injured arms, but the little girl was reluctant to remove them from their place pressed against her chest.

"It's okay, darling. The doctor just needs to take a look." Amanda gently rubbed Kate's shoulder. She gingerly extended her arms, wincing in pain.

"Alrighty." The doctor examined Kate's left arm, and then her right, "Well, it looks like you might have a broken wrist and a nasty sprain. We're going to get you an x-ray just to be sure, sound good?"

Kate's eyes widened in fear at the mention of an x-ray. "It's just a picture of your arm, sweetie." Olivia reassured her, standing by the doorway. She had just spoken to Voight about the unknown whereabouts of Paul Jackson. While 'Uncle Bobby' may have been dead, the main offender was in the wind for the second time, which frustrated Voight to no end.

"W-when are Jay and Erin gonna be here?" Kate asked tearfully as the doctor flashed the light in her eyes. She drew back at the harsh light.

"Soon, sweetheart." Amanda promised. She looked at her boss, who nodded. "There was a big snowstorm in Chicago, so it took a little bit for them to take off, but they're on their way."

"Does your head hurt, Kate?" The doctor asked, making notes in the chart. The little girl nodded slowly. "Do you know if you hit your head?"

"Uncle Bobby hit me. And Mr. P." Kate whispered, tears now trickling down her cheeks, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby, you don't have to be sorry." Amanda stroked Kate's back gently, "It's not your fault."

The doctor ordered a portable x-ray of both of Kate's arms and determined she had a fracture on the left and a sprain on the right. After putting on a splint and a hard cast, Kate was discharged with the diagnosis of a mild concussion and bruised ribs. They drew blood as well after Kate described her experience.

"I had juice and then I was sleepy. And I woke up and my head hurt. Uncle Bobby was there. And he hit me. I woke up and Mr. P was there and he was gonna hurt me but then the lady came in and he didn't. And then she told him that the police got the fake police man and I fell asleep and when I woke up Mr. P and Uncle Bobby were arguing." Kate reiterated her story to Olivia in her office back at the 16th precinct. She was sitting on the couch, arms propped up on two overstuffed pillows. "And then Mr. P left and Uncle Bobby said he was coming back to get me and Uncle Bobby _shot_ himself," She shuddered at the traumatic memory, "And I went to hide." Kate looked up at the detective and the lieutenant nervously. They were sitting in front of her and watching her every move intently.

"Do you remember anything else?" Amanda asked, looking up from her notepad. Kate shook her head slowly, shifting her gaze from Amanda to Olivia.

"Does your head hurt?" Olivia stroked her cheek sympathetically. "You must be exhausted."

Kate shrugged and stifled a yawn. "I don't want to sleep." Her eyes filled with tears, "I just want Erin and Jay." Her voice cracked and tears spilled over her bruised cheek. "I want to go home."

"Their plane landed a little while ago, they'll be here soon." Olivia promised, just as knock came on her office door. Kate jumped and shrank back against the couch.

Amanda pulled open the door to reveal two breathless Chicago detectives. "Where is she?" Erin asked urgently, glancing around the office until her eyes fell on her little girl. "Oh, baby." Tears filled Erin's eyes as she made her way over to Kate, sinking down in front of the child. Jay followed on her heels, resting his hand on Erin's shoulder.

"Hey, Squirt." Jay swallowed thickly, taking note of the splint, cast and bruised cheekbone of his little girl.

"Mommy. Daddy." Kate leaned forward into Erin's arms. Erin burst into tears, holding her little girl tenderly in her embrace. Jay wrapped his arms around his girls and allowed a few tears to creep out of the corners of his eyes. "C-can I call you that?" Kate pulled back and looked from Jay to Erin nervously.

"Of course," Jay replied, placing a kiss on the crown of his baby's head, "I've been waiting to be your daddy my whole life," He kissed Erin's temple, "And Erin's going to be your forever mommy."

Jay's statement only caused Erin to cry harder, burying her face in her daughter's soft hair. "I am so glad we found you," Erin choked out, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I love you, Kate, so much."

"I love you too, Mommy." Kate turned her head and kissed her mother's cheek. She relaxed into Erin's embrace, allowing the gentle ministrations of her father to lull her to sleep.

* * *

"A concussion and two broken arms?" Hank couldn't believe what he was hearing from his detective. "I swear to God, when I get my hands on that bastard-"

"I know," Erin mused, sitting next to Jay on the couch in Olivia's living room. Kate was fast asleep on his shoulder and she was running her fingers through the little girl's snarled locks. It was well after four in the morning and their flight wasn't scheduled to leave until nine. Olivia graciously offered her apartment to rest before heading back to Chicago while she remained at the precinct, closing up the case on Bobby Hannigan. Her son, Noah, and his babysitter Lucy were asleep in his bedroom, and Erin and Jay were trying to be as quiet as possible.

Kate had been exhausted and finally succumbed to sleep in Jay's arms after retelling her story for the third time that day. Both Jay and Erin were immensely relieved to have their little girl back, ecstatic that she was calling them Mommy and Daddy and broken hearted at how she had been treated. "Poor thing has got to be in a ton of pain," Jay murmured after Erin hung up the phone and snuggled into his shoulder, "When we get him, I'm going to need fifteen minutes in the cage."

"I don't think Hank will let him make it to the district." Erin sighed, "At least that god-awful 'Uncle Bobby' is dead. And they've got the fake officer in custody. Barba's going for ten to fifteen for kidnapping in the first."

"Good. I hope he rots." Jay spat, quickly lowering his voice as Kate stirred on his shoulder, "I just want to get her home and never let her out of my sight again."

Erin nodded in agreement. "I don't know if she'll be able to go back to preschool. I mean, this experience on top of everything else she's gone through?" Tears filled Erin's eyes, "Every time I think about how strong she is, I get angry because she _shouldn't_ have to be so brave."

"I know, babe," Jay pressed a kiss in Erin's hair, "I know. But we got her now, and she's ours."

"Is it okay that she calls me Mommy?" Erin turned to her partner, lines of worry etched on her face, "I mean, we're not married and she's _your_ biological daughter-"

"Erin, nothing has ever made me happier," Jay leaned over and kissed her lips, "I want us to be a family. I want to give her the best life possible, and that includes you."

Erin smiled, cuddling back against Jay's shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you, too." Jay wound an arm around Erin's shoulders, pulling her closer to him and Kate.

* * *

 **Quick note: This story is going to be around ~30ish chapters. I have most of it already written and know how it ends BUT i need a chapter or two to bring it all together. SOOOO if anyone has any ideas they would like to see/think would be good, hit me up. If I end up using it i would hundo p give ya credit. pce n thx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Whew. Chapter lucky 13. Bless up.  
**

 **Bat signal still up - if anyone has any suggestions for a fun chapter or two let me know! also I didn't realize how fun it is to get reviews before doing this so please tell me what you think!**

 **Trigger warning for child abuse.**

* * *

The flight landed at 10am in Chicago, greeting the couple with a brutally cold wind and nearly 18 inches of snow. Kate was barely aware of the flight, continuing to snooze against Jay for the entire trip. He sat in the back of the Sierra with the little girl in his lap, draped with his coat. Neither Jay nor Erin wanted to put the child into a car seat, so Jay pulled two seatbelts across his lap for dual safety. Erin carefully drove along the slick Chicago streets, glancing in the rearview mirror every so often to be sure her baby was in her partner's arms, safe and sound.

"Jay!" Will exclaimed, moving from his position of sitting outside their apartment. He leapt to his feet and embraced Erin tightly, "Thank god you got her."

Jay smiled at his brother's concern for his niece. "She's going to be okay."

Will let out a breath and followed Erin into the apartment. "I brought coffee, bagels and some stuff for Kate." He gestured to a bag that appeared to be full of books and assorted medical supplies.

"Thanks, man." Jay nodded in appreciation, gently tucking Kate's hair behind her ear. "I think we should all eat something, babe." He turned to Erin who was already pulling cream cheese out of the fridge.

"You wanna wake her?" Erin poured water into a small plastic cup and sliced a bagel in half, popping it into the toaster and tapping the counter impatiently. "God, I'm _starving._ "

"Hey, Squirt." Jay kissed the side of his little girl's head and gently rubbed her shoulder, "Wake up kiddo, it's time for breakfast."

Kate groggily opened her eyes, catching sight of her uncle sitting at the breakfast bar sipping from a to go cup. "Uncle Will?" she mumbled, glancing around the apartment, "We're home?"

"Mm-hm, we're home." Jay smiled at Erin, "How does a bagel sound? Maybe a banana and some strawberries too, hm?"

Kate nodded and lifted her head off Jay's shoulder. "Hey there, Goosey." Will flashed the little girl a smile. She widened her eyes and smiled back. "It's good to see you, little lady."

"Good to see you too." Kate replied as Jay adjusted the little girl in his arms so that she was sitting up. "I went to a hospital but you weren't there."

"I know." Will's eyes darkened, trying not to convey his sadness to the little girl, "But I'm here now and I heard that you're going to be all better in no time."

Kate nodded as her father set her on the chair and Erin slid a half a bagel in front of her. "Bananas and strawberries coming right up." Erin stated, pulling open the fridge.

"Thank you!" Kate gingerly lifted the cup of water to her mouth using her splinted arm. Unfortunately, her grasp was inhibited by the bulky plastic and the cup tumbled to the ground, spraying water all over the counter and dripping onto the floor. "I'm sorry!" Kate exclaimed, tears forming in her eyes and quickly making their way down her face, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"No worries, baby." Erin rushed to comfort the little girl while Jay quickly wiped up the mess. "Just a spill. No big deal." Kate sniffled, still unconvinced that she wasn't in trouble.

"All good, Squirt." Jay tossed a towel into the sink and Will set about filling a kiddie water bottle for Kate. "Thanks, man." He accepted the bottle from his brother, "Here, this may be easier to use while you have the cast and splint." Jay wiped the tears off her cheeks and kissed the top of Kate's head.

"This is better." Kate replied, sniffling subsiding as she took a drink from the bottle. "Thanks Daddy."

Jay grinned at Will, who looked shocked at his brother's new name. 'Daddy?' Will mouthed, earning a nod from his brother. Jay gestured to Erin and mouthed 'Mommy.' His brother's jaw dropped as he turned to Erin, giving her a thumbs up. Erin rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Oh, Will, we brought back the files from Bellevue if you wouldn't mind taking a look." Erin reached into the tote bag that Olivia had given her to carry Kate's antibiotic prescription and documents.

"No prob." Will accepted the file and began to flip through it while Kate finished her bagel and fruit.

"Can I take a shower, Mommy?" Kate asked after the last bite of strawberry was finished. "I want to wash off the bad men."

Erin and Jay exchanged looks. _Of course_ the little girl felt disgusting, having been in the presence of those horrible people. "Sure, baby." Erin nodded, swallowing the growing lump in her throat before realizing that the child had a cast and a splint, meaning one arm couldn't get wet.

"Actually, a bath may be better." Will piped up, digging around in the bag that he brought. "You can put this on your arm so the cast doesn't get wet." He produced a plastic sleeve and handed it to Erin.

"Are you okay to try a bath today, Kate?" Erin asked, taking note of the child's worried expression.

"Okay." Kate looked skeptically at her mother but nodded in approval. Erin carefully lifted her daughter off the seat and carried her to the bathroom, leaving the Halstead brothers in the kitchen.

It took all of Erin's strength not to burst into tears at the sight of the bruises that stood starkly out on Kate's pale skin. The upper parts of her arms not covered with a cast or split bore bruises where the criminal's fingers had been and her ribs were black and blue. A large purple bruise was forming on the lower right side of Kate's abdomen, likely the site of where her ribs had been damaged. "Alrighty babes, the water is nice and warm." Erin gently eased Kate out of her underpants and socks, overwhelmed by how frightened the little girl in front of her appeared. "I'm going to be right here, okay? Nothing bad is going to happen to you in the tub, I promise." Erin knelt down and carefully removed the splint.

"Okay." Kate whispered, raising her arms gingerly so Erin could lift her in. Erin was sure to keep the cast dry and was successful, largely in part to the plastic cover Will brought. She cautiously wet Kate's hair and washed it, sure to ask permission for every action as to not cause her daughter any fear. Once the little girl was all clean, she had grown comfortable in the tub, even smiling at her mother. "The tub is okay, Mommy." Kate informed her after Erin wrapped her up in a fluffy flowered towel, "I stopped being scared."

"Oh yeah?" Erin grinned, lightly drying Kate's damp tresses, "Not too bad, huh?"

Kate nodded, "I feel safe with you."

"Jesus Christ, a fractured wrist, sprained arm, concussion and bruised ribs?" Will looked up from Kate's file and stared at his brother in disbelief. "Who the _fuck_ did this to her?"

Jay gripped the edge of the countertop, trying to keep his emotions in check. "The same bastards who hurt her in the first place."

"Tell me you got them." Will glanced back down at the file and up at his brother again when Jay didn't immediately reply.

"One guy shot himself, another is in custody but the main offender is in the wind. Again." Jay's knuckles were turning white as he recalled what his baby had been through and that Jackson had evaded justice for the second time.

"Shit." Will murmured, running a hand over his face. "But no signs of sexual assault."

Jay shook his head. "No, thank God." He pinched the bridge between his eyes. "Uh, would you check her out for me? Just-I trust you and we weren't at the hospital in New York-"

"Not a problem." Will held up his hand, "I'll take a look at her ribs and head tonight. And I can look at the sprain but you'll have to bring her to Med in a few days anyway for a look at the wrist."

Jay nodded, "They've got her on antibiotics as well, just in case of any infection she may have picked up."

"That's probably a good call." Will flipped over another page. "It looks like she may have been given a large amount of sedative given the fact that traces of it showed up in her bloodwork. It's probably contributing to her exhaustion." He closed the file. "Don't worry man, I think she's going to be okay."

"Thanks bro." Jay took a sip from the coffee cup. The brothers Halstead sat silently drinking coffee, mulling over the brave little girl in the next room.

Erin emerged from the bathroom, carrying a tired Kate in her arms. She was clad in a pair of light green pajamas with flowers on them that had been a gift from Sergeant Platt. Kate sleepily clutched her mother's top, barely able to keep her eyes open. "Little bit tired, huh, Squirt?" Jay smiled at the little girl before accepting her from his partner. Kate nodded drowsily and nestled closer to her father.

"I think her head hurts." Erin informed the brothers, "Does your head hurt baby?"

Kate shrugged and yawned. "Is it okay if Uncle Will takes a look at your ribs and head?" Jay asked, shifting the little girl so he could place her on the counter. She nodded again and shivered.

"Okay, kiddo, so it's really important that you tell us when something hurts." Will looked into Kate's heavy-lidded eyes. "I know you're really sleepy, but whenever you don't feel good or you're hurting, I need you to tell your mom and dad so that they can help you feel better."

"Okay." Kate mumbled, opening her eyes a little wider.

"Good. Now, does your head hurt?" Will gently touched her chin and tilted her head up.

"Uh-huh." Kate replied, squinting at the kitchen light. "And my arms." Jay and Erin exchanged glances, glad that their little girl was finally comfortable enough to say what was hurting. "My ribs only hurt sometimes."

"Like if you cough or laugh?" Will asked and the child nodded. "Alrighty, can I take a quick look?" She nodded her approval, looking nervously to her parents, who offered reassuring smiles. Dr. Halstead carefully raised her pajama top and examined her ribs. There was a large purple bruise darkening and Kate flinched when he touched it. "Okay, it looks to me like your ribs are already healing. Can I look at your arm?"

Kate held her arms out in front of her for her uncle to examine. He carefully held the splinted wrist in his hand. "The swelling is staying down, which is a good sign." Will informed Erin and Jay. "I'd give her the antibiotics and prescribe a nice nap." He winked at his niece who offered a tired smile in return.

"Thanks man." Jay kissed the top of Kate's wet head. "How does a nap sound, Squirt?"

She nodded and raised her arms, wrapping them tenderly around Jay's neck. "C-can I nap with you and Mommy?"

Erin smiled. She was exhausted as well and could definitely use a nice nap. "That sounds like an amazing idea, baby."

"I'll leave you three to get some rest." Will kissed his niece's cheek and gave Erin's shoulder a squeeze. "I'll see you later. Give me a call if you need anything or have any questions."

"Will do. Thanks again, bro." Jay waved to his brother before settling down on the couch. He shifted Kate into Erin's lap and draped his girlfriend's legs over his own before pulling his girls closer. "Comfy, babe?"

"Mm." Erin responded, cuddling into his side, banding one arm gently around her daughter's waist. "So comfy."

* * *

Later that night, Jay was still awake on the sofa. Erin had fallen asleep a little less than an hour ago beside him, but he wasn't ready to get up and go to bed. In all that had happened in the past week, sleep was the last thing on his mind.

"Daddy?" Kate whispered, wandering out of her bedroom into the living room. The TV was on, showing the 11pm news, but Jay wasn't really watching. He was listening to the gentle breathing of his sleeping girlfriend and thinking about the horrible person who was still out there.

"Hey Squirt. What are you doing up?" Jay turned to face his daughter who was slowly making her way over to him. "Did you have a nightmare?"

She shook her head, "I hurt." She murmured after her father helped settle her into his lap. Kate rested her head against his chest, supporting her injured arms gingerly on her knees.

He looked down at his little girl, concern swimming in his eyes. "Where do you hurt exactly?" Jay cupped her cheek with his palm. He glanced over to Erin, who was in a deep sleep leaning against the cushions.

Kate raised her arms slightly. "They ache. And my head."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," He ran his hand over her small head, "I know it hurts, but I can't give you any medicine until tomorrow morning." He sighed, frustrated that there really wasn't anything that he could do for his hurting child. Will had advised a baby aspirin which Kate had taken, but it didn't seem to have the desired effect.

"When will it stop?" Kate whimpered, desperation clear in her voice.

"It's going to hurt for a bit." Jay said honestly, "But soon you'll feel better, I promise. These things just take time."

Kate sighed and snuggled against him. "I'm sorry I made you and Mommy so worried."

"Oh, squirt, it's not your fault. _Nothing_ that happened to you was your fault. And Mommy and I are so sorry that it did and we are _never_ going to let anything like that happen ever again." Jay swallowed the lump in his throat, "We're going to keep you safe."

"But you said that last time," Kate looked up at her father tearfully, "And-and they still got me."

"I know." Jay subconsciously tightened his grip around his daughter, "But we are going to do everything we can to make sure it never happens again. We love you too much to let anything happen to you." Kate relaxed at her father's words, closing her eyes while Jay stroked her head. "It's okay now." Jay toyed with her soft hair. "I'm here, and I'll always protect you."

Kate opened her eyes and smiled softly, but then frowned. "But the mean men are always there when I sleep. It's so scary. I can't get away from them, I just can't!" Tears filled her eyes again as she recalled the many nightmares she endured.

"Hey, hey." Jay stroked her arm. "If the mean men get into your dreams, you come get me or Mommy, okay? You stay with us, and we'll keep you safe."

"Promise?" Kate whispered drowsily, closing her eyes again, "You won't be mad?"

"I promise. We could never be mad at you, Squirt. Whenever you're scared or hurting, I want you to tell me or Mommy, okay? That way we can try to help." Jay breathed a sigh of relief as he felt his daughter nod against his chest. He stayed on the couch and inhaled the scent of Kate's shampoo, grateful to have his little girl in his arms again.

After a while, Jay felt his daughter's body go slack and succumb to sleep. Carefully, Jay shifted her to carry her back to bed. "Can I stay here with you and Mommy?" Kate whispered, her eyes still closed, "I don't want to be alone."

Jay felt his heart clench as he settled back against the couch cushions. Erin had moved so that she was snuggled against his shoulder. "I'll take you and Mommy to bed a little later."

* * *

Jay, Erin and Kate spent the night on the couch. Kate slept directly atop Jay's chest with her arms resting on the back of the cushions as it was the only way to soothe the pain. When Jay awoke with a twinge in his neck he didn't even care, relieved that his daughter was safely in his arms and his girlfriend was cuddled up against his shoulder. "We slept on the couch." Erin mumbled, cracking one eye open after slowly waking up to the sun streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows.

"Mm." Jay replied, gently caressing Kate's back, "It was the only position that she was somewhat comfortable in."

Erin smiled and yawned. "You're such a good daddy."

After a few minutes, Kate opened her eyes and tiredly glanced at Erin. "Morning, baby." She leaned over at kissed Kate's forehead, "How did you sleep?"

"Daddy's comfy." Kate replied, her head still nestled on Jay's chest. "We slept on the couch?"

"We did." Jay ran his fingers through Kate's soft hair, "How are you feeling?" She shrugged in response, tentatively lifting her arms and bringing them to her lap.

"This one doesn't hurt," Kate held up her fractured wrist, "And this one only a little."

"And your head?" Erin asked, slowly pushing herself off the cushions, "Does your head hurt?"

"No," Kate offered a small smile, "Just a little sleepy."

"Are you hungry?" Erin stood and stretched, feeling her back crack slightly, "I'm starving." She picked up her cell phone, glancing at the many texted she received from her team, expressing their well-wishes for Kate's recovery. Kate nodded, still laying on Jay's chest. Erin headed for the kitchen and rifled through the pantry and fridge, holding up an almost-empty box of cereal.

"We forgot to go grocery shopping." Jay mused, standing with Kate still in his arms. "We should go later today, even though it's Sunday and the place will be mobbed."

"It's Sunday?" Kate lifted her head and looked over at Erin, "Doesn't that mean we go to Sergeant Voight's house?"

Erin and Jay exchanged looks, silently discussing the prospect of surprising Voight with a visit. They hadn't thought about how they were going to tell Erin's almost-father that Kate was now calling his daughter "Mommy", nor had they considered what his reaction might be. However, keeping Kate's life as normal as possible seemed to be the best course of action, so Erin nodded. "You're absolutely right, how could we forget?" She paused, glancing to the window, "I'm not sure the ducks will be at the pond though, with all the snow."

"They probably flew somewhere warmer." Kate informed her mother, "Mi-gray-ton."

Jay grinned, balancing the smart little girl on his hip. "How do you know about migration?"

"I read it in a book. When it gets cold, the birdies all fly south where it's warmer because they little." Kate said seriously, "And their ponds get frozen so there is no place to swim."

"You're so smart." Erin smiled, extending her arms so that Jay could pass the little girl to her, "How about we get changed into some warm clothes before heading to Hank's, okay?"

* * *

"Did you text him?" Jay hissed, hoping that Kate wouldn't overhear him. Erin was driving carefully along the snowy streets, avoiding the snowbanks. She nodded, glancing in the rearview mirror. Kate was looking out the window, her injured arms resting on a pillow in her lap.

"He said to come over whenever." Erin pulled into Hank's driveway, parking her Jeep behind the matte black Escalade. "And I'm assuming that means it's fine that we're at his house at seven in the morning."

"We did bring bagels." Jay lifted the brown paper bag. Erin chuckled and took the bag so that Jay could carry Kate. "Okay, kiddo, it's really slippery and I don't want you to fall on your arms, so I'm going to carry you, sound good?"

Kate nodded, eagerly raising her arms and wrapping them around Jay's neck. "It's cold." She commented, shivering slightly as she was removed from her car seat.

"We're heading inside really quick." Erin promised, leading the way to Hank's front door. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, brushing her boots on the mat. "Hank?" she called into the house, shedding her winter jacket.

"Kitchen!" Hank called back. Erin hung Kate's coat atop hers and took the little girl's hand.

"Sergeant Voight!" Kate exclaimed, her face breaking out into a wide grin when she saw her friend. Hank was standing at the stove, flipping pancakes.

"Hey kiddo." He returned the smile, squatting down so Kate could give him a hug. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Me too!" Kate pulled back, "You makin' pancakes?"

"I am. Do you want to help?" He looked up at Erin, who was smiling just as wide as the little girl, "I know you've had some practice."

Kate nodded furiously but paused, glancing down at her injured arms. "Oh. But I got two bad stirrin' arms." She extended her little wrists so that Hank could see, "I can't hold stuff too good."

"Hm." Hank tapped his chin, "Do you want to hold the bowl while I stir?" Kate nodded in agreement, accepting a boost to sit on the counter.

"Careful up there, Squirt." Jay said, accepting the mug of coffee that Erin poured for him, "Thanks, Er."

"Sergeant Voight, guess what." Kate said, holding the bowl in place on the countertop.

"What?" Hank asked, scooping pancake batter and pouring in onto the sizzling pan, "Not more broken bones, I hope."

Kate shook her head, "Nope. I met your friend Olivia in New York." Erin and Jay exchanged amused glances, watching Hank and Kate interact.

"Did you really?"

"Uh-huh. She was really nice and said that you guys were friends! But she's a lieutenant, so does that mean she's your boss?" Kate looked up at him quizzically. Jay stifled a laugh at Kate's ever-impressive intellect.

Hank chuckled, "Well, we work in different cities, so we're just friends. But sometimes our departments work together when we need help in New York or they need help in Chicago."

"Oh." Kate nodded in understanding. She looked over at Erin and Jay, who were sitting at the kitchen table, talking quietly. "Guess what, _again._ "

"What?" Hank volleyed back playfully. He slipped a few pancakes onto a plate before turning to face the little girl. "I'm not good at guessing."

"Jay and Erin are my Daddy and Mommy now!" Kate informed him. The detectives snapped to attention at the sound of their names, Jay nearly choking on his coffee.

"Are they now?" Hank asked, looking over at his daughter and her boyfriend with a somewhat-surprised expression. Kate nodded adamantly. "Well, it's about time, isn't it?" Hank grinned and Jay let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Erin beamed at her almost-father's approval. "Okay, who's hungry for pancakes?"


	14. Chapter 14

**A little bit a family time cuteness to make up for the drama that is to come.**

In the days following Kate's abduction, Erin and Jay were reluctant to let her out of their sight. She accompanied them to the district, her parents still too nervous to bring her back to preschool. Jay and Erin switched on and off staying back at the district with Kate, the little girl too scared of being taken away that she wouldn't even stay with Platt or Hank. However, on Halloween, both Erin and Jay were needed down at a crime scene. "Do you think you can stay with Sergeant Platt, Squirt?" Jay asked gently, squatting down in front of his daughter, "Mommy and I both need to help, but we'll be back in a few hours, okay?"

"Sergeant Platt's gonna keep me safe?" Kate asked, looking up at the older woman who was speaking with Erin.

Jay nodded. "Yep. You're going to read a few books and play a few games, and then Erin and I will be back so we can all change into our costumes." Kate continued to look skeptical, but nodded her approval. She hugged Jay, wrapping her bandaged arms around his neck as he stood and carried her over to Platt. "Okay, so Kate, you and Sergeant Platt are going to play for a bit, right?"

Kate nodded again, lifting her head off of Jay's shoulder. "Bye Daddy." She gently kissed his cheek and squeezed him gently.

"I love you, kiddo." Jay placed a hand on the back of her head, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. "We'll be back soon, okay?"

"Don't forget about me." Erin accepted her little girl from Jay and held Kate closely. "Don't worry baby, you'll be safe. I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy." Kate hugged her mother back. "You gonna get the bad guys?"

"Mm-hm, that's exactly what they're going to do." Platt piped up, "And we are going to read a story and then make sure all the patrolmen are behaving, isn't that right?"

Kate smiled and took Platt's hand with her splinted arm. "Bye Mommy, bye Daddy!" She called, heading down the steps.

* * *

Erin and Jay made it back to the district in time to take Kate home and get her changed into her tiger onesie. She looked absolutely adorable, despite the two casted arms, making tiny claws with her hands and saying "rawr" for pictures. Erin surprised Kate by dressing up like her favorite food. "A banana!" Kate squealed as Erin emerged from her bedroom, dressed in the costume that was on loan from Ruzek. Why he had a banana costume was a question neither Erin or Jay wanted to ask, but the grin from the little girl was well worth the trouble.

"Do I look delicious?" Erin asked, Kate giggling away.

"I'll say." Jay remarked, coming out of the bathroom in a monkey costume. Kate and Erin privately decided that Jay should dress up like a monkey police officer, so he was wearing his badge and hat from his blues, along with the brown monkey one piece suit.

"Detective Monkey!" Kate shrieked, clapping her hands as best she could. She burst out laughing, causing Erin and Jay to chuckle along with her amusement. "So much better than a chicken!"

"How come Erin got to be the banana, Squirt?" Jay asked, putting his hands on his hips.

"Because you're a funnier monkey." Kate told him seriously. "Do you think Sergeant Voight is gonna wear a costume too?"

Erin glanced at Jay. "I don't know baby. He's not big on costumes, but he's excited to go trick-or-treating with us." Kate had told Hank that she wanted him to come trick-or-treating with them, and after the experience she had, Voight couldn't say no. His neighborhood was also better suited for it, so he was having the little family over for a Halloween dinner.

"Well, aren't you the cutest little tiger I've ever seen!" Voight grinned at Kate as he pulled open the front door to Kate going "rawr!". She hugged his legs.

"Sergeant Voight, where's your costume?" Kate looked up at him expectantly. "Mommy and Daddy dressed up." Voight glanced over to Erin and Jay and burst out laughing.

"Oh, that's good." Voight chuckled, opening the door wider, "Come on in, I have steaks on the grill out back."

"No pictures, Hank." Erin warned, following her father figure through the house, nearly catching Jay's tail in the door.

* * *

While dinner with Hank was successful, taking Kate trick-or-treating was not. The poor little girl caught sight of a mask-wearing goblin and promptly leapt into Jay's arms and refused to go trick-or-treating. "I don't want candy," Kate replied tearfully after Erin asked if she still wanted to go, "I don't want to see the monsters." She buried her face in Jay's neck, trembling against his costume.

"Do you want to go back inside?" Jay asked, glancing down the street at the throngs of children on the sidewalk, clad in various costumes. While there didn't appear to be many wearing masks, the one was enough to frighten his little girl to no end. Kate nodded against his neck. Hank had stayed behind to hand out candy to other children, pulling open the front door in surprise.

"Back already?" He asked Erin, who shook her head in response.

"Lots of scary monsters out there," She informed him after Kate was out of earshot, Jay carrying her to the living room, "Poor thing practically had a heart attack."

Hank grimaced sympathetically. "I got some strawberries in the fridge, do you think that would help?"

"Maybe." Erin mused, following him to the kitchen, "She loves fruit. Way more than she likes anything else, so it could work." She poked her head into the living room. "Kate, Hank has some strawberries. Does that sound good to you?"

"Okay." Kate replied, lifting her head off Jay's shoulder. Hank gave the little girl a bowl of cut strawberries with a fork and passed a beer to Jay. "Thank you." She whispered, carefully eating some of her fruit.

"Feeling better, Squirt?" Jay asked after Kate seemed to have calmed down a bit. She nodded.

"I'm sorry." Kate croaked, looking nervously at Jay and Erin, "I didn't mean to be scared and cry."

"No need to be sorry, baby." Erin reassured her, "It's perfectly okay if you don't want to go."

Hank sat down in his favorite armchair, "I still can't believe you got Jay and Erin into those costumes." He winked at the little girl, "The banana was a good choice."

"It's my favorite food." Kate told him seriously. The doorbell rang loudly, causing the little girl to jump and turn back to her father's embrace with a petrified squeak.

"It's okay, kiddo, just trick-or-treaters." Hank told her, heading for the door with a bowl of candy. He passed out a few handfuls to a princess, a fox and a werewolf. Kate glanced at the door, quivering violently.

"I-I don't like Halloween," she whimpered, Jay rubbing her back soothingly, "I don't like the monsters."

Jay and Erin exchanged knowing looks. "You know what, I think it's getting late and we should probably head home." Erin stood, swallowing the last of her beer, Hank and Jay both nodding in agreement.

"I'll see you on Sunday, kiddo." Hank hugged Erin and gave Jay a pat on the back, "Drive safe."

* * *

Most days, both Halstead and Lindsay worked late. While they tried to establish a good bedtime routine, Kate happily the afternoons and some nights at the district, not bothered by the irregularity of her schedule. Her arms were healing faster than expected and she had already been switched from a hard cast to a removable split on her fractured wrist. Her sprained wrist was better too, and the bruises on her ribs were fading. Kate returned to preschool after ten days off and seemed to be easing back into it well. Platt had even detailed a patrol car to the school from drop off to pick up in an effort to ease Kate and her parent's anxiety over leaving her side.

Every weekday morning, Erin's alarm went off at six though Jay was usually already awake. Since being taken, Kate had spent more nights in her parent's bed than her own, often too scared to be alone. According to Dr. Handel, Kate's response to the trauma she endured was proportional, but it still broke Erin and Jay's heart whenever they would wake up to the tearful whimpers of a terrified little girl and carry her to the safety of their bed.

When the alarm went off, Erin stretched her other hand over to find her partner. Reaching over the tiny body in between the two of them, she stroked his stubbly cheek. "Your turn to shower first." she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"It's always my turn," Jay half yawned, half grunted and dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. The night before Kate had one of the worst nightmares yet and spent an hour in her closet, cowering in fear before Erin finally coaxed her out. The couple barely had time to go back to sleep before the alarm went off, leaving them exhausted before the day began. Kate, woken up by her father's moving, cuddled in closer to Erin, pulling the covers up to her eyes.

After taking a shower to wake himself up, Jay walked out of the bathroom and approached the bed. "Er, wake up." He took her hand and rubbed it delicately before pressing a kiss to her lips, "Greet the day."

"I don't want to." Erin cracked one eye open and fake pouted. "And neither does Kate."

He laughed quietly, smoothing the hair off her face. "Come on babe, get your ass out of bed."

"Jay. Little ears," she scolded, peeling the covers off her body and gently scratching the top of her daughter's head.

"You too Squirt," Jay tickled her softy. "You're going to be late for school." Kate emerged from the covers and flashed a cheeky grin at her father. Jay waggled his fingers, indicating that he was going to tickle her again.

She giggled at her father, wiggling her fingers back at him. "Okay I'll go pick out my clothes." She scampered off to her bedroom with the stuffed tiger in her arms.

"We're lucky she's so well behaved." Erin told him before going into the bathroom. "She still may need help getting changed though, Daddy."

Jay grinned and headed for the kitchen. He poured Kate's cereal and sliced a banana. "Breakfast, Squirt." He called, the little girl rushing out of her bedroom and catapulting herself into her father's arms. Jay _loved_ mornings with his daughter because she tended to be extra cuddly and sweet. They were his second favorite part of the day, the first being the greeting he received after being at work all day.

"Daddy, guess _what_?" she said enthusiastically, as he carried her over to the breakfast bar. Asking the people who she trusted to 'guess what' had become a favorite conversation starter for the little girl.

"What?" Jay replied, setting her down in front of the banana and cereal. He started the coffee and turned to face his daughter intently. "What?"

"Today, Sergeant Platt and I are gonna read a new book about the pilgrims. And native-mericans. Because soon it's gonna be Thanks-givin'." Kate smiled brightly, "Thank you for the banana."

"You're very welcome." Jay responded, sneaking a slice off her plate, "So pilgrims and Native Americans, huh?"

Kate nodded, "And tomorrow we're gonna go to the library again to get more books."

"Well, that sounds like fun." Jay poured the coffee into two mugs. His phone chimed with a series of text messages. "Oh, boy." He sighed, glancing down at his device.

Kate ate her last bite of cereal and noticed her father was looking worried. "Daddy?"

"Sorry, kiddo. I think Mommy's going to have to drop you off today because it looks like a CI of mine needs to talk about something really important." He kissed the top of her head, "Do you remember what a CI is?"

"Confidential informant." Kate replied, "They tell you secrets in exchange for not getting locked up cause they're not too bad."

"That's right." Jay was continually impressed by his little girl's intelligence. "Hey, babe, I gotta meet with a CI."

"I'll meet you at the district then?" Erin asked, accepting the mug of coffee that her partner handed to her.

"Sounds good." Jay kissed her, then the top of Kate's head again. "I'll see you both later tonight."

* * *

"Halstead and Lindsay, you two take point on this one. Everyone else, back 'em up." Hank ordered, gesturing to the white board with two major criminals on it. "Gear up." Intelligence was working another high-profile case, this time involving a plot to transport a major shipment of unlicensed hand guns from a Ukrainian shipping container. One of Jay's CI's had alerted them to it and had set up a meeting in an abandoned warehouse on the edge of the city.

"I don't know, I got a bad feeling about this," Erin murmured into her radio, crouched behind a stack of large shipping containers. She and Jay were on opposite sides of the warehouse. Atwater and Olinsky flanked Erin while Jay, Voight, Ruzek and Burgess sat higher up, prepared to get the drop if need be.

One man, who appeared to be a bodyguard, entered the warehouse with the Ukrainian gangsters. He surveyed the area and nodded, gesturing for his counterpart to enter the warehouse as well. The second body guard hauled Jay's CI's lifeless body into the warehouse and dropped him on the floor in front of the Ukrainians. Erin could see Jay's muscles tense from where she was stationed. In an instant, one of the men began yelling in Ukrainian and fired at the containers that Intelligence was behind. Bullets flew across the warehouse, one of the Ukrainian gangsters and two body guards falling to the ground. "Suspect fleeing northbound!" Jay shouted into his radio, sprinting after the remaining offender on foot, Atwater behind him.

Erin jumped into the Sierra and sped off, noticing that Jay was cutting across people's yards in pursuit of the suspect. The man turned down an alley, not realizing he was running into a fence. Halstead pulled him off as he attempted to climb but was smacked in the head by the end of the man's gun, sending him reeling backwards and onto the ground. Luckily, Atwater came in as backup and pulled the offender off the fence again, cuffing him tightly. "Shit, man, you good?" Atwater asked Jay, glancing at the gash he sustained on the left side of his head.

"Mm, yeah." Halstead winced and sat up. He reached his hand up and pulled it back, blood on his fingertips.

"Jay!" Erin shrieked, jumping out of the Sierra and running down the snowy alleyway. She knelt down in front of her boyfriend and partner who had blood trickling down the side of his face. "Jesus, he got you good."

"I'm fine, Er." Jay reached out his hand for assistance to stand but Erin shook her head.

"Nuh-uh, you need to go to Med to get that checked out." She touched the side of his face gently with her gloved hand.

"It's just a bump. I'll put some ice on it and be fine," Jay argued, standing on his own. Erin huffed and followed him down the alley to where Atwater and Ruzek were putting the offender in the back of a squad car.

"You need the hospital, Halstead?" Hank asked, hands tucked into the top of his vest, "That looks like it might need stitches." Erin glanced at her partner with an 'I told you so' expression.

"Yeah, fine." Jay acquiesced, climbing into the passenger seat of the Sierra.

* * *

After seven stitches, Jay left Chicago Med with an icepack and a massive bruise spreading across his forehead. "You know, Maggie was right," Erin mused, pulling into the 21st District, "She's seen either you, me or Kate three times in the past month. We may as well get our own bay in the ED."

Jay rolled his eyes, "It has _not_ been that often."

"No? You brought me in when I had the flu. We brought Kate in for an x-ray of her arm and today _you_ got your head split open by the butt of a Glock 19." Erin turned to her partner, who was resting an icepack against his bruised face while he leaned back in the passenger seat. "You look like Frankenstein."

"Frankenstein's monster," Jay corrected her, Erin scrunching up her nose in response. "I know. What are we going to tell Kate?"

Erin sighed, "Well, I told the guys not to mention anything to her until we got back. So what if I go get her and tell her before she sees you? Hank said we're done for the day anyway. Nothing to do but wait for the guy to start talking, and he's lawyered up so I don't think we're getting anywhere tonight."

"Sounds good." Jay replied tiredly.

Erin quickly made her way up to the bullpen, waving to Sergeant Platt who was speaking on the phone as she hurried up the steps. Hank had texted to let her know that he was with Kate in his office, so Erin knew her little girl was in good hands. "Mommy!" Kate exclaimed, looking up from the piece of paper that she was coloring, sitting in Hank's lap.

"Hey, baby." Erin approached the desk and Kate lifted her arms, indicating that she wanted to be held. "What are you up to?"

"Sergeant Voight let me color at his desk," Kate informed her, hugging her mother tightly, "And Sergeant Platt and I learned about pilgrims and the native-mericans."

"Sounds like you had a good day." Erin smiled at her little girl and then to her boss. "Anything you need from us, Hank?"

Hank shook his head. "You and Halstead can head home."

"Where's Daddy?" Kate asked, glancing over Erin's shoulder into the bullpen. Her father was not at his desk.

Erin paused before speaking. "Daddy had a bit of an accident today, sweetheart. He's okay, but he's a little banged up."

The smile instantly dropped from Kate's face as she pulled back to look up at her mother. "Daddy's hurt?"

"He's okay, though. Just a few stitches on his forehead, no big deal." Erin reassured her, "He's in the car waiting for us."

"Did a bad guy get him?" Kate eyes filled with tears as she thought about her father, "Did they _shoot_ him?"

"Oh, no, no, no." Erin refuted quickly, glancing over at Hank, "He got a bump on the head but Uncle Will fixed him right up."

"He got the bad guy too. Your dad was very brave and didn't even want to go to the hospital, but he did and he's going to be good as new," Hank inserted, giving Erin's shoulder a squeeze, "And I bet that picture you drew would make him feel even better." He handed the little girl the picture she had drawn.

"Okay." Kate nodded, allowing Erin to brush the few tears that escaped off her cheeks, "Daddy's in the car?"

"Mm-hm. Let's go see him, huh?" Erin smiled tiredly at her father-figure. "Night Hank."

"Bye Sergeant Voight." Kate waved and blew him a kiss. She waved to Sergeant Platt on their way out, who was still on the phone with someone from the Ivory Tower. The older woman smiled at Erin before yelling into the receiver. "Daddy's okay?" Kate asked as they headed for the parking lot.

"Yep. He's just a little tired, so we're going to pick up some Chinese food and head home, sound good?" Erin tapped lightly on the car door before opening it, as to not alarm Jay. He was sound asleep against the window of the Sierra.

"Daddy's sleeping." Kate whispered, still in Erin's arms.

"Can we wait until we get home to wake him?" Erin asked, knowing that the little girl was desperate to see her father, but also recognizing that Jay was probably exhausted and aching.

Kate nodded and put a finger to her lips, indicating that she would be quiet. Erin smiled and kissed her forehead before sliding the little girl into her car seat.

* * *

"Babe," Erin's voice floated around Jay's head, accompanied a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Jay."

"Mm?" Jay opened his eyes and winced at the pain in his head. He glanced around, realizing that he was in the parking garage. "We're home?"

"Yeah. You fell asleep while you were waiting for us." Erin had already climbed out of her seat and was holding Kate in her arms. She made her way around to the passenger side and carefully opened the door. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, now that I'm with both my girls." Jay managed a smile, looking at Kate, who appeared quite nervous at her father's appearance. "Hi there, Squirt."

"Hi Daddy," Kate whispered, intently studying the stitches on Jay's forehead, "Are you hurting?"

"I'm okay, don't worry." Jay smiled and stepped out of the vehicle. "Is that Chinese I smell?" He took Kate's backpack and the takeout bag from Erin's hand so she could hold the little girl easier.

"Sergeant Voight said you got the bad guy." Kate looked up at Jay, still holding tightly to Erin while they rode in the elevator.

"He did." Erin said, running a gloved hand over Kate's head, "And Daddy was very brave when Uncle Will had to stitch him up." She walked down the hall and opened up their apartment door. "Can you go wash your hands while I get Daddy settled?"

Kate nodded as Erin set her down, heading for the bathroom. "Okay, Halstead. Couch for you." Erin ordered, taking the bag of takeout from her partner and setting it on the counter.

"I'm fine, Er." Jay replied, turning to his girlfriend. "Seriously."

"Oh, no you don't." Erin pointed to the couch. "You just fell asleep in the car. I'll bring you some dinner, just sit tight." He raised his eyebrows but complied. After settling against the couch cushions, Jay had to admit it felt way better than sitting at the kitchen table.

Kate emerged from her bedroom, carrying her favorite pink blanket and her stuffed animals. "You wanna help Daddy get comfortable?" Erin asked, smiling at the thoughtfulness of her sweet little girl. She nodded and headed to the couch, gently placing Tiger, Giraffe and Mr. Shark on one end. Kate carefully laid the blanket across Jay's lap. He had closed his eyes but blearily opened them when Kate tucked Mr. Shark in the crook of his elbow.

"Thanks, kiddo." Jay murmured tiredly, "You taking care of your old man?"

"You're not old, Daddy." Kate smiled at him for the first time that evening and placed Tiger and Giraffe on Jay's lap. "I think Tiger, Giraffe and Mr. Shark will help you feel better."

"I think so too." Jay patted Tiger's head, glancing up at Erin as she brought him a plate with fried rice, chicken and sautéed vegetables. "Thanks babe."

Erin sat on the coffee table across from her partner. "Kate, do you want to eat on the couch with Daddy tonight? Special treat?"

Kate nodded eagerly and followed her mother to the kitchen. Erin settled them on the couch with a tray so that they could eat as a family. Before too long, Jay began to doze off slightly. "Daddy's almost sleeping." Kate whispered to Erin, looking up at her father.

Erin chuckled and took both Kate and Jay's plates. "Can you go get your pajamas on and then maybe we can read a story with Daddy on the couch, hm?"

While the little girl scurried off to get changed for bed, Erin sank onto the couch beside her partner. "Babe," she whispered, gently touching his cheek, "We gotta get some ice on your forehead again."

"Mm?" Jay opened his eyes again and touched his forehead with a hiss. "Yeah, okay." He turned to his girl, "You make a good nurse, Lindsay."

"Ha, ha." Erin rose from the couch and headed for the kitchen, wrapping an icepack in a tea towel. She gently pressed it against Jay's bruised face, perching herself on the armrest of the couch. "You scared me today."

"I know. I'm sorry." Jay murmured, resting a hand on her knee, "I'm okay, though, really."

"I brushed my teeth, all by myself." Kate informed Erin, emerging from the bathroom in a pair of flannel pajamas.

"Good job, baby." Erin smiled, "Do you want to pick out a book? Then we can read and put Daddy to bed." She winked at the little girl.

"Does Daddy have to go to bed _before_ me?" Kate asked, holding up a copy of 'The Day the Crayons Quit'.

"Just tonight." Erin scooped her up and settled on the couch next to her partner with Kate in her lap. Halfway through the story, both Kate and Jay were sound asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**A lil bit more fluff before some dramz stay tuned-it's really nice to get reviews, just sayin'  
**

 **Trigger Warning for mentions of child abuse.**

"I think Olive and Danny are going to be at Hank's for Thanksgiving," Erin mentioned to Jay, sipping her beer thoughtfully, "And we're invited too, obviously. But if you wanted to have Thanksgiving with Will and your dad, I'm sure we could figure something out-"

"No need." Jay replied, reaching for the table to scoop some fried rice onto his plate, "Pretty sure my dad spends Thanksgiving in front of the TV. And Will has a shift in the ED, so the Halstead boys will not be a problem." He paused, "Did we ever talk to Kate about Justin?"

Erin thought for a moment. "I'm not sure. I mean, she's pretty perceptive and there are pictures around Voight's house. And I've mentioned him in passing I think. I guess we should probably tell her if we're seeing Olive and Danny."

Jay nodded in agreement. Kate emerged from the bathroom and took her seat at the kitchen table. "I got my splint a lil bit wet when I was washin' my hands." The little girl extended her arm that was indeed slightly damp.

"No big deal," Erin smiled, "It'll dry soon. Do you want some noodles?"

"Yes please." Kate replied, carefully lifting her plastic fork in anticipation.

"What did you learn today, Squirt?" Jay asked, taking a sip of beer and observing his little girl lift the tiny fork to her mouth, "Anything new?"

Kate nodded, "We learned more about Thanks-givin'. And I painted a turkey." She smiled, lifting both her arms, "That's how come I got paint on my elbows."

Jay chuckled, glancing at the yellow and orange streaks on the back of Kate's arms. "You did a good job washing most of it off, though. Did you get to bring it home today?"

She shook her head. "Mr. Turkey's on the dryin' rack but Miss Carlson said we get to bring them home tomorrow. And our turkey hands too."

"Lots of turkey artwork, huh?" Erin grinned, loving to see how her little girl had opened up to Jay and her over the past few months. "So, do you want to hear what we're going to do on Thanksgiving?"

Kate nodded furiously, setting her fork down in anticipation, "We're gonna have turkey?"

Jay's eyes sparkled, "We're going to have turkey at Sergeant Voight's house. And mashed potatoes and cranberries and squash and pie and all kinds of yummy thanksgiving food."

The little girl's eyes widened as Jay rattled off names of various thanksgiving dishes. She glanced at Erin and then to Jay, "We gonna cook it _all_?"

Erin chuckled, "Not all of it. I told Hank we could make the potatoes and an apple pie. Does that sound like fun?"

"So fun!" Kate squealed, picking up her fork again, "I thought we were gonna have Chinese."

"What?" Jay looked at her, "Not on thanksgiving!"

"We can't have take out on thanksgiving. It's practically a crime." Erin informed the little girl, "It's a special day for turkey and pie."

Kate giggled, scooping a few noodles into her mouth. "What's so funny, Squirt?" Jay asked, glancing at Erin who seemed just as confused as to what their daughter was laughing at, "Do I have something on my face?"

"Nope." Kate shook her head, "It's just that Miss Carlson asked us to draw what thanksgiving looked like in our families." Jay and Erin exchanged looks, assuming that Kate had never experienced at proper holiday before, "And cause I didn't know, I drew pizza and fried rice." She giggled again, clearly not grasping the sad aspect of the situation, "But then we learned about the pilgrims, and they didn't have fried rice!"

Jay smiled, "Well, maybe we should have fried rice at our thanksgiving, huh?" He reached across the table to grab Erin's hand, "Start a silly tradition in our family." Erin smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. While she knew that Kate probably hadn't had thanksgiving before, it never ceased to break her heart.

Kate nodded again, "Is Uncle Will coming for thanksgiving too?"

Jay paused, "Uncle Will actually has to work on Thursday, but I bet he could come by later for pie."

"But we're going to have some other people at Hank's house." Erin said, noting how Kate immediately appeared to be nervous, "Do you remember the family picture on Hank's wall?"

Kate nodded slowly, "The one with Sergeant Voight's wife?"

"Yep, that's Camille. And she was sick a few years ago and passed away," Erin swallowed thickly, "But she would have liked you a lot." She glanced at Jay, who gave a slight nod, indicating that she should continue. "There was another boy in the picture, too. That's Justin."

"Sergeant Voight's son." Kate supplied, nodding that she remembered. She glanced down at her lap, "But Sergeant Voight said that he was in heaven."

Erin nodded, surprised that Hank had mentioned Justin to Kate. "That's right. He's in heaven, with Camille," She swallowed again, "But Justin had a little boy and a wife, Danny and Olive. And they're going to join us for thanksgiving."

Kate's eyes brightened. "They're coming? Sergeant Voight said that Danny was a baby and I never met a baby before!"

Erin relaxed, relieved that her little girl appeared to be excited, "Well, he isn't a little baby anymore, he's almost three. But he's super cute and I'm sure he'd love to play with you."

* * *

Kate sat on the counter, carefully mashing the potatoes while Erin held the bowl in place. The splint on one arm made it difficult to mash, but the little girl was determined. Jay was finishing the apple pie, crimping the edges to make a crust. "The potatoes look great, baby," Erin praised, receiving a smile from her daughter, "How about we wash our hands and then get shoes on? Hank's expecting us soon."

"All done." Kate ceased the mashing and raised her arms so that Erin could help her off the counter. "What shoes, Mommy?"

"Boots." Jay supplied, turning around from the counter, "It's still a little icy outside. And your big coat too, please." He winked at Erin, "That goes for you too, Er."

Erin rolled her eyes and followed Kate to the door, slipping on her boots and heavy winter coat. "Okay, Squirt, can you carry the little bag so Mommy and I can carry all the food?"

"Got it," Kate affirmed, picking up a small canvas bag that she had filled with a few books, tiger, Mr. Shark and giraffe. "I packed Mr. Shark and giraffe in case Danny wants to play," She explained, following her mother out the apartment door, "So we could share."

"That's very kind of you sweetheart." Erin smiled at the little girl's thoughtfulness. One of the recent lessons in preschool had been sharing and Kate had been very taken by it, always offering to share her snacks or stuffed animals with Erin or Jay.

When the family arrived at Voight's house, Kate appeared to still be excited to meet both Danny and Olive. Normally, the little girl was incredible shy around people she didn't know and was often reluctant to meet new people. "Hi Hank." Erin greeted, passing him the bowl of mashed potatoes when he pulled open the door, "Happy thanksgiving."

"Hi Sergeant Voight." Kate looked up at the man, grin spread across her cheeks.

"Hey guys." Hank smiled warmly, opening the door further, "Come on in. Erin knows where the coats go."

"Thanks for having us." Jay shrugged off his jacket and handed it to Erin before leaning down to help Kate remove hers, "Kate helped make a pie and pretty much did the mashed potatoes by herself."

"Did you now?" Hank asked, looking at the bowl, "Well, these look fabulous. They'll go great with the turkey. Do you want to come see it?"

Kate nodded, following him and Erin down the hall to the kitchen. "Olive, hey." Erin greeted, giving the young woman a tentative hug, "How are you?"

"I'm great, we're great." Olive replied, bending down to urge the little boy who was sitting on the floor to stand up. "Danny, come say hi to your Aunt Erin."

"Hello." Danny stood and waved to Erin, standing next to Olive's leg.

"Hi Buddy. You probably don't remember me, but gosh, you've gotten so big since the last time I saw you." Erin grinned, "He looks so much like Justin, wow."

"I know." Olive smoothed his hair back, "And this must be Kate."

Erin nodded, placing a gentle hand on her little girl's shoulder. "Yep. Kate, this is Danny and your Aunt Olive."

"Hi." Kate waved, similar to how Danny did earlier. She looked nervously up at her mother, who gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Do you guys want to play with some of the things Kate brought, maybe in the living room?" Erin suggested, Olive nodding in agreement.

"Okay." Kate whispered, taking the hand Erin offered and heading for the living room. Olive and Erin watched as the two small children settled themselves on the floor and began to rifle through the bag of toys and stuffed animals. Even though Danny was much younger than Kate, they were the exact same size and looked like siblings as they played on the floor.

"Do you think you'll be okay in here while Aunt Erin and I go help Jay and Grandpa in the kitchen?" Olive asked her little boy, glancing to where Jay and Hank were placing dishes into the oven.

"Yep." Danny replied. Kate nodded to Erin, indicating that she would be okay, knowing that her parents were just in the other room. Erin smiled, glancing over her shoulder as she exited. "What happen to your arm?" Danny asked sweetly, looking inquisitively at Kate's splint.

"I got hurt," Kate explained, "But it's getting better." She handed her new friend Mr. Shark. "Do you want to read a story?"

* * *

When Jay poked his head into the living room to check on the two children, he was surprised to see both of them leaning against the couch, stuffed animals in their laps and Kate slowly reading 'Pete the Cat' out loud to Danny. While she struggled over a few words, she was actually reading the book. "I love my white shoes," Kate read, glancing up at her father, "Hi Daddy."

"Hey guys. Dinner's almost ready, okay?" Jay smiled, both children nodding and returning to the book. Danny intently observed Kate's every move, listening to her read.

"Everything okay in there, babe?" Erin asked, setting the plastic plates and cutlery they had brought on the table for Kate and Danny.

"She's reading to him," Jay informed the adults, surprise still evident in his voice, "They're sitting on the floor reading Pete the Cat and Kate is _reading._ Out loud."

"Wow," Olive mused, "She's four? And reading?"

"She's brilliant," Jay nodded, "And she didn't get it from me."

"Well she didn't get it from her mother," Erin said dryly, "I think she's just special." Jay nodded in agreement.

"Everything's ready." Hank stated, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel.

"Awesome." Erin gestured to Olive to follow her to the living room so that they could see their two kids interacting in person. Kate and Danny were still sitting on the floor, but had a new book spread across their laps. The little girl pointed to words and letters, explaining them to her new friend.

"Mama!" Danny exclaimed, "Kate teachin' me how to weed!"

"Wow." Olive grinned at the children, "Do you guys want to come wash your hands before dinner? Everything's ready."

Both children nodded eagerly. Danny followed Kate to the bathroom. "Look at how he follows her," Olive said to Erin, "It's so cute."

"Fried rice!" Kate giggled, observing the table that was covered with various thanksgiving food, accompanied by a plate of fried rice. "Like in my picture!"

"I told you we were going to have some." Jay chuckled, helping his little girl into her seat, "I think it's going to taste really good with stuffing."

* * *

Jay and Erin were thrilled with how much Kate and Danny seemed to like each other. After they finished dinner, the duo headed back to the living room where Kate continued to teach her new friend how to read. Danny looked up to Kate immensely, eagerly following her gentle instructions and hanging onto her every word. It wasn't long before the two little children fell asleep on Voight's couch, using the stuffed animals Kate brought as pillows.

Danny began to cry when he found out that Kate was leaving, insistent that he did not want to say goodbye to his new friend. Erin almost burst into tears when the little boy hugged her daughter goodbye and Kate told him that they would see each other soon. Her maturity and tenderness to the younger child melted her parent's hearts. "That may have been the cutest thing I've ever seen." Erin whispered to Jay as he slid into the passenger seat.

He nodded in agreement. "Kate, did you like Thanksgiving?"

The little girl nodded enthusiastically. "I _love_ Thanksgiving Daddy! And Danny is so nice."

"I'm glad you had fun, baby." Erin smiled, glancing in the rearview at her little girl. "I think Olive and Danny are going to join us for the aquarium tomorrow, how does that sound?"

"The aquarium!" Kate squealed, eyes wide, "I love the aquarium! Can we see the _sharks_?"

"Sure thing." Jay promised, "And the sea turtles. And I like the seals."

"Do the sea creatures get thanksgiving too?" Kate asked, looking curiously at her parents as Erin drove through the streets, "Do they get special dinner?"

"I'm not sure, Squirt," Jay chuckled, "But how about we ask someone at the aquarium tomorrow? I bet they could answer all your questions."

"Okay," Kate nodded, looking out the window tiredly. Jay carried her from the car up to the apartment while Erin handled the leftovers that Hank had wrapped for them. "Do I have to go to bed now?" Kate asked once Jay set her down, "I'm not sleepy."

"We can stay up for a little." Erin decided, "Do you want to put your pajamas on now though?" Kate nodded and headed for her bedroom to change while Erin turned to her partner. "Jay, I think you should go see your dad."

"What?" Jay looked at Erin quizzically, "Why?"

"Because Will texted me and said he was going to stop by over there with some pie. And it's Thanksgiving. You should see your family." She stroked his arm gently, rubbing her thumb across his hand.

" _This_ is my family," Jay informed Erin, "You and Kate."

"I know. But I got to see my dad today. And I see him every day. And I know you're not ready to let Pat back into your life or for him to meet Kate, but it may make you feel better about the situation." Erin cupped his face with her hands, "I love you. And it's your decision. But stopping by for a bit of pie wouldn't hurt."

Jay sighed, pressing a kiss to Erin's lips. "Okay. I don't want Kate to know about him though, especially because he doesn't know about her," He paused, "Or you, for that matter. He has a habit of ruining things I love."

"I get it, babe." Erin nodded, "You go. We'll be waiting here for you, I promise." Kate emerged from her bedroom in a pair of fall-themed pajamas, the top on backwards. "Baby, Daddy's going to head out for a little bit, see an old friend. You and I are going to watch Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving and then we can go to bed when Daddy gets back."

Kate nodded, raising her arms to give Jay a hug goodbye. "I love you, Daddy," she whispered into his ear.

"Love you more, kiddo." Jay kissed her head, passing his little girl off to Erin. "I love you too, Er. I'll be back in a bit."

"Daddy, wait!" Kate exclaimed as Jay was heading for the door, "I forgot to show you something!" She scrambled out of Erin's arms and rifled through her backpack that was sitting by her shoes. Kate pulled out what appeared to be a book, obviously made by little hands. "I made this for you and Mommy."

"A book?" Jay asked, squatting down beside his daughter. He accepted the stack of construction paper, " _What I'm Thankful For, by Kate H.,_ " Jay read aloud, "You made this?"

"Uh-huh." Kate nodded, "We made them in school." Erin crouched beside her partner, reading over his shoulder.

"I'm thankful for Sergeant Voight," Jay read, "I'm thankful for Uncle Will. I'm thankful for Sergeant Platt. I am most thankful for my mommy and daddy." Tears sprung to his eyes as he turned the pages, images of his daughter's favorite people drawn carefully, followed by her patient handwriting. "This is beautiful, Squirt."

Kate grinned proudly, "I made it for you and mommy," she leaned back against her mother, who had wrapped her arms around the little girl from behind, "because I am so, so thankful for you."

* * *

If Jay had been reluctant to leave for his father's house, after his little girl had said she was _thankful_ for him, he wanted to hold tight and never let go. How she was able to experience what no child should ever have to endure and still be thankful astounded him. Kate's maturity and kindness never ceased to amaze her parents. "Mommy?" Kate whispered, tilting her head up so she could look at her mother. The little girl was snuggled in Erin's lap on the couch with Charlie Brown playing on the television.

"Yes, baby?" Erin glanced down at her daughter, wisps of brown hair circling her sweet face, "What's up?"

"'member when the Bunny came here?" Kate asked quietly, "Your mommy?"

"Mm-hm." Erin nodded, dread filling her stomach at the mention of her estranged mother, "What about Bunny?"

"Did she ever hit you?"

Erin paused, unsure of how to continue the conversation. On the one hand, her little girl had an experience similar to her own, but on the other, Erin wasn't sure sharing her tumultuous past was a good idea. However, she and Jay had vowed to not lie to the little girl in order to build a relationship built on trust. "Um, well, when I was growing up, Bunny wasn't around a lot. She, uh, had a lot of friends and some of them weren't so nice but some of them were and uh, she and I lost touch when I grew up." She glanced down at Kate, uncertain that the four year old understood what she was telling her. "Why do you ask, baby?"

Kate shrugged, resting her head on Erin's shoulder. "Sometimes I forget about Mr. P and Uncle Bobby and Big Joe. But sometimes I remember. They weren't very kind to me but I didn't have a mommy. And I got scared a lot." She placed her little hand on Erin's arm, "I'm still scared. And I know I'm safe but I still 'member being hurt."

The young detective swallowed the lump in her throat, attempting to find the words to comfort her little girl. "You know," Erin coughed slightly, "I get scared sometimes too. Sometimes I wake up and remember everything that happened when I was little. But then I remember that Hank and Camille and Justin took me in. And eventually, things got better."

"They saved you," Kate said quietly and Erin nodded in agreement, "They saved you, just like you and Daddy saved me."

Erin blinked back tears, turning her nose into her sweet little girl's hair. "Oh, baby, I think you saved us just the same. You have brought so much joy into our lives and you constantly amaze us with your love and your kindness and your adorable laugh," Kate giggled, snuggling in closer to her mother, "I am so glad we found each other."

"Me too." Kate breathed, "Maybe when I'm not scared anymore, I can tell you about what happened before."

"Of course. Whenever you're ready, baby. But no matter what, your daddy and I are going to keep you safe, okay?" Kate nodded, closing her eyes.

"Do you think I can snuggle in your bed tonight? When Daddy comes home?" She opened her eyes and looked up at her mother who had a few tears trickling down her cheeks. Kate tenderly reached up and wiped them away, earning a soft chuckle from Erin.

"I think a sleepover can be arranged."


	16. Chapter 16

**Eeeek drama!  
**

The first week of December brought another wave of snow in addition to a slight dip in criminal activity. Intelligence was working on small drug-smuggling ring that appeared to be folding fast. "Jay." Erin picked up her phone. "I'm sorry I missed your call, I was in an interrogation. Did you get the guy?"

"It's Kate," he replied, "The school just called, she's running a slight fever."

"Oh no." Erin put her hand to her mouth. "We got the confession so I'll get someone to cover me so I can go pick her up."

Jay nodded and turned to Atwater, who gestured that he could handle things on their end. "I'll be home early, okay? As soon as I can."

After speaking with Hank and receiving the go-ahead to pick up her daughter, Erin jumped in her Jeep and peeled out of the parking lot to get to Kate's school as fast as she could. In the five months that Kate had been a member of their family, she hadn't been sick and rarely complained of feeling poorly even with broken and sprained arms. Motherly instinct took over, and Erin had a gut feeling her baby really wasn't feeling well.

Erin wished she had been in the Sierra so that she could turn the lights on, but she as able to make it to Hillside Nursery School in record time. Erin parked in the fire lane before switching off the car and briskly making her way to the school entrance. "Where's the nurse's office?" Erin asked the woman behind the front desk. She swung her keys impatiently as the woman continued to write on the different colored slips of paper. "My daughter is _sick_." Erin placed her hands on her hips, pulling back her long winter coat and revealing the badge clipped to the waistband of her dark jeans.

"Down the hall, to your left." The woman looked up from the paperwork and directed the detective on where to go.

"Thank you." Erin sped walked down the hallway and into the nurse's office. "Hi, I'm here for Kate Halstead." She glanced around the small room, taking note of the kiddie-sized chairs and posters encouraging the little kids to wash their hands and cover their mouths.

"Hello Mrs. Halstead. Kate's in the other room. I'm going to need you to sign her out and take a pass to give at the front desk." The older woman smiled at Erin. "It's only a slight fever, but I figured it was better to be safe than sorry."

"Thank you," Erin said gratefully as she hastily signed her name on the clipboard and handed it back to the woman. The nurse gestured to the back room, indicating that it was where Erin would find her daughter.

"Mommy," whispered a small voice as Erin entered. Erin followed the familiar tone to the far bed in the corner, where her baby was lying on her side.

"Hi baby." Erin sat down on the plastic bed Kate was lying in. "I heard you're not feeling too good, huh?"

Kate shrugged. "I'm sorry you had to come from work." She looked up at her mother tiredly, "I said I was fine but Miss Carlson said I feeled warm."

"I wasn't busy and it's okay to tell an adult if you're feeling sick, okay? I don't mind leaving work especially if it means I get to spend time with you." Erin stroked her daughter's cheek. "Let's get you home, sound good?"

Kate nodded and lifted her arms. Erin scooped her up and grabbed her backpack from the chair. "Thanks again," she said to the nurse and walked down the hallway that she had entered through.

The lady at the front desk gave a sympathetic look Kate when Erin handed her the green slip that allowed Kate to leave school. "Poor thing." the woman said benevolently, stamping the slip. "Feel better sweetheart."

"Thanks." Erin replied and exited the school. She slipped Kate into her car seat and buckled her up, placing a soft kiss on her warm forehead.

"Did you feel sick this morning baby?" Erin looked in her rearview mirror as they drove along the street, "Like before school?" The little girl had been silent since Erin had buckled her in.

Kate shook her head. "I didn't feel good in snack time," she shivered slightly, "And I slipped. That's how come Miss Carlson said I feeled warm, when she helped me up."

"Did you feel dizzy?" Erin was alarmed, suddenly concerned that her baby may have another concussion, "Did you hit your head?"

"No," Kate responded, tiredly looking out the window. "I was just so tired I could barely stand."

"Does your head hurt?" Erin asked but the little girl shook her head. "Your tummy?"

Kate shook her head again. "I just ache all over," she complained, rubbing her eyes. She let out a yawn, "And I'm sleepy."

"All right then." Erin parked in front of the apartment building, not bothering to waste time finding a place in the garage. "I bet your bed sounds good to you right now."

Kate nodded again as her mother carefully unbuckled her and helped her out of her seat. While Erin grabbed her backpack, Kate tiredly wandered up the steps to the building. She faltered as she stepped over the stoop. "Careful there," Erin caught her arm, "Hold on, let me carry you."

"I'm okay." Kate accepted the boost into her mother's arms and rested tiredly on her shoulder as they entered the elevator. Erin fumbled for her keys and trudged into the apartment, Kate still in her arms.

"I can get down," Kate informed her mother, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" Erin set her down and placed Kate's backpack on the floor by the door.

"I'm think I'm going to sleep now." Kate stated as she kicked off her shoes and dropped her coat to the floor. She was normally a neat little girl but was clearly bone-tired and not concerned with making a mess.

"I'll be right in baby." Erin was pouring apple juice into a sippy cup in the kitchen. "Go put your pajamas on."

Kate did as she was told and crawled into bed. The second her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep. Erin left the cup by her daughter's bed and placed a hand on her forehead. The little girl was definitely running a slight fever, evident by her flushed cheeks and occasional shivers.

Erin quietly shut Kate's bedroom door but brought the baby monitor from Jay's beside table out into the living room. She put on her sweats and curled up on the couch before dialing her partner's number.

"How is she?" were his first words.

"Tired." Erin replied. "I mean, it's just after one and she's exhausted. Barely kept her eyes open on the drive home. She's sleeping now. I didn't even get a chance to take her temperature or give her anything."

"She seemed all right this morning." Jay ran his fingers through his hair. "We got the guy so I'll be home in an hour or two. Voight said it's fine."

"I'll cook tonight." Erin told him. "She's asleep and I've got time."

"Sounds good." Jay glanced at his watch. "I gotta go. Love you."

"Love you too." Erin hit end and headed for the kitchen.

She began peeling potatoes and chopping celery. Before she knew it, her boyfriend was home and homemade chicken soup was cooking on the stove. There were only few dishes that Erin could concoct, and chicken soup was one. The recipe had been Camille's and Erin was sure to follow the directions carefully every time.

"It's nice to be home early, isn't it?" she asked Jay after they shared a kiss.

Jay nodded, nuzzling her cheek. "She still sleeping?"

"I checked on her ten minutes ago. Hasn't uttered a sound since she fell asleep, and that was at one." Erin stirred the soup. "Poor thing has a fever though. It was 101.2 an hour ago and she didn't even stir."

Jay sighed. "Kids get sick all the time. She'll be fine in a day or two."

"I hope so." Erin mused, turning the temperature down on the stove. "Maybe we call Will in a bit?" She glanced up at Jay nervously, "Just for some doctorly advice." Jay nodded and led his partner to the couch. They snuggled there together while watching the recent Blackhawks game highlights, listening intently for any noise from their daughter's room.

* * *

Kate slept through dinner. Jay and Erin rotated going in to check her, almost every ten minutes. "I'm paranoid." Erin sighed as she rested her head on her partner's chest. The duo had retreated to the couch again after eating the soup that Erin made. Jay had been extremely surprised at Erin's culinary prowess, repeatedly telling her how glad he was that the kitchen wasn't burnt to a crisp, earning a swift punch to the shoulder.

"So am I." Jay replied dryly. "I've never had a sick kid before."

Erin glanced at her cell phone. "It's nearly eight. She's been asleep for seven hours."

"I texted Will and he said that it's probably just the bug that's been going around. He did say that we could wake her, maybe get her in a cool bath to bring down her fever." Jay suggested. "I mean, it's a bit above 101, but I guess it couldn't hurt."

Erin nodded and got up. "You want to wake her? I'll start the bath."

Jay rose and headed for his little girl's bedroom. She was sound asleep, breathing deeply. "Kate, sweetheart, wake up."

She rolled over. "Daddy?" she mumbled, "Why are you home so early?"

"Well, it's late now since you've been asleep for quite a while." He gently cupped her flushed cheek in his palm, "It looks like you're running a bit of a fever."

"Oh." Kate rubbed her eyes. "I'm tired."

He pressed the back of his hand her forehead. "You feel a little warmer than you did earlier. Mommy's drawing a nice bath for you, how does that sound?"

Kate nodded and rubbed her eyes again. "But I'm so sleepy."

"I know Squirt," He helped her remove the covers off her sweaty body and carried her to the hall bathroom, "We're going to get you back in bed soon."

"Hi baby," Erin took the little girl out of her partner's arms, "Little bit tired, are we?"

"Little bit," murmured Kate, relaxing into her mother's touch, "I took a long nap."

"Mh-hm," Erin ran her fingers through Kate's soft hair, "Are you up for a bath to help cool you down?"

"'kay." Kate leaned back and struggled to pull her pajamas off. Erin gently helped pull the damp pajamas over Kate's head and carefully set the little girl in the lukewarm bath water.

"I'll grab her some clean pajamas." Jay left the bathroom and let Erin help Kate with her bath.

After her cool bath, Kate snuggled in Erin's lap on the couch. Erin carefully combed out Kate's hair and glanced worriedly at Jay, who was texting his brother. He handed his girlfriend a sippy cup full of juice. "Will said to have her drink that. Fluids."

"Can you have some juice, baby?" Erin lifted the cup to Kate's mouth and helped her get fluids into her system. When the cup was half empty, Kate shook her head no. "I don't want anymore."

"Just a few more sips," Erin tried to lift the cup back up to Kate's lips, "We need to keep you hydrated so you can get better."

"It's too cold." Kate shivered and pulled her arms in closer around her body.

Erin felt her daughter's forehead, warmer than before. "You're running a bit more than a slight fever now, sweetheart. It's just your body's way of fighting off a virus so that you can get better."

"I don't like this." Kate complained, tears welling in her eyes.

"I know baby. I'm sorry you're feeling sick." Erin ran her fingers through Kate's damp hair before resting the back of her hand on Kate's forehead again. "Damn." she muttered before calling "Jay!"

Jay appeared out of the kitchen. "Warmer?" he asked, as his girl nodded. He reached into the sink and pulled out the thermometer. "Er, can you set her on the counter? I called Will, he's going to be over shortly."

Erin carried her daughter over to the kitchen counter. "Can you open up for me, Squirt?" Jay held the thermometer up. The little girl looked apprehensively at the thermometer, unsure of what it was going to do. "It just goes under your tongue to see if you have a fever. It won't hurt, I promise." Jay offered a smile. Obediently, Kate opened her mouth. When the little needle looking device beeped, Jay glanced at the number. He held up two fingers, letting Erin know that the little girl's fever had reached 102.

"Does anything hurt baby?" Erin ran her fingers through Kate's wet hair and pressed a kiss on top of her head, "I know you were feeling achy earlier."

"My whole body aches," Kate mumbled as her father cupped her flushed cheek with his cool hand.

"Anywhere specific?" he asked, looking concernedly in her wet hazel orbs. He caught Erin's panicked gaze.

"My head." Kate pushed her palm up against her forehead. "And my tummy." She gingerly wrapped an arm around her stomach, leaning against Erin, who stood beside the counter.

Erin widened her eyes, "That's new."

Before Jay could ask another question, a sharp knock at the door caused the little girl to jump. "I think that's Will." Jay hurried to the entrance and opened the front door. "Hey man, thanks for coming."

"Anything for my favorite niece." Will followed his brother to the kitchen and squeezed Erin's shoulder. "Hey Goosey, how's my favorite patient doing?" He bent down and smiled warmly at Kate.

She shrugged, leaning closer to her mother. "She's got a fever, headache and just now said that her stomach hurts," Erin told him, continuing to run her fingers through Kate's hair, "And she's not one to complain."

"And she's exhausted." Jay added, nervously watching his little girl struggle to keep her eyes open.

"Is it okay if I take a look?" Will asked, taking in Kate's flushed complexion and glassy eyes.

She nodded and Will gently lifted Kate's pajama top to examine her belly. "Does it hurt when I push there?" He pressed her abdomen where the appendix was located.

Kate shook her head. "It hurts more up here." She motioned to where her stomach was.

"Where she's pointing is her actual stomach, not her small intestine or kidneys." Will adjusted Kate's pajama top. "It looks like you have a bit of a stomach bug, little Miss Halstead. That would explain the aches and fever. The good news is that you'll be okay in a day or two. You can give her some Motrin right before bed to help with the fever."

Jay kissed the top of Kate's head. "That's good to hear. Thanks for coming by man."

"Anytime. Let me know if you need anything." Will smiled and headed for the door. "Feel better kiddo!"

"Thanks Will." Erin rubbed Kate's tummy soothingly. "Do you feel like you're going to be sick?"

"Just hurts," she shrugged and yawned. "I'm not going to die." Kate managed a small smile at her parents.

Jay chuckled and stroked her cheek. "We're just making sure."

Erin picked Kate up off the counter and brought her back to the couch, Jay in tow. "We just love you so much and we like to see you feeling better."

Kate rubbed her eyes and yawned again. "Why am I so sleepy?"

"Your body is fighting something, babes." Erin kissed the top of Kate's damp head. "You might be tired for a few days, but that's your body's way of getting you better."

"Do you want to go back to bed?" Jay asked, glancing at his watch. It was past Kate's normal bedtime, but the little girl had been asleep for most of the day.

Kate shook her head. "I've been in bed _all day_."

"But you said you were sleepy," Erin pointed out, continuing to run her fingers through Kate's damp hair, "And lying down might feel good."

"I know," Kate settled back against her mother, "But I want to be with you guys." She looked up at her parents with wide eyes. "Please?"

"A few minutes, but then you need to rest, okay?" Jay smiled. He couldn't deny his little girl the comfort of her parents, and if he was being honest, he was more at ease when she was in between him and Erin. Kate nodded, snuggling in closer to Erin's chest. Jay pulled his girls in close and switched on the news. For fifteen minutes the family watched the daily events unfold, Kate dozing lightly between her parents.

"Daddy." Kate said urgently, abruptly leaning away from her mother.

"Mmm?" Jay turned to the little girl and raised his eyebrows, anticipating a question.

"I think I'm going to get sick." Her face had gone pale and sweat lined her hairline. Jay jumped up immediately. Quickly, Erin boosted Kate into Jay's waiting arms. He scooped up his daughter and carried her to the kitchen sink where she emptied the contents of her little stomach, narrowly missing the floor.

"Ew." Kate moaned after she was finished, tears rolling down her flushed cheeks. "That's so gross."

"Oh baby." Erin came into the kitchen, bearing a damp washcloth to wipe her daughter's mouth. Jay set the child down on the counter and tucked her messy wet hair behind her ears while Erin ran the cloth over Kate's face.

"I bet you're sleepy now huh?" he asked, gently rubbing her back. "Are you going to be sick again?"

The little girl shook her head and extended her arms. "I want to go to bed." she mumbled, sagging against her father in exhaustion.

"Let's just get some fluids in you quick, okay?" Jay stroked his daughter's hair, "And maybe some Motrin to bring down her fever." Erin nodded, quickly gathering the medicine and juice and setting them on the counter. He lifted the liquid to her mouth and she swallowed, quickly washing the horrible taste down with apple juice.

"Can I go to bed now?" Kate whimpered, leaning against her father again.

"All right baby." Erin kissed her forehead, and Jay picked her up. "I'll be in to check on you later, okay?"

Kate nodded as Jay carried her to her bed. Her eyelids were closed by the time Jay kissed her forehead and quietly closed the door. When he glanced into his bedroom, he saw his partner curled up on the bed, reading a book on parenting that Ruzek had gifted as a joke but she was actually making a point to read.

"Sleepy?" he asked, touching her knee affectionately. He leaned down and kissed her lips gently.

She nodded and stifled a yawn. "Little bit."

"Worried?" Jay pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it into the hamper. He placed the baby monitor on his bedside table.

"Very much so." Erin sighed and bookmarked her place. "I mean, her fever is slight but she's so tired. There's a million different infections out there."

"And it's flu season." Jay climbed into bed. "Schools are Petri dishes for germs."

"I know. And I know Will said she was going to be okay but-" Erin shifted closer to her boyfriend and turned her head to kiss him. "I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too." Jay switched out the light.

* * *

The moonlight was streaming in from the bedroom window, right into Erin's eyes. She rolled over and slung her arm over her sleeping partner, pulling her body closer to his. Jay was sound asleep on his back, mouth slightly agape as he gently inhaled and exhaled.

Suddenly, she heard irregular noises echoing from the baby monitor on Jay's bedside. "Jay," she mumbled, kicking the covers off. "Jay," she shook him. "Do you hear that?"

"What?" Jay opened his eyes lazily. He glanced at the clock. "Er, it's three in the morning. What's wrong?"

"It's the monitor," Erin murmured, her mind playing ping pong between awake and asleep. Then she grasped the situation. "The monitor."

The couple listened for a moment, but there was no noise. "There's nothing coming out of it," Jay muttered. "I think she's fine." He rolled over, pulling Erin closer to him and closed his eyes again, breathing in his girlfriend's sweet scent.

They drifted off for a few more minutes when a sudden thump from outside their bedroom door quickly woke the couple up. "Kate," Erin gasped, scrambling against the covers.

Jay practically leapt out of the bed and raced into the living room, Erin right behind him. Kate was laying in the hallway in a heap, halfway between the bedrooms, blood all over her mouth. "Kate!" Jay cried, kneeling down beside his daughter. The little girl was white as a sheet and was sweating profusely, strands of hair matted to her face.

Erin dialed 911. "This is Detective Erin Lindsay, I need an ambo. My four year old is coughing up blood and passing out." She glanced around the apartment, "Jay!" she shrieked as she saw the trail of blood coming from Kate's bedroom.

"She's unconscious," he took Kate's wrist. "Faint pulse."

"I'll get her jacket. The ambulance is on its way." Erin grabbed three coats off the hangers and slipped into her boots. She tossed Jay his shoes and sank down to Kate. "Oh, Kate." she whispered, wiping the little girl's mouth with the sleeve of her coat.

"There's vomit all over the floor in her bedroom. Half of its blood." Jay declared, helping his partner get Kate's coat on her shivering body.

"Her fever's way up." Erin touched her baby's forehead. "She's still out though."

Jay paced nervously, pulling a pair of jeans on. He tossed Erin the pants she had left on the floor earlier, "You can change," he told Erin. "I'll stay with her."

Erin quickly took her pajamas off and tied her hair back in a bun. "We should just drive her," she said, her voice breaking. "She needs to go, now."

Jay nodded, carefully lifting his daughter. Just then, the paramedic knocked on the door. "Oh thank God." he said as Erin flung open the door and pointed to her little girl with a shaking hand. It wasn't a paramedic they were familiar with. "Detective Jay Halstead, Intelligence."

Erin took her little girl's hand as she was laid on the gurney. "Go with her." Jay instructed, "I'll meet you there."

"Are you sure?" Erin was close to tears as they made their way down the hallway and into the elevator.

"I drive faster than you." Jay nodded, "I'll see you in a minute." Jay kissed Kate's head, and then Erin's before turning to head down the stairwell.

"Be careful." Erin told him as the doors slid shut.

The paramedics loaded Kate into the back of the ambulance. Erin climbed in, still clutching Kate's hand. "It's going to be okay Kate." Erin stroked her daughter's hair back. "Everything's going to be just fine."

The ambulance peeled into Chicago Medical Center and Kate was quickly unloaded. "Four year old female, high fever and bloody vomit." The paramedic shouted at the on-call doctors.

Erin hurried alongside the gurney, holding Kate's hand tightly. "Mommy?" Kate slowly opened her eyes, pushing the oxygen mask off her nose. "What's happening?"

"Kate, baby." Erin let the tears slip down her cheeks. "You're in the hospital. We're getting you to surgery right now."

Kate coughed, sending blood all over the front of her jacket. "She's going to crash!" shouted one of the EMTs, pushing open double doors.

"Get me a bag of O neg," One of the nurses shouted, "And someone page Choi!"

"Stay with me." Erin gripped her daughter's hand. "Kate, stay with me." The little girl's eyelids fluttered and she was unconscious again.

"Ma'am, you have to stay here." One of the nurses held Erin back as Kate's gurney disappeared behind another set of doors.

"No, no, I don't. I'm her _mother_!" Erin desperately tried to see where Kate went.

"I'm sorry." The nurse stood her ground. "We'll notify you as soon as we know what's happening."

"Where is she?" Jay raced into the ER, breathless.

"She's in OR 3. Please wait outside." The nurse said calmly. "You can take a seat in the waiting room."

"Like hell I will." Jay's eyes were wild. "Where's my brother?"

"Hospital regulation says that you can't be in there." The nurse repeated, firmly standing between the double doors and the terrified parents.

"Halstead!" Maggie's voice ricocheted off the cement walls. "Lindsay."

The two spun around, Erin's faced streaked with tears and Jay's bright red and angry. "What are you two doing here?"

"Kate." Jay choked out. "Vomited up a massive amount of blood."

"Oh my God." Maggie put her hand over her mouth. "Come with me."

She led them to the OR waiting room. "I'll go check on her." Maggie said softly. "Wait out here."

"I want to see her." Jay said, about to head into the OR.

"You can't." Maggie motioned for him to go sit next to Erin, who was on the couch trembling. "Take care of her. I'll be back in a moment."

Defeated, Jay sank down next to his partner. She turned her face into his shoulder, shoulders quaking. "She's going to be alright." Jay tried to reassure himself and Erin. "She'll be fine."

"She's so tiny." Erin sniffed, her head still buried into his shoulder. "Jay, she was throwing up blood! She was throwing up blood and we didn't hear her!"

"This isn't our fault." Jay said, his voice lacking confidence. He gently rubbed his girl's shaking shoulder. "This isn't our fault."

"If we had heard her, then she wouldn't have passed out in the hallway, then, then…" Erin dissolved into tears. The little girl who she had just gotten back had been ripped away again without notice.


	17. Chapter 17

**Eeeep sorry for the wait! Let me know what you think!**

 **Trigger Warning for Child Abuse**

Erin sat rigidly on the bench in the OR waiting room, Jay by her side. The detectives had been waiting to hear what was going on with their little girl after they woke up to her unconscious in the hallway after throwing up blood. Erin was overcome with guilt, but Jay was trying to remain positive about the situation.

"There wasn't anything we could have done other than what we did." Jay told his girl. "She's in good hands now. She's going to be okay."

Maggie emerged from the OR with Dr. Manning beside her. "She's in surgery right now. Looks like a stomach perf."

Jay looked helpless and troubled as Erin sobbed into his shoulder. "Halstead, why don't you go take a walk? I think Will was headed to the cafeteria. You may be able to catch him." Maggie suggested. She shot him a knowing look, and he nodded.

"I'll be right back babe." Jay kissed her forehead, and left his girl sitting on the sofa bench, crying harder than he'd ever seen her cry before.

Dr. Manning sat on the couch beside her colleague and took her hand. "She's going to be fine, Erin."

"But what if she isn't?" Erin could hardly make out Dr. Manning's face because of the constant stream of tears.

"You did everything right." Natalie placed her hand on Erin's back. "What you need to do now is take a few deep breaths and just wait until the surgery is over."

Erin took a deep breath in, but let it out accompanied by sobs. "You didn't see her." Erin cried, her head in her hands. "She looked so tiny, so fragile, so…dead!" She burst into a fresh set of sobs. "What kind of mother doesn't know when her child is vomiting _blood?"_

"You did everything right, Erin. She's alive." Natalie said calmly. "You can't blame yourself for this." She wrapped an arm around the detective's shoulder and leaned against the wall, allowing Erin to softly weep onto her maroon scrubs.

After a half hour, Jay returned with Will in tow who looked just as haggard as his brother. Dr. Manning stood as they approached. "I'll go check on her surgery." She touched Jay's arm. "She's going to be okay," she promised, then headed down the hallway.

"Erin." Jay said softly. His partner was sitting against the wall, her head in her hands. Her knees were drawn to her chest and her body was shuddering as she struggled to get her breathing under control. Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes as he observed his distressed girl, who was normally so calm and collected in horrible situations.

Gently, Jay sank onto the couch, where she turned her head into his shoulder. Will sat on her other side, placing a comforting hand on Erin's knee. Tears continued to stream down Erin's cheeks as her partner stroked her hair and awaited the news.

* * *

After a few hours, Dr. Manning returned with Dr. Choi. She pulled up a chair and quietly sat down across from Will, Jay and Erin, Choi standing behind her. The detectives looked at the doctors expectantly. "Kate had a stomach ulcer. It perforated the lining, and they had to repair it. That's why she was throwing up blood," Choi reported, his arms folded across his chest.

Jay drew in a breath and tears welled up in Erin's eyes. "It's been almost five hours," The Doctor Halstead said, "Repairing a stomach perf doesn't take that long."

"There have been some complications," Dr. Manning said evenly, "She had a large tear in the abdominal wall as well, separate from the ulcer."

"Oh my God." Erin turned her head into Jay's shoulder, tears threatening to spill over.

"It's alright, she's stable now." Dr. Choi said sympathetically. "It also looks like she had some extensive injuries to her stomach that led to secondary peritonitis, which is an infection the abdominal wall, probably what caused the tear that was induced by the ulcer."

"What?" Will looked at Dr. Manning and Dr. Choi incredulously. "From an ulcer?"

"We believe that the stomach ulcer began by the high amount of stress Kate was under before you found her and ruptured after taking the Motrin for what appeared to be a stomach virus. Her fever, chills and stomach pain were actually caused by the inflammation of the stomach lining, probably a result of the abuse she endured in New York. One of the ribs that appeared to be bruised was slightly fractured, pressing against the stomach, causing the infection," Choi grimaced, "There was no way to have known that it was peritonitis and not the flu, so please don't think this is your fault. We were able to repair the stomach ulcer and abdominal tear and have started her on strong IV anti-biotics for the peritonitis. She's going to be asleep for a bit and it's a long road to recovery, but she's going to be okay."

Will let out a breath. "C-can we see her?" Jay asked, acutely aware of his partner's shaking figure beside him.

Dr. Manning nodded. "Come with me."

* * *

Kate lay peacefully in the hospital bed, connected to an IV, oxygen, pulse ox monitor and other machines that neither Jay or Erin knew the name of. Her skin was pale and damp, but she looked almost angelic while she was sleeping.

"She's so…tiny." Erin murmured as she entered the room, clinging to Jay's arm.

He just nodded, sitting down in a chair by her bed. Jay gently took the hand that didn't have an IV in it and stroked it lovingly. "Oh Squirt," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Will glanced up from Kate's chart that was on the edge of her bed. "She was brought in with a fever of 104," he mused, "It's not uncommon for a fever to rise rapidly like that with peritonitis. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have assumed it was the flu."

"You didn't know." Erin murmured, taking a seat beside her partner and resting a hand on Kate's knee, "Choi said there was no way to have known."

"I still feel terrible." Will looked over at the little girl who was serenely lying in bed. "It's around nine, I'm going to give Voight a call for you, okay?"

"Thanks, man." Jay offered a small smile and turned back to his daughter, wrapping one arm around Erin's shaking shoulders.

* * *

Hank knocked quietly on the door to Kate's room before poking his head in. Erin was asleep with her head on the bed and body in the plastic visitor's chair, snoozing in what looked to be an incredibly uncomfortable position. Jay was sitting wearily beside her, watching as his little girl's chest rose and fell with each breath. "Hey, kid." Hank gave a small smile and stepped into the room.

"Hey Sarge," Jay cleared his throat and ran a hand over his face.

"How's she doing?" Hank asked gently, taking a seat in another plastic chair against the wall on the opposite side of Kate's bed.

"Um, Dr. Manning thinks she'll be awake soon. Probably in a ton of pain." Jay sighed, glancing over at his daughter, "Fever's down from 104 so that's good, but, uh, we don't really know what's going to happen because we don't have a medical history so everything's kind of a guess," He swallowed thickly, "But they seem to think she's gonna pull through."

"Good," Hank replied, not taking his eyes of the little girl in front of him, "They know what caused it?"

"Yeah, uh, last month, in New York when those bastards hit her they cracked a rib that must of hit her stomach, causing a massive infection. When we gave her the motrin, it caused an ulcer in her stomach to open that was there due to all the stress she was under back when Jackson and his crew was abusing her," Jay gripped the railing of the hospital bed tightly, "So basically when we finally catch him, I'm gonna kill him."

Hank nodded slowly, still watching the small child who he had grown quite fond of in the past five months. Erin stirred and lifted her head off the hospital bed, catching Hank's gaze. "Hey, kiddo," Hank offered a sympathetic smile to his daughter, "How are you feeling?"

"'m fine." Erin ran a hand over her face and sat up straighter. "She still out?"

Jay nodded, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders and kissing the side of her head lightly. "Nat said she should be waking up soon." As if on cue, Kate's eyes fluttered open, blearily fixating on her parents. She let out a slight whimper, snapping Erin and Jay back to the present.

"Kate, baby?" Erin leaned closer to her little girl, tucking damp brown hair behind her tiny ears, "Can you hear us?"

"Mm," Kate moaned, struggling to open her eyes wider. She pushed the nasal cannula off her face, wrinkling her nose in disgust. She glanced at the blurry figures in front of her, trying to discern where she was.

"Hi, Squirt," Jay cooed, tears forming in his eyes and threatening to spill over, "Welcome back." Erin held her baby's hand against her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"W-wha…" Kate stuttered, lifting her head slightly.

"Shh, baby, don't try to talk just yet. You've been though a lot. We're in the hospital." Erin wiped her eyes as Jay lifted a cup of water to her lips to help the little girl clear her throat. The little girl sipped carefully, the room in front of her swimming into view.

"M-mommy? Daddy?" She rubbed her eyes with the hand that Erin wasn't holding, Kate glanced around the hospital room and observed her parent's tearful gazes, "W-why are you crying?"

Erin sniffed, wiping the tears off her cheeks. She shook her head, unable to find the words to explain why she was so emotional. "We're just so happy to see you." Jay let out a chuckle, "You had us really worried there for a second," He bent down and softly kissed the little girl's forehead, "How do you feel?"

"Sleepy," Kate mumbled groggily, lifting her free hand to touch Jay's face, as if to make sure he was real, "What happened? W-why am I in the hospital?"

"You got really sick last night," Erin told her, finally finding her words, "Dr. Choi and Dr. Manning had to stitch your tummy up." Kate glanced down at her abdomen and placed her small hand on her tender incision. "Do you hurt, baby?"

Kate shook her head and looked over to the door, where Voight stood with Dr. Halstead, "Sergeant Voight and Uncle Will." Kate smiled tiredly at her two favorite relatives. Both men grinned at the little girl and her parents.

"How's my favorite goose?" Will joked, earning a soft giggle from his niece. Hank looked proudly over at his daughter who hadn't taken her eyes off her baby.

"I got _stitches_ in my tummy." Kate told him seriously and looked over to her father quizzically, "Did I get surg-ry?"

Jay nodded slowly, "You were throwing up lots of blood," he said, stroking her arm. "We brought you here." He glanced over to Will for back up.

"Mm-hm, you did have surgery. You had a nasty infection in your tummy and Dr. Choi needed to stitch you up so it didn't spread," Will tried to explain, "So that means you're gonna have to be very careful for the next few days, okay?"

Kate looked over at her parents who nodded in agreement with Will. "But you'll be all better soon enough." Will emphasized, winking at the little girl, "In the meantime, I think you'll have time to listen to a lot of stories."

She smiled tiredly at the adults in the room. "Can I go back to sleep for a little bit?"

"Of course, baby." Erin stroked Kate's cheek, "Daddy and I will be here when you wake up." The little girl yawned and closed her eyes, and was asleep in seconds.

* * *

While Kate was asleep, Erin made calls to have someone clean the carpet in Kate's room and hallway, so not to remind her daughter what she had been through. "Er." Jay said. "Calm down." She was pacing around the small hospital room, trying to get ahold of someone who could be at their apartment that day.

She put her hands on her hips and turned to her boyfriend. "Jay, Kate doesn't need to come home and see the blood she threw up all over her carpet."

"That's true, but you're panicking. Just take a deep breath. She's still under observation. We have time."

Erin plopped down on the chair. "I guess you're right." she sighed. "I'm just so glad she's okay."

"Me too babe." Jay kissed her temple.

"Break it up, lovebirds." Dr. Will Halstead entered Kate's hospital room, bearing an armful of what appeared to be prescription bottles and a stuffed teddy bear.

"Having some kind of party, Dr. Halstead?" Jay joked, raising his eyebrows at the various sizes of pill bottles Will placed on the table, "Didn't take you for the kind of doctor who dips into his patient's stash."

"You _wish_ I was throwing a rager," Will scoffed, "These are actually all for Kate."

Erin and Jay's jaws dropped simultaneously. "You've got to be kidding," Erin said, eyes widening, "There's like, seven pill bottles there."

"Eight." Will replied, passing Erin a piece of paper. "There's two heavy-duty anti-biotics that Kate's going to need to take for the next four weeks. Also two antacids and two prescriptions that are to help rebuild and strengthen the lining of her stomach. She needs one of each four times a day. You won't need to give them to her at night, but she should take a dose as soon as she wakes up and right before bed. The other two doses are up to you."

"That's six. You said eight." Jay said, glancing down at the list of medications on the paper Will had given Erin.

"Yeah. So a major part of Kate's recovery is pain-management. In order for her ribs and stomach to heal properly, the pain needs to be kept to a minimum. That means she's going to be taking strong painkillers for about eight weeks."

"Eight weeks?" Jay couldn't believe what he was hearing, "She's going to be in that much pain?" Will nodded in response.

"She's four. Should she really be taking _oxy_?" Erin looked up at Will in disbelief, "Isn't that, like, crazy dangerous?"

He grimaced and nodded, "It's a lower dose because she's a child, but she's going to be in a ton of pain, so trust me, you're going to want her to take them. Same timeline, probably around every four hours. You've gotta be really careful with these though. They might not make her feel all that great but it's going to be better than the pain."

"It's not going to be a problem." Erin looked to Jay, emphasizing that her past association with prescription drugs wouldn't be a reason for him to worry, "If it's going to help her, I don't think we have much choice."

* * *

Will Halstead pushed Kate's wheelchair out through the hospital's atrium. "I'm glad to have you feeling better, kiddo," he said as they stopped in front of the door.

"I'm glad too." Kate wrapped her tiny arms around her uncle. "Thank you for taking care of me Uncle Will."

"Anytime, Goosey." He smiled at his brother and Erin. "She's all yours."

Jay carefully scooped Kate up and started out to the Sierra. "Thanks again for everything." Erin smiled at Will, giving his arm a squeeze.

"Please, anyone in this hospital would do anything for your kid." Will's voice got quieter. "I'd give her a few hours before the powerful meds we've gave her to start wearing off. First dose of pain meds can be tomorrow morning," He paused as Lindsay nodded, "The next couple weeks are going to be hard. She's going to be in a lot of pain. It may not seem like it right now, with the morphine still circulating through her system…but you know how powerful the meds she's going to be taking are."

Lindsay nodded again and grimaced slightly. "I know."

Will gave Lindsay's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Good luck."

"Thank you." Lindsay turned and exited the atrium to where the Sierra was parked.

* * *

Erin had gotten ahold of a cleaning service to remove the blood from Kate's carpet, so the apartment was quite tidy when the exhausted family entered. Jay carefully carried his daughter over to the couch and gingerly set her against the cushions, hoping to cause as little discomfort as possible. "How about some juice, huh, Squirt?" he asked, heading for the kitchen to fill a sippy cup with apple juice.

She nodded tiredly and accepted the cup while her parents stood in the kitchen. "She's doing remarkably well." Jay turned to his girlfriend who was examining the contents of their refrigerator. Hank had been thoughtful enough to drop off some groceries before they got home.

Erin nodded and pulled out a casserole dish of ziti. "I know, but Will said that this is temporary. She's still got morphine in her system. When that wears off, she's going to be in a ton of pain."

Jay sighed and eased himself down on a kitchen chair. "You're right. I just don't want to tell her now. She's doing so well." He glanced over his little girl, who was tiredly watching an Animal Planet program that he had switched on.

"Why don't we have dinner and get her to bed early? Maybe if she's asleep we can avoid the inevitable," Erin suggested, tilting the casserole dish so that Jay could see, "And Hank made Camille's baked ziti. Just needs to go in for twenty minutes."

"Sounds good." he responded and went out to the living room to check on his daughter. "Are you up for dinner?" Jay asked Kate, settling down on the couch next to her. She nodded sluggishly, widening her drooping eyes ever so slightly. "How do you feel about some pasta?"

"Okay." Kate leaned tiredly against her father, "I'm not very hungry."

"I know, Squirt, but it's important that we get some food in your tummy before we take the medicine, okay?" He ran a hand over her head and kissed her forehead, so grateful that his baby was finally home and in his arms. She seemed to accept the prospect of food but continued to sag against Jay's chest in exhaustion.

"Hank made the pasta." Erin piped up from the kitchen, sliding the dish into the oven, "It was Camille's recipe."

"Sergeant Voight's wife?" Kate widened her eyes again and sat a little straighter so that she could see Erin, "He said she was the best cook ever."

Erin smiled wistfully. Oh how she wished that Camille was still alive to meet her precious baby girl. She would have fallen in love with Kate's kind demeanor and often reminded Erin of her late mother-figure with her mannerisms and ability to get Hank to bend to her every wish. "Yep, that's right. Camille used to make the most amazing family dinners and we used to eat together every Sunday."

"We have breakfast with Sergeant Voight every Sunday!" Kate's eyes lit up at the realization that her family had the same traditions, "And then we feed the ducks." Erin nodded and bent down to kiss her daughter's head.

"Mm-hm. I think it's his favorite time of the week." Jay put his hand up to Erin's cheek, "And I think it's mine, too."

"Me too." Kate replied, leaning in closer to her father. She tilted her head back and looked up at him. "You're scruffly, Daddy." Kate touched his chin that hadn't been shaved in a few days.

"I am a bit scruffly." Jay chuckled and ran a hand over his face, "But I think Mommy likes it." He waggled his eyebrows at Erin, who responded with an exaggerated eye roll.

"I'm going to take a quick shower, okay? The ziti will be ready in like fifteen." Erin rose to her feet and headed for the shower, leaving Jay and Kate snuggled together on the couch.

* * *

"I'm sorry I scared you," Kate whispered after a while, looking at her hands as if anticipating a punishment, "I didn't mean to." Jay blinked, having zoned out listening to his baby's soft breath against his chest.

"It's not your fault kiddo," Jay stroked his daughter's hair, "I was just really worried about you. So was Mommy."

"Did Uncle Will find out why I was sick?"

Jay smiled. "You bet. And he said you're going to be all better in no time."

Kate looked up at her father with soft, knowing eyes. "Is it because of what happened in New York?" she asked quietly. Jay's heart broke, as he could tell that Kate knew how the traumatic ordeal had caused the infection and subsequent surgery.

Jay nodded slowly. "Do you want me to tell you about it?" He didn't want to scare her, but was felt he owed it to her to tell her what really happened. He and Erin had decided back when they first brought Kate into their lives that they didn't want to lie to her about anything. At the same time, the new father really didn't want to traumatize precious, innocent child any further.

Kate nodded. "I-I had a lot of tummy aches before I met you," she glanced up at her father, "And Uncle Will said it was the tummy aches that made me sick."

Jay closed his eyes briefly, trying to figure out a way to convey to his daughter what had happened, "So before we met and you had lots of tummy aches, those aches made your stomach very sensitive. And a few weeks ago, when the bad men took you," Jay swallowed, trying not to allow the tears that welled up in his eyes to spill over, "You got hurt in your ribs. And your rib touched your tummy which allowed an infection to get in there and make you sick. And then," Jay cleared his throat, "Your tummy got really overwhelmed and tore, which was why you needed the surgery to fix you up." He paused and studied his little girl's features as she processed the information, "Does that make sense?"

"M-my tummy hurts when I get scared," Kate's voice quivered, "I did this to myself?"

"Oh, no, no, no." Jay quickly refuted, "Not at all. It was the infection that made you so sick and made your tummy tear, not you."

"So it's not my fault?" Kate asked, appearing incredibly relieved. Jay felt his heart clench for the umpteenth time that day. His poor, sweet, innocent baby had been through the depths of hell and back and thought _she_ was to blame. What he wouldn't give for fifteen minutes in the cage with that monster for all the pain he caused his precious child.

"Kate, sweetheart, what I'm about to tell you is really important." Jay took a breath and looked directly into his little girl's tired hazel eyes. "Nothing that happened to you before we met or in New York is your fault. At all. You have done absolutely _nothing_ wrong. Everything that happened to you is on those horrible people. You have never been bad and you did not deserve _one second_ of the abuse you endured." Tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes as Jay fought to continue, "You are a perfect, brave and incredible little girl and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for the fact that I wasn't there for you when you needed me." Jay touched his baby's cheek. "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, but I love you _so much_ , Squirt. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise."

She nodded and gingerly raised her arms so that Jay could lift her into a hug. Gently, Jay laid his daughter on his chest and felt her head nestle into his neck. "I love you too, Daddy," Kate whispered, giving him a feeble squeeze. Jay closed his eyes and held her against his body, basking in the love he had for the child he only knew existed five months ago. "It's not your fault, either," she murmured, slowly being lulled to sleep by Jay's soft strokes down her back, "You and Mommy _saved_ me."

Jay didn't reply, too overcome with emotion to speak. He opened his eyes and caught Erin's watery gaze as she leaned against the doorframe to their bedroom, having witnessed the entire exchange. Jay smiled and opened up his arm so that his girl could snuggle in with their family.


	18. Chapter 18

**Let me know what you think!**

The bedroom was dark, except for the faint glow of the alarm clock that cast a small beam of light onto Erin's forehead and Jay's nose. There was a soft hum of the apartment that seemed to get softer as the night wore on, blending into the background. Jay was fast asleep on his back, in traditional Halstead fashion, with his mouth slightly agape and the occasional snore escaping his lips. Erin was wrapped around his torso with her head snuggled into Jay's chest, brown hair splayed across his pillow.

Kate quietly crept into the bedroom, peering nervously at her sleeping parents. It was hard to see in the darkened room but as the little girl got closer, she could tell that both Erin and Jay were there, snuggled together in the middle of the bed. "Mommy?" Kate whispered, "Daddy?" She quietly tiptoed around the bed and put her tiny hand on her mother's arm.

Erin indolently opened her eyes, turning her head to see her daughter. "Kate? What's going on? Are you okay?" The young detective snapped into mommy-mode and sat up in bed, "Do you feel sick?"

She shook her head slightly, a stray tear trickling down her cheek. "I'm scared," Kate moved closer to the mattress, shivering slightly. She was wearing a pair flannel pajamas with a button up top so that she wouldn't have to raise her arms over her head. Despite being clad in fuzzy socks as well, the little girl was chilled from the early December Chicago wind that swirled against the windows.

"What are you scared of, baby?" Erin pushed the covers off her lap and glanced down at her little girl. Fresh tears were welling in her daughter's eyes, threatening to join the dried tracks that streaked down her pale cheeks.

Kate just shook her head again. She was clutching her stuffed tiger in one hand, and had her other arm over her stomach. She peered over Erin's shoulder to see her father and shyly looked up at her mother. "C-can I sleep in your bed tonight?"

Erin's eyes softened as her heart broke for the child in front of her. "Of course you can. Be careful, we don't want to rip your stitches." She cautiously helped her daughter onto the bed and pulled her closer, settling Kate in between her and Jay. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Kate nodded, cuddling closer to her mother. Erin pulled the covers over the little girl in an attempt to warm her up. "I don't want anyone to come get me."

"You're safe here, don't worry." Erin kissed the top of Kate's head. "You're right between Mommy and Daddy."

At the mention of his name, Jay rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbows. "Bad dream?" he asked Erin, who had her arm keeping Kate close. He squinted down at the tiny body between them and found his daughter's glassy hazel gaze. "Hi, Squirt."

Erin nodded, turning her head to face her partner. "The monitor didn't make any noise though." she commented, soothingly stroking Kate's hair, "I told her she could stay with us tonight."

"Are you feeling all right kiddo?" Jay asked blearily, rubbing his eyes. He placed a hand on his little girl's cheek, gently wiping away a few tears with his thumb.

"I hurt," she whimpered after a moment, "but not any more or less than earlier." Kate put her hand on her head. "I'm kinda woozy too."

"I think your tummy is sore and the pain meds are wearing off, making you a bit dizzy." Erin continued to run her fingers through her daughter's hair. "Falling asleep will make you feel better. We can take some medicine to help it hurt less in the morning."

Kate nodded tiredly, already falling asleep in the comfort of her parents. "Good night squirt, sleep well." Jay whispered, pressing a kiss on his daughter's forehead.

Kate closed her eyes and instantly was overcome with sleep. Erin looked over at her partner with worry lines etched in her face. "Don't worry babe," he mumbled, reaching out to run his thumb across her cheek, just like he had done to his little girl, "She gets the pain meds as soon as she wakes up."

Erin managed a small smile at her partner before closing her eyes and succumbing to sleep as well, burying her face in Kate's hair.

* * *

"Argh," Jay muttered at six when the alarm went off. He rarely ever required an alarm to wake up, but after a dramatic few days his body was desperately craving sleep. The grey December morning allowed for little light to stream in through the windows, leaving the bedroom dark and cozy.

"You can shower first." Erin said without opening her eyes. She looked so peaceful with one arm wrapped around Kate and the other resting lightly on his hip but Jay did not want to leave the snuggly confines of their bed. After a beat, he sighed and begrudgingly slid off the warm mattress, heading for the shower.

When he had finished, Jay softly sat down on the bed and kissed his girl's dry lips. "Good morning," he whispered, brushing a few strands of hair off her forehead, "It's time to get up."

Erin lazily opened her eyes and looked up at him, taking note of the dressy button down shirt he was wearing. "We have to be in court, don't we?"

Jay nodded, checking his watch. "Kate," he said gently, reaching over his girl to rub his daughter's arm, "Wake up Squirt."

The little girl didn't move and remained cuddled into her mother's side. Erin propped herself up on her elbows and glanced worriedly at Jay. "Kate, baby," she tenderly stroked her daughter's hair, "I guess she had a bad nightmare last night."

Jay shrugged and frowned slightly. "Good news is, she gets the pain meds this morning so that should help a bit." He got up from the bed. "I'll start the coffee."

"Kate," Erin said again, peeling the covers off, "It's time to wake up sweetheart. You're going to hang out with Hank for a bit so Daddy and I can go to court. Maybe read some new books."

"Mommy?" Kate opened her eyes and immediately winced. "My tummy hurts."

"Oh baby, I know it does." Erin toyed with Kate's soft hair. "We have some medicine in the kitchen to make it feel better, okay?"

The child gripped Erin's arm as she tried to get out of the bed. "Don't go Mommy," Kate whimpered, tears filling her eyes.

"I have to get ready for work. Daddy's right outside and I'll just be in the bathroom. Maybe you could try to go back to sleep for a little?" Erin glanced to the bedroom door for Jay, but he was already in the kitchen.

The little girl nodded and released her mother's arm. "I'm going to shower now, you can stay in bed for a few more minutes." Erin gently kissed her forehead before heading to the bathroom.

20 minutes later Erin returned, dropping the damp towel into the hamper. "Kate." Erin carefully pulled the covers off her tired child's head. "Come on sweetheart. I know you're sleepy, but Sergeant Voight is waiting for us and he has some new stories for you."

"Mama," Kate's voice broke, "It hurts. So bad." Her lower lip quivered. "I-I-I can't sit up." Concerned, Erin sat down on the bed next to her daughter, taking note of the little girl's features that were twisted in anguish.

"Can I bring you to Daddy?" She ran her fingers through Kate's hair. "He has some medicine in the kitchen for you that's going to make you feel a whole lot better."

"It hurts when I move," Kate complained, tears spilling over her cheeks. Erin knew that Kate never complained about anything and tended to downplay any type of ache, so any admission of pain must mean the child was in agony. She frowned and glanced at her baby's stomach, heart aching for Kate's misery.

"I'm going to carry you into the kitchen now. Daddy will look at your stitches and make sure everything's okay, sound good?" Kate nodded tearfully, wiping a shaking hand over her cheeks. Erin gently maneuvered the little girl into her arms and carried her toward the kitchen, Kate emitting soft squeaks of discomfort as she was shifted.

"There are my two favorite girls." Jay smiled when he saw Erin and Kate. It quickly faded when he realized Kate had her head buried in her mother's shoulder and that Erin looked absolutely overwhelmed. "What's wrong?"

"Her stomach is really bothering her," Erin told him, rubbing Kate's back. "Kate? Can Daddy look at your stitches?"

Reluctantly, Kate allowed Erin to set her down on the counter, a soft groan escaping her lips as her bottom made contact with the cold granite. "Morning, kiddo, how are you feeling?" Jay asked, wiping a few stray tears from his child's cheek. His poor little girl looked pale and disheveled, her eyes swollen and red from the tears.

"Tummy hurts." Kate managed, recoiling as Jay made an attempt to lift her pajama top. She let out a plaintive whimper at his touch, causing him to halt his movements. Erin raised her eyebrows at her partner, silently willing him to be especially cautious.

"Is it okay if I take a look at your tummy? Just to make sure everything's okay?" Jay asked gently while Erin rubbed circles on the little girl's back. Kate nodded, letting her father to lift up the pajama top so he could slowly peel back the dressing on her belly.

Jay tentatively inspected his daughter's stitches before replacing the bandages."She couldn't even sit up," Erin whispered to her partner. He grimaced and gently rolled down Kate's pajama top.

"They're healing nicely," he said, pasting a smile to his face in an effort to make his little girl feel better, "You'll be all better soon enough."

"Her stomach is pretty swollen," Erin commented, tenderly placing her hand on Kate's abdomen. Kate winced at the contact, another distressed whimper rolling off her tongue.

"Will said to expect swelling and discomfort, especially around the incision area," Jay reassured her, still looking concernedly at his hurting child, "Where does your tummy hurt Squirt?"

"Everywhere," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes, "It just hurts so badly." Jay frowned, running a comforting hand over Kate's head.

"Do you think we should take her in?" Erin looked at her partner. "Jay, she couldn't move without excruciating pain," she paused and lowered her voice, "And she _never_ complains."

Jay thought for a moment but shook his head. "I don't know if we should put her through that. Will said it's normal after surgery in the abdomen, especially considering the morphine's worn off. Plus he's coming by the district today for lunch. We can give her the pain meds now though." Erin nodded, convinced that her partner was right.

"Okay, but any worse I think we should go," Erin said, grimacing as poor Kate let another whimper slip through her lips. Jay nodded in agreement, kissing the top of Kate's head and brushing away a few tears that remained on her cheeks. "Does your tummy ache like last night, baby?"

"It hurts worse than last night," Kate complained, holding her stomach gingerly with both hands, "So much worse."

"The medicine should help make it hurt less." Jay stroked her head. He turned to his partner. "I guess the morphine and other drugs have totally left her system."

"Poor thing." Erin looked at her daughter sympathetically. She reached into the cabinet and pulled out the bag of medications, placing them on the counter.

"There's so many." Kate looked at the antibiotics, antacids, stomach healing and pain medications, "I have to take all those?"

"Sorry, babes, but they're going to make your tummy heal so you're not hurting," Erin promised, retrieving two plastic cups and the bottle of apple juice from the fridge.

Jay took out the correct dosage from each medicine and put it into a cup. He poured the liquid syrup into the small plastic cups and placed them on the counter next to his daughter.

"The pills are just like your vitamins," Erin said. The nurses at the hospital had been impressed that someone of Kate's age could swallow pills without a fuss. "And the liquid medication will work fast."

"And the good news is that they'll make you feel a whole lot better." Jay filled a cup with water and one with apple juice to follow the liquid medication that he knew was going to taste disgusting.

Kate took each pill one by one and swallowed the syrup. She wrinkled her nose at the taste, confirming Jay's suspicion. "When will they work?" she asked, rubbing her eyes again.

"They should start working in a minute or two." Jay helped her down from the counter. "Do you think you can walk?" Kate tentatively took a few steps and sighed in relief, nodding that she could indeed walk without severe pain. "How about if you go brush your teeth? Mommy or I will be there in a bit to help you change, sound good? And then you get to hang out with Sergeant Voight for an hour or so while we go to court, and we'll come home early."

The little girl nodded again and slowly headed to the bathroom. "Remember to be super careful!" Jay called after her. He turned to Erin and let out a breath. "I guess this is when the pain is supposed to set in."

"Loss of appetite, nausea, dizziness, fatigue…" Erin trailed off, holding two bottles of medicine in her hands. "Look at all these side effects."

"A lot of meds mean a lot of side effects." Jay shrugged, examining other bottles.

"Drowsiness is a main side effect on this one." She pointed out, reading the label of one of Kate's many bottles. She set it down and leaned over the counter top.

"It looks like drowsiness is a side effect of four of the six." Jay told her after inspecting the labels.

"And she takes each of these four times a day for the next four months." Erin showed him the prescription. "Poor thing will be exhausted."

"At least she won't be sick." Jay sighed, reaching out for his girl. Erin embraced her partner, and he held her closely. "You look beautiful today." he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. She smiled and rested her head against his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Erin shrugged and yawned tiredly. "Is it paranoid of me to be so concerned about her?" she asked, her words muffled against his dressy court attire.

"Not at all." he kissed her gently. "Have some coffee." he handed her a mug, which she accepted gratefully.

* * *

A wail echoed from the bathroom just as Erin was about to finish her last sip of coffee. "Kate!" Erin yelped, dropping the mug on the kitchen floor, letting it shatter to pieces. Jay, in the midst of lacing up his court shoes, sprinted for the bathroom, Erin right behind him.

Kate was curled up in a ball on the bathroom shower mat, her knees drawn to her chest in agony. "What happened?" Jay exclaimed, sinking down to his daughter's level. He put his hand on her forehead and stroked it gently with his thumb. "Is it your stomach?"

The little girl nodded weakly. "I tried to take my shirt off and I-I-I…" She stuttered before dissolving into tears.

"Oh, sweetheart." Erin crouched down next to her partner and delicately placed her hand on Kate's back. "Daddy and I will help you. Come here, let's get you sitting up."

"I can't!" Kate wailed, fresh tears streaking down her face. "It hurts!" Jay reached out unbutton her shirt so he could look at her stitches, but a howl of pain stopped his hand. "No, no, no!"

Erin and Jay exchanged glances. "We should take her in." Jay sighed as Erin rubbed Kate's back. "I don't think this much pain is common for stomach surgery. Especially with the painkillers."

"Don't make me move." Kate whimpered, looking up at her parents with wet, swollen eyes. "Don't make me."

"We can't just have you lying on the floor in pain, kiddo." Jay turned to his partner again. Erin nodded in agreement, continuing to rub her daughter's back. Kate groaned again, her face screwed tightly in anguish.

"Hang on, Jay." Erin tentatively lifted the edge of Kate's pajama top, revealing an angry rash that was spreading across her daughter's back. "She's having an allergic reaction to one of the medications." Erin's eyes were wide. "We gotta get her to Med, right now."

"No no no no no no no!" shrieked Kate, "No no no!" She burst into tears again, her entire body wracked with sobs.

"I'm so sorry baby," Erin stood quickly, "but we need to get some medicine in you as soon as possible." Kate wailed, desperately trying to keep Jay from picking her up.

"I know you're hurting, kiddo, that's why we gotta take you." Jay grimaced at the thought of causing his daughter any type of pain, but quickly realized she would be far worse off if he did nothing. He carefully lifted the little girl, who let out a shrill squeal in displeasure, her small body convulsing in sobs.

Erin placed a coat over her daughter as she bawled in her father's arms. "You're being so brave, sweet girl," she cooed, grabbing Jay's coat and her own before opening the front door. "I know it hurts, but we're going to take care of it really soon."

"It's not fair!" Kate cried as Erin sped through the intersection, lights flashing. Jay was sprawled across the backseat of the Sierra with Kate in his arms in an attempt to provide the little girl some relief, but nothing seemed to work. She moaned pitifully as Erin took the right turn. "It's not fair."

"I know it's not." Jay stroked her hair, noting how pale her face had gotten. "Are you going to get sick?" Kate groaned again and clutched her stomach tighter, struggling to take a breath. "Er, she can barely breathe!" Jay exclaimed, all attempts to keep his cool failing. Kate inhaled sharply and coughed forcefully, resulting in a screech of anguish.

"We're almost there, baby, hang tight." Erin peeled into the emergency entrance and slammed on the breaks.

"I'm dizzy." Kate gasped out as Jay quickly got out of the car, Kate in his arms. Her breathing had become increasingly labored as the drive wore on and was now desperate, tortured wheezes.

"So close, kiddo, you're being so brave." Halstead rushed toward the entrance, Erin on his heels.

"I'm gonna…" Kate started before vomiting all over the sidewalk, narrowly missing her father's shoes as he sprinted for the ED doors. "Ow." She moaned, "Ow ow ow."

"Don't worry baby, we're here." Lindsay pushed open the emergency department double doors. Kate's labored breathing turned into panicked gulps for air as her parents began searching for a doctor that they knew. "Maggie, she's having an allergic reaction to one of her meds." Lindsay shouted, catching sight of the senior ED nurse.

Maggie raced over and accepted the bag of medicine that Lindsay thrust at her. "Get me a bed!" The seasoned nurse hollered, rattling off commands at various interns and other nurses. She turned to doctor. "Anaphylaxis. Allergic to one of these." She handed the man a bag of the medication before turning to the family.

"Jay! What's going on?" Dr. Halstead emerged from a trauma bay and caught sight of his niece struggling to breathe.

"She's allergic to one of the meds." Jay said breathlessly, Kate gasping desperately in his arms.

"Do something!" Erin exclaimed frantically. Within the minute, Jay set Kate on a hospital bed and Will administered some type of painkiller and epinephrine, because the little girl had finally quieted. Her breathing quickly went from erratic gasps to slower wheezes for air until the child dozed off, spent from the exertion.

"Poor thing." Jay mused, stroking her hair off Kate's damp forehead. He turned to his partner. "Good catch on the allergic reaction."

Lindsay grimaced tiredly and let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. "Let's just figure out what medicine did this to her so she can finally get some rest."

Halstead pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'll call Hank. Tell him we'll be late."

Lindsay nodded and continued to stroke Kate's head.

* * *

After two hours in the ED figuring out which medicine Kate was allergic to, the family headed home so that the tired little girl could get some rest. According to the State's attorney, Jay needed to testify to make the case, while it would be okay if Erin missed it. "Are you two going to be alright if I go to court?" Jay asked, carrying his fatigued daughter down the hall to their apartment, "I don't think I should be long." The little girl hadn't uttered a word since entering the ED, falling in and out of sleep as she was examined and moved.

"We'll be fine," Erin opened the door, "I think she just needs to sleep."

Jay nodded in agreement and headed for his daughter's bedroom to allow her some much-needed rest. Kate whimpered, wrapping her arms tighter around his neck. "Don't worry squirt, this medicine should do the trick. You're going to be feeling better in no time." Jay stroked the back of her head gently, resting his cheek against Kate's soft hair.

"Uh-uh." Kate shook her head and let out another whimper as Jay tried to ease her into bed. "Daddy no." She pleaded, tears leaking out of her eyes. "Don't go, don't go."

"You need some rest Squirt." Jay sat down atop the light blue comforter, Kate still in his arms. "You're exhausted. You had a major surgery this week, your body needs to recover."

Erin entered the bedroom, bearing Kate's new cocktail of medication and a cup of water. "Okay baby, so these new pills need to be taken with some food, so do you think we could have a little bite to eat?"

Kate shook her head again, burying her face into Jay's neck. "I've got to go to work, Squirt. They really need me, otherwise I wouldn't leave you." Jay slowly loosened the child's grip. "But Mommy is going to be here with you and I'll be home before you know it." He gently passed Kate over to Erin, where she crumbled into her mother's embrace.

"Ow, Mama, ow," Kate moaned, curling in tighter to Erin's frame, "It _hurts_."

"We have to get some meds in her." Jay placed a hand on Erin's back. "As soon as she eats something."

"How about some food babes?" Erin nuzzled the top of Kate's head. "And we can hang out on the couch all day. We could read some of the new books from Sergeant Platt or watch a new episode of Planet Earth."

Kate replied with a whimper. Erin and Jay exchanged looks, but Erin nodded at her partner, recognizing that he was needed at the courthouse. After a moment, Jay turned to leave for work. "Daddy!" Kate cried out, bursting into tears.

"He'll be home soon, don't you worry." Erin followed with Kate still in her arms, trailing after her partner as he headed for the front door. "Do you want to give Daddy a hug good bye?"

"Nuh-uh," Kate mumbled, her face remaining in Erin's neck, "I hurt too much to move."

Jay and Erin's hearts broke. "Oh, sweetheart." He leaned in and placed a kiss on her damp forehead. "I love you." He turned to his girlfriend. "These meds will work." Jay said confidently, running a finger down Kate's cheek.

"Except for the fact that they're going to make her a hell of a lot more tired." Erin sighed, looking over at the shattered mug and coffee that littered the kitchen floor. "You better get to courthouse or ASA Stone is going to be pissed. I'll take it from here."

"You sure?" Jay reached for her hand. "I could stay you know. Even just for a little bit."

She smiled sadly. "Yes, but you have a jury waiting for you. I'll take care of our little patient, and see you for dinner, okay?" Erin pressed her lips to Jay's. "I love you."

"Love you." He mumbled against her lips.


	19. Chapter 19

**Poor little Kate has been through a lot but don't worry things will be looking up soon. Let me know if you like it!**

"She's still in pain." Erin spoke into her phone as she sat on the couch, her daughter curled up in her lap. Kate had barely uttered a few words since Jay had left and remained glued to Erin, unwilling to release her mother's sweater from her tiny fists.

"The medicine hasn't kicked in yet?" Jay asked, ignoring a pointed look from the court martial. He was set to testify next and had slipped out in order to take Erin's call, unable to pay attention to the trial when his little girl was at home and in pain.

"The new pills need to be taken with food, and I can't get her to eat anything." Erin sighed. "I've got crackers, bread, juice and the meds on the coffee table but she's just in too much pain to move." She ran her fingers through Kate's hair, gently trying to soothe her aching child.

"What about a popsicle or something?" Jay suggested, flipping his hand at the officer who tried to get him to leave, "Something cool might appeal. Then go for bread or crackers and hopefully medicine."

"Alright. I'll call you if anything changes." Erin hung up her phone and glanced down at her little girl. "Kate, baby, what about a popsicle? Does that sound good?"

Kate didn't immediately respond. "Can it be purple?" she asked after a beat, her little voice sounding tearful.

"Of course." Erin smiled, relieved that Kate expressed any interest in food. "I'm going to bring you to the kitchen, all right? Because I need to get the popsicle from the freezer and I can't do that without moving you."

"But it's gonna hurt." Kate whimpered, pressing herself into her mother, fresh tears leaking onto Erin's shoulder.

"I know, but the popsicle means you can take some medicine that won't make you sick, how does that sound?"

"Okay." Kate whispered, and groaned as her mother carried her to the kitchen. Erin quickly snagged two grape popsicles out of the freezer and settled in a chair at the kitchen table.

"Does that taste good?" Erin asked as Kate slowly worked through her popsicle. Her eyes had dried a little, but they remained red and swollen from all the tears, "Purple is my favorite flavor too."

"Mmm," she replied, snuggling in closer to her mother, gently placing the popsicle stick on the table beside Erin's, "Can I take the medicine now?"

"Do you think you could have a piece of bread first?" Erin handed her daughter a piece of plain bread, which she ate slowly. "Good girl." She pressed a kiss atop Kate's head after she swallowed the medication, "I am so proud of you sweetheart. You're being so brave."

Kate and Erin resumed their spot on the couch, Kate still holding tight to her mother. Erin continued to cradle her little girl in her lap, attempting to get her to sleep. After a while, Erin dialed Jay, figuring he would be out of the courtroom. "Popsicle worked," she breathed as soon as he answered.

"She got the meds down?"

"She's still in pain though. We have barely moved all day." Erin looked down at Kate, who was staring at the blank television screen. They hadn't so much as turned it on due to Kate's dizziness. "She's so dizzy. And in a lot of pain."

"The medicine didn't help at all?" Jay sighed, dragging a hand over his face.

"Not really, no." She rubbed her eyes. "When are you coming home?"

"Hopefully I'll be home for a late dinner." Jay replied. "I'll keep you updated."

"Bye babe." She closed her phone, feeling Kate's forehead. "Any better?"

Kate's eyes filled with tears for the umpteenth time that day. "No."

"It's going to be alright," Erin soothed, gently rubbing her daughter's arm. "I know it hurts now, but it's going to get better."

Kate whimpered. "Why don't you try to go to sleep? You haven't even napped today." Erin suggested.

"I can't." Kate replied tearfully. "It hurts too bad. And I'm too scared."

"What's scaring you?"

"The mean men." She whispered, tears continuing to drip down her face. "I'm sorry for crying, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Shh, baby." Erin held her child closer. "It'll get better. I'll keep you safe."

* * *

"Sorry for crying so much." Kate whispered later that afternoon, when she was cuddled up against her mother on the couch.

"Don't apologize baby." Erin stroked her daughter's cheek. "You're in pain. You're allowed to cry. It wasn't your fault you had an allergic reaction."

A tear slipped down Kate's cheek. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Erin asked, wiping her cheek, "Do you feel sick?"

"I still hurt." The little girl looked up at her mother with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby." Erin held her child close, running her fingers through her hair. "Did the medicine make any difference?"

She shrugged then winced. "I'm just dizzy."

"And your tummy hurts?" Kate nodded then squeezed her eyes shut, disturbed by the motion. More tears slipped down her cheeks. "Can you try to eat some more bread? You can take another dose of medicine in an hour."

Jay returned to the apartment, bearing take out, at around seven. Kate had finally fallen asleep after the second dose of medication kicked in, but she remained clamped to Erin, and Erin was too worried to move. She sat for four hours as her daughter slept and finally allowed her own tears to slip down her cheeks.

"Erin?" Jay called quietly into the dark apartment when he entered. There was only a lowlight on in the kitchen, but the rest of the living room and bedrooms were barely visible in the early December evening light.

"In here." She whispered back, quickly wiping her eyes. "She's asleep." Jay set the takeout bags down on the kitchen counter before flipping the lights on in the living room.

"Are you alright?" Jay asked as soon as he noticed her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Erin nodded, but then quickly shook her head. "What's wrong?" He sank down beside her and wiped her cheek.

"I couldn't help her," Erin replied tearfully, "This poor child was in so much pain and I couldn't do anything."

"Hey, hey, hey." Jay stroked her cheek. "She's alright. There's nothing you could do besides what you did. Have you been sitting here all day?" Erin nodded. "You've been on the couch with her for seven hours. Kate knows you were doing all that you could."

"I know, but…but…" Erin stuttered, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes.

"You were amazing, Er." Jay pressed a kiss into the side of her head. The couple sat on the couch like that for a few more minutes before Jay turned to his girlfriend. "What is Kate's medicine schedule again?"

"Every four hours during the day. So she needs another dose before we put her to bed." Erin looked down at her daughter. "Should we wake her up now?"

"Might as well." Jay received a look that indicated he should wake up the little girl. "Hi Squirt. Wake up, kiddo."

Groggily, Kate opened her eyes. "I'm sorry we had to wake you up Squirt, but it's time for some more medicine, and then you can go to bed." Jay gently lifted the little girl out of her mother's tired arms. Kate was in a drug-induced haze, not fully asleep but definitely not awake.

"Daddy? Mommy?" Kate mumbled and whimpered when her body shifted.

"Hi honey." Erin cooed, "You've been asleep for a little while now. We have to take more medicine." Kate let out another whimper. "I know babes, but after you take your medicine you can have a nice, long, sleep."

Jay managed to coax Kate into eating a few crackers before taking her medicine and settling her in her bed. "No Daddy." Kate cried as her father set her down on the mattress, appearing more lucid, "No, no, no!"

He glanced at the doorframe where Erin leaned, exhausted. "Sleep is what will make you heal faster." Jay kissed Kate's forehead.

"No please!" She sniveled desperately, "Please don't leave me."

"Let's bring her to our bed." Erin spoke up, stifling a yawn. Jay nodded and gently lifted Kate, who breathed a sigh of relief. He tucked her in between his and Erin's sides before kissing her forehead again.

"Mommy and I will be right outside, alright?" Kate nodded sleepily and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight sweetheart." Erin gave the little girl a kiss and then leaned into her partner, who put his arm around her.

"You haven't eaten all day, have you?" Jay asked after exiting the bedroom. Erin shook her head and sank into a kitchen chair, barely able to keep her head up right.

Erin caught a glimpse of herself in the oven's reflection. "At least I look as crappy as I feel." She commented on her haggard appearance.

Jay set plate with cold noodles on it and slumped into the chair next to his partner. "You've barely slept in the last week." He handed Erin a fork, and the two of them dug into the takeout. "And I've got a feeling that this isn't going to be an easy few days."

Erin nodded sadly, chewing thoughtfully on a forkful of noodles. "Contact feels good to her I think. Poor thing just didn't want to let me go."

Jay smiled softly. "Because she trusts us. Which is huge for her."

* * *

"Can I have some coffee please?" A few days later, Kate was sitting at the kitchen table, Erin helping her put on boots while Jay got ready. The past week Erin and Jay had traded off going into work and staying home with Kate. Due to the stitches, Kate had been taking baths with a washcloth and rinsing her hair in the kitchen sink but was finally able to take a short shower this morning. It was also the first day the little girl was feeling well enough to walk around and eat more than just popsicles, juice and crackers.

"Why do you want coffee silly?" Erin tied the laces into a bow. "Only grown ups drink coffee."

"I want to stay awake," Kate said seriously. "Honest Mommy I'm so tired."

"Coffee is really bad for tiny bodies like yours." Erin tapped her chin, trying to come up with a solution for the little girl who looked desperate. "I can give you some orange juice. People drink it in the morning because they have natural enzymes that wake you up."

Kate nodded eagerly and accepted a sippy cup full of juice. "Can you try to eat something before we leave?" Erin asked. "How about some oatmeal? Does that sound good?"

Kate shrugged and watched her mother stir boiling water into the uncooked oats. Her eyes kept closing and it was a sure struggle to keep them open. She jumped when Erin set the bowl in front of her.

"Eat up babes, we gotta get going." Erin headed to the sink to do the breakfast dishes.

"Uh, I don't feel so good." Kate pushed the bowl of oatmeal away less than two minutes after Erin had set it in front of her.

"You're not hungry?" Jay set his badge and service weapon down on the counter and glanced at his daughter. "Squirt?" He approached the kitchen table, kneeling beside Kate. "Er, she's gone white as a sheet."

"I don't feel good." Kate repeated, beginning to panic. "I-I-I think I'm going to throw up."

Erin rushed over with the garbage can and placed it under Kate's chin just in time. "Ugh," Kate moaned, tears filling her eyes. "Ouch."

Jay glanced into the trash. "Oh, sweetheart, I think the orange juice was too acidic for your tummy just yet." He wiped the tears off her cheek with a napkin.

"I think her meds didn't do well with it either." Erin tied the trash bag and set it out into the hallway to be collected. "I'm so sorry, baby. How do you feel now?"

"Better." Kate sighed. "But sleepy."

"Well let's get those meds in you again, but how about some apple juice instead?" Erin offered, pulling the medication down from the cupboard.

"Sounds good." Kate wrapped her arms around Jay's neck and allowed him to carry her to the counter. She glanced at the medication again. "When am I going to feel better?"

"Hopefully after you take this medicine." Jay told her, pouring apple juice into a plastic cup.

"No, I mean for good." Kate looked up at her parents with tear-filled eyes. "I'm tired of taking all the medicine."

"In a few weeks, hopefully." Jay said honestly while Erin gave her the pills.

"Really?" Kate raised her eyebrows skeptically.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Jay asked. The little girl shrugged her shoulders. "Do you remember when we taught you how to swim? You were really nervous that you were going to drown, but I promised I wouldn't let that happen."

Kate nodded, recalling the fun time that she had with her parents in the pool. "See, you trusted me there with your whole life. And I promise you that I won't let anything bad happen to you, but that means you have to take your medicine. And it's going to take some time, but you will feel better."

"Okay." Kate nodded, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Jay's neck. "I trust you."

* * *

"Is this going to work?" Erin glanced over at Kate, who was sleepily talking to Burgess in the breakroom. The couple had purchased a cloth beach lounge chair for Kate to sit comfortably in while her stomach was healing, so the little girl was reclined and already starting to doze off again. Jay peered through the doorway and back to Erin.

"Well, we took two cars, so if we need to we can bring her home." Jay glanced into the breakroom again. "But honestly babe, I feel best when she's here, where we are. Plus, she can eat and walk so it's not like we need to be home. And she's safe here."

Erin nodded and leaned into her partner's embrace. "Hank. Hey." She greeted, catching sight of her father figure walking through the bullpen, "How was the com-stat meeting?"

"Same old, same old." Hank replied, "How's the kid?"

"Better," Jay said, "I mean, still in a ton of pain, but she's able to be here today so we're hoping the worst is behind us."

"Good." Hank nodded, poking his head into the breakroom. "Hey kiddo."

"Hi Sergeant Voight." Kate waved tiredly, "I'm sore so I'm not going to give you a hug."

Voight smiled sympathetically. "Not a problem. You okay to hang out with me today? Maybe read a few books?"

Kate nodded, "I would like that."

* * *

In a rare stroke of luck, the case Intelligence caught in the morning was straightforward and solved by three in the afternoon. Kate had fallen asleep in Voight's lap as he filed paperwork while the rest of the squad was out in the field. "Has she been asleep this whole time?" Jay asked after knocking on Voight's office door.

"Pretty much since you left." Hank confirmed, leaning back in his chair, the little girl still snuggled into his chest, "I woke her up around noon and managed to get a banana and her meds in her before she fell asleep like this," He gestured to the child, "No tears though."

"Good." Jay smiled, "Erin's bringing her car around now." He gently shifted the little girl out of his sergeant's arms. "Thank you so much for being with her."

"Anytime." Hank waved his hand, "No trouble at all."

"Daddy?" Kate opened her eyes slowly and glanced around, "Where's sergeant Voight?"

"Here, kiddo." Hank said, "You and your folks get to go home a little bit early today since they closed the case."

Kate nodded, letting out a whimper as Jay shifted her again. "Sorry, Squirt," he apologized, "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy." Kate replied, "Thank you Sergeant Voight."

"Bye kiddo." Hank waved as Jay exited his office, sure to pick up the tote bag of books on his way out.

"I hurt, Daddy," Kate whined as he carefully made his way down the steps. Each step he took seemed to jostle the little girl no matter how gentle he was.

"I know, sweetheart." Jay felt incredibly guilty for moving his daughter, but knew she would be far more comfortable at home than at the district. "We're heading home right now and then you can take some more medicine, okay?"

Kate whimpered again as Jay maneuvered her so he could open the door to Erin's car. "Hey baby," Erin greeted, "Did you have fun with Sergeant Voight?"

"I was too sleepy to play." Kate informed her mother, letting out a squeak of pain as Jay set her in the car seat, "I'm hurting."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Erin cooed, "Daddy's going to meet us at home and then we can get you some medicine."

* * *

"We should wake her up. She needs to take her meds in an hour." Erin glanced into the backseat of her car. The little girl had fallen asleep after Erin pulled away from the district, one arm gingerly resting over her aching stomach.

Jay had parked his car behind hers and was leaning against the hood of it. "I know. Poor thing was so upset that I moved her. You can be the bad guy this time."

Erin put her hands on her hips. "Fine." She slowly opened the car door and unbuckled Kate. "Kate. Wake up sweetheart."

The child opened her eyes and winced at the dull ache in her stomach. "Mommy? We're home?"

"We're home early today, baby. Do you want to bake some cookies?" Erin shot a grin at her partner, recognizing that the promise of baking instantly would perk the little girl's interest.

Kate nodded. "Okay." She rubbed her eyes and accepted the boost into Erin's arms. She rested her head on her mother's shoulder, tiredly struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Looks like you're still the bad guy." Erin smirked at her partner, following him into the apartment. "Sometimes you just gotta have something in your back pocket."

"I get it." Jay threw his hands up. "You're good."

"What?" Kate looked up at both her parents curiously.

"Nothing. Just work stuff." Jay smiled at his daughter. "Do you think you can put your apron on? I'll get the ingredients out of the cupboard in a second."

"Two cups of flour." Erin read out from the recipe. Kate filled the mixer with two cups of flour. "And 2 teaspoons baking soda. Awesome job, Kate." She beamed at the little girl, who as tiredly sitting on the countertop. Kate smiled back, appearing to be distracted from the pain in her stomach for at least a little while.

Erin took a pinch of flour and flicked it at Jay, who was busy creaming butter and sugar for the second half of the recipe. "Hey. Mix carefully, Halstead." She giggled as she flicked another pinch of flour, the front of his Henley now speckled with white dust. Kate's smile widened as Jay looked at his partner in shock.

"Well, you started it." Jay grabbed a fistful of flour and blew it in Erin's face.

"Daddy!" Kate shrieked with laughter, the flour now all over her and her mother, "I'm all white!"

"Take cover Squirt!" Jay handed her a baking sheet just as Erin threw an egg at his face. It hit his neck, exploding with yellow gooeyness.

"That's it." Jay began rapid firing chocolate chips at his partner, while Kate ducked behind the baking sheet.

Erin grabbed bowl of dry ingredients and threw a fistful of it toward her boyfriend. "This means…war!" she shouted as creamed butter and sugar mixture made its way onto her face. Jay held up the whisk tauntingly, flicking another dollop toward his girlfriend.

Kate squealed with laughter as Jay began throwing eggs, missing Erin half the time. The floor was covered in a sticky mess of batter, flour and raw egg. "I surrender!" Erin yelped as the egg made contact with her hair.

Jay caught her around the stomach and twirled her around, but they slipped and fell into the disgusting slush on their kitchen floor. "Jay!" Erin half yelled half laughed.

"Sorry." he scooped up some slush and plopped it on her head. "Not sorry about that."

Kate slowly put down her shield and looked at her parents in disbelief. Erin was struggling to escape her partner's sticky grip, but he held her hands. "Kiss me and say you're sorry," he instructed.

She licked his cheek, which was dripping with batter. "I won't kiss you and I'm not sorry." She winked and then quickly escaped, scurrying off to the bedroom.

"Squirt, we're going to…wash up. Sit tight." Jay instructed, quickly moving the little girl from the counter to the couch before dashing off to the bedroom after his girlfriend.

"You look absolutely disgusting right now," Erin teased as she whipped off the sugar-covered t shirt she was wearing, flinging it onto the floor.

"Not as good as you." Jay pulled off his shirt as Erin pinned him against the shower door. "What about Kate?" he breathed as her lips made contact with his neck.

"We'll be quiet." Erin hissed before shutting the bathroom door.

* * *

After practically licking each other clean and then taking a soapy shower, Jay and Erin lay entwined in their towels on their bed. "Wow." Jay grinned, running his hand over her wet hair, "We haven't been able to do that in a few days."

Erin smiled and turned her head. "Does it smell…funny?" she asked, sitting up and wrapping herself in a towel.

Jay did the same. "It smells like…burned cookies." They exchanged glances and jumped up, racing into the kitchen.

The cookies were burned, and Kate was asleep on the couch where Jay had left her. "Oh man." Erin put on her hot hands and grabbed the burned cookies out of the oven.

"They're still…good, I guess." Jay poked one of them with a fork. "This is what happens when Erin Lindsay uses the oven."

"Hey!" Erin squawked indignantly, "The burned cookies are not my fault."

"No? Who was going to take them out of the oven? The four year old?" Jay smiled mischievously.

"She must have fallen asleep." Erin adjusted her towel. "Kate?" she tapped the little girl's shoulder gently, "Sorry about that baby."

Kate opened her eyes and looked up at her towel-clad parents with a concerned expression on her little face. "Mommy? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine sweetheart." Erin glanced at her partner and back to her little girl. "Are you?"

Kate nodded, rubbing her eyes lazily. "Are you guys in a fight?"

Jay shook his head and raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Oh, no, we were just playing," he tried to explain, "Mommy and I were just having some fun."

"Then why was Mommy shouting at you in there?" Kate asked innocently, "Why were you yelling?"

"Oh, I just wanted him to hurry up in the shower. That's all," Erin covered, "I was soaked in raw egg but Daddy was being a shower hog." She paused, Kate seeming to accept her excuse, "Does your tummy hurt?"

"A little." Kate wrinkled her nose at the smell that had circulated around the apartment. "I think the cookies got burned."

"We can make some more." Jay assured her, "After Mommy and I get dressed."

Kate nodded in agreement. "You should probably put some clothes on if we're going to bake again," she told her parents seriously, "That way you don't have to shower, you can just take your dirty clothes off."

"Why are you so smart?" Jay asked before following Erin into the bedroom, "Be right back, okay?"

"Jay." Erin said sternly as she tied her wet hair back in a bun. "That cannot happen again."

"The mess in the kitchen or the sex?" Jay grinned devilishly, pulling on a pair of boxer shorts, discarding his towel.

"Both!" Erin exploded, slipping one of Jay's oversized t shirts over her head, "We _cannot_ have sex while Kate is awake!"

"You started it." Jay defended himself and crossed his arms over his bare chest. "You flicked flour at me and pinned me up against the shower door."

Erin rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I didn't know she could hear us."

"So you admit it was your fault?" Jay taunted, "Your fault, not mine?"

"No, I just said I didn't know she could hear us." Erin's voice raised. "Stop acting like a child!"

"I am not the one being childish in this situation." Jay's voice raised also, the teasing lilt frustrating his partner to no end. He knew that his girl _loved_ to be right, and today he did not want to give her the satisfaction.

"Daddy? Mommy?" a small voice came from the living room.

"And to think, all I wanted was sex." Erin faked a pout. "Are you okay baby?" she asked, doing a quick once over of the little girl to be sure she wasn't in a dire situation.

"Why do you and Daddy keep shouting?" Kate looked scared.

"We're just kidding." Jay said, taking Erin by the waist and giving her a big kiss. "See?"

"We were just being silly." Erin reassured the little girl, giving Jay a poke in the ribs for good measure, "You don't need to worry, okay sweetheart?"

Kate nodded uncertainly and glanced down at the messy floor. "Do you want to start a movie and think about what you want for dinner? Mommy and I have to clean this place up." Jay grimaced at the work they had cut out for them. The little girl nodded again and curled up on the couch. She didn't even turn the TV on before she fell asleep.

* * *

Erin and Jay enjoyed pizza out of the box while Kate stayed asleep. "We really should try to keep her awake," Jay said, his voice muffled by the pizza he was chewing, "According to Will, her body should get used to the medication and it won't make her so tired if we try to keep her awake."

"I don't know, that seems mean," Erin shook her head, "But anyway, it's your turn to be the bad guy." She took a sip of her beer and raised her eyebrows at her partner.

Jay gave her a pointed look. "Hey, you had baking cookies in your back pocket. I got nothing."

Erin smirked and made no moves. Jay sighed and got up from the table. "Squirt, sweetheart, it's time for dinner." he said softly, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Daddy, my tummy hurts again." Kate complained as she opened her eyes.

"That's because you were supposed to take your medicine an hour ago." Jay scooped her up and carried her to the kitchen. He settled down in his chair with her on his lap.

"Still sleepy, huh, babes?" Erin looked at her daughter sympathetically.

"I don't want to take them." Kate said as Jay placed the cocktail of meds in front of her.

"They'll make your tummy hurt less." Jay told her, also putting a cup of apple juice on the table.

"But they make me so sleepy." Kate rested her head against her father's chest. "I don't like being sleepy all the time."

"I know. But in a few weeks time, you'll be as good as new, and you won't have to take the pills anymore." Jay gently stroked her hair.

"The bottle says I have to take them until March. And that's in four months." Kate looked at her mother with big eyes. Jay drew in a breath, forgetting that his brilliant little girl could actually read.

"I'm sorry baby." Erin shook her head. "But you have to take them, otherwise you might have to go back to the hospital again. And you don't want to still be sleepy but be stuck in that uncomfortable bed all day, right?"

Kate understood she wasn't going to make her parents change their mind. "Okay," she said reluctantly, and swallowed each of the pills.

"Can you eat some pizza for us?" Jay lifted a slice up to her mouth. "You haven't eaten since noon and that was just a banana."

"I'm not hungry." Kate murmured and lifelessly pushed Jay's hand away. "The medicine makes my tummy feel funny."

"Oh, baby." Erin's heart broke for her daughter. From examining the multiple bottles, she knew the cocktail of medication contained at least one with nausea as a side effect. However, nausea was better than pain. "I'm sorry, but until your stomach is healed you're going to have to take the medicine."

Kate's lips turned down, defeated. "So if I don't take the medicine, I'll hurt, and if I do, I'll feel sick?"

"That just about sums it up." Jay lifted the slice of pizza again. "If you get sick, no worries. Mommy and I will deal with that. But we can't have you in serious pain without taking you to the hospital."

Kate groaned. She took a bite and rested her head again. "Can you take a few more bites, please?" Erin asked, lifting the slice of pizza toward her daughter.

Kate did as she was told, finishing about half her slice. Her eyes began to close again as Jay and Erin finished their beers. "Let's get you in bed before you fall asleep again, okay?" Jay stood up, carrying Kate to her bedroom.

"She has to brush her teeth!" Erin called as she collected the empty bottles and half eaten pizza.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20! I absolutely _love_ getting reviews, so if you leave a comment it would probably make my day. Enjoy!**

"I don't feel good." Kate complained as Jay poured her a bowl of Cheerios. She looked up at her father with wet eyes. "I feel so bad." Two weeks after surgery and the little girl was still in pain. The medicine she was taking helped slightly, but it also made her nauseous, sleepy and downright miserable. Jay and Erin were at a loss with how to help their daughter, who had been improving so much but now seemed to be stuck in a permanent state of being scared and in pain.

"Oh Squirt." Jay lifted her into his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. "You'll feel better soon enough." He pressed a kiss into her hair.

"I'm so sleepy all the time," she moaned, "And I feel so sick."

"How about some apple juice to settle your tummy?" Jay pulled out a sippy cup full of juice from the fridge. "Your body just needs time to heal, Squirt."

"It's taking too long." Kate grumbled before resting her head on her father's shoulder. "Where's Mommy?"

"Mommy's at work already. She and Hank got breakfast early this morning." Jay sat down at the kitchen table, Kate still in his arms.

"I want her." Kate whimpered, turning her face into Jay's shoulder, "I want mommy."

"Guess what. You can come to work with me to see Voight and then Mommy can take you home so you can nap." Jay forced a smile, "Sergeant Platt has me and Atwater working violence reduction duty tonight, so I'll be back late, but you and Mommy are going to have a nice time together, okay?"

"Mm." Kate replied, shaking her head slightly against his neck, "I'll miss you." Jay felt his shoulder dampen and when he leaned away, he could see that his little girl was crying.

"Squirt," Jay cooed, running a hand over her head, "I'll be okay and then tomorrow maybe we can do some Christmas shopping for Mommy, huh? Maybe pick out a few things she would like?"

Kate nodded and wiped her eyes, pulling away slightly from her hold on her father. "We gonna have Christmas?"

"Yes we are, sweetheart." Jay felt his heart clench and felt like an idiot. _Of course_ Kate had never experienced Christmas before. Men who exploited children weren't the kind of people to buy gifts or put up a tree, "And we have to get a tree for the living room, too."

"A real one?" Kate looked up in surprise, "A real tree goes in the _living room_?"

"Oh yeah. We'll go pick out a nice pine tree and then we get to decorate it with all kinds of lights and ornaments." Jay smiled sadly, realizing that since Kate hadn't been at school, she wasn't with other children who knew about the holiday and all it entailed. He made a quick mental note to pick up some Christmas stories on his way home from work. "Have you ever heard about Santa Claus?"

The little girl narrowed her eyes, thinking intently. "He brings presents, I think. Big Joe talked about him once," Jay felt his stomach drop at the mention of one of Kate's abusers, anticipating the worst, "and he said that if you're good, he brings you presents. But cause I wasn't, that's how come I didn't get any."

Jay almost burst into tears at his little girl's memory. The poor thing had been told that she wasn't good enough to receive any type of present and it shattered his heart. "Oh, no, sweetheart," Jay held the child tighter, "It wasn't because you were bad," he paused, trying to think of a reason that Santa wouldn't visit to a sweet little girl like Kate, "Sometimes Santa doesn't know about certain kids, but this year, I'm positive he's going to pay you a visit."

"Because I didn't have parents?" Kate guessed, "And cause now I do, Santa's gonna come?"

Jay swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, "He's coming here and he's going to fill the stockings and put presents underneath the tree while we're sleeping."

"He's coming in here?" Excitement spread across the little girl's face. "How does he get in?"

"Through the chimney," Jay smiled, gesturing to the fireplace, "He lands on the roof and slides down the chimney with a big sack of toys and games and books."

Kate thought for a moment, fear filling her eyes, "But Daddy, if Santa gets in through the chimney, what about the bad guys?" Her voice quivered, "I don't want them getting in."

"Oh, no, Squirt." Jay quickly refuted, realizing his error, "Only Santa can get though the chimney, because he has Christmas magic. It's what makes the reindeer and the sleigh fly, too."

"Rain-deers?" Kate asked, relaxing at the reassurance that it would only be the jolly old man entering the apartment through the chimney, "Why does he have those?"

"Reindeer are special animals that fly Santa's sleigh around the world, delivering presents to kids," Jay explained, "So on Christmas Eve, we'll leave some cookies out for Santa and some carrots out for the reindeer to help fuel them on their journey."

"Christmas sounds fun," Kate murmured, leaning against her father's chest. Jay kissed her forehead gently, holding her close.

* * *

Erin was sitting on the couch, knees drawn to her chest, with a mug of herbal tea and the TV remote. While Platt had assigned Jay to violence reduction duty, she had gotten off the hook. It was weird for her to be at home while her partner was at work as they spent most of their days together, and Erin found herself feeling somewhat lost. At two in the morning nothing much was on TV. She sighed, and turned it off. After setting her mug in the sink, Erin headed for the bedroom.

The apartment was slightly cold, and she wrapped her arms around her thin body. Jay had told her about his conversation about Santa earlier that morning and Erin had felt absolutely gutted. The worst part about it was that she remembered what it was like to be a little kid and be told that you weren't good enough to receive gifts for the holiday. Bunny barely made it through the holiday season alive and by the time Erin was Kate's age, she had no belief that Santa or anyone would arrive with presents. Jay and Erin decided that this year, they would decorate the apartment from top to bottom and make sure that they partook in every cliché Christmas tradition.

The bed in the master bedroom looked cool and uninviting, so Erin turned and quietly opened Kate's bedroom door. Thankfully, the little girl was sleeping peacefully, her small hands clutching Tiger. As carefully as she could, Erin climbed into the bed and pulled the covers over herself.

"Mommy?" Kate turned her head and opened her eyes, glancing at the woman who was in her bed.

"Shh, baby, go back to sleep." Erin said gently, stroking her child's cheek.

"Why are you awake?" Kate whispered, closing her eyes. She snuggled closer to her mother and shivered slightly.

"I was just missing Daddy, that's all," Erin kissed the top of Kate's head, "Go back to sleep baby."

"Where's Daddy?" Kate mumbled, her voice fading as sleep overcame her.

"He's not coming home tonight." Erin breathed, closing her eyes as she relaxed in the comfort of her little girl's presence.

"Why?" Kate's voice grew panicked and her eyes shot open. "Why isn't he coming home?"

"He has to work." Erin replied sleepily. "We'll go see him in the morning," She carefully threaded her fingers through Kate's hair, trying to coax her back to sleep. "We can bring him a change of clothes and breakfast too, hm?"

"But he has to come home." Kate croaked, her voice desperate. "He has to."

"Not tonight baby." The young detective closed her eyes again. "We'll see him tomorrow, bright and early."

"No!" Kate shouted, suddenly jerking upright. "He needs to come home."

"Sweetheart, it's okay." Erin reached for her hand, but the little girl scrambled off the bed. "You'll hurt yourself."

"Mommy, he has to come home." Kate let the tears stream down her cheeks. "He just has to."

Erin climbed off the mattress, dread filling her stomach as she heard Kate's harsh pants punctuate the still apartment. "What's going on? Daddy works late all the time, just like me."

"No!" Kate cried, "He needs to come home, he needs to!"

"What's going on baby?" Erin repeated, looked quizzically at her daughter. "Daddy's just working. No different than any other night. He's going to be home before you know it, I promise."

"Mama, please, Daddy has to come home." Kate said frantically. "Please."

"He's going to be home a little later. He's working." Erin took a step closer to her daughter, but the little girl shook her head and stepped back, pressing her body against the bedroom wall. "It's okay, Kate."

"No, no, no!" Kate shrieked. "They'll come and get me if Daddy's not here!"

"Nobody's coming to get you." Erin assured the little girl. "You're safe here, with me."

"No!" Kate wailed again. "They'll hurt you." Kate sank to the ground, pulling her knees closer to her quivering body. "Please Mommy."

"I'm here, baby. Nobody's coming to get you. They'll have to go through me first." Erin stepped closer to her daughter and knelt down in front of her, reaching a hand out.

"No, no, no! They'll hurt you too! Please Mommy, they'll hurt you and then I'll have no mommy!" Kate burst into tears, tiny shoulders quaking as sobs wracked her body.

Erin suddenly understood what her daughter was afraid of. The nightmares, the abuse, the fear all fell into place. She scooted closer to her little girl and touched her cheek. "Kate, baby, listen to me. Nobody is going to hurt you or me. I'll right here all night to make sure of that."

"But Daddy…" Kate trailed off, her words dissolving into sobs.

"Daddy wouldn't let us stay alone if he thought everything wasn't going to be okay." Erin reached out and helped her daughter into her lap, the child folding against her in exhaustion.

"I'm so scared." Kate whimpered, nestling against her mother. "Don't go Mommy, please."

"I'm not going anywhere." Erin carefully lifted Kate and settled into her bed. She pulled the covers over both of them, bringing Kate in close. "I love you."

"I love you too Mommy." Kate closed her eyes, and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Erin was awoken by a warm little hand on her shoulder. "Mommy?" Kate's voice was soft but urgent. "Mommy, I need you."

"What's going on baby?" Erin opened her eyes, realizing that she was in her daughter's bedroom. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed that it was barely five in the morning.

The little girl pulled up her pajama top. "My tummy's bleeding." Kate's voice became more panicked. "It really hurts."

Erin quickly flicked on the lights. She could see clearly that Kate's incision had torn, and she was bleeding quite freely. The little girl was pale and wore a terrified expression, face contorted in pain.

"You're on blood thinners." Erin realized as she touched Kate's swollen and bloody stomach. She threw the covers off and sprinted for her bedroom. She pulled the emergency kit from under the bed and carefully placed gauze on her daughter's wounds.

"Ow." Kate winced, then folded over, clutching her stomach.

"I think your stomach stitches are beginning to tear." Erin dropped the box and led Kate out into the hallway. She placed an old coat of Jay's around her little girl's shaking body before grabbing the keys, her coat and shoes. "We need to go to the hospital."

Tears began streaming down Kate's cheeks and she grimaced again, unable to speak. Erin scooped her up and carried her to the car, lying her down on the backseat. "Hold on." she said, loosely buckling her up. "We'll be there shortly."

* * *

Erin sped to Chicago Med, right into the Emergency Department entrance. She quickly unloaded her daughter and brought her into the ED. "Ripped stitches." she explained to the night time shifters. Michelle, who ran the ED at night, directed them to a bed, where Kate's stitches were examined and redone. "Jay?" Erin dialed her boyfriend and breathed a sigh of relief when he answered his phone.

"It's early Er. What are you doing up?"

"Kate's stitches ripped. We're at Med right now." Erin choked out, glancing at her little girl who was lying in a hospital bed for the third time in two weeks.

"I'll be right there. I'll call Will on my way."

"Daddy's coming babes. He'll be here soon." Erin squeezed her daughter's hand, willing the tears that formed in her eyes to abate. Kate nodded blearily, just as the other Halstead pulled back the curtain.

"What's going on Miss Halstead?" Will asked, placing a comforting hand on Erin's shoulder. "Michelle said that you came to see me."

"I ripped my stitches." Kate replied groggily. "Sorry Mommy."

"No need to be sorry sweetheart." Erin gave her hand another squeeze and swallowed thickly. "Uncle Will is going to help you feel better."

"That's right." Will sat down in the swivel chair and scooted over to the bed. "How did you rip your stitches?" Will asked the little girl, re-buttoning the bloody pajama top that Kate had worn to bed.

Kate shrugged. "I just woke up because I was hurting and I saw I was bleeding."

"We need the ultrasound for her stomach, to see if anything else is going on in there." Will told Michelle, who nodded and sent for the machine.

"Erin." Jay's voice came from across the ED. "Kate." He rushed over to where his girls were, Erin's rigid posture radiating anxiety.

She hugged her partner tightly, melting into his embrace. "What happened Squirt?" Jay asked, gently rubbing Erin's shoulder. He could feel how tense she was.

"My tummy was leaking blood." Kate explained weakly. "I think I ripped my stitches by accident."

Will was ultrasounding Kate's stomach. "Erin, could I speak with you for a moment? Jay?"

Both nodded. "We'll be right back Kate." Erin reassured her, stroking her little hand. Kate nodded drowsily, barely aware of what was going on.

"What was Kate doing before she tore her incision?" Will asked, peeling off his latex gloves and disposing of them.

"She had a panic attack because Jay wasn't home." Erin was still pressed against her partner. She glanced nervously over to her little girl, who was dozing lightly in the hospital bed. "I thought it was a nightmare at first, but she was awake and absolutely freaking out."

Will nodded slowly. "From what I can tell, it looks like the stress caused her stomach to tear slightly. Luckily, it wasn't new, and should heal fine with the medication."

"Oh God." Erin put her hand over her face. "Her stomach always hurts when she gets worried."

Will grimaced, "That makes sense. I've prescribed some stronger meds in addition to what she's already taking."

"Is drowsiness a side effect?" Jay asked dryly, glancing at his baby who was still dozing. She looked pale and fragile, dwarfed by the size of the large hospital bed.

"Fatigue." His brother informed him, "All of these meds are going to do that to her, unfortunately. It's either drowsiness or pain, I'm afraid."

"She practically sleeps all day." Erin glanced over at her little girl again.

"Until she doesn't have to take her medicine, she will." Will shrugged, "But then she'll be better."

Jay sighed and ran a hand over his face, accepting that there wasn't anything else he could do. "Is she good to go?"

Dr. Halstead handed his brother discharge papers. "Sign here."

* * *

Jay climbed into the driver's seat after carrying Kate to the car. "Tired huh?" he smiled knowingly at his partner who had pressed the keys into his palm before exiting the hospital.

Erin nodded unenthusiastically. "I couldn't sleep without you."

He ignited the car. "I had a feeling."

"I'm sorry my stitches ripped," Kate mumbled from the backseat. Her eyelids were drooping and her little head was resting against the cold window. "I didn't mean to and I didn't want to wake you up but you said-"

"It's alright sweetheart," Erin turned around to look at her daughter. "It wasn't your fault at all, okay? And you can always wake Daddy or me up if you're not feeling good or if you're scared or you think something is wrong." Kate nodded tiredly, understanding what her mother was saying, "And we're just going to be extra careful for the next few months, okay?"

"Okay." Kate nodded again, closing her eyes. Jay pulled the Sierra onto the street and drove along in silence, thinking about all his poor little girl had been through in the past few months.

After a minute, Jay glanced the rearview mirror and saw that Kate was asleep. He glanced over at Erin, who appeared just as haggard as the child, "What happened? You said she was having a panic attack since I wasn't home?"

Erin nodded grimly. "She's convinced that if you don't come home at night, the bad guys are going to get her and take her away."

Jay tightened his grip on the steering wheel in anger. "Shit," he breathed, "I didn't realize she was going to react like that."

She grimaced and rubbed her eyes. "I think her nightmares are mainly about people trying to get her and take her away. She's got it in her head that if you're not there to fend off the bad guys, they'll hurt me too."

"Poor thing." Jay sighed. "Tomorrow I'll have Atwater install a security system to put her mind at ease."

"You're such a good Daddy." Erin smiled wearily at him as the car turned onto their street.

* * *

"Do you see a tree you like, Squirt?" Jay asked as they milled around the outdoor Christmas tree shop. Somehow, Erin had convinced Will to join their family on this outing so that he could help Jay carry the tree. Once he realized why he had been invited, the redheaded doctor had been pouting like a child in the corner.

"I don't know." Kate replied tiredly, one arm wrapped around Jay's neck as he carried her around the rows of trees, "Why is Uncle Will being silly?"

Erin chuckled, "He's just a little grumpy because I didn't tell him that he was going to have to help carry the tree to the car."

"I have very valuable hands!" Will called indignantly, "They save lives!"

Jay rolled his eyes and turned back to the plethora of trees, "How about a Douglas Fir?" He leaned down to sniff it, "Smells nice."

"What do you think, baby?" Erin asked, gently rubbing a gloved hand over her daughter's back, "Do you think this one would look nice in the apartment?"

Kate nodded and glanced over Jay's shoulder at her uncle. "Uncle Will, you are being a grumpy goose!" She offered a silly face and Jay and Erin burst out laughing at their little girl's reference to Will's nickname for her.

"Yeah, c'mon Will." Erin teased, "Help us with the tree and beer and dinner's on us."

"Ugh. Fine." Dr. Halstead rose from the plastic chair he was pouting in and examined the tree. Jay passed Kate to Erin so the brothers could carry it to the Sierra. "I have sap _all over_ my hands," Will complained, sliding into the backseat next to his niece.

"What's wrong, Uncle Will?" Kate whispered, out of earshot of her parents who were sitting in the front, talking quietly.

"Nothing, Goosey." Will sighed, glancing out the window, "Why do you ask?"

"Because you're grumpy. And you're never grumpy." Kate explained, looking at him like it was obvious, " _I_ can tell."

Will chuckled, "I guess I just had a bad day."

"You know what might make you feel better?" Kate asked, offering a kind smile. Will raised his eyebrows in anticipation, "If you go say hi to Dr. Manning. 'Cause when you see her you _always_ smile."

"Do I now?" Will rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Well, she's a little bit cross with me, so I don't think going to see her would be such a good idea."

"So _that's_ why you had a bad day." Kate quickly put together what was causing her uncle to be so grumpy, "You should 'pologize. That's what Miss Carlson said to do when you do something wrong."

"What makes you think I did something wrong?" Will asked jokingly. He received a 'duh' look from the little girl, causing him to laugh, "Okay, you're right. I should apologize."

"Apologize to who?" Erin asked, turning around in the passenger seat.

"Whom," Jay corrected, not taking his eyes off the road. Erin glared at him. "Sorry."

"Nothing. Just a secret." Will replied, his refute drowned out by Kate's little voice.

"Uncle Will made Dr. Manning mad!" Kate informed her parents, causing Jay to glance knowingly at his brother in the rearview and Erin roll her eyes and turn back around.

"I said it was a secret, Goosey," Will gently scolded the little girl, crimson rising in his cheeks, "That means you don't tell anyone."

"I know what a secret is. But I don't keep secrets from Mommy and Daddy," Kate smiled sweetly, "Right?"

"That's right, kiddo," Jay grinned, "So man, what did you do?"

"Ugh." Will leaned back against his seat, "I don't even know."

"I told Uncle Will that he should 'pologize," Kate said, "Because sometimes 'pologizies don't fix the problem but they make it better."

"How did you get so smart?" Erin smiled at her brilliant little girl, "Maybe you should be a doctor since you're definitely more clued in than your uncle Will."

"Humpf." Will replied, staring out the window dejectedly, "You're right."

* * *

"Wow!" Kate exclaimed, in awe of the Christmas tree that Will and Jay had struggled to set up in their living room. Erin had the Halstead brothers decorate the tree with white twinkly lights and place a few of the ornaments she had on the tree. Will had brought over a box of their mother's old ornaments as well and Kate had been highly amused by the pictures of baby Jay and baby Will. "Uncle Will, you were so cute!"

Jay chuckled, "It was all downhill from there, wasn't it?" He hung the ornament that he had made as a child on the tree. Kate nodded in agreement, unsure of what she was actually affirming. Erin laughed, giving Will a slight nudge.

"Come on, Dr. Halstead. Help us decorate the tree. You're coming over for Christmas, right?" Her eyes twinkled at him, "Maybe Santa will bring something for you, too."

"I can probably stop by in the evening," Will said, "But unfortunately there are a lot of accidents on Christmas Eve, so I'll be needed in the ED."

"You can't come for Santa?" Kate looked crestfallen that her uncle wouldn't be there for Christmas. Will smiled and lifted the little girl into his arms.

"I wish I could, Goosey, but there are going to be a lot of people who need me. But I'll come over later, and we can read some Christmas stories and eat leftover Christmas cookies." He tapped her nose and she giggled.

"Okay." She nodded and wrapped her arms around her uncle.

 **A tiny note: the stomach ulcer was something I went through when I was like 7 or 8 and it was easy to write about hence the many chapters surrounding it. Not to worry, the family will finally catch a break in the next few chapters!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi! First, thank you so so much for all the nice reviews-it literally made my day to read them! So I already have most of this story written but would people be interested in/want to read individual stories surrounding Linstead/Kate after this is done? There are about 10 or so chapters left (there may be more I'm not 100% sure yet) so never fear but I thought I'd float the idea early to gauge interest. Let me know if that's something you'd be down for!  
**

* * *

One of Hank's age-old mantras, 'Criminals never take a day off' rang true Christmas Eve. On the 23rd, Intelligence caught a major case from a string of recent robbery homicides that the appropriate department had yet to foil. As always, the Ivory Tower delegated the task to their best and also least favorite unit, adding insult to injury by requiring them to work through the holiday until the job was finished.

After an all-nighter from 'Christmas Adam' as Ruzek referred to it, into Christmas Eve, the unit was spent. They were closing in on the offenders but could not seem to pinpoint their exact location. Jay had fallen asleep at his desk and Atwater in the breakroom, using Mr. Shark as a pillow. Hank, as the boss, excused himself and Kate at two in the morning to retreat to his house for a bed. While Erin and Jay had been extremely skeptical, the little girl made it through the short night in Erin's old bedroom without a single nightmare, surprising all three adults.

Kate spent Christmas Eve with Sergeant Platt, doing last minute shopping for Mouch and making sure the district was in working order before many of the officers would be on furlough. The holidays tended to bring in a whole bunch of crazy, so Platt commandeered Ruzek to watch the little girl while she manned the front desk for a while. After finally warming up to Adam over the summer, Kate found the young officer incredibly hilarious and loved getting him to read stories in funny voices. She liked to remind him on a regular basis that 'Off-cer Kim' was way too nice to be with someone like him, constantly earning snickers from Atwater, Olinksy and Burgess.

The unit was short-staffed, as Burgess had taken the week to visit her sister and Atwater was taking care of his family, so Erin and Jay were barely able to sit down. The case was finally reassigned to Robbery-Homicide at 11PM Christmas Eve, Intelligence having done all the legwork and apprehended six of the key players. After passing off their files, Hank finally dismissed the team for the next two days.

"What are you still doing awake?" Jay asked, poking his head into the breakroom to find his little girl wide awake, reading a book that appeared to be about how things worked.

"Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, jumping up from her seat at the table and springing into his tired arms, "You done?"

"We're done." Jay sighed, burying his face in her hair and inhaling deeply, "And tomorrow is Christmas so we can spend all day together, how does that sound?"

"Good." Kate nodded, resting her head on his shoulder, "I'm a little sleepy. But guess what. My tummy doesn't hurt that bad!"

"That's great news, kiddo. But I bet you're tired because it's really late." Jay carefully placed the books she was reading into a bag and hoisted it onto his opposite shoulder, "What were you reading about?"

Kate smiled, "I'm reading a book about _science_ ," she informed him, "Cause science is very important and is everywhere."

"You are so smart." Jay grinned, heading into the bullpen. "Ready, Er?"

"Mommy!" Kate grinned at her mother, who was switching off her computer, still clad in her vest from a raid earlier, "We going home?"

"Yes we are, baby." Erin smiled tiredly at her little girl, running a hand over her tiny facial features, "We're going to bed soon, too."

"Tired?" Jay asked Kate, waving to Olinsky on his way out. She nodded, placing her head back on her father's shoulder.

Lindsay yawned. "I'm exhausted," she mumbled as they headed for the locker room. Jay carefully set Kate on the bench and shed his vest, helping his tired girlfriend take hers off too.

"Ready for bed?" He asked knowingly, undoing the Velcro straps on her vest after he had already changed.

"Uh huh," she nodded and yawned again, "Let's just go home."

Halstead rolled his eyes. He knew she was so tired she could barely function, but sometimes it was just too funny. "You're not driving," he informed her, taking her car keys out of her hands.

"Jay, we took two cars today." Lindsay made a grab for the keys but missed.

"It'll still be here when we get back," he reassured her. "Come on, you're in no condition to drive."

"I hate it that you're right," she muttered, scooping up Kate and trailing after her partner to the car.

"I can carry her."

"No, it's fine." Lindsay buried her nose in her daughter's soft hair and inhaled deeply. After placing Kate into her car seat, she ungracefully slid into the backseat of her partner's car.

He turned around in the drivers seat. "You're not coming up?"

She shook her head, holding Kate's hand, who had fallen asleep the minute she was placed into her car seat. "I need to lay down," she told him, stretching out on the backseat.

"Aren't you glad you're not driving?" he smirked, and started the car. "But are you alright?"

"Yeah, just exhausted." she repeated, closing her eyes and listening to the hum of the vehicle.

"It's Christmas." Jay glanced at the clock on the dashboard that displayed 1:04AM in offensive white lights, "We worked straight through Christmas Eve."

"Santa didn't put presents out." Lindsay's eyes snapped open. "Shit Jay."

"It's fine." Halstead said calmly, pulling onto the street. "She's passed out. I'll do it when we get home."

Lindsay recoiled. "That's fine." she breathed, closing her eyes again. "Thanks."

Within minutes, she was asleep, still holding Kate's tiny hand in her own. Jay glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled.

"Babe." A soft voice floated around Erin's head as a cool hand rested on her cheek. "Wake up."

Slowly, her eyes fluttered open. She was still in the car, but Kate was no longer in her arms. "What time is it?" she mumbled.

"Just after two in the morning." Jay looked slightly concerned. "I couldn't carry you both to bed without hitting your head on the car. Are you okay?"

"'m okay," she yawned, stumbling out of the car and into the cold and dark night, shivering as the wind whipped against her cheeks.

Jay pulled her close to him as they made their way up the steps to the apartment, Kate in his arms. "Merry Christmas, babe." He kissed her forehead.

"I love you." Erin murmured, melting in his embrace. "Can you eat a cookie?"

"And I'll put the presents out." Jay smiled. "Come on, you need to go to bed."

* * *

Erin rolled over, resting her head on her partner's chest. She didn't wake up, but he did. Jay slowly opened his eyes, glancing down at his girl, her mess of brown locks splayed across his upper body. He craned his neck to catch a glimpse of the clock and nearly did a double take. It was almost eleven and the family had slept in five hours more than normal. Jay settled back against his pillow, lazily running his fingers through Erin's hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

A soft sunlight peeked through the shades, casting a strip of light onto the hardwood floor. After a few more precious minutes lying in bed, Erin shifted and opened her eyes. "Merry Christmas, babe." Jay smiled. "Feeling better after a good night's sleep?"

She nodded, stretching her arms out and wrapping them tighter around his torso. "Merry Christmas," Erin mumbled, snuggling in closer to Jay's shoulder.

He kissed the top of her head. "It's eleven."

"Eleven?" Erin looked up at him with wide eyes. "Hank's coming over in an hour! Kate hasn't even been in to wake us up?"

"Why would she do that?" Jay looked quizzically at his partner who appeared to be getting more worked up every second.

"That's what kids are supposed to do on Christmas." Erin shed the covers and poked Jay in the ribs. "Come on."

"Er, she was up until one last night." Jay pointed out, lazily getting out of his comfortable bed. "She's also on medication that makes her exhausted."

"Which she was supposed to take at eight." Erin tied her hair up and headed out of their bedroom, snatching one of Jay's hoodies off his dresser to guard against the morning chill.

"I'll text Voight and make the coffee," Jay called after her, heading for the kitchen.

She turned around and eyed at him with a surprised look. "Aren't you coming? It's _Christmas_ , Jay."

He sighed and followed her out of the bedroom and into Kate's, forgoing the coffee for the time being. "Hey Squirt." Jay called softly, pushing open her bedroom door.

The little girl was lying in bed, still asleep. She had her arm wrapped around her stomach, still in her shirt from the night before. Jay had attempted to change her into the pajamas, but only managed the bottoms before the little girl stirred.

"Her stomach was bothering her." Erin told him, heading for the kitchen to get Kate's medicine.

"How could you possibly know that?" Jay watched as his girl returned with a glass of water and Kate's meds in record time, "She's _asleep._ "

"She's got her arm around her stomach," Erin whispered as she followed her partner into her bedroom, "Which means she probably woke up because her stomach was hurting but she fell back asleep."

Jay raised his eyebrows, impressed with how in tune his partner was with their little girl. "Good morning Kate." Jay sat down on her bed and ran his fingers over her cheek.

Slowly, Kate's eyes fluttered open, hazel orbs locking on her father's baby blues, "Is it Christmas?" she asked, yawning slightly.

Erin nodded and grinned, "Merry Christmas baby."

Kate started to sit up, and winced in pain. "Does your stomach hurt?" Jay asked and Kate nodded timidly. "Lie back down, kiddo. Mommy's got some medicine for you."

Kate did as she was told and Jay propped her up with a few pillows so that she could swallow the pills, "It's eleven, so we're a little behind on you taking your meds which is probably why you're hurting," Erin explained, handing her little girl the medications. "We slept in a bit."

Kate took each of her pills. "Are we going to Sergeant Voight's house?"

"He's coming here," Jay told her as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, "We're going to have Christmas lunch with him and then later Uncle Will is going to come over for some dessert."

"Is Danny coming?" Kate asked excitedly, pushing herself up. Erin sat down on the bed, and the little girl climbed into her lap. "I haven't seen him in so long!"

"I don't think so baby. He and Olive might be with her sister, I forgot to ask Hank," Erin murmured, running her fingers through Kate's soft hair. "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded, "I didn't have a nightmare," Kate smiled brightly, realizing that she had actually made it through the night, "In two nights!"

"You're right. You slept right through Santa's visit, too." Jay's eyes twinkled as his little girl's lit up. She had forgotten that Santa was supposed to come.

"Santa came?" Kate looked up at her father incredulously, "Really?"

"Of course he did," Erin told her, giving her shoulder a tickle, "Do you want to see what presents he brought?" Kate nodded eagerly. Erin took her little girl's hand and led her to the living room, pointing out the various presents that Jay had displayed the night before. He had even remembered to take a few bites out of the carrots that Kate set out for the reindeer. Hank had thought to bring her by the apartment to set out the milk and cookies, knowing that she would probably be asleep when the family returned home. While Erin and Jay had been disappointed to miss it, Kate's excitement made them grateful that Hank had thought ahead.

"Santa must have been up late last night." Kate looked eagerly at all the presents, in awe of everything around her, "Even later than us."

"I bet he had a lot of coffee last night." Jay started the coffee maker and leaned against the counter, watching his little girl experience her first real Christmas.

"Do you want to open your presents, baby?" Erin asked, beaming as she watched her daughter look curiously at the various wrapped gifts, "I know there are a bunch with your name on them."

Kate nodded slowly, holding Erin's hand and Tiger with the other. She took a step closer to the tree, astounded by the boxes and bags, all wrapped in festive holiday paper with bows and ribbons. The little girl could not believe how lucky she was. "How about this one?" Erin bent down and picked up a box that was wrapped in green paper with bells on it. Kate regarded it intently before bursting into tears, dropping Tiger and Erin's hand to cover her face. "Oh, baby, what's wrong?" Erin asked, crouching down in front of her daughter, "What is it?"

"Does your tummy hurt?" Jay asked, squatting beside his partner, placing a hand on his girl's back. Kate shook her head and sniffed, hands still over her eyes. "What's going on, Squirt?" He reached out his other hand and tucked her hair behind her ears, "Talk to us, kiddo."

"Is…this real?" Kate choked out, removing one hand, eying her parents with watery eyes, "I don't gotta leave?"

Erin and Jay felt their hearts shatter simultaneously as they realized what their little girl was afraid of. She was so overwhelmed with the amount of love that she received and was terrified of losing it. "Never," Jay replied vehemently, tears threatening to spill over, "You're going to be with Erin and me forever. I promise."

"I know it's a lot to take in, baby, but it's real," Erin promised, "You're ours and we're not letting you go." She wiped her eyes and then her daughters, "I know how you're feeling but trust me, we love you."

At that, the little girl wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and held tightly, tiny body molding to her side. Jay enveloped his girls in a hug, in awe of how the three of them fit together so perfectly. While he loved how he and Erin were like two pieces of a puzzle, the addition of his baby girl was the piece he never knew was missing.

* * *

A knock at the door drew the little family back to the present and Jay quickly rose to answer the door while Erin scooped Kate up in her arms. "You might need a shirt, Halstead," Hank said gruffly after Jay pulled open the door, shirtless. He luckily had the foresight to put on some sweatpants before waking up Kate, but his face turned beet red nonetheless.

"Merry Christmas," Jay choked out, opening the door wider so Hank could come into the apartment. He carried a big shopping bag and a cooler and was dressed in a classic holiday sweater.

"Merry Christmas, kiddo." Hank smiled at Erin, pulling her into a hug after setting the cooler on the counter and the bag on a chair, "And to you as well, little miss."

"Sergeant Voight!" Kate exclaimed, leaning away from Erin to wrap her tiny arms around the older man's neck. "You came for Christmas."

"Wouldn't dream of missing it." Hank accepted the little girl from his almost daughter, balancing her on his hip, "What did Santa bring for you?"

"I didn't check yet," Kate informed him, "We slept in."

He chuckled, "Well, it has been a busy few days." Hank turned to Jay, who had quickly donned a t shirt, "The steaks are marinating in the cooler."

"Awesome." Jay placed the food Hank had brought into the fridge and poured his boss a cup of coffee.

"Do you want to open presents, baby?" Erin asked, her eyes twinkling as the little girl nodded excitedly. "Okay, go ahead."

Hank set her down but Kate instantly grabbed his large hand, "Come on, Sergeant Voight!" She led him over to the Christmas tree, "Look, these are the ornaments that I made, and these were the ones that Daddy made when he was little."

"Wow." Hank mused, examining the carefully made popsicle frame that made a wreath, "You know what?" He held up a hand and headed for the large shopping bag he brought. Hank reached in and produced a shoe box, handing it to Kate.

"What's in here?" Kate asked, carefully removing the lid of the box, "More ornaments!"

"Mm-hm." Hank lifted out one of the ornaments, "And do you know who made them?" Kate shook her head, looking up at Hank curiously. "Your mom."

"What?" Erin looked up from setting the dinner table. "I did what?"

"You made ornaments, Mommy." Kate held out one of the carefully made clay angels, "Look."

Erin glanced into the box in surprise and looked at her father figure in awe. "Justin and I made these. Before I came to live with you." She held it up incredulously, "You saved them?"

"Camille did. I just found them in the attic." Hank told her, smiling softly, "I thought you might like to have them, now that you have a tree of your own."

"Hank," Erin swallowed thickly, at a loss for words, "Thank you."

"Merry Christmas, kiddo." He kissed the side of her head, "Now, I think Kate has been patient enough. Do you want to open some presents?"

"Yes please." Kate grinned and picked up the box that Erin had suggested earlier. "This one?"

"Go ahead, baby." Erin cleared her throat, placing the ornament back into the shoe box.

* * *

To Jay and Erin's surprise, Sergeant Platt had helped Kate make Christmas gifts for her parents, having brought the little girl to a paint-your-own pottery studio. Kate decorated mugs for Erin, Jay and Hank, without any of them knowing. Jay and Erin decided that Kate would like a Lego set, and she was absolutely ecstatic with the prospect of getting to build things. Along the same lines, Hank bought the little girl a kit to build a miniature ecosystem, since she had been extremely interested how the weather works. He also gifted a stuffed lion as a friend for Tiger, Mr. Shark and Giraffe, who had not been put down all day.

Following Christmas dinner, Kate settled in Hank's lap, listening to him read a variety of Christmas books that he discovered in the attic. Danny and Olive spent the holiday with Olive's sister which was a great disappointment to the little girl but the joy of the holiday overshadowed her missing her friend. "I remember this one," Erin murmured, leaning against Jay on the couch, "This used to be my favorite."

"The Mitten?" Jay asked, glancing at the Jan Brett book, "It was my favorite too."

"We should read it," Kate determined, passing the book to Hank, "Sergeant Voight, can you read it?"

"Alrighty." Hank accepted the book and cleared his throat in preparation.

"Wait!" Kate exclaimed urgently, abruptly looking at her parents, "I just 'membered something!"

"What is it, Squirt?" Jay asked, his arm gently around his girlfriend's shoulder as she cuddled against him.

"Yesterday, Sergeant Platt made Woo-zek read me stories," Kate said seriously, "And we read 'Over the River and Through the Wood'." The little girl looked expectantly up at Hank, "It's actually 'bout thanksgivin' and grandparents. And he said that 'cause Erin is my mommy, that makes _you_ ," she reached up at tapped Hank's chin, "my grandpa."

Hank widened his eyes and glanced at the couple seated on his sofa. Erin smiled widely and Jay nodded, a huge grin breaking out across his face, "You know what, I think Ruzek is right."

"Even though Uncle Al says he's not right 'bout much," Kate nodded and looked up at Hank, "Can I call you Grandpa Hank?"

"I would love that," Hank beamed and kissed the top of his granddaughter's head.

 **Eeeeep couldn't resist throwing the "Grandpa" in there as a little Christmas present for Hank :) Also t** ** **he phrase Christmas Adam to describe the 23** **rd** **of December is probably my favorite holiday pun. Apologies to all but I simply could not help myself from including it.****


	22. Chapter 22

**Linstead gets a break from drama, what a nice Christmas present! Enjoy! (shoutout to those who predicted this trip would happen lol)  
**

Hank's gift to Erin and Jay had been a whole week off, so Jay decided it was time to take his girls up to his grandfather's cabin in Wisconsin for some time away from the city. "I'm so excited that you're going to see the cabin." Jay grinned at Kate, who was deciding which pairs of socks were going to make the journey to Wisconsin with them. "Better choose the thicker socks, Wisconsin is brutally cold in the winter."

"Even colder than here?" Kate asked, placing her thick socks in the suitcase Erin had laid out for her.

"Even colder," Erin nodded and put Kate's warmest pajamas into the suitcase.

"Is there gonna be snow?" Kate asked. She sat cross legged on her bed and looked unexpectedly at Erin.

"You bet. And we're going to see people ice fishing and all kinds of wild animals," Jay informed her, "And there's snowmobiling and sledding and a hot tub." He winked at Erin, who rolled her eyes in response, tossing Jay one of Kate's sweaters to put into the suitcase.

"We can build a snowman?" The little girl looked up at Jay excitedly,

"That's right!" Jay scooped up his daughter and put her on his back. "What do you say Er, a Christmas movie and then bedtime? We gotta be up early tomorrow."

Erin smiled and closed the top of Kate's suitcase. "Jay, remember your thick socks this time. I don't want to hear you complaining about frostbite when we get back."

* * *

"Ready, Kate?" Jay had loaded the suitcases into the back of his car, and headed back into the apartment to fetch his daughter and girlfriend.

She nodded, clutching the new stuffed lion that Voight had gotten her for Christmas closely against her winter coat. At six in the morning the little girl was barely able to keep her eyes open. "I'm tired Daddy," she mumbled as he carried her out to the car.

"I know Squirt." Jay carefully set her in her car seat and buckled her up. "You can sleep in the car, okay?"

Erin finally came out of the apartment, looking frantic. "Okay, we have Kate's medicine, clothes, toothbrushes—Did you remember to pack the thick socks like I told you?"

"Erin. Breathe," Jay said calmly, "We've got everything. Come on, we don't want to hit traffic."

She settled into the passenger seat and Jay ignited the car. "Oh my God, has Kate even driven this far before? What if she freaks out? What if she gets motion sick? If we accidentally go to Canada she won't even have a passport, oh God Jay, we didn't even think about-"

"Erin!" Jay exclaimed as they pulled onto the highway. "Babe. Breathe. We've got everything, Kate's going to be fine. She'll probably sleep the whole drive anyway, and the weather is clear so we're not going to accidentally wind up in Canada. Relax."

Erin took a deep breath and settled against the car seat. "I can't believe you talked me into letting you drive."

* * *

After finally driving three hours and passing Madison, Jay pulled off at a rest area to get gas. "She's so out." Erin commented as Jay unlocked the car.

"She's been out since we left the apartment," Jay told her, pulling on his coat to brave the Wisconsin winter.

"We left at six. It's past nine and she didn't even wake up when you almost hit that Prius," Erin raised her eyebrows, "Are you sure you don't want me to drive?"

"Hey! I did not almost hit the Prius!" Jay offered a goofy smile. "And she's on heavy-duty meds. It's normal for her to sleep."

"I know…" Erin trailed off. "She needs to take her 8am dose otherwise she'll be in pain by the time we reach your cabin."

"You can wake her up. I'll pump the gas," Jay said quickly, sliding out of the driver's seat.

Erin sighed and turned around in the passenger seat. "Kate, baby," she gently roused her daughter, "Wake up sweetheart, we're in Wisconsin."

Tiredly, Kate opened her eyes. "We're there already?" she mumbled, "How'd we get there so fast?"

"We've been driving for a few hours, but you slept the whole way." Erin stroked her daughter's cheek. "We're not at Daddy's cabin yet though. A few more hours."

"Only four more to go." Jay settled back in his seat and shivered. "It's freezing out there. How are you feeling Squirt?"

Kate looked at her mother and father with half-closed eyes. "If I tell you I hurt really bad are you going to freak out?"

Jay snickered from the driver's seat, amused at how his little girl had picked up some of Erin's lingo. Erin shot him a look. "How bad?"

"So bad that I feel like I'm going to throw up," Kate rested her head back against the car seat, "I don't feel good."

"That might be the traveling," Jay mentioned, poking at the GPS. "Give her the meds, she should be fine by the time we reach the cabin."

"Okay, well here's a plastic bag in case you need to throw up." Erin placed the bag in her lap. "Tell Daddy if you don't feel good, we can pull over, okay?" Kate nodded. "Can you take your medicine now?" Erin asked.

Kate accepted the water bottle and cocktail of pills. "When will we be there?" she asked, still obviously groggy.

"Three hours and twenty three minutes." Jay declared as the GPS's annoying voice echoed throughout the Sierra with a "Hello."

"It's cold." Kate slurred, resting her head on her stuffed lion. "I'm going to take a nap now."

Erin stayed facing toward her daughter as she slowly fell asleep. She shot a concerned look at her partner. "She's fine." Jay reassured her. "Just let her sleep."

* * *

"Wow," Erin breathed as Jay pulled up to the cabin on the lake. He had sent some cash to a guy in town he knew had a snowplow so that the driveway was clear and Jay could pull right up to the cabin door. The man had even thought to shovel the front porch and walkway. "It's gorgeous in the wintertime."

She and Jay had spent the July fourth weekend at the cabin, literally days before they found out about Kate. He had been grateful to get away from the city and the fireworks, secluded about a mile outside a small town. This time around, there was nearly two feet of snow and it was brutally cold, but somehow Jay and Erin both felt more whole.

While the cabin did not have heat, there were wood burning stoves in every room that Jay's guy had set, so the entire place was a warm and cozy respite from the Wisconsin chill. Erin had settled Kate on the couch in the living room and spread a quilted blanket over her shivering body. "How'd this place get set up before we got here?" Erin asked, shedding her large winter coat after the warmth of the fire settled into her bones.

"I got a guy," Jay flashed a boyish smile and set the groceries that they had purchased in town on the kitchen counter, "How about if I make us some grilled cheeses for lunch?"

"I'm starving." Erin nodded and glanced down at the sleeping little girl. She adjusted the blanket, carefully trying to avoid waking her up. "I'll wake her up when lunch is ready."

A few minutes after Erin finally settled herself on the couch with her book, Kate's eyes opened. "Mommy," she mumbled blearily, reaching a hand out of the quilted blanket, "My tummy."

"You can take a rest now, okay sweetheart?" Erin stroked her hair back, "Daddy's making grilled cheeses for lunch and then you can take some medicine."

"Where are we?" Kate yawned, glancing around at her surroundings.

"Daddy's cabin in Wisconsin." Erin accepted the sandwich from her partner and held it out to the little girl, "Look, Daddy made you a grilled cheese. Do you want to take a few bites so you can have some medicine?"

Kate reluctantly ate some of the sandwich and swallowed her pills, laying back down on the couch. "I still hurt," she mumbled as Jay took a seat on the other side of her.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Squirt. Where does your tummy hurt?" Jay rubbed her foot though the quilt with one hand, eating his sandwich with the other.

"Where it always does." Kate motioned to where her incision was, and where the surgery had taken place.

"You can't take any more medicine for a few hours." Erin sighed, "But we'll stay here with you, how about that?"

Kate nodded tiredly as her mother continued to run fingers through her hair, "I'm going to take a nap." she slurred, before drifting off to sleep once again.

* * *

"Er?" Jay called out, peering into the living room after washing up from lunch. Kate was still asleep in the corner of the overstuffed couch, draped with a patchwork blanket that his grandmother made. The fire was roaring and Erin sat rigidly perched on the edge, her face grimacing. "You okay?"

"Mm," Erin replied, opening her eyes, " _That_ time. Cramps."

Jay winced, "Sorry babe." He emerged from the kitchen with two mugs of steaming coffee, handing one to his partner.

"Thanks," She whispered gratefully, taking a sip of the warm liquid. Erin flinched again as she felt another stab of pain in her belly. "Ugh."

"I have an idea," Jay sat on the loveseat and stretched his legs out, "C'mere." He gestured to lap, indicating for Erin to sit between his legs. Skeptically, Erin nestled against her boyfriend's chest, resting the back of her head on his shoulder. Gently, Jay rested a warm hand on her lower belly, carefully massaging her aching stomach.

"Mm." Erin moaned in appreciation, "That helps." She closed her eyes as her partner rubbed his hand across her abdomen. Erin knew that Jay was a caring and tentative man before they even started hooking up, but once they began dating seriously, Erin was constantly surprised with how tender he was with her. Jay was somehow always in tune with what she needed, and as they sat on the couch, Erin was overcome with how much this man must really love her.

"Did you take any ibuprofen?" Jay asked her as he slowly ran his hand along her belly. She nodded, snuggling closer into his chest.

"Don't stop," she begged as a wave of pain hit her, "You're helping."

"I'm not going to stop, not until you tell me too," Jay chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"It's not funny," she whined, tightening her grip on his t shirt.

"I know, I'm sorry Er, I know you're hurting," he kissed her again, hoping to take a little bit of her pain away.

* * *

"Feeling better, babe?" Jay asked as Erin entered the kitchen. Kate had slept most of the afternoon, waking up briefly for dinner before falling asleep again. Erin brought her up to the small bedroom and tucked a few blankets around her tiny body to keep her warm.

Erin nodded and wrapped her arms around her partner. His gentle ministrations had helped ease her wicked cramps and she was so grateful for his love and affection. The couple stood in their kitchen for a while, soaking in each other's embrace before working through the dinner dishes.

A whimper echoed from the small bedroom not long after they had finished cleaning up dinner. The whimper quickly escalated to a scream, sending Jay rushing up into the bedroom, Erin hot on his heels.

"Squirt, it's alright. It's Daddy." Jay cooed, sitting on the bed and taking the little girl in his arms. She had bolted upright, her body covered in sweat and tears dripping down her face.

"I'm scared, I'm scared!" Kate whimpered, clinging tighter to her father, "Where are we, where are we?"

"Shh, there's nothing to be scared about. Mommy and I are right here. We're in Wisconsin, at the cabin," He stroked her hair gently and exchanged a glance with his girl, who nodded. "How about you come stay with Mommy and I tonight?"

Kate nodded and looked up at her mother with her large, wet hazel eyes. "I'm sorry I'm scared."

"Oh, baby, don't be sorry." Erin kissed her forehead as Jay lifted the child in his arms. "We're right here, nothing bad is going to happen."

* * *

The following morning, the little family lounged around the warm cabin, listening to the wind whip against the weathered sides of their shelter. Jay packed board games and cards so he and Erin could teach Kate the little girl how to play poker. Despite Erin's skepticism about teaching a child how to gamble, Kate was actually very good at the game and had decided she was going to play Hank when they returned to Chicago.

"All that poker tired her out." Jay commented, twisting his spaghetti on his fork as he glanced over at his little girl. She had fallen asleep at the dinner table, her head resting gently on her hand, half eaten bowl of pasta dangerously close to her face.

Erin rolled her eyes and slid the bowl back. "It's six." she stated, glancing at the kitchen clock.

"It's nice not getting home at midnight." Jay said, slurping a piece of spaghetti through his lips. "We have, like, hours before we'll be tired." He raised his eyebrows suggestively, "I have an idea that might tire us out."

"Let's wake her up." Erin decided, completely sidestepping Jay's sexytime idea, "Let's go out."

"Out where?" Jay looked skeptically at his girlfriend, who was suddenly excited.

"Outside. For a walk."

"It's like fifteen degrees out. Without the wind chill."

"So we wear jackets." Erin shrugged, tossing her napkin onto her plate after wiping her mouth. "Come on Jay, the wind's died down and it'll be nice."

"And I suppose Kate will just love to be woken up and dragged out into the cold night?" Jay leaned back in his chair, perplexed that Erin would even suggest going outside when she had been adamant that the vacation was about relaxing _indoors._

Erin shrugged again. "Come on, it's rare that we're ever home at a decent hour. And then she'll be awake for a few more hours. Remember what we learned…keeping her awake might actually teach her body to not be so tired all the time."

"It's also a form of torture to keep someone awake," Jay informed her. "She's immunocompromised from surgery, too. What if she gets sick?"

"Her surgery was weeks ago. It'll be good for her to get outside a bit, seeing as we basically force her to stay indoors." She paused. "A half hour." Erin begged. "Please Jay?" She put on a puppy dog face and batted her lashes. "You know Kate loves to spend time with us."

Jay sighed. "Fine. I'll clean up the kitchen, you wake her up."

Erin grinned and got up from the table. "Kate." she said gently, softly rubbing her daughter's arm. "Wake up sweetheart."

Kate lifted her head off her arm and off the table. "I'm sorry." she apologized, rubbing her eyes. "I didn't mean to."

"You don't have to apologize baby." Erin kissed the crown of Kate's head. "I know you're sleepy. But right now, we're going out."

"Where?" Kate's eyes were still heavy as she regarded her mother curiously, "We going out?"

"Just for a walk." Erin rubbed Kate's back. "It'll be fun."

"Why?" Kate asked. Erin caught Jay's eye, and he smirked and gave the 'I told you so' look.

"Just for fun. Come on, let's go get your coat on." She helped the little girl off the chair and stroked her head, "And a hat."

"But it's cold outside." Kate said as they crossed the living room to hooks that held their winter jackets.

"That's why we're wearing coats." Erin reached under the bench and pulled out a pair of her boots and Kate's coat and boots. "And boots. And we can wear mittens and scarves, too."

"Okay." Kate looked skeptical and yawned as she pulled her boots over her socked feet.

"Jay!" Erin called. Her boyfriend emerged from the kitchen, looking weary. "Ready to go for a walk?" She laced up Kate's boots after tying her own.

"You bet." Jay gave Kate a sympathetic look and pulled his boots on. "You better bundle up Er, you know how cold you always get."

Erin helped Kate wrap a scarf around her neck and pulled mittens onto her tiny fingers. "Nice and toasty?" Erin asked her.

"Uh huh." Kate replied, yawning again.

"You're not carrying her." Erin hissed into Jay's ear as she pulled on her winter coat, "Will said that walking is good for her."

"I wasn't planning on it." Jay lied after he grabbed the keys and his phone off the counter. "Are we ready?"

Kate nodded tiredly, and followed her determined mother out the front door.

* * *

"It's so lovely out!" Erin said for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. She smiled as the cold night air bit at her cheeks. They had been walking for thirty minutes, and had just entered the small town, peering into closed shop windows and enjoying the quiet night.

"It's cold." Kate shivered, tightening her grip on her father's hand. He gave her a small squeeze. She hadn't complained once, but was starting to fall behind her parent's long strides.

"It's a bit chilly," Jay agreed, watching the warmth of his voice suspend in the night air. He spied an open diner slash café at the corner. "How about a hot chocolate to defrost for a little bit?"

Erin nodded in agreement, catching a glimpse of Kate's bright pink cheeks from a streetlamp. "Then we can head back."

The threesome shed their coats and settled into the chairs around a cold table at the diner. "Three hot chocolates." Jay said politely to the waitress before she had handed out the menus.

"That should warm you up." The waitress said sympathetically to Kate as she set the hot chocolate in front of her.

"Still cold?" Jay looked at his little girl with concern, then at Erin.

"I'm o-o-okay." Kate's tiny hands quivered as she lifted the warm hot chocolate to her purple lips.

"C'mere." Jay helped her onto his lap, and she felt instant relief in his warm embrace.

"You're so w-warm Daddy." Kate whispered, finally taking a sip of the beverage.

"Your lips are fading." Erin smiled after a few minutes. "They were blue just a few minutes ago."

Kate smiled at her mother. "I liked the walk Mommy."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Erin shot her partner an "I told you so" look of her own, then finished off her hot chocolate. "Ready to head home?"

Kate nodded slowly, setting her empty mug back down on the table. "Tired?" Jay said knowingly as he helped her up her coat on.

She nodded again, steadying herself on the back of the chair.

"Are you okay to walk home?" Erin twisted a scarf around her neck, nervously regarding the little girl.

"I'm fine," Kate smiled, then yawned, "I like walkin'."

"Alrighty then." Jay left money on the table. "Let's head home."

Not even ten minutes into the trek home, Kate started to fall behind Erin and Jay's slower pace. "Are you alright baby?" Erin stopped and turned around to check on her daughter, who was holding Jay's hand a few paces behind.

"Uh huh." Kate yawned. "Just a little sleepy."

"Okay well I don't want you to fall asleep while we're walking. Do you think you can make it to the cabin, or do you want Daddy to carry you?"

"I'm okay Mommy." Kate said bravely, her teeth chattering.

"Erin, she's freezing." Jay pointed out, finally fed up by going along with his girlfriend's frigid plan. Jay scooped up his little girl and placed her on his back. "Come on, let's head home."

"She's going to fall asleep." Erin hissed, gently adjusting Kate's scarf around her neck.

"So be it." Jay shrugged, shifting slightly. "You okay up there?"

"Yes." squeaked Kate, her teeth chattering.

"We should start walking." Erin said quickly, suddenly realizing that her decision to keep Kate awake past eight was going to fail.

Jay took Erin's mittened hand and the family headed down the dark street to the cabin, path illuminated by the flashlight on Erin's phone.

"Are you still awake baby?" Erin looked up over Jay's shoulder. Kate was struggling to stay awake, but had managed to continue talking to her parents during the forty minutes it took for them to get back to the cabin. They were approaching the long driveway to the cabin and the familiarity had caused Jay to quicken his pace.

"I'm awake." Kate said softly, her eyes drooping. "Are we almost back?"

"Yes." Jay replied, stopping in his tracks. He winked at his girl, then swung his daughter around so that she was in his arms.

"What are you doing Daddy?" Kate giggled quietly.

"Keeping you awake." Jay tossed her up in the air, then caught her again in his arms. Kate squealed with joy, holding tightly to her father's neck, giggling incessantly.

"Careful Jay!" Erin grabbed her partner's arm. "You'll hurt her stomach."

"I'm fine Mommy." Kate laughed as Jay carried her up the front porch, "Daddy's just bein' silly."

"If you had dropped her…" Erin shoved Jay's key into the lock and twisted the knob. "Jay, I swear to God…"

"She's fine." He set Kate down. She was shivering slightly as he helped take her heavy coat off and remove the mittens from her tiny fingers.

"Kate, baby, can you go put some warm pajamas on? Socks included," Erin instructed while shedding her many layers onto the hooks. "I'm going to make some tea."

"You and your herbal tea." Jay teased.

"It keeps me warm at night, since my partner is such a hot body and likes to throw the covers off around one AM." She poked him in the ribs before starting the kettle.

"You know you love it." Jay took her by her hips and planted a kiss on her lips.

"That's why I wanted to go for a walk tonight." She wrapped her arms around her boyfriend's strong torso and rested her head on his chest. "Thank you."

"I enjoyed it too." Jay smiled at his girl's sudden affection. "I'm glad you're happy."

"I'm so happy." Erin turned her face into his neck and breathed deeply. "And you smell like hot chocolate and cologne."

"Sexy, eh?" He tipped his head down and tenderly kissed her forehead. She shivered. "Are you still cold, babe?"

She shook her head and held him tighter. "I'm just glad that I'm here with you. And with Kate."

Jay ran his fingers over her soft hair. "I'm so glad that we're here too." He paused. "Where is she?"

Erin pulled away from her partner. "I sent her to put on warm pajamas like five minutes ago."

"That was five minutes ago." Jay said seriously. He had become increasingly nervous of Kate's whereabouts since she had gotten sick, and more so after she had ripped her stitches.

"Kate?" Erin's voice echoed through the quiet house.

"She might have fallen asleep." Jay pointed out, trailing after Erin. "I'll check our bedroom."

"Kate!" The voice of a worried mother came sharper this time.

"I'm in here Mommy." A soft voice murmured from the living room. Jay quickly turned to see his daughter curled up on the couch in her pajamas with the stuffed lion and tiger, little face illuminated by the glow of the fireplace.

"You scared us for a minute." Jay said honestly. He sat down next to her and put his arm over her tiny shoulders. "Mommy and I got worried."

"You don't gotta be worried," Kate stated simply, "I'm okay Daddy. I'm getting better."

"I know, kiddo. But you scared us a few weeks ago, and that's why we worry. So just make sure you tell us when something's wrong, okay?"

Kate nodded, snuggling closer to her father. "I like it here with you and Mommy."

Erin emerged from the kitchen, bearing mugs of tea. "Me too baby." she agreed, "How about some herbal tea before bed?"

* * *

 **Also if you're interested in a continuation of this story let me know! Next chapter is my personal favorite, so stay tuned!  
**


	23. Chapter 23

**This is the chapter I know you all have been waiting for! Let me know what you think!**

 **Trigger Warning for child abuse**

The day Erin, Jay and Kate returned from their getaway, another massive case began, resulting in a series of extraordinarily late nights for the entire unit. For Kate's sake, Erin and Jay switched off who came home later so that the little girl didn't have to spend the night in the district and so that at least one of them would be kind of well-rested the next day. Jay trudged down the chilly apartment hallway, excited for the prospect of getting some much-needed rest. He and Atwater apprehended the head of the underground gambling ring, a man who was responsible for chopping the fingers off of patrons and embezzling hundreds of thousands of dollars from international business people. With the main boss in custody, Hank had ordered the unit to come in later with a fresh set of eyes.

It took two attempts at scraping the key against the lock before the door slowly closed behind him. His daughter's little shoes were lined up neatly next to her mothers, along with their coats and scarves hanging tidily by the rack. Jay smiled at his shared desire for neatness that had rubbed off on Kate and hung his coat next to Erin's.

Jay could see Kate's bedroom door was slightly ajar, meaning that she had fallen asleep and already had one nightmare. There was a low light on in the kitchen and Jay saw that on the kitchen counter lay a plate of Chinese food covered in tin foil that had long gone cold. The sticky note read, in delicate childlike handwriting: "Daddy's Dinner". Again, he smiled at his daughter's thoughtfulness and picked at his Chinese food, but was too exhausted to taste much. As he wandered over to toward the bedroom, he jumped at the sight of Erin, asleep on the couch. Jay had told Erin that she shouldn't wait up for him, because he knew he may not make it home before sunrise. However, that didn't stop her from spending the night on the couch, waiting for her partner to return.

On nights that they both worked late, the less tired of the two would drive home (it was normally Jay). Kate was used to waking up in the break room or Voight's office before being carried into the car dark of night. She was really easygoing about her parents' schedules, just happy to be with two adults who loved her unconditionally.

The light on the cable box read that it was just after three in the morning, and judging by his girl's heavy breathing, she had fallen asleep some time ago, but had undoubtedly tried to stay awake. Jay loved nights like these ones, after a long day in in the field. Erin looked so serene and beautiful, and he knew that he could easily carry her to bed and hold her in his arms.

He took the book from out of her hands and gently placed it on the coffee table. Jay wrapped his tired arms around his girl's thin body and lifted her up. Suddenly, he became acutely aware of how light and tiny she was, her soft brown hair mussed from sleep and relaxed features likening her to a young girl or as Jay liked to say, an angel.

Jay gently set Erin down on the bed, pulling up the comforter to her chin, just the way she liked it. He tucked her in and tenderly kissed her forehead before shedding his shirt and pants and climbing into bed beside her.

Just as he was about to fall asleep, Jay heard the sound of tiny footsteps in the hallway, followed by a soft creak of the bedroom door. "Kate?" he whispered as he saw the tiny figure appear at the door frame. "What's wrong?"

The little girl rushed next to her father's bed as Jay sat up rapidly. "What's going on?" Jay whispered, more urgently, trying to find his baby's gaze.

"I'm looking," she mumbled, suddenly dropping to the floor to look under the bed.

"What are you looking for?" Jay was confused. "Kate, what is it?"

"I'm looking," she muttered again as she rose to her feet, "I wanna get out of here."

"Kate…" The lack of blankets and pillows instantly chilled Jay as he got out of bed, realizing that his little girl may still be asleep, "Do you know where you are?"

"I'm looking," she repeated, stronger this time. "I'm looking for a way out."

Jay noticed her lack of eye contact and sank down to eye level with Kate. He squatted on the cold hardwood floor and looked into her unfocused eyes. "Kate, I think you're sleepwalking."

The little girl backed away slowly, staring at the far window with the streetlight shining through. "Stop!" she shouted, pointing to the window and then in Jay's direction.

"Mmhm, Jay, what's going on?" Erin slowly opened her eyes to see her daughter frantic and her partner kneeling in his boxers. "What is it?"

"She's sleepwalking, I think," Jay said, reaching his arm out to his daughter before rising to his feet. "Kate, wake up. It's Daddy."

"Stop!" Kate's voice came shrill and panicky as her whole body quivered while she glanced around the room.

"Jay!" Erin exclaimed as her boyfriend took another step toward their daughter. She had gotten out of the bed and shivered in the cold night air, "Don't scare her!"

"I'm not going to hurt her," Jay said obviously, "We just need to wake her up."

"I'm pretty sure that you're not supposed to just wake a person up." Erin told him, "She could hurt herself. Or you."

"Well then, what do you suggest we do?" He asked tensely, dread filling his stomach, "Kate, do you know who I am?"

"Stop it!" Kate squealed backing up until she hit the closet door, "No!"

Jay took another step toward her. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said calmly, "See, it's just Daddy."

"Please." Kate's voice went from shrill to desperate. "Please don't touch me again."

"Oh my God." Erin brought her hand to her mouth as she saw her daughter's past open up before her eyes. "She's reliving the abuse."

"I'm not going to hurt you," Jay repeated, "I promise."

"You lie!" Kate burst into tears as she tried to press herself further into the solid closet door. "Stop, stop, stop, stop!" She tossed one of Jay's shoes in the direction of the window.

"She isn't looking at you," Erin hissed to Jay as he took another step. "It's like a hallucination."

Kate looked angrily at the big window, eyes wild and tears sliding down her cheeks. "Please, please, don't hit me again."

"It's okay," Jay whispered, taking another step toward his cowering daughter. The little girl trembled, teeming with anger and fear.

"Jay," Erin squeaked out, tears slipping down her own cheeks. "She'll panic if you touch her."

"She might wake up," he said, not taking his eyes off the quivering child. "Kate, it's Daddy. I'm not going to hurt you."

Jay took the last step to close the space between him and his daughter. He knelt down and touched her goose bump covered arm. "You're okay Squirt, you're going to be okay."

Kate let out a high pitched squeal and bolted around Jay, but he was too quick. He caught her gently by the arm and pulled her into his embrace. "Shh, Kate. Just wake up."

She beat her tiny palms against his bare chest in frustration, hot and angry tears gushing out of her eyes. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" she shrieked, her eyes clamped shut. "Stop hurting me, stop, stop, stop!"

"She's going to tear her stomach," Erin covered her eyes with her shaking hands. "Jay!"

At the sound of Erin's desperate voice, Kate stopped beating her hands against her father. "Daddy?" she asked, eyes locking in with Jay's.

"You're back." Jay breathed a sigh of relief, as did Erin.

"Nobody's going to hurt me?" Kate looked around her parent's room to see her mother's tears and the shoes she had thrown.

"Nobody's going to hurt you. You were sleepwalking." Jay explained, "It was just a bad dream."

"Uh huh." Kate crumbled into her father's embrace before bursting into tears again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be bad!"

"Shh," Jay cooed, "It wasn't your fault kiddo, you were just dreaming. Can you tell me about your dream?" He rubbed her back soothingly. "It might help if you tell me what happened."

"I knew the man," she sobbed as her father held her tighter, "He was here and he hurt me. He hurt me."

"It was a memory, sweetheart. Dreams are sometimes memories." Jay looked down at his daughter sadly, stroking her hair in an attempt to soothe the shaking child, "It was just a dream, he wasn't here."

"It felt real," Kate wailed, turning her face into his shoulder, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for crying."

"Shh, baby girl. I'm so sorry those things happened to you." He wiped the tears off her cheeks with her thumb. "I'm so, so sorry."

Erin was doing her best to keep her eyes dry, but tears kept gushing out and she could do nothing to stop them. She unintentionally sniffed loudly, causing Kate to look up, "I-I didn't mean to u-set you Mommy." Kate noticed her mother's tears. "I'm s-sorry."

Erin just shook her head, more tears streaming down her cheeks. "I made Mommy cry!" Kate buried her face into her father's shoulder. "I made her cry."

Jay looked desperately at Erin, begging her to subside her tears. "Seeing you so sad makes Mommy sad too." Jay tried to explain. "She doesn't like seeing you hurting."

"I'm fine baby," Erin stuttered, wiping her eyes yet again. "I just get sad when I see you so upset."

Kate lifted her head again and looked up at her mother. "You don't have to cry for me." She cast her eyes downward, " _I_ was bad."

"No, no, baby, you weren't bad," Erin assured her, "And you don't have to be so brave all the time." Erin sniffed, glancing down at the tear studded comforter. "You're just a little girl."

"I'm not brave," Kate whispered, allowing her father to lift her up and carry her to the bed. She crawled over the mattress to Erin's lap.

"You are too." Erin stroked her little girl's hair. "You have overcome so much."

"I'm sorry," Kate whimpered, sagging against her mother and closing her eyes.

Erin looked up at her partner with sad eyes. She couldn't believe what her little girl had been through, all alone. Kate was drifting off again, but Erin couldn't bear to release her. Jay climbed into bed beside his girlfriend pressed a lingering kiss into the side of her head. "It's going to be all right," he said, his voice lacking confidence. "We're going to help her get through this."

She turned to him, fresh tears brimming in her eyes. "But what if we can't?"

"We will," Jay said more firmly. "We have to."

* * *

"Hi Dr. Handel," Kate smiled sweetly and waved to the doctor, one hand tightly holding Erin's. She was long overdue for an appointment with the therapist, having last been a week before her emergency surgery. Five weeks later, Kate was taking half the amount of pain medication and was subsequently feeling much less sick. Following Kate's sleepwalking episode, Erin immediately scheduled Kate to see the therapist, worried that there may be more to what happened to her in New York than what the little girl was aware of.

After returning from New York, the doctor and the detectives decided it would be better to wait for a while before telling Kate about her biological relationship to Jay. Dr. Handel had been very supportive of the little girl referring to Erin and Jay as Mommy and Daddy, knowing full well that the couple intended to take on those roles for the rest of their lives.

"Hi there, Kate." Dr. Handel smiled warmly, "It is so nice to see you again. Did you have a nice holiday?"

Kate nodded vigorously as she and Erin followed Jay into the room, "We had Christmas and we went to Wis-consin!"

"Wow." Dr. Handel closed the door and settled in her chair while the family sat on the couch, "And are you feeling better? Your parents told me that you were really sick."

" _Yes,_ " Kate breathed, "So much better!" She was seated in Erin's lap and looked up at her mother, "And my tummy hurts less."

"That is fabulous news." Dr. Handel paused, "You know what Kate, if you don't mind, I need to talk to Erin and Jay for a minute. Do you think you can draw a picture? We won't be long." Kate nodded and headed for the little table in the corner, settling down in one of the small chairs and busying herself with a coloring sheet.

"Everything okay, doc?" Jay asked, suddenly feeling quite nervous.

"Yes," Dr. Handel nodded, "And I know we need to talk about Kate's recent sleepwalking episode, but first I need to tell you that I received a subpoena last night, from the defense attorney for Joseph Pierce. It appears he appealed for a re-trial and has pled not guilty to the charge of physical maltreatment of a child in the first."

"But why were you subpoenaed?" Erin asked, dread filling her stomach as she glanced over to her little girl, who was coloring innocently.

"I am being subpoenaed as someone who can talk to Kate's mental competency. This usually means that they want the patient to testify," Dr. Handel grimaced slightly, "Of course, she's only four years old, and as such my medical and personal opinion is that she should not have to testify, especially considering the fact that Pierce physically abused her."

"But?" Jay probed, waiting for the other shoe to drop, "You think they'll subpoena her anyway?"

Dr. Handel nodded sadly, "They've managed to get this one judge who I have a feeling will allow a child of Kate's age to be used as a witness. I am technically not even supposed to be telling you this, but seeing as she's not even in Kindergarten yet, I believe you have the right to know."

"Thank you. For telling us," Erin said, exchanging a glance with Jay, "But um, what good will calling the child who accused him of abuse do for Pierce's defense?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Dr. Handel said, "But knowing Ed Bowler's tactics, I'm assuming that he is going for the 'CPD has a vendetta against my client' angle. You are definitely going to want to speak with ASA Stone as soon as possible. I'm afraid that Bowler will try to twist Kate's relationship with you and the CPD, so he may recommend calling Kate for the prosecution so that Bowler's job is harder."

"God." Jay ran a hand over his face, "He's going to dig at the fact that Kate is my biological daughter, isn't he?"

Dr. Handel nodded again, "Professionally speaking, I recommend that you tell her today. I know we agreed that it should be done later, but given the circumstances-"

"I get it," Erin said, taking Jay's hand and giving it a squeeze, "I think she'll be okay."

"Kate, can you come show us your picture?" Dr. Handel asked, giving a reassuring nod to Erin and Jay, "We'd love to see it." The little girl nodded eagerly and presented the piece of paper that she had drawn to the doctor, "Can you tell me about it?"

"That's mommy," Kate pointed to the woman she had drawn, "That's daddy and that's me!" She smiled up at her parents, who beamed with pride.

"I think we should get this one framed, what do you think Er?" Jay grinned at his girl, who smiled back. He could tell that she was anxious about telling Kate that while Jay might be biologically related to her, she was not.

"I love it." Erin cleared her throat and shifted so that Kate could settle onto the couch between her parents.

"Okay, Kate, so there's a few things that we want to talk to you about today," Dr. Handel began, "Do you know what biological means?"

The little girl shook her head, "Like science?"

"Biology is science, you're absolutely right. But biological means being related to someone or something based on what's inside your body. So for example, puppies are biologically related to their mommy and daddy dog, does that make sense?"

Kate nodded slowly. Dr. Handel raised her eyebrows and nodded slightly at Jay, indicating for him to pick up where she left off. "Squirt, do you remember the day Erin found you?" She nodded in response. "So that day, which was an amazing day because we got to meet you, started when a woman came to the district looking to talk to me. She told Erin and me that she had a little girl who she hadn't seen in a long time but that she knew the little girl was not being taken care of."

"Me?" Kate guessed, and Erin nodded.

"Yep, we didn't know where you were, so Sergeant Voight and the rest of our unit set to work to find you. And when we did, we were so relieved," Erin kissed the top of Kate's head and blinked back tears, "And right after that, when you were still in the hospital, Jay and I worked to find the bad guys but also people that were biologically related to you because we didn't want those same bad people to be with you."

"We found out that the woman who came to the district was your biological mother," Jay explained, "That means that she gave birth to you." He paused, exchanging looks with both the doctor and his partner, "We also found out that I am your biological father."

The little girl wrinkled her forehead, trying to wrap her head around the information she had been given, "The lady that Mr. P shot," Kate stated, "That lady was my bi-logical mother?"

Jay grimaced and nodded, not realizing that his little girl would put the two together so quickly, "Yes, that woman's name was Jillian Turner Bissett, and she and I met many years ago. But after that, I never saw her again until she showed up at the district," Jay swallowed thickly, "And I never knew that she had given birth to a little girl, to you."

Kate thought hard about what she was just told, "How come she wasn't with me, then?" she asked, "If she knew 'bout me, how come she wasn't there?"

"She had gotten into some trouble," Jay divulged, "She, uh, made some bad choices and hung out with some bad people and had to go to jail for a while and leave you, when you were just a little baby. She was married to a man who was friends with," Jay winced saying his name, "Paul Jackson and so when that man died, that's how Mr. P got you. And when she got out of jail, she came to find me because she remembered I was with the police."

Kate nodded slowly, still processing the information. "But _Erin_ is my mommy."

"Well, I'm your mommy now, but Jillian was the woman who gave birth to you," Erin tried to explain, "Jay is your biological daddy but I'm not your biological mommy."

The little girl shook her head, "That lady is _not_ my mommy," she turned her head to glance up at Erin, " _You're_ my _real_ mommy because you found me and love me and take care of me. And Daddy said you were going to be my mommy and daddy _forever._ "

Tears spilled over Erin's cheeks as her daughter leaned into her embrace, "You're absolutely right, Squirt." Jay kissed the top of the little girl's head and reached one arm out to cup Erin's cheek, "No matter what happens, you and me and Erin are going to be a family." A tear slipped down his cheek, "And soon, Erin's gonna adopt you so you can get a new birth certificate with her name on it too."

"Good," Kate breathed, "I want everyone to know that you're my mommy and you're my daddy."

* * *

Following the emotional session with Dr. Handel, Jay, Erin and Kate ventured to a local ice cream parlor despite the fact that it was a brutally cold January Saturday. "I'm glad you're my bi-logical daddy and that mommy's gonna 'dopt me," Kate informed Jay, in between licks of her chocolate chunk cone, "Because that means they can't take me away."

"What do you mean, baby?" Erin asked, a spoonful of mint chocolate chip still in her mouth.

"I heard Sergeant Voight talkin' once 'bout people taking kids away from families they weren't related to. And I worried 'bout that since I didn't know I was yours." Kate shrugged, taking another lick of her cone.

"You know that's not going to happen, right Squirt?" Jay asked, "We're not going to let anyone take you away."

"I know." Kate offered a smile, lips covered in chocolate ice cream, "But I got some questions."

Jay chuckled, "Okay, shoot."

"What's my middle name?" Kate looked up at him quizzically, "Cause Tara in school has one but I didn't know if I did."

"Um, your full name, on your birth certificate, says Katherine Jane Halstead," Jay informed her, glancing at Erin out of the corner of his eye. She was still smiling lovingly at their little girl, most of the forgotten ice cream melting in her cup.

Kate thought for a moment, "Can we change it?"

"If you want." Jay and Erin exchanged glances, "What do you want your middle name to be?"

After a beat, Kate broke into a huge smile. "I know. My middle name should be Lindsay. That way I get some of mommy's name too!"

Jay beamed proudly at his brilliant little girl. As if she hadn't cried enough that afternoon, Erin felt tears forming in her eyes, "You sure baby?"

Kate nodded emphatically, "Yes!" She licked her ice cream again, "But I still want to be called Kate. Not Kaf-rin."

Her parents laughed and Erin wiped her eyes, "Not to worry, you'll always be Kate."

* * *

 **xoxojennaxoxo in response to your review (and thank you by the way!) I have not completely thought through that part. This may end up being a little longer than 30 chapters before I start the after stuff but I haven't decided what goes where yet, so I guess you'll have to wait and see :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Dun Dun.**

 **Trigger Warning for Child Abuse.**

* * *

"When exactly were you planning on informing us that our four year old was going to have to testify in front of the man who used to abuse her?" Jay hissed angrily at Peter Stone, who was standing in the spare office on the first floor of the 21st District.

"I just found out about the subpoenas this morning," Stone said, "I assumed that they were going to use Dr. Handel as a professional with insights into your daughter, not that she would have to testify to Kate's ability to be on the stand."

"She's four years old." Erin folded her arms across her chest, "What kind of judge is going to swear in a child who hasn't even started kindergarten?"

"Judge Timothy Callahan would be that judge," Stone informed them, "And I'm afraid that unless you want this guy to walk, Kate is going to have to testify. I've already listed Kate as a prosecution witness, so I should be able to question her first."

"You mean to tell me that that _prick_ is going to cross examine _my_ daughter?" Jay shouted, "You've got to be _fucking_ kidding me."

"Detective Halstead, I assure you that this is the best possible scenario given the circumstances. I'll be able to help Kate prepare so that she feels safe on the stand."

"Oh my God." Erin covered her face with her hand, holding up her cell phone that showed a text from Platt, "You listed both Jay and I as well? So we can't sit in the courtroom."

Jay was positively furious as he gripped the sides of the desk tightly, "Listen, buddy, you better put that son of a bitch behind bars if we have to tell our traumatized little girl that she is going to have to be in the same room as Pierce _without_ her parents there with her."

"I promise you, detectives, I am doing everything in my power to keep Pierce off the street and locked up. But if you want to make sure he never sees the light of day, you need to bring your little girl to the courthouse tomorrow afternoon so we can go over everything that's going to happen," Stone turned to leave, "Look, I know this isn't going to be easy, but it is our only option."

Erin turned to Jay, hands on her hips, "I don't think she has a choice," she sighed, "I mean, Dr. Handel already told the judge that Kate shouldn't have to testify. He's going off some statute that says that any person accused of assault has the right to face their accuser."

"I can't believe Joseph Pierce gets to twist the law to his advantage." Jay sank into a chair and rubbed his face with one hand, "And now we need to tell Kate that she's going to have to sit in the same room as him. Christ, what a mess."

Erin ran her hands across her partner's shoulders and down his muscular arms, "I know, babe. I know. But it doesn't look like there's anything we can do to stop this. You and I are going to testify honestly to what Kate has told us about Big Joe, and Stone will emphasize it when she's on the stand."

"It's the cross examination that worries me," Jay breathed, relaxing slightly at Erin's touch, "Bowler is a bastard. Do you remember how he frightened Kate when she identified Pierce in the line up? She was literally vibrating in fear."

"We'll prepare her. And we need to prepare ourselves as well. I have a feeling that Bowler is going to go for the low blows. I hope to God they don't bring up Bunny," Erin mused, "If I have to see her, I-I don't know what I'd do."

* * *

"I gotta sit up there?" Kate asked, pointing to the witness stand. "And there's gonna be people in the seats?"

"Yep. And your mommy and daddy are going to be there too." Stone promised. He had managed to convince the judge to allow Erin and Jay to testify prior to Kate so that they could be in the courtroom while she was being questioned. While Callahan had acquiesced to that stipulation, he held firm that Kate needed to be present in the courtroom and could not be obstructed by a screen or on video camera.

"And Big Joe." Kate looked nervously around the empty courtroom, "Where's he gonna be?"

"Right here." Jay tapped the table where the defense would sit, "But he is not going to be able to touch you, I promise. He's got handcuffs on and there will be a bunch of police officers watching his every move."

"And once I ask you a few questions, Mr. Bowler is going to ask some to. All you have to do is answer honestly," Stone instructed, "Just like we practiced."

"I'm scared of him," Kate whimpered, recalling her last experience with the aggressive attorney when she picked Pierce out of a lineup, "He makes me scared."

"It's okay, baby. Daddy and I are going to be sitting right there," Erin pointed to the second row of gallery seats, "And afterwards, you'll never have to see him again."

"And big Joe will go to jail?" Kate asked, still appearing extremely nervous, "So he can't get me?"

"That's what we're trying to do," Stone said, closing the folder of files he was using, "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, okay?"

* * *

On the morning of Kate's testimony, the little girl had been so nervous at breakfast that she barely choked down half of a banana. She could sense her parents' apprehension of the whole situation and was extremely anxious about having to sit in front of all the people. Jay and Erin promised that it would be okay and that they would be in the audience, but Kate was still incredibly afraid. She clung to Jay as they waited outside the courtroom for Erin to finish her testimony, intensely shuddering in his arms. "I don't feel good," the little girl mumbled, holding onto her father as tight as she possibly could, "My tummy hurts."

"I know it does, kiddo, but it's going to be okay," Jay whispered, kissing the top of her head as he gently caressed her back. "When this is all done, we can go home and sleep. I know you're really nervous, and that makes your tummy hurt sometimes, right?" He didn't receive any acknowledgement that his child had heard him, but he continued, "I am so sorry but we need you to hang on a little while longer and take deep breaths."

"I want to go home, now," Kate whined plaintively, "Please, Daddy, please."

"Oh, Squirt, I wish we could." Jay kissed her head again, pulling the little girl tighter into his embrace, "You have been so brave and I am so incredibly proud of you. When Mommy comes back, you two are going to wait in a room while I talk to ASA Stone. And then while he asks you a few questions, Mommy and I will be waiting in the audience for you."

"But what if he _gets_ me?" Kate whimpered, "I don't want to go back with him, I don't, I don't."

"He's not going near you, sweetheart," Jay attempted to calm the little girl down by rocking gently back and forth, "He's got handcuffs on and he's going to be at the table, far away from you. And ASA Stone is going to be there, and he's a nice man who will make sure Joe stays far away."

"B-but the mean man." Tears welled in Kate's eyes, "The mean man with the tie. What if he gets me and takes me back?"

"He can't, Squirt, I promise." Jay rested his cheek against the top of Kate's head, "Ed Bowler is just going to ask questions, but he can't touch you and he can't take you anywhere. Mommy and I are going to be in the audience too, so if you get scared, you look to us, okay?"

"Promise? You're not gonna leave?" Kate whispered, still incredibly unconvinced.

"I promise." Jay replied back, "We're here for you."

* * *

Jay and Erin sat rigidly in the gallery pews, watching their little girl intently as a court martial helped her into the witness stand. Dr. Handel had testified previously to the little girl's understanding of what happened to her and why she was in the courtroom, as had Erin and Jay. They all stressed the intense trauma she had already endured, but Bowler was a savvy and expensive mouthpiece who knew just how to spin their words. During Erin's cross-examination he brought up her tumultuous relationship with Bunny, history of drug abuse and association with Voight, causing her to leave the stand nearly in tears. Jay had almost laid the man out where he stood when he suggested he and Erin were exploiting Kate as well, but restrained himself after an aggressive glare from the judge.

Kate was trembling persistently prior to being in the courtroom and began shaking violently after she caught sight of Joseph Pierce sitting behind the table with Ed Bowler. "Hi Kate." Stone smiled gently at the little girl, trying to offer a friendly face, "My name is Peter Stone, and I'm going to ask you a few questions, is that okay with you?" She nodded timidly. "I am going to need you to answer verbally okay? So say yes or no. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes." Kate choked out, gripping tightly to the seat of the wooden chair with sweaty palms, "I understand."

"Great. Can you tell me what your name is?"

"K-Kate Halstead," She looked out into the audience, trying to find her parents. She saw Erin and Jay sitting in the pews, watching the trial intently, and relaxed ever so slightly knowing that they were there. "My real name is Kaf-rin b-but I'm called Kate."

"And how old are you, Kate?" Stone smiled again.

"Four." Kate held up four fingers.

"Wow, you're so grown up for being four," Stone gushed, "Who do you live with?"

"My mommy and daddy." Kate replied, craning her neck so that she could see her parents. Erin and Jay smiled widely at her, nervously beaming with pride but also with concern for the next few moments.

"And do you know what their names are?"

"Erin Lindsay and Jay H-Halstead."

"Right. Are they the only people you've ever lived with, or have you lived with other people before?" Stone asked, repeating a question that he had practiced the other day with the child.

"I-I used to live somewhere else. With other men." Kate replied, glancing quickly to Pierce and back to the State's Attorney.

"Are any of those people in the courtroom today?"

"Yes." Kate nodded, gripping her chair tightly again.

"Can you point to them for me?" Kate lifted a trembling finger and pointed to Joseph Pierce, "Let the record show that the witness has identified Joseph Pierce."

"Noted." Judge Callahan said, peering down at the little girl from his seat of authority.

"Do you know what that man's name is?" Stone glanced over to the large man who wore a menacing scowl.

"He was called Big Joe," Kate whispered, "I was very afraid of him."

"Why were you afraid of him?" Stone probed.

"Because he used to hit me. Before the police took me from the house, Big Joe used to punch me and b-burn me with cigarettes." Kate searched for her parents gaze and saw that Erin looked close to tears, "He hurt me all the time."

"I bet it's very scary to have to see him again." Stone stated, pausing to glance knowingly at the jury.

"Your Honor, I didn't hear a question asked." Bowler interrupted.

"Let me rephrase. Is it scary to have to see Joseph Pierce?"

"Yes," Kate stammered, "I am very scared."

Stone smirked at Bowler, "Thank you Kate. That's all from me."

Kate let out a breath but quickly inhaled after Bowler rose to his feet and approached the witness stand. She leaned back in her chair, attempting to put as much space between her and the lawyer as possible. "Oh, no," Jay hissed, watching the scene unfold. Erin grimaced, bracing herself.

"Hi Kate, my name is Ed Bowler and I'm just going to ask you a few more questions, okay?"

"Yes," Kate replied shakily. From their vantage point, Jay and Erin could see how the little girl was visibly trembling as she rigidly sat on the wooden chair.

"Alright Miss Halstead, do you know the difference between the truth and a lie?"

"Um, l-lies aren't real. They're made up stories that can be used to hurt people," Kate told him, echoing a lesson that she learned in preschool. Jay let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding. Maybe it would be okay.

"That's right. And have you ever told a lie?"

Kate thought for a moment but shook her head. "No."

"So you were telling the truth when you said that this man, right here," Bowler gestured to Pierce, "Used to hit you?"

"Yes. He used to hit me." Kate nodded.

"When did he hit you?"

"When I was being bad," Kate replied honestly. Jay winced at her choice of words. While he knew that she had never done anything wrong, the jury sure didn't.

"I see. So-"

"But I wasn't really bad," Kate rushed out, "He hit me when I would ask to go to the bathroom and they were takin' grown up candy. Or when I asked questions or sometimes if I 'terrupted." Kate looked down at her hands, "I know I wasn't _really_ bad, they just liked to tell me I was." Stone smiled at her and nodded slightly, indicating that she had answered perfectly.

"I see. And did you talk with your mom and dad about what you were going to say today?"

Again, Kate thought for a moment, "They told me to tell the truth. And I did."

"So, Erin Lindsay and Jay Halstead, both detectives in the Chicago Police Department, prepared you for this conversation today, is that correct?"

Kate nodded slowly, "They said that I just had to be honest. Cause I was nervous."

"And have they ever lied to you?" Bowler's eyes twinkled menacingly, glancing over his shoulder to the detectives in the courtroom gallery, "Have they ever told you something that wasn't true?"

"I-I don't know." Kate looked alarmed. She had never thought that Jay or Erin would outright lie to her.

"What about your mom, Erin Lindsay? Has she ever lied to you?"

"I don't know," Kate repeated. Erin gripped Jay's thigh nervously, anticipating the worst.

"Did she ever tell you that she used to do drugs? That she used to sell them to people too?" Erin's jaw dropped. She shouldn't have been surprised that Bowler would stoop so low, yet here they were.

"Objection, Your Honor!" Stone stood up, "Relevance?"

"Speaks to a pattern," Bowler argued back, receiving the nod of approval, "Did Erin Lindsay ever tell you that she used and sold drugs?"

Kate shook her head, "No." Her lower lip quivered, "But Erin never hits me. He did." She pointed at Pierce and turned to the judge. "C-can I get down now?"

"A few more questions," Bowler insisted, flipping over the piece of paper on his desk. "Do you know who Barbara Fletcher is?"

"N-no," Kate stuttered, looking to ASA Stone desperately, "I would like to be _done,_ " She allowed a tear to creep out of the corner of her eye, "Please."

"Wrap it up, Mr. Bowler," Callahan stated, noticing that the little girl was quickly unravelling.

"You may know her by her nickname, Bunny. Do you know who that is?" Bowler cast a sideways glance to Erin.

"Yes," Kate replied, tears now steadily falling down her cheeks.

"Did you know that she is the mother of Erin Lindsay?"

"Y-yes," The traumatized child squeaked out. She gripped the sides of the chair tighter.

"In the statement you gave to police, you said that Barbara Fletcher witnessed the abuse you claim my client inflicted, yet she is unable to testify. Do you know why that is?"

"Objection!" Stone stood, "The jury has been made aware that Ms. Fletcher is not testifying as to not incriminate herself. The state is not pressing charges and therefore this question is inadmissible."

"Sustained. The jury will disregard." Callahan growled, "Mr. Bowler."

The defense attorney nodded in understanding and turned back to the frightened child. "Miss Halstead, did you know that your father, Jay Halstead, is also your biological father?"

"Yes," Kate replied, the tears subsiding after Bowler had been reprimanded. Stone had given her a reassuring nod, indicating that it was okay to continue.

"And did you know that he was in the military, stationed in Afghanistan?"

"Yes." She nodded. Jay had told her that he spent time in the military and was in Afghanistan one night after a particularly horrific nightmare. He told her that he gets nightmares sometimes too, but that he always knew he was safe when he woke up next to Erin.

"Did you know that he killed many innocent women and children while he was over there?" It was Jay's turn to be shocked. He trembled with rage as he watched his little girl glance at him and back to the lawyer, fear swimming in her hazel eyes.

"Objection!" Stone shouted again, "Detective Halstead's work in the military is not relevant in this case."

"Move on, Mr. Bowler," Judge Callahan instructed. Kate was visibly shaking in her chair as Bowler took a step closer to her. Tears welled in her eyes and quickly spilled over her cheeks as Bowler advanced, stopping right before the witness stand.

"Does Detective Halstead ever hurt you?" Bowler pressed, raising his eyebrows at the little girl, "Has he ever hit you?"

"No!" Kate exclaimed, shaking her head furiously, "No, no."

"Not even when he gets angry? I know guys like him, and they get angry all the time." He faked a concerned look, "Not even when he's had a few drinks?"

"My daddy doesn't hit me. Or get angry," Kate informed him, tears trickling down her face, "Am-am I done?"

"Do you think your new parents lied to you?" Bowler asked, completely ignoring the little girl's request to be done, "Told you to say something in order for them to get a conviction on an innocent man?"

"They didn't lie. I didn't lie," Kate squeaked, tears now streaming down her face as she leaned farther away from Bowler. Stone stood, ready to issue an objection, but the judge pointed at him and waved his hand, telling him to sit down.

"How do we know you're not making this up?" Bowler asked, "How do we know that you haven't been manipulated by the Chicago police since day one, taken in and fed lies. What makes you think that this woman who isn't your real mother wouldn't just leave you at the"-

"Objection! Bowler is berating a four year old witness." Stone barked, jumping up from his seat. Before the judge could rule, Kate let go of her grip on the chair.

"I'm. Not. Lying!" Kate shouted, anger boiling over her little body. Jay and Erin exchanged surprised glances at Kate's outburst. The detectives were astounded that the judge let Bowler get away with his questions but were even more shocked at Kate's rebuttal. Bowler glared at her and the child instantly shrank back, covering her face with her hands, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Kate rushed out, "I'm sorry, please don't hit me, don't hit me." She erupted in sobs. "I want to get down."

Erin felt her heart clench as she watched her little girl sit on the witness stand, crying in earnest. "I'm not going to hit you." Bowler assured her, lowering his tone.

"Bad men always hit me." Kate choked out, still cowering in her chair, "I don't like being hit."

Tears ran down Erin's face as she regarded her daughter. Jay was angrily gripping the bench, just as Kate had been, trying not to explode right then and there. The jury appeared to be in shock, a few jurors wiping tears from their eyes at the little girl's painful statements. "I want to get _down._ " Kate begged, "Please, let me down."

"No further questions." Bowler conceded, tossing his piece of paper onto the table. Kate was let out of the witness stand and she sprinted out of the courtroom as fast as her little legs would carry her.

Erin and Jay hurried through the double doors, searching wildly for their daughter. "Kate?" Jay called out, spinning around. The hallway appeared to be empty but a broken sob drew their attention to the bench in the far corner, where a small figure was shuddering against the railing.

"Oh, baby." Erin rushed over, enveloping the shaking child in her embrace, "I am so sorry you had to go through that."

"He's horrible," Kate croaked, her voice muffled against Erin's shoulder, "He was so mean."

"I know, Squirt," Jay cooed, running a hand over his little girl's head, "You were so brave. We are so proud of you for telling the truth."

"I didn't lie," Kate choked out, "I didn't, I promise." She burst into tears again, muffled wails echoing off the marble hallway.

"We know, sweetheart, we know." Erin gently rocked the little girl back and forth, trying to calm her down, "Daddy and I are so proud of you for getting up there. I know it was so hard but you were so good. It's over now, okay?"

"I don't ever gotta see Big Joe again?" Kate sniffed, lifting her head off Erin's shoulder and regarding Jay wearily, "Ever?"

"Never again." Jay's heart broke at the sight of his baby's swollen and red eyes, tear stained cheeks and quivering frame. The double doors to the courtroom opened and Bowler emerged, the rest of legal team behind him, "Hey!" Jay shouted, jumping to his feet and marching toward the defense attorney, "What the _fuck_ was that?"

"Easy, detective." Bowler raised his hands, "I was just doing my job."

"Your 'job' is not to force a four year old to testify against a criminal who abused and sexually assaulted her," Jay growled, "Your job is _not_ to berate a witness who is so traumatized she can barely speak." He stepped closer to the attorney, ready to punch him square in the face.

"Careful, Halstead, or I'll have your badge." Bowler hissed, "And then your kid will end up back where she came from." Erin could have sworn that smoke came out of Jay's ears as he brought back his fist, gentle eyes clouded with anger.

"Daddy!" Kate yelped, just as Antonio Dawson stepped between the two men, forcibly lowering Jay's arm.

"Not worth it, Halstead." Antonio admonished, taking the younger detective by the shoulder and pulling him aside. Kate burst into tears for the umpteenth time that day at the sight of her father in such a state. Erin tried desperately to comfort the little girl, but had little success. She jumped to her feet and exited the courthouse, Kate in her arms. Erin headed for the car, trying to put as much space between the traumatic experience and her baby as possible.

* * *

"Is Daddy bad?" Kate whimpered, pressed into Erin's lap in the backseat of the Sierra, "Is he?"

"Oh, no, baby." Erin reassured her, smoothing her hands over her little head, "Not at all. Daddy's a good man. He just got upset at Mr. Bowler because he was so mean to you."

"Why did Mr. Bowler say those things?" Kate whimpered, sagging heavily against Erin's chest, "I _saw_ him make you and Daddy sad."

"He was paid a lot of money to try to get Big Joe out of jail. But you did so well, sweetheart, and he is just a horrible, manipulative man." Erin struggled to find appropriate words to describe the low life defense attorney. "Daddy was upset that he was allowed to talk to you like that, because it shouldn't have happened."

"Daddy's not in trouble?" Kate seemed to relax when Erin shook her head.

"Nope. He's just talking with Detective Dawson for a bit, but he'll be back soon." Erin glanced down at her cell, awaiting a response from her partner. "And you know that Daddy and I would never hurt you, right?"

"Yes." Kate breathed, "You're my mommy and daddy. And you wouldn't hit me."

An hour later, Jay reached the Sierra, feeling like he had been chewed up and spat out. His conversation with Antonio made him feel better about the prospect of Pierce spending decades in a cell, but he was incredibly nervous to face his girls. Erin's text had indicated that Kate had been undoubtedly traumatized by the cross examination but had been further frightened after witnessing her father nearly punch out the defense attorney. Jay felt guilty and absolutely gutted that _he_ had been one to make his little girl afraid, something that he had been trying to prevent since the day he met her.

"Hey." Jay whispered hoarsely, opening the driver's side door and peering into the backseat of the pickup, "How's she doing?"

"Sleeping now," Erin murmured, still methodically running her fingers through Kate's hair as the little girl snoozed on her lap, "She's going to be okay, babe."

Jay sighed heavily and settled into the driver's seat. "Jury convicted him on all counts."

"That's great," Erin smiled, raising her eyebrows when Jay didn't reciprocate, "Why don't you look happy?"

"I made her cry, Er." Jay brought a hand to his face, "After everything she went through today, _I_ was the one that scared her the most."

"Oh, babe." Erin reached a hand out, trying not to disturb the sleeping child, "You had every right to be upset. If it wasn't you, it would have been me. You can't blame yourself for getting angry at Bowler. He's a piece of," she glanced down at Kate, who stirred slightly, " _crap._ "

"I know." Jay sighed again, gently toying with his girl's outstretched fingers, "I just feel so guilty."

"When we get home, I'm sure she'll be fine." Erin smiled softly, "Let's just get out of here, okay?"

* * *

Erin settled on the couch, Kate still asleep in her embrace, as Jay busied himself in the kitchen preparing an extremely late lunch or early dinner. The little girl slowly awoke to the noise from the television, a replay of the Blackhawks' game from the night before. "Mommy?" She mumbled, rubbing one eye, "We home?"

"Hi, baby, yes we're home." Erin kissed the top of her baby's head, "I bet you're hungry, huh?"

"Uh-huh," Kate replied, still resting against her mother, "Where's Daddy?"

"He's just making us lunch in the kitchen." Erin gently rubbed Kate's back, "I think he's making some turkey sandwiches."

"That sounds yummy." She sighed, relaxing into her mother's touch, "He's not mad, right?"

"Oh, no," Erin assured her, "Not at all."

"Hey, Squirt." Jay approached the couch slowly, "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Uh-huh." Kate lifted her head to look at her father, "You're not mad at me?"

Jay shook his head and swallowed thickly, taking a seat beside his girls. "No, I've never, ever been mad at you. And I'm sorry I scared you earlier. I was mad at Mr. Bowler for being such a," he paused, trying to find the right word to describe him, "bad man."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing further as Jay gently cupped her cheek, "I didn't want you to be in trouble."

"Nope, no trouble." Jay assured her, leaning forward to kiss her forehead and Erin's lips, "Are you up for a sandwich?"

"Yes!" Kate exclaimed, extending her arms so Jay could carry her. She held tightly around his neck, hugging her father close, "They gonna put Big Joe in jail?"

"Yes, they are." Jay confirmed, sliding a sandwich onto a plastic plate, "It looks like he's going to be there for quite some time."

* * *

 **P.S remember when I said this would be 30 chapters? I lied. Def gonna be more than that** **(also sorry if people were expecting sexytime in the last chapter, that is _not_ my strong suit haha)**


	25. Chapter 25

Following the trial in which Pierce was convicted, Kate appeared to be getting back to her old self. The pain from surgery had dissipated slightly and the little girl no longer flinched in the presence of people she knew around the district. While she was still shy around people she was unfamiliar with, Kate had opened up even more to her parents, Hank, Will, Platt and had even taken to Atwater, Ruzek, Burgess and Olinsky. The nightmares she endured seemed to be the same if not worse following the trial, the experience likely pushing the trauma to the surface.

"They're booking him for 10 to 15," Hank reported to Erin and Jay as were pouring cups of coffee in the breakroom. "Stone just called."

"Good." Jay stated, stirring his coffee, "I hope he rots there."

"Believe me, heading up to Statesville as a chomo isn't going to end well for him." Hank glanced at Erin, who appeared to be absent, "How did drop off for the first day back go?"

"Really well, actually." Erin told him, snapping out of her daze, "She was excited to go back and since her stomach's been better, we thought it was okay. I mean, she's only going to be there for a half day so she can come here and nap but it is way better than sleeping all day."

Jay nodded in agreement, "Oh, Er, you have a doctor's appointment, right?"

"Yeah." She turned to her sergeant, "I got a check up in the afternoon so I'll need a half day."

"No problem." Hank nodded, heading for his office.

"Jay." Erin caught her partner's arm, "Annie asked if I could meet up for a drink. Is it cool if I just meet you and Kate at home for dinner?"

"Of course, babe." Jay kissed her lips lightly before settling down behind his desk.

* * *

Erin had been distant all morning. Intelligence was working on a backlog of paperwork, which didn't require much attention, but she didn't even flinch at jokes made by Ruzek and Atwater and barely noticed when Jay refilled her mug of coffee. "You good, babe?" Jay asked when the bullpen was deserted for a moment and it was just the two of them.

She nodded in response. "Yeah, just tired." Jay raised his eyebrows in suspicion but didn't push her. Erin rose to fill her mug for the third time that day, leaving her partner concerned but worried still.

"Daddy! Mommy!" Kate bounded up the steps and hurried to her father's desk, where Jay was seated with outstretched arms. Platt waved to Jay after she saw the little girl reach her father and head back downstairs to manage the front desk.

"Hey Squirt! How was your day?" Jay grinned, holding the little girl tightly in his embrace, "Did you have fun?"

"Yes!" Kate exclaimed, leaning back on Jay's lap, "We learned about the arc-tic and the polar bears! Daddy, did you know that their fur is actually clear, not white?"

"Wow." Jay smiled, pressing a kiss atop her head, "So it was good to be back, hm?"

Kate nodded eagerly, "I go back tomorrow too?"

"Well, tomorrow is Saturday, but on Monday you will, okay?"

The little girl nodded again, hugging her father close again. "And my tummy doesn't hurt and I'm only a lil sleepy."

"That's great, Squirt." Jay stroked her head, "How about some lunch and then maybe a little nap?"

"Where's Mommy?" Kate lifted her head and glanced over to Erin's empty desk.

"She's getting coffee, I think." Jay informed her, "Do you want to go look for her?"

Kate nodded and slid off Jay's lap in search of her mother. She poked her head into the breakroom, where Erin was standing in front of the coffee machine, zoned out as it dripped into the pot. "Mommy?"

"Hey, baby!" Erin turned and smiled widely. She bent down and opened her arms, accepting Kate into a big hug, "Did you have a good day?"

"I learned a whole lot," Kate said, wrapping her small arms around Erin's neck, "And I'm not hurting."

"I'm so glad." Erin stood with her daughter in her arms, "Are you hungry?"

Kate shrugged, resting her head on Erin's shoulder. "How about a sandwich?" Jay asked, leaning in the doorway of the breakroom. "Maybe a grilled cheese, Squirt?"

"'kay," she mumbled, relaxing against her mother. Erin took a seat at the table with a fresh cup of coffee and smiled at her partner.

"I'll have a turkey club, babe. No-"

"No tomato, I got it." Jay winked and headed out. Kate closed her eyes and dozed lightly against her mother.

* * *

"I'm done with lunch," Kate leaned away from the table and pushed the sandwich from the edge.

"You've barely touched your food." Erin eyed Kate's meal, trying to calculate exactly how much she'd eaten. The carrot sticks and chips that Jay had sprinkled on the wax paper were all still there, along with most of the grilled cheese.

"I'm not hungry." Kate shrugged and then yawned. "And I'm sleepy."

"Can you eat three more bites?" Jay asked, having devoured his Rueben and was now picking chips off Kate's plate.

Kate did as she was told and set the sandwich down again. "Mommy?"

"Yes?" Erin glanced up from her crusts, placing them on the wrapping, "What's up, sweetheart?"

"Are you okay?" Kate asked quietly, glancing nervously up at the young detective. Jay widened his eyes. The little girl had picked up that something was off with her mother as well.

"Why?" Erin cocked her head to one side. "Do I look funny?"

"I can tell when you're not okay," Kate said honestly. "You're making me worried."

"I'm fine babes." Erin managed a smile, but Kate didn't return it.

"I can tell." Kate insisted as she searched her mother's eyes. "Is it because you gotta see a doctor?" The little girl widened her eyes. "Are you sick?"

"No, no, it's just a check up. Everything's okay, I'm just really tired." Erin patted her daughter's hand. "Please don't worry. Daddy and I both had long days yesterday, and we're still recovering."

"Okay." Kate said flatly, clearly not accepting what Erin had said. Jay continued to stare at his girl, now becoming increasingly worried about her. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking Erin if she was okay. She nodded and smiled as if to tell him to stop worrying, but the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Kate fell asleep in the breakroom shortly after Erin and Jay finished their lunch. While Erin headed out to her appointment, Jay went to catch up with a CI, leaving Kate with Grandpa Hank. He was still worried about his girl, who had hurriedly rushed out of the bullpen with just a quick kiss to both him and Kate.

* * *

Just as Jay had gotten his hopes up about potentially getting home early, Intelligence caught a crime scene downtown. He texted Erin about it but didn't receive a reply, ramping up his anxiety ten-fold. Even when she was busy, Erin made a point to respond to messages promptly. He called her cell, hoping to catch her leaving the doctor but was met with just her voicemail.

Hank determined that Intelligence had done all they could do that night and sent unit home with the caveat that they get to the district bright and early the next morning. After a whole evening of overtime, Jay trudged up the stairs to the bullpen to fetch Kate from the breakroom and head home. It was now the wee hours of the morning, and he was wiped. His cell phone chimed and he quickly fished it out of his pocket, hoping that it was Erin. Instead, it was a text message from Annie, saying that she had been at the restaurant waiting but had left because Erin hadn't shown up.

Jay's stomach dropped as he dialed his girl and received her voicemail again. A text came in a second later, this time from Erin. She claimed that she was at a bar with Annie and that cell service was spotty but that she would see him and Kate later. Jay felt his heart clench and palms go sweaty. Erin had _lied_ to him, something they promised that they would never do to each other. She clearly wasn't with Annie and something was up, but he didn't know what it was.

In hopes that he'd meet Erin at home, Jay carried Kate to the Sierra and drove to the apartment, glancing down at his phone every so often to see if she would respond to the text he sent; "call me when you get a chance."

"Daddy?" Kate mumbled, lazily opening her eyes as he attempted to unbuckle her once they had arrived at their apartment building, "What's happenin'?"

"Hi Squirt. We're home." Jay carefully maneuvered the little girl out of her seat and onto his shoulder. "You'll be in bed soon."

"Where's Mommy?" Kate murmured, opening her eyes a little wider and glancing around the parking garage as Jay headed for the elevator.

"She's meeting up with her old friend Annie. Don't worry, she'll be home really soon."

"Why do you look so worried?" Kate cocked her head slightly to the side, pulling back to get a better look at her father. He did indeed look worried, the wrinkles around his eyes more pronounced. Jay sighed, as he had forgotten just how perceptive his little girl could be.

"It's late, I'm just tired," Jay replied lamely, not wanting to lie to the little girl but also not wanting to tell her the full truth. After entering the apartment, he carried Kate to her bedroom and softly set her down on the bed.

"Can I wait for Mommy?" Kate whispered, her voice fading with tiredness.

"You need your sleep." Jay kissed her forehead and pulled the covers over her tiny body. "Goodnight Squirt, I love you." Jay quietly closed her bedroom door and headed for the kitchen. The microwave clock read 1:30 in neon green that was so bright it stung his eyes, illuminating the kitchen in an eerie green glow. After a slice of cold pizza, Jay decided he should go to bed and wait for Erin there. He didn't want the television to wake up Kate, so instead Jay stared up at the ceiling, listening to her heavy breathing through the baby monitor. Suddenly, he heard the door close and quiet footsteps enter into the apartment.

He could tell it was Erin by the familiar scent that flowed through the bedroom door as she undid her pony tail and slipped off her boots. Jay watched as the thin silhouette of his girl pulled her pajamas out of the bottom drawer, muffling her breathing by pressing her pajama top against her mouth. "Erin?" Jay quickly switched the light on to reveal his girlfriend, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Jay sat up, looking at Erin in shock. Her eyes were red and puffy, tears now gushing out of her eyes. "What is going on?" he asked tenderly, getting out of bed and wrapping his arms around her quivering frame.

"I can't," she stuttered, "I can't."

"You can't what, babe?" Jay kissed the top of her head, rubbing her goose bumped arms gently, "What's got you so upset?"

"I just can't." Erin burst into a fresh set of tears.

He led her to the bed and had her sit down on the edge of their mattress. Taking a seat next to her, he wiped her cheeks. "Take a few deep breaths, and then you can tell me what's going on, when you're ready."

"I lied," Erin wept, "I'm sorry."

"I know, babe, Annie texted me. She said you never made it to the restaurant." Jay continued to run his hands up and down her arms, "You've been off all day. What's going on?"

She shook her head violently, exploding into more sobs. "You'll hate me."

"Er, whatever you've got going on, you can tell me. I'm not going to hate you, I could _never_ hate you." He kissed her forehead gently and wiped more tears off her cheeks. Her partner's gentle touches only seemed to make Erin cry harder as she fought to find her words.

"I-I can't," Erin choked out, "I can't…"

"You can't what, babe?" Jay repeated, cupping her cheek with one hand and carefully wiping the constant stream of tears away with the pad of his thumb, "It's okay."

"I can't have a baby," she wailed, turning away from him and burying her face in her hands. Erin dissolved into sobs, barely able to keep her body upright on the bed. Jay leaned away as he processed what his girl had just told him before scooting closer to her and placing a gentle hand on her back.

While Erin continued to sob, Jay rubbed her back, slowly absorbing the news himself, "I'm so sorry, Erin," he said finally, once he found the words to speak, "I'm so sorry."

"I didn't even know I wanted it. And now that I can't, I-I-I-" More sobs erupted from her throat as she crumbled against her partner. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and brought her closer.

"Is that why you went to the doctor today?" Jay asked, tracing slow circles on her arm in an attempt to soothe her.

Erin nodded again, tears continuing to stream down her face. "After I had those bad cramps in Wisconsin I kn-new something was wrong with me. And I didn't want to tell you b-because I didn't want you to worry." She erupted into another round of broken sobs, "And then today the doctor she said it was probably because of all the crap I put into my body when I was a kid and I couldn't bear to f-face you because it's my fault!"

"I'm so sorry Erin." Jay repeated, pressing another kiss atop her head. He brought her impossibly closer, cupped her face with his hands and ran his thumbs across her cheeks. "This is not your fault, okay? Everything is going to be fine. All that matters is that you're healthy."

"I should be able to give you a family, Jay." Erin pulled back from his embrace, "I know you want kids and everything and I can't give you that."

Jay felt his heart clench, "Oh, babe," he breathed, bringing her in closer again despite her distress, "You've already given me a family. You brought Kate into our lives. You got that little girl to open up to us and you continually amaze me every day with how good a mom you are. Please don't think you not being able to carry a child means you can't have a family, because you already do."

Erin sagged against his chest with a sob, "I'm sorry," she whimpered, turning her face into his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize, babe." Jay rubbed her back delicately, "We are going to be okay. You and Kate are all the family I will ever need, I promise."

She sniffed, seeming to accept her partner's words but suddenly burst into tears again. "But-but what if this is a sign? What if I turn out to be a terrible mother? What if when she becomes a teenager she runs away or something terrible happens to her?"

Jay sighed, continuing his gentle ministrations. "Erin, you are an incredible mother. Kate loves you more than anything in the world, and she-"

"Mommy? Daddy?" A small voice called softly. Kate stood in the doorway to their bedroom, clutching Tiger in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other, "I heard Mommy crying."

Erin shuddered, her tears slowing down. "Oh, baby, I'm sorry I woke you up. I just had a bad day, that's all."

"Do you want to come snuggle for a bit, Squirt? Give Mommy some love, huh?" Jay asked, holding a hand out to the little girl. She nodded and clambered onto the bed, wrapping her small arms around Erin's neck.

"Why you crying Mommy?" Kate asked, settling in close to her mother. She tentatively reached up and brushed a tear off Erin's cheek, causing the woman to cry harder.

"Oh Kate." Erin pulled her little girl into her lap and cradled her against her shaking chest. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Mommy." Kate looked confused at her father, who just shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

Erin breathed in the scent of Kate's soft hair. "And you're never going to leave me, right baby? You're going to stay my little girl forever and ever."

"I never want to leave you," Kate yawned, snuggling in closer to her mother, "because you are the best mommy in the whole world."

"See, Er?" Jay smiled, "You're an amazing mom. And we can talk about this more in the morning, okay? But I think for now, you need to rest."

"I love you," Erin whispered tearfully, "I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry." Jay kissed her lips tenderly, pulling the comforter back and helping his girls snuggle in, "I love you too."

* * *

Erin awoke earlier than usual. Noticing it was five in the morning and she still had two hours until she was needed at work, she decided to go for a run.

Jay's exhausted figure lay sprawled across the bed, Kate pressed into his side. Both Halsteads had their mouths slightly agape and were breathing heavily, the occasional snore escaping Jay's lips. Erin smiled at their similarities before slipping into her running shoes and quietly escaping out the front door.

Kate rolled over, awoken by the front door closing. After a few minutes, she sat up and glanced around the bedroom. Her father was faintly snoring, but her mother was nowhere to be seen. Quietly, Kate climbed out of bed to search for Erin. "Mommy." She called out softly, peeking her head into the bathroom, kitchen and living room. "Mommy!"

When she spotted Erin's badge and phone still on the kitchen counter, Kate raced back into her parents' bedroom. "Daddy!" she whispered urgently. "Daddy, Mommy's gone."

He turned his head and blearily peered at his daughter. "What's going on?"

"Mommy's gone!" Kate cried, her eyes filling with tears. "Mommy left! She was crying last night and now she's gone!" She erupted into broken sobs.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Jay was fully awake now and pushed himself up on his forearms. "Breathe, Squirt. Mommy's probably just gone out for coffee or bagels."

"No!" Kate shrieked. "She's gone! She said she wasn't going to leave but she did!"

Quickly, Jay got out of bed and headed for the living room. "Her stuff is still here. She probably went for a run, look, her sneakers aren't here."

"She left it so we couldn't find her!" Kate was hysterical. Sobs wracked her body as she gasped to catch her breath. "She got sad so she left me!"

"Kate, sweetheart," Jay cooed, attempting to soothe the little girl. He lifted the frantic child in his arms and held her against his chest. "Mommy's coming back. You don't need to worry."

"No –hic- she said –hic- she wanted a baby and she –hic- can't so she's not coming back –hic- because she doesn't want me!" Kate wailed, leaving Jay stunned at the perception that the little girl had for other people's emotions. He hadn't realized that she had overheard his conversation with Erin that night, nor that she would put two and two together.

"Listen to me, Kate. Listen." Jay spoke calmly and clearly. "Mommy loves you more than anything in the world. She's going to be back in a few minutes, I promise."

"No!" Kate shouted and wriggled free of her father's grip. "You don't know! I'm not hers for real!" She turned for the door. "You have to get her! You have to go and bring her back!"

Jay picked up his child again, running his fingers through her hair. "Your mom and I love you so much. We're not going to leave you, ever."

"You don't understand!" Kate sputtered, pushing against Jay's chest. "You don't –hic- know!"

"What don't I know?" Jay was trying his best to remain calm as his daughter quivered in his arms. "Tell me."

"I'm not a b-baby! I'm not _hers!_ You and Mommy –hic- want someone who's –hic- both yours!" With that, Kate erupted into another round of sobs, burying her face in Jay's neck.

Just as Jay had found words to comfort his child, Erin quietly opened the front door and caught sight of her distraught daughter and bewildered partner. "What's going on?" she asked quickly, wiping the sweat off her forehead with her sleeve.

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure." Jay stroked his daughter's back. "Kate had a bit of a panic attack when she woke up and you weren't here."

"Oh, baby," Erin stepped toward her family, but Kate turned her head away.

"No," Kate spat, with as much venom as her shaking voice could muster. "Stop." Erin took a step back and exchanged glances with her partner.

"I think because you were upset last night, she thought you were going to leave," Jay explained. "Look, Squirt, Mommy's here. Everything's okay."

Erin's face softened, cheeks rosy from the mid-January chill. "I was just out for a run because I got up early. I wasn't leaving you. I would never..."

Kate still refused to look at her mother, hiccups wracking her small body as she clung desperately to Jay. "I'm going to go shower, and then we can talk about this, okay baby?" Erin squeezed her daughter's shoulder gently before retreating to the bathroom.

Jay sat on the sofa with Kate still in his arms. Her sobs had reduced to shudders, but a few tears still leaked out onto his shoulder. "I'm sorry Daddy," she whimpered, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, sweetheart." Jay wiped her tears away with his thumb. "Everything's going to be okay." He held her in his arms while his girl showered, listening to her soft breaths on his shoulder.

Erin emerged from the shower and sat next to her family on the couch. "Kate, baby, why are you so upset? You know I go for runs sometimes in the mornings. So does Daddy." She ran a hand over her daughter's head, exchanging worried looks with her partner.

The little girl shook her head, burying her face further into Jay's shoulder. "We need to talk about what just happened, kiddo," Jay said gently. "You were saying that you think we don't want you because you're not a baby?"

"Because I'm not both _yours._ " Kate mumbled. Erin's face fell at Kate's statement.

"Sweetheart, of course you are ours. You're our little girl." Erin reached out to touch her daughter's back. "You know that we love you. Where is all this coming from?"

Kate sniffed and turned her tear-streaked face toward her mother. "M-Mr. Bowler said because I'm not yours for real that you can leave me and never come back. And you said you want a baby."

"Ed Bowler? He doesn't know _anything._ " Erin looked at Jay and scowled. "Kate, just because I didn't give birth to you doesn't make you any less mine. Remember what we talked about with Dr. Handel? Daddy and I love you so much, and we're never going to leave you."

"See, Squirt? Everything's okay." Jay patted her back and smiled at Erin, hopeful that the worst was behind them.

"But you want a baby. You cried about a baby!" Kate looked to each of her parents expectantly.

Erin sighed. "The reason I cried is because the doctor told me my body couldn't naturally have a baby. I was just upset that I wouldn't get the chance."

"But you can! All sorts of mommies have babies in the hospital," Kate told her matter-of-factually. "I've read books."

"You've read books, huh?" Jay smiled. "Well, Mommy and I have a lot to think about when it comes to getting you a little brother or sister, but no matter where they come from, they will never replace you, got it?"

Kate nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I-I just got worried when you cried and left. I didn't want Mommy to leave." She explained, appearing nervous now that she thought she was in trouble, "I-I didn't mean to yell."

"I know. And it's okay, sweetheart. I bet Mommy is looking for a hug though." Jay glanced at his girlfriend who nodded.

Kate looked up at her mother with wet, swollen eyes and extended her arms so that Erin could hold her in her lap. "I love you Kate, don't ever forget that."

"You'll love me even when I'm terrible?" Kate rested her head on Erin's chest, holding tight to the woman who loved her and chose to raise her as her own.

"Even when you're terrible. Not that you've ever been terrible in the slightest." Erin kissed the top of Kate's head, "You are absolutely, one-hundred-percent perfect and I love you."

"I'm sorry for crying," Kate whispered, snuggling in closer to her mother. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay to cry baby." Erin stroked the little girl's cheek. "We love you no matter what."

"Now, let me check your tummy to make sure your incision is okay." Jay lifted up Kate's pajama top. "It looks a little aggravated but should calm down soon enough. Let's take your medicine, sound good?"

Kate nodded and allowed her mother to carry her into the kitchen. "I love you Mommy." She whispered into her ear.

"I love you more." Erin whispered back, kissing her little girl on the cheek.

* * *

 **FYI may take me a little longer in between chapters - work is crazy! Let me know what you think!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Please read the little author's note at the end! Enjoy!**

A shrill scream drew Erin from her comfortable position sleeping on her boyfriend's chest to her little girl's bedroom door. Kate appeared to be caught in a vicious nightmare as she struggled against the sheets, emitting another screech that finally woke her up. "Kate, baby," Erin cooed, quickly making her way through the door and to her child's bed, "It's okay, you're okay, it was just a dream."

Kate erupted into sobs, cowering backwards amidst the tangled bedsheets, pressing herself against the headboard. "It's just Mommy, you're okay," Erin held a hand out to the shaking little girl, "You're okay, baby."

Kate lifted her head slightly and regarded her mother with heavy-lidded eyes. "M-Mommy?" She whispered, carefully holding the hand Erin extended, "I-It wasn't real?"

Erin shook her head, "No, no, just a dream." She smiled softly despite her exhaustion, taking in the appearance of her little girl, "Oh, sweetheart, you're soaked." The poor child was drenched in sweat from her nightmare, the polar bear pajamas clinging to her small body in wet patches.

"I-I'm sorry," Kate wept, shivering in her damp pajamas, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I was already awake," Erin assured her, although she had most definitely been asleep, "Can we get you changed into some dry pajamas and then you can come snuggle with me and Daddy?"

Kate nodded, and allowed her mother to help her change into some pink and white striped pajamas. "Daddy's sleepin?" Kate asked while Erin pulled the top over her head.

"Mm-hm, but I know he'd still love a kiss from you." Erin hoisted the little girl onto her hip, picked up both Tiger and Lion and carried her baby to her bed, where Jay was stirring slightly.

"There are my two favorite girls," Jay smiled tiredly as he saw Erin enter the bedroom with his daughter in her arms, "Are you okay, Squirt?"

"I-I had a bad dream." Kate whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around her father when Erin passed her off, "It was _really_ bad."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sweetheart." He kissed the side of her small head and settled her against his chest, pulling Erin closer to them as well, "Do you think spending some time with us will help?"

"Uh-huh," Kate replied, already dozing slightly, snuggled in between her parents, "I always feel safer when I'm with you guys."

Jay softly threaded his fingers through Erin's hair as she shifted closer to her partner, "Sleepy, babe?"

"Mm," Erin replied, closing her eyes as Jay's gentle ministrations relaxed her, "Rough one, but resolved quickly."

"I can't wait until he's finally behind bars. Maybe then she'll sleep easier," Jay mused, staring up at the ceiling while Erin drifted off. Kate had been with them for six and a half months. While it had been two and a half since her abduction and six weeks since her emergency surgery, Kate was still paranoid from the experience. The nightmares had gotten slightly better, but after she was forced to testify in front of 'Big Joe', they seemed to return at full force.

Intelligence had been coordinating with NYPD trying to apprehend Paul Jackson and his associate Sarah Harding, but he proved to be a savvy and experienced criminal. Jay was convinced that once he was behind bars, his little girl would sleep easier, as would he.

* * *

"Halstead." Jay picked up his cell as he walked toward the Sierra, two reusable grocery bags in one hand. Hank decided that a trip to the aquarium with him and his granddaughter was long overdue, so it was just going to be Jay and Erin tonight for dinner. He had a special meal in mind, but a CI had called Erin as they were leaving the district, so he would be cooking alone. "Hello?" He asked into the receiver.

"Detective Jay Halstead." The man's voice on the other end of the call sounded slippery and evil as he emphasized the ds.

"Speaking." Jay replied, placing the grocery bags in the backseat, "Who is this?"

"I think you know who this is." The man said. Jay felt his blood run cold.

"Well, let's pretend that I don't." He said curtly, "Who is this?"

"I'm the man who keeps you up at night."

Jay swallowed, realizing who was on the other end of the call, "What do you want, Jackson? Why are you calling me?"

Paul Jackson snickered, "I'm just reminding you that the situation you have with my girl is only temporary, but you knew that. I'm coming for her."

"Yeah, right." Jay grit his teeth, "When I find you, I'm going to kill you for what you did to my daughter."

"I'd like to see you try," Jackson hissed, "Speak soon." Jay slammed his hand on the steering wheel, the car eliciting a sharp beep.

"Fuck." Jay ignited the car and headed back for the district.

Jay bounded up the steps two at a time, not bothering to shed his coat as he sank down in front of his computer to set about tracking the number Jackson called from. He tapped the desk impatiently as he waited for the call to triangulate. When his cell rang, he immediately picked it up.

"Jay?" Erin asked, "You there?"

"I'm here." Jay choked out, still waiting for the computer to find Jackson's cell, "What's up?"

"Are you okay?" Erin could tell something was wrong without even looking at her partner.

"I'm fine," Jay replied curtly, "What is it?"

"Well, I'm home, waiting for you." Erin paused, "Are you coming?"

"Oh, um, I forgot to call. I-I gotta talk to this CI of mine," Jay closed his eyes, knowing full well that he was lying through his teeth, "I may be back late."

"Okay?" Erin seemed skeptical, "Babe. Are you sure you're okay? You sound like you've been running."

"I'm fine. I gotta go." Jay hung up the phone as the computer chimed, indicating that it found a location on Jackson's phone. He scribbled it down on a piece of paper and raced out the door, intent on finding the man who abused his little girl and bringing him to justice.

* * *

Erin sat on the couch, nervously sipping a beer and working on a cold slice of pizza from the night before. Something about Jay was completely off and she was worried. When she had left him at the district, he seemed fine, bragging about the ragu he was making that he claimed would 'blow her _freaking_ mind'. Now that it was later in the evening and Kate was tucked in bed, she was consumed with anxiety. They had promised to always be honest with one another, and though she hadn't told the truth following her doctor's appointment, the following morning they re-emphasized their commitment to honesty.

At midnight, Erin comforted Kate through a nightmare and headed to bed, now decidedly pissed off that her boyfriend wasn't answering her text messages. She shed her clothes and slipped on a shirt of her own, too annoyed at Jay to rifle through his drawers for something more comfortable. She slid under the covers and stared up at the ceiling, counting the tiny cracks until she fell asleep.

It was three in the morning when Jay stumbled through the apartment door. He traced Jackson's phone to dingy motel on the South Side, left atop a garbage can. Defeated and enraged, Jay drove back to the district, intent on finding some kind of traffic camera in the area that may have picked up the criminal. After two hours of searching and turning up empty handed, Jay drove home. He parked the car in the garage and went across the street for a drink to clear his mind. Multiple shots later (he lost count), he finally remembered why he was so angry in the first place. He had a child and a woman who loved him, waiting for him back home.

It was the old Jay who got drunk alone in bars, gutted by memories and the stress of the job. It was the old Jay who had nobody waiting for him back home, who could stay out until sunrise and sleep until the later afternoon. But that Jay was long gone, and the current Jay was grateful to have a family to come home to. As quietly as his drunk self was able, Jay pushed open the apartment door and crept toward the couch. He knew Erin was probably asleep, so he crashed in the living room, not bothering to untie his boots.

* * *

Two hours later, Erin rolled over and blearily reached her arm out, expecting to find the warm body of her partner. Instead, she felt cool sheets against her fingertips, instantly waking her up. She sat up and glanced around, Jay nowhere in sight. Erin quickly shed the blankets and padded across the living room to check on her little girl but stopped before she reached the door, taking note of the figure on her couch.

Sprawled out across the cushions was her boyfriend, lying on his stomach with his face mushed against Giraffe, who didn't make it to bed with Kate. His boots were still on and had left a muddy puddle in their wake, a result of half melted snow and Chicago street grit. As Erin leaned closer, she caught a strong whiff of alcohol and grimaced. "Jay," she hissed, shaking his shoulder urgently, "Jay, wake up."

The hungover detective lifted his head and cracked open an eye to see his girlfriend standing above him, looking none too pleased. "Hey," he croaked, "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"Christ, Jay, you smell like Herrmann used you to wipe the floor at Molly's." Erin wrinkled her nose, "Can you please bathe before Kate gets up?"

Jay staggered to his feet and stumbled forward, but Erin stepped back so he wouldn't touch her, "We can talk about what happened to you when you're not still drunk." She frowned and turned on her heel for her daughter's room.

Kate was sleeping peacefully on her back, Tiger and Lion nestled safely in her arms. Erin smiled and carefully crawled into bed beside the little girl, hoping to get a few more hours of rest before Kate woke up. Hank had _exhausted_ his granddaughter at the aquarium, afterwards taking her for burgers and ice cream. She had been asleep on his shoulder when Hank knocked on the door and didn't even fully wake up when she had a nightmare.

* * *

While Jay slept off his hangover, Erin and Kate ventured into Chicago to do errands. Erin had no desire to have it out with Jay just yet and was making a point to steer clear of the apartment until she had cooled down herself. When Kate asked why Jay was still in bed, Erin told her that he wasn't feeling well, which wasn't untrue but was definitely not the whole truth. She _hated_ having to lie to the brilliant little girl, but she didn't exactly know how to tell a four year old that her father was egregiously hungover and didn't come home until the wee hours of the morning.

Erin and Kate returned to the apartment after a trip to the grocery store, anticipating that they would make homemade pizza for dinner. Jay was sitting on the couch watching a hockey game when Erin pushed the door open, arms full of bags. "Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, carefully setting the bag she had been tasked with carrying on the ground. She rushed to the couch and into Jay's arms, "You feelin' better?"

"Much better, now that you're here." Jay hugged her tightly and breathed in the scent of her shampoo, "Did you and Mommy have a good day?"

"We did er-ins," Kate informed him, "So we can make pizza for dinner."

"Mm." Jay kissed the top of her head, "That sounds delicious." He glanced over at Erin, who was busying herself by putting away the groceries, "You know what, Squirt? I have to chat with Mommy about work, so do you think you could go get started on a Lego castle in your room? I'll be there in a bit to help, okay?"

"Okay." Kate looked skeptical but slid off Jay's lap and headed for her bedroom. Jay reluctantly made his way to the kitchen, stopping by the breakfast bar.

"Hey," he managed, his girlfriend still rearranging the fridge, "We should talk."

Erin whipped around, closing the door and folding her arms across her chest. "Yeah, we should." She eyed him, still obviously angry, "What the hell happened to you last night?" He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, "And I saw the Sierra in the parking garage, so I hope to God you didn't _drive_ last night."

"I didn't," Jay said quickly, "I, uh, the drinking came after." Erin raised her eyebrows and leaned back against the fridge in anticipation. "When I was in the parking lot yesterday, I got a phone call from an unknown number." He glanced toward Kate's room and lowered his voice. "It was Paul Jackson."

"What?" Erin hissed, eyes wide, "He _called_ you?"

Jay nodded, "And um, I tracked his cell. I mean, it was a burner, but he left it in trash can outside a motel on the south side."

"You _tracked_ it?" Erin was positively fuming, "And you went to go find him, _alone_? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"I wasn't thinking," Jay replied hurriedly, "And he wasn't there. So I went back to the district to go over traffic cam footage. And then I drove home."

"And then you took a bath in scotch?" Erin quipped, "Jay, we have _partners_ for a reason. For backup. And I am _your_ partner," she poked him in the shoulder with force, "At work, and at home."

"I know, babe, and I'm sorry." He emphasized, "I-I was just so angry that I couldn't come home. And so I walked to a bar, the one down the street. It was stupid and-"

"Jay, you getting drunk is the least of my worries right now. You could have gotten yourself killed!" Tears filled Erin's eyes but she fought to keep them back, "What would I have done if anything had happened to you, huh? What about Kate?" She brought a hand up to her face, "Please, just, go be with Kate for a little while. She's been asking about you all day and I told her you were sick."

Jay reached a hand out to touch her shoulder but Erin pulled back. "Please, Jay. Not now." She turned and headed for the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

* * *

Instead of homemade pizza, Jay ordered Thai food because he didn't have the heart to cook. He and Kate sat on the floor building a castle while Erin took a long shower. When the dinner arrived, Kate helped set the table and sat patiently, waiting for her parents to join her. She could sense the tension in the apartment and was becoming increasingly worried.

Erin emerged from the bathroom, face pink from the steaming hot shower. As the family ate in silence, Erin barely glanced at Jay. "Are you not hungry?" Jay asked Kate as she twisted noodles around a fork. "You've barely had two bites."

"And you didn't finish your sandwich at lunch either." Erin brought up, looking anxiously at her daughter, still avoiding Jay's gaze.

"I'm okay," Kate said, keeping her eyes focused on the plastic plate and the many noodles that were still there.

"You promise to tell us if you don't feel good?" Jay reached out to stroke Kate's hand, but she shoved it into her lap and nodded. "Alright, why don't you brush your teeth and start getting ready for bed?"

Wordlessly, Kate got up from the table and headed for the bathroom. When she heard the water running, Erin turned to her partner. "She knows something up."

"I gathered that much," Jay scoffed, taking a piece of uneaten broccoli of Kate's plate. "She obviously knows that you're pissed at me."

"I'm not pissed at you!" Erin raised her voice, but lowered it quickly. "I'm frustrated. I just don't know why you didn't tell me that you were going to find Jackson. I didn't know what to tell Kate when she asked about you, because I didn't know myself! How do you expect me to react, Jay? Just sit here and pretend it's fine that you went after a criminal and didn't tell me? And the fact that you won't talk to me about it?"

"Your being stressed out is stressing Kate out," Jay stated, growing frustrated with his partner.

"Don't you think I know that?" Erin hissed. "She hasn't been eating because she's brilliant and can sense the tension between us. And how can I not be stressed out when my partner doesn't come home and then tells me he sought out a criminal without backup?"

Jay sighed and ran his hands over his forehead. "Look. I'm sorry I went after Jackson without backup. I'm sorry I came home late last night and I'm sorry I made you worry. Next time, I'll talk to you, okay?"

Erin exhaled, still reeling. "That's all I ask." She stood, gathered the plates and placed them in the sink. She rested her hands on the counter and leaned over, lost in thought, before Jay wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear and kissed her neck gently.

She spun around and cupped his scruffy face with her cool hands. "Don't you dare scare me like that again."

"I won't." He ran his hand over the back of Erin's head. "I really am sorry. I wasn't thinking," he paused when Erin raised her eyebrows, "Well, I was thinking, but only that I wasn't going to let that bastard anywhere near my girls."

"Oh yeah?" Erin pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I carry a gun, Jay. We work in the same department."

"It's not that you can't handle yourself," Jay rushed out, "It's that…he has caused so much pain to my family, I couldn't bear the thought of him ever laying a hand on you." He blinked, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes, "He hurt Kate, so badly."

"I know, babe." Erin wrapped her arms around her partner's neck, "And we're gonna get him. But we're going to do it with backup, okay?"

Jay nodded and kissed his girl's lips, "I'm sorry again."

"Mm, this helps," Erin giggled, locking her lips with his again, "You can apologize in earnest tonight."

"Mommy? Daddy?" Kate's voice battled the noise of the bathroom fan. "I need you!"

The couple pulled apart and raced into the bathroom to find Kate standing on her bathroom stool with her pajama shirt pushed up to her armpits. Her toothbrush was lying in the sink while she wore a frightened look. "I-I was just brushing my teeth and I bent down and I noticed that…" Kate trailed off, pointing to her stomach that had gotten swollen and irritated. "I-I don't know what happened." She was close to tears.

"Are you in pain?" Jay knelt down next to her and examined her stomach. It had healed considerably in the weeks since the surgery, and while the outside stitches were long gone, the abdominal rifts were still healing.

The little girl shrugged her shoulders, tears now spilling over her cheeks. "Damn," Erin muttered, also crouching down. "Jay, I think it's a combination of stress and lack of food."

He sat back on his shins. "You haven't eaten much today, have you Squirt?"

The little girl shook her head, tears streaming down. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Erin stroked her hair. "I think your meds are too powerful to be taken without a good amount of food and we didn't eat enough today. Do you think you can try to eat a little bit more?" The little girl nodded tearfully and allowed her father to carry her back into the kitchen.

Kate visibly relaxed in Jay's lap as the family sat back down. The tension that hung in the air had dissipated significantly and Erin smiled warmly at her partner. "Better, baby?" She asked Kate after a few minutes, who nodded in response, munching on a piece of chicken.

"I feel better," Kate murmured, growing tired in Jay's embrace. She glanced at her mother. "You guys aren't worrying me anymore."

"We were worrying you?" Jay asked, shooting a look to Erin. "What do you mean?"

"You were sad and Mommy was so worried," Kate mumbled, her eyes closing. "I got worried and when I'm worried I'm not hungry."

"Well, you don't have anything to worry about now, okay Squirt?" Jay kissed the top of his little girl's head. She nodded in response, closing her eyes again.

Erin accepted her sleepy daughter from her partner's arms and carried her toward the bathroom. "Let's brush your teeth and get you into bed."

"Do you get scared?" Kate asked as her mother slipped her into bed.

"Sometimes." Erin sat down on the bed and tucked the covers around her little girl. "Sometimes I get scared when I can't see Daddy when we're working. Or when you got sick, I was really scared. Why? Are you scared, baby?"

Kate nodded her head. "I get really scared of the bad men." She shuddered, "But I don't want to be." She looked away sadly. "But every time I try to be brave when I'm scared my tummy hurts and I don't want to be alone."

"Oh, babes." Erin stroked Kate's cheek. "It's okay to be scared sometimes. And you know that whenever you're hurting Daddy and I want you to come get us, no matter what. It doesn't mean you're not brave. You've been through a lot and you're only four." She looked lovingly at her daughter. "Please don't be worried about being brave. Daddy and I will keep you safe, okay?"

Kate nodded. Erin kissed Kate's forehead. "Good night baby, sweet dreams. I love you."

"I love you too." Kate whispered, slowly succumbing to sleep.

Erin quietly closed the door to Kate's bedroom and padded to the couch where Jay was seated. She settled herself beside him, draping her legs over his lap and nestling her head against his chest. "We're going to get him, you know," she murmured, pressing her lips against his neck, "And she's going be okay."

Jay nodded, gently toying with her hair, "I know. I'm sorry, again. I-I just-"

"Shh, babe." Erin cupped his face with one hand, placing her thumb over his lips, "It's okay. You're okay, Kate's okay and we're going to get through this. Together."

He nodded again, resting his head against hers, "I was thinking, that, um, maybe I should start going more regularly to those veteran support groups. Just since, uh, things got a bit out of control last night and I've just been thinking all day that if God forbid I had hurt you, or Kate-"

"Jay," Erin cut him off again, "If that is what you need to do, you have my full support." She kissed his lips, "And I know how hard this has been for you and if talking to people is what you need, then you should do it."

"I-I guess I just miss Mouse," Jay said honestly, starting to thread his fingers through Erin's hair again, "I mean, he and I went through everything together. And when he left, we got Kate and everything else sorta took a backseat. But now that we're settled and things are finally getting to a normal, I just don't want to disappoint you again."

Erin felt her heart clench, "We all make mistakes, babe. Trust me." She shuddered slightly at the rough patch she hit after losing Nadia, "And you are an amazing dad, okay?" Erin shifted and stood, extending her hand out to her partner, "Now, take me to bed, Halstead." Her eyes twinkled as she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Jay grinned and swept his girl off her feet, carrying her toward the bedroom.

* * *

 **Hi! So I have _loved_ writing this story but it is coming to a close in the next few chapters. That being said, I have been inspired by a couple of reviews to continue it with a few single-stories (potentially as Kate grows up and how Erin and Jay grow their family). I do plan on starting this soon although it may take some time. I also haven't decided if it would be within this story or on a separate one, but anyway, I would LOVE some requests! Let me know what you want to see and if I can make 'em happen I'll def give you credit!  
**


	27. Chapter 27

**Let me know what you think!**

Over the next week, the Intelligence Unit focused all their attention on trying to locate Jackson and any of his known associates. Hank had been furious that Jay went after Jackson without backup, and Erin was thankful Kate hadn't been in the office to witness her grandfather nearly smack her father for being so careless. Erin could have felt bad for her partner, who seemed have his tail between his legs all week, but no matter how hard she tried, she was still a little bit annoyed that Jay had gone off to confront Jackson without even telling her.

"So, when do you think Voight's gonna stop punishing me?" Jay turned to Erin as they sat in the Sierra, waiting outside a dodgy bar in hopes of running into Sarah Harding or if they were lucky, Paul Jackson.

Erin raised her eyebrows, "Not sure. I haven't made up my mind yet, either."

Jay looked at her incredulously, "I thought I more than apologized to you last night! For like the millionth time."

She smiled mischievously, recalling the fun night they had. "Well, you're going to have to keep making it up to me until I say so. Why do you think _I'm_ driving right now?"

"Because you're still a little mad at me." Jay sighed and leaned back against the seat, defeated, "Fine. It doesn't look like he's here, anyway."

"Hank willl be pissed if we just leave." Erin took a sip of her coffee and continued to stare at the door to the bar.

"I know, but Platt definitely brought Kate to the district already and plus I'm starving." Jay looked down at his cell phone, "Oh great, Ruzek said he's hanging out with her. If we don't get back soon, there's no telling how much damage he'll have done."

"Are you whining?" Erin flashed a grin at her partner and rolled her eyes. Jay sat back and huffed, folding his arms across his chest. When Erin's phone dinged, he perked up instantly.

"Please tell me we can leave," he begged, widening his eyes and giving a boyish smile when Erin nodded, "Thank _God._ "

"I swear, sometimes I wonder who the four year old is in our family." Erin scoffed, pulling the Sierra onto the street and heading for the district.

* * *

Jay and Erin ascended the steps to the bullpen, bearing sandwiches for lunch. "I'm so hungry," Jay informed Erin, who was a pace or two behind him, "Like, so hungry I could eat five of these sandwiches."

Erin rolled her eyes and looked around the office, but didn't see her daughter. "Kim, where's Kate?"

"Oh, I think Ruzek took her to the vending machine or something." Burgess shrugged, cheeks turning slightly pink. She sat behind her desk and busied herself quickly, leaving Erin vaguely confused as to why the young officer would be embarrassed.

"I hope he didn't give her a red bull or anything," Jay said, setting the bag of sandwiches on his desk and shedding his coat, "I feel like that's something he would do."

"Mommy! Daddy!" Kate came up the stairs, Ruzek a few paces behind.

"Hi baby." Erin knelt down and wrapped her little girl in her arms, "Did you have fun at school?"

Kate nodded eagerly, "I learned about pe-gwins today!"

"Wow." Erin kissed her baby's cheek, "Daddy and I brought sandwiches, how does that sound?"

"Good." Kate smiled and looked around the room for her father, "Daddy!"

"There's my little squirt." Jay lifted his daughter and placed her on his hip after giving her a hug, "Was Ruzek nice to you?"

Kate giggled, "Yes! He let me taste root beer and it was _so bad._ " She wrinkled her nose at the memory, "I did not like it."

Jay shot a look over to the young officer, who put his hands up in the air, "I thought kids like root beer!" He exclaimed, "Not my fault she doesn't like it."

"Four year olds shouldn't drink soda, Ruzek," Erin informed him, taking the bag of sandwiches off her partner's desk and heading for the breakroom, "I swear if you ever have a girlfriend again I'm going to warn her…"

"I think Woo-zek and Off-cer Kim are girl-friends." Kate told her father, who stopped walking to the breakroom and regarded his little girl in surprise. Ruzek had snapped his head up at the mention of his name. Kim also lifted her head from the paperwork she was doing.

"What makes you think that, kiddo?" Jay asked, raising his eyebrows at the younger man, who was rapidly turning pink.

"Cause he axi-denly called Off-cer Kim _babe._ " She smiled sweetly at Ruzek, not noticing how the heat was rising in his cheeks.

"What?" Ruzek exclaimed, "I did not."

Kate turned to him, "You said you thought you were talking to me, but nobody calls _me_ babe. Only Mommy calls me baby." She flashed a grin at her mother, "And Mommy and Daddy call each other _babe_."

Erin looked at Kim incredulously, while Atwater burst out laughing, "Out of the mouths of babes." He chuckled, patting Ruzek on the back.

"It was a reflex," Kim rushed out, Adam still in too much shock to respond.

"I thought we talked about how it was a secret," Ruzek croaked, unable to be angry at the cute little girl on Jay's hip, "And that you weren't going to tell anybody."

"Mommy and Daddy aren't _anybody_ ," Kate told him, "And I don't have to keep secrets from them." She smiled up at Jay and then to Erin, "Right?"

"That's right, Squirt." Jay kissed the top of her head, "No secrets."

"You're lucky she's so cute!" Ruzek called after them, earning an unsavory gesture from Erin.

* * *

"Daddy?" Kate looked up at her father from her seat in his lap. There was a Blackhawks versus Penguins game on television and Jay was intently watching the close match.

"Mm?" Jay tilted his head down so he could see his little girl, who was peering expectantly at him, "What's up, Squirt?"

Kate wrinkled her brow slightly, "You 'member how I told you and Mommy 'bout Woo-zek callin' Off-cer Kim babe?"

"Mm-hm, that was just this afternoon." Jay smiled, running a hand over his daughter's hair, still slightly damp from her bath earlier in the evening.

"And even though that was a secret, it was okay that I told you cause you're my daddy?"

"Yep." Jay nodded, "You can tell me anything, you know that, right? No matter what."

"Cause I can always be honest?" Kate asked.

"Yep." Jay confirmed, placing a kiss atop her head.

"And you won't be mad?" Kate pressed, appearing slightly nervous.

"Not if you're being honest, kiddo," Jay promised, "Do you have something to tell me?"

Kate nodded slowly, "But you won't be mad at me?"

"No, no," Jay assured her, a nervous pit forming in his stomach. He had no idea what the little girl was about to tell him, but judging by the anxiety radiating off her, it wasn't going to be good. He wished Erin was here, but she had left the game after the first third to take a shower and he could still hear the water running. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

She took a deep breath. "Today after Sergeant Platt picked me up from school, I was sittin' behind the desk with Off-cer Garcia, cause Sergeant Platt had a very 'portant phone call," Kate began, gripping Tiger and Lion tighter, "And a man came into the district, looking for _you._ "

Jay felt his blood run cold. "Did you recognize the man?" He asked, suddenly nervous that Jackson may have sent one of his associates to intimidate him and saw that Kate was at the district.

Kate shook her head, "He said his name was Pat _Halstead._ And that he was looking for his _son._ " She looked up at her father nervously, "And I didn't know what to say so I ducked and Off-cer Garcia saw Woo-zek and told me to go hang out with him. And then he said he would tell you 'bout the man but then he got a 'portant call so he didn't get to." She let out a breath, "Was that _your_ daddy?"

Jay nodded slowly, taking in what his daughter had just told him. His father came by the district? Looking for him? The man he barely spoke to and only saw briefly on Thanksgiving? "Um, yeah, that's my dad."

"Are-are you mad at me?" Kate tensed up in his lap, "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but he said he was a _secret_ and not to tell you but Off-cer Garcia said he would but-"

"I'm not mad, kiddo, I promise," Jay assured her, "Thank you for telling me. I know Officer Garcia got called across town which is probably why he didn't get a chance to find me."

The little girl visibly relaxed. "How come I never met your dad before?" she asked, glancing curiously at her father, who was still reeling from the fact that _his_ father dropped by the district unannounced. Jay didn't even know that his dad knew where he worked.

"Uh, well, I don't really talk to my dad anymore," Jay replied after a moment, "He and I don't really get along."

Kate furrowed her brow, "Like Mommy and the Bunny?"

Jay grimaced slightly, "Um, a little bit like Mommy and Bunny. But my dad and Uncle Will still see each other from time to time and he's not a bad guy, we just have a really um, complicated relationship." He watched as his daughter slowly processed the information she had been given.

"What 'bout your mommy?" Kate asked quietly, searching her father's blue eyes for a hint about his past.

He sighed softly, trying to figure out a way to talk to his little girl about his late mother and his jackass of a father without lying but also not giving her the full scope of the drama. "Well, my mom passed away a few years ago. Just after I got back from Afghanistan. So she's in heaven now, but I know she would have really liked you." Jay smiled wistfully, remembering the kind woman who raised him.

Kate gently placed a comforting hand on her father's arm, "Was she sick? Like Erin's almost-mommy?"

Jay nodded, glancing down at the tiny fingers on his forearm. His daughter's mature mannerisms never ceased to amaze him. He smiled sadly at how she referred to Camille, "Yes, she was sick. When I got home, she was really sick and it was really hard to see her like that." Jay swallowed thickly, "And my dad, uh, he wasn't much help."

She nodded as he spoke, moving her small hand up and down his forearm, "And you were hurting, too." Kate looked up at her father with knowing eyes. He raised his eyebrows, unsure of what she was getting at while she cuddled closer. "One time, back when you first got me and I still called you Jay, you told me that when you got back from 'fgan-is-tan, you were really scared. And if your mommy _died_ when you were scared, I bet it hurt really bad."

Jay nodded, again swallowing hard and trying to stop the tears from forming in his eyes. How his four year old could piece together everything he went through after returning home from the snippets of anecdotes he told her absolutely shocked him. "You're right," he managed, "It did hurt."

"I'm sorry if I made you sad." Kate said hurriedly, realizing how upset her father had gotten, "I-I didn't mean to."

"Oh, no, sweetheart." Jay shook his head, "It's okay. I'm glad you asked about my parents. It-it was just a tough time to remember, but don't worry." He forced a smile for the little girl's sake.

Kate nodded in understanding, "It hurts to 'member sometimes."

"It does." Jay mused, lost in his own thought. He snapped back to reality once he remembered that his sweet child had gone through an even worse time than he had, "But it helps to talk about the hard memories." He paused, "You know how on Tuesdays, you and Mommy come home before me?"

"Uh-huh." Kate looked up at him curiously, "Cause you gotta meeting."

"That's right." Jay nodded, "And the reason I go to those meetings is because there are people there who hurt the same as me."

"People from 'fgan-is-tan?" Kate widened her eyes.

"Some people fought in Afghanistan, but there are others who fought wars in Iraq or Europe or Asia. It's a support group," Jay explained, "And it helps to hear about other people so you know you're not alone." He smoothed Kate's hair back, "And mommy and I, and Uncle Will and Sergeant Platt and Grandpa Hank, we're your support group. And that means that if you're feeling scared from something you remember, you can always come to us and we'll help you." Jay brushed her cheeks softly with the pad of his thumb.

Kate smiled softly but then looked nervous, "Do I gotta talk 'bout it now?"

"Whenever you're ready," Jay said, "Whenever you feel that you can, I'll be here to listen, I promise."

"Okay." Kate nodded, leaning in closer to her father. "I didn't tell your daddy who I was," she murmured, "Cause I wasn't sure if he was lyin' or if he was good."

Jay cleared his throat, "Well, um, he's okay. And I guess you could meet him. If you want. I mean, to be honest with you, I haven't told him about you. And I actually haven't told him about Mommy, for that matter." Jay paused, as the shower had ceased running and he hoped that Erin would be out soon so she could join the conversation. "But we can talk about it, if it's something you'd like."

Kate shrugged her shoulders, still smoothing her palm over Jay's arm. "I just didn't want to have secrets from you."

"I'm glad you told me, Squirt." Jay kissed the top of her head, "And I'm glad you asked about my mom. I really wish she could have met you."

"She sounds nice," Kate mused, "I bet she'd like Mommy, too."

Jay chuckled, "I think you're absolutely right."

* * *

Jay was grateful when Erin emerged from the shower so that he could tell her about his father's trip to the district. Like Jay, she reiterated to Kate how it was okay to tell them anything, no matter what. Kate appeared to be incredibly relieved after telling her parents, and was now sleeping comfortably between the two adults on the couch. Neither Jay or Erin had the heart to move the sleeping child, so the family cuddled together while the Blackhawks went into overtime.

"You okay, babe?" Erin asked after the Blackhawk goalie made an incredible save and Jay didn't even flinch. While it looked like he was watching the game, his mind was miles elsewhere.

"Mm," he replied, running a hand over the back of her head, "Just thinking," he swallowed, "about my mom."

Erin reached up and cupped his unshaven face with her cool palm, "You don't really talk about her much."

Jay smiled sadly, lightly stroking his girl's hair, "Kate reminds me a lot of her actually. Strong. Kind. Brave." He sighed wistfully, "She would have _loved_ you."

"Please." Erin scoffed, "I know from experience that mothers aren't exactly my biggest fans. My own mother barely cared enough to keep a roof over our heads."

"Er." Jay moved his hand from the back of her head to under her chin so that she would meet his gaze. "I'm not telling you that because it's something you'd want to hear. I mean it. My mom would have been crazy about you. Shocked that a girl actually wanted to hang around my psycho family." Erin looked away, heat slowly rising in her cheeks, "Babe, those mothers were plain stupid for not loving you. Besides, _I_ love you, and Kate loves you."

"I know." Erin whispered, scooting her body impossibly closer to her boyfriend's, "Do you want to tell me about her?"

Jay smiled and pressed his lips to the top of Erin's head, "Well, she was not crazy about hockey. I think she always wished that she had a girl because Will and I were always beating the crap out of each other and causing all kinds of trouble in the neighborhood," He chuckled at the memory, "But no matter what we did, no matter how many things we'd break or how much of a mess we'd make, she always found a way to forgive us at the end of the day."

He traced delicate circles on her shoulder as he reminisced, "And she made the most amazing almond butter cookies. Even though she wasn't _that_ great a cook, those cookies were like the best thing ever. And she always went to every single baseball or football game we had. No matter if it was raining or snowing, she'd always be there."

"She sounds incredible," Erin mused, relaxing against his shoulder.

"She was," Jay replied, "And she dealt with my dad every day, even when she was really sick." He paused, "But honestly, Er, my mom was great, but you're even better." Jay swallowed thickly, trying to rid himself of the lump that had built up in his throat, "When I see you with Kate and how much you love her and how much she loves you, I just can't believe how lucky I got." He allowed a single tear to escape before pressing his lips against the crown of Erin's head again, "She has a family now, we have a family, and I feel so thankful, every single day."

"I know, babe." Erin titled her head up so she could look into her partner's eyes, "Before you, Hank was all the family I had. Hank and Justin. And with everything that happened…you never gave up on me."

"Never gonna happen," Jay promised, resuming his gentle ministrations, "What do you say to us heading to bed before we have to get up again, huh?"

"Mm." Erin replied, slowly peeling herself from the comfort of the couch. She bent down and lifted the little girl who was still snuggled against her father, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo as her brown hair grazed Erin's nose. "Can she come to bed with us?" Erin asked sleepily, already heading toward their bedroom with Kate in her arms, "She just fits in between us so well."

"Of course, babe." Jay grinned, trailing after his family.

* * *

"Halstead, Lindsay, we got 'em!" Atwater announced, leaping to his feet after hanging up his phone, "Yes, thank you, someone will be right there."

"Got who?" Jay turned to the young officer as Erin and Hank emerged from the office at Atwater's announcement.

"Paul Jackson. Patrol just picked him up a few blocks from the house in Wicker Park. Tried to get a kid into his car, the mom called 911, and they got him." Atwater informed them, "They're booking him over at the 14th."

Wordlessly, Erin and Jay snatched their coats from the back of their chairs and headed down the steps. Hank pulled his coat off the hook and followed suit, instructing the rest of the unit to "sit tight" until they returned.

The drive over to the 14th district was silent, Jay sitting mutely in the back of the Sierra while Erin drove and Hank rode shotgun. Erin could sense the anger radiating off her partner as she put the truck into park and followed her sergeant up the steps to the 14th. All she wanted was to finally look the bastard who harmed her sweet, innocent baby girl right in the eye, and promise that he would never see the light of day again.

"I'm sorry, Sergeant Voight. Mr. Jackson lawyered up the second he set foot in this district. I also received a call from the Ivory Tower not to let anyone from your unit near him."

"Bullshit." Hank spat, leaning on the sergeant's desk with Erin and Jay behind him, "This is my case, we've been working on it since July."

"Believe me, Sergeant, everyone in the CPD knows about how the child of a detective was kidnapped and how you have been working on it. But the order came from over my head." The older man appeared nervous around the angry sergeant, "I really am sorry, but you'll have to speak with the Commander."

Hank practically growled at the desk sergeant before turning to his detectives. "I'll call Crowley."

* * *

Voight was unable to convince Commander Crowley to allow Intelligence to pursue the case against Paul Jackson. However, the unit was working covertly to make the case against him so that the moment he was processed, they could charge him and get the ball rolling with putting him in jail for the rest of his life. Atwater had created a photo array for Kate, who was sitting with Burgess in the breakroom, coloring in a picture of a frog. "Hi Daddy," Kate said brightly, pushing herself off the chair to give Jay a hug.

"Hey Squirt." Jay bent down and lifted the small child into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, "I missed you." He was so glad that she was safe.

"I missed you more!" Kate grinned, pulling back slightly so she could see his face, "Me and Off-cer Kim are doin' some coloring."

"Is that a frog I see?" Jay smiled, heading over to the table and taking a seat, placing the little girl in his lap. She nodded enthusiastically.

"Uh-huh. There are three frogs," Kate pointed each of them out on the piece of paper, "And I made two green ones and one poison-is frog here." She pointed to the blue frog with yellow spots, "It's in the rainforest."

"Wow." Jay said, smoothing one hand over her head. "Uh, Kim, could you tell Atwater that we're ready?"

Burgess nodded and stood, "Ready for what, Daddy?" Kate looked expectantly up at her father.

"Well, today some of our, um, friends, in the 14th district got a bad man," Jay began, watching as his little girl's features instantly went rigid with fear, "And he's in prison," he emphasized, "But we need to see if you recognize him at all, okay?"

Kate nodded slowly, "W-where's Mommy?"

"She's going to meet us at home. We needed some groceries but as soon as we're done here, we're going to head home, sound good?" Jay gestured for Atwater to enter the room, bearing the iPad with the photo array. "Kev's just going to show you a few pictures, and you can tell us if you recognize anyone."

"Hey Kate." Atwater greeted, sitting beside Jay and Kate, "Let me know if you see anyone you recognize, okay?"

Kate nodded again, watching carefully as the young officer scrolled through various images of offenders. "Wait," Kate said, pointing to the picture of Jackson on the iPad, "That's Mr. P's brother."

"His brother?" Atwater and Halstead exchanged glances, "You're sure about that, Squirt?"

Kate nodded fiercely, "Yes, that is Mr. P's _brother._ I-I can't remember his name because he didn't hurt me." She paused, studying the image further, "He did the selling."

"Do-do you know what this man sold?" Atwater asked gently, unsure if the child would have any idea about what the Jackson brothers were into.

The little girl thought for a moment. "Um, he sold the powders. And tiny little boxes for the computers." She looked up at Jay, "The kind you plug in."

"USBs." Jay breathed, realizing that they had the wrong Jackson in custody. While this man was still a criminal, he wasn't the Jackson who abused his daughter.

* * *

"So the guy in custody is _Peter_ Jackson?" Erin asked, holding her phone to one ear with a bag of groceries and bag of takeout on the other arm, "Not Paul Jackson?"

"Turns out this was the guy who moved the dope and the images and video. He had fake IDs on him that said he was his brother, so I'm guessing it's some kind of ruse." Jay informed her, glancing into the breakroom where Kate was back to coloring innocently, "I uh, told Kate that we had Paul Jackson's brother in custody, but she said he never actually touched her."

"So _Paul_ Jackson is still in the wind." Erin confirmed, shifting the bag of groceries so they didn't topple to the floor of the elevator. "Damn. Well, at least this guy will probably know where his shitbag of a brother is."

"He's lawyered up and isn't talking," Jay ran a hand over his face, "But it looks like they found all sorts of kiddie porn on his person, in addition to a couple grams of heroin. So he should be in custody for a while longer."

"Do we know if there were pictures of Kate?" Erin whispered, the elevator dinging to signal her arrival on the third floor.

"I didn't ask." Jay replied, "But I'm done here. And we'll be home in a bit."

"Good. I got sushi." Erin said, fumbling to get her key out of her coat pocket. "I'm at home, see you in a bit."

"Love you." Jay smiled, still focused on his little girl.

"Love you too." Erin replied, hanging up the phone and retrieving the apartment keys from her pocket. She pushed open the front door and stepped inside, flicking the lights on.

"Nice to finally meet you, detective." A voice came from behind. Erin whirled around and gasped before everything went dark.


	28. Chapter 28

**Sorry for the wait! Thanks for being patient :) Let me know if you like it!  
**

"How come Mommy got to leave before you?" Kate asked as Jay stood in the elevator with his little girl in his arms, "Cause you guys are _partners_ , and Grandpa Hank says that's why you're always together."

"Mommy realized we didn't have a lot of groceries this morning and I had some paperwork to finish up. And since you were having such a good time coloring with Officer Burgess, she thought you would want to finish the picture and come home with me," Jay explained, "But I think Mommy also picked up some sushi for dinner. And I bet she got the edamame you like."

"I love those!" Kate exclaimed, arms still wrapped around Jay's neck, "Bath first?"

"We'll see what Mommy says, how about that?" Jay put the key into the lock but was surprise when the door opened without him turning it. Erin usually remembered to lock the door behind her. "Erin?" Jay called out, pushing the door open and taking a step into the apartment. Kate let out a scream. He gasped and dropped Kate's backpack, instantly reaching for the service weapon on his hip.

"Mommy!" Kate shrieked, wriggling out of Jay's one armed hold and making a beeline for her mother, who was lying on the ground in between the kitchen and the living room, bag of groceries broken and various food items littering the floor.

"Kate!" Jay cried out, reaching to hold his child back, but she was too quick. He held out his weapon and quickly did a once over of the apartment before sinking down beside his unconscious girlfriend and his hysterical daughter. Kate had tears running down her face as she took Erin's hand gently in her own. "Erin, babe." Jay immediately grabbed Erin's wrist and detected a strong pulse, so he picked up his partner's limp head and stroked her cheek softly in an attempt to rouse her. "Erin!" He tried to keep the desperation out of his voice for Kate's sake, but his voice cracked, "Erin, come on back. Wake up."

Erin's eyes fluttered open, harsh light assaulting her blurry vision. She could barely make out the outline of her boyfriend, frantically shouting her name. She could hear soft whimpers in the distance. Kate? Where was she? Erin fought to focus, swallowing the metallic taste in her mouth. Blood. "Mm." Erin lolled her head to one side and weakly widened her eyes. "Jay. He was here."

"Who was here?" Jay asked, his heart in his throat. Kate was trembling beside her mother, glancing nervously around the apartment that didn't appear to have anything missing. The television was still there, as were both Erin and Jay's computers that sat on the breakfast bar. He stroked her cheek as she struggled to sit up, putting a comforting hand on Kate's back as well. "What happened?"

"Jackson," Erin choked out, her tongue feeling too large for her mouth. "Jumped me when I came in." She swallowed, realizing that she must have bit it when she was whacked over the head.

Tears streamed down Kate's cheeks as she watched Jay slowly get to his feet. "Okay, we need to get you to the hospital. Kate, sweetheart, I know this is scary, but I need you to go into your bedroom and get some clothes, underwear and socks and put them into the suitcase from under your bed, okay? We've got to get out of here."

She nodded, knowing full well that her mother was in no condition to help her. Tentatively, the little girl made her way to the bedroom, glancing over her shoulder to be sure her parents were still there. "I don't need the hospital," Erin tried to argue, "C-call Hank."

"I will, as soon as we get out of here," Jay promised. He gently helped Erin to stand and settled her on the couch. "Babe, you're bleeding." Jay informed her, showing her his hand that had been on the back of her head.

Erin opened her mouth to protest, but thump followed by a scream from Kate's room caused her to snap her head toward the noise. "Kate?" Jay shouted, running toward the bedroom as quickly as he could, "What's happened?"

"Daddy!" Kate shrieked, leaping into his arms and burying her head in his shoulder, "She's dead, she's dead!"

Jay glanced around the bedroom and saw that all of Kate's stuffed animals had been decapitated, their fluffy insides strewn across her bed. The pictures that she had drawn were ripped to shreds and scattered across the floor, surrounding the body of Sarah Harding, who lay lifelessly in front of the closet. "What the…" Jay could not believe the scene in front of him.

"I-I-I opened the closet and the lady fell out," Kate stammered, pulling her head off of Jay's shoulder and taking in the destruction of her bedroom. "Mommy said Mr. P was _here_." Tears continued to stream down her cheeks, "He hurt her."

"I know, kiddo." Jay held his daughter tightly with one arm and rummaged through her drawers quickly, pulling out a couple pairs of underwear, socks, shirts, pants and pajamas. "Sarge," Jay barked into his phone the second his superior picked up, "Jackson broke into the apartment, jumped Erin. Sarah Harding's body is on Kate's bedroom floor, she was dead when we got here."

He winced as Voight shouted a string of curse words into the receiver but promised to be there as soon as possible. "Jay," Erin gasped, leaning against the doorframe of Kate's room with all her weight. "Oh my god."

"You shouldn't be up." Jay informed her, placing all the clothes he pulled out atop of Kate's dresser. He grabbed a tote bag that was usually used to carry books and stuffed all the items on top before slinging it over his shoulder, still balancing Kate on his hip. "Can you two sit on the couch while I grab some clothes for us?"

Jay quickly set Kate down despite the strong grip she held with a promise that he would be right back. He led his girl, who was incredibly shaky on her feet, over to the couch and told her to sit tight while he headed for the bedroom. Jay pulled a duffle bag from the top of the closet and shoved clothes for him and Erin into it as fast as he could. He could not believe that Jackson knew where they lived and had managed to break in. Jay tightened his fists around the pair of jeans he grabbed from Erin's drawer, trying to keep calm. His girl had been assaulted by the same maniac who tortured his daughter. The fact that Jackson was sick enough to leave a dead body in the bedroom of a child disturbed him to no end and all Jay could focus on was getting him behind bars.

"It's okay, baby," Erin croaked, trying to comfort the distraught little girl, "I'm fine, it's just a little bump on the head." Kate had stopped sobbing, but tears sluiced off her cheeks rapidly as she observed her mother's pale complexion.

"You're being so brave," Jay praised, dropping the duffle bag beside the couch and lifting the quivering child in his arms, "We're going to get out of here, right now."

"Erin!" Hank shouted, running through the front door with Olinsky and Ruzek on his heels, "Christ, what happened?" He pointed to Kate's bedroom, indicating that Olinsky and Ruzek should check out the situation in there.

"Jackson," Erin managed weakly, waving her hand flippantly, "I'm fine. We just want to get Kate out of here."

"You were _unconscious_ , babe." Jay told her gently. He looked up at his sergeant, who nodded, "Hank's going to take you to the hospital. I gotta deal with the," he swallowed, "body. Kate, you're going to go with Mommy and Grandpa Hank, okay?"

Kate nodded tearfully, squeezing her father tightly. "I-I can walk. Mommy needs _help._ " She looked nervously at her mother, tears still dripping down her face.

"Good girl." Jay kissed her forehead and set her down, holding out the tote bag. "Do you think you can carry this bag while Grandpa Hank helps Mommy to the car?"

"I take both." Kate insisted, hoisting the large duffle bag over her shoulder and picking up the tote bag in the other hand. The strap was so long that the duffle hung an inch off the ground, but the little girl was determined. She wiped her hand across her face and swallowed her tears. Kate knew that her parents needed her to be strong.

"Her medicine, Jay." Erin choked out, leaning heavily on her father figure as he helped her stand. He quickly retrieved it from the kitchen and placed it into the tote bag.

"I'll meet you at the hospital, okay?" Jay cupped his girl's cheek with one hand, "O and Ruzek are already getting things started over here, so I won't be too long."

She nodded weakly in response. "I'll be there as soon as I can, Squirt." Jay bent down and kissed the top of his little girl's head, "Thank you for being such a help, I'm so proud of you."

* * *

Hank drove Erin's car to the hospital with both Erin and Kate in the backseat. He kept glancing in the rearview at his almost-daughter, who remained pale and shaky after being knocked unconscious by a sociopathic child abuser. Kate held her mother's hand tightly as Hank sped along the street, trying to reach the Emergency Department as soon as he could. "How you doing kid?" Hank asked at a stoplight, turning around to look at Erin.

"I'm okay, really." Erin said, still clutching Kate's hand shakily.

"You're _bleeding_ , Mommy." Kate whimpered nervously, taking note of the blood that was on the back of Erin's coat and oozing down her neck. Erin reached her hand back and winced at the sight of a sticky wet substance on her fingertips.

"Let's go." Hank stopped the car and helped Kate out of the car before gently easing Erin off the backseat, "We need to get you looked at. You definitely have a concussion. Might need stitches."

"Ugh," Erin groaned, stumbling against her sergeant as he led her into the Emergency Department, "I feel like we live here."

Will greeted them at the entrance to the ED, "Jay just called me. C'mon, I need to take a look." He helped Hank lead Erin over to a bed. She gingerly sat down and winced at the bright light of the exam room. Kate nervously held Hank's hand as she watched her uncle examine the back of Erin's head. "Okay so luckily it doesn't look like you need stitches, but I would like to get a CT scan just to make sure everything's okay. You definitely have a concussion, but I'm not a neurologist." Will smiled sympathetically. "I'm just going to clean up the back of your head and get that scan set up for you right away."

"Ugh." Erin groaned again, "I'm really fine, we don't need to waste time here."

"You were unconscious, Erin," Hank said gently, "And this is second time you've been in the hospital for a blow to the head. You need to take it easy."

"First time it was a guy on a bike, now it's a pathological child abuser who jumps me when I'm carrying groceries," Erin bemoaned, "Shit!" she hissed as Will dabbed the wound on her head with alcohol. She winced when she caught Kate's frightened gaze, having forgotten her little girl was in the room, "I'm sorry, baby."

Kate shook her head, leaning closer to Hank's legs as Will continued to clean Erin's head. "When's Daddy gonna be here?" she asked quietly, clutching Hank's hand tighter.

"Soon, kiddo." Hank lifted the shaking child into his arms and held her closely while Will worked on Erin. He settled into a chair as they waited for Erin to return from the CT scan and neurological exam.

* * *

"Are you hungry, Kate?" Hank asked kindly, realizing that it was way past dinner and Kate's bedtime. The little girl had been resting on his shoulder but had yet to fall asleep, still far too anxious to close her eyes amidst everything that was going on.

She shook her head, "I'm just _worried._ "

Hank felt his heart clench at the child's admission. "Your mom is going to be just fine. You saw how she was arguing with the doctors. She's a fighter and will be back here in no time. What about if you and I head down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat, hm? Maybe get some ice cream too?"

Kate shrugged, "But what if Mommy comes back when we're gone?"

"We could get something for her too. And we'll tell the nurse that we're just headed downstairs and to tell Erin that we'll be right back." Hank took the little girl's silence as agreement and headed toward the cafeteria, informing the nurse of their plans.

Jay entered the ED breathlessly, frantically searching for his girls. He didn't recognize anyone until he spotted a familiar redhead from afar. "Will!" he shouted, ambling toward his brother, "Where is she?"

"Up in CT. Just finished her nuero exam." Will replied, gesturing to the bay where Erin would return, "Voight took Kate for dinner."

"God." Jay sank into a plastic chair and covered his face with his hands.

"You alright, man?" Will put his hand on his brother's shoulder, "I mean, from what you told me over the phone…"

"It was horrible," Jay managed, lifting his head and squinting at his brother with tired eyes, "Absolutely horrible. To see Erin on the floor like that, to hear Kate scream…" he trailed off, running his hand over his face again. "Jackson killed his girlfriend and shoved her in Kate's closet. The woman fell to the fucking floor when Kate opened the door. The poor thing is petrified."

"Voight's been really good with her," Will offered, trying to bring some level of comfort to his brother, "And I know this might not make you feel any better, but from what you've told me, she's probably seen worse."

"I know." Jay choked out, leaning back in the chair, "That's what freaks me out the most."

"Daddy!" Kate cried, letting go of Hank's hand and running full speed into her father's arms.

"Hey kiddo," He kissed her hair, "Did you get some dinner?"

Kate nodded, relaxing against her father, "Grandpa Hank got me a burger. And we got one for you and one for mommy, too."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Jay rubbed her back and glanced up at his sergeant. "Thanks Sarge."

"Not a problem." Hank handed the detective a take away container with burgers and fries. Jay smiled gratefully and shifted the little girl so he could eat.

* * *

"Hey." Erin smiled tiredly at her family as she was wheeled back into the hospital room, "I was wondering when you were going to show up."

"How are you feeling?" Jay asked, standing to help his girl onto the bed. He passed a softly-dozing Kate off to her grandfather, where she tiredly settled against his chest.

"I'm okay." Erin echoed her statement from earlier, "Really."

Jay raised his eyebrows suspiciously but didn't try to fight her. "Well, it looks like Sarah Harding had been dead for less than an hour when we showed up. Security cams don't show either Harding or Jackson entering the building but they caught you entering at 6:37 and Jackson leaving at 6:39." He paused and tucked Erin's hair behind her ear, "You were unconscious for almost 10 minutes before Kate and I got home."

Erin grunted in response, recognizing that it probably meant she had a concussion. She did have a pounding headache and was exhausted, but she had hoped it wasn't that bad. "Do we have a location on Jackson yet?"

Jay shook his head, "It looks like he was headed downtown. Atwater and Burgess are going over traffic cams, but for now we probably shouldn't go home. Kate's bedroom is a crime scene."

"You three can come home with me," Hank piped up, "There's more than enough space."

Both Erin and Jay smiled gratefully, "Thanks Hank," Erin murmured, closing her eyes slightly as Jay continued to run his fingers through her hair.

Will entered the exam room, bearing Erin's chart. "So am I good to go?" Erin asked, looking expectantly at the young doctor, "Please tell me I don't have to spend the night."

"You don't need to spend the night, but you do have a severe concussion," Dr. Halstead informed her, "The fact that you lost consciousness indicates that. You actually did okay on the neurological exam, but regardless, you took a huge blow to the head. The CT scan didn't show any swelling in the brain but to be safe you should refrain from activities for the next couple of days. Dr. Abrams is going to want to see you in a few days to check in," He paused, setting the chart down on the bed, "You got really lucky Erin."

She let out a breath and nodded, "Okay, let's get out of here."

Will chuckled and handed her the discharge forms. "Call me if you need anything. And be safe." He looked pointedly at his brother.

"We will. Thanks." Jay nodded as Erin scribbled her name and pushed herself off the bed. "Easy, Er."

Erin grunted again, accepting her partner's help to slip on her boots. Hank carried the sleeping little girl out to Erin's car while Jay walked with Erin, standing close beside her. "I'm not an invalid, Jay," She scolded, settling into the passenger seat of the Sierra, as it was parked closer to the entrance.

"I know, babe. I'm just worried, that's all." Jay climbed into the driver's seat and followed Hank to his house, noting that he took an extended route that was nearly impossible to follow. "You must be exhausted," he said sympathetically after he parked behind the Jeep.

Erin nodded tiredly and accepted her partner's assistance up the steps to Hank's back door. The older man had Kate on one shoulder and the duffle bag on the other, and even held the tote bag in one hand. He tossed Jay the house key and indicated for him to open the door. The minute Jay stepped inside, he reached for his gun. After his last experience entering a home, he couldn't be too careful.

Luckily, everything seemed to be in order and he lowered his piece, motioning for Hank to follow him inside. "Should we wake her up?" Jay asked Erin, gazing at his little girl who was sound asleep in Hank's arms.

"You and Kate can take your room," Hank looked deliberately at his almost-daughter, "Jay, you can use Justin's."

"Hank," Erin all but whined, "Come on."

"My house, my rules." Hank replied gruffly, starting up the steps to Erin's old bedroom.

Erin groaned again and Jay chuckled at his girlfriend's frustration with her father-figure, "He's just being a protective dad, Er."

"It was cute when I was _fifteen_ ," Erin insisted, climbing up the steps and taking the tote bag with her, "But we live together. We share a bed every night."

"I doubt he thinks about it like that," Jay said dryly, hoisting the duffle onto his shoulder, "Let's just get some rest, it's nearly midnight."

"I got jumped entering my apartment and I have a concussion, there was a dead woman in my daughter's closet and he's gonna deny me the comfort of my boyfriend?" Erin muttered, trudging up the stairs, "Ugh."

Jay chuckled again, tossing the duffle into the bedroom that he knew was Justin's. "Come on, the doctors said you were going to need to rest."

Hank had set the sleeping child atop the comforter so that her parents could tuck her in. "Night, kid." He held Erin closely, "You know where to find me if you need me."

"Thanks Hank," Erin replied, hugging him back, "And thanks for having us."

"No trouble at all," Hank insisted, patting Jay on the back.

Erin tiredly pulled Kate's shoes and coat off, tucking her gently beneath the covers. She shed her clothes and pulled the t shirt Jay had brought for her to sleep in over her head. Jay even located some old sweatpants in the dresser that were hers in high school, which she gratefully accepted. "I love you," Erin mumbled, climbing under the covers next to her little girl.

"I love you too." Jay leaned down and kissed her lips, "And we're gonna get him this time. And all of this is going to be behind us, okay?"

She nodded sleepily, cuddling closer to the sleeping child, "I know." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and Kate's before quietly creeping out of the dark bedroom and down the hall.

* * *

 **Soooooooooo I've been thinking and doing some planning and might actually just continue this story but with a more spaced-out timeline. Is that something people would be interested in? The other idea I have is kinda half baked and this way I'd probs be able to get chapters up in a more timely fashion. I would still love some requests though, so PLEASE send em my way. xo**


	29. Chapter 29

**I think this is my new favorite chapter-peep the quick note at the end please and thanks!  
**

* * *

 **Trigger Warning for mentions Child Abuse.**

Erin jerked awake and snapped open her eyes, glancing rapidly around the room to see where she was. She relaxed slightly when she recognized the soft curtains that covered the window and the silhouette of Camille's lamp, remembering that she, Jay and Kate were staying in Hank's house while their apartment was a crime scene. Her head was dully aching, but what had woken her up was the small body beside her. Kate normally slept peacefully when she was in her parent's bed, but the little girl appeared to be trapped in a nightmare, struggling against the comforter and emitting plaintive whimpers every so often. "Kate, baby." Erin gently rested a hand on her baby's shoulder, "Wake up, sweetheart, it was just a dream."

Kate's eyes bolted open as she scrambled against the sheets, looking around quickly at the room around her. There were faded posters on the wall and the window was shaking slightly from the wind. "We're at Grandpa Hank's house, in my old bedroom," Erin sat up, trying to comfort her terrified daughter, "We're safe, we're okay."

"Daddy." Kate erupted into sobs, "Where's Daddy?"

"He's in the other room, he's alright," Erin tucked Kate's hair behind her ears, the little girl still shaking, "You're here with me, it was just a dream."

"I'm sorry," Kate wept, covering her face with her little hands, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you just had a nightmare baby." Erin shifted closer to her little girl, "It's perfectly alright for you to be upset."

"I'm sorry for being _scared_ ," Kate whimpered, fresh tears joining those that had already made their way down her flushed cheeks, "I-I-I'm tryin' to be b-brave."

"I know, sweetheart." Erin wrapped her arms around her quivering child, "I know, it's okay to be scared too. It was a pretty frightening day, huh?"

"I want Daddy to be here." The little girl burst into another round of sobs, "He c-can't be alone, he can't!"

"He's just down the hall, sleeping," Erin assured her, "He's safe in bed, you don't need to worry about him."

"No, no," Kate sobbed, "We gotta get him, bad things are gonna happen if we're not with him. You g-guys need to be 'gether, you're _partners_ or they gonna hurt him like they hurt you!" With that, Kate dissolved into painful sobs, ripping Erin's heart from her chest.

"Oh sweetheart," Erin held her baby close to her chest, "I'm okay, I promise," She opened her mouth to continue, but a soft knock came at the bedroom door. Jay quietly stepped into the bedroom, wood floors creaking as he moved. He hadn't been able to stay asleep and had been woken up by his daughter's cries that penetrated the old walls. He padded across the floor, Kate's sharp pants punctuating the still air.

"I couldn't sleep without my girls," he whispered, sinking down on the bed beside Erin. He ran a hand over her hair, mussed from sleep.

"D-daddy," Kate sniffled, lifting her head off of Erin's shoulder, "You safe." She sounded incredibly relieved and exhaled deeply.

"I'm safe, Squirt." Jay nodded, kissing the top of Erin's head, "Can I snuggle for a bit?"

"Uh-huh." The little child relaxed immediately against Erin's chest as she scooted over to make room for Jay on the small full-sized bed. It was barely big enough for Kate and Erin, and adding Jay proved to be a tight squeeze. "C-can I give Daddy a hug?" Kate asked softly as he shifted closer to his girls.

"Of course, baby." Erin smiled sadly at her boyfriend and let him take the still-shaking child into his embrace. "See, Daddy's okay."

"I'm glad," Kate breathed, cuddling closer to her father, "I get worried when you don't got Mommy for back-up."

Jay and Erin exchanged glances at Kate's statement. "I know today was scary, kiddo, but Mommy and I can't be together all the time." Jay kissed the top of his precious little girl's head.

"But you're _partners,_ " Kate emphasized, "Mr. P could have _killed_ Mommy and then I would have no mommy." She began to get more worked up, "And-and last time Daddy got his head split and Mr. P is a bad, bad man and I don't want him to hurt you."

Erin squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears to abate. "Kate, baby, Daddy and I work with the Police. Sometimes it can get a bit dangerous and sometimes we get hurt, like when Daddy got hit in the head. And even though we're partners, we can't be together all the time." She looked to Jay to continue, unsure of what she could really say next, as she had been the one to get bashed over the head and wind up unconscious on the living room floor.

"What Mr. P did to Mommy wasn't something that we expected. We go home at different times all the time, and nothing bad ever happens, right?" Jay looked to his little girl, who still appeared very unconvinced, "But Mr. P is a very bad man, which is why we're going to get him and make sure he never hurts anyone, ever again." He paused to run his hand over the top of Kate's head, "And we're going to keep you safe. And Grandpa Hank has a whole bunch of people keeping Mommy and me safe too, so you don't need to worry about us."

The child relaxed slightly, glancing worriedly up at Erin. "Did-did he hurt you?"

"I have a bump on my head and a concussion, but I'll be okay really soon, I promise." Erin smiled, wiping a few tears off Kate's cheeks, "You and I get to hang out together for a few days though, how does that sound? We can color and play games."

"I know he hit you on the head," Kate said softly, glancing down at her hands, "Did he _touch_ you?"

Erin felt as if she had been stabbed in the stomach. She shook her head furiously, placing a gentle hand on Jay's back to ground him. "No, no, baby. He didn't." Tears filled her eyes and the question she wanted to ask was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't have the heart to ask it.

"D-did he touch you?" Jay asked after a moment. He looked sadly at his unbelievably innocent and sweet little girl, swallowing thickly and trying to keep himself from storming out of the room to go kill the bastard.

He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him as he watched his daughter nod slowly, still looking shamefully at her hands. "N-not in New York," Kate informed them, eyes cast downward, "But before you got me, Mr. P used to hurt me real bad. And he let other guys do it too." She drew in a breath and looked up at her parents, "I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I don't like 'memberin' it."

"Oh, my love." Erin wrapped her arms around her daughter, leaning into Jay's chest, "I am so sorry that happened to you."

"You're safe now, Squirt," Jay managed, quickly blinking to rid his eyes of tears as to not upset his already traumatized child, "I am so proud of you for telling us because I know how hard it can be to remember horrible things."

She nodded and closed her eyes briefly. "Is it okay if I would like to be done talkin' 'bout it? For now?"

"Of course." Jay kissed the top of her head and then the top of Erin's, "How about we all get some sleep, hm?"

"C-can you stay?" Kate asked. Jay and Erin exchanged glances, the little girl having read Erin's mind. There was nothing she wanted more than to snuggle up to her boyfriend and daughter in her real childhood bedroom. She widened her eyes hopefully, knowing that Jay wouldn't be able to say no to _both_ of his girls.

"I can." Jay whispered, "But this is a secret because Grandpa Hank can't know."

Kate smiled and nodded knowingly, "Cause he don't like funny business."

Erin clapped a hand over her mouth to keep herself from bursting out laughing, "Who told you about funny business?"

She shrugged, settling against her father as he laid back in bed, entirely amused by his brilliant daughter. "Woo-zek. When I told him sometimes we cuddle, he said I stop all funny business."

Jay chuckled softly, pulling Erin closer to him. She nestled against his chest and stroked her little girl's hair back, "We gotta make sure he's not ruining your innocence," she mumbled, closing her eyes. Jay had left Kate resting directly on his chest, which helped keep him warm but also allowed Erin mold to her boyfriend's side.

"I love you," he whispered, running a hand through his girl's hair, "Sleep well babe." He gently stroked Kate's back, who was already dozing lightly, "And I love you too, Squirt."

* * *

The following morning, Hank pretended not to see Jay emerge from Erin's room sheepishly and the duo headed for the district bright and early to locate Jackson. Peter Jackson had been less than helpful with providing his brother's whereabouts, only repeatedly exercising his fifth amendment right and smiling smugly. Once Crowley had gotten wind of the situation with Paul Jackson, she had allowed Intelligence to take over the case but insisted on overseeing everything. Her major caveat was that neither Hank nor Jay would be allowed into the interrogation room.

"We should put him in the cage," Jay growled, glaring out of the window in Hank's office, arms folded tightly across his chest, "I wouldn't even need two minutes."

"I know kid," Hank nodded in agreement, "But the 14th let him get ahold of a lawyer and there is no way that bastard leaves his side." He was referring to the defense attorney Jackson had picked out, who was none other than Ed Bowler. Bowler, the same man who defended Joseph Pierce and traumatized Kate, was on the top of Jay's list of people he'd like to get in the cage as well, right after Jackson and his associates.

"He's just as bad," Jay exploded, "The man is defending criminals. He's gotta know something."

"Bowler isn't the man being charged with possession of child pornography with intent to distribute," The seasoned officer pinched the bridge between his eyes, "But he may be getting paid by someone who knows where Paul Jackson is."

Jay unfolded his arms and turned to leave before he felt a hand on his back. "You can't, Halstead. You're too close to this."

"I'm just going to talk to the guy who is tossing money at that fucking lowlife," Jay exclaimed, refolding his arms, "I'm not arresting anybody. I'm not going to hurt him."

"Can't take the chance." Crowley knocked on the office door, which was half open already, "Sorry for interrupting, but an undercover in the gang unit said that one of his guys had spoken with Jackson, looking to move a large amount of heroin. Might check into that?"

Hank nodded, "Jay, take a half day. Go home and be with Erin and Kate. There's a patrol car out front and covert behind the house but I'm sure they'd love to see you."

Jay narrowed his eyes, knowing full well that his sergeant was just trying to get rid of him. However, going to check on his girls was probably the best and only reason that would make want to take a break. He sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I'm worried about that concussion."

"You and me both, kid." Hank clapped his detective on the back and pointed to the exit.

* * *

"Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, rushing toward her father and jumping into his open arms, "You safe!" She hugged him tightly, not bothered by the snow that dusted his jacket.

"I'm safe, Squirt." Jay kissed the top of her head and leaned back so he could take in his little girl, "What have you been up to? And what are you wearing?"

Kate giggled, "Me and Mommy sleeped and had breakfast and then I put Mommy down for a nap," she told him seriously, "And we forgot to bring pajama shirts, so I'm wearing one of Mommy's!" She grinned widely, extending an arm that was engulfed in a worn long sleeve t shirt.

"You look great," Jay set her down on the ground and shed his coat, "And you put Mommy down for a nap?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, "Cause I could tell her head was hurtin'. And so I said I was tired and that we should take a nap. And then she fell asleep but I came down to read books." Suddenly, the little girl's face dropped and she looked terrified, "Oh, no."

"What is it?" Jay asked urgently, sinking down to meet her eyes, "What happened?"

"I _lied,_ " Kate stammered, "I told Mommy I was sleepy but I wasn't." The poor child started to panic, "But I only said it cause I was worried 'bout Mommy but-"

"It's okay, kiddo," Jay reassured her, gently rubbing her arm, "I know you just wanted to get Mommy in bed. And that's okay. It wasn't bad and it was only a white lie." He instantly regretted his word choice, because he knew his clever little girl would want to know what a 'white lie' was.

"What's that?" Kate asked, appearing to relax, "A white lie?"

Jay nodded, "Sometimes it happens when you tell someone something that isn't entirely true just so that you don't hurt someone's feelings. And I know you didn't want to make Mommy feel bad about needing a nap." He cupped her cheek with his hand, "You're so thoughtful, Squirt."

Kate exhaled, "So I wasn't bad?"

"Nope," Jay kissed the top of her head, "But I bet you're hungry for lunch."

"A little," Kate shrugged, "Me and Mommy had bananas and strawberries _and_ blueberries for breakfast. With peanut toast!"

"That sounds yummy," Jay glanced into the kitchen, "Why don't I see what I can whip us up, huh? Did you take your medicine this morning?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, "Can I help?"

"Absolutely," Jay scooped up his little girl and headed for Hank's kitchen, hoping to find something to make lunch with.

* * *

"What's going on in here?" Erin asked, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen, still clad in one of Jay's t shirts and a pair of old sweatpants. She definitely looked better than she had the other day, the nap having done wonders for the pounding headache.

"We makin' pancakes! For lunch!" Kate informed her mother gleefully, "Daddy came back early!"

"So he did." Erin made her way over to her partner and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his back, "I didn't even hear you leave this morning."

"That's because I was super sneaky." Jay spun around from the stove and kissed the top of Erin's head, "How are you feeling? How's the pain?"

"I'm fine." She relaxed into her partner's chest, listening to the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat as he held her. Jay inhaled deeply, lips still ghosting over Erin's head as he thought about how grateful he was to be surrounded by the girls he loved so much.

"Um, Daddy? The pancakes are burnin'." Kate urgently poked Jay with her finger, "I'm not 'lowed to touch the stove."

Jay chuckled and turned around, flipping the pancakes quickly. The side on the griddle was definitely darker than it should be, but luckily wasn't burnt to a crisp. "Good catch, Squirt. I think you saved this batch."

"Good thing I'm helping!" Kate exclaimed, kicking her legs out slightly in delight, "Grandpa Hank would be really grumpy if we burned his house down."

Erin smiled, snaking her arms around Jay's waist again and leaning into his side, "I guess it's okay that I'm not cooking then," She winked at the little girl, who giggled.

"Mommy you cook good!" Kate nodded seriously, "Daddy's just jokin' 'bout you burning the house down."

"She does make a mean chicken noodle soup," Jay flipped the pancakes onto the plate, one arm still draped over his girlfriend's shoulder, "And the best salads."

"So we get our veg-tubles so we can be strong!" Kate flexed her arms like Jay had shown her, earning more chuckles from her parents.

"You are absolutely right," Erin scooped the little girl into her arms and held her closely, "How did you get so smart?"

"I listen real good to what you say, Mommy," Kate told her, reaching a hand out to brush the hair off Erin's face, "You the smartest person I _ever_ met."

"Well, thank you sweetheart, that's very kind of you to say." She kissed her daughter's cheek before setting her down in a kitchen chair.

"I'm serious." Kate stated with a straight face, "You are very smart." She looked up at her father, "Daddy's smart too. And Grandpa Hank. But _Mommy_ is the smartest 'cause she knows everything."

Jay nodded in agreement, reaching for the plates and setting them down on the kitchen table. "Oh, I don't know everything." Erin smiled and sat down beside her little girl, awaiting a plate of pancakes.

"I don't know, I think you do, babe," Jay teased.

"See?" Kate grinned, obviously too young to understand the concept of sarcasm, "That's how come I know stuff, because you help me. And I'm not white lyin'."

"White lies?" Erin looked up at Jay, who immediately focused on transferring the pancakes to a serving plate, "How did you learn about those?"

"Daddy," Kate shrugged, "He said they were okay if you were trying to make people feel better but I'm not. And I know 'bout real lies and that they're bad. I learned 'bout them in school. And Miss Carlson says I'm a good listen-er."

"You are, kiddo," Jay slid two pancakes on her plate, "Let me know if you want more okay? We made a whole bunch."

* * *

"Long day?" Hank peered up from pulling his snow-covered boots off to see his almost-daughter standing in the doorway to the kitchen. While she looked considerably less ghostly than she did the day before, the dark circles under her eyes suggested she would benefit from a good night's sleep. He nodded, shedding his coat and placing it on the hook.

"We're getting closer," Hank offered a small smile and headed toward the fridge, "You probably shouldn't have a beer. Do you want a soda?"

She shook her head and stifled a yawn. "Jay's putting Kate down. She fell asleep while we were playing chutes and ladders."

"She doing okay?" Hank popped the cap off the bottle and took a long, slow sip of the cold beverage.

Erin nodded, trailing after her father figure as he headed for the living room, "Today she was totally fine. I mean a little worried here and there, but it's mostly hard at night. The nightmares are just…" she trailed off, unable to find a word to encapsulate just how upsetting, horrifying and traumatic her daughter's dreams were. "It breaks my heart," she said honestly, settling down on the couch.

Hank took another sip of his beer and nodded in understanding. "And how are you feeling?"

She shrugged, playing with the ends of Jay's long sleeve shirt that she was still clad in, "I'm fine."

"I should get you a coffee mug with that printed on it," Jay quipped, rounding the couch and sitting beside his girl, "Your head must be killing you."

She shot him a look, but it carried little weight with the tiredness behind her eyes. "I took _two_ naps today."

"I know," Jay ran a hand over her head, "And I didn't get to tell you but Kate told me when I got home that she wasn't actually tired this morning, but she knew you were so she got you both into bed and snuck off once you fell asleep." He chuckled at Erin's incredulous expression, having been manipulated by a four year old.

"God, she's smart," Erin huffed, leaning in closer to Jay and glancing over to her father-figure and boss, "Tricked me into a nap at four years old. Damn."

"If it makes you feel any better, she was absolutely distraught when she realized she might have lied to you," Jay offered, "So to make her feel better I told her about white lies."

"Really, Jay?" Erin turned her head, "I was meaning to ask you about that. She's _four._ "

"She's _brilliant,_ " Jay replied, catching his boss nodding in agreement out of the corner of her eye, "And I didn't want her to be upset."

"So, since you're both here, you can tell me straight. What's going on with the case?" Erin looked pointedly at her partner and then to Hank, "Come on, I have a right to know. And if you don't tell me I'll get Ruzek down here and he'll fold so fast-"

"We're looking into Bowler. Who Peter Jackson has retained as his attorney," Hank cut her off, "Crowley's got her hands on everything though, so things are moving slowly."

Before she could respond, Jay's phone rang shrilly, causing Erin to wince at the sharp noise, "Sorry, Er," He quickly silenced it and stood, "Halstead." The young detective's eyes went wide as he heard the familiar menacing voice on the other end of the line. 'Jackson' he mouthed, quickly turning the phone onto speaker. He pressed his finger to his lips and mouthed 'We're tracking it' to an incredibly perturbed Erin.

"…and I will see to it that the child is in my care, whether you accept it or not, detective," Jackson's icy voice echoed through the speaker, "Come hell or high water, she is going to be mine and I don't care who I have to kill because nobody is getting in my way."

Jay clenched his fists tightly and opened his mouth to speak, but the call disconnected. He glanced up at Erin, whose glassy gaze turned pointed and furious. "Tell me somebody's on that," she whispered, looking to both Jay and Hank who nodded simultaneously.

"Atwater had a tech buddy set up some kind of tracing device so that incoming calls get tracked back to their location. It's not exact, but it's within a few blocks." Jay pocketed the cell phone and settled back on the couch.

"Well, aren't we going to go after it?" Erin looked incredulous, "I mean, if you're tracking it?"

"O and Burgess are going to sit on the location for the evening, make sure he doesn't leave. If he's where they think he is. We've got covert cars in the area as well, so we have to wait for another call to triangulate it better," Hank informed her after taking another sip, "Gotta wait him out."

"Did we not hear the same threat?" Erin exclaimed, "He wants to take her away and _kill_ anyone who tries to stop him. I think that warrants some kind of offensive action."

"Crowley's got her foot on the entire unit," Jay grimaced, "She'd shut down Intelligence and fire us all if we make any wrong moves. We gotta play it by the book, get the bastard and charge him. Then we'll ensure he goes to jail, but if we act too soon, we could blow it. And we can't risk that, for Kate's sake."

Erin huffed and leaned back against the cushions, listening as her almost-dad and boyfriend proceeded to speak civilly about the politics surrounding the chain of command and the department as a whole.

While Erin relaxed, Kate sat on third step down on the stairs, listening intently to the conversations that were taking place. She had heard her grandfather come home and wanted to greet him, but stopped short when Jay's phone rang. After hearing Paul Jackson's eerie threat, she knew what she had to do.

Kate quietly crept into the kitchen in her pajamas, searching for her snow boots and winter jacket. Jay had taken her outside to play that afternoon while Erin took another nap, so they were drying by the radiator near the back door. She swallowed hard before slipping on the boots, leaving the laces untied because her tiny hands had yet to master the skill. Kate pulled her jacket on over the long sleeve shirt of Erin's and shivered before reaching up with one hand to turn the handle on the back door, clasping Tiger tightly in the other, intent on putting as much space between the people she loved and the man who was trying to hurt them as possible.

* * *

 **Eeeeeep I was absolutely _blow away_ by all the amazing reviews on the last chapter. Thank you thank you, they made my entire week! Fair warning, I started a full time job and though I have a few chapters already written I'm never home so updates aren't going to be as daily as they used to be (trust me, it pains me as well) BUT the reviews def keep me motivated to be as timely as possible. I also got some AMAZING suggestions that I will try to incorporate into future chapters. Keep sending those my way! xo**


	30. Chapter 30

Kate reached for the door handle and grasped the cold metal in her tiny fist, hoping to open the door quietly and slip out the back of the house unnoticed. "Kate?" Jay asked, surprise evident in his voice. He stopped in his tracks and glanced worriedly at the bundled up little girl. "Where are you going, Squirt?"

She grimaced and lowered her hand, shoving it into the pocket of her winter coat. Kate stood there, unsure of what to do or what to say. "I, um, gotta go," she whispered, tilting her head down so that her damp brown locks obstructed her father's view of her face.

"Are you dreaming?" Jay quickly crossed the kitchen and sank in front of his daughter, trying to meet her eyes. When he saw that she was clear-eyed and lucid, he sat back on his heels in concern, "Where do you have to go?"

"Out," Kate shrugged, eyes still cast downward, avoiding her father's concerned gaze. She focused on the loose laces that pooled at her feet and shifted slightly from one foot to the other.

"Without telling Mommy or me?" He raised his eyebrows suspiciously. His little girl was not one to disobey the rules or do anything that she thought might make him or Erin mad. Not that he could ever be mad at her, but she always worried and therefore never took the risk.

"It would be easier," Kate swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her head, "I didn't want you to stop me."

"Stop you from leaving?" Jay extended a hand to tuck Kate's hair behind her tiny ears but stopped when she flinched, "It's late though, sweetheart. We can go outside in the morning. And it would make us worry if you're out there all alone, so maybe one of us could go with you? You should always have a grown up when you go outside."

Kate shook her head, "You-you can't come with me."

"Where do you want to go?" Jay asked gently, observing her nervous expression as she watched him watch her, "Do you have a place in mind?"

"I don't wanna go, I _have_ to," Kate informed him, reaching up for the doorknob again, "I _gotta_ leave."

"Why do you think that you have to leave, sweetheart?" Jay's concern was ramping up with every passing second, his little girl appearing more and more worked up. He took her small extended hand in his own, gently rubbing her tiny fingers.

"Cause odder-wise Mr. P's gonna get you and Mommy," Tears welled in Kate's eyes, "And he wants me. So I _gotta_ go."

"Oh, no, Squirt." Jay shook his head quickly, finally realizing what was going on in his baby's head, "You don't have to go. You're safe here, I promise."

"Jay?" Erin stood by the fridge, looking quizzically at her partner and daughter, both by the back door, "What's going on? Why is Kate wearing her coat? Did you have a bad dream, baby?"

Kate shook her head, tears now trickling down her cheeks. "I-I gotta leave." She drew her hand back from Jay's hold to swipe it across her runny nose, "I gotta."

Jay reached out and wiped the tears away, but more replaced them quickly. "You don't have to go, kiddo, you can stay right here, with me and Mommy and Grandpa Hank."

"No, no, I _need_ to _leave,_ " Kate insisted, reached for the door again through her tears, "If I go, he won't hurt you anymore."

"He's not going to hurt us, baby," Erin promised, squatting down beside her partner, "We've got police inside and outside. We're all safe here."

Kate shook her head furiously, hand still clutching the knob, "He already got you and he's gonna kill you if I don't go. I can't let him hurt you again, I can't!" She promptly burst into tears, covering her face with her small palms, Tiger falling to the floor.

For the second time in less than 24 hours, Erin felt like she had taken a knife to the gut. Her poor little girl was trying to sacrifice herself so that the man who abused her wouldn't hurt her parents. "Oh, Squirt," Jay pulled his daughter into his arms and held her closely, "Paul Jackson can't get anywhere near us. You don't have to be with him, ever. We're your parents, it's our job to protect you."

"But-but it's my fault Mommy got hurt!" Kate pushed away from Jay's chest, "It's my fault!"

"No, sweetheart, it wasn't your fault at all. He was the one who hurt me," Erin ran a hand over Kate's hair, "He made that decision, not you."

"But he does it 'cause he wants me," Kate said flatly, wiping a hand across her face, "I heard him on the phone. And I know he could kill you cause I saw him kill lots of people." She hiccuped, "I don't want you guys to be h-hurt."

"Shh, baby." Erin brought her daughter closer to her, gently unzipping the winter coat and pushing it to the floor, "I know you've seen some horrible things, but you need to know that nothing that happened to me was your fault. I promise. I don't blame you and you do not have to go find Paul Jackson. No matter what, you are going to be with Jay and I."

"We won't even let you leave, Squirt." Jay tried to force a smile, "We want you to be here with us, okay? Please, please don't leave. It would hurt us more to lose you."

Kate sniffed loudly, "But-but what if he tries to hurt you? Or Grandpa Hank?" She glanced up at Erin, who was continually running a hand through the little girl's hair, "I-I-I don't want him to hurt Mommy like he hurt me!"

"He won't, baby, he won't," Erin tried to reassure her, "We're going to get him real soon and then you won't ever have to worry."

"I-I can't stop worryin'!" Kate exclaimed, more tears surfacing, "When-when I close my eyes I-I see him gettin' you and it makes my heart _hurt._ "

"Oh, my love." Erin wrapped her arms around the shaking child and brought her to her chest, holding her closely against Jay's old t shirt, "I know it hurts, I know."

"I-I-I just got a mommy and daddy, I c-c-can't let him kill you," Kate whimpered, her voice muffled as she pressed her face into Erin's shoulder, "I shouldn't have let you save me. T-then you wouldn't be hurt."

Jay sucked in a breath, completely overwhelmed by his daughter's statement. He glanced at Erin sadly, unsure of what he could do to make his little girl feel any better. The fact that she was able to connect Erin's concussion to them taking Kate into their home astounded Jay, as most children wouldn't have any idea. But Kate was incredibly gifted and Jay knew that in order to convince her that everything would be okay, he would have to tread carefully. "Kate, sweetheart, I know it seems like everything is really out of control right now, but you have to trust us, it is going to be okay very soon. It's okay to be worried and I know you've been through so much," Jay wrapped his arm around Erin's thin shoulders, "But Mommy is going to be absolutely fine. And we do _not_ regret bringing you home with us. It's the best decision we ever made and we are so thankful to have you in our lives," He swallowed thickly, "Please, _please_ , don't think that our lives would be better if we didn't meet you because that is not true."

"You saved us just the same, baby." Erin pressed a kiss atop Kate's head and reached up to wipe the tears that had slowly trickled down her partner's cheeks, "You have made us a family and you made Jay and I _parents._ "

Kate lifted her head off her mother's shoulder and met her watery gaze, "But if-if he gets me, then I _know_ you're safe." She held tighter to Erin, "I don't like to see you hurt."

"I know kiddo, I don't like it either," Jay ran a hand over Kate's head and wiped his eyes again, "But pretty soon Mommy's going to be all better. But if you left, we would hurt the most." He rested his head against Erin's, "When we thought we lost you in New York and after, when you got sick, those were some of the hardest days that Mommy and I ever had."

"If he got me, you would be more hurt?" Kate looked over at her father, who nodded solemnly.

"Yes, much more hurt," He smiled sadly, "Being your daddy has been the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I thought _Mommy_ was the best thing to ever happen to you," Kate told him seriously, earning a chuckle from both Erin and Jay.

"You and Mommy both," Jay nodded, smiling with joy now, "So we'd like you to stay, alright? And we'll get the bad guys and then everything is going to be okay."

"Okay," Kate said skeptically, "But he better not hurt you."

"Grandpa Hank is making sure of that," Erin reassured her, "How about we get you back to bed, hm? It's late."

"Not yet," Kate begged, looking pleadingly from her father to her mother, "I-I don't wanna close my eyes yet."

Jay and Erin exchanged knowing looks, "Okay, do you want to come snuggle with us on the couch for a bit? Maybe hear about Grandpa Hank's day?" Jay asked, "And you can tell him about what we did? The pancakes and snowman?"

Kate nodded and raised her arms so that Jay could lift her up. He gently removed the exhausted little girl from her mother's embrace and held her closely against his chest, relishing in her presence. Erin stood shakily, reaching out instinctively to Jay for support. "Careful, Er. Let's get you sitting down," Jay quickly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led his girls to the living room where Hank was still seated.

* * *

"Rough one, huh, kid?" Hank asked Jay, working on his second beer. He had retrieved one for the young detective as well, but Jay's was seated on the coffee table, condensation dripping onto the coaster. He had one arm around Erin's shoulders and Kate was seated between them, thankfully having fallen asleep after a few minutes of talking with her grandfather. Erin was awake, cuddled between Jay and arm of the couch. Will recommended literally icing her head, so she was shivering with the icepack atop her wavy locks. The icepack had been the reason Jay had thankfully ventured to the kitchen and caught Kate trying to leave, and he was incredibly relieved that he did so.

Jay just shook his head, unable to find the words to accurately describe what Kate had told him. "She, uh, tried to give herself back to him," he choked out finally, pinching the bridge between his eyes, "Because she didn't want us to get hurt."

Hank's mouth seemed to drop a little and he ran a hand over his chin in disbelief. "Wow," he mused, shifting his gaze to his granddaughter, "She heard the phone call?"

"Hearing it just added to how upset she was about Jackson cracking me in the head," Erin said, shuddering slightly as the icepack dampened her hair, "How long did Will say I have to do this?"

"Twenty minutes." Hank and Jay said in the same breath. She huffed in response and leaned dejectedly against the cushions.

"She literally said 'When I close my eyes, I see him getting you and it makes my heart hurt'," Jay told Hank, "And she's _four._ "

"Christ," Hank muttered, "Atwater said they're actually making headway which is good but that kid," he glanced down at his granddaughter again, "I can't believe how mature she is."

"She basically wanted to sacrifice herself," Erin murmured, "She was almost out the door." She turned to Jay, "If you hadn't been there…"

"I don't even want to think about it," Jay shook his head, "I _can't_ think about it." Had his little girl made it out of the house and traversed the city at night by herself, Jay wouldn't ever have been able to forgive himself. And had Jackson been able to find her...he didn't even want to consider the possibility of what could have happened to her.

"Wait til she's sixteen and sneaking out of the house to meet a boy," Hank said dryly, taking a long sip of his drink, "You really won't want to think about it then."

Jay groaned, "Oh my God."

Erin chuckled, "I only ever made it out once. And you were waiting for me when I got back," She smiled wistfully at her father-figure.

"Damn near put me in a grave," Hank said honestly, "When Camille went to check on you and Justin and you weren't in your bed..." He turned to Jay, "Grounded her for like two months."

"I really doubt Kate's going to be the type to sneak out at night," Jay grimaced at the thought, "At least, I hope not. Are we really going to be worrying about that in ten years?" He glanced over to Erin, who nodded knowingly.

"Better prepare yourself now. Especially if you've got a bunch of other rugrats running around, raising teenagers is not easy." Hank gestured his head toward Erin, emphasizing what a difficult teen she was to raise.

Jay smiled sadly, gently rubbing Erin's shoulder with his fingers. "Actually, uh, Hank, I found out the other day that I um, can't actually have kids," She gave him a watery look, tears already filling her eyes after disclosing her news to the man who had taken her in. Somehow telling him made it feel more permanent, more real and less of a problem that was hers and Jay's.

Hank raised his eyebrows in surprise, his face softening, "Oh, kiddo, I'm sorry," He reached a hand out and squeezed her knee sympathetically, "Are you alright?"

"I'm not sick or anything," she reassured him, "Just a consequence of hanging out with drug dealers and popping pills when I was a kid," A tear slipped down her cheek, "I uh, didn't realize it was something I wanted, so I guess that's what hurts."

"You're keeping an eye on her?" Hank look sharply to Jay, who snapped his head to attention and nodded furiously.

"Jay's been great," Erin said quickly, removing the cold pack from her head and setting it on the armrest, "And we're okay," she tried to offer a smile, "Just you know, taking it in strides."

Jay kissed her temple gently, "The good news is, Erin is healthy and on the mend."

Hank leaned back against the armchair, relaxing at the news that his daughter wasn't gravely ill. "You know, there are other ways to make a family," he started, looking over to the little girl still snoozing between her parents, "It takes time." Hank took another thoughtful sip of his beverage, "When you came to live with us," he swallowed, unable to finish the sentence, "You're part of this family Erin. We didn't know it for fifteen years, but when you moved in, we knew."

Tears slid down Erin's cheeks as Jay stroked her hair comfortingly. "Thanks, Hank," she whispered, nestling closer to her baby and her partner.

"You really should be in bed, kiddo." Hank told her, switching back his gruffer, more authoritative voice. He eyed his detective, who appeared shaky and grey despite being seated on the couch.

"I'm fine," Erin replied tiredly, making no moves to get off the couch and separate herself from the cozy snuggle situation, "Really."

"You're pale, babe," Jay said gently, tucking loose hair behind her ear, "It may feel good to just lay down."

"Of course I'm pale, Jay," Erin wrinkled her nose, "We live in _Chicago._ "

"You know what I mean," Jay continued to lightly stroke her hair, "Come on, let's get you and Kate into bed."

"I don't wanna sleep without Daddy," Kate's tired voice mumbled, apparently having been woken by her parent's shuffling.

"I'll be right down the hall, Squirt." Jay gently shifted the sleepy little girl so that she was resting against his chest, "We're safe here, I promise. And you'll be with Mommy."

"Mommy doesn't want to sleep without you e-der," Kate whispered, turning her head to face her mother. Erin smiled tiredly. She indeed did not want to go to sleep without her partner, but she didn't want to piss off her almost-father. The second rule of living in his house when she was fifteen had been 'No boys upstairs', which was preceded by 'no drugs'.

Erin looked over to Hank pleadingly, silently willing him to grant her boyfriend permission to share her bed with her and their daughter. She watched while he pondered the idea, but eventually caved with a sigh. "Just this once."

"No funny business," Kate told him, smiling sleepily. Jay chuckled and stood, offering a hand to help his girl off the couch while balancing his daughter on his hip.

"C'mon, we could all use a good night sleep, huh?" He guided Erin toward the steps, standing behind her as she climbed slowly through her tiredness.

"Night, Hank," She called over her shoulder.

"Sleep well, kiddo." Hank replied, switching on the television and settling back in his chair.

* * *

"I'm glad I didn't go," Kate murmured, resting comfortably directly atop her father's chest. Like the night before, Erin was cuddled into Jay's side with her arm draped over her little girl's back. Jay had one arm keeping his girl close and the other over Kate, fingertips lightly touching Erin's back. Despite the situation, Jay felt incredibly content in the small bed. His toes were sticking out from under the comforter because Erin had it pulled up to her chin and there was barely room to move, but everything in the old bedroom felt right.

"We're glad too, baby," Erin lazily cracked open her drooping eyelids and stroked the top of her daughter's head, "We are so, so glad to have you here with us."

"How's your head, babe?" Jay asked, gently rubbing her back with his fingertips, "Lying down helping at all?"

"Mm," Erin replied, eyes closing again, "Just being here with you is helping." She yawned, "I can't believe Hank broke the 'no boys' rule. I mean, that rule was iron clad from the day I moved in."

"Well, when an adorable little girl asks, it's different," Jay smiled, tilting his head slightly, "Besides, I can't believe you ever got a guy to come around here. Voight's quite a guard dog."

"I had my ways," Erin teased, "But nobody ever made it over the threshold. You were the first."

"I bet you say that to all the boys," Jay joked, threading his fingers carefully through her hair.

"Nuh-uh. You were the first." She lifted her head and pressed a kiss on her boyfriend's shoulder, "And I'm glad it was you."

"Me too, babe." Jay returned the kiss atop her head and settled back against the pillows. Kate was breathing deeply now, fast asleep on Jay's chest. Tiger was tucked under her chin and had been the only stuffed animal to make it out of the apartment unscathed by Jackson, as the toy had been left in Jay and Erin's bed. "But we'll be home soon, and then we'll be in our bedroom where the window doesn't shake and the bed's big enough for three."

Erin smiled tiredly, "We gotta get her some new stuffed animals. Mr. Shark, Lion and Giraffe all didn't make it."

"Tomorrow," Jay promised, "I'm going to swing by there tomorrow to see how everything's going. And I'll get a few things at the store on the way back, sound good?"

"You're such a good daddy," Erin mumbled, lifting one arm to cup her partner's scruffy cheek, "And talking to Hank got me thinking about us and Kate and our future as a family…" She exhaled, "And I know that no matter what, if you're here, we're gonna be just fine. And maybe when I'm not concussed and we're not hiding out from some crazy sociopath, we could talk a little bit more about growing our family?"

Jay kissed the top of Erin's head again and inhaled deeply, "We'll take it a day at a time. Figure out what's best for you and for Kate and for our family, okay?" She nodded and nestled closer, shutting her eyes and slowly succumbing to sleep.

* * *

 **Thanks again for your patience! I am just editing the next chapter, so if I get some more fabulous feedback it'll be up sooner ;) hint hint.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Little bit of family cuteness in the next few chapters because I thought it would be warranted before everything else I have planned :) I was _super motivated_ by all the amazing reviews and got a bunch written/edited this weekend SO hopefully updates will be way more consistent. Let me know if you like it!  
**

* * *

"We goin' home?" Kate asked brightly, glancing over to the duffle bags that sat at the bottom of Hank's staircase. After three days of holing up in her grandfather's house, the little girl was itching to do something that wasn't a coloring sheet or board game. Erin was arguably even more stir-crazy, having been relegated to the couch for most of the hours of the day. Hank had been practically forcing Jay to stay back and keep an eye on his girls, a task he was happy to do but also frustrated him because he couldn't be out in the field at the same time.

"Sorry, Squirt, we're gonna be here a few more days. I'm just going back to pick up more of your medicine and some clothes for us," Jay grimaced as the little girl's face fell. While she was happy to stay with Hank, she had definitely picked up on Erin's irritation with being kept inside and had since become anxious around both her mother and grandfather. They had been grumbling at each other for the past few days, much to the amusement of Jay. He did his best to stay out of it, but was definitely on Hank's side in regards to Erin taking it slowly and not taxing her already injured head.

Kate wrinkled her nose and looked up at her father expectantly, "But Grandpa Hank's _grumpy_ with Mommy."

"But he's not grumpy with you," Hank piped up, making his way down the steps, "What do you say you and I take a trip to the aquarium while your mom takes a little nap, huh?"

"Really?" Kate squealed, bouncing up and down on the bottom stair, "The aquarium? Again?"

"Doesn't that sound like fun, kiddo?" Jay asked, slinging the empty duffle over his shoulder. Kate nodded furiously, barely able to contain her excitement. He smiled at his boss gratefully, thankful that his little girl would be safe and that his partner would be able to rest.

"Grandpa Hank, can we see the sharks _and_ the seals?"

"Mm-hm, and maybe the octopuses as well, how does that sound?" Hank's eyes twinkled as Kate practically launched herself into his arms.

"So good!" She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck and leaned back so she could look him in the eye, "But we gotta skip the pe-gwins. They're Mommy's favorite and we can't go without her."

"Good idea," Hank agreed, "Jay, is she sleeping?"

"No," Erin grunted, taking a few steps down the stairs, fully dressed in a pair of jeans and a long sleeve t shirt, "I've been sleeping for three days. I can't sleep anymore."

"Going somewhere?" Jay raised his eyebrows at his girl, who was heading for her boots determinedly.

"The district," She replied, slipping a black boot on her left foot. "I'm tired of being cooped up here."

"You really shouldn't be driving, babe," Jay said gently, exchanging looks with his boss, who appeared to be getting increasingly irritated as his almost-daughter acted against medical advice, "Not until we go back to Med tomorrow at least."

"Ugh," Erin groaned, pausing zipping up her right boot, "I'm _fine._ "

"You wanna come to the 'quarium with us?" Kate asked hopefully, glancing from her mother to her grandfather, "Grandpa Hank's takin' me. We could see the pe-gwins 'cause I know you like them."

"What do you say, kiddo?" Hank shifted Kate slightly on his hip, "You still get to get out and you get to see the animals." He winked at the little girl, who nodded in agreement.

"And den you can be with me!" Kate grinned widely.

"I guess I can't say no to that," Erin smiled tiredly at her little girl, "Alrighty. Let's get you changed and then we can go, hm?"

"Yes!" Kate wriggled so Hank would set her down and bounded up the stairs, Erin following behind slowly.

"You think she's gonna be okay?" Jay asked, glancing worriedly after his girl. He adjusted the duffle bag on his shoulder, "I mean, I won't be gone long. She really should sleep."

"I know kid," Hank put a hand on the young detective's shoulder, "But there's no changing her mind. She was going to leave, I figured it would just be better if she was with one of us." He smiled, "I'll keep an eye out, don't worry."

"Okay, then, if it's alright by you, I'm going to stop by the district for a bit. See where things are at with Sarah Harding's murder. I'll just meet you guys back here."

Hank nodded, "I don't think we'll be at the aquarium for very long."

* * *

"Grandpa Hank, look, sharks!" Kate cried, pointing ecstatically at the large glass tank filled with prehistoric beasts. She was holding Erin's hand, practically pulling her mother along as they ventured throughout the large aquarium, stopping at all Kate's favorite exhibits. "Wow!"

"Are they still your favorite?" Hank asked knowingly. He absolutely adored taking his granddaughter to the aquarium because every time she was so excited. Even though they had been just over a week ago, Kate could barely contain herself.

"Yes!" Kate exclaimed, glancing up at the animals swimming above her head, "They are so big. And even though they _look_ scary, Miss Carlson says they're peas-ful, right Mommy?"

"Mm-hm," Erin hummed absently, blinking slowly. The florescent lighting in the aquarium was not making her head feel great, but Kate's excitement made it all worth it, "These guys are the nurse sharks. It's the Tiger sharks you gotta be careful of."

"And the bully sharks," Kate informed her, "While you were napping yesterday me and Daddy watched a doc-a-menery on those guys."

Erin smiled down at her clever little girl, "Did Daddy get you into documentaries as well?"

Kate nodded, "Sometimes when you're sleepin' and me and Daddy can't sleep we watch them til I get sleepy," She smiled up at her mother, "We like the science ones best."

"I didn't know that," Erin ran a hand over her daughter's head, "Daddy lets you stay up late and watch documentaries?"

"Only sometimes if I get scared," Kate explained, "And sometimes I get too scared to go to bed, so we stay on the couch instead."

"Huh." Erin had no idea that her partner stayed up late with their little girl when she was too scared to sleep. The nights Kate woke up in their bed after Jay had comforted her she had always assumed it was resolved quickly, but Kate's anecdote suggested otherwise.

"He's a good father," Hank mused, glancing up at the aquatic creatures and then over to Erin. She nodded in agreement, watching as her little girl carefully read the sign explaining the sharks.

"He's an amazing dad," Erin confirmed, stifling a yawn, "He just knows exactly what to do."

"We seein' the nemo fish too, Mommy?" Kate asked hopefully, looking up at her mother with wide eyes.

"Of course," Erin smiled, blinking slowly. They had already seen the penguin exhibit as well as the seals, but a trip to the aquarium was not complete without a visit to the tropical fish.

"You gonna be alright?" Hank asked, placing his rough palm on her shoulder. His almost-daughter had gotten increasingly shaky on her feet as they ventured through the aquarium. They had been standing for around 90 minutes, far longer than Erin had been used to since her concussion three days ago.

"Yeah, yeah." Erin waved her hand flippantly. "Okay baby, lead the way."

Hank let out an exasperated sigh but followed the mother and daughter down the corridor toward the collection of tropical fish. "There's so many," Kate's eyes were like saucers as she observed the variety of fish swimming in the massive glass tanks. The Chicago aquarium's exhibits were all incredible, but this one was done especially well. There must have been several thousand different fish, all swimming around as fast as their fins would take them.

"Mm," Hank nodded, peering around at the exhibit, "There are a lot of them. How many can you count, kiddo?"

"There's too many!" Kate exclaimed, letting out a giggle when she realized her grandfather was kidding, "But I bet there's a fou-sand of them."

"I think you're right," Hank tickled her shoulder and she giggled again, "How many do you think there are Erin?" He turned to his detective expectantly when she didn't immediately reply.

"Mommy?" Kate looked up at her mother urgently, quickly gathering that something wasn't right. Her mother had gotten extremely pale and her eyes were closed as she stood in front of the fish tank, willing herself not to plummet to the floor.

"I'm okay," Erin croaked, cracking her eyes open, "I just got dizzy for a second."

"We need to get you home, kid." Hank said gently, taking Kate's hand from Erin's and wrapping an arm around his almost daughter who was now incredibly uneasy on her feet. He quickly led them to the exit, bypassing the jellyfish and sea turtles. Kate didn't protest, repeatedly looking nervously to her mother as they hastened down the hallways.

"I'm good now," Erin breathed, taking a sharp inhalation after they slowed to a stop outside the exit, "Really. It passed,"

" _You_ almost passed out in the fish exhibit," Hank informed her, handing the tokens to the coat check person and receiving their jackets. He quickly bundled up the anxious child before helping Erin and leading them out the front door.

"I didn't," Erin tried, shivering as the sharp Chicago wind assaulted her when the double automatic exit doors opened, "I-" Her protesting ceased as she doubled over and vomited onto the street, coughing violently.

"Kiddo," Hank murmured sympathetically, carefully hoisting her up with one arm while still holding the hand of the now-incredibly nervous little girl, "What were you saying about being fine?"

"Ugh," Erin grumbled in response, stumbling into her father figure as they crossed the parking lot to the Escalade. He held her closer, trying to keep the trembling detective upright.

"C-can we call Daddy?" Kate asked her grandfather as he hurriedly buckled her into the car seat. The poor little girl's eyes were wet with unshed tears, clearly disturbed by her mother being ill, "He knows what to do."

"We're going to meet him at my house, okay?" Hank placed a reassuring hand on her little knees, "Don't worry, sweetheart."

* * *

Thankfully, Hank made it back to his house without Erin getting sick in the car. He had placed a plastic bag in her lap and instructed her to tell him if she was going to be sick so he could pull over, but luckily the second he pulled onto the highway she was asleep. Mid-afternoon traffic of people trying to get home for the long President's Day weekend made the journey much longer, and Kate fell asleep in the back despite her anxiety. A trip to the aquarium or the zoo always exhausted the little girl, as she was so overwhelmed with excitement that when there was finally time to rest, she was down for the count.

Hank hadn't been able to text Jay and wasn't about to try while on the highway with precious cargo, so he figured he would just give him a call once both girls were settled upstairs. As it happened, Jay pulled in right behind the Escalade as Hank slowed to a stop outside his home. "How'd it go?" He asked, shutting the driver's side door to the Sierra.

The older man gestured to the sleeping child in the backseat and then to Erin, who was leaning against the window, plastic bag in her lap. "We lasted about an hour and a half before Erin got sick. Damn nearly passed out in the tropical fish section. Made it to the parking lot before she vomited."

"She got _sick_?" Jay asked worriedly, glancing nervously over to his girl who was still sleeping soundly, "Shit. I _knew_ I shouldn't have let her go."

"Wasn't your fault, kid," Hank reassured him, "She was going to get out of the house either way. I think she knows now she really needs to rest and let her head heal." He turned back to the car door, "I can take the kid upstairs, you wanna get her?"

Jay nodded and watched as Hank carefully removed a sleeping Kate from her car seat and held her closely in his arms. His gruff sergeant tenderly carried the little girl up the steps and into his house, leaving Jay to take his girl. "Erin, babe," Jay carefully stroked back the wisps of hair that had escaped her ponytail.

"Mm, Jay?" Erin turned her head and glanced up at her partner with glassy eyes, "Hi."

"Hi, yourself." Jay gently cupped her cheek with his hand, "Let's get you upstairs, hm? You and Kate can take a nice nap. And don't try to tell me you're fine, because Hank already told me about you nearly passing out and puking in the parking lot."

"Ugh," Erin groaned, clumsily disembarking from the Escalade. She accepted the support from her partner as he led her up the icy steps and into the warm house. "I'm good now."

"Yeah right," Jay scoffed, continuing to lead her up the steps to the second floor, "This isn't up for debate, babe."

* * *

After getting both Erin and Kate settled, Jay and Hank retreated to the kitchen to discuss the case. Paul Jackson was incredibly skilled at evading the police, but the state was building a huge case against Peter Jackson for the possession of child pornography. Despite tracing Jackson's cell, Atwater and Ruzek had been unable to find a direct location.

Sarah Harding's murder was a result of asphyxiation and according to the medical examiner, had likely taken place prior to entering Erin and Jay's apartment. The dirt beneath her fingernails indicated that she may have been killed by the lake, as there was bits of sand there as well. Although there had been progress, Jay was increasingly frustrated that the main perpetrator was still at large. Joseph Pierce, who was up in Statesville for the next decade, had refused to speak, providing the CPD with no leads or hints as to where his old boss may be.

"They said we can probably go back home in a few days," Jay informed Hank, greedily drinking from the cup of coffee that his sergeant had brewed, "All the evidence has been bagged so Kate's room is basically bare but that actually might not be such a bad thing considering."

"Hm," Hank mused, "Gotta be honest with you kid, I'd rather you three stay here at least for a little while longer. I don't like the idea of him knowing where to find you."

"I-we wouldn't want to intrude," Jay started, but Hank held up his hand.

"Jay, you're family now. And you obviously make my girl very happy, so I'm happy to have you three stay here as long as you need. Plus it's nice to hear little feet running around again," He glanced up at the ceiling, having heard Kate's light footsteps pitter-pattering down the hallway.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he wouldn't have to bring his girls back to an apartment where a dead woman was found a few days prior and where his girlfriend had been knocked unconscious by a deranged sociopath. "Thanks Hank."

"Don't mention it," Hank took a slow sip of his coffee and peered over Jay's shoulder, "Hi kiddo."

"Hi," Kate mumbled, slowly approaching the kitchen table. Jay turned around in his chair and smiled widely at his daughter who was rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Did you have a nice nap, Squirt?" Jay asked, hoisting her up and holding her close against his chest.

"Uh-huh," Kate breathed and glanced around the kitchen, "Where's Mommy?"

"She wasn't sleeping with you?" Hank asked, hastily setting his coffee mug down on the table, brown liquid sloshing over the sides. Kate shook her head, eyes growing wide in fear. Hank raised his eyebrows at Jay, who immediately sprang to his feet, Kate in his arms.

"Stay right here." Jay instructed, placing her on his chair. Hank hurried to the living room while Jay sprinted up the steps, two at a time, both men desperately searching for their girl. "Erin!" He shouted, throwing open the bedroom door and glancing around urgently. The covers were rumpled and the bed was unmade, but Erin was not there. She wasn't in Justin's bedroom either, nor was she in Hank's. "Erin!" Jay's mind went to the worst when he couldn't find her. What if she had been kidnapped? What if she had passed out? What if…

A soft groan drew Jay's attention to the slightly ajar bathroom door. "Er?" Jay called out, more gently this time. He pushed open the door slowly and winced at the sight in front of him. His poor girl was slumped against the toilet with her back against the tub, head resting on an arm that gripped the bowl with shaking fingers. "Oh, no, babe."

"Guess I'm not fine," Erin choked out, lifting her head slightly, "My head is fucking killing me."

Jay crouched gingerly beside his girlfriend, sweeping wisps of hair off her face. "You're dizzy?"

"Mm," Erin replied sluggishly, leaning forward to dry heave into the bowl again. Jay grimaced and placed a hand on her back, rubbing slow circles, "Nauseous. Feel like my insides are-" She retched again.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I shouldn't have let you go to the aquarium. Your body wasn't ready." Jay felt incredibly guilty that his girl was feeling so poorly. She had been so determined earlier, and now appeared so broken. Erin grasped his hand with cold, quivering fingers and squeezed tightly.

"Wasn't your fault," she mumbled, coughing weakly and lifting her head up, "I was being stubborn."

"You were," Jay nodded in agreement, hand ghosting over her head, "How about we get you into bed again? Maybe get that icepack on your head?"

"I'm sorry," Tears welled in Erin's eyes as she regarded her partner with a glassy gaze, "I'm sorry."

"Shh," Jay gently kissed her temple, "Will's coming by in a bit to check you out, okay? Why don't you take a rest for now, see if that helps?"

"Mm," She managed, head dropping down to her chest in defeat.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Kate bounded up the steps as fast as her little legs would carry her, desperately searching for her mother. Hank was at her heels, pushing open the doors as he made his way down the hallway after the little girl.

"She's okay, Squirt," Jay called, rubbing Erin's forehead with soft fingers, "We're in the bathroom."

Kate breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she saw her parents on the floor of Hank's bathroom, thankful that her mother hadn't left the house. "Christ, Erin," Hank uttered, standing behind the small child, "She alright?" He looked to Jay, who appeared incredibly concerned but also relieved to be so close to his girl. "Do we need to take her to Med?"

"I think she's gonna be fine," Jay gave a small smile, continuing to massage Erin's aching head. She leaned into his touch, eyes at half mast, "Just got a little sick, probably from all the activity."

"We get Mommy an icepack?" Kate looked up at her grandfather worriedly.

"That's a great idea, Squirt." Jay beamed at his daughter's thoughtfulness, "Can you and Grandpa Hank get an icepack and some water for Mommy while I get her settled in bed?"

The little girl nodded and accepted Hank's hand to venture back down to the kitchen. Jay turned back to his girlfriend, her eyes struggling to stay open, "Can we get you back into bed now, babe?"

"Yeah," Erin sighed tiredly, pushing herself away from the porcelain bowl. She leaned against Jay has he helped her to shaky feet before reaching below her knees and cradling her against his chest. "I can walk," she mumbled, her voice carrying little conviction as she sagged against her boyfriend.

"I know, I just wanted to hold you close," Jay breathed against her neck, "I'm really worried about you, Er." He made his way down the hall and to her old bedroom, carefully setting her down on the unmade bed. He covered her with the blanket and perched on the edge of the mattress, unwilling to separate himself from his girl. Jay reached out and continued to gently massage her aching head, Erin eliciting quiet moans of approval.

"Feels good," she mumbled, reaching a hand out from beneath the covers and touching Jay's chest, "Sorry."

"You can stop apologizing babe. Just focus on getting better, okay?" Jay tucked some loose hair behind her ear, "Are you still dizzy?"

"Less. Not so nauseous anymore," Erin cracked open her eyes, "The light in the aquarium made me feel really sick."

"Mm," Jay mused, going back to his gentle ministrations, "Well, hopefully a dark room and a nap will help with the pain. I think Hank and Kate are bringing up an ice pack as well."

"We got ginger-ale too," Kate whispered, quietly slipping into the darkened bedroom bearing an icepack wrapped in a tea towel and an empty glass. Hank followed behind the little girl, armed with a can of ginger ale, glass of water and a packet of saltines.

"Good idea, Squirt." Jay praised, motioning for her to come a little closer to the bed.

"You feelin' better, Mommy?" Kate asked, handing her father the icepack. He placed it atop Erin's head, causing the young detective to shiver.

"I am, baby." She managed a small smile, "I'm going to take a nap for a bit, and I think Daddy said that Uncle Will's going to come by a little later."

"Good," Kate exhaled, "He can make you feel better. And maybe after he can read some stories!"

"I bet he would love to do that," Jay smiled, looking over to Hank as he set the ginger ale, water and saltines on the bedside table. "I'll be down in a few minutes and we can figure out something to do for the rest of the afternoon, sound good?"

Kate wrinkled her brow, "You gotta stay with Mommy." She glanced over at her mother, who was tiredly attempting to keep her eyes open. "I'll be okay Daddy, promise."

"How about a game of chutes and ladders, kiddo?" Hank piped up, nodding toward Jay to indicate that he would be fine with the little girl.

She nodded, slipping her hand in Hank's. "Wait. Can I give Mommy a hug?"

"I would love a hug," Erin reached her hand out, breathing in the sweet scent of her baby as she held her, "Thanks for being such a good girl. I love you."

"I love you too," Kate murmured, resting her head gently against Erin's chest as she hugged her, "I want you to get better soon."

"I will baby," Erin promised, "You guys are taking such good care of me, I'll be all good in no time."


	32. Chapter 32

**Aaaaaaaand another family chapter to generate some good karma. Stay tuned and please review!**

* * *

"We really should get out of Hank's hair," Erin mused, rubbing Jay's chest lightly as they lay snuggled in Erin's childhood bed. Following her nap, Erin was feeling infinitely better. Kate had instructed Jay to stay with Erin, which he was glad to do. He felt better being close to her, considering everything that had happened in the past few days. "There's already patrol outside our apartment. If Jackson tried anything, we'd get him."

"You really want to go back so soon?" Jay raised his eyebrows skeptically, "I mean, Kate's room isn't a crime scene anymore but you also got bashed over the head."

Erin sighed, snuggling in closer to her partner. Jay was laying atop the blankets while she was burrowed underneath, a result of being absolutely frozen by the icepack that was now resting on the floor beside the bed. "I don't know. It's our _home_ , Jay. And as much as I like having you sneak in here every night and leave in the morning, I want to be back in _our_ bed and on _our_ couch and in _our_ shower."

"Now you're just rattling off places where we like to do it," Jay joked, earning a soft swat on his pectorals from Erin. "I'm kidding."

"You're so not," Erin scoffed, turning her face into his neck, "I just want to go home. And even though Kate likes hanging out with Hank, I think she wants to go back too. Hiding out isn't something we do really."

"I know, babe." Jay pressed his lips against her forehead, "I guess I just like the idea of knowing that you're safe. And that Kate's safe."

"I just want it to be over," Erin whispered, "I guess I thought that maybe if he knew where we were, he'd do something stupid and then we could get him."

"Me too." He threaded his fingers through her hair, toying with the idea of returning back to their apartment, "What if we give it another day? Tomorrow evening maybe we go check it out, and if it feels right, then we stay? Wait a little bit until you're feeling a bit better."

"That sounds like a plan," Erin replied, wrapping her arm tighter around her partner. The couple stayed like that until Jay heard the familiar sound of Will slamming his car door shut.

"Will's here to take a look at your head, babe," Jay said softly, scratching her scalp gently in an attempt to rise her from her sleepy state, "And maybe we could get something to eat, too?"

"But I'm comfy," Erin mumbled, not removing her face from her partner's neck, "Can't we just let him sweat it out with Hank for a few minutes?"

Jay chuckled, hearing the doorbell and the pitter-patter of Kate's footsteps, followed by Voight's longer strides. A joyous "Uncle Will!" echoed up the stairs. "I'm not sure, I think Kate will diffuse the situation," Jay carefully unwound his arm from Erin's shoulder and sat up, receiving a grunt in annoyance. "Come on babe, the sooner Will looks at your head, the sooner you can go back to sleep."

"Fine," Erin pouted, sitting up and gingerly getting to her feet, extremely grateful the room had stopped spinning.

"Be nice," Jay warned her jokingly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder after picking up the melted ice pack from the floor. He received a pat to the chest in response as he helped his girl down the hallway.

* * *

"Uncle Will, I'm so glad you came!" Kate exclaimed after Hank had opened the door and let the redheaded doctor over the threshold. He grinned widely and scooped her up in his arms, holding her tightly.

"I'm glad to see you too," Will tickled her gently, causing the little girl to giggle, "Maybe when it gets a little warmer you and I should take a trip to the zoo again, does that sound like fun?"

"Yes!" Kate squealed, "I went to the aquarium with Grandpa Hank and Mommy today!" Her voice dropped, "But then Mommy got _sick._ " She wrinkled her nose at the memory, "You gonna make her feel better?"

"She got sick?" Will raised his eyebrows, "Well, I'll see what's going on and do my best, okay Monkey?" He tickled her again.

"I'm…not…a monkey!" Kate giggled, her arms wrapped tightly around Will's neck as he tickled her mercilessly. She squealed again as he poked her in the ribs, eliciting a shriek. "I'm Kate!"

"I don't know, I think you're a monkey," Will teased, swinging the little girl around and jostling her up in the air, "You certainly smell like one."

"No I don't!" Kate laughed, reaching a hand out to touch Will's cheek. He balanced her on his hip and looked expectantly at the little girl, "How come you're all scruffly like Daddy?"

"Well, I haven't been home in a while," Will told her, "I've been very busy at the hospital and didn't have time to shave this morning."

"Daddy forgets to shave a lot but he says it's cause Mommy like it," Kate informed her uncle, not noticing how Hank immediately exited the room with a grimace.

"I bet Nat likes it too," Jay joked, descending the stairs with his arm around Erin's shoulder.

"Dr. Manning's not mad at you no more?" Kate looked up at her uncle, recalling the time before Christmas when Natalie was pissed off at Will, "Did you 'pologize?"

"I did," Heat rose to Will's cheeks and he shot a look to his brother before focusing his gaze on his patient, "How's the head, Erin?"

"Been better," Erin grumbled, taking a seat on the couch. She was squinting slightly at the light in the living room but managed a smile at her little girl, still on her uncle's hip. "What did you and Hank do, baby?"

"We made lah-zanya," Kate said seriously, "I put the noodles in."

"That sounds good," Erin actually had an appetite, "Okay, Halstead, let's get this over with."

Jay rolled his eyes at his brother and reached his arms out to take his daughter out of the doctor's hands, "What do you say we go help Grandpa Hank with dinner?"

"Is Uncle Will gonna play with me after he helps Mommy?" Kate asked as Jay carried her to the kitchen, "I didn't get to show him poker last time."

"Maybe," Jay chuckled, "But maybe a game of Clue might be better. I don't think Will would like it if you beat him at gambling."

* * *

Will had advised another round of a cold packs on Erin's head, in addition to some low-grade ibuprofen that would help with the continued headache. She managed to eat a bit of lasagna that Hank and Kate made (which was Camille's recipe and delicious), and after Erin and Jay retreated to the couch. Will and Kate sat on the living room floor, building a castle out of Legos from a kit that he brought for the little girl. "Uncle Will, I met your daddy a couple of days ago," Kate said nonchalantly, delicately placing a Lego piece atop the structure they were building.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, looking up to his brother who nodded, "You did?"

"Uh-huh. He came to Sergeant Platt's desk lookin' for Daddy." Kate shrugged her shoulders, "But I didn't talk to him 'cause I didn't know if it was okay."

"Did you talk to him?" Will asked his little brother.

Jay shook his head, "No, I wasn't at the district. Did _you_ tell him about Kate?"

"Your news to share, not mine," Will said, placing another Lego atop the one Kate laid, "I don't think he has any idea that you have a girlfriend, let alone a kid. He did ask about you last time I stopped by. Mentioned that he wanted to talk."

"Well, now's not such a great time," Jay said dryly, gesturing to Erin, who had her eyes closed on his shoulder, "I'm a little preoccupied." He paused, realizing that his clever little girl would probably pick up on his distaste for his father, "I should call him though."

"Am I gonna meet him?" Kate asked quietly, looking uncertainly to each Halstead brother.

Jay and Will exchanged looks, unsure of how to answer. "Maybe we could go out for ice cream with him or something," Jay suggested slowly, as Will shrugged noncommittally, "I haven't seen him since Thanksgiving though, but maybe in a few weeks? I think he should meet Erin as well."

"She does seem to have the ability to make grumpy old men more tolerable," Will mused, "Voight is exhibit A."

"Who are you calling grumpy, Halstead?" Hank barked, emerging stealthily from the kitchen. He caused the redheaded doctor to practically jump out of his skin and whip his head around toward the gruff man's raspy voice. Kate gave her uncle a knowing look and Jay snickered, fully understanding how terrifying it was to be on the other end of Hank's scolding.

"Apologizes, sir," Will choked, heat rising in his cheeks as he refocused his attention on the castle.

"I've got an icepack for Erin," Hank handed Jay a cold pack that was wrapped in a thin towel, "And a good mind to teach your brother a lesson."

"Uh-oh, Uncle Will, you better say sorry," Kate looked at him nervously, "Odder-wise Grandpa Hank's gonna put you in the _cage_."

"Will's not going in the cage, kiddo," Hank promised, realizing his error. Kate, though she had come a long way in her ability to trust people, was still unsure about Voight's aggression tactics after overhearing snippets of conversation about 'the cage'. "Only bad guys go in the cage."

"He's not bad, Squirt. Grandpa Hank was just kidding," Jay reassured her after she looked to him anxiously.

Kate breathed a soft sigh of relief, then looked up at Hank curiously, "You gonna put Mr. P in the cage though, right?"

Hank sank down to the ground in front of the little girl, ignoring the protests of his knees and hips, "We're gonna skip the cage and put him right in jail. So he won't ever hurt you ever again."

"And he won't get Mommy e-der?" Kate asked, glancing over to her mother who was dozing lightly on Jay's shoulder despite the icepack that was making her shiver.

"Nope," Hank smiled and ran a hand over her head.

She sighed in relief again. "You wanna help me and Uncle Will build the castle?"

"I would love to," Hank sat cross legged on the living room floor and helped the little girl place Legos on the existing structure. Jay sat on the couch, holding the icepack in place on Erin's head, entirely amused that his big brother and the badass vigilante cop who happened to be his boss and girlfriend's father were sitting on the floor playing with Legos.

* * *

"Babe?" Erin whispered, lightly stroking Jay's cheek as they laid in bed. He had fallen asleep some time ago, flat on his back in Erin's old bed, basically using Kate as a blanket as Erin had accidentally hijacked three quarters of the comforter, "Jay."

"Mm?" Jay lazily opened his eyes and peered expectantly down at his girl, who was resting her head on his chest, one hand draped over Kate who had koala-ed herself on her father, "Are you okay? Do you feel bad?" He widened his eyes after realizing where he was and that Erin had been ill earlier in the day, "Are you going to get sick?"

"I'm fine," Erin replied, "I'm sorry I woke you up." She touched his cheek again, "Go back to sleep."

"No, what is it?" Jay asked, more awake now, "Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Uh-huh. I was just thinking about what happened," Erin shuddered slightly, Jay bringing her in closer, "When Jackson hit me."

"Do you remember something?" Jay asked sharply, a pit of anxiety forming in his stomach. He was already starting to get worked up just thinking about the man who hurt his family, but if he had touched Erin like he did Kate, Jay was going to kill him.

"No, no, I was knocked out cold," Erin murmured, "I was just thinking about how he left me in the apartment, when he could have easily dragged my unconscious body somewhere or killed me right then and there." She shivered again, "But he didn't."

"He's a sociopath, Er," Jay said gently, caressing her back lightly with his fingertips, "There's not a reason behind why he does something."

"I think he left me because he thinks that he's going to get Kate," Erin whispered, tears filling her eyes, "And he knew that if he killed me or took me away, she'd never forgive him. But he left me because he still thinks that he's got a shot at taking our little girl away." The tears trickled down her cheeks, dripping onto Jay's bare chest.

"Babe," Jay cooed, "He's not going to get her. And you're going to be okay. We're together," He gestured to Kate's position on his chest with his right hand, "We're safe."

"I know," Erin sniffed, turning her face against Jay's shoulder, "I just can't stop thinking about it. The 'what if'."

Wordlessly, Jay pressed his lips atop Erin's head and inhaled deeply. He didn't have an answer for his girl. "I feel the same way. I couldn't bear to lose you, either of you." He swallowed, kissing her head again. "And I'm still worried about that precious head of yours."

"Will said I'd be fine in a few days," Erin replied, "You've got enough stuff on your mind. We gotta focus on getting Jackson off the street. Make that the priority."

"He _hurt_ you, Erin." Jay swallowed again, "And _you're_ my priority. You and Kate. So I'm going to worry about you until I'm blue in the face, and then when you're better I'll worry some more, okay? Because I love you so much, and no matter what, I'm going to worry."

"I love you," Erin mumbled, "Thank you for taking such good care of me."

"You've been there for me. I've always got your back babe, no matter what."

* * *

Jay had a guy for everything. A TV guy, a hockey-tickets guy, a couch guy…the list went on and on. What he didn't have was a 're-do a little girl's bedroom that had been destroyed by a deranged sociopathic nutjob' guy. While Hank stayed back at the house with Erin and Kate on the holiday weekend Monday, Jay ventured to the apartment to assess the damage of Kate's bedroom.

He wasn't sure if it was a blessing that all of Kate's stuffed animals and artwork that had been destroyed were now bagged in an evidence locker. On the one hand, it was less mess, on the other, Kate's room was extraordinarily bare. He knew that she would probably be spending the next couple nights in his and Erin's bed, but Jay still wanted her bedroom to be ready for when she needed it.

And so, Detective Jay Halstead, ex-Army ranger and member of an elite police unit, set out to Target to find some decorations for a little girl's bedroom. The last time he made the journey he was accompanied by Erin, who was not only a woman and understood what little girls liked, but someone who actually had a knack for decoration. He, on the other hand, had been completely lost, simply adding the items Erin picked out to the cart and pushing it along. Jay was completely over his head, but chose a variety of items that he thought would look nice and that Kate would like. He also was sure to get a few new stuffed animals to replace the ones who had been destroyed, as well as a couple of new books because he couldn't resist, knowing that his little girl would love them.

"I went shopping," Jay said casually to Erin as he drove them toward the apartment. Hank had taken Kate to play outside in the snow, absolutely exhausting the little girl. She had fallen asleep on the living room couch and remained asleep on the drive over to their home, cheeks still rosy from the Chicago wind.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, then narrowed her eyes skeptically, " _You_ went shopping? For what?"

"Decorations," Jay could barely keep the smile off his face at his girl's incredulous expression, "Most of Kate's bedroom is in an evidence locker and to be honest I never want to see it again." He shrugged, "So I picked out some stuff."

"I hope you saved the receipts," Erin mumbled, glancing tiredly out of the car window, "No offense babe, but decorating is not your strong suit."

"Hey!" Jay exclaimed indignantly, "I am not that bad."

"No? At your last place you had a picture of a motorcycle hanging over your bed. A _motorcycle,_ Jay. It's a miracle I slept with you."

"Ppft." Jay exhaled, "Please. You were the one who showed up at _my_ place. In a pantsuit, no less. And motorcycles are awesome."

"Yeah, until you fall off and it kills you," Erin scoffed, "What did you get?"

"You'll just have to wait and see," Jay teased, pulling into the parking garage. "How's your head?"

"Better," Erin said, "I feel way more solid than yesterday. Not nauseous or dizzy anymore, just kind of a dull ache."

"Mm, well I bet it will feel good to spend the night in our own bed." Jay put the car into park and quickly disembarked, hurrying around the Sierra to open the door for Erin.

"I'm good babe, promise," Erin insisted, firmly setting her feet down and tugging open the backdoor to where the duffle bags were, "I'll get the bags, you carry Kate."

"How about you just carry this," Jay handed her the tote bag with Kate's clothes and slung the duffle bags over his shoulder. She wrinkled her nose, but allowed Jay to do the heavy lifting and trailed after him to the elevator.

"We home?" Kate lifted her head off of Jay's shoulder and glanced around the small elevator.

"Yes, baby, we're home," Erin smiled and stroked her cheek, pink from sleep, "Did you have a nice rest?"

"Uh-huh," Kate murmured, placing her head back down, "It's safe?"

"Oh yeah," Jay promised, stepping into the hallway after the elevator dinged on the third floor, "We've had patrol outside for the past week and I had a few officers check it out a few minutes ago, and we're all good. Nothing to worry about."

"I'm glad," Kate breathed, relaxing as Erin put her key into the lock, "I'm glad we got Mommy this time."

"Me too, Squirt." Jay kissed her head and followed Erin inside, flicking on the lower lights as to not hurt her head. "Welcome home."

"Feels good to be back," Erin sighed in contentment, dropping the tote bag to the ground and shedding her large winter coat, "I feel like it's been ages."

"Am I gonna stay in your room?" Kate asked quietly, still in Jay's arms, "Cause of the lady in my closet?"

"I actually went to the store today and got some stuff to clean up your room a bit," Jay told her, heading for Kate's bedroom, "But you know you can always stay with us. I just thought you might like a few things." He flipped the light switch, bathing the bedroom in a soft glow.

"Wow!" Kate exclaimed, looking around her bedroom. Instead of the pink that he and Erin had previously decorated her bedroom with, Jay chose light greens, yellows and blues. He had purchased new bedding to go with the new stuffed animals that sat on the bed, along with a new stuffed Giraffe, Lion and Mr. Shark. "You saved Mr. Shark, Giraffe and Lion!" Kate was astonished, "I love it!"

Jay beamed, setting her down on the ground so she could explore her redecorated room. "Good work, babe." Erin smiled, leaning against the doorframe.

"I did okay?" He asked knowingly. She nodded, snaking one arm around his waist and leaning into his side.

"You did great. She loves it." Erin grinned, watching her little girl look around her bedroom in wonder.

Kate held the stuffed animals tightly to her chest. "I missed these guys!"

"Well, they're not the same ones, Squirt," Jay said, sure to be honest with his clever little girl. While he was shopping, he recalled how his parents had once tried to pass off a different stuffed dog than the one he had lost. He had been ecstatic, but then devastated when he realized it was different. "They're a little different."

"I know Daddy," Kate smiled widely, "I just missed having a whole bunch of them because Tiger was very lonely." She flashed another grin before catching site of a table in the corner of the bedroom. "Is that _mine?_ "

"It is, kiddo." Jay gestured to the table, "Do you want to go see it?"

She nodded fervently and approached the table that was designed to hold Legos. It had a built-in Lego base and tubs filled with the tiny blocks, perfect for building castles. "Wow!" Kate squealed, "A Lego table! So I can build!"

"That's right," Jay couldn't keep the smile off his face, "Since I know you like to make castles, I thought it would be fun to have a seat instead of on the floor."

"Thank you, Daddy!" Kate leapt into his arms and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck, "I so excited!"

"I'm glad, Squirt." Jay kissed her forehead, "Thank you for being so helpful with Mommy. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Me too," Kate leaned back, "We a good team."

"We are," Jay agreed, turning to the door to find his girl. When she wasn't standing where he left her, his stomach dropped. "Erin?"

Quickly, Jay exited the bedroom, Kate still in his arms, "Erin?" he called again, looking around the living room rapidly.

"Kitchen, babe." Erin's voice came muffled. He made over in a few strides, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw his girl was just wrapping an icepack in a tea towel for her head.

"You scared me for a second there," Jay said honestly, setting Kate down on the kitchen counter, "Does your head hurt?"

"A little," Erin admitted, bringing the icepack to the back of her head. Jay knew that Erin admitting any semblance of pain meant that she must be really hurting. He tenderly cupped her cheek.

"Do you want to hang out on the couch for a bit? I don't think TV would be helpful, but you could lay down while Kate and I get started on the biggest castle ever," He winked at the little girl, whose eyes lit up in response.

"Sounds good." Erin murmured, shuffling over to the couch and relaxing instantly, welcoming the fuzzy blanket that Kate spread across her lap. "Thanks, baby."

"I love you, Mommy," Kate whispered, kissing her mother cheek lightly, "Maybe later I can read _you_ a story."

"I'd like that," Erin smiled tiredly, running a hand over her little girl's head, "And I love you more, sweet girl."


	33. Chapter 33

**Not super in love with how this chapter turned out but it was the best I could do after a hella-rough week (that isn't even over yet bleh). Keep yer eyes peeled for more soon though and hopefully it will be better.**

* * *

"We get to go to the district today?" Kate looked excitedly at her father as he cut up a banana for his little girl, "We don't gotta stay home?"

"Nope, you and Mommy and I are all going to the district today, at least for a little bit. Mommy's going to do a bit of work at her desk, so maybe you could sit at mine while I go out with Uncle Al, hm?"

"Yeah!" Kate nodded enthusiastically, "Can I bring the math books too? I bet Sergeant Platt could help me."

"That is a fabulous idea," Jay smiled, sliding the plate of banana slices over to his little girl. They had been back in their apartment for a week. Although Jay and Erin had finally gotten comfortable with the idea of bringing their little girl back to school, Kate had an absolute meltdown when they broached the idea. She was convinced that being without either of her parents would lead to them being hurt, so after a conversation over the phone with both Dr. Handel and Alexa Carlson, Jay and Erin decided keeping Kate with them would be the best course of action.

While Jay had been heading into the district for a few hours every day and returning for lunch and then again in the early evening, Erin had yet to be allowed back through the doors. Hank had informed her in no uncertain terms that if she returned before Will or another doctor said it was okay, she'd chained to her desk for six months regardless of her prognosis. She heeded his words and stayed home with Kate, building elaborate fortresses on the new Lego table and listening to Kate read from her picture books. Her little girl was a welcome respite from the dull ache behind her eyes, but it was thankfully fading. Will, after much persuasion, agreed to allow Erin back at the district for a few hours in the morning, but insisted that she go back home to rest at lunch. Begrudgingly, Erin accepted his proposition and was looking forward to a day that didn't revolve around naps.

"Mommy still sleepin'?" Kate asked quietly, picking a piece of banana off the plastic plate and popping it into her mouth. She looked down at her hands, "I-I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I needed to get up anyway, Squirt," Jay reassured her, stroking her tiny fingers gently. For two nights after returning from Hank's house, Kate had spent the night in bed with Erin and Jay. After their conversation with Dr. Handel, the couple decided that putting her in her own bed first might ease her back into a routine. Unfortunately, the poor little girl hadn't made it a full night in her own bed. She woke up _screaming_ the first night, and endured similar horrific nightmares subsequently. Both Erin and Jay had wanted to just keep her in bed with them to prevent the vicious dreams, but knew that in the long run, encouraging Kate to fight the dreams herself would be best. It absolutely shattered Jay's heart to see his baby screaming in terror. Just when he thought the little girl would make it through the night, he was awoken at four to desperate cries echoing from the baby monitor.

Erin had been sleeping far deeper than normal following her concussion, so it was Jay who rushed into his daughter's bedroom, stepping on a stray Lego in the process. He was fully awake after that, and retreated to the couch with his little girl in his arms. She dozed lightly against his chest, but was awake again by five.

"I'm gonna be with her today though, right?" Kate looked expectantly at Jay, hoping to hear that she would indeed spend the entirety of her day in close proximity to her mother. Leaving his girls in the morning was harder for Jay, now that they were back in their apartment, so he was grateful that they would be close by as well.

"All day, kiddo," Jay promised, "In the morning we'll be at the district and then come home after lunch. I might have to go back for a bit, but then maybe we could read another chapter of The Magic Treehouse after dinner."

"I finished dat one, Daddy," Kate informed him, "I readed it to Mommy so she could fall asleep, cause Uncle Will said no movies."

"You read it?" Jay looked surprised, "By yourself?"

Kate nodded and then looked nervous, "M-Mommy said I was 'lowed."

"You absolutely are allowed, kiddo, I just didn't know how good a reader you were!" Jay beamed, "How did you learn so quickly? I thought we were doing Henry and Mudge."

"We were," Kate shrugged, "But the other books are the same, just with littler letters." She smiled brightly, picking up another banana slice, "I like readin'."

"Well you're certainly very good at it," Jay mused, taking a sip of his coffee. He glanced at the clock on the oven, "It's probably a good time to wake up Mommy. Do you want to do it, Squirt?"

Kate nodded and accepted a boost down from the breakfast stool. She quietly crept into the dark bedroom, peering over the bed to see her mother, still sleeping soundly. Jay had been sure to remind Erin to not use her alarm, as the blaring beeps always aggravated her head. Instead, he was rousing her every day with gentle kisses, but since Kate had been up so early, he thought Erin would love to see her little girl in the morning.

"Mommy?" Kate whispered, lying gently atop the covers and putting a tiny palm on her mother's cheek, "Time to wake up."

"Mm?" Erin mumbled, turning her head slightly and blearily cracking open her eyes. "Hi baby, what time is it?"

"I don't know," Kate replied softly, tenderly brushing some of Erin's mussed hair off her face, "I couldn't see the clock, but Daddy said I could wake you up."

Erin smiled tiredly, putting one arm around her little girl, "Do you want to snuggle in bed for a few minutes?

Kate nodded sheepishly, moving closer to her mother, "I got scared this morning and axi-denly woke Daddy up really early."

"Did you have a nightmare?" Erin asked knowingly, threading her fingers through her baby's hair. Kate nodded sadly, relishing in the comfort her mother was providing. She snuggled closer, resting her head against Erin's chest. Erin sighed with contentment, rhythmically combing out Kate's hair in preparation for the day. While she was feeling a whole lot better, she knew in her heart of hearts that she had to take it slow. Taking things "slow" was not something that Erin was used to, or something she liked. But lying in bed with her little girl reminded her that there was another person dependent on her to get better.

"Er? Kate?" Jay poked his head into the bedroom a few minutes later, smiling widely at his two girls snuggled in bed. "Good morning."

"Mm," Erin responded, reaching a hand out to her partner, "Come back to bed."

Jay chuckled softly and perched on the edge of the mattress. "Sorry, babe. I've gotta go in to work. But if you're not feeling up for it, you should stay back and rest."

"I'm up," Erin replied quickly, resulting in snort from Jay, "I'll take a shower and we'll be out of here in a bit."

"Sounds good," Jay leant down and kissed her forehead before giving his little girl a gentle tickle, "Come on, Squirt, let's go get changed."

Kate squealed when Jay poked her in the ribs, "Daddy!" She giggled, "It's too _early_ for ticklin'!"

"It's never too early," Jay teased, peeling her from Erin's embrace and slinging her over his shoulder. Kate shrieked in delight, waving her hands in the air.

"Careful, Jay!" Erin scolded, "Her stomach is still sensitive."

Kate squealed again as Jay flipped her over his shoulder and caught her against his chest. "Sorry, babe," He said to Erin and looked down at the little girl, who was grinning up at him, "I didn't hurt you, did I, Squirt?"

"No, Daddy, again!" Kate insisted, "I'm okay, promise!"

"Let's pick out some clothes first, how about that?" Jay placed the little girl on his hip, "Mommy's right, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me, Daddy," Kate patted his chest delicately, "You're my _Daddy_. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose."

"That's right," Jay ran his hand over her head, "But your tummy is still a bit sensitive, so we have to be more careful. It was my fault." He looked over to Erin, who had tiredly vacated the bed, "You going to be okay in there?"

"Yeah, yeah," Erin waved her hand flippantly and proceeded to the shower. She paused in the doorway, "Unless you wanna join me?" Erin raised her eyebrows seductively and almost immediately blanched. She cleared her throat, having forgotten that Kate was in the room and now looking quizzically at her, "I mean, so I don't fall over. If I get dizzy."

Jay rolled his eyes, now unsure of what to do. On the one hand, he could take a shower with his girl. On the other, their daughter was one hundred percent awake but would be skeptical if he said no to Erin's original request. He looked desperately to his girlfriend, who shot an equally-desperate look back. "I can help Mommy," Kate piped up, "I sit by the shower in case she falls down?"

"Good idea," Jay nodded quickly, "I'm going to pick out some clothes for you today while you stay with Mommy." Since returning home, Kate had refused to open her closet door, due to the fact that the last time she did so, a dead woman fell out of it. What was once a place she sought comfort in was now a place she feared. Jay and Erin had been trying to slowly coax her back by telling her it was okay, but Jay thought that until that Jackson was behind bars or dead, Kate wouldn't be opening her closet anytime soon.

* * *

"Good to see you back on your feet, Lindsay," Atwater greeted, stirring his cup of coffee. Jay and Erin were definitely on the later side for work, but today, they knew Hank wouldn't be too annoyed, given that his granddaughter was tagging along.

"Thanks Kev." Erin patted his shoulder as she made her way into the bullpen, thankful to be back, "Feels good to be here."

"Grandpa Hank!" Kate squealed, dropping Jay's hand and running full speed to the older man who was emerging from his office. She had been buzzing with excitement over seeing her grandfather the entire car ride over. Kate had practically dragged Jay into the district, looking forward to filling Hank in on what she and Erin had been doing.

"Hi, kiddo!" Hank boosted her into his arms and set her on his hip so the little girl could wrap her arms around his neck, "How are you?"

"I _missed_ you!" Kate told him seriously, hugging tightly, "I didn't see you for _days_."

"I missed you more," Hank tapped her nose lightly, and she giggled, "Did you take good care of Erin?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically, "When Daddy was workin' I read lots of stories to Mommy. And we finished the Magic Tree House so we gotta get a new book from the library."

"You finished Magic Tree House?" Hank looked at Jay in surprise, "Last week we were working on Henry and Mudge."

"That's what I said," Jay slung his coat over the back of his chair, "Hey Squirt, do you want to take your coat off and then maybe get started on a picture at my desk?"

"Okay!" Kate smiled at her father, then to her grandfather, "Where's Sergeant Platt?"

"I'm not sure if she's in yet, kiddo. How about I give her a call in a bit, hm?" Hank asked, receiving a nod in response.

"I haven't seen her in soooo many days," Kate said to nobody in particular, "Cause we've been layin' low."

"That's right." Hank set her down in Jay's chair, glancing around the bullpen for his almost-daughter. Erin was seated at her desk, already going through unread emails and shuffling files. "How are you feeling, Erin?"

"I'm good," Erin looked up from her work and smiled, "I missed being busy."

"Well, you won't be too busy today," Jay set a mug of decaf coffee beside his girlfriend as caffeine was still off-limits, "And we're going home at twelve thirty. No exceptions," He said firmly, Hank nodding in agreement. Erin scowled in response, choosing focus back on whatever she was reading on her laptop instead of arguing.

"Who's that sitting in Halstead's chair?" Platt's voice carried across the bullpen as she ascended the stairs, eyes twinkling as she caught Kate's excited gaze.

"Sergeant Platt!" Kate scrambled down from the chair and rushed to her friend. Platt knelt to the ground and wrapped the little girl in a hug, "I missed you so much!"

"I missed my favorite munchkin," Platt informed her seriously, "I heard from Hank that you've been building some big Lego castles."

"Uh-huh. Daddy calls them fort-rus-is," Kate informed her, "Cause they are so big. But I didn't bring Legos today. I brought _math_."

"Math, huh?" Sergeant Platt raised her eyebrows, "Do you want to help me with my taxes?"

"Okay," Kate agreed, clearly not aware of what taxes were, "Daddy said you probably know a lot about math."

"Hm, well, we'll see what I remember, how about that?" Sergeant Platt looked up to Jay and Hank, who were speaking in lower tones. "And you know what, there's going to be a few special friends of mine coming to visit later today."

"Mouch is coming?" Kate asked knowingly.

Platt chuckled, "No, not Mouch, though he is special. There's going to be a few police dogs, here, at the 21st District."

"Really?" Kate leaned back further so she could look into Platt's eyes, "There's gonna be dogs here?"

"Yep. I don't know how many and they're in training. But it might be fun to watch."

Kate nodded slowly, "I never pet a dog before," she said slowly, "Cause I was scared of them."

"Oh," Platt hadn't realized that Kate had never been around dogs before. Despite living with Erin and Jay for seven months, nobody in their group of friends had a dog, and Kate had always been skeptical of random dogs on the street. "Well, we don't have to see the dogs. It was just an idea."

"I would like to," Kate said, "You be there though?"

"Absolutely." Platt's heart just about melted at the sweet child, "I'll be right there."

* * *

While Jay set out with Olinsky working on a potential lead, Kate sat at his desk and worked on a picture. Platt had promised to return when the police dogs had arrived, so Kate chose to color a variety of dogs. Erin remained in her chair, tiredly combing through everything she had missed. "You okay, Mommy?" Kate asked quietly. The bullpen was empty, as Hank and the rest of the team headed out to meet Jay and Olinsky.

"Oh, yeah, baby, I'm absolutely fine," Erin smiled, stifling a yawn, "How's the picture coming?"

"Good," Kate held up the piece of paper that she was working on, "But one time I heard Daddy telled Grandpa Hank that when you say _I'm fine_ , it doesn't mean you're _actually_ fine," she narrowed her eyes slightly, "I think he's right."

Erin scoffed, not wanting her little girl to think she was annoyed at her when she really was just annoyed with Jay's incredibly over-protective nature. "Kate, baby, I promise to tell you if I'm not fine, okay? I'm just tired, but I'm doing well."

Kate was quiet for a moment, "But last time you said you were _fine,_ you got sick at the 'quarium." She nervously regarded her mother, "I-I didn't like seeing you sick."

"Oh, I know, baby." Erin got up from her seat and crouched beside Jay's desk so that she could look up at her daughter, "And I'm sorry you had to see that. I know it's been really hard for you, but I'm getting much better. And we're going to go home once Daddy gets back, maybe take a little nap? You must be tired too, since you were up early."

She nodded slowly, "Maybe Daddy would want a nap too, cause I woke him up."

"Daddy doesn't sleep a lot as it is," Erin assured her, "He gets up way earlier than either of us most days. I think he could stay awake for days." She glanced up at the clock, "But Daddy should be getting back soon. Do you know what you want for lunch?"

Kate shrugged, "We gonna stay to see the police doggies though, right?"

"Police dogs?" Erin raised her eyebrows, "What police dogs?"

"Sergeant Platt said they coming _here._ For trainin'," Kate explained, "And cause I never pet one, she said maybe I could today."

"Hm," Erin thought, "Well, we definitely can wait for that. I guess we don't have any friends with dogs, do we?" Kate shook her head, "I'm not sure we're going to be allowed to pet the dogs if they're in training, but we'll try to find you a nice dog to meet soon, okay?"

"And maybe a kitty?" Kate asked, "I never met one of those e-der."

Erin smiled, "I'll ask around. I'm sure we can find a dog and a cat for you to meet," She ran a hand over Kate's head, "Maybe you should become a veterinarian when you grow up."

"A am-inal doctor?" Kate asked, eyes widening, "Like Uncle Will, only for dogs and cats?"

"Or for zoo animals or even sea creatures," Erin grinned, "I think you would be very good at that."

Kate nodded eagerly, "I've been thinkin'…"

"What have you been thinking about?" Erin asked.

"That Grandpa Hank should get a doggy. Like Henry and Mudge. 'Cause his real name is Henry." Kate said seriously, "Then there could be real-life Henry and Mudge!"

Erin chuckled, "Hank does like dogs. Maybe one day, babes. He's a bit busy right now, but maybe if he ever retires, he'll get a dog."

* * *

"You ready, munchkin?" Platt came up the stairs, smiling widely, "I got a call, the new police dogs should be here any minute."

"Yes!" Kate squealed, jumping off Jay's chair, "Mommy, you gonna come too?" When Erin didn't immediately reply that she was indeed joining them, Kate suddenly looked nervous. "They not gonna hurt me, right?" She looked up at Sergeant Platt worriedly, "They good dogs?"

"Oh, yes," Platt assured her, "They're highly trained." She glanced over at Erin, sensing the little girl's apprehension. "Come on, Detective, the paperwork can wait fifteen minutes."

"Alright," Erin sighed, smiling after seeing the relief on her baby's face, "Are you excited, baby?"

"Uh-huh," Kate gripped Erin's hand tightly as they followed Platt down the steps, "They not gonna bite e-der?"

"Nope," Erin said, "Don't worry sweetheart, and if you feel scared, we can go back upstairs, okay?"

Kate nodded as they exited through the metal cage and headed for the lobby of the 21st. There, by the sergeant's desk, sat three young German Shepherds, obediently awaiting instruction. "Wow," Kate breathed, eyes widening at the sight.

"Hey, Kate, this is Detective Richards," Platt gestured to the youthful female detective, "And this is Officer Anderson," she gestured to the male officer, "And they're in charge of training the new police dogs."

"Hi," Detective Richards smiled warmly, "Do you want to meet the dogs?"

Kate nodded nervously, holding Erin's hand tighter, "Detective Erin Lindsay, Intelligence," Erin greeted, "Nice to meet you."

"Pleasure," Richards nodded, "Now, they're still learning but they're being trained for a few different things." She pointed at the largest dog on the end, "This is Diesel, he's going to be a bomb dog."

"He gonna smell for bombs?" Kate whispered, leaning closer to Erin's legs.

"Mm-hm," Richards said, "But you don't need to worry, there are no bombs here. And next to him are Pepper and Duke, they're being trained to sniff out drugs. And this…" Richard turned to the officer, "Anderson, where's Goose?"

The young officer gasped, not having realize there was a dog missing. "Uh, he was here a minute ago."

"We have a fourth dog in training, Goose, but he's a bit of a wild card," Richard explained, gesturing for the officer to go locate the missing dog, "Not sure if he's going to end up making it into K-9."

Kate observed the three dogs carefully, still clutching Erin's hand, "Aren't they cute, Kate?" Erin asked, shaking her hand a little in an attempt to get her little girl's attention, "They're very smart."

She nodded in agreement, still taking in the large creatures. "Do you want to pet them?" Detective Richard looked to Erin, who nodded slightly. The woman held her hand out as a command to indicate that the dogs could relax. Immediately, the three dogs laid down, looking expectantly at their teacher.

"Wow," Kate whispered, reluctantly taking a step closer as Erin moved toward the dogs, "They good."

"They are," Erin agreed, reaching a palm out to the female dog, Pepper. The dog pushed her wet nose against Erin's palm, enjoying the scratches that she received. "If you reach your hand out first, then they'll tell you if they want to be petted. Do you want to try?"

Cautiously, Kate extended her tiny palm toward Diesel. The large dog immediately leaned into her gentle touch. Kate smiled widely, "He's very soft."

"They just had their bath," Richards informed her, smiling as the little girl continued to stroke the big dog, "So they're all nice and clean."

"Thank you for letting us meet them," Erin rose to her feet and turned to Platt. "Great idea."

"I thought it would be," Platt nodded, glancing down at the child who was still petting Diesel, "Quite the animal lover, this one."

"I got him!" Officer Anderson said breathlessly, being tugged along by a German Shepherd the size of Diesel, "He was chilling by the vending machine,"

"This is Goose," Richards said, the massive dog bounding toward her and jumping up against her uniform, "Down!"

Kate clung to Erin's legs as the dog jumped around Detective Richards. "Sorry about him," Richards apologized, "He's very much a work in progress." She instructed the dog to sit, which he did, appearing to be grinning widely.

"No worries," Erin assured her, "Shall we go finish up things upstairs, baby?"

Kate nodded, "Thank you for lettin' me pet the doggies."

"You are very welcome," Detective Richards replied, "They'll be around here all day going through some training exercises."

* * *

"Okay, baby, so it looks like Daddy might be a little later, so we should see what we want to have for lunch," Erin glanced up from her cell that had been resting on her desk, "How about a turkey sandwich?"

Kate nodded, "Can I have a pickle too?"

"Absolutely," Erin smiled, "What do you say if you and I take a quick walk down the block to the sandwich shop and come back here? Hopefully Daddy will be back by then so we can go home for a quick nap and to take your medicine."

"Okay," Kate said brightly, already pulling her winter coat on, "We get a sammich for Daddy too?"

"Good idea," Erin agreed, donning her gloves and coat before assisting the little girl with putting hers on, "He's going to be hungry after he gets back."

"Daddy's _always_ hungry," Kate informed her mother, taking her hand as they headed for the exit, "Yesterday he said he was gonna eat _me_ but that I probably wouldn't taste too good," She wrinkled her nose, "But he wouldn't actually, right?"

"No, no, he's just being silly," Erin chuckled, "What do you think, would he like a turkey club or a Rueben?"

"Woo-ben." Kate decided after thinking for a moment, "With the chips in the orange bag."

* * *

When Jay finally returned to the district around four, he hurried up the steps to find his girls. He was over _three hours_ late and Erin hadn't been returning his last few texts. He was hoping not to find them, that they'd returned to the apartment at one as planned, but the Sierra was in the parking lot and Jay realized that he accidentally brought those keys with him. After doing a quick once over of the bullpen and not seeing Erin or Kate, Jay headed for the breakroom.

There, in the cloth lounge chair that they had gotten for Kate follow her stomach surgery, lay Erin, snoozing softly against the cotton seat. Kate was laying on her chest, her head tucked just underneath Erin's chin, and she too was fast asleep, one hand resting on the large German Shepherd who lay beside them. The dog cocked his head slightly toward Jay, unsure of this new presence. "They up here?" Hank called, walking quickly through the bullpen, "Platt said they should be,"

"They're here," Jay gestured to the breakroom, "Whose dog is that?"

Hank raised his eyebrows in suspicion and peered into the breakroom. Sure enough, there was his granddaughter and his girl, both sound asleep with a dog guarding them. "There was an email about police dog training. I guess one of 'em went rogue."

"Yo, there's an officer downstairs freaking out about a missing dog," Ruzek shouted, tromping up the steps.

"Yeah, we found him," Jay replied, indicating for the young officer to lower his voice, "He's in here."

"No way," Ruzek quickly crossed the bullpen, "C'mere, boy."

The dog let out a low growl as Ruzek advanced toward him, causing him to halt in his tracks. Both Hank and Jay chuckled, "He doesn't like you, kid." Hank informed him, "I think he's protecting Kate and Erin."

"I'll go get the guy," Ruzek scowled at the dog and retreated. Jay rolled his eyes and approached his girls slowly.

"It's okay, buddy," Jay held his hand out so the dog could sniff, "Thanks for watching my girls for me."

The dog appeared suspicious, rising to a standing position and sniffing Jay intently. After a moment, he wagged his tail. Jay relaxed and put a hand on Erin's shoulder. "Er, babe," he whispered, "Wake up, we're headed home."

"Mm?" Erin lazily opened her eyes and turned her head, coming face to snout with the dog, "Why is there a dog in here?"

"We were wondering the same thing," Hank said, leaning against the doorframe, "He was here when we got here."

"Huh," Erin sat up slightly, waking up Kate in the process, "Sorry, baby, we're heading home in a few minutes."

Kate blearily glanced around, "Is the doggy still here?" She caught sight of the large dog and smiled widely, "He is!"

"Where'd you find him, Squirt?" Jay asked, watching in amusement as Kate vacated Erin's lap and stood beside the dog, who was now sitting obediently beside the little girl and was almost as tall as she was.

"He came up here while Mommy was nappin'," Kate shrugged, "And I was still awake so I petted him and he lay down. I think he likes me."

"I think he does too," Jay smiled, "But Ruzek is finding his owner, because they probably miss him a whole bunch."

Kate nodded in agreement, continuing to stroke the dog, "He's gotta be with the other doggies. I don't know this guy's name."

"Goose! There you are!" Detective Richards quickly made her way across the bullpen and clipped a leash to the rogue dog's collar, "Sorry about that. He's been missing for two hours."

"He was nappin'," Kate explained, "And he ate Daddy's sammich." She pointed to the sandwich wrapper that was shredded over by the refrigerator, "He was hungry."

"Good thing I ate already," Jay scratched the dog behind his ears, "You've got good taste, Goose." Goose wagged his tail in response.

"Come on, Goose, we gotta go," Richard tugged on the leash, but the dog did not budge. His eyes remained trained on the little girl, who was standing beside her father.

"Bye Goose," Kate waved. Still, the dog did not move. He laid down instead, looking up at his master with a 'try me' face.

"Ugh, Goose," Richards was aggravated, "Come _on,_ dog."

"Let's go, Goose," Erin tried, standing up and heading through the breakroom door. Goose stood as well, turning around to see if Kate would follow. He trailed after Erin, much to the surprise of his trainer. "Good boy," Erin cooed, stroking his head gently as they walked toward the steps, "Good boy."

"At least he listens to you," Richards mused, "Thanks for your help."

Erin smiled and turned back to the bullpen as the dog reluctantly headed down the steps, "Alright, so are we headed home?"

"Tired?" Jay asked knowingly, now carrying Kate in his arms. Erin nodded in response, pulling her coat off the back of her chair.

"Bye Hank," she called, "We'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya, kid," Hank replied, "Halstead, stay home with them, would you?"

"Thanks, Sarge." Jay nodded to his boss before wrapping an arm around Erin's shoulder and heading out of the bullpen.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think ~~~ and I'll try to get the next chapters up ASAP because I am so excited for the response to what I have in store ;)  
**


	34. Chapter 34

**Last bit of adorable family time before you all hate me :) Please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Halstead," Jay mumbled tiredly into the receiver. His phone had buzzed loudly at three in the morning, rousing the detective from a deep slumber. Kate was snuggled up against Erin, both girls still sleeping soundly. "What?" He sat up quickly, fully awake, "Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Swiftly, Jay shed the covers and pulled on a pair of jeans from yesterday before rounding the bed and gently cupping Erin's cheek. He _hated_ that he had to rouse her from her peaceful slumber, but didn't want his girls to wake up and worry about his whereabouts. "Babe, wake up."

"Mm?" Erin turned her head and caught Jay's urgent gaze. "What time is it? Why are you dressed?" She widened her eyes in anticipation, her partner's warm palm on her cheek rapidly pulling her out of her sleep-addled mind. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, "I just got a call from Crowley. They've got him. Paul Jackson. In custody," Jay smiled, "I'm headed to the district, right now. They're booking him and I wanted to see his smug face before he gets shipped off to 26th and Cal."

"Really?" Erin sat up in bed, the covers pooling at her waist. She was clad in one of Jay's old t shirts and shivered as the cool air washed over her skin, "They're sure it's the right guy?"

"Down to the fingerprints," Jay confirmed, "I'll be back in an hour or two, you go back to sleep."

"I'll come with you," Erin swung her legs off the mattress, "I wanna give him a piece of my mind and I want to see that bastard sent off."

Jay shook his head, "I know, but you should really sleep, babe. Will said it would help your head heal faster," Jay eased himself down onto the mattress. He grimaced slightly, knowing that he was in for an argument. Maybe he shouldn't have woken her up and just left a note. As he predicted, Erin glared at him.

"It's been two weeks, Jay. I'm feeling better, you don't need to handle me with kid gloves," She narrowed her eyes and scowled, "Besides, he attacked _me._ I should get some time in the cage for that one."

"Er, _Crowley_ was the one who called. There's no chance of either of us getting in to talk to him. She just said I need to be there as a formality," He took her hand and rubbed her fingers delicately, "Please, go back to sleep. It's a Saturday. We can see him at arraignment next week, after he spends the weekend in lock-up."

Erin huffed and shivered again. "Fine. Only because the apartment is freezing," She tucked her legs beneath the covers again, her eyes softening, "Come back soon though, okay?"

"I won't be long," Jay promised, leaning forward to tenderly kiss her lips, "And after, I'll make us some breakfast, too."

"Okay fine, you win," Erin mumbled, settling back against the pillow. Kate had shifted slightly over to Jay's side of the bed and was now flat on her back, mouth slightly open with one arm extended over her head and the other holding Tiger and Lion against her chest. "She's so out. And she sleeps like you, you know."

"Thankfully," Jay smiled, "I don't know if the bed could handle _two_ cover hogs."

Erin wrinkled her nose, "Get out of here, Halstead."

* * *

True to his word, Jay returned two hours later. Tiredly, he shed his jacket, followed by his jeans and crawled back into bed. Kate was cocooned into Erin's side, her mother's arm slung across her stomach and keeping the little girl close. He beamed at the sight, extending an arm over his daughter so that he could touch Erin's hip. She stirred slightly and opened her eyes, heaving a sigh of relief when she caught her partner's gaze. "How was it?"

"They got him. And they charged Bowler too," Jay moved his hand from her hip to gently stroke her cheek, "Turns out he's been helping distribute and cover up the child torture pornography."

"You're kidding," Erin gasped, eyes immediately falling to her little girl. She paused and glanced back to her partner worriedly, "Did-did they have images of Kate?"

Jay closed his eyes, "Uh, I couldn't bring myself to ask. But I'm assuming they do, because Commander Crowley just had this _look_ , like she knew." He swallowed, smoothing Kate's hair back, unable to fathom how someone could be so cruel to a child. "Voight said Stone's probably going to want to talk to us, but that Kate definitely won't have to testify."

"My God," Erin whispered, instinctively holding her daughter closer against her chest, "At least they're behind bars." She let out a breath that she had been holding since they first brought Kate into their lives, relishing in her partner's touch and her sweet baby's warm little body. "And we're safe."

"That we are," Jay agreed, running his knuckles across her cheekbone, "We're safe, and everything is going to be okay."

* * *

Kate stirred slightly, cuddled up against her mother's chest. Her father's arm was draped across her, resting delicately on Erin's ribcage. The night before Kate had sleepily asked to spend the night with her parents while they were reading a story on the couch, and of course they agreed. A night with their little girl in bed with them usually meant no nightmares, which benefited the entire family. "Morning, Squirt," Jay breathed, moving his hand from Erin's torso to brush Kate's hair off her face, "Did you sleep well?"

"Uh huh," she smiled tiredly, "I always sleep good in here." Kate looked up at her father sweetly, "Cause here's where I feel the safest."

"Me too," Jay leaned down to kiss the crown of her head, "What do you think about making some chocolate chip pancakes this morning, hm?"

"You don't gotta go to work?" Kate widened her eyes in excitement. Due to the craziness of the past few weeks and the fact that Intelligence was basically down a detective with Erin on desk duty, Jay had been working on Saturdays. But now that Jackson was behind bars, Hank practically ordered him to take the weekend off.

"Not today, kiddo." Jay smiled, "And I was thinking that maybe later, we could go to the Children's Museum."

"Really?" Kate had been to the Children's Museum down at the Navy Pier back on a rainy Saturday in August, before she had really opened up to Jay and Erin. While she was captivated by the exhibits, Jay knew that a trip would now blow her mind. She looked up at her father worriedly, "But last time, the lights at the 'quarium made Mommy sick. And they have lights at the moo-se-yum. And-and I don't want it to hurt Mommy's head."

Jay felt his heart melt. His little girl was so incredibly thoughtful and considerate. He hadn't even considered that Erin might be sensitive to the lighting. "Oh, Squirt, you are the most thoughtful kid ever," he kissed her forehead, "But the good news is that Mommy is doing a whole lot better. And you're right, we'll have to see how it goes, but think she would feel very left out if we went without her."

"Right," Kate whispered back, "We gotta go with Mommy, cause she knows where all the stuff is."

He nodded, "How about you and I get started on the pancakes and we let Mommy sleep for a little bit longer? And after breakfast we can see if she feels up to a trip to the museum."

The little girl put her finger to her lips, indicating that she would be as quiet as possible. Carefully, Jay vacated the bed and helped Kate shimmy out of Erin's embrace, quickly replacing the child's body with a pillow. Erin stirred slightly but relaxed almost instantly. Jay hoisted Kate into his arms and proceeded to the kitchen, relishing the fact that he was able to hold his baby so close. "I love you Daddy," Kate whispered, her arms around her father's neck. She shivered slightly so Jay held her closer, inhaling deeply as he pressed his nose into her soft hair.

"I love you more, Squirt." Jay replied, feeling his daughter shiver again, "Are you cold?" She nodded. Jay adjusted the thermostat and decided that Kate might need something a little warmer while he waited for the apartment to warm up. He snagged Erin's sweatshirt that she had been wearing the night before off the couch and placed the little girl on the countertop, slipping the worn material over her head in one motion. "Mommy's sweatshirt's gonna keep you warm, okay?"

Kate nodded, reaching out to her father again, "You keep me warm too, Daddy."

Jay chuckled and adjusted the little girl on his hip so he could rifle through the pantry for some pancake mix and chocolate chips. "Do you think we should do dark chocolate and milk chocolate chips this morning?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

" _Two_ kinds?" Kate's eyes were huge, "There's more than one kind of choc-lit?"

"Oh yeah. There's a bunch of different types that all taste different," Jay pulled the two bags out from the cupboard, "Should we do a taste test with what we got?"

"For breakfast?" Kate asked excitedly, "We gonna eat choc-lit for breakfast?"

" _Before_ breakfast," Jay corrected her, grinning widely, "And we'll see which ones we like best, and put those in the pancakes."

"Okay!" Kate said gleefully as Jay set her down on the counter. He wiggled his eyebrows and reached into the first bag.

"Tell me what you think of this one," Jay handed her a small piece of dark chocolate before popping one into his mouth. Kate chewed thoughtfully, wrinkling her eyebrows in consideration.

"Dis tastes like the choc-lit Grandpa Hank has at his house," Kate informed Jay, "It's the kind Mommy don't like too much."

"Okay, what about this one?" Jay gave her a white chocolate chip. "This is white chocolate, so it's a little different."

Again, Kate chewed slowly. This time, she grimaced slightly, "It doesn't taste like choc-lit."

Jay smiled, "It's not my favorite either. Let's try these ones." He pulled out a handful of semi-sweet chocolate chips and placed one into Kate's open palm. "What do you think?"

"These are best," Kate said, nodding eagerly.

"Alrighty, last ones." Jay handed her a milk chocolate chip, smiling when Kate's eyes lit up in delight. "You like them? These are Mommy's favorite."

"I change my mind. These ones are the best," Kate said, "We put these in the pancakes?"

"Do you want to put both in?" Jay asked knowingly, reaching out to tickle his little girl. She squealed in delight and nodded enthusiastically. "You know what else? We could put bananas in the pancakes too."

"Really?" Kate stopped giggling and looked at her father seriously, "Bananas _inside_ pancakes?"

"Oh yeah," Jay nodded, reaching across the counter to pluck a few bananas from the bowl of fruit, "I should have thought of this before. Double chocolate chip banana pancakes, coming right up."

While Kate mashed the banana carefully with a fork, Jay heated up the pan and quickly mixed the batter. "How are the bananas coming, Squirt?"

"All done," Kate said, "I mashed 'em up."

"Good job," Jay slipped the mixture into the batter and stirred before placing a dollop on the sizzling pan. "You want to sprinkle on the chocolate chips?" Gently, Kate sprinkled a few semi-sweet and milk chocolate chips across the pancakes. "I think we can put a few more on there, don't you think?" Jay asked, adding a few more.

"That looks more like dessert than breakfast to me," Erin mused, stepping into the kitchen, wrapped in a sweatshirt of Jay's, "Is Daddy feeding you chocolate for breakfast, baby?"

" _Before_ breakfast," Kate said sweetly. Erin shot a look at her partner, who grinned wildly.

"We had to do a taste test to see which chocolate chips were best," Jay shrugged, flipping the pancakes onto a plate.

"Just this once," Erin acquiesced, glancing hungrily at the pancakes on the plate, "Too much chocolate in the morning isn't good for us, you know."

"That's why there are bananas in the pancakes," Jay scooped more batter onto the pan, "It's healthy."

"It's not." Erin rolled her eyes, "But today's a special day."

"How come?" Kate asked, now looking expectantly at her parents. "Is it cause you and Daddy don't gotta work?"

"Yep," Jay confirmed, flipping the pancakes. He exchanged looks with Erin, who nodded, "And because we have some good news for you." He paused, "They caught Paul Jackson. He's in jail and he's not getting out."

Kate looked from one parent to the other, "We safe now?"

"Yes, baby, we're safe. You don't need to worry, okay?" Erin smoothed Kate's hair back, "What do you say we eat some pancakes and then enjoy the day, hm?"

* * *

Kate sat quietly at the kitchen table, carefully eating the pancakes that Jay had sliced up on her plate. Jay and Erin could tell that something was up as the little girl pushed the pieces around, only eating a few bites. Silently, they looked to one another trying to discern what was going on in their child's head. "Do you like the pancakes, baby?" Erin asked gently, resting her finger's gently on her little girl's hand.

She nodded but didn't look up to meet Erin's gaze. Instead, she focused on the pieces of pancake and gripped her plastic fork tighter in her small fist. Erin looked to Jay, who set his fork down. "Are you feeling okay?" Jay asked after a moment, "You haven't eaten very much."

"I'm okay," Kate whispered, her eyes still cast downward, "I'm not hungry."

"Did the chocolate make your tummy hurt?" Erin asked. Kate shook her head and ate a piece of pancake.

"I'm okay," she repeated, swallowing and setting her fork down.

"Are you sure?" Jay probed, "You've been awfully quiet." He tried to meet his daughter's gaze, "Are you worried about Paul Jackson?"

Kate shook her head again, but glanced up toward her father. "He's in jail?"

"Yep," Jay confirmed, "I watched them put him in the back of the squad car really early this morning while you and Mommy were still sleeping. He's not getting out anytime soon."

She listened intently, tears filling her eyes. "But does that mean I gotta leave now?" Kate asked, the tears quickly spilling over her cheeks.

"Oh, no, baby," Erin reassured her, "Why do you think you have to leave?"

Kate hiccuped, "Cause I came to live with you so Mr. P wouldn't get me. And-and now he's in jail but I don't want to go back." With that, the little girl erupted in sobs. Both Erin and Jay immediately vacated their seats and crouched beside their daughter.

"No, no, my love, you're here to stay," Erin cooed, running her hand down Kate's back, "Just because he's in jail doesn't mean you have to leave. You _never_ have to leave, okay? Never." She swallowed the growing lump in her throat and looked at Jay sadly.

"Squirt, sweetheart, we brought you home because you're our daughter. We had you in protective custody because of him but now that he's gone we don't have to worry. You're our little girl," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, "You're not going anywhere, I promise."

Kate sniffed and looked at Erin with watery eyes, "I get to stay forever?"

"Forever," Erin said confidently, "Forever and ever."

* * *

Just as the family was getting ready to head out to the Children's Museum, Erin's phone rang. "Lindsay," she answered, holding her cell to her ear while simultaneously helping Kate slip on her coat, "What?" She paused what she was doing, "It's a Saturday. This can't wait until Monday? Yes, no, I understand. I'll get back to you." She disconnected the call, squatting down in front of her little girl.

"Who was that, Er?" Jay asked, pulling his heavy coat off the hook.

"That was Ana Valdez. She's the assistant state's attorney who's going to be trying Paul Jackson, and she needs me to make another statement about what happened." She glanced up at Jay, "And she needs Kate to make one too."

"I-I-I don't wanna see him," Kate rushed out, tears filling her eyes and rapidly streaming down her cheeks, "I don't, please, please, I don't wanna."

"No, no, sweetheart, you don't have to," Erin quickly assured her, cupping her baby's cheek with her hand, "He's not going to be there. It's just going to be a lawyer and she's really nice. She just wants to make sure that she has all the information so Paul Jackson has to spend the rest of his life in prison."

"I don't wanna do it again," Kate sobbed, stepping backwards, away from her mother. "I-I don't wanna test-fy." She burst into tears, covering her face with her hands.

"You don't have to, Squirt," Jay crouched beside Erin and gently touched Kate's arm. "This is much different. It's just us and the lawyer-"

"And Dr. Handel," Erin interjected, "And we're just going to talk for a little bit. Mr. P won't be there, his lawyer won't be there, it's all very easy."

"Mr. Bowler not gonna be there e-der?" Kate asked, removing her hands from her tear-stained cheeks.

Jay and Erin shook their heads, "No, kiddo, he's going to jail too. He did some bad stuff and worked for Mr. P," Jay explained, reaching up to brush a few tears off Kate's cheek, "You don't have to worry about him, okay?"

"It won't be long," Erin told her, "And maybe we can go to the museum after, or even tomorrow and then we'll get Grandpa Hank to come with us since he won't be working."

"No bad guys gonna be there?" Kate asked quietly, looking expectantly at Erin.

"Nope, just us, Dr. Handel and Antonio's friend Ana Valdez," Erin confirmed, reaching forward to pull her little girl into her embrace, "Daddy and I will be there the whole time, okay? And then maybe we could go out for some ice cream."

"Even though Daddy gived me choc-lit for breakfast?" Kate asked, wrapping her arms around Erin's neck.

Jay chuckled and stood, donning his coat, "I think we can make an exception today."

* * *

"Okay, Erin, I'm just going to need you to state your full name for the record," Ana Valdez smiled kindly at Erin, who was seated across the conference table. Jay sat beside her with Kate in his lap, slowly stroking the little girl's arm to keep her relaxed. He can feel her tiny heart pounding as she rests against his chest, and hates that the only thing he can do to help her feel better is rub her arm so that she knows that he's there.

"Erin Lindsay," Erin stated.

"And what is your occupation?"

"I am a Detective with the Chicago Police Department, in the Intelligence Unit."

"What happened on the evening of January 18th of this year?"

Erin swallowed, "I had gotten off work to go to the grocery store. I picked up some sushi and went back to my apartment, alone. I uh, opened the door and heard a voice behind me say 'nice to finally meet you, detective'. I knew it was Paul Jackson. And the next thing I knew I was laying on the floor, tasting blood in my mouth because I bit my tongue. I heard my daughter crying, my partner asking me to wake up." She swallowed again.

"How did you know it was Paul Jackson?" ASA Valdez asked, making notes on her paper while the stenographer typed away.

"I just did, I guess. He had been trying to hurt my family, we had his brother in custody and were closing in on him."

"Did anything else happen that evening?"

"Um, my partner, Jay, told our daughter, Kate, to grab some clothes from her dresser because we needed to leave. And she screamed and when I got to her bedroom, there was a dead woman, laying on the floor who fell out of the closet. Then my boss showed up and took me to the hospital, but to be honest that's all a bit fuzzy."

"Thank you," ASA Valdez smiled. She turned to the nervous child seated on Jay's lap. "Kate, are you alright to do what your mom just did?" She gestured for Dr. Handel to enter the conference room. Prior to Erin's statement, the detectives, doctor and lawyer agreed that it would be best for the therapist to ask Kate the questions, while ASA Valdez could interject as necessary. Because Jackson was on the hook for the child pornography and drugs in addition to the child abuse, Kate's statement was not imperative but could prove helpful if the case got complicated.

"Hi there Kate," Dr. Handel greeted cheerily, "Mind if we chat for a bit? Ms. Valdez is just going to listen mostly, okay?"

Kate squirmed uncomfortably. "I gotta talk about Mr. P?"

Erin nodded, "Just for a bit. It will really help Ms. Valdez make sure he stays in jail. But Dr. Handel is going to ask the questions. And Ms. Valdez is so nice."

"You and Daddy gonna stay?" Kate whispered, anxiously glancing around the room.

"If that's what you want," Dr. Handel piped up, smiling kindly, "I think it would make you feel a whole lot better to have your folks in here with you."

"But I gotta talk about Mr. P," the little girl avoided Erin's gaze, "I-I don't want to make Mommy and Daddy upset."

"Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about Mommy and me. We want you to feel comfortable enough to talk about what happened to you, so if it would make feel better, we could wait outside. Or we could stay, it is up to you. But you don't need to worry about upsetting us. We love you, no matter what." Jay kissed the top of his daughter's head, Erin nodding in agreement.

"Whatever you want, baby." Erin smiled softly and stroked her small fingers, "We'll be here for you regardless."

Kate thought about it for a moment. "C-can you please stay?"

Jay smiled and kissed her head again, "Of course." He looked nervously to the therapist, who nodded her approval.

"Okay," Kate breathed, "I ready."

* * *

 **Badum badum the next chapter is a tough one BUT I think it's important to the story as a whole.  
**


	35. Chapter 35

**Big Trigger warning for this chapter. I have tried to write about what Kate went through in a way to not only convey the seriousness of what happened but the possibility for recovery. I certainly do not intend to cause harm to anyone reading this, so please proceed with caution.**

* * *

"Kate, can you tell me a little bit about what you remember before you met Jay and Erin?" Dr. Handel began, "Like what did you do, where did you go, things like that?"

The little girl took a breath, "I-I don't 'member a lot of places. I sleeped on a mat-ress on the floor. And I didn't go outside lots, only when I was good."

"Did you interact with other people?" Dr. Handel asked, writing down a few notes on her pad of paper.

Kate nodded, "There were always people in the house. I had to stay in my room, but I hear-ed people talkin' all the time. Sometimes there were ladies that came for Mr. P and Big Joe and Uncle Bobby. They ate lots of grown-up candies. And they drinked the yucky waters and beer. And sometimes they poked they-selves with _needles._ " Kate shuddered at the memory, "But I didn't get poked."

"Do you remember the kind of food you ate?"

Kate shook her head, "I didn't eat lots. Sometimes I drinked juice that made me sleepy though."

"I see," Dr. Handel nodded at ASA Ana Valdez who was furiously taking notes, "And did that happen often?"

Kate shrugged and looked nervous, "I-I-I don't 'member."

"That's perfectly fine if you don't remember something," Dr. Handel assured her, "Do you remember what happened after you drank the juice?"

The little girl nodded slowly. "I knew that if I drinked the juice, that meaned that Mr. P had _friends_ over." She looked sadly at the sympathetic doctor, "And his friends hurt me bad. But not as bad as Mr. P."

Erin felt like her heart was being ripped to shreds as she watched her sweet baby girl recall the abuse she endured before Erin and Jay even knew she existed. She knew about the trauma based on Kate's medical file and the snippets that she has heard over the past seven months of being her mother, but nothing could have prepared her to hear Kate's raw and brutal recollection.

Similarly, Jay sat rigidly in the chair, one hand continually stroking Kate's arm. Having her on his lap probably brought him more comfort that it did the little girl. As Jay listened to Kate talk about the "juice" she was forced to drink, he couldn't help but feel incredibly guilty for not having been there for his child in her time of need. No matter what he did, nothing could make up for the pain she was made to endure.

"How did they hurt you?" Dr. Handel asked softly, "Do you remember that?"

Kate nodded, "Mr. P said I'm not 'lowed to ever talk 'bout it." She paused and looked over at her mother and then up at her father, "I-I told my mommy and daddy that he touched me but I didn't wanna talk 'bout it." Tears filled her eyes, "But I don't wanna keep it a secret no more, but I aw-so don't wanna get in _trouble._ "

"You won't get in trouble, I promise you that," Dr. Handel said. She looked over to Jay and Erin, silently indicating that it would be alright for them to comfort their daughter.

"Kate, baby, nothing that happened to you is your fault," Erin lifted her hand to her little girl's cheek, "And Daddy and I know how hard it is for you to talk about it."

"He's never going to touch you again, Squirt," Jay said thickly, kissing the top of Kate's head, "You don't need to worry about that anymore."

She let out a breath and held Erin's hand in her own. "It-it hurt so bad that I falled asleep," Kate rushed out, "I bleeded a lot. And-and sometimes," she swallowed, "they held my legs and arms down so I couldn't move." The little girl gripped her mother's hand tighter as she recalled the most traumatic moments of her young life, "I always waked up real bloody after. And if I tried to leave, I got _hit._ "

Erin willed herself not to cry, to be strong for her brave little girl. She held Kate's hand and rested the other on Jay's back, acutely aware of how tightly coiled his muscles were. "I got hit a lot," Kate stammered, "But I got hit more when I cried. But it was hard not to cry cause I hurt." She looked up at the therapist, who was listening intently, "And sometimes when I'm sleepin', I 'member how scared I was and how much I hurt. But den I wake up and 'member that I got a mommy and daddy now. And they keep me safe and I don't hurt no more."

Tears welled in Erin's eyes at Kate's statement, so she chose to bury her face in her baby's hair instead, "We love you so much, sweetheart. So, so much."

"And we're so proud of you," Jay managed, "You are the bravest person I have ever met, by far and away."

"That's what you said when you first found me," Kate looked up at her father, taking note of his watery eyes.

He nodded, "And it's true. You are so incredibly brave." Jay kissed her head and then Erin's before remembering that they were in a conference room with a therapist, lawyer and court stenographer. "Sorry."

"Not to worry," ASA Valdez smiled, her own eyes damp with unshed tears. She cleared her throat, "Kate, do you remember if any of the men who hurt you ever took pictures or videos?"

The little girl thought for a moment and then nodded. "Mr. P made the movies on his computer. And put them on tiny boxes," She wrinkled her brow, "I don't know if he took pictures. But he used to talk to people on the computer and sometimes they telled him what to do to me." Kate looked at the lawyer, "That only happened two times. After that, Mommy and Daddy found me."

* * *

The conversation continued for another hour, Dr. Handel prodding at different anecdotes that Jay and Erin had relayed to her during their sessions, including Kate in the bath, having her arms twisted in New York and being forced to go days without food after having an accident in bed. Kate was also able to recall the people she had seen Jackson kill, which provided ASA Valdez with more ammunition than she needed to put the bastard away for the rest of his life. By the time the discussion was winding down, Jay and Erin both felt gutted. Their little girl was exhausted and was now tiredly leaning against Jay's chest while the adults talked.

"You did very well today, Kate," Dr. Handel smiled kindly.

"Mr. P's not gettin' out, right?" Kate asked, "I don't want him to hurt my mommy again."

"He's not going anywhere," Valdez reassured her, "You have been so helpful. And because of you, that man is never going to hurt anyone ever again."

"I'm glad," Kate breathed, "Nobody d'serves that."

"Nobody," Jay emphasized, "And you didn't deserve it either, kiddo. It wasn't your fault that he hurt you like he did."

Kate nodded in understanding and glanced up to meet her father's gaze. "It wasn't your fault, e-der Daddy."

Jay froze, unsure how his little girl was able to read his mind like that. "W-what?" he asked, his heart rate ramping up and his palms going cold, "What do you mean?"

"It wasn't your fault that I was with Mr. P," Kate said simply, "You didn't _know_ 'bout me, 'cause my bi-logical mofer didn't tell you." She paused, "But that's not your fault. I don't want you to think that it is." She delicately touched his cheek, "Cause you and Mommy saved me."

The room fell silent as the adults realized what Kate had said. "How are you so smart?" Erin asked after she found her words, rubbing Jay's back with one hand and smoothing Kate's hair back with the other. Her partner was in too much shock to reply, processing what his little girl had just told him slowly.

"Cause I gotta smart mommy and daddy," Kate replied, without missing a beat. She looked up at her father again, "Please don't be sad, Daddy."

"I-I'm not sad, Squirt," Jay managed, swallowing the lump in his throat, "I guess I just keep learning how incredibly lucky I am to have found you."

"I luckier, Daddy," Kate rested her palm on his chest, "Cause if you didn't learn 'bout me, I never would have gotten a mommy and a daddy."

A tear escaped from the corner of Jay's eye as he regarded his precious little girl. He didn't know if it would ever be possible to love someone as much as he loved Erin, but the second he met Kate he knew that he now had two girls to love more than anything in the world. "I love you," he murmured into her hair, reaching a hand out to squeeze Erin's. "I can't tell either of you that enough."

Erin managed a watery smile at the other adults in the room, "Are we done here? Can we take her home?"

"Absolutely," Ana Valdez smiled, brushing a stray tear out of the corner of her eye, "Thank you all so much for coming in today. We're hoping to get him to trial as soon as possible."

"Thank you," Jay stood with Kate in his arms and shook the young lawyer's hand, "Please, let us know if you need anything else from us. We uh, just want to see that bastard put away for as long as possible."

"Certainly, Detective," Valdez nodded, "We'll be in touch. Enjoy the rest of your Saturday."

* * *

Kate fell asleep as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot, absolutely spent by the emotional conversation. Jay leaned tiredly against the passenger seat, barely able to keep his eyes open as well. The whole ordeal took a massive toll on the entire family, and Erin knew that a trip to the museum was just not in the cards for the rest of the afternoon. "I thought we were going to the Children's Museum," Jay mumbled after he realized they were pulling into the parking garage of their apartment building.

"She's asleep, babe. And you zoned out the entire ride. And I could use a nap as well," Erin smiled tiredly, unbuckling her seat belt and opening the driver's door, "Come on, let's just get upstairs, okay?"

"Mm," Jay replied, reaching to carry Kate after Erin undid the clasps on her car seat, "I guess we could all use a nap."

Erin leaned against her partner as they stood in the elevator silently and trailed after him toward their apartment. "That was rough," she muttered, pulling off her boots and tossing them onto the ground.

"I'll say," Jay commented, sinking heavily onto their couch, Kate still asleep in his arms. "How's your head?"

"I'm fine," Erin said quickly, taking a seat next to him and gently stroking Kate's back, "I'm so proud of her."

"I know," Jay leaned down to kiss the top of his sleeping daughter's head, "The things she went through…every time I think about it, it breaks my heart."

Erin nodded in agreement, snuggling closer to her partner, "She's right though, you know. It's not your fault."

Jay didn't reply for a moment. "I-I guess. But I just feel so guilty," he swallowed, "I could have prevented it, you know? If I had known, when Jillian died, I could have taken her, she wouldn't have been abused, she wouldn't…"

"But you didn't know, babe. And you didn't know because Jillian didn't tell you. There was no way you could have known, either. She could have reached out to you sooner, but she chose not to. _You_ didn't make that decision. She did." Erin stroked his cheek, "Kate knows that it wasn't your fault. She knows that if you had even an inkling that you had a child or that something like that was happening to _any_ child, you would have done something to stop it. But you didn't know. And it isn't on you."

Jay nodded slowly, "I-I…just wish I could have been there sooner."

Erin smiled sadly, "I know, babe. But you're here now. You said yes the moment you found out about her and you never second guessed it. And the fact that you still feel guilty just proves what an amazing person you are and how much love you have for this little girl." She kissed his shoulder, "And she loves you, Jay. So much. Nothing is ever going to change that."

"She loves you too, Er," Jay said, turning his head so that he could kiss the top of Erin's, "She wouldn't have a mother if it wasn't for you. You've given her everything Jillian was never willing to, and more." He ran a hand over the back of Erin's head, "And I know we've talked about you adopting her, but I want to make that happen. I want you to be her mom, not just in practice, but on paper and for good."

Erin titled her head up so she could meet her partner's gaze, "I want that too. More than anything."

* * *

That night, Erin and Jay settled into bed around eleven, after sharing a carton of Phish Food. "It's weird for both of us getting into bed at a reasonable hour," Erin commented as she snuggled against her warm partner, "Normally it's so late."

"It's so nice," he agreed as she rested her head on his chest, "Kate was absolutely exhausted after that whole ordeal. I'm surprised she made it through dinner without falling asleep into her pizza," Jay chuckled as he gently toyed with Erin's hair. "I'm so glad she has a mother like you."

"I'm glad we have a daughter like her. And that I have a partner like you." Erin lifted her head up so he could kiss her lips.

Erin drifted off to sleep, while Jay lay awake. He couldn't seem to fall asleep for the longest time. He spent some nights like that, overcome with his own thoughts. After Kate came into his life, the Afghanistan nightmares that used to plague him seemed to subside as she and Erin were all he thought about.

* * *

"Ow," Erin startled awake as she felt a hand slam into her shoulder. Quickly, she turned her head and saw that her partner was struggling against the sheets, the comforter no longer covering his body. He whimpered and threw another punch, narrowly missing Erin as she jerked out of reach. She winced as she maneuvered away, but quickly leaned forward to comfort her suffering partner. "Jay," Erin gently rubbed his shoulder. "Wake up, babe, you're dreaming."

"Stop," he moaned, thrashing an arm out again, " _Leave_." He rolled over, his back toward Erin but quickly rotated back, clearly in severe distress. She widened her eyes, fully awake now. Erin could feel the bruise forming on her chest where he hit her but put it out of her mind. Jay needed her right now.

"Jay," Erin begged, shaking his shoulder, "Wake up, please. Come back to me, babe."

He opened his eyes and sat up abruptly, hand flying and whacking Erin in the arm. She grimaced, but didn't verbalize the hit. "You're at home," She said calmly, sitting up next to him, running her hand over his goosebump covered arms in an attempt to ground him with her touch, "You're in bed, in Chicago, with me."

Jay turned to her, a few tears brimming in of his baby blue eyes. "It…it wasn't real," he choked out as she dug into his muscles with her thumbs. His whole body was shaking violently as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

"No, it wasn't real." Erin took his hand, lacing their fingers together tightly, "You're okay, babe."

"It wasn't real," he repeated, taking a breath out. "Oh my God." He buried his face in his free hand, shaking his head furiously.

"What's going on?" Erin rubbed her thumb over Jay's hand, "You haven't had a nightmare in weeks."

He just shook his head, unable to speak. "Jay, babe," Erin ran a hand through his mussed hair, down his neck and rested it on his chest. "Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

Jay shook his head again, and squeezing his eyes shut as tight as he possibly could. "I just can't," he spluttered, "You can't handle it."

"I'm your partner. And I _want_ to handle it." Erin shifted closer to him on the bed and calmly rubbed his back despite her growing apprehension, smoothing her hands across his body, trying to convey that he was safe and wasn't back in the desert.

Abruptly, Jay threw the covers off and bolted from the room, snatching a hoodie from the hook on the dresser. "Jay!" Erin jumped up and followed him as he hustled toward the front door. "Stop, babe, please."

Jay grabbed the keys to his car and reached for his gun, but Erin was too quick. She placed one hand on the weapon and the other on his chest, "Talk to me, Jay."

"Move, Erin," Jay growled, eyes void of all emotion. She shook her head adamantly, taking a step closer to her boyfriend.

"You're not thinking clearly," she whispered, calmly but sternly, "Please, you don't need to leave," Erin clutched his arm, "Whatever's going on, talk to me. I need you here. _Kate_ needs you here."

"Let go of me, Erin!" Jay shouted, tugging his arm from her grasp. He turned for the door again, but she took his arm again.

"Stop it, Jay." Erin was trying to remain level headed, but watching her boyfriend spiral out of control when there had been absolutely no warning was building a panic within her like no other, "Take a breath."

"Daddy?" Kate emerged from her bedroom, tiredly rubbing her eyes, "Mommy?"

"Go back to bed, sweetheart," Erin instructed, "I'll be right in, okay?"

"Why's Daddy shouting?" The little girl looked incredibly nervous, clenching Tiger in her fist, "Where's he going?"

"Go to _bed_ , Kate," Jay snapped angrily, taking another step toward the door after pulling his hand back from Erin. Kate shrank back, tears spilling over her cheeks. Neither Jay nor Erin had ever raised their voice at her. Before Erin could say anything, the little girl turned quickly for her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"Babe," Erin breathed, recognizing that she was going to have to deal with poor Kate later, "Please."

"No," Jay spat, "Leave me alone, Erin." He pulled open the front door and slammed it shut.

* * *

 **Don't hate me! I did give fair warning and hopefully I accrued enough good karma! Tell me what you think :)**


	36. Chapter 36

**Sorry for the wait! Work is crazy!**

* * *

Erin sat on the couch, her leg bouncing nervously as she waited for Jay to come back. He hadn't taken his phone with him and it was still the wee hours of the morning, so she couldn't put in a call to get Jay's license plate tracked. Kate had somehow figured out how to lock her bedroom door and had probably fallen asleep, because no matter how hard Erin begged or knocked, the little girl didn't emerge. She was at a loss of what to do. She texted the super because she knew there was a key somewhere, but had yet to locate it. Even worse, Erin had no idea why Jay had left so abruptly or why he couldn't be reasoned with or why he was so harsh toward their precious little girl.

At six, after three hours of worrying, Erin dialed Will. "Erin?" came the muffled voice at the other end of the line, "Is everything okay?"

"I need your help," she said, her voice dangerously close to breaking, "Can you come over to our place, now?"

"Is everything okay?" Will repeated, sounding more awake now.

"No," she replied, glancing at Kate's closed door and Jay's cell phone and service weapon on the counter. "Jay's gone," she managed, "And Kate's hiding and I need help."

"I'll be right there." Will hung up the phone. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on the front door, bearing two cups coffee. Erin had been pacing the apartment, wracking her brain on how to break into Kate's bedroom. She had contemplated just busting the door down, but she didn't want to frighten the little girl further.

"Thanks." Erin said gratefully, taking the cup he had brought for her. She took a long sip, "What a mess."

"What the heck happened in here?" Will asked gently as he surveyed the apartment. In his haste, Jay had kicked all the neatly-lined up shoes across the entryway. The coats that usually hung on the hooks by the door had all fallen to the floor and Erin looked like hell.

"He had a nightmare," Erin told him, "Woke me up when he accidentally hit me in the chest," She swallowed, "And when I finally woke him up, he freaked out and bolted and wouldn't tell me why."

"Christ," Will murmured, "Are you hurt?" He looked her up and down, but Erin shook her head adamantly. He shifted his gaze and glanced around the apartment again, "Where's Kate?"

"Oh God." Erin rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. "He yelled at her when she was asked where he was going. Poor thing burst into tears." She squeezed her eyes shut and looked up at the ceiling, willing herself not to cry.

"Where is she?" Will asked again, softly this time, placing a hand on Erin's shoulder, "It's not your fault, Erin."

"Probably asleep in her bedroom." Erin sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. "She locked the door and I couldn't pick the lock, _and_ she has to take her meds at eight. She's probably in pain anyway from all the anxiety." She blew out another breath, "What am I going to do?"

Will grimaced. "I think you should call Voight. He's been missing for more than four hours." He snuck a peek at his watch, "And from what you told me, I don't know if he was lucid throughout his episode. He may have been sleepwalking or something."

"They're not going to care unless he's on drugs or mentally unstable." Erin opened her eyes and blinked at her boyfriend's brother, "You think he might have been _sleepwalking_?"

"It's possible, not unheard of, especially with people suffering from PTSD," Will said sympathetically. "I'm going to call the hospital. Worst case scenario, he crashed the car."

Erin let out a squeak, having not considered the possibility that Jay could be in serious trouble, physically injured or even _dead._ "I-I wouldn't let him take his gun." She glanced down at her cell phone and sighed in relief when she saw the text from the super, informing her that the key was atop the bedroom doorframe.

"Good." Will fished his cellphone from the pocket of his coat that he was still wearing and dialed the ED. "Maggie. Is Jay at Med? I just thought he may have…stopped by to see me," Will lied, unsure of how to convey the fact that his brother was missing and that he was checking the local hospitals for his body. "Okay, thanks," He hung up and turned to Erin. "He isn't there."

"C-can you check the other hospitals too?" Erin asked quietly, tears forming in her eyes again. She looked at Kate's closed bedroom door. "I'm going to wake her up."

Erin stood on her tip toes and ran her hand along the top of the doorframe to locate the key. Carefully, she unlocked the door and entered Kate's bedroom quietly, hoping that the little girl was safely in her bed.

Kate was curled up in the corner of her room, arms wrapped tightly around her stomach and knees drawn to her chest. She was asleep, Tiger, Lion, Mr. Shark and Giraffe all resting beside her. Erin grimaced and knelt down beside her daughter. "Kate, baby," she said softly, "Wake up, sweetheart."

Slowly, the little girl opened her eyes and regarded her mother intently. She didn't say anything, appearing nervous and downright exhausted. "I'm sorry Daddy raised his voice earlier," She reached out and tucked her hair behind her little girl's tiny ear. "He had a really bad nightmare and was really stressed, but he didn't mean to shout."

"He _left,_ " Kate choked out, not moving from her fearful position against the wall, "He _yelled_ and then he left."

"I know, baby," Erin stroked her cheek, "But he's going to be coming home soon, okay? And I'm sure he'll explain everything."

"Daddy still gone?" Kate mumbled, eyes filling with tears, "He not back?"

Erin shook her head. "Not yet, I'm afraid. Uncle Will's here though, and he's going to help us find Daddy."

Kate looked up at her mother. "But why did he leave?"

Erin frowned again, unsure of how to answer as she didn't know herself. "I don't know sweetheart. I think he had a really bad dream and he got scared."

"A nightmare?" Kate cocked her head to one side, the tears appearing to abate, "Daddy said he gets them sometimes," She paused, "But he _never_ leaves."

Erin took a deep breath, "You know how you get bad nightmares sometimes?" Kate nodded in response. "Well, Daddy went through a lot of hard stuff back when he was in the military. And he still has to deal with what happened over there every day."

"His heart hurts?" Kate asked knowingly, and Erin nodded.

"I think so, baby. And when he comes back, we can talk about it with him, okay?"

"But where did he go?" Tears welled in Kate's eyes again, "I want him to come back. I _know_ he wasn't mad, he's just hurting."

"You're right, my love. That's what we're trying to figure out, where Daddy went." Erin paused for a moment, realizing she was still squatting on the floor, "Why are you over here?"

"I was looking out the window to see if Daddy was coming back," Kate told her, "But I got tired."

"You didn't get into bed?" Erin smoothed Kate's hair back.

She shook her head. "My tummy was hurting. Cause I was scared Daddy was really mad. And I know he wouldn't hit me but I still didn't like the yelling."

"He's not mad at you, I promise," Erin offered a reassuring smile, "Does your tummy hurt now?"

"We-we have to find Daddy." Kate didn't answer her mother's question. She slowly stood up, arms still crossed across her abdomen.

"Kate, baby, I need you to tell me if it hurts. And I want you to be honest with me, okay?" Erin looked at her sweet little girl tenderly, her own hazel orbs locking on Kate's watery eyes, "Daddy would want you to tell me." Carefully, Erin took one of her little hands, "I'm going to ask you again, does your tummy hurt?"

Kate nodded slowly. "How much? Do you feel sick?" Erin asked. After a moment, the child nodded again and promptly burst into tears. "Okay, we're going to take care of that real soon." Erin carefully picked her up. Kate buried her head in her mother's shoulder, and tightly wrapped her arms around her neck.

* * *

"Will?" Erin called as she entered the living room. The redheaded Halstead was speaking on the phone but quickly thanked the person on the other end and hung up.

"How's she doing?"

"Her stomach is irritating her again." Erin reached into the kitchen cupboard and pulled out Kate's medicine.

Will grimaced and approached his niece, "Can you tell me what's going on, Monkey?"

"I want it to stop hurting," Kate mumbled as Erin set her down on the counter, "I want Daddy, and I want my tummy to be better."

"Do you think you could take your medicine?" Erin placed the cocktail of medications on the counter and filled a plastic cup with some water, "They should help with the pain."

Kate complied, taking the pills one by one. "He's not at any of the hospitals in the area," Will whispered to Erin, out of earshot of the little girl. She whipped her head toward Will with wide eyes, "Erin, that's good news. It means he's not hurt."

"He might be hurt and not in a hospital," Erin hissed in response, turning her attention back to her little girl, now infinitely more worried about her partner's whereabouts. "Okay, baby, Uncle Will and I have to have a quick chat. Do you think you could sit on the couch for a little bit while I get you some breakfast?"

"Okay," Kate said tentatively, reluctantly accepting the boost off the counter. She made her way over to the couch and drew her knees to her chest, looking nervously over at her mother and uncle.

"Where would he go?" Erin asked, plucking a banana from the fruit bowl and gesturing for Will to take the cheerios out of the cupboard, "Like when you were a kid and he wanted to clear his head, where would he go?"

Will shrugged, "His bedroom? The tree in our old backyard? I mean, Er, you know him better than I do."

Erin slammed the fridge shut, "That's just it Will, I like to think I know him better than anybody, but I _never_ thought he would just up and leave like that." Tears filled her eyes as she set the carton of milk on the countertop. "I-I don't know what happened. Everything was fine when we went to bed. We talked about having lunch with your dad next weekend and that we should probably get a new lamp for his bedside table because I hate the one we have. And we went to sleep!" Erin brought a hand to her forehead, "I don't know what to _do_. I don't know what to tell Kate."

"We're going to find him, Erin." Will assured her, pulling his brother's girlfriend into a hug. Defeated, she pressed her face into his shoulder, the tears disobeying her internal commands and now streaming freely down her cheeks and onto his shirt. "He probably just went for a drive, and is going to be back any minute."

Erin shook her head, "You didn't see him. He was in a state. Wouldn't talk to me, _yelled_ at Kate and me…" She pulled back and swallowed thickly, "I've never seen him like that. I've seen him worked up before, but there was nothing going on behind his eyes."

Will gently squeezed Erin's shoulder in reassurance. She flinched at the touch, Will's eyebrows shooting up in suspicion. "Are you okay?" he asked, tenderly touching her shoulder where he had squeezed.

"I'm fine," Erin shrugged, "Really."

"I hardly touched you, and yet you flinched in pain," Will pulled back the collar of Jay's t shirt that Erin was wearing to reveal a nasty bruise forming on Erin's shoulder. "Erin."

"I said, I'm fine, Will." Erin stepped backwards, "Stop it. Let it go."

"Did _Jay_ do that to you?" Will probed, clearly not about to let it go. "Did my brother do that?"

"He didn't mean to," she whispered, "He was sleeping."

"What if it had been Kate?" He asked, piercing Erin's gaze, "What if Jay had accidentally hit her? You understand that he was sleeping, but do you think she would? He hit you, hard, from the looks of it, Erin. That's probably why he left."

Erin shook her head, "No, I didn't tell him he hit me. He-he was so worked up I didn't say anything."

" _Erin._ " Will murmured, placing a comforting hand on her opposite non-bruised shoulder.

"I'll tell him. When he gets back," Erin decided. "Kate, baby, breakfast."

"I not hungry." Kate mumbled as she wandered back into the kitchen. "I want Daddy to come home." She looked up at Erin's tear-stained cheeks, "I'm worried 'bout him."

"I know you are sweetheart, I am too," Erin squatted down to meet her baby's gaze, "But we're going to find him and I'm sure that everything is okay and it was just a misunderstanding. Does your tummy feel any better after the medicine?"

Kate shook her head, tears filling her eyes, "It still hurts." she complained, "I don't wanna eat. I don't wanna get sick."

"Oh, baby," Erin cooed, tucking loose hair behind her ears. She looked up at the young doctor, "Can you take a look at her stomach?" Erin asked Will. "I think-I think I'm going to go look for him. I need to get changed."

Will nodded and lifted the little girl onto the counter to examine Kate's stomach. "Does it hurt when I touch there?" he asked, pressing lightly near the area where the surgery had taken place two months ago. She nodded and cringed when Will pressed again. "Okay, Monkey, your tummy looks a bit aggravated but we're going to wait a little longer for the medicine to kick in. In a few more hours we're going to check again, sound good?"

Kate whimpered and wrapped her arms around her uncle's neck. "I know you're worried, but your mom's going to find Jay and everything's going to be alright."

"But what if we can't find him?" Kate asked tearfully, "What if he's gone forever?"

"He's not, kiddo, he's going to be back soon," Will tried to sound convincing, but the little girl saw straight through it. She sagged against his chest in defeat.

After a minute, Kate let Will carry her over to the couch. She snuggled up next to him and closed her eyes. "I just miss my daddy." She muttered. "I want him to come home."

"We're going to find him," Erin promised, emerging from her bedroom dressed in a long sleeve t shirt and a pair of dark jeans, "I'm going to look for him, right now."

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. When she glanced down at the caller ID, she cursed. "What is it?" Will asked, alarmed, "Is it Jay?"

"No, it's _Sunday_. Hank's probably wondering where we are," Erin answered, "Hey. Yeah, um, it was a really rough night. I-I think we're just going to stay home. No, it's fine. We'll see you tomorrow."

"You're not going to tell him about Jay?" Will asked, eyebrows raised.

Erin shook her head, "Not until I need to. Can you stay here with Kate while I go look?"

"Yeah, whatever you need," Will nodded.

"Okay, there's food in the fridge, she takes her meds at 12 and four today. I'll be back as soon as I can." Erin knelt down beside the couch, "Baby, I'm going to go look for Daddy, okay? You're going to stay here with Uncle Will and maybe read some books and play some games. I'll be back as soon as I can, alright?"

"You gonna get Daddy?" Kate asked hopefully, opening her eyes, "You gonna bring him home?"

"I'm going to try, sweetheart," Erin promised, "I just need you to be a good girl for Uncle Will, but I know you will be."

"Okay," Kate whispered, leaning forward to wrap her arms around her mother's neck, "You gonna come back though, right?"

"Absolutely." Erin kissed her forehead, "You and Uncle Will are going to have a fun day together. "I love you so much, Kate."

* * *

Will and Kate spent the morning halfheartedly watching an episode of Planet Earth. The little girl had certainly picked up on Will's anxiety, noting how he was constantly checking his phone in hopes of an update from Erin, or better yet, a text message from his little brother. Kate kept glancing at the door as if waiting for her father to return home at any moment.

The front door opened and both Will and Kate turned expectantly, silently hoping that it was Erin and Jay. Kate's face fell when just Erin entered the apartment, tiredly closing the door behind her. "Mommy," Kate hopped off the couch and hurried toward her mother, wrapping her tiny arms around the woman's legs before Erin had a chance to react.

"Hi, baby," Erin murmured, running a hand over her little girl's head. She bent down and lifted her daughter into her arms, holding her closely against her chest. "Did you have a good time with Uncle Will?"

Kate shrugged and buried her face in Erin's neck, "No Daddy?"

Erin grimaced and looked to her boyfriend's brother, who had stood and was now looking at her worriedly. "I couldn't find him in the places I thought he might be. But that doesn't mean he's not around. He could come back at any time."

"I miss him," Kate whimpered, "I want him to come home."

"Me too, baby," Erin kissed the side of Kate's head, "I got a lot of people out looking for him though, okay?" She turned to Will, worry lines etched on her face, "Sweetheart, I need to talk to Uncle Will for a bit. Can you please go play in your room for a little bit?"

"You gonna talk 'bout Daddy?" Kate asked, lifting her head off of Erin's shoulder, "But you don't wanna scare me?"

Erin paused, unsure of how to proceed. The child had clearly picked up on her nervousness and the seriousness of the situation in addition to the fact that Erin hadn't been sharing the whole truth with her. "We just need to talk some stuff out and make a few decisions. It wouldn't be interesting for you, okay?"

Kate nodded and didn't prod for more, but simply hugged her mother tighter and headed for her bedroom. Once she was out of earshot, Will looked at Erin urgently, "So?"

"I looked everywhere," Erin breathed, "I drove all over Chicago, anywhere I could think of. The district, Molly's, the pier, the silos, the boardwalk, the beach…" She sighed. "He's been missing for over twelve hours. But he's a grown man, and they didn't care that he was a police officer."

"They, as in, Voight?" Will raised his eyebrows, "Or they, as in, other cops because you don't want to tell Voight that Jay's missing."

Erin's glance indicated that it was the second option, "I-I just don't want to tell him until we need to. If it turns out to be nothing, I don't want to get Hank all pissed off at Jay."

"This isn't nothing, Er. Jay's _missing_. It's been hours since you last saw him, and there was clearly something wrong when he left." Will reached out and touched her arm, "How about if I go take a look, and I'll come back in a few hours if I don't find him?"

"You don't have work?" Erin asked, wiping away the tears that formed in her eyes, "You aren't needed down at the ED?"

"You guys need me here," Will smiled sadly, "And we're going to find him, okay? I'll go check out our old neighborhood, check in with some of his old friends. I don't think that's where he'll be, but maybe he'll come back in the meantime. I assume you flagged his license plate?"

"And his credit card. Nothing on the card or plate." Erin reported, "But I got a guy who's going to text me if he hears anything. And I already checked with Ruzek and Atwater, Jay's not with them."

"Dawson? Olinsky?" Will asked, but Erin shook her head. "Alright, I gave Kate her medicine at noon. Her stomach is definitely irritated with how anxious she is and I've been trying to keep her calm, but I think you're better suited for the job."

Erin nodded, "Okay, thanks Will. And thanks for being here. It uh, means a lot."

"Anything for you and Kate," Will smiled kindly, "Do you want me to take a look at that shoulder while I'm here? You might want to get some ice on it."

"I'm okay, really." Erin promised, "You go. We'll be here."

* * *

 **Please review! And thanks to all who do, especially when they're thoughtful. They really make my day!  
**


	37. Chapter 37

**Enjoy...or try to :) Things will be looking up soon enough (or will they?)  
**

* * *

"I want Daddy to come back," Kate whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks as Erin attempted to tuck the little girl into bed, "Why hasn't he come home yet?"

Erin sighed, unable to give her daughter an answer because she didn't know herself. "I-I don't know, sweetheart. I think he's having a rough time and needed some space. But he's going to come back."

"I don't want to sleep without him," she cried, pushing the covers off her lap, "I want to be with you _and_ Daddy."

"I'm sorry," Erin replied lamely, attempting to readjust the blankets, "I-I don't know what to tell you baby. Uncle Will and I are trying to find him as fast as we can. He's going to be back any second now, and I'm going to take another look."

"You-you leavin?" Kate asked, more tears streaming down her face, "I don't want you to go, Mommy, please."

"I'll be back soon, but I need to find Daddy. He needs me right now. He's my partner, baby, I gotta find him." Erin wiped her little girl's eyes before her own, "Uncle Will is going to be right outside, okay? You've been so brave. And I'm so proud of you, but I need you to hold on for a little while longer, just until we find him."

Kate nodded tearfully, leaning forward into her mother's embrace. "You gotta get him."

"I know, I'm trying." Erin held her daughter closer, "Thank you for being such a good girl. I love you so much baby."

* * *

"She's still awake, Erin," Will murmured into the receiver, cradling the quivering child against his civilian clothes. It was well past midnight, and Erin had been on her second round of driving about the city in search of her partner. She had been to every corner of Chicago, some of them twice, but Jay was nowhere to be found. The people who were supposedly on top of tracing Jay's cell and locating his vehicle hadn't gotten a hit yet. Erin was now in a full on panic, and had called Will in the hopes that maybe Jay had gone home.

"She's awake?" Erin replied, her voice breaking, "Christ, it's past midnight. Did you get her to eat anything?"

"Wouldn't even go for ice cream," Will informed her, "I don't think she slept either, but maybe you could talk to her? I'm worried that if she doesn't eat anything, she'll get sick."

Erin sighed heavily. "I'll talk to her. P-put her on please." She listened intently as Will told the little girl on the other end of the line that her mother was waiting to hear from her.

"Mommy?" Kate whimpered into her uncle's cell phone.

"Hi baby," Erin cooed, swallowing her tears. Immediately, the child burst into broken sobs, harsh pants of distress almost causing Erin to drop her phone. "Oh, sweetheart, shh, it's okay. Take a breath." Tears streamed down her cheeks and she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, willing herself to keep her emotions in check. "Kate, baby, don't worry."

"I…want…you," Kate sobbed, "I can't…I want…D-daddy and-and…" She dissolved into another round of sobs, the cell phone falling out of her shaky grip and onto the cushion below.

"Kate?" Erin asked to the muffled noises, "Kate?"

"It's Will," Will answered breathlessly, snatching up the phone with one hand and attempting to console his niece with the other, "You know what, Er? I got this. Just bring back Jay, alright?"

"You sure?" Erin whispered, wiping the tears off her cheeks that were quickly replaced by others, "I'll-I'll try to be back soon."

"We're gonna be fine," Will assured her, rubbing his niece's back as she wept into his shoulder, "Don't lose hope, Erin." He disconnected the call and turned his attention back to Kate. "Okay, kiddo, I need you to take a few deep breaths for me," He inhaled and exhaled, "Just like me, there you go." Will repeated the action while gently running his fingertips over Kate's pajama top while she struggled to regain control of her rapid breath. "Good girl," he praised, kissing her forehead, "I think it's time for some ice cream. How do you feel about a banana split?"

"I not hungry," Kate whimpered after taking a shaky breath, pressing her face into her uncle's damp shoulder.

"Not even for bananas and ice cream?" Will probed, "With strawberries and chocolate chips on top?" He lightly patted the top of her head, "You haven't eaten almost all day. Maybe just a little bit? I know it would make your mom feel a whole lot better."

Kate sniffed and after a moment lifted her head, "Okay. If it makes Mommy feel better."

"It definitely will, I'll text her right now," Will grinned and shot Erin a quick text, indicating that he was finally going to get some food into the little girl and that she had calmed down.

"She's gonna come home, right?" Kate asked nervously after Will set her on the kitchen counter so he could get the ice cream from the freezer, "And Daddy too?"

"Yep," Will said confidently, "Don't you worry, okay Monkey?"

* * *

Erin breathed a sigh of relief when she received a text from Will. At least one member of their family was doing somewhat okay. She, on the other hand, was seated in the Sierra, two blocks from Hank's house, working up the nerve to go tell her boss and father figure that her partner and boyfriend left her and their daughter without giving a reason. She cursed loudly and pulled back onto the street, autopilot taking her to the front door of the only real house she grew up in. After another deep breath, she banged on the front door, shivering as the icy cold wind.

She heard the low grumblings of her almost-father as he approached the door, probably with the shotgun in hand. "It's me, Hank," she choked out, trying to sound as composed as possible, "And it's freezing. Let me in."

"You have a key for a reason, Erin," Hank pulled open the door and ushered her inside, "What's going on? Where's Kate? Where's Halstead?" Erin swallowed, tears already forming in her eyes as Hank's eyes softened, "Erin? What's going on?" he repeated, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "How can I help?"

"J-Jay's gone," Erin choked out, her voice cracking and the dam breaking, tears spilling down her cheeks rapidly, "He, he had a nightmare and I woke him up, and he freaked out and he just left." She stifled a sob, "Will and I have been looking for him all day. We can't find him anywhere."

Hank nodded slowly, processing the information. He tenderly lifted his hand to wipe the tears off Erin's cheeks, causing her to cry harder, "We'll find him, kiddo," he reassured her, pulling his daughter into a hug.

Erin nodded into his shoulder, tears still sluicing off her cheeks. "S-sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Hank pulled back, "How long has he been gone?"

"Almost 24 hours," Erin whispered, wiping her eyes and nose with the back of her hand, "I had them track his credit card and tagged his car, but nothing's turned up yet. And Will's at the apartment with Kate, he couldn't find him either."

"How's the kid dealing with this?" Hank asked, reaching into the pocket of his sweats for his cell phone, "She's smart so I'm assuming she picked up on whatever's going on."

"He was so out of it," Erin mused, fumbling with her cell phone, "He shouted at her." Hank raised his eyebrows in surprise, "I-I don't think he knew what was happening," Erin rushed out, "He was in such distress, I wouldn't let him take his gun, but I couldn't go after him and leave Kate-"

"You did the right thing," Hank stated, "I wish you would have told me sooner, but you can't leave the kid. I'll make a few calls, and if he doesn't turn up by eight AM, we'll file a missing persons report, okay?"

Erin nodded and sighed again, leaning heavily on her sergeant. "Thanks, Hank."

"You look like you haven't slept. You wanna head upstairs?" He offered, gesturing toward the staircase.

She shook her head, "No, Kate's waiting for me. I have a feeling she hasn't fallen asleep yet. I'll meet you at the district tomorrow morning, okay?"

"We'll find him," Hank said in parting, "Don't worry, kiddo."

* * *

Erin shuffled into the dark apartment, using her cell phone as a flashlight. "Erin?" Will hissed, "That you?"

"Mommy?" A small voice called out, "Mommy?"

"Hi, it's me," Erin breathed, sighing for what seemed like the thousandth time in the last day. She flipped the light switch in the kitchen, instantly illuminating their apartment. "What are you doing up? It's really late."

Kate was seated beside Will on the couch, snuggled up against his rib cage. Her eyes were swollen and still red. It obvious that she had been sobbing, dried tear trails glistening on her cheeks. Will looked absolutely exhausted, probably not much better than Erin did. "Couldn't sleep," Will replied, rubbing his hand over his chin.

"No Daddy?" Kate asked, separating herself from her uncle's side and into her mother's embrace as Erin approached the couch.

Erin couldn't find the words to confirm what Kate already knew: she hadn't been able to find Jay despite her best efforts. "Grandpa Hank's gonna help," she whispered finally, hoisting the little girl into her arms and cradling her against her chest, "He's gonna help us find him."

"I'm glad you comed back," Kate sighed, her small body going slack against Erin's as the exhausted young detective sank onto the couch beside her partner's brother, "I got worried that I would have no daddy and no mommy." She tilted her head up so that she could look at her mother, "I'm _so_ glad."

"I love you, baby," Erin kissed the top of her little girl's head, "And you're always going to have me, okay? No matter what, I'm going to be your mommy."

* * *

The next morning, or really just later that morning, after convincing Will that it was alright for him to head back to the ED, Erin strapped Kate into her car seat and headed for the district. She had barely slept, though Kate finally was able to get some rest after being up until well past two in the morning. Will spent the night on the couch. Erin was incredibly grateful for his support and especially for his help with her little girl, especially because Kate had been so consumed by anxiety that Will was worried about her harming her stomach. Though it had been eight weeks since her surgery, Kate's stomach was still healing.

"I'll come by the district later, okay?" Will said, giving Erin a hug before she got into her car, "You'll get him. I know it."

"Thanks Will. For being here. It really means a lot to me. And to Kate," Erin smiled tiredly, "I'll text you as soon as I have some news?"

"Sounds good," Will nodded, giving her non-injured shoulder a reassuring squeeze and heading for his car.

"Ready baby?" Erin slid into the driver's seat and ignited the car, shivering slightly.

"Mommy?" Kate asked reluctantly, looking nervously at the back of her mother's head.

"Mm-hm?" Erin turned around, "Are you okay?"

The little girl nodded slowly, "What-what if Daddy doesn't come back?"

Erin froze. In all honesty, she hadn't even considered the possibility that Jay wouldn't return. Throughout their relationship, _she_ had always been the one running. Jay was her rock, her beacon of light, her safe place. In her mind, there wasn't a scenario where Jay _wasn't_ there for her. She swallowed thickly and forced a smile for the sake of her child. "He's going to come back, my love. I know you're worried, I'm worried too, but I know Jay. He wouldn't just leave."

"But what if something _happened_ to him?" Kate whispered, her voice so quiet Erin had to strain to hear her, "What if, what if he got hurt, or someone _got_ him?" Her nervous tone became more fearful, "What if he needs help and-and we aren't der to help him?"

Erin winced, forever impressed by Kate's brilliance. Deep down, Erin firmly believed that Jay wouldn't have stayed away from his family for so long without there being an extenuating circumstance. The fact that Kate recognized this as well only made Erin's heart ache harder. "That's why we're going to see Grandpa Hank over at the district, right now." She gently placed a hand on Kate's knee, "We're going to do everything we can to find him and bring him home, okay?"

"I know, but what if we can't?" Tears welled in the little girl's eyes for the umpteenth time in the past twenty-four hours, "What if he's _gone_ forever?"

Erin cleared her throat and looked directly into her child's fearful eyes, "Kate, baby, no matter what happens, I'm going to keep you safe, alright? You and I are going to be okay, I promise. But we're going to find Daddy, I know it."

* * *

"Have you heard from him?" Ruzek asked as soon as Erin stepped into the bullpen, holding Kate's small hand in her own.

"Do you think we'd be here if I had?" Erin snapped, instantly regretting her attitude as the young officer widened his eyes. "I'm sorry, Adam. I'm just…exhausted. I haven't."

"No need for apologies, Lindsay." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. Erin clenched her teeth, trying not to flinch at the contact on her bruise. "We'll get him."

"Thanks." She made her way toward Hank's office. He was seated behind his desk, talking in low tones with someone over the phone.

"Hey, kiddo," Hank greeted, "Thanks," he hung up the phone, "Hi Kate."

"Hi Grandpa Hank," Kate whispered, leaning into Erin's leg, "You gonna find Daddy?"

He nodded, standing up from the desk and approaching his two girls. "You bet." Hank brought Erin into a hug, "I filed the missing persons report about an hour ago. We've got a bunch of people across the city looking for him. We flagged his plates. We'll find him, Erin."

She nodded against his shoulder, still holding Kate's hand tightly. "Thanks, Hank."

"How about some breakfast?" he asked, putting on a smile, "Kate, what do you think about heading to the diner? Maybe we could have an omelet or pancakes?"

"Daddy made pancakes the odder day," Kate murmured, looking up at her grandfather sadly, "We ate them with choc-lit chips."

"I'm sure they have chocolate chip pancakes," Hank said, furrowing his brow when the little girl shook her head.

"I don't want breakfast. I just want _Daddy._ " Kate turned her face into Erin's leg, "I not hungry."

"Sweetheart, we have to get some food in you," Erin ran a hand over Kate's head, looking worriedly at her father-figure, "Remember what Uncle Will said? If you don't eat, it could be really bad for your tummy."

"I'm too worried to eat," she whimpered, sounding close to tears as her voice was muffled by Erin's jeans, "Erryone is so worried 'bout Daddy, 's makin' me scared."

Despite her exhaustion, Erin leaned down and hoisted her little girl into her arms, settling her on her hip. "I know you're scared, baby, I'm scared too. But I don't want you to get sick, so can you please have a bite to eat? It would make me feel so much better."

Hank's cell phone rang shrilly before Kate could respond. "Yeah? Thanks, I'll be there in fifteen," he hung up and turned to Erin and Kate. "Change of plans. Kate, kiddo, I am going to head downtown to see a tech guy who may have found your dad's car-"

"I'm coming with you," Erin interrupted, whipping her head around and motioning for Ruzek and Atwater to join them in Hank's office, "Baby, do you think you would be okay to spend some time with Ruzek and Atwater? Grandpa Hank and I won't be long." She looked pleadingly at the two officers, who nodded to indicate that they were willing to take the little girl off Erin's hands.

"But you come back?" Kate asked immediately, pulling back alarmed from her place on Erin's hip, "You gonna come back?"

"Of course," Erin reassured her, "They'll just take you for some breakfast, and then I'll be back okay? I promise."

"What do you say Kev, I'm thinking…French toast. With strawberries," Ruzek winked at Kate, "How about you, little lady? Kev doesn't like to share so we'll definitely have to get you a whole pile of French toast with strawberries…and maybe bananas? What do you think?"

"Doesn't that sound delicious babes?" Erin asked, "I think that sounds so good."

"We bring some back for Mommy?" Kate asked, "She didn't eat e-der."

"Great idea," Hank confirmed, "Okay, Erin, we gotta go. We'll be back soon, kiddo."

"I love you," Erin whispered into her little girl's ear, holding her close against her chest, "Don't forget it. And I won't be long."

* * *

"One piece of French toast, I call that a victory," Ruzek said to Atwater as they entered the district. Atwater was holding Kate's hand gently and nodded in agreement. They had taken the littlest Halstead to the diner and convinced her to eat one slice of French toast. She has been practically silent the entire trip, only answering questions when she was asked. Kate was extremely fond of Atwater's gentle-giant persona but was clearly not feeling up to bantering with Ruzek like she normally did.

"You think Erin's gonna like the French toast?" Atwater asked Kate, shaking his hand lightly to get the little girl's attention, "I think the blueberries were a good choice."

Kate shrugged, "Is she back yet?"

"Not sure," Ruzek headed for the steps up to the office, "I didn't see Voight's car, but they'll probably be back any minute."

"Excuse me, do either of you know where I could find Sergeant Hank Voight?" A well-dressed woman stood from her seat on the bench, "It's rather important."

Ruzek and Atwater exchanged looks, Kate instinctively moving closer to Kevin's side. "Well, he's our boss, but he's out right now. What can we help you with?"

"My name is Margaret Cunningham, I'm a social worker from DCFS. I'm here in regards to the missing persons report that was filed on a Detective Jay Halstead," She glanced down at Kate, "I need to take his daughter into our custody. Are you Kate?" The social worker smiled kindly at the little girl.

Kate didn't say anything but stepped behind Kevin's leg. He put a protective arm in front of her. "Uh, ma'am, we've got things pretty much under control over here."

"Oh, Mr. Halstead has been located? Excellent, I just need to speak with him and I will be on my way," Ms. Cunningham looked around, "Do you know where I could find him?"

"He's, uh, indisposed, at the moment," Ruzek attempted, ever so slightly pushing Kate further behind Kevin's legs. The woman narrowed her eyes at him slowly.

"So he's still missing? In that case, I do need to bring Kate into our custody." She squatted down in front of the little girl, who was now trembling beside Kevin. Ruzek and Atwater exchanged nervous looks. "Hi sweetheart, do you mind coming with me? Just for a little chat? I work with a lot of kids, and when their parents aren't around, I come to help."

"Her mother is coming right back," Ruzek piped up, reaching into his pocket to dial Erin, "She's just out right now, but I'll call her."

The social worker stood and looked curiously at Atwater, "Kate's file shows that her mother is deceased."

"Uh, her biological mother. Detective Erin Lindsay is her mother, she's on her way back here, right now." Kevin reached down at lifted Kate into his arms. She buried her face in his neck, unwilling to look at the woman who wanted to take her away.

"Can we see your credentials?" Ruzek asked, extending his palm for a business card or another physical confirmation of Cunningham's employment, "And Lindsay will be back momentarily."

Margaret Cunningham reached into her purse and produced a business card. "And I can show you my social license as well if you like. But unfortunately, Ms. Lindsay is not a biological relative of Kate Halstead, therefore I cannot leave the child in her custody."

" _Detective_ Lindsay is her mother," Atwater argued.

"This kid has been through hell and back and you want to take her from her mother?" Ruzek was incredulous, "I'm sorry, but that is complete crap."

"I'm sorry officers, but until Detective Halstead returns or is found, the state says I need to bring Kate into our care." At that, the little girl whimpered slightly, tightening her grip around Atwater's neck. He could feel the tears dripping onto his shoulder and held his ground firmly, unwilling to pass the child into the social worker's waiting arms.

"You're going to have to wait until Detective Lindsay returns. She'll be here soon," Ruzek stated, turning to the door as he heard it getting pushed open.

"Kate?" Erin called, hurrying into the front desk area. Immediately, the little girl lifted her head off Kevin's shoulder and faced her mother with tear stained cheeks. "Oh, baby." She accepted the little girl from Atwater and cradled her against her chest, "I'm here, don't worry."

"She's trying to take me away," Kate wailed, bursting into tears, "I don't wanna go, I don't wanna!"

Erin faced the social worker angrily, "What is the meaning of this?"

"Detective Lindsay, my name is Margaret Cunningham, I'm here from DCFS to take Kate into our custody as her father was listed as a missing person this morning," the social worker said calmly, "And seeing as you are not of biological relation, I cannot leave the child with you."

"Bullshit," Erin spat, holding Kate tighter, "I'm her mother. I'm in the process of adopting her."

"While that may be the case, you are not currently her legal guardian. Legally, the state requires me to take this child and I am asking for your cooperation on this."

"You don't have it," Erin sputtered, "This is my daughter. You cannot just take her from me." She was dangerously close to tears through her fury, glaring at the woman menacingly, "You can't."

"I'm sorry, but I have to. Her father is missing." Margaret Cunningham reached toward the little girl.

Kate elicited a shriek and clung tighter to Erin. "No, no, no! I'm not goin'!"

"Just until your father returns," the social worker said, "Only for a little bit."

"No!" Kate sobbed, "No, no, no!"

"I can't let you take her," Erin shook her head furiously, tears now trickling down her own cheeks, "She's my _daughter._ "

"I'm sorry, I really am. But it's required by law." The woman reached out again.

"Erin," Hank said. He had entered the district but had been standing quietly by the door, "I think you need to let the woman do her job."

"No!" Erin and Kate said simultaneously. Erin glared at Hank, "She stays with me."

"It might be for the best, until we find Halstead," Hank reasoned, "Keep her away from everything."

"No, no, please!" Kate wept, "Please don't let her take me away, Mommy, please!"

* * *

 **Eeeeeeeep please review!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Oops sorry for leaving y'all hanging like that...**

* * *

"Don't make me go," Kate whimpered, clinging tightly to Erin as they stood in the lobby of the 21st District, "I don't wanna go, I don't."

"I know you don't want to come with me, sweetheart, but it will be okay." Social worker Margaret Cunningham smiled kindly, "Just until we find your dad."

"W-what about Will?" Erin asked, realizing that her boyfriend's brother was biologically related to Kate, "Will Halstead, Jay's older brother. He works down at Chicago Med, can Kate stay with him?"

Cunningham furrowed her brow, "Maybe. I'll have to call my boss. If you can get him down here, that would be great."

Erin pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket with one hand and quickly called Will, "I-I need you to come down to the station, right now. They're trying to take Kate away from me, I need you here, please, Will," Erin rushed out, tears still trickling down her face, "Okay, okay, thanks." She breathed a sigh of relief, "He's on his way."

"There still needs to be approval from my supervisor," Cunningham warned, "I cannot guarantee that Kate will be allowed to stay with Detective Halstead's brother."

"He's a surgeon," Erin informed her, "And he can stay with us so that Kate doesn't have to leave. You've read her file, you _know_ what happened to her. My daughter has been through so much, it wouldn't be fair to place her with strangers." Tears welled in Erin's eyes but she fought to keep them back, "And we're going to find my partner. Soon. I know him, and he wouldn't be gone without having a really good reason."

* * *

"Erin!" Will raced into the 21st district less than fifteen minutes after he had been called. He was still clad in his maroon scrubs and had a surgical mask around his neck. "Kate!"

"We're here," Erin replied tiredly, sitting on the bench with Kate clinging desperately to her mother, "We're okay."

"Will Halstead," Will extended his palm to the woman looking expectantly at him, "Jay's brother. Kate's uncle. Can you please fill me in on what's going on here? You're trying to take my niece away from her mother?"

"The state requires me to intervene when a child's parent or parents are listed as a missing person. Because Detective Halstead is Kate's only biological parent, I have been asked to take Kate into DCFS' custody. However, as a blood relative, you are able to have temporary guardianship until Detective Halstead is found."

"Good," Will stated, "I'll do it. But I'll be staying with Erin and Kate at their apartment. There's no need to cause my niece any more stress than what she's already facing," he smiled kindly at Erin, who relaxed against the wooden bench in relief.

"That's fine. I'll check back in a few days." The social worker turned on her heel and exited the building, the entire room exhaling.

"Thank God," Erin murmured as Will sat next to her, "And thank you for coming so quickly."

"I would do anything for you or Kate, you know that." Will wrapped an arm around Erin's shoulders.

She nodded, "Thanks guys," she looked up at Ruzek and Atwater, who were standing rigidly by the steps, "For keeping her safe."

"Always, Erin." Ruzek nodded, Atwater bobbing his head in agreement, "And we'll find Jay soon enough."

* * *

Erin sat behind her desk with Kate fast asleep on her shoulder while she worked through an old report. Unfortunately, the trip downtown for Jay's car had been unsuccessful and they were still no closer to finding her partner. Will had returned to Med to finish out his shift in the ED, but promised to return to their apartment later that evening. "How are you holding up?" Hank asked, emerging from his office and leaning against Jay's empty desk.

She shrugged, running a hand over Kate's back. "I don't know…I mean, they almost took her away from me today," Erin swallowed, "And right now, she's the only thing keeping me together. If-if Will hadn't been able to step in, I don't know what I'd do."

Hank nodded in understanding. "I know it's been hard for you, kid. I do. And I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but there's a possibility of Halstead not coming back."

Erin set her jaw, "No, he's going to come back. I still don't know why he left. He wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't do that to Kate."

"I know, Erin, but he may be hurt and he could be dead," Hank said gently, "Jay's a good man and I don't think he would just up and leave you for days on end, which is why I think something's happened to him. And it's tough, but you need to be prepared for that possibility."

She shook her head, tears trickling down her cheeks for what felt like the hundredth time that day, "I-I can't think like that. This little person is depending on me to be strong and if I start believing that's he's not coming back or that he's _dead_ , there's no way I can do my job as a mother." Erin sniffed, "So we're going to find him. We have to find him."

Hank nodded again and was about to open his mouth before Erin's cell phone rang. "Hey Will," she breathed, "What?" Her eyes widened and she sat up rapidly, disrupting her little girl from sleep, "We'll be there in ten." She looked to her father figure, "Jay's at Med. Will couldn't talk."

"Let's go," Hank picked up Kate's coat from atop Jay's desk.

"Baby, we're going to the hospital. Uncle Will's with Daddy," Erin said as she stood with sleepy Kate in her arms.

"Daddy?" She asked tiredly, "He found?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Erin accepted Kate's coat from Hank and slipped her into it, "We're going right now to see him, okay?"

"'kay," Kate looked more awake and took Erin's hand as they followed Hank to the Escalade.

* * *

"Will!" Erin shouted, hustling through the ED. Hank followed closely behind, holding Kate in his arms. She caught sight of the red-headed doctor coming out of an exam room, "Where is he? What happened to him? Have you seen him? Is he okay?"

"He's here," Will confirmed, discarding of his rubber gloves, "Physically, he's fine."

"Physically? What happened to him? Where has he been?" Erin rapidly looked over Dr. Halstead's shoulder in search of her partner, "Where is he? Can I see him?"

"Slow down, Er." Will placed a hand on her shoulder, "Jay's not hurt. Mouse brought him in."

"Mouse?" Erin paused her frantic search and looked at Will incredulously, "Mouse, as in, Greg Gurwitz?"

Will nodded, "Jay drove to Columbus, I guess to find Mouse? He said Jay was really out of it and that he basically fell asleep for twenty four hours."

"And he didn't call me?" Erin shouted, "Where is he?"

"Mouse brought him here because Jay wasn't making sense, Erin. He's up in CT right now."

"W-what?" Erin asked, taking a step back from her partner's brother, "They think something's wrong with his brain?"

"I don't know, that's why they're doing the scan. I was in surgery when he was brought in, but he should be coming back any second."

"Where's Mouse?" Erin choked out, Hank placing a comforting hand on his daughter's back, "Is he here?"

"Present," Mouse said, poking his head out of a trauma bay, "Good to see you, Erin."

"What happened?" She managed, giving the former Intelligence tech wizard an awkward hug, "What happened to Jay?"

"He showed up at my place at like six in the morning, absolutely freaking out. Kept saying that he was a danger to you, that he had a kid, all sorts of stuff. Then he passed out on my couch for like eighteen hours, and I had to go to training, and I got back and he was saying all this same stuff and then I drove him back here." Mouse looked over to Hank. "Hey Sarge. Who's the kid?"

"Jay's daughter. My daughter," Erin said tersely, "And you didn't think to call me?"

"He didn't have his phone," Mouse squeaked out, "And he started saying all this stuff about how you'd be better off if he stayed away, that he could have hurt you, and I didn't know…"

"Doctor Halstead?" A nurse interrupted, causing everyone to turn toward her, "Detective Halstead is asking for you."

Erin nodded toward the doctor and looked back at Mouse, "He said he thought he'd be better off if he went away?"

"He said that you'd be better off," Mouse corrected her, "He was all torn up about being damaged goods and that he wasn't cut out to be a father, that his kid would be better with you, that he could have hurt her…I didn't realize he actually had a kid. Hi, I'm Greg, but everyone calls me Mouse."

Kate looked at the man in front of her warily and then over to Erin, "We gonna see Daddy?"

"Yes, we are baby, just hang on." Erin smiled gently at the little girl before turning back to Mouse. "You had him committed?"

"No!" Mouse exclaimed, "He was freaking out about hurting people or something. I just brought him here. It was Jay who wanted to come." He turned around, "I gotta catch a bus back to Columbus, but tell Jay to call me, okay?"

"I-I need to talk to him," Erin stuttered, starting down the hallway in the direction that Will had gone, "Hank, stay with Kate please. I'll-I'll be right back." She continued down the hallway until she saw Jay's name on the door. Without hesitation, she flung the door open to see her partner sitting on the hospital bed in what were his pajamas from two nights before, looking as haggard as she had ever seen him.

"Er-" Jay started, but Erin held up her hand.

"What the _fuck_ Halstead? You decided that you were just going to get up in the middle of the night and leave me? Leave Kate? How could you do that to me? To us?" Tears dripped down her cheeks before she could stop them, "And Mouse tells me that you think we'd be better off without you? How could you even _think_ such a thing? I've been in hell for the past two days, Jay. I don't understand why you would just leave, I thought you were dead." Erin's voice broke and she began crying in earnest, "It isn't fair, I'm so mad at you right now but," She burst into tears. Will quickly stood from the stool he was swiveling on and held Erin upright, guiding her over to the bed.

"I'm sorry," Jay choked out, tears sluicing off his cheeks as Erin crumbled against him, "I am so, so sorry, Erin."

"What happened?" She whispered after a moment, sitting up and taking a deep breath, trying to regain her composure, "You _left._ "

"I _hit_ you," Jay cast his eyes downward, "I woke up to you shaking me awake, and all I remember is thinking someone was attacking me and me punching you." More tears rolled down his cheeks, "I-I had to leave but I was like basically half asleep and I needed to talk to Mouse and I just drove and I passed out and I don't even remember getting there…" He trailed off, unable to complete the sentence, "I _hit_ you, Erin."

"I'm fine, babe," Erin murmured, running a hand through his hair and down his shoulders, "I'm fine,"

"I _know_ how hard I hit you," Jay's voice broke, "What if Kate had been in bed with us? What if you hadn't woken me up? Erin, I am a _danger_ to both you and Kate."

Erin shook her head vehemently, "No, stop it. How could you even think that, Jay? It was one bad night. We had an incredibly emotional day. And we can get you counseling or therapy or whatever, but so help me God if you think that running away from us is the right thing to do, I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Babe…"

"No, Jay, you listen to me. You remember what you told Kate when she tried to run away because she thought we'd be safer if she went back to that bastard? You said that it would hurt us more. And if you left, it would hurt Kate and I more than you could ever imagine." Erin closed her eyes briefly, willing the tears to abate, "I have been in _hell_ the past two days. Kate's barely slept, barely eaten and I thought you were _dead._ " She touched his cheek, "Do…do you remember leaving?"

Jay shook his head slowly, "I remember waking up and then waking up again at Mouse's place. I mean, I think there are moments…oh my God, did I yell at Kate?" He widened his eyes in horror when Erin nodded grimly, "Something is wrong with me, Erin."

"Babe," Erin cupped his face with her hands, "We'll figure it out, okay? But you aren't going anywhere, promise me that."

He nodded, eyes drifting to her shoulder. "Let me see it."

"See what?" Erin asked nonchalantly, dread filling her stomach because she knew what he wanted to see.

"Where I punched you," he whispered hoarsely, "Will said you have a bruise."

Erin shot a look at the other Halstead brother, having forgotten he was in the room with them. "Please, Erin," he begged, "Just let me see it."

She sighed heavily and pulled over the collar on her shirt, revealing a darkening bruise on her shoulder. "It's fine, Jay. Really."

"It's not," Jay uttered, leaning down to press a kiss upon her injured shoulder, "I am so sorry for everything I put you through."

"We're going to figure it out, babe," Erin promised, "We can get you a meeting with Doctor Charles, with any specialist, but you leaving is not an option, okay?"

"Okay," Jay breathed, wiping his eyes, "Okay."

"I'm going to get Kate," Will piped up, standing from the stool and heading for the door.

Once he was out of earshot, Erin turned back to Jay, "Your brother was amazing. He took yesterday off to be with Kate while I scoured the city, looking for you."

"Nice of him to show up," Jay muttered, tiredly rubbing his eyes.

"Jay, today a social worker from DCFS came down to the station and tried to take Kate," Erin said firmly. Jay's jaw dropped. "And she would have taken her if Will hadn't come by and said that he would be her legal guardian until you returned."

"They almost took her away from you?" Jay was beside himself, "They can't do that."

"You were a missing person," Erin informed him, "So yeah, they could have. And Will stepped up and kept her with me, so we owe him big time."

"Shit," Jay blew out a breath, turning to the door when Dr. Abrams knocked. The man entered, bearing a chart.

"Detective Halstead, your CT scan looks fine. From what you told me, your symptoms indicate that you're suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In some cases, though uncommon, PTSD can lead to extended blackouts as a result of anxiety-inducing situations and flashbacks. I'm going to recommend you speak with Doctor Charles and proceed from there, but you are otherwise healthy, physically." The brusque older doctor raised his eyebrows, "Any questions?"

"His head is fine?" Erin asked, looking for confirmation that her partner was alright.

"Yes. The fact that he got himself all the way to Ohio in the blackout state he was in is nothing short of a miracle. Doctor Charles will be in to see you in a few minutes to discuss other treatment options, but my job here is done." He looked over at Erin and Jay, "Bets of luck, detectives."

"Thanks." Jay said, turning his focus back to Erin. "Will's right, that guy is such a dick," he murmured after the doctor had left the room.

"Well at least we know your head is fine," Erin stroked his cheek, "And that you can come home with us."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jay asked carefully, "Erin, what if I hit you again? Or Kate? I don't know what's happening to me, I can't risk hurting either of you."

Erin shook her head adamantly, "You're not going to hurt us, okay? We'll talk with Doctor Charles, but we need you at home, with us." Her lower lip quivered slightly, "I-I can't-I haven't slept and I've never been the kind of person who needs somebody so much, but I _need_ you Jay. And Kate does too." Despite all the tears she had shed over the past 48 hours, a few more crept out of the corners of Erin's eyes, "Come home, babe. Please."

* * *

"Is my daddy sick?" Kate asked Hank softly as they sat in the hospital waiting room for Erin or Will. She was seated in her grandfather's lap quietly, and had barely said a few words since arriving at Chicago Med.

"I…I don't really know, kiddo," Hank said honestly, rubbing her arm gently, "We'll see what Will says and when your mom gets back. But everything is fine, alright?"

She nodded, appearing unconvinced. "But Grandpa Hank, why did that man say that Daddy would be better off without me and Mommy?" Kate looked expectantly at him, "How come he thinks that?"

"I'm not sure he does, I think he's just having a tough time right now," Hank attempted, unsure of the appropriate course of action to take with the little girl. It wasn't his place to talk about Jay's business, and he didn't want to be the one to tell her that her father had been struggling for years and basically snapped, likely the result of such an emotionally grueling day.

"It's because of me," Kate said sadly, glancing down at her hands.

"What? What are you talking about, kiddo?" Hank looked down at Kate, alarmed, "You had nothing to do with what happened to Jay."

She shook her head slowly, "No, I'm the reason Daddy left. Cause I _telled_ him and Mommy and the law-yer 'bout what happened with Mr. P." Kate looked up at Hank with clear and knowing eyes, "I made him upset. That's how come he left. He don't want me no more."

"Oh, no, no, no," Hank reassured her, "Kate, I've known your dad for a few years now, and he's been struggling with a lot of uh, bad memories. But he wants you, more than anything. I can promise you that, okay?"

"But I made his heart hurt _worse,_ " Kate insisted, "I telled him 'bout how I used to get hurt and he thought it was his fault but it's not!"

"I know, I know," Hank rubbed her back gently, trying to calm down the child who was rapidly unraveling in his lap, "And he knows it wasn't his fault, sweetheart. He does. What happened to him a few nights ago has to do with his time in the military. Jay loves you so much and nothing that happened is your fault."

"He was 'memberin' 'f-gan-istan?" She cocked her head to one side in curiosity, "That's how come Daddy got upset?"

"That's what it sounds like," Hank confirmed, looking up to see Will walking down the hallway, "Look, Will's back." He glanced desperately at the young doctor, but Will didn't notice his expression.

"He's okay," Will breathed, squatting down before Kate, "Your dad is going to be just fine, Monkey."

Kate eyed her uncle warily, "Daddy's not still upset 'bout 'f-gan-istan?"

Will looked up at Hank, surprised. The sergeant nodded slowly and pinched the bridge between his eyes, clearly overwhelmed by the little girl's intuition. "Well, kiddo, it's going to take a bit for Jay to be alright, but he's well on his way, okay?" Will smiled reassuringly, "You don't need to worry."

"Is it 'cause he killed people over there?" Kate asked quietly, "Mr. Bowler said that Daddy killed people."

"Bowler is a liar," Hank blurted out, instantly regretting what he said when Will shot him a look, "He is just, um, a really bad man. And he's going to jail too, so you don't need to worry about him."

"So he was lyin'?" Kate probed, "All the things he said 'bout Mommy and Daddy, they weren't true?"

Will and Hank exchanged glances, both entirely out of their depth. Kate hadn't yet asked about the accusations Bowler made against them during Joseph Pierce's trial, so Erin and Jay hadn't addressed them. "I-I don't know what Ed Bowler said, kiddo, but what I do know is that Erin and Jay love you so much. They want to spend the rest of their lives with you, okay?"

"How come the lady tried to take me away then?" Kate asked, "She didn't want me to stay with Mommy." The little girl paused, becoming increasingly worked up, "Are Mommy and Daddy _bad_?"

"No, no, no," Will insisted, patting the little girl's knee, "Kate, Erin and Jay are the absolute _best_ people I know. No matter what happened in their past, they are very, very good people. And they wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"Then why did she want me?" Kate whispered.

Will sighed, taking a seat beside Hank in an uncomfortable waiting room chair, "Because Jay is your biological father. And when we didn't know where he was, the state was required to come make sure that you were okay. And when they saw that you were safe with me, and with your mom, they didn't want to take you. That lady was just trying to make sure you were safe."

"So I don't gotta leave?" Kate relaxed when Will shook his head, "And Daddy's gonna be okay?"

"He's going to be even better when he sees you," Will smiled tiredly, "Do you want to go see him?"

Kate nodded eagerly, hopping off Hank's lap and taking Will's outstretched hand.

* * *

 **Up next: Linstead family reunion! I figured I owe y'all one :) And don't worry, I haven't abandoned this - work is crazy so it's going to be a few days in between updates rather than every day!  
**


	39. Chapter 39

**Family reunion! Please leave a review (honestly I read every one and they are a great reminder for me to get things up in a timely manner lol)**

* * *

"Where's Will?" Jay turned to Erin after Dr. Charles exited the hospital room, "Didn't he say he was going to get Kate?"

"Maybe he took her to get something to eat?" Erin pulled her cell phone out of her coat pocket, "She must be starving. I think Kev and Ruzek convinced her to eat one piece of French toast but that's literally all she's managed. Oh, and Will got her to eat ice cream. Last night. Or early this morning? I don't remember," Erin started a text to Will.

"Why hasn't she been eating?" Jay asked, realizing the answer to his question as soon as it left his lips, " _Oh._ "

Erin grimaced slightly and glanced up from her cell phone, "She hasn't been hungry. Will's worried that she's going to get sick, but I think once she sees that you're okay, she'll be fine," She smiled and rubbed Jay's arm, "It's okay, babe."

"It's not, though," Jay replied, "I _yelled_ at her. She's probably scared of me now. And I just can't believe I put the two of you through this." He buried his head in his hands, "I'm so sorry, Erin."

"Babe," Erin rubbed his shoulders, "What did Doctor Charles just come in here and say? It's not your fault. You went through a lot of shit over there, and not talking about it hasn't been working out for you. She's smart, if you tell her what's going on, I'm sure she'll understand."

"Alright," Jay managed weakly, glancing toward the door. Will waved and pointed downward, indicating that Kate was by his side. Erin gestured for him to enter.

The little girl looked incredibly nervous as she stood beside her uncle, clutching Will's hand tightly as she regarded her parents. They both looked absolutely exhausted, but Erin looked relieved. "Hi, Squirt," Jay choked out, offering a smile. His daughter's eyes were still red from all the tears from the past few days and there were dark circles around her eyes standing out starkly on her pale face. She looked bone-tired and fragile as she looked up at her parents anxiously.

"It's okay, Monkey," Will said, slowly entering the room, "Your dad is going to be just fine."

"Hi Daddy," Kate whispered after a moment of sizing up her father, taking a tentative step into the room with Will, "You-you feelin' better?"

"I am, now that you're here," Jay smiled wider, "I am so sorry for everything, kiddo. I really am."

"You gonna stay?" Kate asked, glancing over to Erin and then back to Jay, "You not leavin' no more?"

"I'm never leaving you again," he promised, "And I'm sorry I raised my voice the other day. I-I wasn't myself. But I'm okay now."

Kate's rigid posture relaxed and she released Will's hand, closing the gap between herself and her father. "I missed you Daddy," she murmured, allowing him to tenderly lift the child into his lap, "I missed you so much."

"I missed you more," Jay replied, holding back tears, "I'm so sorry." He buried his face in her soft hair, feeling some semblance of peace now that he had his little girl back in his arms, "I'm so sorry."

"You had a bad nightmare," Kate pulled back from his embrace and gently stroked her father's arm, "I get those, too."

Erin ran a hand over the back of Kate's head, "You and Daddy are very similar."

"Where did you go?" Kate asked quietly, "Mommy and Uncle Will and Grandpa Hank couldn't find you. They thought you might be _dead_ and I was so worried 'bout you."

Jay looked at Erin, as if asking permission to tell his daughter the whole truth. She nodded slightly and placed a comforting hand on his back. He took a deep breath, "So, you know that I get nightmares sometimes, just like you. And the other night, I had a really bad one. And I hadn't had one in a while. And to be honest with you, kiddo, I don't remember a lot of what happened. I know that I accidentally hit Mommy in the shoulder, and that I yelled at both of you. And my friend Mouse, who I was in Afghanistan with, lives out in Ohio. And I remember waking up on his couch, but I don't remember getting there."

Kate listened intently as her father recalled what happened to him. "So today, Mouse drove me back here, because I was worried that there might be something going on in my brain. And I have something called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which can happen to people after they've been in the military."

"You sick?" Kate widened her eyes in fear and then looked over at Will and to Erin, "Is Daddy gonna _die_?"

"No, no, sweetheart," Erin reassured her, "Daddy's gonna be just fine."

"How come he's in the hospital?" Kate asked worriedly, gripping Jay's arm tightly, "I-I don't want you to be sick."

"So the thing with PTSD is that I'm not sick physically, in my body. It's more that I have flashbacks and sometimes when I wake up, I don't know what's going on," Jay tried to explain, "And that's why I'm in the hospital, to talk to our friend Doctor Charles, who's going to help me sort through what's going on in my head."

Kate nodded slowly, "Like how come I talk to Dr. Handel? 'cause I get scared a lot?"

"Actually, a lot like that," Jay confirmed, "Some of thing things I saw and did in Afghanistan make me really scared of stuff here. So I'm going to talk to Dr. Charles regularly and get better."

"You comin' home though, right?" Kate asked hopefully, "Mommy don't sleep when you not there. And I don't e-der."

Jay smiled softly, "Yes, I'm coming home. And I'm not leaving."

"Good." Kate sighed and leaned into her father's embrace, "Me and Mommy missed you lots."

Erin pressed a kiss on Jay's shoulder and stroked Kate's hair, "What do you say we all head home? Maybe pick up some Chinese food on the way?"

Kate nodded against Jay's chest, "I am hungry now. I-I was too worried to eat, but now I feel better, cause Daddy's back."

Jay smiled sadly and looked up at his brother, "Thanks for everything man. I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," Will said, "I'm always here for your girls, brother."

Erin smiled tiredly, leaning against Jay's shoulder, "Really, Will. I don't know what I would have done without you. And the whole thing with DCFS and taking care of Kate-"

"You can call me at any time, Erin," Will replied, "I wasn't there for my family when they needed me and I'm trying to change that. So anything you need, you, Kate, Jay, Hank…I'll be there."

* * *

"I'm going to step into the shower, babe," Jay decided, setting an extremely sleepy Kate down carefully on the couch, "I'll just be a minute."

"Sounds good," Erin exhaled and sank heavily on the couch next to her little girl. Kate tiredly cuddled against her while Erin threaded her fingers through her baby's soft locks, so thankful to be home with her entire family.

Hank had been extraordinarily relieved to hear that Jay was alright and demanded that he take a few days off to get himself straight. He had insisted Erin take the day as well, in order to get the good night sleep she desperately needed. "We're going to eat in a few minutes, sweetheart," Erin murmured to Kate, scratching her scalp lightly to rise the little girl out of her almost-sleeping state, "Then we can go to sleep, okay? I know you're exhausted."

"I didn't sleep last night much," Kate whispered groggily, clambering into Erin's lap and sagging against her chest, "I was too scared that Daddy was gone forever."

"I know, I was too, baby." Erin pressed a kiss atop Kate's head, "But Daddy's back now, and we're going to be alright."

"And they puttin' Mr. P in jail too, right?" Kate asked, "So I don't gotta be worried 'bout anything?"

"That's right," Erin nodded, having completely forgotten that the psychopath who had brutalized and traumatized her little girl was finally in custody and awaiting sentencing before trial, "He's in jail and he's not getting out."

"I'm glad he didn't get Daddy," Kate mumbled, "That's what I was most worried 'bout. That he would get out of jail and hurt Daddy like he hurt you."

"Well, that's not going to happen," Erin promised, standing up with Kate in her arms, "What do you say you and I set the table so that we can eat as soon as Daddy gets out of the shower, hm?"

* * *

"'m glad you're back, Daddy," Kate breathed as she rested against her father's chest. Following a quick dinner, the reunited family had convened on the sofa to watch an episode of Animal Planet and head to bed early. Erin was spent and dangerously close to falling asleep on Jay's shoulder but was willing herself to keep her eyes open. Kate was exhausted as well, though she was far more captivated by the meercats than her mother.

"I'm glad too, Squirt," Jay kissed the top of his baby's head and smoothed Erin's hair back. She stirred gently against his shoulder and glanced over at the clock on the cable box.

"I think it's time for bed, baby," Erin mumbled, slowly peeling herself off Jay's shoulder, "I'm sleepy, and you must be too."

Kate shook her head and tried to stifle a yawn. "I don't wanna sleep," she whispered, glancing nervously up at her parents, "I don't want anything to happen."

Erin and Jay exchanged looks, "Sweetheart, nothing bad is going to happen, I promise," Jay said seriously, "You will be perfectly safe, alright?" The little girl didn't respond, so Jay stood with her in his tired arms.

"B-but I-I don't wanna sleep in my bed," Kate whimpered as Jay carried the exhausted little girl from the couch toward her bedroom, "I wanna be with you and Mommy."

He paused in the doorway to Kate's bedroom and glanced over his shoulder at Erin. She nodded in agreement as she replaced the throw pillows on the couch, "We could use a sleepover tonight," she decided, turning toward the master bedroom, "Come on, I'm beat."

Jay chuckled and carried Kate back across the living room toward his bed, the little girl having relaxed considerably against him. "I just wanna be with you and Mommy," Kate mumbled as he set her down carefully on the mattress, "I sleep best with you guys."

He smiled as Erin settled in next to her little girl. "I'll be back in a few minutes, okay? You guys get some sleep."

Erin looked up at him, surprised, "You're not coming to bed?"

"In a bit," Jay said, gently kissing her forehead and then Kate's, "I'm just going to make a call."

She raised her eyebrows suspiciously, but was too tired to physically drag her partner into the bed, "Hurry, okay?"

"I will," Jay smiled, switching off the bedside lamp and padding softly to the living room.

* * *

Erin startled awake after escaping the grips of a horrible dream-Jay was missing and she couldn't find him anywhere, and Kate had been taken by DCFS. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she realized that there was a small body pressed against her chest, snuggled in closely with the comforter almost covering her head. Erin smiled gratefully, knowing all too well that DCFS could have taken her baby girl away for no other reason that that she wasn't biologically related to her. She reached an arm out, expecting to find the warm body of her partner, but was instead met with cold sheets.

 _That_ snapped Erin out of her sleepy state. She blinked her eyes and checked again, but Jay was not in bed. The clock on his bedside table indicated that it was just after one in the morning, and she and Kate had been sleeping for some time. As carefully as she could, Erin extracted herself from the confines of the cozy bed and hurried across the living room toward her daughter's bedroom, hoping that Jay had crashed in her bed. When she saw that Kate's bed was empty, Erin's stomach dropped. She turned for the kitchen and stopped short when she saw her partner, fast asleep on the living room couch.

Erin exhaled the breath she had been holding and willed her heart to stop racing. Jay was safe in their home and sleeping soundly. She crept quietly over to their sofa and perched on the edge. Awoken by the dip in the cushions, Jay blearily cracked open one eye and looked up at his partner. "Hi babe. What are you doing up?" he mumbled, lazily swiping a hand over his face.

"A better question is why are you sleeping on the couch?" Erin retorted gently, lightly running her fingertips over his arms, "You didn't come to bed?"

"I-I must have fallen asleep after I talked to Mouse," Jay attempted. Erin frowned, clearly seeing right through his lie.

"You don't need to lie to me, Jay," Erin whispered, pausing her touch on his chest, "I know you."

Jay sighed and swallowed, "I uh, didn't want to hurt you. Or Kate."

"Babe," Erin breathed, laying down in the small space between the couch cushion and her partner, placing her head on his shoulder, "You don't need to worry about that, okay? Dr. Charles said that it probably wouldn't happen again, and the best course of action was to resume your daily routine."

"I know," Jay replied slowly, threading his fingers through Erin's hair, "I just couldn't bear the thought of hurting you again." He kissed the crown of her head, "How's the shoulder?"

"I'm fine, I promise," Erin insisted, reaching up a hand to cup his cheek, "I would be a whole lot better if we were sleeping in the same bed."

"Mm, a few more minutes," Jay replied, "I'm comfortable."

Erin chuckled and nestled in closer, inhaling the scent of Jay's aftershave as she pressed her face against his neck.

* * *

Kate rolled over, expecting to feel her mother's tired arms around her shoulders but instead hit a large overstuffed pillow. She sat up immediately and glanced around her parent's bedroom, neither Erin nor Jay in sight. As quickly as she could, Kate shed the comforter and hurried to the living room, hoping that at least one of her parents were still in the apartment. She assumed the worst, that Erin and Jay had left after deciding that she was too big a burden to bear.

When she saw that Erin was cuddled up against Jay, both detectives fast asleep on the couch, Kate had never been more relieved. She padded over to the couch and lay a gentle hand on her father's chest. "Hey Squirt," Jay mumbled, tilting his head slightly, "Did you have a bad dream?"

Kate shook her head, "How come you and Mommy are sleepin' out here?"

Jay widened his eyes, realizing that he and Erin were indeed still lying on the couch. "Oh. I guess we fell asleep out here," he paused, taking in his little girl's expression, "Oh, kiddo, I'm sorry. You must have been worried when you woke up and neither of us were in bed."

She nodded tiredly. "I come snuggle with you and Mommy?"

"That sounds like a plan. I'll bring you and Mommy to bed a little later, hm?" He extended an arm, allowing Kate to clamber onto his chest. She delicately laid her head down beneath his chin, the rhythmic beating of his heart soothing her into a deep slumber.

* * *

"Mm," Erin mumbled, shivering slightly with her eyes still closed. She was cuddled up to a very warm body, but her toes were absolutely frozen. She opened her eyes and immediately smiled, coming face-to-face with her angelic sleeping baby.

"Morning, babe," Jay whispered into her hair, one arm wrapped around her body keeping her close, the other across Kate's sleeping form and resting on Erin's hip, "Did you sleep well?"

"The best," Erin replied, "What time did Kate join us?"

"Not entirely sure," Jay said, "You fell asleep and I was gonna take us to bed but then I fell asleep. And Kate woke me up since she woke up worried that we'd left, and then I fell asleep again."

"I guess out of all the places to crash, this isn't the worst. Though our bed does have the benefit of covers. And a little more space." She wrinkled her nose, "And my feet are _freezing._ "

Jay chuckled and titled his head down to lightly kiss her nose, "Well, we slept in a bit, so maybe we could head to that diner you like for some breakfast? And before you say anything, yes, I'll make the coffee before we leave."

"My hero," Erin smiled, extracting one arm from its place almost underneath her partner to stroke her little girl's back, "Good morning, Kate."

The child's eyes fluttered open slowly. "Hi," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly, "We sleeped on the couch."

"Mm-hm. How about we get dressed and head out to the diner for some breakfast?" Jay suggested, "I think I could go for a big omelet, what do you say?"

"Woo-zek had omelet yesterday," Kate informed him, "And he had pancakes and he ax-iden-ly poured the syrup on the eggs."

"That's disgusting," Erin declared, propping herself up on the couch, "But I'm starving. And I could definitely eat another round of French toast."

"Me too!" Kate smiled widely, "Do you think I can get blueberries, strawberries _and_ bananas?"

"Maybe," Jay sat up and placed her on the ground, "Can you go pick out some clothes while I start the coffee?"

"Cause Mommy likes your coffee better than diner coffee," Kate nodded in understanding, "Big socks Mommy?"

"And a sweater," Erin confirmed, "It's really chilly out there today. And windy."

"Better than diner coffee?" Jay winked at Erin as he started the machine, "I don't know, that's a pretty low bar babe."

"You _know_ you make the best coffee," Erin wrapped her arms around Jay's waist, "I don't know, I think I missed that most of all."

* * *

 **Phew. Raise your hand if you're glad the family is back together again! Gotta get that good karma because nothing stays peaceful for long in Chicago :)  
**


	40. Chapter 40

**I am actually really pleased with how this chapter turned out, so please let me know what you think!**

* * *

"You ate all your French toast," Jay glanced down at Kate's plate in surprise. She had managed three pieces of the kiddie menu's French toast in addition to all the fruit that topped it, "Good job."

"I was really hungry," Kate replied, a bit of syrup on her cheek, "Cause I was so worried the other days. And now I'm not." She smiled brightly up at Erin, who carefully wiped her cheek with a napkin.

"I'm glad you're hungry now. Are you full?" Erin asked, smiling when Kate nodded seriously.

"I'm sooooo full," she giggled as Erin booped her nose, "I liked the fruit."

"You are a little fruit monster," Jay said teasingly, earning another joyful giggle from his daughter. Erin beamed at him, so thankful to have her partner back and to see their little girl happy again. Kate was so intuitive of her parent's emotions that watching Erin stress about Jay sent the child into quite a funk. Will had later informed Erin that when he was keeping an eye on Kate while Erin was searching for Jay, the little girl had barely eaten, slept or even spoken. But once Jay returned and Erin had relaxed, Kate was like another child.

"I not a _monster_ , Daddy!" Kate squealed, "Deys no such thing as monsters!"

"You're right," Jay wiggled his eyebrows, "Now, I think it would be really fun if we went to build a snowman in the park. Does that sound like fun to you?"

"Yes!" Kate gushed, "So fun!"

"We better go home to get our snow pants, then," Erin decided, "And gloves and scarves and hats."

Kate nodded eagerly, scooting out of the booth after her mother. "Can we build a snow-doggy too, Daddy?"

"We can try," Jay said, helping the little girl put her winter coat on, "We'll see what we can do but I think a snow-dog can be arranged."

"Erin!" A high-pitched voice called out as the bell above the door jingled, "Erin!"

Kate, Jay and Erin turned to the source of the exuberant holler and saw Bunny Fletcher standing in the entrance to the diner, pulling her gloves off. "Hey, honey!" Bunny exclaimed, quickly approaching the family. Kate immediately shrank behind Jay, gripping his jeans tightly in her fists.

"Mom," Erin said tersely, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I came for breakfast, of course," Bunny replied, "You can put the armor down, sweetie. I'm meeting a friend." She looked over at Jay, "Oh, Jay, nice to see you. And your little girl," Bunny smiled sweetly at Kate, who was now fully behind her father's legs. "Shy one you have there."

"She knows not to trust you," Erin said through gritted teeth, "We'll be going now."

"We should meet up for a drink. You know, catch up. We haven't had any real mother daughter time in so long, sweetie. I miss you. And you've been so distant lately, is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, Mom, just busy," Erin replied, placing a gentle hand on Kate's back, "I'll have to rain check on that drink though, maybe some other time."

"What, you're not drinking?" Bunny raised her eyebrows, "Are you _pregnant_?" She reached a hand out and touched Erin's flat stomach, "I thought you looked chubbier! Am I going to be a _grandmother_?"

"I'm _not_ pregnant," Erin hissed, swatting her mother's hand away, "Like I said, I'm busy. And I'm wearing a sweater, thank you very much."

"Just as well," Bunny spat, "You're not cut out to be a mother."

Erin opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn't find the words to retort. "Actually, Erin an amazing mother, despite of the fact that she didn't have one growing up," Jay snarled, "You have no business telling Erin that she isn't a good mother. You have absolutely no idea." He placed a hand on his girl's shoulder.

"You'll never be a grandmother, not to any of my kids," Erin said, "Not after what you did to my child. That is unforgivable." Bunny didn't reply. "We're leaving," she squeezed Jay's arm, "Don't call me."

"Have a nice life, Bunny," Jay said, scooping his frightened little girl into his embrace and heading out the door behind Erin.

* * *

"God, I can't believe her," Erin said as she leaned against the passenger seat in exasperation, "She is _such_ a bitch." She winced, immediately remembering that there was a four year old in the backseat who was not only incredibly perceptive, but very intelligent. "Sorry."

"She's just a bad person, Er," Jay said as he drove along the street, attempting to put as much space between Bunny and his family as possible, "And she's wrong, you know that, right? You're a great mom."

Erin sighed and closed her eyes. "You are the _best_ mommy," Kate said softly, offering a small smile, "Even though you're the only mommy I ever had, I know you're the best."

"You're absolutely right, Squirt," Jay grinned at his daughter in the rearview mirror, "See babe? Don't listen to Bunny."

"I know, I know," Erin brought a hand to her forehead, "Just every time I see her I'm reminded of what she's done and it throws me off."

"I get that," Jay said understandingly, "I know she's put you through hell and I'm sorry we ran into her."

"Who knew she'd show up at the same diner," Erin scoffed, "I just don't want to see her again." She exhaled and turned around to face her little girl, "But the good news is, we're not going to, and _we_ are going to have a fun time in the park."

Kate smiled brightly, relieved to see her mother's demeanor change, "We still going?"

"Of course!" Erin tapped the tiny boot that was on Kate's foot, "But we're going to have to bundle up really good, okay?"

* * *

"He's almost as tall as Daddy!" Kate was in awe at the size of the snowman that they had created: at almost six feet tall, Mr. Snowman was the largest in the park by far. Erin brought an old scarf and a carrot as well, so he was also the most handsome.

"You did a great job rolling his head," Erin smiled at Kate's rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes, "And I think the pebbles for eyes was a great idea."

"I like the carrot best!" Kate pointed up at the vegetables sticking out of the large ball of snow, "Do you think an am-inal not in hiber-nation could eat if they were hungry?"

"I'm not sure if there are any animals willing to brave the snow," Jay said, "But I'm sure if they wanted to get to it they could."

"You are so thoughtful," Erin brushed some snow off Kate's beanie, "You're always thinking about others."

"It's 'portant to think 'bout the am-inals, 'cause sometimes they can't help themselves," Kate explained, "That's how come Grandpa Hank puts food out for the birdies. 'Cause in the winter they get especially hungry."

"I forgot Hank still does that," Erin looked to Jay, who was wearing an incredulous expression that read _Sergeant Hank Voight leaves seeds out for birds?_ , "Camille used to put peanuts out for the squirrels too. She used to get Justin and I to cover pinecones in peanut butter and seeds and leave them in the backyard for all the birds and squirrels."

"Did they eat it?" Kate asked, "The pine-cones?"

"I think so," Erin tried to remember, "I think the squirrels took all them, which is why Hank got a bird feeder for Camille for Christmas. One that the squirrels couldn't break into and steal all the birdseed."

"Voight is basically Snow White," Jay joked. Erin rolled her eyes and continued to pat the snow into a shape that somewhat resembled a dog.

"I'm sure he'd love to hear you say that," Erin retorted, "What do you think about this ribbon for a collar, baby?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out piece of ribbon that was left over from Christmas wrapping.

"Perfect!" Kate wound the ribbon around the lump of snow, "Now Mr. Snowman has a dog!" Her tiny teeth chattered as she grinned up at Jay, who was smoothing out the snowman's head.

"You're shivering, Squirt." Jay crouched down, "I could go for a hot chocolate to warm up, how about you?"

She nodded and slipped her mittened hand into Jay's and the other into Erin's. The detectives exchanged grins, absolutely in love with the tiny human between them.

* * *

Kate practically fell asleep into her hot chocolate, so Jay carried her home through the windy streets of their neighborhood. It was no surprise that the little girl was exhausted after running around in the park, amused by the concept of snowmen and actually building one for the first time. Every time Jay and Erin took Kate on what to most would be an ordinary childhood activity, they were reminded how much their little girl had been deprived of during the first few years of her life. "She's absolutely passed out," Erin commented as they exited the elevator, Kate still asleep on Jay's shoulder.

"A few hours in the park will do that to ya," Jay said, brushing his boots on the mat while Erin unlocked the door, "When Will and I used to build snow forts, I'm pretty sure we'd be fast asleep by like seven. Made my mom's snow day a whole lot easier," he chuckled at the memory, "She used to make us this really good mint hot chocolate after we came inside. And she let us watch TV even if it was a school night, just because she knew we'd fall asleep."

Erin smiled wistfully at Jay's fond memories. Unlike her partner, growing up with the Chicago snow and with Bunny as a mother usually meant freezing cold feet from leaky boots and cracked knuckles from the harsh wind. Her first time building a snow fort had been with Justin in the Voight's backyard after a particularly brutal storm that dumped nearly two feet of powdery fluff onto the city. Hank had literally dug his way to the district, but school was cancelled, so Camille watched from the window while she and Justin pelted each other with snowballs. "Maybe just put her on the couch?" Erin suggested, "I don't want her to wake up and not be able to see us."

Jay nodded in agreement and carefully set Kate down on the sofa, gently removing her wet boots and heavy coat in the hopes that he wouldn't wake her. "Coffee?" He asked knowingly, after successfully shedding Kate's winter wear. Erin nodded as she unwound the scarf from her neck and placed her coat on the hook behind the door. He set about brewing a pot while Erin quietly rummaged around in the kitchen.

"God, we have no food," she muttered, closing the fridge and leaning against it, "We need groceries."

"I can take a trip down the street," Jay offered, waiting for the machine to work its magic, "Pick up some fruit and maybe some pasta and ground beef for spaghetti Bolognese?" He tried to catch Erin's troubled gaze, "Okay, not pasta. What about a stir-fry?"

"No, no, pasta's good," Erin forced a smile and patted his chest, "Kate loves to help make the Bolognese sauce."

"What's up, babe?" Jay asked concernedly, placing one hand gently on her arm, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Erin said quickly, maneuvering around her boyfriend and the breakfast bar to settle onto the couch beside her little girl, "I'm good."

"You sure?" Jay raised his eyebrows, "Speaking from experience, I'd say there's something going on upstairs." He sighed and sat beside Erin while she methodically ran her fingers through Kate's hair that was slightly damp from the snow.

"It's just…Bunny," Erin said after a moment. She leaned back against the cushions, "I hate seeing her, I hate how she freaks Kate out, I hate that she _knew_ about Kate and I just hate that she's my mother." She turned to her partner, "Every time I feel like I've locked the door behind me, she finds some way to weasel in through a side window or something. I can't get away from her. She reminds me of all the shit that she put me through, the stuff I put _myself_ through, and I just don't want any of that near Kate, or near you."

"She does have a way of coming back, like a virus or bacteria-"

"Or cancer," Erin interjected, "Hank always called Bunny 'the cancer in my life' and said that I needed to cut her out completely. And I've _tried_ , Jay. I tried to phase her out, I tried completely shutting her out, but nothing works. She's relentless. There's always a new boyfriend or a new bar or she needs money and I've never been able to fully turn my back on her because she's my _mom_ you know, and I…" Erin trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut. "And she basically told me I was fat."

Jay scoffed, "Well that is certainly not true. I think you look beautiful, babe, and I'm not just saying that to get into your pants. Bunny was probably on drugs or god knows what, and she doesn't know anything about you, nor does she have the right to." He wrapped an arm around Erin's shoulders, "She doesn't deserve to have you in her life."

"I know," Erin glanced down at Kate, "I normally don't let her stupid comments like that bother me. But, I, um, thought I was pregnant a few weeks back," she murmured, tracing circles on Jay's chest with her forefinger. He turned to her in surprise but she kept her gaze focused downward. "After my concussion, when I was still getting sick and was just feeling crappy. Turns out it was just side effects from getting knocked out cold," she scoffed, "But I was _excited._ For the first time I can remember, I was excited about the prospect of having a baby. Having a baby with you." Tears welled in her eyes, "But I can't. And today, seeing Bunny, hearing her say that stuff, made me think that maybe there's a _reason_ why I can't have kids. Like I'm cursed to be just another deadbeat mom waiting to happen."

" _Erin,_ " Jay said seriously, touching his fingertips to her chin so that she would meet his gaze, "Your mother has absolutely no idea what she's talking about. You are an incredible mother and you are _nothing_ like her," He wiped off a few stray tears from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb, "And you not being able to bear children has nothing to do with being cursed or anything. It just happens like that, and it doesn't make me love you any less, and it certainly doesn't make Kate love you less, either." Jay tenderly kissed the crown of her head, "All I care about is that you are healthy and safe and happy. And if you need a baby to be happy, we can do that. And if you don't, we can do that to. I am here for you, babe, and I'm here for whatever you want. But please don't think you are anything like Bunny, because that could not be further from the truth."

Erin let out a sniffle and leaned into her partner's shoulder, "How-how do you always know just what to say to make me feel better?"

Jay smiled and chuckled softly, running a hand over his girlfriend's smooth hair, "I think it's something I picked up from my mom. Definitely didn't come from my dad. _Certainly_ didn't come from Will."

"You don't give him enough credit," Erin pulled back and looked at Jay, tears stuck to her lashes, "He's come a long way from the guy who he once was. Jay, he was ready to move in here if it meant I could keep Kate with me. I think he'd move heaven and earth for her."

"I know," Jay acknowledged, "I know. Guess I just got used to him letting me down but he really has been great. And Kate loves him so much it's incredible."

"You don't need to be jealous, babe," Erin touched his cheek, "She may love Will, but he doesn't hold a candle to how much that little girl loves you." She paused, "When I wasn't sure if you were coming home, I was worried about you of course, worried about me, but I was most worried about how I was going to tell Kate." Tears filled Erin's eyes again, "Because she loves you more than anything. And if I had to tell her…" Erin trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, "I'm just so glad you're back."

Jay smiled and kissed her forehead, "Me too, babe. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. And I'm so sorry for putting you through that."

Erin shrugged and snuggled in closer to his shoulder, "I've give you my fair share of shit to deal with. You've met my mother, for crying out loud."

"And your dad is my boss," Jay said dryly, "There's not enough sex in the world that's going to make up for Hank breathing down my neck and threat to have me killed or shipped off to 26th and Cal."

"He said what?" Erin pulled way in surprise, "Hank threatened you?"

Jay raised his eyebrows, "Yeah, like all the time. In passing. Mostly before Kate. And not like a formal 'sit me down with the shotgun' type thing, but like once I called you babe in the office and he was like 'I'll kill you if you try anything'. Or one time he saw us kiss right before getting out of the car. And he pulled me aside and said 'Do that again and you're off to the worst job in the city'."

"I thought he was okay with us dating. _You_ said, and I quote 'Voight doesn't have a problem with it'," Erin narrowed her eyes, "I can't believe he said that."

"It was before we got Kate," Jay emphasized, "I think he's over it."

"He better be," Erin muttered, readjusting herself next to Jay, "Besides, it's our business. Ours, and Kate's."

"Speaking of our business…" Jay glanced down at the sleeping little girl, "She's really out," He wiggled his eyebrows, "Wanna hop in the shower?"

* * *

"We needed that," Erin murmured after she had finished toweling off her hair. Kate was still asleep on the living room sofa, completely oblivious to the activities of her parents.

"Been a while since we…connected," Jay joked, referencing the therapist's comment about how he and Erin needed to reconnect after his episode. Erin swatted him with the towel.

"Mind out of the gutter, Halstead. We've got a little girl to wake up and she's smart, so you better watch it." Erin eyes twinkled as Jay came closer, towel loosely draped around his hips, bare chest glistening with remaining water droplets. "I said, watch it," Erin breathed, pressing her fingertips against his chest.

Jay leaned in and kissed her deeply, causing Erin to drop the towel in her hands. "Mm," he mumbled against her lips, reaching down to wrap his arms beneath her knees and carry his girl off for another round, "Mm."

"Daddy?" A sleepy voice called out, "Mommy?" The voice came more panicked.

"We gotta go," Erin pulled back and adjusted her tank top, "Kate, baby, we're in the bedroom." She hurried into the living room to see her daughter sitting up on the couch, eyes still cloudy with sleep. Despite having just woken up, the little girl was rigid with fear, but instantly relaxed when she saw Erin. "Hi sweetheart, did you have a nice nap?"

"Uh, huh." Kate smiled sleepily, leaning into her mother's touch as she brushed some loose strands of hair off her face, "I falled asleep before we got home."

"You certainly did. Building Mr. Snowman made you tired, huh?"

"But I'm not tired no more," Kate rubbed her eyes and smiled, "Cause I napped."

"Good thing, because I think Daddy was going to head to the grocery store to get some ingredient for dinner tonight, and _I think_ he's going to need some help cooking," Erin smiled, expecting to see her daughter's face light up. Instead, Kate's eyes widened and filled with tears. "What is it, baby? Do you not want to cook with Daddy? You don't have to," Erin looked over to her bedroom door, where Jay was emerging, "What's wrong?"

Kate shook her head, tears now spilling over her cheeks, still slightly flushed from sleep, "I-I don't want Daddy to leave."

"He's not leaving, babes," Erin assured her, "Daddy's right here. He's not going anywhere."

"You-you said he was gonna leave," Kate stuttered, shaking her head again, "I don't want him to go to the grow-sry store."

"He can stay here," Erin glanced up at Jay who had slowly approached the couch, "I can go out and get some spaghetti and ingredients for pasta."

"No!" Kate all but shrieked, scrambling backward on the couch, "You can't, you can't go."

Jay and Erin exchanged glances, Jay now squatting on the floor in front of his girls, "You don't want either of us to leave, do you, kiddo?" He asked softly, "Because you're afraid we won't come back?"

Kate nodded sadly, stifling a sob. She hiccupped, "I-I don't wanna not have a mommy or daddy." She regarded her parents with watery eyes, "I don't want you to be hurt."

"You don't need to worry, sweetheart," Erin wiped the tears off Kate's cheeks, "Paul Jackson is behind bars. He's not going to hurt you, or me, or Daddy."

Kate shook her head, "No, I'm not worried 'bout him. I don't want Daddy to go 'cause then he might not come back and I don't want you to go e-der!" With that, Kate burst into a fresh set of sobs.

"Kate, I promise you, I'm not going anywhere," Jay reached up to place a comforting hand on his little girl's knee, "I know me leaving was really scary for you, but I promise that it's not going to happen again. I'm here to stay." He looked over at Erin, who was grimacing slightly at Kate's admission. She understood exactly where the little girl was coming from, not wanting to let Jay out of her sight.

"I know it's been a rough couple of days, but Daddy's okay now. He's always going to come back. And so am I. As much as we want to be, we can't be together all the time, and we have to trust each other that we'll come back," Erin placed a hand on Jay's shoulder, "And Daddy and I will always come back for you, no matter what."

Kate nodded after a moment and promptly threw herself into Jay's arms, nearly knocking him off balance. He wrapped his arms tightly around her small body and held her close to his chest. "You promise?" she whispered, "You gonna come back?"

"Always, Squirt," Jay breathed, "Always."

* * *

 **Will the happy family time last forever? Time will tell...**


	41. Chapter 41

**Thanks to all who have been reviewing, they totally make my day-and I am taking some requests as I never thought this story would be this long (tbt to when I said it would only be 30 chapters haaaaa) so if there is anything you'd like to see, feel free to leave it in a review or the private message thingy or by carrier pigeon. I can't promise that I'll actually be able to do it justice but I can def work with whatever ya give me if it fits into the larger story :)**

* * *

Finally, after weeks of non-stop drama, Jay, Erin and Kate had fallen back into a routine. Kate returned to preschool after many discussions with her parents, who promised that they would most certainly still be at the district waiting for her after Platt brought her over. Erin's concussion had dissipated, though Jay noticed that she would still get tired easily after a long day. Valentine's Day was rapidly approaching, and after the excitement of the past few weeks, both Jay and Erin wanted nothing more than to have a quiet night at home with their little girl.

Unfortunately, the Chicago Police Department had other ideas for how Erin and Jay were going to spent their Valentine's day. At last minute, one of the higher-ups in the Ivory Tower decided that both Halstead and Lindsay would attend an annual Police Convention in New York City, along with about twenty other detectives and sergeants from specialized units across Chicago. " _Hank_ ," Erin all but whined, "Do we have to go?"

"Fischer asked for both of you by name," Hank shrugged, "I explained that you're raising a child together, and he said to decide amongst yourselves which one of you wants to go, but at least one of you needs to be there to represent this unit."

"It's not that easy!" Jay exploded, "We just got Kate to go back to school. The poor thing is going to have a breakdown if she finds out one of us is going to be in New York for two days. In her mind, it's practically the moon."

"She's absolutely terrified of one of us leaving and not coming back," Erin leaned against the door frame to Hank's office in exasperation, "I really don't want to have a repeat of the other week, where she didn't eat or sleep for two days. Will said she was close to hurting her stomach."

"We can't bring her with us, can we?" Jay asked Erin hopefully.

She turned to him, incredulous. "Jay, it's a conference. We'll be in panels and meetings and shit for twelve hours a day. We can't leave her in a hotel room for hours on end. Not to mention the fact that the last time she was in New York it was because she was _kidnapped_. I mean, the place itself probably freaks her out. And I have a feeling she'd be terrified to fly."

"So we don't bring her. And one of us goes to New York," Jay sighed, "The question is, which one of us?"

"Let her pick," Hank said dryly, gesturing to the stairwell where a tiny human was emerging.

"Hey, Squirt," Jay poked his head out of Hank's office, "How was your day?"

"Daddy!" Kate rushed toward her father and squealed when he boosted her into his arms, "I glad you're still here."

Jay smiled softly. Kate's current phrase was 'I'm glad you're still here'. She said it to Erin and Jay every time she returned to them, as if anticipating the worst. "I told you, I'll always be here," Jay kissed her cheek, "Mommy's talking to Grandpa Hank."

"Hi Mommy!" Kate greeted, still on Jay's hip. He passed the little girl over to her mother, where she melted into her embrace, "I missed you."

"I miss you more, baby." Erin buried her face in Kate's soft hair, "Did you learn a lot today?"

"Uh-huh." Kate leaned against Erin's chest as her mother held her close, "Hi Grandpa Hank."

"Hey, kiddo." Hank smiled warmly. He glanced to Jay, "You three catch up. We can get to the discussion a little later."

"Thanks," Erin said gratefully, carrying Kate toward the breakroom, Jay in tow, "So what did you learn about today?"

"Things that go," Kate said seriously, "We learned 'bout trains, cars, planes and buses."

"Wow," Jay mused, pouring coffee into a cup for Erin and pulling a juice box out of the fridge for his little girl, "And what mode of transportation did you like to learn about most?"

"The car," Kate said quickly, "Cause it's the only one I 'membered takin'." She accepted the juice box, "Thank you, Daddy."

"You're very welcome," Jay sat down across from his girls. Erin raised her eyebrows at Jay to indicate that he was to be the one to inform their daughter that one of her parents was going away for a few days. He shook his head slightly, trying to convey that it was not the right time. Erin sighed heavily and ran her fingers through Kate's soft hair.

"Kate, baby, I think Grandpa Hank is going to need Daddy and I for an hour or two, but Sergeant Platt said she could probably come upstairs and do some playing with you-"

"What's happening?" Kate asked quickly, tensing up in Erin's lap. She looked from Jay and up to Erin, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, kiddo," Jay forced a smile, "We just have to go to work in a bit, that's all."

Kate regarded him suspiciously, "I _know_ when you and Mommy are worried." She gasped and looked up at Erin nervously, "Did-did Mr. P get out of jail? Is he coming to _get_ me?"

"Oh, no," Erin quickly refuted, "He's in jail, and he's going to trial in two weeks. And he's under close supervision, so he's not getting out."

"How come Daddy looks so worried?" Kate seemed to relax slightly but still appeared troubled.

Erin and Jay exchanged glances. "Well, kiddo, Commander Fischer needs Mommy and I to go to New York for a few days. For a conference," Jay said slowly, "But one of us is going to stay here with you, so you don't need to worry okay?"

Kate shook her head adamantly, "No, no."

"One of us needs to be there, baby. I know it's hard but-" Erin tried.

"No!" The little girl shook her head again, "You-you can't be alone. You both gotta go," She looked across the table at Jay urgently, "You're _partners._ "

Erin widened her eyes at her boyfriend. She had not been expecting _that_ reaction from her daughter. She anticipated that Kate would be upset, but not that she would urge both of her parents to go. "That's very sweet of you, but one of us has to stay in Chicago with you," Erin explained, "We can't leave you alone. And unfortunately we can't bring you to New York with us because we'll be in meetings all day and there's nobody there to be with you."

"But…I-I don't want you to be alone." Kate's lower lip quivered slightly, "You-you need Mommy," She looked to Jay, "And Mommy needs you, o-der wise she don't sleep."

Jay felt his heart melt at his little girl's intuition and thoughtfulness. "Oh, Squirt, you are such an amazing kid. But one of us has to go, and the other has to stay. And it's only for a few days."

"Plus, we can't leave you home alone," Erin emphasized, "I know you're a good cook, but you can't drive and kids aren't allowed to stay by themselves until they're much older."

Kate titled her head slightly, "But before I met you I used to be alone all the time."

Every time Kate made a statement like that, Erin felt her heart break a little more. Growing up, she was left to her own devices for much of the time and always promised herself that if she were ever to have kids, they would never feel as alone as she did. Jay stroked her tiny fingers, "I know, sweetheart, but you're with us now. And we won't ever leave you alone or with someone we don't trust, okay? That's why one of us is going to stay."

"She can stay with me." A raspy voice carried from the doorway. Hank was leaning against the frame, arms folded across his chest. Erin hadn't seen him approach and Jay turned around in his chair to face his sergeant. "Kate can stay with me while the two of you go to New York."

Jay and Erin exchanged glances again, recognizing that having Kate stay with Hank was probably the best-case scenario. "What do you think, kiddo? Would you want to come stay with me for a few days while your folks are in New York?"

Kate nodded and broke into a smile, "Then Mommy and Daddy can be together! And I get to play with Grandpa Hank!"

Erin sighed in relief, smiling gratefully at her boss. "Thanks Hank."

* * *

"Okay, Squirt, so Mommy and I will be back in three days. Are you sure it's okay with you if both of us go to New York?" Jay squatted down in front of his little girl as they stood in Hank's entryway. Erin had left Hank an extensive list about Kate's likes, dislikes, bedtime, preschool schedule and her favorite games. She was still discussing logistics surrounding Kate's medicine. Though it had been nine weeks since her surgery and Kate was supposed to have been off the stomach healing medication, the little girl's high levels of anxiety led Dr. Manning to prescribe an extra two weeks. Luckily, Kate was no longer taking the painkillers that made her exhausted, but the medicine still needed to be taken with food.

"You gonna come back on Sunday, right?" Kate asked, clutching Tiger nervously. "You and Mommy _both_ comin' back?" Although Jay and Erin picked Kate up from preschool so they could spend time with her before leaving for New York that evening, the three of them were still apprehensive about the three nights they were spending separately. Kate was told repeatedly that her parents would be returning, but she continued to make sure.

"Absolutely," Jay promised, holding his baby close to his chest, "We'll be home before you know it. And Grandpa Hank is going to take you to school tomorrow morning, and then you'll spend the night here, and then you'll have all day Saturday and Mommy and I will be back Sunday morning."

"For breakfast?" Kate confirmed, "And I come home with you and Mommy?"

"That's right," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, "You don't need to worry, Mommy and I are coming back. I promise."

"Okay," Kate breathed, "You gonna see 'tenant Benson?"

"Maybe," Jay smiled, "It's a busy few days, but we may meet up with her for a bit. And we're mostly going to be in meetings and listening to boring lectures, so I think you get the better end of the deal, getting to stay and play with Grandpa Hank."

Kate nodded and smiled despite her anxiety, "He said maybe we can go to the zoo if it's not too cold for the am-inals."

"That sounds like fun," Erin piped up, placing a hand on Jay's back. "My turn for hugs and kisses."

"I love you, Squirt." Jay kissed Kate's forehead, "We'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"I love you Daddy," Kate whispered back, returning the tight hug, "I know you coming back."

"Don't you worry, we're coming back as fast as we can," Erin reached out and pulled her little girl into her embrace, "And if you need us at all, our phones are always on, okay? Hank can call us at any time."

"I'm glad you guys are gonna be together," the little girl pulled back and looked into her mother's eyes seriously, "You gonna make sure that nothing bad is gonna happen?"

"That's the plan," Erin stroked Kate's cheek, "And we're going to miss you so much, but I know you'll be safe here with Hank, and you're going to have a great time." Kate wrapped her arms around Erin's neck and held fast. "And when we get back, we're going to celebrate Valentine's Day as a family, how does that sound?"

"I gonna miss you," Kate whispered into Erin's neck, her small voice breaking the hearts of the three adults in the foyer.

"We are going to miss you even more," Erin swallowed thickly, trying to avoid crying. It was only going to be three nights, but it felt like an eternity. She stood with the little girl in her arms, "I love you, baby."

"You two better head out, you don't want to miss your flight," Hank spoke up, "We're going to be just fine. I'll call you if we need you, sound good?"

Erin nodded and buried her face in Kate's hair, "Bye, sweetheart. Have a good time with Grandpa Hank."

"Bye Mommy, I love you," Kate reached her arms out so that Erin could pass her to her grandfather. She looked sadly at her parents as Jay picked up the suitcases.

"We love you so much, Squirt." Jay smiled at his little girl and placed a hand on Erin's back, "Alright, babe, we don't want to hit traffic."

"Thanks again, Hank." Erin said, pulling open the front door and looking over her shoulder at her daughter, "We'll see you soon, baby."

Kate waved as her parents exited the house and headed for Jay's car. She looked up at her grandfather nervously. "You were very brave, kiddo. I know it's hard, but they'll be back in no time." Hank offered a smile.

She nodded, "I didn't wanna cry. Cause I didn't wanna make Mommy and Daddy sad."

"You are the sweetest kid I ever met. And the bravest," Hank kissed Kate's forehead, "How about we make some dinner, hm? Maybe we could grill up some steaks and you can help make the special sauce? And we could make mashed potatoes too."

"Okay," Kate said, the stuffed tiger still in her fist, "Can we read stories before bed, too?"

"You got it," Hank confirmed, turning for the kitchen, "Let's fire up the grill."

* * *

"Do you think everything's okay?" Erin turned to Jay in the middle of their second panel of the day. After departing O'Hare, the couple arrived in New York City late in the evening and promptly went right to bed in anticipation of the long few days ahead of them. Neither Erin nor Jay slept particularly well in the hotel bed, having become so accustomed to snuggling with the third tiny body between them. "Hank hasn't called yet."

"I think no news is good news, babe," Jay whispered back, "If there is a reason to call, I'm sure he will."

Meanwhile, Kate sat quietly in the backseat of the Escalade, strapped into a car seat that Hank now kept in the trunk for when he transported the little girl. She only had one nightmare the night before, but relaxed quickly when Hank hustled into Erin's old bedroom and coaxed her back to sleep. The older sergeant had slept fitfully, nervous that he wouldn't wake up for the little girl when she needed him. "Ready for school today, kiddo?" Hank asked, glancing in the rearview mirror at his granddaughter, "What do you think you're going to learn about today?"

"Valen-times Day," Kate replied, "We decorating valen-times for craft time I think."

"That sounds like fun," Hank smiled, "So I'm going to pick you up today instead of Sergeant Platt, and you and I are going to go do something special."

"Really?" Kate widened her eyes, "You don't gotta work?"

"Well, I'm the boss." Hank winked at the little girl, "So I make the rules. And I think that a special outing is well deserved, what do you think?"

Kate nodded eagerly, glancing out of the window to the preschool parking lot, "Mommy told Miss Carlson that you droppin' me off today?"

"Yep," Hank opened Kate's door and helped her unbuckle, "Your folks thought of everything. And I think they would love a valentine, if you make them today in craft time."

"I gotta make a lot!" Kate exclaimed, slipping her hand into Hank's as they headed for the entrance to the school, "One for Mommy and Daddy, and Sergeant Platt and you too!"

* * *

"Grandpa Hank!" Kate called out, standing up from her seat at the small table. Parents and caregivers were lining up at the door to pick up the children from preschool. Hank stood awkwardly amongst the young mothers, his hands in his heavy coat pockets. He broke into a smile when he saw the little girl waving at him.

"Hey, kiddo," he greeted as Kate hurried over to her grandfather and hugged his legs tightly. He scooped her up and placed her on his hip so she could hug him properly, "How was your day?"

"Good," Kate leaned back, "I made lots of Valen-times. Can we go to the district?"

"You want to go to the district?" Hank looked surprised, "How come?"

"I gotta give my valen-times away," Kate informed him, "I made so many."

"Did you now?" Hank smiled, "Alrighty, let's do it."

"They on my desk," Kate pointed to her seat at the table, which boasted a stack of valentine's day cards. Each tiny seat had their own stack of cards, but Kate's was slightly bigger, "I made more than anyone 'cause I got a lot of people to give them to."

Kate had made cards for everyone in Intelligence, as well as Platt and Garcia and a few other patrolmen and women that she was fond of. "Who are those for?" Hank asked, gesturing to the remaining cards in Kate's grasp, "You've given out so many already."

"This is for you!" Kate thrust a card at Hank, "These ones for Mommy and Daddy. And I got one for Uncle Will and Dr. Manning but I don't think we can go see Uncle Will when he's working unless we sick."

"I think you're right," Hank opened the card from his granddaughter, "I bet you'll see him soon though, so you can give him the card. And this is beautiful!" He smiled down at the little girl, who blushed in response. Kate had delicately drawn herself and her grandfather playing with legos on the inside of the card. She also wrote, 'Happy Valentine's Day, Love Kate' in purple crayon. "I think I'll put this on my desk."

"What are we gonna do now?" Kate asked while Hank place the card atop his desk, "I think it's too cold for the am-inals at the zoo."

"Hm," Hank put his hand to his chin, pretending to ponder, "Well, I was thinking that we could go to the Field natural history museum downtown. I think they have some cool exhibits that you would like."

"Really?" Kate's eyes widened, "What do they got there?"

"There's a whole section about dinosaurs," Hank informed her, taking her hand and leading her down the steps, "And they have the bones from a real T-Rex."

* * *

"How did you sleep, kiddo?" Hank asked as the little girl quietly padded through the kitchen. After spending the afternoon at the Field Museum, Hank and Kate went out for hamburgers and ice cream sundaes. She had been exhausted and fell asleep before her normal bedtime, and luckily didn't wake up once throughout the night.

"I didn't have a nightmare," Kate said, shivering slightly despite her fuzzy pair of pajamas. She smiled sadly up at her grandfather, "But I miss Mommy and Daddy."

"I know you do," Hank helped her onto his lap and kissed the top of her head, "They'll be home tomorrow morning."

"You sure they gonna come back?" Kate asked nervously.

"Absolutely," Hank replied, "Erin sent me a text last night saying that she and your dad were super busy in lots of meetings and lectures, but that they love you and can't wait to see you." Hank smiled, "And I'm sure that they're going to want to hear all about what we learned yesterday at the museum."

"The dino-saurs were really big," the little girl said seriously, having been distracted from her thoughts about missing her parents, "Way bigger than any am-inal I ever saw."

"I agree. It snowed a bit last night, so I was thinking we could go get some breakfast and head out on a little adventure. Does that sound like fun?" Hank wiggled his eyebrows.

"An ad-ven-ture?" Kate widened her eyes, "We goin' to the 'quarium?"

"Actually, we're going somewhere you've never been. And it's a surprise," Hank informed her, "But I think you'll like it. And if not, we can do something else."

"Okay!" Kate nodded vigorously, "We havin' cereal?"

"I think we can head out for some French toast with fruit, hm?" Erin had noted in her list that Kate was recently quite taken with French toast topped with fruit as a special breakfast treat, and he figured that it would help distract the little girl from missing her parents.

"Yeah!" She smiled widely, "I can pick out my clothes!"

* * *

"Hank didn't pick up," Erin informed Jay as they stepped onto the elevator, heading to another floor of the conference center for yet another panel, "Went to voicemail."

"I'm sure things are fine," Jay replied, "He texted last night, right?"

"Yeah, only to say that he took her to the Field museum and that she fell asleep at seven," Erin tapped her foot impatiently as the elevator moved upwards, "I guess she's fine but it's not like Hank to not pick up."

"We can try him again after the next panel," Jay decided as the elevator dinged, "How long is this one again?"

"90 minutes," Erin grumbled, "Better than the three hour one yesterday, but still a long time."

* * *

"Okay kiddo, are you ready?" Hank took Kate out to a small hill outside the city for some sledding. He dug one of Justin's old sleds from the attic and after doing some quick research to make sure it was still safe, loaded it in the back of the Escalade.

"I think," Kate turned around to look up at her grandfather, "It's safe?"

"Oh yeah," Hank reassured her, "Perfectly safe. We're just going to go down this hill and if you like it, we can do it again."

"'kay," Kate held fast to the handles, "Ready."

"Here we go!" Hank placed his feet into the sled, allowing the piece of plastic to pick up speed.

"Ah!" Kate squealed as the wind whipped past. When they slowed to a stop, she turned back around, "That was _so_ fun!"

"Want to go again?" Hank asked, his eyes sparkling. He had forgotten how much fun sledding could be.

"Uh-huh!" Kate jumped up and grinned, "Let's do it!"

After over a dozen trips up and down the hill, Kate was exhausted. She shuffled after Hank to the car while he carried the sled, and promptly fell asleep in her seat the minute he pulled onto the highway.

While she dozed on the couch, Hank replied to Erin's text message and explained they had been sledding and that he hadn't heard or felt his phone through his coat pocket. Erin immediately called back, "How is she?" were her first words.

"She's fine," Hank replied, "Taking a nap right now, but we had no nightmares last night."

"Really?" Erin sounded incredulous, "Wow. That's amazing. Jay and I are about to head into our fifth meeting of the day and we're seeing Lieutenant Benson tonight, but we're getting into Chicago around 10am tomorrow morning."

"Sounds good," Hank said, "We'll see you soon. Enjoy."

"We'll try," Erin muttered, hanging up the phone and turning to Jay, "Hank tired her out by taking her sledding."

"Nice," Jay nodded in appreciation, "At least someone is having fun. This _blows_."

Hank headed for the living room to wake up his granddaughter, not wanting her to sleep for too long. He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed that there was a large red stain atop the quilt Kate was lying on and blood covering her face.

"Kate, kiddo," Hank quickly sprang into action and roused the sleeping little girl, "Wake up, please. You're bleeding, sweetheart."

The little girl lazily opened her eyes and reached a hand to her face, realizing that there was a sticky substance all over her cheeks, "Uh-oh." She looked up at her grandfather with watery eyes, unsure of what to do.

"It's okay," Hank reassured her, "Sit tight. I'm calling your Uncle Will." He quickly dialed the number Erin had ensured that he saved in his phone, silently praying that the young surgeon would answer.

Luckily, Will picked up and said he would be there shortly, having just gotten off shift. In the meantime, Hank grabbed a roll of paper towels from the kitchen counter and crouched in front of the little girl. "What's happenin'?" Kate asked, blood now dribbling down her chin, "H-how come I bleedin'?"

"I'm not sure, kiddo," Hank held the paper towel to the little girl's nose and noticed that her teeth were red with blood, "Uncle Will's going to be here in no time, okay? Just hang on."


	42. Chapter 42

**Let me know if you're still reading/enjoying this story - work is super busy right now and I'm trying to be as timely as possible but it would be helpful to gauge interest in Erin &Jay given the fact that I am not really watching the show/ following anything that's happening. **

* * *

Will peeled into the parking spot in front of Hank's house and sprinted to the front door, banging forcefully. Hank had called and sounded close to freaking out, saying that Kate was bleeding badly and that he needed his help. He rapped on the door and seconds later a frantic sergeant whipped it open, wordlessly gesturing to the living room where his granddaughter sat. Hank was holding a wad of bloody paper towels in his hands that Will could have sworn were shaking. "What happening?" he asked, quickly crossing into the living room and sinking down in front of the frightening little girl.

"She was sleeping and I came to woke her up and there was blood everywhere," Hank managed, standing awkwardly beside the sofa. Kate was holding a paper towel to her face, but it was crimson with blood.

"Can I take a look, Monkey?" Will asked, tentatively removing Kate's hand from her face. The little girl wasn't crying but appeared confused as she regarded her uncle.

"It's my nose," Kate explained, her tiny nose continuing to gush with blood.

"And in her mouth," Hank said, now kneeling beside Will as he tilted Kate's chin up, "There was blood coming out of her mouth."

"Well, the nose and mouth are connected," Will explained, "I think she's just got a nasty nose bleed. Have you been outside today?"

"We went sleddin'," Kate told him, "But I didn't get hurt."

"Sometimes in the wind and air can dry out your nose, and can make it bleed," Will pressed another cloth to Kate's face, "I know it looks horrible, but she's totally fine."

Hank exhaled and sat back on his heels, "So I called you over here for nothing?"

"It's all good," Will smiled and brushed some of Kate's hair off her face, "I'm glad you did call me, because I haven't seen this one in a few days."

Kate smiled despite the towel still pressed to her nose, "How come my mouth's all bloody?" she asked, sticking her tongue out in disgust, "It don't taste good."

"Your mouth and nose are all connected," Will informed her, "That's why it looked like you were spitting up blood, but it's really just blood from your nose, not like the last time."

"You scared me, kiddo," Hank said honestly, rubbing his chin with his calloused hand, "I'm glad everything's okay."

"I think the bleeding has stopped," Will said, removing the paper towel from Kate's face. While her nose had stopped streaming blood, her mouth and cheeks were tinged pink. "Do you have a cloth for her?"

"Mm," Hank rose and returned with a damp washcloth, "Can I wipe your face, kiddo?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, allowing Hank to gently wipe her mouth and cheeks with the warm cloth, "Uncle Will, you gonna stay and make pizza with me and Grandpa Hank?"

Will raised his eyebrows in surprise and glanced over at Hank, "Uh…"

"You should stay for dinner, you came all the way out here," Hank ceased wiping Kate's face, "And we have more than enough pizza dough."

"Yes, stay, Uncle Will!" Kate exclaimed, the brief drama from the last few minutes now completely forgotten, "We got pep-ronis and I know you like those!"

"It's true. I do love pepperoni," Will smiled, "Alrighty, pizza sounds delicious."

* * *

"Thank _God_ that's over," Erin exhaled, flopping down on the hotel bed, "I'm beat."

Jay perched himself on the side of the mattress and ran a hand through Erin's hair, "I noticed that you kept closing your eyes. Does your head hurt?"

"I was just _bored,_ " Erin explained, "I thought I was going to fall asleep listening to that old sergeant from Denver talking about budgets. Who schedules a conference from Friday to Saturday? On Valentine's Day, no less." She turned her head so she could look at her partner, "I just want to go home."

"Me too," Jay replied, continuing to thread his fingers through his girlfriend's hair, "I miss Kate."

Erin propped herself up on her elbows, "Do you think we could catch a flight out tonight? I don't think Liv would care, she's got Noah at home, she gets it." She raised her eyebrows hopefully, "I know we were supposed to have a nice night together, but I miss our little girl."

"Let's get out of here," Jay said, pushing himself off the bed, "I'll call a cab."

Kate squealed in delight as Will not-so-expertly tossed the pizza dough in the air and caught it in his hands, flour flying all over the kitchen counter. "Careful, Halstead," Hank said gruffly, wiping the white powder from his forehead, "My kitchen looks like a drug bust we did last week."

"Sorry, sir," Will quickly replied, setting the dough on the tray, "Okay, Monkey, what kind of sauce for this one?"

"Pesto!" Kate gestured to the carton of green sauce on the counter, "And we put tomatoes on top?"

"Excellent idea," Will handed her a spoon and the carton, "Spread it nice and evenly. Awesome job."

"Daddy taught me how to spread," Kate informed him. She looked up at Hank, "When they coming home?"

"Tomorrow morning," Hank reminded her as he wiped down the counter. He glanced up toward the window and noticed that there was fresh snow falling from the sky, "Hopefully their plane won't be delayed because of the snow."

Kate widened her eyes, "Planes can't land in the snow, o-der wise they can _crash._ " She turned to Will nervously, "What if that happens?"

"The plane won't land if they think it's going to crash," Will explained, "So it may not take off and they might be in New York for an extra day or two. But it's so that they're safe."

Tears filled Kate's eyes, "But-but I want them to come home."

"They will, kiddo, as soon as they can." Hank ceased his wiping and looked caught his granddaughter's watery gaze, "Hopefully they'll be here tomorrow, but if not, we'll figure it out, okay?"

"If Daddy's not here, that lady's gonna try to take me away again," Kate whispered tearfully, "I don't wanna go with her."

"It's okay, your Uncle Will's here, so that's not going to happen," Hank gestured toward the redheaded doctor in his kitchen, "You don't need to worry."

"I-I wanna call Mommy and Daddy." She looked from Will to Hank desperately, "Please?"

"Of course, kiddo. Let's just wash your hands, okay?" Hank nodded at Will, who took the half-finished pizza and placed it atop the stove so that there was room for Kate to wash her hands.

"I'm going to finish up the pizzas while you and Grandpa Hank call your parents, sound good?" Will directed his statement to Kate, though it was mostly for Hank's benefit. A call from Will would likely freak Jay and Erin out, but a call from Hank would be more expected.

Kate nodded and sniffed, tears abating slightly. Hank scooped her up and carried her to the kitchen table. He dialed Erin's number and waited for her to answer, but was sent straight to voicemail. "Hey, kid, just wanted to check in. We're making pizza and Kate wanted to say hi, but you're probably in a meeting so we'll try back later." He looked apologetically at Kate, "Sorry, kiddo, I think your parents might still be in a meeting, that's why they didn't pick up."

"But Mommy said her phone would _always_ be on," Kate's eyes filled with tears again, "What if something bad happened to them?"

"I'm sure they're just fine," Will piped up, sprinkling the cheese atop the homemade pizzas, "I bet if we call right before bedtime, their phones will be on, okay?"

* * *

"Do you think she's still awake?" Jay asked Erin excitedly as she drove carefully along the snowy streets, "If she was napping today, maybe she hasn't gone to bed yet?"

"I told Hank to make sure she doesn't sleep too long when she naps," Erin mused, turning onto a more residential street, "But I hope she's up. I can't wait to see her."

"Hank called you," Jay glanced down at Erin's phone that was sitting in the cup holder, "I think when we were still in the air. Oh, God,"

"We're almost there anyway," Erin replied, "I hope everything's okay."

"Is that my brother's car?" Jay perked up when he saw a familiar vehicle parked outside Hank's house, "Oh, shit."

"Fuck," Erin breathed, quickly unbuckling herself and throwing open the car door.

"Careful, it's slippery," Jay warned as they hustled across the street and up Hank's walkway.

"There's a doctor inside," Erin scoffed as Jay almost slipped, "I hope it's not serious." She fished her keys out of her pocket and didn't bother knocking before pushing open the front door.

"Hank?" She called out, forgoing Camille's rule of wiping your feet before entering the house, "Kate?"

"Shh," Will poked his head out of the living room, "Welcome back guys."

"What are you doing here? Where's Kate?" Jay hissed. Wordlessly, Will gestured to the living room couch, where Kate was cuddled up to Hank. Both were fast asleep, a book open across their laps.

"That's cute," Erin smiled, relieved to see her little girl. She looked back up at Will, "What are you doing here?"

"Hank called me. Kate had nosebleed and he freaked, rightfully so, because it was nasty, but she's totally fine. It's just been dry out, that's all. Nothing to worry about. And then Kate invited me to stay for pizza, and these two fell asleep reading a story."

"Aw," Jay murmured, "Thanks for being here, man."

Hank opened his eyes and glanced up at Erin and Jay, who were standing beside the sofa, "Welcome back."

"Hey," Erin smiled, "How'd it go?"

"Not bad," Hank replied, stifling a yawn, "We had a little drama earlier with a nosebleed and she was missing you both pretty badly a few hours ago, so I'm sure she's going to be over the moon that you're back."

"Thanks, Sarge," Jay said appreciatively, unable to keep the smile off his face, "She run you ragged?"

"Just about," Hank rasped, "We had quite the day sledding."

Kate stirred slightly against Hank's chest and blearily opened her eyes. "Hey, baby," Erin whispered, squatting down in front of the couch so that she could see her little girl, "We're home."

The little girl widened her eyes and broke into a grin, "Mommy!" She threw herself into Erin's waiting arms, holding tightly around her mother's neck, "You came back!"

"Of course we did," Erin squeezed her daughter closer to her chest, "We missed you so much."

"Where's Daddy?" Kate pulled back, "You come back with him, too?"

"Absolutely," Jay grinned, moving from his position next to his brother over to in front of the couch, "Told you we'd be back."

"Daddy!" Kate squealed, reaching her arms up so that Jay could hold her, "I'm so glad you comed home!"

"We missed you too much to stay another night in New York," Jay kissed the top of his baby's head as he held her closely, "Did you have a fun time with Grandpa Hank?"

"So much fun, Daddy!" Kate pulled back so she could look up at her father, "Did you and Mommy see 'tenant Benson?"

"We actually skipped dinner with her so we could come home early, so we're very hungry," Jay booped Kate on the nose, "And it smells delicious in here."

"Me and Uncle Will and Grandpa Hank made _pizza,_ " Kate informed him, cuddling closer, "I missed you so much."

Jay beamed at Erin, "We're happy to be home with you, Squirt."

* * *

It was past midnight by the time the little family returned to their apartment building, Valentine's Day having come and gone. "I'm so glad you comed back," Kate murmured as Jay carried her down the hallway to their apartment, "I was only a little worried but I missed you."

"We missed you more, my love," Erin pushed open their apartment door, "But I'm glad you and Grandpa Hank had such a good time. And the pizza you made was so good."

"He makes pesto with Camille's recipe," Kate told her, "That's how come it's so yummy."

"She was an amazing cook," Erin mused, shedding her jacket and dropping her suitcase by the door, "What do you say we head to bed? I think we can sleep in a little bit tomorrow since Daddy and I don't have work."

"I snuggle with you?" Kate asked hopefully, glancing up at Jay.

"Of course," He kissed the top of her head, "Come on, babe, let's go to sleep. I barely slept in that hotel room."

"And not for the good reason," Erin grumbled, already shedding her sweater as she made her way to the bedroom, "I am so excited to be back in our bed with our girl."

* * *

"Mommy?" Kate asked over the chocolate chip blueberry pancakes that she and Jay had created, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course," Erin set her fork down and smiled at her little girl, "What's up?"

"You 'member when we had to test-fy against Big Joe?" She looked nervously up at her mother, who had widened her eyes in response to the question.

"Yes, sweetheart," Erin replied, "I do remember." She cast a glance over to her partner, who had also set his fork down and was listening intently.

"You know that he can't get you, right?" Jay said, "Joseph Pierce is in jail, and he's not getting out. I promise you're safe, Squirt."

"I know," Kate glanced down at her hands, "I worried 'bout Mr. Bowler."

Erin felt her blood run cold at the mention of the aggressive attorney. She looked over at Jay and suddenly realized where the conversation might be heading. "He's headed to jail too, actually. He was, uh, involved with part of what Mr. P and Big Joe were doing, so he's going to jail soon as well." She tried to force a smile, "He can't hurt you, baby."

"Okay," the little girl lifted her head slightly to meet her mother's gaze, "I'm worried 'bout what he _said._ " She looked over at Jay and then back to Erin, "He was mean."

Jay took a deep breath and nodded slightly toward Erin, indicating that he would start, "You're right, kiddo, he was mean. And he said some terrible things about me and Mommy, things that he knows very little about and that he should not have said."

"Grandpa Hank said he was a _liar,_ " Kate whispered, "So what he said wasn't true?"

Erin closed her eyes briefly, trying to wrap her head around the fact that her four year old daughter was going to learn about her many failures as a person and as a detective. "Some of what he said was true," she started, "But he doesn't know the whole story, but if you'd like, Daddy and I can tell you."

Kate looked from Jay to Erin worriedly, "I only 'membered he said those things when that lady tried to take me from Mommy. I-I don't want you to be mad."

"We're not mad at all, sweetheart. You were told some things about us, and it's perfectly alright that you have questions," Jay smiled slightly, "You can always ask us about anything, okay?"

She nodded and glanced down at her hands again, "Mr. Bowler said you _killed_ people. When you were in 'f-gan-istan."

Jay reached across the table and placed his hand on Kate's fingers, "So when I was in Afghanistan, I was fighting a war. There were some bad people over there who had come to the United States and killed a lot of people, and I was over there to make sure that they wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else." He took another deep breath, "And while I was there, some of the Afghan people were upset with us, and placed bombs on the sides of the roads, and would try to shoot us." He swallowed, "And sometimes, they would take people on my team and hold them hostage, or even kill them. And because those people were bad, they would use kids to try and protect themselves."

He looked over at Erin sadly, "And uh, one time, one of my guys was being held by this very bad man. And I needed to get my friend back, so I had to shoot the man who was holding him," Jay paused, "And the bullet went through the man's neck and hit the little boy behind him." He grimaced, "I never meant to kill him, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Jay tried to read his little girl's expression, but she was just staring at him intently, "Those times in Afghanistan are the reason why I have bad nightmares sometimes. I went through a lot of tough stuff over there, and I never wanted to kill anybody, but sometimes I did what I had to do."

Kate nodded slowly in understanding, "You…you kill people now, too?"

He winced, forgetting how good his little girl was at putting two and two together. "Um, yes. Only when they're firing at me or someone on my team. Same goes for what happened in Afghanistan, I've only fired my gun if someone was in danger." Jay wracked his brain trying to think of an example that would resonate with his daughter, "Last year, there was a group of people who were breaking into homes and hurting families. And the woman pretended to be hurt so that we wouldn't know about her crew, so Mommy went to talk to her. And while Mommy was there, one of the men tried to hurt her. And I found her in time, but the man had a knife. And I didn't want him to hurt Mommy, so I shot him." Jay shuddered slightly, recalling the horrific sight when he killed the guy who had a knife against Erin's neck, about to rape her. They had only been dating seriously for a month or two, but he never forgot how scared he was that he was going to lose his girl.

"You only do it 'cause you're protecting people?" Kate cocked her head slightly to the side, "Same with Mommy and Grandpa Hank?"

"That's right," Erin finally found her voice, "Only if someone is threatening us or our unit do we ever shoot them. And we don't like to have to use our weapons, but sometimes, to protect people, we do."

Kate breathed a sigh of relief, "So Mr. Bowler was trying to trick me? To make me think that you were bad?"

"Yep," Jay confirmed, "He was trying to scare you. But I promise, Mommy and I would never hurt someone unless they were threatening someone."

"I'm glad," Kate looked up at Erin, the soft smile fading from her lips, "He also said really bad stuff about Mommy."

"I know," Erin managed, "Uh, a lot of what I used to do had to do with my mom, but a lot of it was also my fault, okay? And I'm really sorry that you had to hear about it from Ed Bowler, but I need you to know that I don't do any of it now."

"You don't gotta tell me if you don't want to," Kate rushed out, pushing back her chair, "I-I don't want you to be sad."

"It's okay, baby, really," Erin reached a hand out, "I think that you deserve to know, especially since you've already seen so much, and that you heard about it from Bowler." She looked to Jay as if to ask permission to share her past experiences with the little girl.

"Why don't we go sit on the couch?" Jay suggested, standing up, "We can clean the kitchen a little later." He crossed into the sitting area and plopped down, indicating that Kate should join him. Erin sat beside Jay, while Kate sat nervously in the opposite corner.

"I don't want you to be mad at me," Kate whispered, "I-I'm sorry I asked, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, sweetheart, it's fine," Erin smiled, "Really. I want you to hear the truth from me, okay?"

The little girl nodded slowly, still appearing incredibly anxious. "So, I've told you a little bit about my mom, Bunny, and that she wasn't really around for me when I was growing up, right?" Erin started, Kate nodding again in confirmation. "Bunny, uh, was never a good mom. She did a lot of bad things-"

"Like the drugs?" Kate asked, "That's what she used to do with Mr. P."

"Yes," Erin confirmed, taking a breath, "She, uh, used to do a lot of drugs, and she uh, always had some guys around. And sometimes those guys weren't nice to me and one of them, when I was a few years older than you, got me to start selling drugs so that we could keep the lights on in the apartment." Jay squeezed Erin's knee gently in reassurance, "And I started doing drugs too. And the thing with drugs is that once you try it, you get hooked, and you need it."

Erin swallowed, trying to keep the tears at bay. She hated that she had to explain this to a four-year-old, and hated even more that her little girl probably understood everything she was hearing. "And drugs are really, really bad for you. They make you do things you don't want to do, and they can make you sick. And Grandpa Hank, he found me one time and he gave me his card, and said to call him if I wanted an out. So eventually I did, and I went to live with him and Camille and Justin. And they helped me stop taking the drugs, helped me through school and helped me get into the Police Academy."

"And you don't do drugs no more?" Kate asked quietly, slowly processing the history that Erin had relayed.

She shook her head, "Nope. No drugs." Erin paused and sucked in a breath, "But, actually, um, a few years ago, I had a bit of a slip up. And it was actually Daddy who came and got me and helped me."

"H-how come?" Kate whispered, appearing to have relaxed slightly.

Erin closed her eyes briefly, feeling Jay's hand tenderly tracing circles on her lower back, "I don't think I've ever told you about my friend Nadia, have I?"

Kate shook her head, "One time, when you were sleepin', you said her name."

Erin smiled, tears welling in her eyes, "Well, she was like a little sister to me. And she was into some bad stuff, like I had been, and I wanted to help her. And she got better and even worked in Intelligence for a while, until, um," Erin paused, unable to complete the sentence.

"There was a very bad man who hurt Nadia," Jay supplied gently, "He did some horrible things to her and he killed her. And that man is dead now, but he managed to hurt a lot of women."

"It made your heart hurt," Kate said softly, "When he killed her."

Erin nodded, a few tears creeping out of the corners of her eyes, "You're right. It did. And um, I wasn't strong enough to say no when I was offered drugs. But um, your daddy here, saved me." Jay kissed her temple, bringing a hand behind her head. "And I'm so glad he did."

Kate scrambled up from her position on the opposite end of the couch into Erin's lap, squeezing her mother tightly. "I even more glad, Mommy. You and Daddy are the best thing to ever happen to me."

"How are you so perfect?" Erin kissed the top of Kate's head and looked up at Jay, "How did we get so lucky?"

* * *

 **Let me know your thoughts - I can wrap it up or make it a bit longer, but I want to make sure people actually like it so if not, I can do something more people would be into :)**


	43. Chapter 43

**Glad to hear that people are still reading :) I have a a few more ideas in the works for this story, so keep telling me when you like it and I'll get them out to you as soon as I can (wink wink)**

* * *

Jay and Erin sat rigidly in the gallery seats of the courthouse, listening to Paul Jackson's attorney attempt to his client. "There is absolutely no concrete proof that my client was ever involved in the distribution of child pornography or the abuse of a tender-aged child," Randolph Lewis argued, "Everything that has been brought before the jury is circumstantial and inadmissible, especially considering the fact that the child in question is of direct relation to the Chicago Police Department. Your honor, this entire case is a farce, and my client should be released on his own recognizance."

Erin had to clamp her mouth shut to keep herself from letting out a scream in disapproval. How someone could stoop so low and _defend_ a criminal like Jackson never ceased to make her blood boil. Jay sat on her left, knuckles turning white as he gripped the wooden bench in frustration. "I can't believe this guy," Erin hissed as the lawyer droned on, gesturing wildly to the jury, "If Valdez doesn't get a conviction and Jackson walks…"

Jay shook his head slightly, "He won't. She's good. And he _killed_ Sarah Harding. And jumped you. There's no way he's walking."

"I hope you're right," Erin mused, adjusting her court-appropriate blazer. She snapped to attention when the judge banged the gavel, dismissing the courtroom for the jury to deliberate.

"They'll get him, kid," Hank said gruffly, rising to his feet, "Let's get out of here for a bit, go for a walk. Could be days before the jury reaches a verdict."

"Can we pick up Kate from school early?" Jay looked at Erin hopefully, "Take her out for ice cream or something?"

"She would _love_ that," Erin grinned in response, "Hank, you want to join?"

"You two go," Hank gestured to the exit, "I've got to take care of some stuff back at the district. I'll let you know if Valdez calls, okay?"

"Thanks, Sarge," Jay placed his hand on the small of Erin's back, leading her out of the courthouse and to the Sierra.

* * *

"Look, they put new artwork up," Jay gestured to the wall that boasted colorful construction paper posters created by very little hands. "Which one do you think is hers?"

Erin peered up at the carefully-made pieces of art, accompanied by a small write-up by the teacher, explaining that the class made "About Me" posters, and had learned about likes and dislikes. As she slowly walked down the hall, there were colorful drawings of what appeared to be favorite foods, animals and places, along with sentence, "I like _, but I don't like _." One little boy named Eric had drawn a picture of what looked like Wrigley Field with the caption, "I like the Cubs, but I don't like mushrooms." Erin chuckled to herself. "Not sure, babe, but this one is funny."

"I found it," Jay swallowed, pointing at the third from last drawing on the wall. In typical Kate fashion, the artwork was done patiently, depicting herself, her parents and grandfather standing in front of a large fish tank with the caption, "I like the aquarium, but I don't like hitting."

Erin sucked in a breath at the honesty of the little girl's statement. No matter how far Kate had come since moving in with the detectives nearly eight months ago, she was constantly reminded of what her child had been forced to endure and its lingering effect on her psyche. She placed a comforting hand on Jay's tensed shoulder, trying to convey with a simple touch that their little girl was safe now. "C'mon, let's go get her."

She poked her head into the alcove where the door to Kate's classroom was and peered through the plexi-glass at the preschoolers, all sitting at their tiny tables, working on some type of art project. Erin spotted Kate sitting on the far side, intently focused on her work. She smiled to herself and knocked lightly, causing Alexa Carlson to look up from another child and gesture for the detectives to come inside. "Erin, Jay, hi!" Alexa smiled widely, "So great to see you, Kate's over at her desk, we're working on coloring the seasons."

"Wow," Erin mused, taking a step into the classroom, Jay right behind her, "How's she doing?"

"Amazing," Alexa emphasized, "Kate is doing remarkably well. She and Taylor have become good friends, and she is speaking up more, which is just so great to see. The progress that she's made is phenomenal, considering everything she's been through. You two have done a great job."

"Thank you," Jay nodded in appreciation, glancing around at the other children. Most were oblivious to the extra adults in the room, including his little girl, who was concentrating hard on what she was writing.

"Kate," Alexa Carlson said softly, pointing to Jay and Erin with a grin, "Look who's here."

"Mommy! Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, dropping the green crayon and rushing across the classroom toward her parents. Jay beamed and lifted his little girl into his arms, holding her closely against his winter coat.

"Hi Squirt!" He kissed her warm cheek, "Surprise."

"You and Mommy both here to pick me up!" Kate grinned widely at her mother and up at Jay, "You don't gotta work?"

"This afternoon, we're all yours," Erin smiled and brushed some of Kate's hair off her face, "Is that okay with you?"

"Yes!" Kate nodded enthusiastically, "I get to go now?"

"You do," Alexa Carlson confirmed, "Don't forget to take your drawing to show your parents, though."

"I won't!" The little girl nodded seriously, "Daddy, you gotta put me down, I gotta get my art!"

Jay chuckled and set his baby down, watching her as she hurried over to her desk and retrieved her carefully-drawn rendition of the four seasons. "Oh, wow, I think that definitely need to go on the fridge," Jay accepted the piece of paper from his little girl and admired her work, "What do you think Er?"

"Absolutely," Erin grinned, holding Kate's backpack and coat, "Ready, baby?"

"Uh-huh," Kate took Erin's outstretched hand and waved goodbye to her teacher, "Bye Miss Carlson, thank you."

"You are very welcome," Alexa waved back, "See you on Monday, Kate."

"We going home early?" Kate asked as the little family made their way out of the small school, "Since you don't gotta be at work?"

"We're actually going to get some ice cream, how does that sound?" Jay wiggled his eyebrows, causing his little girl to giggle. "I know it's a little cold out…"

"Ice cream is still good!" Kate laughed as Jay tickled her gently, assisting her with all the clips to her car seat.

* * *

"How come you and Daddy don't gotta work right now?" Kate asked after taking a bite of the Oreo flavored ice cream she had selected, "You guys are always workin' 'cause you gotta protect the city."

"We were in court for most of this morning," Jay explained slowly after Erin cast a nervous look his way, "And the jury has to make a few decisions, which is why they let us all leave and then come back afterwards."

"That's how come you got your suit on," Kate nodded, recognizing that her father seldom wore a suit with the exception of special events and when he was needed in court. She paused and glanced up at her parents worriedly, "Were-were you there 'cause of Mr. P?"

Erin and Jay exchanged glances and both nodded, "But Ms Valdez did a really good job, and the state has a big case against him," Erin tried to reassure the little girl and herself, "They're hopefully going to put him away for a very long time."

"You don't need to worry, okay?" Jay stroked Kate's tiny hand gently, "I know you're nervous, but the lawyers are going to make sure that he spends time in jail for what he did to you."

"And for hurting Mommy?" Kate asked, still appearing incredibly unconvinced, "And for killing that lady?"

"Yep," Jay nodded, offering a gentle smile to Erin, who looked almost as troubled as her little girl, "They're going to get him for those things, and for the drugs, and for other stuff too."

"Is-is that how come you got me from school? Cause he could still get me?" Kate's lower lip quivered and her ice cream sat in the cup, melting and forgotten, "Am I not safe no more?" Tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Oh, no, sweetheart, no," Erin rushed out, quickly plucking a napkin from the dispenser and wiping away her little girl's tears, "You are perfectly safe. And you're safe at school. Daddy and I just wanted to spend some special time with you since we've been working a lot."

"And we don't get to pick you up from school often," Jay added, "And we missed you."

Kate sniffed and looked up at her parents who were staring back at her lovingly, "So everything's okay?"

"Everything's perfectly fine," Erin smiled, scooting her chair back so the little girl could climb into her lap, "I know we've had a crazy few months, but everything is finally getting back to normal."

"And you're safe, we promise," Jay emphasized, "Mommy and I are going to make sure of that."

* * *

"I won't be late," Erin reassured Jay as he zipped up the back of her tight navy dress, "Burgess just needs some support from her girlfriends right now, you know?"

"I get it," Jay nodded, taking a step back to admire his girl from behind, the dress she had donned causing his mind to venture to all kinds of places, "I just wish you didn't look so smoking hot in that dress."

" _You're_ going to be the one taking this off tonight," Erin spun around, her eyes twinkling, "And I wanted to watch the game tonight with you and Kate, but Kim's been seeing that guy and I know she still misses being with Ruzek…"

"Don't feel guilty for having a night out, babe," Jay leaned down and kissed her cheek, "It's going to be great. Will's coming over, and he and Kate and I are going to eat pizza and watch the game."

"I know, I can't help it." Erin tousled her hair, "Maybe I should just stay. Work's been busy, I feel like we barely see Kate, and I don't want her to feel like I'm choosing to do something else over spending time with her."

"Erin," Jay cupped Erin's cheek with his palm, "Kate's going to be fine with Will and I for a few hours. We spent the whole afternoon with her yesterday and the whole day today. You haven't had a night out in months. Seriously, babe, you're going."

A loud knock at the door cut off Erin before she was able to speak. "I got it!" Will's voice echoed throughout the apartment, followed by the pitter-patter of Kate's footsteps away from the front door. While she was comfortable with her family, new people always made the little girl nervous.

"Wow Mommy, you look so fancy!" Kate exclaimed, hurrying into their bedroom to stand beside Jay while Will paid the pizza guy, "You gonna play with Off-cer Kim?"

"I am," Erin smiled and squatted down to look her baby in the eyes, "Is that okay with you? If you spend some time with Daddy and Uncle Will?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, reaching a tiny hand out to touch the earrings that Erin had selected, "You look very pretty."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Erin stroked her cheek, "And I won't be very late, and I know you three are going to have a great time watching the game and eating pizza."

"You comin' back though, right?" Kate confirmed, looking up to Jay as well.

"Absolutely," she kissed her baby's forehead, "And I am so jealous that you and Daddy and Uncle Will get to watch the game."

"We get pizza too," Kate smiled sweetly, "We can save you a piece?"

"That would be amazing," Erin stood and adjusted her dress, "Okay, Kim is probably waiting for me. You sure this is okay?" She looked at Jay, who rolled his eyes.

"Get out of here, babe. We're going to have a great time." He lifted Kate into his arms, "We're going to eat pizza and watch the Hawks decimate the Rangers and read some stories before bedtime!" Kate giggled when Jay tickled her gently.

"We gonna miss you Mommy," Kate squealed as Jay poked her again, "But you gonna have fun!"

Erin chuckled and grabbed her clutch from her dresser, "Okay, you three Halsteads better behave yourselves. Kate, I'm trusting you to keep these two goons in line, sound good?"

"I got it!" Kate said seriously, earning a laugh from her father.

"Don't worry, Erin. We're going to be fine." Will placed the hot pizza on the countertop, "You've got a doctor and a cop in the building."

"Yeah, yeah," Erin scoffed, pulling on a pair of heels and accepting her heavy coat from Jay, "Okay, call me if you need anything. I won't be late."

"Love you," Jay pressed a chaste kiss on her lips before whispering something in her ear. Her cheeks darkened and she gave him a swift swat on the chest before turning to her little girl.

"Have a fun time with Daddy and Uncle Will, baby. I'll come say good night to you when I come home, okay? I love you."

"Love you too," Kate kissed her mother's cheek.

"Be good, boys," Erin called over her shoulder, raising her eyebrows at her partner when he flashed a boyish grin. She closed the door behind her.

"I order wings as well," Will broke the silence, "And mozzarella sticks."

"Amazing," Jay grinned, "I don't think Kate has ever tried those. What do you think, Squirt? Want to go on a culinary experience that you'll never forget?"

"Okay," Kate said skeptically, glancing at the Styrofoam containers with the junk food, "Am I gonna like it?"

"I hope so," Will grinned, "You can't have a Hawks game without wings and mozz sticks."

* * *

By the end of the second third of the game, Kate was fast asleep on Jay's chest. She was not a fan of the chicken wings, but found the mozzarella sticks to be surprisingly delicious despite their appearance. "I like them, Daddy!" she had squealed, mouth full of cheese, "But not as much as I like strawberries."

"You've got an amazing kid there," Will said fondly after a sip of beer, "Sometimes I can't believe she's _actually_ yours."

"Thanks, man," Jay rolled his eyes at his brother's jab, "She is incredible though. I mean, she's literally been through hell and has come out on the other side. You know what she told me and Erin the other day? That we were the best thing to ever happen to her. And she's _four._ And honestly, _she's_ the best thing that ever happened to me. But the fact that she knows about what she went through and how drastically different her life is now…" he trailed off, taking a slow sip of his beer, "She amazes me, constantly."

"How are the nightmares?" Will asked, "Voight mentioned that when she stayed with him, things were pretty okay."

"It's alright," Jay ran a hand over his sleeping daughter's head, "When she sleeps in our bed she usually makes it through the night. So on nights when she's in her own bed there's usually one or two, and sometimes we just end up taking her to bed with us. It's hard to find a balance though, because we don't want her to be unable to sleep alone, but it kills me when she wakes up screaming."

"I bet," Will mused, "Can't imagine how terrifying those dreams must be."

"Breaks my heart," Jay responded honestly, "Some of the things she says, the things that she's seen…And being in the courtroom yesterday, where that bastard was sitting smugly…" he trailed off, unable to complete the thought.

"They'll get him, Jay. There's no way they let a scumbag like that just walk."

"I know, I know," he shook his head, "I get so angry when I think about what he did to Kate, how he hurt Erin…they're my girls, man. I just…it makes my blood boil."

"I get it, I really do." Will nodded, "They're the most important things in your life, Kate and Erin. They're your family. And he hurt them. But justice is coming for him."

"I hope you're right," Jay mumbled. He glanced down at the sleeping form on his chest and then turned to his brother, "Do you have the key to Mom's safety deposit box?"

"Yeah, I do. It's in my apartment," Will raised his eyebrows, "What do you need in there?"

"I want to ask Erin to marry me," Jay breathed. He smiled wistfully, "I love her. And I couldn't do this without her. She's my daughter's mother, she's my partner and she's the strongest woman I know."

"About time," Will grinned, taking another sip, "I'll get you the key, bro. And I'm happy for you, I really am."

* * *

Will left after the Blackhawks won in overtime, determined to get home before his long shift in the morning. Jay remained on the couch, unwilling to remove his daughter from her comfy position on his chest. He glanced at the time in the lower right-hand corner of the screen and widened his eyes in surprise. It was past midnight, and Erin had texted two hours earlier promising to be home around eleven. Just as he reached for his phone on the coffee table, Jay heard the familiar sound of the key scraping against the lock.

Erin stumbled into the apartment, clearly trying to be as quiet as possible but quite obviously failing at it while she struggled to pull off her heels. "Hey babe," Jay whispered, causing her to snap her head up. A goofy grin spread across her cheeks as she regarded her partner and her little girl. "Did you have a good time?"

"Uh-huh," Erin giggled, shuffling across the living room and squeezing herself in between the side of the couch and Jay's lap. He chuckled, running a hand over her wind-blown locks and pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Who knew that becoming a mom would make me such a _lightweight_?"

Jay chuckled again as she settled against him, reaching a hand to run through her baby girl's hair, "How'd she do?"

"Well, we tried mozzarella sticks and chicken wings. She didn't love the wings, but she liked the fried cheese," Jay informed her, watching in amusement as Erin's eyebrows shot up.

"Do we have any more?" She asked hopefully, her voice sounding remarkably innocent and sweet through her inebriation. Jay nodded and gestured toward the pizza box on the coffee table.

"Will wanted to eat them, but Kate told him we had to save a few for you. And two slices of pepperoni." Jay grinned as Erin excitedly lifted a piece of pizza to her mouth, moaning in appreciation.

"God, I love this kid," she mumbled through a mouthful of sauce and cheese, "If she wasn't here, you two _totally_ would have eaten everything."

"Hey!" Jay exclaimed, "I would not."

Erin giggled and proceeded to take a bite out of the cold mozzarella stick, "I know. You would have saved me a piece. 'Cause you _always_ take care of me. Even when I make you mad." She settled in closer, trying to get comfortable in her fancy dress, "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I know," Jay kissed her cheek where she had gotten a bit of marinara sauce, "And I love you." Erin snuggled closer, still holding a slice of pizza in one hand, "So, did you have a good time?"

"Eh," Erin shrugged, "I just wanted to be home with you guys." She glanced over at her little girl, still snoozing softly on her partner's chest, "God she's cute."

Jay grinned, pulling Erin closer, "I guess being a mom really has made you soft, Er. Never thought I'd see the day when Erin Lindsay couldn't hold her liquor."

"Hey!" Erin pulled back from her partner's embrace, scowling at the goofy grin he wore, "I am _not_ soft. I haven't been drinking since I got bashed over the head by a psychopath, thank you very much. And I'd like to see you keep up with a group of women, two of whom are heartbroken."

"I'm kidding babe." Jay tucked some loose hair behind her ear, "I'm just kidding."

"Fine," she huffed, settling back against his shoulder, "And to think, I just wanted to come home and have sex with my boyfriend, but he thinks I'm too soft."

"Er…" Jay stifled a laugh. Sometimes, when she had a little too much to drink, Erin became incredibly stubborn and grumpy if she didn't get her way. "Come on, let's get you and Kate to bed. It's late."

"No," Erin shook her head, "We're staying here."

"Oh, are we now?" he asked teasingly, "Since when?"

"Since I decided," she replied simply, turning her face into his shoulder, "I don't want to go to bed yet."

* * *

Erin groaned slightly as she opened her eyes, turning her head from the pillow her face was pressed into. For a Chicago winter, the Sunday was bright and the floor to ceiling windows were not helping her pounding headache. "Hi Mommy," a soft voice whispered. Erin tilted her head and caught the gaze of her sweet little girl, standing beside the bed bearing a mug of what smelled like hot coffee.

"Hey, baby," Erin rasped, pushing herself up slightly, "Did you bring me coffee?"

Kate nodded and offered a smile, "Daddy said you gonna need it 'cause we're going hiking today."

"Hiking, huh?" Erin accepted the mug from her daughter a took a slow sip, savoring the beverage as it scalded her mouth, "Well, that sounds like fun."

Kate nodded again, placing her little arms onto the mattress, "But I told Daddy that I had an idea that would be more fun," she smiled up at Erin, "If we played legos inside," Kate leaned in closer to her mother, "That way you could go back to sleep."

"Ah, I love you so much," Erin hoisted the little girl up onto the bed, Kate eliciting squeals of delight, "How do you always know what I need?"

"Cause you're my _mommy_ ," Kate replied simply, snuggling under the covers next to her mother.

"So I guess we're not going for a hike then, are we?" Jay stood in the doorway, unable to keep the grin off his face.

"No," Erin grunted, burying her face in Kate's hair. She reached an arm out from underneath the covers, "Come back to bed, babe. We're having a lazy day in bed."

"Mm, I can see that," Jay crawled closer to his family, shimming underneath the covers and pulling Erin closer, "Next weekend we can go for a hike."

* * *

 **AHH is a Linstead _proposal_ in the works? Marriage? Drama? Idk, you'll have to stay tuned to find out ;)**


	44. Chapter 44

**My early Thanksgiving present to all those who are celebrating is a chapter uploaded early! Very thankful for all the support/kind reviews/positive thoughts xo**

* * *

"The jury made a decision," Hank announced, stepping out of his office, coat in hand, "Valdez just called."

Erin and Jay leapt up from their desks simultaneously. Jay handed Erin her coat and they quickly exited the district, driving in silence to the courthouse. The anxiety that hung between them was palpable, neither detective able to vocalize the nervousness they felt surrounding Jackson's hopeful conviction. While the little family had a relaxing weekend together, it was shrouded in Erin and Jay's worry about the trial. Lewis was an incredibly skilled attorney and while Valdez was good too, the jury appeared skeptical of the role CPD played in Jackson's arrest.

Kate had clearly picked up on her parents worry, but chose not to address it, instead clinging to Jay's legs at drop off, begging him to take her with them to the district. Normally, the little girl was excited to go to school, but this Monday morning she was _not_ having it. "Take me with you, Daddy," she begged, looking up at her father with large, watery orbs, "Please, please, I wanna come to work with you."

"I know, kiddo, but you've got to go to school. You love learning," Jay squatted down to meet his little girl's eyes, "And you'll be with us in a few hours, Sergeant Platt is going to pick you up and then we'll see each other, okay?"

"But I want to come with you now," Kate's lower lip trembled as she willed herself not to cry, "I-I don't wanna be by myself."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," Erin ran a hand over the top of Kate's head as she stood behind her little girl, "Daddy and I have a really busy day ahead of us, and you're going to have way more fun at school than at the district. But afterwards, we're all going to be together and tonight we can have pizza for dinner, how about that?"

It had taken a lot of convincing, but Kate agreed to go to school with the caveat that her parents would be together all day, and that she and Sergeant Platt would venture to the library for a few new books once she finished her day. It always tugged on her parent's heartstrings to leave their little girl when all she wanted was to be with them, but they knew that it was important for her to understand they couldn't be together all the time.

"What if they don't convict him?" Erin whispered to Jay as they took their seats in the courthouse, "What if after everything we've been through, everything he did to Kate, the jury doesn't convict him of the abuse of a child?"

"I don't know, babe," Jay murmured, resting a hand on Erin's thigh, "But we'll figure it out, okay?"

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" The judge barked after banging his gavel. The detectives snapped to attention, training their gaze on the back of ASA Valdez's head as she stood before the stand.

"We have, your Honor," one juror stood, the verdict in his hand.

"What say you?"

The juror proceeded to convict Jackson of all drug and possession of child pornography charges, as well as for the murder of Sarah Harding. "On the charge of abuse of a tender aged child in the first degree, we find the defendant, guilty."

Erin and Jay let out a breath of relief, Erin leaning into her partner's shoulder, "Thank God," she murmured into his neck, "Thank God."

Jay sighed, offering a tired smile at ASA Valdez when she turned around. "I think we'll all sleep better tonight knowing that bastard is behind bars for what he did to Kate. And to you."

"Congratulations, you two," Hank smiled at his detectives after they had exited the court room, "Glad the jury came up on the right side this time."

"Me too," Erin nodded, "Ruzek texted, he said that they got a confession from the drug dealer?"

"Mm-hm," Hank confirmed, "Case is wrapping up, I'm headed back to the district to sign off."

"Great, we'll meet you there," Erin replied, but her partner interrupted.

"Actually, Sarge, can you give us an hour or two?"

Both Erin and Hank looked at Jay quizzically, "What do we need to do?" Erin asked him, "Platt's already picking Kate up in like ten minutes."

Jay nodded, "I know. I was just thinking that while we're at the courthouse, maybe we could file the adoption application?" He smiled as he watched his girl's features soften, as well as his boss, "I mean, we're here and you're already her mom but we should get it down on paper-"

"Yes," Erin grinned, "Yes, yes, let's do it." She looked up at her sergeant, who nodded his approval, unable to keep the smile off his face.

* * *

"I was freaking out about verdict," Erin told Jay as they walked up the steps toward the bullpen, "And I think Kate picked up on it, that's why she was so anxious before school."

"She's really in tune with people's emotions," Jay replied, scanning his hand and pulling open the door when it buzzed, "I bet she'd make a great detective – literally nothing gets by her."

Erin smiled wistfully, "Babe, that kid is so smart, I think she could do any job there is." She glanced around the office, her grin widening as she saw back of her little girl's head while she sat at the table in the breakroom. "Platt must have already taken her to the library, look at how she's concentrating on that book."

"So smart," Jay mused, observing his daughter from afar, "I really wonder where she gets it from, because Will and I used to _hate_ reading." He paused and turned to Erin, "She must get it from you."

"Babe, we just filed the _adoption_ application. As much as I wish I was, I'm not biologically related to her." Erin patted him on the chest lightly, "But that doesn't make me love her any differently."

Jay nodded, leaning down to kiss his girlfriend's lips, thankful for the empty bullpen, "I know. I just see so much of her in you, it's incredible. Eight months ago, I had no idea she existed, and you brought her out of that closet and into our lives because she knew that she could trust you. And I can't thank you enough for that babe, I really can't." He swallowed and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I am so glad that you're going to be her forever mom."

Erin cupped her partner's cheek with her hand, "Me too."

"Mommy? Daddy?" Kate turned around from her seat in the breakroom and caught sight of her parents standing by the steps. "You're back!"

"Hey, baby," Erin squatted down to envelope the little girl in a hug, grinning from ear to ear as her daughter raced toward her and threw herself into her mother's waiting arms, "Gosh, I missed you today."

"How was your day, kiddo?" Jay asked, crouching down beside his partner, "Did you learn a lot?"

Kate nodded seriously, "But I _missed_ you guys."

"We missed you more," Jay stroked his baby's cheek, "But we have some good news for you." He exchanged a glance with Erin, who nodded, encouraging him to tell their daughter, "Mr. P is going to be in jail for a very long time. You don't have to worry about him getting you anymore, okay?"

"Really?" Kate widened her eyes as she regarded her parents, "He's-he's in jail? For good?"

"Yep," Erin confirmed, "He's going to a maximum-security prison down state, far away from here. You're safe, baby, we promise."

"I'm glad," Kate exhaled, leaning against Erin, "I was worried." She smiled brightly, "But now he can't hurt you guys."

"That's right, Squirt," Jay nodded, "And we have some more good news for you, too." He squeezed Erin's hand, "Today, Mommy and I officially filed the papers so that we can be your forever parents. So soon, once a judge signs off, we're going to have a big celebration."

Kate threw her arms around Jay's neck at his statement, "Forever, right?" She said, pulling back quickly to look at her mother, who was quickly wiping the tears of joy from her eyes, "That means no matter what, you gonna be my mommy and Daddy's gonna be my daddy?"

"Absolutely," Erin kissed Kate's cheek, "We're going to be a family, forever. Does that sound good to you?"

The little girl nodded furiously, reaching out to hug her mother, "I so glad you saved me," she breathed, "So glad."

* * *

"Night, Sarge, thanks," Jay waved to Platt as he and Erin exited the district before 6pm, a rare feat for the couple. He was holding Kate's hand in his own as they set out to brave the windy Chicago evening before a familiar face stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey, son," Pat Halstead stood from his seat on the bench.

Jay's jaw dropped slightly and Kate quickly stepped behind her father's leg, "Dad…what are you doing here?"

"I haven't seen you in months, Jay," the older man said brusquely, "You'd think a son would be happy to see his old man." Pat glanced down at the child who was obstructed by his son's leg, "Who's this?"

"My daughter," Jay replied shortly, "Kate."

Pat raised his eyebrows, "I've saw her last time I came around lookin' for you. Huh. And where might this child's mother be?"

"Sorry, babe, Hank wanted to touch base on the Jones homicide," Erin was searching in her bag for her keys but looked up when she caught sight of who her partner was talking to. She paused, "Hi, I'm Erin Lindsay. Jay's partner." Erin extended her palm, which Pat shook.

"Partner, huh," Pat grunted, "You are not the same woman who showed up on my doorstep five years ago, claiming to be pregnant with my grandchild."

Erin gasped. "Excuse me?" Jay choked out, "What are you talking about?"He placed a hand on Kate's shoulder and could feel the little girl trembling behind his leg. He narrowed his eyes when the man in front of him didn't immediately respond, "Dad?"

Pat shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, a few years back, some pregnant girl showed up at the house, lookin' for you. Said you were the father. I gave her your number, but I figured she was just lookin' for money." He raised his eyebrows and looked at Erin, "You're tellin' me you got another woman pregnant?"

Jay was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Jillian Turner had shown up at his childhood home, looking for him. "What-no-Erin is my girlfriend. She's adopting Kate. Not that it's any of your business," Jay ran a hand over his face, "Why didn't you tell me that a woman came by looking for me?"

"I hadn't heard from you in months. I thought she was lookin' for money. So what, you had a baby out of wedlock, dumped the woman and kept the kid?" Pat scoffed, "If your mother could see you now-"

"You knew that I had a child," Jay interrupted, "You knew, and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't _know_ anything," Pat bit back, "Still don't, apparently, because clearly you've been raising this kid so somehow the woman found you or-"

"Eight months ago," Jay informed him tersely, "Eight months ago, Kate's mother got out of prison and came to tell me that people were abusing her daughter. _My_ daughter. And we found her traumatized, physically and emotionally abused but what I don't understand, is how _you_ knew about her, but didn't tell me." He swallowed, "Which means that if you had just put the fucking bottle down, my little girl wouldn't have been subject the torture that she endured. And she would have been safe."

"Jay," Erin said quietly, resting a hand on her partner's shoulder, "Come on, not here."

"Wasn't my fault you knocked up the bitch," Pat sneered. He glanced down at the shaking child who had shrunk farther back.

Jay opened his mouth to speak, but Erin spoke first, "Jay. Think of who is in the room right now. Not in front of Kate." She placing one arm around the little girl and left her palm on her partner's shoulder, trying to ground him. Kate swiftly turned into Erin with a whimper, so she hoisted her into her arms, "It's okay, baby, we're leaving."

"We're leaving," Jay confirmed, turning away from his father and following his girls out the back door, not bothering to glance at the man who stood behind him.

"Daddy?" Kate's small voice penetrated the silence of the Sierra as Erin drove along the street. Jay had been unable to speak following his run in with his father and had quietly slid into the passenger seat.

"Yes, kiddo?" Jay cleared his throat and turned around to look at his little girl, the streetlights casting a flickering glow on her sweet face as they drove, "What's up?"

"How come you're upset at your daddy?"

He paused, unable to find the words to reply. Erin turned her head quickly to try to get a read on what he was thinking, but quickly returned her eyes to the road. "We, um, have a very complicated relationship. And we, uh, never really got along when I was growing up." Jay took a deep breath, "And he didn't tell me that your biological mother came looking for me before you were born."

Jay could practically see the wheels turning in his little girl's head as she absorbed the information, "My bi-logical mofer wanted to tell you 'bout me?"

"I'm not sure, sweetheart," Jay replied honestly, "I don't know. But I do know that my dad met her, and knew there was a possibility that you existed, and never told me about it."

"Cause you think then I coulda been with you, 'stead of Mr. P?" Kate whispered, piecing together what Jay was thinking.

He drew a sharp intake of breath at the little girl's statement before nodding his head grimly, "Maybe, I don't know. I-I just wish he had said something. And that I had known about you sooner."

Kate nodded in agreement, "I know, Daddy." She glanced out the window before quickly turning back to look at her father, "But you know what?"

"Hm?" Jay asked, swallowing thickly, "What?"

"Even though I got hurt and I still get scared, I got found. By you and Mommy." She offered a shy smile, "And we a family now."

A watery grin spread across Jay's face as he looked at his angelic baby, resting in her car seat. How she was so wise beyond her years blew him away time and time again. "You're right, Squirt, we are a family now."

* * *

"Okay, babes, we're having a girls night tonight while Daddy is at his meeting. What do you want to do for dinner?" Erin was squatting in front of her little girl while she sat at the table in the breakroom, working on a coloring sheet. While Monday had been incredibly eventful for the family, Tuesday was a much slower day, all members of Intelligence feeling relieved that Paul Jackson was behind bars.

"Daddy not comin' home?" Kate looked up from her project, alarmed, "Where's he going?"

"Remember how Daddy goes to meetings on Tuesdays after work?" Erin said gently, "He's going to talk with some of his, um, friends, and then he'll be home a bit later. No big deal." She smiled, "And that means you and I are having a girls night, doesn't that sound like fun?"

Kate nodded slowly, recalling that her father frequented meetings to talk about his past, "But…Daddy's coming home?"

"You bet," Jay piped up, entering the breakroom and placing a hand on Erin's shoulder, "You and Mommy are going to have a fun night together though. And I'll come check on you when I get home, I promise."

Kate nodded again and smiled, relieved. "Mommy, can we make _tacos_ for dinner?"

Erin chuckled and glanced up at Jay, "I think that's a great idea. Daddy's still a little bit afraid of tacos." He nodded grimly, recalling how back in June, a few weeks before Kate came into their lives, Halstead, Atwater and Ruzek stopped at a small taco truck after wrapping up a case. All three of them dealt with some of the worst food poisoning imaginable. Jay spent 24 hours on the bathroom floor, at some points feebly sprawled across Erin's lap as she comforted him.

When he was finally feeling better, Jay had been mortified at the whole experience, but it only confirmed his love for Erin, who sat with him and forced him to drink water despite the fact that he could keep nothing down. He remembered how he thought that she would make an incredible mother, but kept those thoughts to himself as to not freak out his girl.

"Yeah, I don't do tacos," Jay said wryly, "But it sounds like you two will have a great time."

"What do you say baby, can we head to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients? I think we can get out of here a bit early," Erin grinned as Kate enthusiastically bounced off her chair.

"You gonna come home tonight, right?" Kate looked up at Jay expectantly, waiting for reconfirmation that her father was indeed coming home, albeit a bit later than usual.

"Absolutely," Jay lifted the little girl into his arms, "You and Mommy are going to have a great time, and I'll be home before you know it. I promise."

* * *

"Uh, Jay Halstead. Rangers. Afghanistan," Jay swallowed thickly, "I don't know, I guess the past few weeks, months even, have been rough. I, uh, found out about eight months ago that I was a dad and that there was a little girl who was out there, all alone and um, was being really badly abused."

He paused and glanced around the room of rough and tumble military men and women, all whose gazes softened, "And we, uh, my partner and I, we found her and brought her home. I…I never knew I could love someone so quickly, so easily, but this kid…man, she is just amazing." Jay smiled wistfully, but it quickly faded, "But uh, she was really hurt by these bastards. And was in the hospital but she's slowly getting better. And stronger and less things scare her now. But, um, what hasn't changed are the nightmares. She-she wakes up screaming almost every night, and I wake up and my blood runs cold because all of a sudden I'm back in the valley and…" He trailed off, unable to complete the thought.

"But after a second I realize that I'm home, in Chicago, and there's a little girl who's been through unimaginable and all of a sudden, everything I'm feeling feels like nothing." Jay grimaced. "Um, a few weeks ago, I had a real bad night. Like I was fine and then I woke up in another state and didn't know what happened. And the worst part about it is that I left my girls scared and alone even though I promised myself I would never do that to anyone." He swallowed again, "So um, that's why I'm back. Because even though my kid's seen the worst, she and my girlfriend need me to be okay."

Jay quietly slipped into the apartment just before midnight. The meeting had run a bit longer, and he had been too emotionally drained to drive. He and another veteran named Michael drank coffee and sat silently in the fold-up metal chairs, decompressing from the heavy conversation. Erin had texted to say that tacos had been a great success, and that she and Kate were headed to bed after a few stories.

After checking on his sleeping little girl and pressing a kiss to her forehead, Jay shed his Henley before climbing into bed beside his girl, who was cuddled up to an extra pillow in leiu of her partner. "Hey, babe," she mumbled, tossing the pillow to the ground and immediately cuddling closer to Jay, "How'd the meeting go?"

Jay sighed, relaxing into Erin's touch, "Long. But good. How did the tacos go over?"

"She loved them," Erin ran a hand over Jay's chest, "She was worried that you weren't home when we went to bed, but I told her you would check on her. You did, right?"

"Mm," Jay confirmed, threading his fingers through Erin's hair, "Yep. She was sleeping soundly."

* * *

Jay snapped his eyes open, a soft thud having woken him up from a deep slumber. He turned his head to see his girl still snuggled up against him, one arm slung over his torso, keeping him close. He smiled tiredly and was about to close his eyes again when he heard the quick pitter-patter of little feet hurriedly approaching their bedroom. "Kate?" he mumbled, squinting at the doorway, "Kate?"

The little girl rushed to her father's bedside and heaved a giant sigh of relief when she saw that both of her parents were in their bed. "Daddy," she breathed, shivering slightly in her bare feet, "You home."

"Of course," Jay reached a hand out to stroke her cheek, "I checked on you, but you were sleeping so peacefully. Did you have a nightmare?"

Kate nodded timidly, "I-I worried you didn't come home."

"I'm here now," Jay reassured her, "Do you want to come snuggle with me and Mommy?"

She nodded again, glancing at the little space that was on Jay's side of the bed, "I-I wanna be next to you and Mommy."

"Of course, Squirt," Jay smiled gently, helping the little girl onto the bed and onto his chest, where she could rest in direct proximity to both of her parents, "That better?"

"Uh-huh," she breathed, placing her head under Jay's chin, "I like being close to you guys."

"We do too," Jay whispered, carefully moving Erin's arm so that it was on top of her little girl as well, "Sweet dreams, kiddo, I love you."

* * *

 **Next chapter is my new favorite one I think...when I get nice comments or suggestions I def upload quicker if you know what I mean so lmk if you like it and maybe there'll be another one in a day or two :)  
**


	45. Chapter 45

**Let me know what you think! The next one is a doozy.  
**

* * *

"Daddy!" Kate squealed joyfully as she caught sight of her father exiting the breakroom, mug of coffee in his hand. He grinned and set the beverage down on his desk so that he could hold his little girl in his arms. She raced toward him and wrapped her tiny arms around his neck tightly.

"Hey Squirt," he smiled, inhaling deeply as he held her close, "How was your day?"

"We learned more 'bout math today," she informed him, "But I already knew 'bout it, 'cause you taught me how to do the multi-cation."

"Wow," Jay mused, standing with his child in his arms, "Sounds like we need to learn about division next time, hm?"

"I figured dat one out," Kate told him seriously and nodded when her father widened his eyes in surprise, "Miss Carlson said she was i-pressed with me."

"You did? How?" Jay was constantly baffled by his daughter's intellect, but division was _hard._ And she was not even five years old and able to figure it out on her own. "Did Sergeant Platt or Grandpa Hank teach you?"

"No, Daddy, it's the _opposite_ of multi-cation. I learned it myself!" She squealed as he tickled her slightly.

"You are just the smartest little squirt there is, aren't you?" He asked, earning more delighted shrieks from his little girl, "Where did you get it from?"

"You and Mommy!" Kate laughed and glanced around at the empty bullpen, "Where's Mommy?"

"She and Kev are on their way back from a crime scene downtown. Burgess and Olinsky are there too."

"H-how come you not with Mommy?" Kate asked, widening her eyes in fear, "She's alone?"

"No, no, kiddo, she's with Atwater. And she's on her way back now, but I had to run an errand when the call came in, so they partnered up. Don't worry, okay? She's on her way." Jay smoothed some of Kate's hair off her face, "I know you get worried when we're not together, but Mommy can handle herself. She's a badass."

"A badass?" Kate asked quietly, causing her father to almost choke. He immediately realized his mistake.

"Uh, yeah, she is, but um, don't tell Mommy that I used that that word, okay? Because little kids like you shouldn't know that kind of language, and as much of a compliment that it is to Mommy, I have a feeling that she would be grumpy with me if she found out that I was teaching you words like that." Jay winced and cursed internally.

"I gotta _lie_?" Kate widened her eyes again, "To Mommy?"

"It's okay, sweetheart, it's all Daddy's fault," Erin tromped up the stairs, Kevin a few paces behind, "Don't worry."

"Mommy!" Kate exclaimed, turning in Jay's embrace to face her mother. He set her down so that she could race into Erin's waiting arms, "I missed you!"

"I missed you more," Erin mumbled into the top of Kate's soft hair, "Did you have a good day?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, "I was tellin' Daddy that I learned 'bout math. And I already knowed multi-cation and division."

"Wow," Erin kissed her baby's head, "And Daddy was teaching you bad words too, hm?"

"I-I-I didn't know it was bad," Kate rushed out, looking fearfully up at Erin, "I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby, you don't have to apologize. Daddy shouldn't be teaching you those words. But it's okay, you're not in trouble," Erin reassured her, "Don't worry."

"I-I don't want Daddy to be in trouble e-der," the little girl whimpered, casting a watery glance toward her father. Jay quickly closed the gap between him and his family to comfort his little girl.

"It's okay, baby, really. Daddy's not in trouble. I'm not mad at him. Being a badass is a compliment, but only grown-ups should use that word. So he's not in trouble, and neither are you," Erin raised her eyebrows at her partner who nodded in agreement.

"Everything's fine, kiddo," Jay stroked Kate's soft check, "Mommy's not mad. It's okay," he repeated, "Promise." He gently kissed Erin's temple, "All good."

"Good," Kate breathed, relaxing in her mother's arms, "You guys gotta get back to work?"

Erin and Jay exchanged glances. They were working on an open homicide investigation and really were needed down at the forensics lab to piece together key evidence. "Just for a little while," Jay replied, "Mommy and I are going to head down to the lab, and then we'll be back, sound good? Do you want to go do some reading with Sergeant Platt?"

Kate nodded, "I got a new book today and it's 'bout _detectives_ ," she looked inquisitively at her parents, "How come you don't got silly hats and coats?"

Jay chuckled, "Well, those are a different kind of detective. What we do is a little different. Maybe we can try to find a book about us, too?"

* * *

"Is everything okay, Kate?" Jay asked over takeout. The little girl had been quiet after her parents had returned to the district to take her home. While she was usually bubblier and excited to tell her parents about all she had learned that day, Kate was silently pushing the vegetables around on her plate.

She looked up and nodded, "Yes Daddy."

"Are you sure?" Erin asked, titling her head slightly to one side, "You've been really quiet this evening."

"I'm a little tired," Kate shrugged, moving her fork around on the plate. It looked like she had barely taken a few bites. Erin and Jay exchanged looks, knowing full well that there was something going on behind their child's eyes.

"You know you can tell us anything, right baby?" Erin hedged, reaching out to touch her little girl's tiny hand. Kate caught her gaze and nodded.

"I know," she murmured, glancing down at her plate full of Chinese food.

"If something is on your mind, maybe we can help," Jay suggested, "A lot of times it's better to talk about things. And then you don't have to deal with it all on your own."

Kate looked up again, "I got invited to Lizzie's birth-day party 'cause everyone in school got invited." She paused and glanced from Erin to Jay, "But I don't like parties."

Again, Jay and Erin shared a glance. "Lizzie from your class?" Erin asked, "That sounds like fun. Birthday parties are supposed to be a good time."

The little girl shook her head, tears rapidly welling in her eyes, "But I don't wanna go."

"Oh, kiddo, you don't have to go if you don't want to," Jay assured her, stroking Kate's cheek with the pad of his thumb, "But parties are fun. There's cake and games and all kinds of fun stuff." He raised his eyebrows as Kate rapidly shook her head. "Are you nervous about the other kids?"

Again, Kate shook her head, "No, I don't like _parties._ " Tears spilled over her cheeks, "M-Mr. P used to have _parties_ and that meaned I would get _hurt._ " She hiccupped, "I don't wanna go."

"Sweetheart, we'd never make you do anything you really didn't want to do," Erin vacated her chair and crouched beside the little girl, "But those other things weren't parties. Those were an excuse for Mr. P to hurt you. A birthday party is a celebration of the day you were born, and you invite your friends and have games and cake. It's supposed to be fun. And it's all kids from your class, no bad guys." She stroked the back of her little girl's head, "I'm so sorry those things happened to you."

"It's 'post to be fun?" Kate asked skeptically, drying her eyes with her sleeve.

"Oh yeah. Did Lizzie give you an invitation?" Jay asked, getting up from the table when Kate gestured to her backpack that was sitting by her shoes. He pulled out the card and read aloud, "Come celebrate Lizzie's 5th birthday at Bouncy Land." Jay grinned, "This is one of those warehouses they fill with all sorts of inflatable bouncy castles. It's _really_ fun."

"It's on Saturday," Erin glanced down at the invitation. "I think you would have a great time, baby. It looks like everyone in your class is going to be there, and there'll be games and all sorts of fun things to do."

Kate remained unconvinced, "I never been to a fun party before."

* * *

Three days later, Jay, Erin and Kate headed over to Bouncy Land for Lizzie's 5th birthday party. Kate's anxiety was palpable despite the constant reassurance from her parents that the party was supposed to be a fun time. Kate had picked out an arts and crafts kit that she thought her classmate would like and was nervously seated in her car seat, wrapped gift on her lap. "You not leavin', right?" Kate asked, wanting another confirmation that her parents would stay throughout the party.

"Yep, all the parents are staying, don't worry," Erin reassured her. She had corresponded via email with Lizzie's mother, who had informed her that many parents were staying for the two hours and that she and Jay were more than welcome to stay. Jay had ribbed her about the domesticity of it all and Erin had rolled her eyes in response. Truthfully, nothing had made her feel more like a mother than scheduling birthday parties and corresponding with other mothers. _Other mothers._ That in and of itself scared the living daylights out of Erin Lindsay, former street kid and daughter to a deadbeat mom, but it also filled her with a joy she never knew was possible.

"Ready, kiddo?" Jay boosted the little girl out of her car seat and handed her the present. Kate nodded nervously, gripping her father's hand tightly.

"What-what if it's bad?" Kate asked.

"Then we can go. It's up to you. If you don't feel comfortable after a few minutes, it's no big deal. But we'd like you to try, okay? And we'll be here the whole time." Erin smiled down at her little girl, "We're so proud of you for trying."

When the family entered the bouncy-castle-filled warehouse, Kate instinctively moved closer to Jay's leg. There were over a dozen children screaming and laughing in the multitude of blow-up structures, including a ball pit, three slides and four bounce-houses. "Wow," Jay mused, "This looks like fun."

"Hi! You must be Kate! I'm Lizzie's mom, thank you so much for coming!" A bubbly blonde woman emerged from the small crowd of observing parents.

"Hi," Kate whispered, still clutching Jay's hand tightly.

"Hey, I'm Jay, Kate's dad," Jay extended his other hand, "Thanks for having us."

"Our pleasure. Call me Cindy," Lizzie's mother smiled. "You must be Erin, Kate's mom."

Erin nodded and shook her hand, "Nice to meet you."

"Okay, well Kate, all the kids are over in the bouncy house. I'll take the present," she took the wrapped gift out of the little girl's hand, "And you all can put your coats in the coat room and join the other kids, sound good?"

All three members of their little family nodded. "Doing okay, baby?" Erin asked as she helped her daughter take off her coat, "Do you want to go play with the other kids?"

Kate shrugged, looking nervously at her classmates, "Are-are you stayin'?"

"Absolutely," Jay promised, "We're going to be with the other adults, okay? Go have fun!"

She nodded and slowly made her way over to the bouce-house where a few children Jay recognized were jumping up and down. "Okay, so far, so good," Erin let out a sigh, "Let's see how she does."

* * *

Cindy introduced Jay and Erin to the other parents, both detectives standing awkwardly amongst the adults who clearly knew each other from drop off. "So, you two both work for the CPD?" Cindy asked, "Wow. You're brave."

Erin and Jay smiled politely. "It's…never boring," Jay said honestly.

"How long have you been working there? Or did you transfer into Chicago? I have to say I don't recall seeing either of you around before Kate joined Hillside, and most of the kids have been going since they were two," Cindy took a sip of the white wine that was brought for the adults, "Are you from the area?"

"Um, yeah, I've lived in Chicago for my whole life," Erin said honestly, "I've been with the department for a few years now."

"And yet you're so young!" Cindy exclaimed, "I have to say, you look amazing. I mean, the police department must keep you in great shape because I know that after having kids my body never looked the same but you look fabulous!"

"Oh, well, thank you, but uh," Erin looked to Jay quickly.

"We're Kate's adoptive parents," Jay interjected, "Found her through work and fell in love. So that's why you haven't seen us around."

"Oh, I had no idea," Cindy gushed, "Wow. How incredible. You are doing so well for being new parents."

Again, Jay and Erin smiled politely, both heaving sighs of relief when Cindy excused herself to go talk to other parents. "Wow," Erin exhaled, "Moms."

" _Nosey_ moms," Jay muttered. He glanced over to where the children were gathered and caught sight of his little girl tentatively bouncing in the large bouncy castle. "Looks like Kate's having fun, at least."

Erin smiled and patted Jay's chest gently. "Babe, this is only the first kid's party we're going to. I have a feeling we're in for many more."

* * *

Kate willingly participated in the birthday party events but refrained from the screaming and cheering. She flashed a smile at her parents as they watched from afar, elated to see their little girl participating in normal childhood activities. She was initially very taken aback by the cake covered in fire, surprised at how the other children in her class clapped their hands at the dessert. Kate visibly shrunk back but ultimately adjusted, realizing that there was nothing to be afraid of.

After cake the party was over, and Kate hurried to her parent's side, relieved to be going home. "We go home now?" she asked quietly, looking up at Erin pleadingly.

"Sure, baby," Erin held out her hand, "Do you want to say thank you and happy birthday to Lizzie?"

Kate nodded and led her mother over to the little girl whose birthday it was. "Happy birthday Lizzie. Thank you for having me."

"Bye!" The little blonde girl wrapped Kate in a tight hug. Kate froze at the contact but managed a smile before waving goodbye.

"Thanks, Cindy, we'll see you at school," Jay said to Lizzie's mother, who was now on her third glass of white wine.

"Goodbye sweetheart," she cooed at Kate, who smiled in return.

* * *

"Did you have fun, Squirt?" Jay asked as he helped Kate into her car seat, "Did you have a good time?"

She nodded slightly and offered a shy smile, "It wasn't like the o-der parties I been to."

"Well, this was a _real_ party," Erin emphasized, igniting the Sierra, "Those other parties were not real parties." She turned to Jay, "You know, we could have a birthday party for you, if you want Kate."

The little girl's eyes went wide, "I got a birthday?"

Jay felt his heart clench in his chest. "Of course, kiddo. Everyone has a birthday."

Kate looked confused, "You got one too? And Mommy?"

"Oh yeah," Jay assured her, "Your birthday is June 19th. And Mommy's is April 11th."

"And Daddy's is May 6th," Erin added.

"And it's the day you were born?" Kate asked, "How do we know I was born on June nine-teemf?"

"Well, there's this document that everyone gets on the day they were born, called a Birth Certificate. And it has the time and date that you were born, along with how much you weighed, how tall you were, where you were born and who your parents are," Jay explained, "It's how we first learned that you were my biological daughter."

"But I get a new one, right? When Mommy 'dopts me?" Kate looked seriously at her father, "Do I get a new birthday too?"

"Well, we're definitely going to celebrate. But your birthday stays the same, because it's the day you were born. So every year, you get one year older," Jay smiled at Erin, who was focused on the road but grinning from ear to ear.

Kate shook her head slightly, "But…you and Mommy weren't there when I was born. So we should cel-brate the day you found me instead. 'Cause both you guys were there. And Grandpa Hank and Uncle Will."

Jay grinned, "You know what, we can absolutely do that. I think it was the happiest day for all of us, don't you think?" Erin hummed in agreement, glancing into the rearview mirror to smile at her little girl.

Kate nodded eagerly, "But we don't gotta have a big party right? I-I didn't like all the yellin'."

"Not to worry, babes. We can do whatever you like," Erin promised, "But for now, what if we head to the grocery store to pick out what we want to make for dinner?"

"And get more bananas?" Kate asked hopefully, smiling sweetly to Jay.

"You bet," he tapped her little feet, earning a delighted giggle, "Sounds like a plan, babe."

* * *

That evening, the little family made homemade tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches before settling in front of the television to watch an episode of Planet Earth. It was a little tradition they had started back when Kate first came into their lives, as she loved to watch the animals and neither Erin nor Jay felt too badly about letting her watch television because it was arguably very educational. "Should we really be encouraging her to watch TV?" Erin hissed over Kate's head as they sat snuggled on the couch, "I mean, doesn't it like, rot your brain or something?"

"Babe, she reads at a fourth grade level. And she's four. I don't think we need to be concerned about her TV consumption. This is like the only thing we ever watch. Remember what Alexa Carlson said? All those other kids in her class were talking about the WonderPets or something and she talked about the migration pattern of North American Geese. I think it's fine." Jay ran a hand over the back of Erin's head as she moved closer to him, "Plus she's almost asleep."

Kate was cuddled up against Erin's chest, still watching the film though her eyes closed for extended periods of time. "Do you want to go to bed, baby?" Erin asked, "You may be more comfortable there."

"I'm most comfortable here," Kate murmured, widening her eyes slightly, "Five minutes?"

Erin smiled, "Of course, my love. You had a busy day, hm?"

Kate nodded tiredly, "I did some jumpin'."

Jay chuckled, "You sure did. It's okay if you want to close your eyes, okay? I know you're sleepy."

"I love you," Kate whispered, settling in closer to Erin and Jay.

"We love you too, sweetheart," Erin kissed the top of Kate's head, "So much."

Jay beamed, overcome with his first memory of telling Kate that he loved her. It had been her third day with them, though he had been thinking it the moment he saw her and Erin sitting on the hospital bed, reading stories. The evening after the first Sunday breakfast at Hank's house followed by feeding the ducks, Jay knew it was time to tell the little girl. As he watched Erin tucking her in that night, the words tumbled from his lips. Kate had widened her eyes in surprise, having never been told that in her life. Erin's eyes had filled with tears as she wished the little girl good night and hurried out of the room.

"What is it Er?" Jay had asked after quietly shutting the door to Kate's bedroom, "Are you okay?"

Erin nodded her head and looked up at her partner with tear-filled eyes, "Is-is it okay if I love her too?"

It had taken all of Jay's strength not to melt into a puddle right then and there, so he simply nodded and pulled his girl close, thankful to have a partner not only out in the field, but a partner in raising such a broken and incredible tiny human.

Later that evening, Kate had an absolutely gut-wrenching nightmare that had her shivering in the closet for close to an hour. While Jay and Erin tried to coax her out, Erin told the little girl that she loved her as well. Again, Kate's eyes went wide, almost as if she didn't understand what it _meant_ to be loved. It was then when Erin explained how she and Jay were always going to be there for the child, and that no matter what, they were going to do everything in their power to love and care for her. It was that statement that finally brought the petrified little girl out of the corner and into their embrace.

Jay pressed a kiss to Erin's head as she dozed against him, soft breath on his neck, both arms around the little girl across their laps. The credits were rolling on the television screen, so he carefully detangled himself from Erin's embrace and lifted Kate into his arms. He carried her to bed and whispered, "I love you," before tucking her under the covers and creeping out the bedroom door.

He couldn't keep the smile off his face when he saw Erin, still dozing slightly against the couch cushions. Effortlessly, he lifted his partner into his arms and headed for their bedroom, settling them both beneath the covers. "Babe?" Erin mumbled, blearily reaching a hand out for her partner.

"Right here," Jay whispered back, pressing a light kiss to her lips, "I love you."

"Love you," Erin murmured, cuddling closer and succumbing to sleep once again.

Jay smiled again, remembering that there was a ring sitting at the bottom of his sock drawer and that soon, Erin Lindsay would be his wife.

* * *

 **I've been loving the requests and reviews - they definitely help keep me inspired as I honestly don't watch PD anymore but little ideas here and there are very helpful, along with positive encouragement (and both help me get chapters up quicker!)**


	46. Chapter 46

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

For Jay, all was right with the world when he was sitting on the couch, Kate on his lap and Erin pressed up against his shoulder. Unfortunately, the last two weeks in February not only brought a brutal Chicago wind, but a large uptick in heroin overdoses linked to a crew on the South Side. There were also a half dozen homicides left unsolved and three assaults, all believed to be the work of a group of six men and one woman.

Intelligence has been working long hours and even on the weekends to try and catch these guys, as the order had come from the highest level. Jay had been hoping for a weekend for the family to escape to Wisconsin and get out of the city, but there was no such luck. He was just waiting for the right time to ask Erin to marry him and had contemplated just carrying the ring around with him, but ultimately decided that it would be safest in his sock drawer until he found the right moment.

He had also thought about telling Kate that he was planning on proposing to Erin, but given the little girl's skepticism on lying to anyone, he figured it would better to air on the side of caution. And so, his mother's ring lay buried in a pair of the ugliest brown socks he owned, knowing full well that his girl wouldn't think to touch them.

"Jay, man, I can take Kate for the day. It's really not a problem. Nat was going to take Owen to the children's museum and I know Kate loves that place, so-"

"So you want to take my kid for the day so you have an excuse to hang with the woman who 'isn't' your girlfriend?" Jay joked, taking the cup of coffee that his brother had extended to him. His brother liked to stop by the district now and again to check in on his little brother, but mostly to see Kate, who absolutely adored her Uncle Will.

"I'm just trying to make sure my niece isn't cooped up in the police station while her parents are out solving crimes," Will bit back, "Seriously, man, it's a Saturday. I bet she would much rather be playing with that giant static machine at the Children's Museum that makes your hair stand on end than read a book on it."

"You're right, you're right," Jay clapped a hand on Will's back, "It would be good to get her out of here. And I'm sure Erin would be on board. Plus Voight is about to boil over because we haven't caught the guys yet, and I don't want Kate to bear witness to that."

"Trouble with the in-laws?" Will ribbed, receiving a swift punch to the shoulder, "Ow, okay, I guess you haven't popped the question yet?"

"Shh, man, keep your voice down. And no, I haven't. I've been waiting for the right time. We've been insanely busy with this heroin ring, so just shh, okay?" Jay gave his brother a pointed look.

"Okay, okay," Will raised his hands in the air, "So, where's my niece at?"

"Erin took her to go get bagels since we left so early this morning, we didn't have time for breakfast," he gestured to the steps, "But I think I hear some little feet."

"Uncle Will!" Kate exclaimed, catching sight of her uncle standing in the middle of the bullpen, "You here!"

"I am here," Will scooped the little girl up and placed her on his hip, "How is my absolute favorite monkey, hm?"

"I'm good," Kate giggled, looking over at her mother, "Me and Mommy got bagels, 'cause they got a real busy day today."

"I heard," Will mused, offering a smile to Erin, "Hey, Er."

"Hey, Will," she smiled tiredly, passing the bag of bagels to Jay, "You're not in the ED today?"

"Got off a 48 hour shift late last night, got in a quick nap, and was _thinking_ that this monkey here would like to join Nat, Owen and me for a trip to the Children's Museum." He winked at Erin, who nodded at Jay.

"Wow, what a great idea. Doesn't that sound like fun, baby?"

"I get to go to the museum with you and Dr. Manning and Owen?" Kate asked excitedly, "Really?"

"Yeah, your folks have a busy day ahead of them, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun of our own, right?" Will asked, eyes twinkling, "You want to come?"

"Yes!" Kate nodded eagerly, "Is…is it okay Daddy?"

"Of course, kiddo," Jay nodded, taking a bite out of the bagel, "But can you have a few bites of bagel before you go with Will? I don't want you to be hungry."

"I already eated a bagel in the car," Kate informed him, "Mommy shared with me, we got _veggie_ cream cheese."

Erin nodded in confirmation, "Okay, baby, have a fun time. Daddy and I are going to be busy today, so we might not be here when you get back but Sergeant Platt is downstairs and we'll be back later."

Kate nodded, fully accustomed to her parent's busy schedule, "But you both gonna come back, right?"

"You bet," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, "And you and Uncle Will are going to have a great time."

* * *

Ultimately, the hard work that Intelligence put in paid off, as within the following six hours, all of the offenders were either dead or in custody. Will had taken Erin's car so that Kate could sit safely in her carseat on their journey to the Children's Museum, so he offered to bring Kate home after the trip and get her sorted with dinner and bedtime.

"Your brother was a godsend today," Erin mused as they stepped of the elevator, "I mean, we weren't at the district for a half hour today. And Platt was so busy, Kate would have been by herself the entire day."

"I know," Jay inserted his key into the lock and pushed open the door, "He said they spent four hours at the museum, so she's going to be absolutely exhausted."

The couple glanced around their apartment after stepping over the threshold, realizing that the place did _not_ look right. Immediately, both Jay and Erin drew their weapons after sharing a panicked glance. All the cushions had been removed from the couch, and the round coffee table was missing. "Were we _robbed?_ " Jay hissed, clearing their master bedroom, noting that the closet which normally stored all of Erin's pillows was empty, "Where the hell are they?"

"Here, babe," Erin whispered, lowering her weapon after peeking into Kate's bedroom. Will and Kate were fast asleep under an extravagant fort, constructed with sheets, couch cushions and blankets. The fort covered nearly half of Kate's bedroom and was supported by the breakfast stools and padded with a multitude of pillows. They had clearly been working through a story, as a small pile of books were beside them, along with one resting in Will's lap as he dozed against a couch cushion. Kate was snuggled up to him, wrapped in her comforter, absolutely passed out.

"Will got to make a _fort_?" Jay hissed, his tone on the verge of a whine. Erin looked at her partner and raised her eyebrows.

"Are you jealous of your big brother, Jay?" she teased, "You seem a little grumpy."

"I'm not _grumpy_ ," Jay huffed, "But I would like to have made a fort with my family instead of spending the day at the district."

"I know," Erin patted his chest lightly, "But we got a bunch of heroin off the street and 6 heavy hitters. And we have tomorrow off, _and_ Kate had a great day."

"You're right," Jay turned and pressed kiss lightly on Erin's nose, "Plus I got to spend the day with you, which wasn't half bad."

"Ugh, get a _room_ ," Will grunted, cracking his eyes open.

"Fell asleep on the job, huh?" Jay quipped, "Quite the set up you guys got going in here."

"It was the best way to convince her that we should go to bed," Will yawned, "She was kinda freaking out that you guys weren't coming home, but I said we could do a fort and after we finished, you'd be back. And it worked."

"Mm," Erin smiled, "Thanks for spending the day with her. Was everything okay?"

Will nodded, "Kate and Owen got along really well, and they both seemed to have a good time at the museum. Took her for burgers and ice cream afterwards, probably why it took so long to get her to sleep," he smiled up at his younger brother, "But she's great. Really smart. Definitely didn't get it from you, Jay."

"Don't I know it," Jay replied dryly, "But really, thanks man. It means a lot."

"Anytime little brother," Will carefully extracted himself from the fort, accidentally rousing Kate in the process. He grimaced when she stirred, offering an apologetic look to the exhausted parents.

"Uncle Will?" Kate mumbled, "Where you goin'?"

"Home kiddo. Your folks are back." He gestured to Erin and Jay who were standing in Kate's doorframe, "Told you they'd be home soon."

"Mommy, Daddy," Kate smiled tiredly, untangling herself from the blankets and wrapping her little arms around Jay's neck, "I'm glad you're home."

"Us too, baby. Did you have fun with Uncle Will?" Erin stroked Kate's mussed hair, smiling up at her little girl while she snuggled against her partner.

"Uh-huh, so much fun," Kate told them, "Uncle Will and Doctor Manning _kissed_."

"Did they now?" Jay raised his eyebrows at his brother, who turned red in the face, "Interesting."

"Alrighty, I'm out," Will said, "I'll see you soon, monkey. Thanks for hanging out with me today."

"Bye Uncle Will," Kate extended her arms for a hug. The young doctor held his niece tightly, "Thank you for a fun day."

"You are very welcome." Will gently kissed the top of her head, "Sleep tight, okay? Bye Erin, Jay."

"Thanks Will," Erin waved as he headed out of the apartment. "Tired, baby?"

"Uh-huh," Kate yawned, "Did you get the bad guys?"

"We did," Jay confirmed, "We tracked down all their bad stuff too, so we can have a nice break tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"Good," she murmured, already drifting back to sleep, "I love you guys."

* * *

"Well, that one wrapped up nicely," Ruzek mentioned, pulling his coat from the back of his chair, "Halstead, Lindsay, care to join Kev and I down at Molly's for a drink?"

"Kate's waiting for us downstairs," Jay told him, "Maybe another time?"

"Ugh!" Ruzek groaned in exasperation, "I swear, the two of you became parents and you're no fun anymore. You guys haven't been to Molly's in _ages_."

"I was there last week," Erin said, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah, no offense Linds, but you're not _Jay,_ " Ruzek grunted, "And the whole unit hasn't been there in even longer."

"Sorry buddy," Jay grabbed his coat and held Erin's out to her, "Can't keep the kid waiting."

"You can go if you want babe," Erin said as she followed her partner down the steps, "I mean, you haven't been to Molly's in a while. Kim and I were there last week, you should go."

"I'd rather head home with my girls," Jay replied honestly, "Pick up some Indian, read a few stories, maybe have sex with my girlfriend…"

"Ha, ha," Erin exited through the metal door, "We'll see if you get lucky tonight, Halstead."

"Daddy! Mommy!" Kate hurried around the front desk where she was seated with Platt and rushed to hug her parents, "We goin' home?"

"Yes, we are baby," Erin tucked some of Kate's hair behind her ears, "How did the reading go?"

"Good," Kate nodded, "Me and Sergeant Platt read a book 'bout firefighters, 'cause Mouch is one of those guys."

"He is. So is Herrmann and Casey and Severide," Erin said, rolling her eyes when Jay visibly tensed at the mention of Erin's former beau, "Maybe some time we could go take a tour of 51 so you could see what they do."

"Yeah!" Kate grinned enthusiastically, "Do they got a firehouse doggy?"

"I'm not sure," Jay furrowed his brow in thought, "We'll have to ask."

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a Detective Jay Halstead," A woman entered the district and approached the front desk, speaking directly to Platt.

"Right there," she pointed her thumb in Jay's direction.

"Detective Halstead?" The woman said, extending a hand. Kate looked up at the woman, confused. She quickly stood closer to Erin while Jay shook her hand.

"Yes, I'm Jay Halstead. Can I help you?" he asked, quickly sizing the woman up. He did not recognize her from anywhere, but she wore a look that conveyed severity.

"My name is Danielle Marcus, I work with the Department of Children and Family Services. I am here to speak with you and Detective Erin Lindsay regarding your adoption application for Katherine Halstead."

Jay widened his eyes and glanced at Erin quickly. "Kiddo, can you hang with Sergeant Platt for a few minutes while Mommy and I talk to this lady?"

Kate nodded, slowly releasing Erin's jeans from her tiny fists and circling around back to Platt. The seasoned Sergeant lifted her up and set her on the desk, smiling encouragingly at her two detectives. "We'll be just fine."

"Is everything okay?" Jay asked after Erin led them to the empty office across from Platt's desk. He leaned against the empty table in anticipation, a pit forming in his stomach as Erin tensely stood beside him.

"I wish I was here under better circumstances," Marcus said honestly, "But I am here because the state been made aware of some serious concerns regarding Katherine's health, and I will need to remove her from your care."

"What? You've got to be kidding," Jay gasped, running a hand over his face in disbelief as he regarded the serious expression of the woman in front of him, "And her name is Kate. And _Kate_ is my daughter. _Our_ daughter." Erin stood stoically beside her partner, unable to form words as she glared at the woman in front of her.

"While that may be the case, in reviewing Detective Lindsay's application for adoption, we encountered many red flags regarding the child's health. The state believes it is in the interest of the child to remove her from your care until a thorough investigation can be completed."

"Absolutely not," Jay sputtered, folding his arms across his chest, "You-you can't just take her away from us. I'm sure you've read her file, you know what she's been through."

"Kate's medical history is precisely the reason the state needs to investigate your relationship further, Detective," Danielle Marcus said firmly, "Since the child has been in your care, she has been in the hospital multiple times. One of our social workers noted that she had scars across her back when the state was made aware that you had been listed as a missing person. We need to interview Kate, both of you, as well as other people that are involved in Kate's life."

"So I won't file for adoption," Erin blurted out, "Will that make all of this go away?"

"Er-" Jay tried, but she held up her hand.

"Clearly something was popped on my application because we have been doing everything right by that little girl. We're going to therapy, she's gaining weight and growing finally, she's _happy_. So what is it? Is it the fact that we both work? Because hundreds of thousands of families have two working parents and-"

"The investigation is surrounding Detective Halstead," Marcus stated, "Following the incident where you were listed as a missing person, the state feels it is in the child's best interest to remove her from a potentially dangerous situation."

"What?" Erin exploded, "We removed Kate from a dangerous situation, where she was being sexually and physically abused, and the state had no idea she even existed. We have done nothing but care for her since we found her, and now you think we're the ones abusing her?"

"I would never hurt my daughter," Jay hissed through gritted teeth, "Never."

"I understand your frustration, Detective Halstead, but our interest is in the health of this child. And from our vantage point, there are some glaring issues that need to be addressed." Marcus handed him a sheet of paper, "This is the court order releasing Kate into our custody."

"Now?" Jay widened his eyes, "You're taking away our little girl, right now?"

"Yes," Danielle Marcus confirmed, "We will be taking Kate for an interview, medical examination and psychiatric evaluation. My office will be in touch with you in the coming weeks regarding next steps."

"Coming weeks?" Erin shook her head adamantly, "No, that's not happening. She's been abused. Traumatized. If you take her away from us, you're doing more harm than good. Having her with us is what is best for her."

"With all due respect, Detective, I'm not sure you or your partner know what's best for this child." Marcus glanced over the two detectives to see Platt talking to the nervous little girl, who kept looking into the office, trying to understand what was going on. "Tomorrow, you will need to meet us at the Department of Children and Family Services and will meet with Kate's social worker. Someone will also be by your home in the next few days to evaluate it, as well as Kate's school."

"Susan Perkins was Kate's social worker back when we found her," Jay glanced up from the sheet that had been handed to him, "Can we speak with her?"

"Unfortunately, Ms Perkins relocated to Portland with her family, but we will be using her initial evaluation as a reference." Danielle Marcus glanced down at her watch. "You will hear from me tomorrow morning with an update from the foster family that Kate will be staying with tonight."

"Foster family?" Erin shook her head, "She's- she's not going to a foster family. She's scared of men. New people," She looked up at Jay, who was glaring at the woman in front of him, "Please, just let us take her tonight. We can clear this all up tomorrow."

"It's just a misunderstanding," Jay emphasized, "Kate getting hurt was caused by what happened to her before we found her, not by us abusing her or anything like that. Ask anyone who knows us, we _love_ her. She barely sleeps through the night as it is, you're only causing her more pain."

"I'm very sorry, detectives," Marcus shook her head, "But this is protocol. Until we can confirm that this child is in a safe environment, we cannot release her into your care. I need to take her, right now."

Erin put a hand over her face as Danielle Marcus pushed past the bewildered detectives to speak with the little girl. "Hi Kate, my name is Danielle, and you're going to come with me, okay?"

Kate looked up at the woman and over to her parents who were standing behind the stranger, both appearing close to tears. "Mommy? Daddy?" Kate whispered, turning to look at Sergeant Platt.

"This has got to be some kind of mistake," Platt stated, "Halstead and Lindsay are excellent parents. You don't need to take this little girl away from them."

"I do," Marcus replied, reaching a hand out to Kate, "You need to come with me, honey. It's going to be okay."

Kate shook her head, rushing around the woman and clinging to Jay's leg, "I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go," she whimpered, burying her face in her father's jeans, "Please, Daddy, please."

"I know, kiddo," Jay choked out, unable to keep his stoic composure when his little girl was in distress, "I know. We're going to sort everything out soon, okay?"

"You can't let her take me," Kate burst into tears, tiny frame wracked with sobs as Erin stood silently beside her partner and sweet daughter, tears trickling down her cheeks. "I need you, I need you, you're my parents."

"I'm so sorry, baby," Erin managed, running a hand over the little girl's head, "I don't know why this is happening, but Daddy and I are going to bring you back, okay?"

"You said nobody was gonna take me away!" Kate wailed, "You said I could stay!"

Erin wiped her eyes and looked to her partner, who was staring at the top of his baby girl's head, trying to suppress the urge to pick her up, hold tight and never let go. "We just want to make sure you're safe, that's all," Marcus assured the little girl, "You'll see your parents again soon."

"I'm not safe?" Kate pulled back from Jay's leg, alarmed. Tears sluiced off her cheeks as she looked up at her father, "Are-are the bad guys gonna get me?"

"Oh, no, Squirt," Jay insisted, "You're perfectly safe. We just-"

"You don't want me no more?" Kate whispered, backing away from her parents. She covered her face with her hands, shrinking into herself.

"Not at all, Kate," Erin rushed forward and lifted the little girl into her arms. "We want you to be with us more than anything. This is just a bump in the road, okay? We love you so much."

Kate burst into tears, burying her face in Erin's neck, "I-I-I don't want no more bumps," she whimpered, "I wanna be with you and Daddy."

Erin looked pleadingly at the DCFS worker, but Danielle Marcus shook her head firmly. "Kate, you need to come with me now, sweetie," the woman reached her arms out for the little girl, "It's going to be okay."

"No," Kate sobbed, holding tight to Erin, "No, no, no."

"I'm sorry," Marcus pulled the little girl from Erin's grasp, "I'm sorry, honey, but this is for your own good."

"Mommy! Daddy!" Kate shrieked, reaching out desperately to her parents as the woman hauled her away, "No, no, no!"


	47. Chapter 47

**Sorry for the wait - let me know if you like it and peep the note at the end!  
**

* * *

Sleep did not come to either Jay or Erin the night their little girl was wrenched from their grasp by the Department of Children and Family Services. Platt put in calls to everyone she knew down at DCFS, and Hank was pulling strings on the legal side. Steve Khatt, who had recently moved to the private sector, had agreed to help them get their little girl back. "God, I hope she's okay," Jay murmured, filling up Erin's mug with coffee for the third time that morning.

"This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't filed for adoption," Erin muttered bitterly, taking a sip of the piping hot liquid, "How is it that when she was literally being tortured the state had no idea she existed, and that now after the effects of the abuse came to fruition, they think it's our fault?"

"Babe, you heard what Khatt said. The application being filed only gave them an excuse. They would have come either way after I disappeared for two days, okay? Margaret Cunningham or whatever her name was clearly thought something was wrong with me, and she wasn't wrong. But the allegations are not your fault, okay?" He swallowed thickly, "But we're going to fight this, and you're going to be her mom, for good." Jay gripped the countertop tightly, "That is the only thing getting me through this. Please, Er."

She nodded, setting the mug down. "Okay. Okay. We're going to get her back. We're due down at Marcus' office in a bit, hopefully Khatt's call cleared everything up and Kate'll be there waiting for us."

Jay nodded in agreement. "I can't imagine what she's going through right now."

* * *

"Kate, sweetheart, we need you to speak to us, otherwise we can't help you," Betty Klein said calmly, trying to get through to the child in front of her. She had _sobbed_ for five hours after she had been removed from her parent's care, desperately trying to separate herself from the social worker.

The little girl just stared back at the woman with red, swollen eyes from across the kitchen table. She hadn't slept the night before, absolutely terrified about being forcibly taken from her parents. After repeatedly crying out for her Mommy and Daddy, Kate sat in the corner of the bedroom where she was staying. The foster parents had four other children and were accustomed to taking in displaced kids for a night or too. While they seemed nice enough, Kate was incredibly skeptical and refused to talk, eat or sleep.

"She hasn't said a word," Colleen Humphrey, the foster mother, said to Klein, "Won't eat either. And I don't think she slept either. Just sat on the floor."

"Aren't you hungry?" Marcus tried, "I'm sure we could get you something to eat. What about some pretzels or crackers?"

Again, Kate did not respond. She continued to look sadly at the other woman, waiting to hear about her parents. "I know you're scared," Colleen said kindly, "But I'm sure everything will be figured out soon enough, but Ms Klein really needs you to answer a few questions."

"You've got to talk, sweetheart," the social worker sighed in irritation as the little girl remained silent, "I get that you're upset, but we only are here to help you." She forced a soft smile, "You need to answer a few questions."

"I want my law-yer," Kate informed them, her small voice thick with emotion.

Betty Klein and Mrs. Humphrey exchanged surprised glances. "Why do you want a lawyer, honey? You're not in trouble."

"I don't gotta talk until I got a law-yer," Kate insisted, folding her tiny arms across her chest, "I _know_ that."

"Kate, we're not here to get you in trouble. We just want to talk to you a bit about what's been happening with you." Betty Klein's face softened at the little girl's statement, "I know you're nervous, but we're not here to do anything bad. We just have some questions, you won't be in trouble, I promise."

She shook her head, "That's what you say when you wanna get someone to kuh-fess. I _know_ 'cause Mommy and Daddy do it when they know a bad guy is guilty."

"The sooner you tell us about what's been happening, the sooner we can clear everything up," Mrs. Humphrey offered, "We just want to help."

"I can see my mommy and daddy?" Kate narrowed her eyes slightly, "If I talk to you?"

"We'll see," Klein smiled, "We'll see."

"I don't trust you." The little girl brought her arms tighter around her body, "I want my mommy and daddy."

* * *

"How is she?" Jay asked after he and Erin caught sight of Danielle Marcus exiting the elevator at the Department of Children and Family Services. They had been waiting as patiently as they could for their scheduled appointment with social worker, anticipating an update on their little girl and the horrific situation they were dealing with.

"She's fine," Marcus said calmly, "I heard from the social worker who stopped by at the foster home where she's staying, and Kate is in good hands."

"When can we see her?" Erin asked, sitting down in one of the chairs across from Danielle Marcus' desk.

"Soon, hopefully," the woman said honestly, sinking down into the chair behind her desk, "Kate hasn't been answering questions, but that is not uncommon. Someone should be by to evaluate your home either tomorrow or early next week, and-"

"Next week?" Jay managed, "We won't be getting our little girl back until _next week_?"

"You can't be serious," Erin narrowed her eyes, "I _know_ my child, and she can barely make it through the night in her own bed, let alone in a strange house where she doesn't know anybody. She won't sleep, she won't eat and she's going to get sick. You can't do that to her."

"DCFS has been in close contact with Kate's foster parents and believe they have a handle on the situation. They see a lot of kids from a lot of different backgrounds and I have full confidence in their ability to keep Kate safe and healthy."

"I'm sure you've read Kate's file, so you know she was _kidnapped_ from school a few months ago. She doesn't trust anyone. It has taken months for us to get her to fully open up, and this is going to solidify her distrust in everyone. Please, if there is any way for us to see her and get her back as soon as we can, please, tell us." Jay leaned forward on the desk, "Or…or at least send her back with Erin. If it's me you're worried about, I'll go stay somewhere else, I'll leave the state, I'll do whatever it takes, but what you're doing is not fair to my little girl," Jay swallowed thickly, "Please."

"I'm sorry detective, I wish it were that simple. After this conversation, you will both be taken for more formal interviews with my supervisor. Once your home has been evaluated and Kate cooperates, I will be able to provide you with a more concrete timeline."

Erin rested a hand on Jay's back, "Okay, fine. What questions do you have for us?"

"Well first off, have you been coaching your daughter in what to say in the event something of this nature were to happen?"

"What?" Jay exploded, "You think we've been _coaching_ her as to what to say if some from DCFS thinks she's being abused? In any scenario I could ever imagine, having my child be taken from me by the people who are supposed to be the good guys doesn't even come close. So no, Ms. Marcus, we have not been _coaching_ Kate as to what to say in the event she was being interviewed."

"Why?" Erin raised her eyebrows skeptically, "That wasn't a normal question."

Danielle Marcus set down her pen. "Kate is refusing to talk without a lawyer."

Despite the situation, both Erin and Jay burst out laughing, "You're serious?" Jay asked, "My kid's asking for a lawyer?"

"According to her social worker, Kate said that she was told she doesn't have to speak without a lawyer present," Marcus informed them, picking up the pen again and tapping it on the paper she was scrawling on, "Kate refuses to speak."

"It's because she's brilliant. And if a suspect lawyer's up, we can't talk to them. It's how it works, and she probably picked up on it by being around us and being at the district," Erin told her, "It's not like we told her to say that."

"She's also incredibly afraid of lying. Won't keep secrets or anything," Jay said, "We always tell her that she should tell the truth, so whatever she tells you, she's not lying or being coached."

"We have never told her to lie, ever. And she never has. When she had to _testify_ against one of the men who abused her, she was being completely honest. And everything she's ever told us has matched up with her physical injuries." Erin sat back against the chair with a hug, "And she will tell you that we have _never_ laid a hand on her, nor have we done anything to warrant the kind of hell we are enduring now."

* * *

Speaking with Danielle Marcus was both physically and emotionally draining for the detectives. Following their joint interview, both Jay and Erin spoke with a sergeant from the CPD and a senior DCFS caseworker, explaining how Kate came into their lives and what had gone on since then.

Erin felt like her heart had been ripped out and stomped on as she recollected the first few weeks with her baby girl. Kate had been timid and jumpy, barely able to participate in normal childhood activities. She barely spoke above a whisper for the three weeks, constantly in fear that she had done something to anger her new parents. During the interview with the DCFS caseworker, Bryan Atwood, Erin recalled the time that Kate had an accident in bed after a particularly traumatizing nightmare.

 _She had awoken to sharp sobs, audible over the whirr of the air conditioning and fan that they had going in their bedroom. It was an abnormally boiling evening in Chicago, the air thick and humid. Kate had fallen asleep after one story, and Erin and Jay had settled into bed at a reasonable hour for the first night in weeks. Jay was still fast asleep, so Erin quickly shed the sheets and padded over to Kate's room, anticipating that she would find the little girl caught in the depths of a nightmare._

 _Instead, Erin found Kate shaking like a leaf in the corner of her bedroom, knees drawn to her chest. In the moonlight, Erin could tell that the child's pajamas were soaked and she was traumatized, sobs wracking her small frame as she attempted to make herself small. "It's okay, sweetheart," Erin had cooed, "You just had an accident. No big deal."_

 _"I-I-I I'm sorry," Kate sobbed, knobby knees obscuring her face, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't hit me, I'm sorry."_

 _"I won't hit you, I'm not angry, I promise," Erin sank to her knees in front of the little girl, "I promise you Kate, I'm not upset. It was an accident."_

 _"I'm not 'lowed to have ax-dents," Kate whimpered, face still buried in her knees, "It's bad to do it, p-please don't hit me."_

 _"Oh, baby," Erin gently rested a hand on the child's thin shoulder, "It's alright. Let's get you cleaned up and then you can come spend the night with Jay and I, how about that?"_

 _"I-I don't gotta get hit?" Kate lifted her head slightly, revealing swollen and red eyes, "I don't gotta get punished?"_

 _"Not at all," Erin shook her head, willing the tears that were threatening to form to abate, "We're just going to get you out of those pajamas, hop in the shower for a second to get you nice and cool, and get right back to bed, okay?"_

 _"I'm sorry," Kate whimpered as Erin helped her remove the damp pajamas, "I'm sorry, Erin, I'm sorry."_

 _"These things happen," Erin assured her, "It is not a big deal at all. I promise, I am not angry at all, okay?"_

 _Kate had allowed Erin to rinse her with the removable showerhead in the tub so that she wouldn't have to shower by herself. After Erin wrapped her up in one of Kate's new fluffy pink towels, the little girl crumbled against her, body once again trembling in sobs. "Oh, baby, what is it?" Erin asked, threading her fingers though Kate's hair, "Are you scared?"_

 _"You-you didn't yell," Kate managed, lifting her head slightly to meet Erin's gaze, "I-I-I had an ax-dent and you didn't yell or h-hit me."_

 _Erin held the little girl closer, "Kate, baby, I am so sorry that those horrible people did that to you. It wasn't your fault. We all have bad dreams sometimes. It wasn't your fault," Erin repeated, "And I would never be angry at you for something that wasn't your fault."_

 _"J-Jay wouldn't be mad, neither?" Kate whispered, "Cause I-I don't want him to be mad e-der."_

 _"Oh no, sweetheart, not at all. In fact, if it's alright with you, we can both spend the night in my and Jay's bed?" Erin continued to stroke the little girl's hair while she contemplated the option of spending another night with Jay and Erin._

 _"Even though I was bad and had an ax-dent?" Kate whimpered, "I can still be with you?"_

 _"Absolutely," Erin nodded, placing a pair of dry pajamas over the child's head, "No matter what, you can always come to Jay or I okay? We want you to feel safe."_

 _"Okay," Kate exhaled, wrapping her thin arms around Erin's neck, "Thank you for not hittin'."_

 _"Oh, my love, you don't need to thank me. I would never hit you, okay? I need you to know that. Jay and I would never, ever do anything to hurt you, I promise." Erin swallowed thickly, "We love you."_

 _"I know," Kate murmured, relaxing as Erin carried her toward the master bedroom, "It means I safe."_

Similarly, while Erin was being interviewed by DCFS, Jay was talking to a sergeant from the CPD, understanding the allegations of child abuse. "This is crazy," Jay sputtered, "I have never, _ever_ hurt my child. And I never would. I have spent the last eight months trying to make up for the fact that I didn't know she existed for four years. We have loved her and cared for her and it breaks my heart that she had to go through what she did." He took a deep breath, trying to get his rapid heart rate under control, "Please, you've made some kind of mistake."

"Detective Halstead, why were you listed as a missing person last month?" The young sergeant, probably a few years older than Jay, peered up from his notepad and regarded the detective seriously. When Jay didn't immediately reply, the sergeant set down his pen. "Detective Halstead."

"I uh, had a bad night. We had a really tough and emotional day and I hadn't been properly taking care of myself. I woke up from a nightmare in Ohio, on the couch of my best friend. He-he had been over there with me, saw the same shit I did, and was arguably more fucked up. And I had been dealing with it, I'd gone to meetings and stuff but uh, with Kate, I felt like I couldn't leave. I felt too guilty. So I let it slip. And it came back and I didn't know where I was or what was happening. And two days passed, I had left my phone in the apartment so I couldn't call Erin and she was freaking out and that's why a missing persons report was filed. Mouse, uh, Greg, he brought me back. And I made him take me right to the hospital because I thought I was crazy, but I have PTSD. But I've been dealing with it better, this time. I go to meetings once a week, I see a therapist once, sometimes twice a week. I'm working on it, I really am. But I would _never_ hurt my child."

"Detective, the DCFS agent who responded the missing persons report noted scars on Kate's back which is what prompted this investigation. According to the story you just told me, you have experienced extensive periods of blackouts without recollection of what occurred during those times. Can you tell me, with certainty, that you never hurt your child? Maybe it was an accident, maybe you were still asleep, maybe you didn't even realize you-"

"No!" Jay jumped up from his seat and dragged his palms across his face, "No, no, I would _never_ hurt her-"

"You may not have meant to," the sergeant replied, "But like you said, you woke up in Ohio. You could have harmed your daughter without even waking up."

He shook his head, "No, no, she-she would have told me. Or I would have woken up before I ever hurt her, but no, no, that is not a possibility."

 _"J-Jay?" Kate's small voice was barely audible as Jay dozed in front of the television, having fallen asleep while watching a documentary on watchmaking. It had been a gruesome day on the job, five young children killed by their sociopathic uncle. When he and Erin finally made it back to the district, Kate was already asleep after Platt had given her dinner. He had wanted nothing more than to hold his little girl close and be thankful that she was alive, but they had only known each other for a few weeks, and he didn't want to frighten the child._

 _"Hey, Squirt," he greeted warmly, widening his eyes and turning to face the little voice, "Are you alright? Did you have a bad dream?"_

 _Kate nodded slowly, taking a cautious step toward the sofa, "Are-are you okay?"_

 _"Sure, why?" he cocked his head to one side, blue eyes meeting the troubled hazel orbs of his baby girl._

 _"You-you were yellin'. While you were sleepin'." Kate's voice trembled slightly as she spoke, "I-I was gonna wake you up, but you were moving." She met his gaze again, "You-you get nightmares too?"_

 _Jay swallowed, having not realized that the poor child had witnessed one of his PTSD induced nightmares. The past few months with Erin, Jay had been feeling better. Solid. But some days still got to him and he would wake up thinking he was back in the desert under siege. "I do, you're right," he nodded, reaching a hand out to his little girl, "I'm sorry if I woke you up and I'm sorry if I scared you."_

 _"I was already 'wake," Kate murmured, taking another step toward her father, "I had a nightmare too."_

 _"Do you want to tell me about it?" Jay asked, helping Kate get settled on the couch next to him, "It might make you feel better?"_

 _The little girl shook her head solemnly but glanced up at Jay, "You wanna tell me 'bout yours?"_

 _He smiled slightly and kissed the top of her head softly. "Well, I don't want to scare you or anything."_

 _"You won't," Kate said seriously, "I only get scared 'bout bad memories."_

 _Jay drew in a breath sharply, "Me too, kiddo." He paused, trying to figure out the best way to tell his four year old about his experience in the military. After a while, the story poured out of him, all the heat, his friends, the loss, the pain, the return home. Kate listened intently and didn't doze off once, captivated by her father's story._

 _"Are-are you worried they gonna take you back?" Kate asked quietly after Jay had told most of his story, save for the truly inappropriate and gruesome facts._

 _Jay shook his head, "I'm more afraid of…I guess I don't really know what I'm afraid of. It just hurts to remember a lot of what happened. And when I sleep, sometimes it all comes rushing back."_

 _Kate nodded in understanding, "It makes me not wanna sleep, when I think 'bout 'memberin' things."_

 _Jay kissed her head again and held the child closer, "Mm. How about you and I watch this really cool documentary on watch-making and see if that doesn't tire us out? I'll be right here with you, if that's alright."_

 _Kate smiled up at her father, "Thank you, Jay."_

* * *

 **I have not been watching PD at all and have been lacking in the inspiration department, so if you have any advice or requests, I would love to hear them.**

 **To be completely honest, finding motivation given the direction of the show itself has made this harder to write...I had this part of the story planned in order to explore more of Jay's guilt and personal struggles, but am not totally in love with how it's turning out.**

 **That being said, I do have ~a few~ hopefully happier moments planned, so if you are still reading, I thank you for your support and patience. Let me know your thoughts.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Never fear, things will start looking up shortly! Feel free to leave a review :)  
**

* * *

"Detective Lindsay, you and Detective Halstead both work under Hank Voight in Intelligence, correct?"

"Yes," Erin said, hands folded tightly in her lap as Brian Atwood asked her questions. She had been moved to a separate interview room following the conversations with Danielle Marcus. Atwood scrawled a few notes down on his legal pad before glancing up at the nervous detective.

"And I take it you and Voight are very close? I see in your file that you lived with him when you were a teenager."

"Yeah, um, he and his wife took me in when I was fifteen. I uh, had it rough growing up. He looked out for me." Erin glanced down, trying to discern what the man continued to scribble on the paper.

"Was this before or after your citation for solicitation and drug possession?" Atwood asked pointedly, "Were you living with the Voights then?"

Erin widened her eyes in surprise, "No, that, that was before."

"Mm, and your mother, Barbara Fletcher? Are you still in contact with her?"

"No," Erin said quickly, "I have spent much of my adult life trying to distance myself from her. We do not speak."

"Well, you certainly come from a family of trouble. She's been in and out of jail, rehab, the whole nine yards. Do you do use drugs, Ms Lindsay?"

"No!" Erin exclaimed, "No, I do not."

"Smoke?"

"No?"

"Drink?"

"Uh, I drink beer and I have whiskey on occasion, but I don't go out and get hammered, if that's what you're asking."

"Does Detective Halstead use drugs?"

"No!" Erin shook her head adamantly, "And he doesn't smoke, nor do we go out very often. Mr. Atwood, we have a four year old and we work in an elite unit. We would rather spend time with our daughter than do any of the things you are mentioning."

"Hm," Atwood raised his eyebrows, "You were on medical leave a few weeks back, due to a concussion. How was that concussion sustained?"

"A man broke into our house," Erin said through gritted teeth, "And whacked me over the head with the butt of his gun."

"And where Kate Halstead at the time of this incident?"

"With my _partner_ ," Erin informed him, "I had gone to the grocery store to get some more fruit and cereal, and Jay brought Kate home ten minutes later."

"What if she had come home with you?" Atwood asked, "What would have happened to her?"

Erin was quiet. She hated thinking about the moment when Jackson broke into their apartment and bashed her over the head, but hated even more to think about what could have happened if Kate hadn't gone home with Jay that evening. "I-I don't like to think about that," she said finally, "I don't want to know what could have happened."

"This was the same man who was just convicted for a number of crimes, one of which was abuse of a tender-aged child?" Atwood set his pen down and looked less menacing.

Erin swallowed, "Yes, uh, he was just convicted. He…was abusing her. Beating her. Raping her." She swallowed again, "We found her in his stash house in July. Bloody, bruised, malnourished. _He_ did that to her. He and those other bastards." Erin gripped her hands tighter together, "So I hope he rots."

"As do I," Atwood affirmed. "Now Detective, I recognize that Kate has faced a very turbulent upbringing, and have read through her file repeatedly. Many of the injuries she sustained do match up with what our physician found. Can you tell me about what happened when she was taken from you back in October?"

"We normally drop her off at school together, but uh, Jay had to meet with a CI so it was just me. And I told her we were going to get pizza for dinner. And I went to work, same as always, until Sergeant Platt came upstairs and said that Kate's teacher was on the line, wondering if Jay and I were okay, since I guess the people who took Kate said we were shot," Erin paused, recalling the sheer terror that ripped through her body when she realized that their little girl had been taken.

"We found out she had been taken to New York, and we've worked with a unit out there, so we were in contact with NYPD and they found Kate hiding in the basement of some dingy hotel. Kate said that Jackson and Hannigan twisted her arms and hit her, she-she had a broken wrist and sprained arm," Erin closed her eyes, "And a concussion and bruised ribs. We took her to the doctor when we got back again, just to see, and Jay's brother, who's a surgeon, checked her out too, and we thought everything was fine."

"And then she got sick," tears welled in Erin's eyes, her voice threatening to break, "She got sick and she threw up and we woke up to her vomiting blood. And they said her ribs caused her stomach to tear, aggravated by a stomach ulcer because of all the stress she was under." Erin looked pleadingly at the DCFS caseworker, "Look, we just got her healthy again. She's finally off the medicine, last weekend we took her to another kid's birthday party. Kate's doing normal kid things, not spending the day worrying that some man is going to hurt her. So please, I need to get home, and I need my daughter there with me too."

* * *

Following the interviews, Jay and Erin sat down with Kate's social worker, Betty Klein, the sergeant from the CPD who was Richard Tomlinson, DCFS workers Danielle Marcus and Brian Atwood, Kate's foster mother Colleen Humphrey and former ASA Steve Khatt. According to those in the room, the reason Kate was removed from Erin and Jay was due to a comment by Margaret Cunningham, the woman who had stopped by to take Kate when Jay was listed as a missing person. Following up on the scars on Kate's back, DCFS realized the grave errors they had made in not realizing Kate's situation before she was found.

Since Kate's transition into Jay and Erin's home had been quickly orchestrated by Susan Perkins, the state felt it was necessary to follow up, especially considering what had happened to the little girl while still under police custody. Khatt's explanation of Kate's abduction emphasized that it was not the fault of Erin or Jay, as the criminals that they encountered were highly skilled. "It was the state that dropped the ball with Kate, not us," Jay argued as Marcus explained the situation, "She is being punished for this but literally nothing she did was her fault, but I guarantee you that she thinks _she_ is the one to blame for the situation."

"Ms Klein has emphasized to Kate that the current circumstances are not her fault," Marcus replied, "She has been told that for her safety, she has been removed from Detective Halstead and Lindsay's care, but that we are in the process of evaluating the situation and she hopefully should return home shortly."

"It doesn't change the fact that you _dragged_ her away from us," Erin glared at the woman, "And we have spent _months_ trying to convince her that she is safe. We're worried that all the progress we've made with her has been shot to hell because DCFS screwed up in the first place and had no idea she was being abused."

"Detective, I can assure you that we are doing everything in our power to keep your little girl safe and happy," Colleen Humphrey said, her voice calm and kind despite the situation, "I understand your frustrations and they are completely valid. My husband and I have experience with children in Kate's situation and are more than equipped to handle it."

"Who's with her now?" Jay swallowed, "If you're here, who's with my daughter?"

"My husband," Colleen replied, "We have three biological children and have been fostering another young boy for a few months now. Kate is with them at our home, and I can assure you, she is in good hands."

* * *

Erin and Jay silently sat on their couch, acutely aware that they were missing their little girl between them. They had barely spoken following the marathon of interviews and interrogations, neither willing to voice their concerns and doubts about the system's ability to keep their child safe. Jay had stalked out of the building positively seething, while Erin had reached a level of calmness that in turn made Jay even angrier. "How are you so chill right now?" he snapped, standing up from the couch to fetch a beer from the fridge, "You've barely said a word."

Erin widened her eyes incredulously, "What do you want me to say, Jay?"

"Anything would be better than silence," he scoffed, downing half the bottle in one go, "It's like you're fine with the fact they just ripped Kate away from us."

She stood angrily, "Is that what you think? That I'm okay with this? Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I'm not okay with this, with _any_ of this. But I _know_ how the system works, and berating the social worker isn't going to get Kate back any faster."

"And letting them walk all over us is? They think we're shit parents Erin, that's what happened. And they realized that I have no business being a father because I'm so fucked up and you are the only chance we have at getting her back and you barely said anything." Jay gulped the rest of the bottle, reaching into the fridge for a second.

Erin's features softened as she slowly approached her rapidly-unraveling partner. Carefully, she removed the now half-empty beer bottle from his clenched fingers and sat it on the counter beside the other bottle. She rested a comforting hand on his chest, "Talk to me, babe."

"I'm fucking _livid_ ," he choked out, snatching the bottle up and knocking back its contents, "Because they didn't even know that little girl existed until we found her and now they think _we're_ the problem. That _I'm_ going to hurt her. And-and-and I think they're right."

"Jay." Erin took the empty bottle from his hands again and cupped her face with her cool fingers, "You cannot think like that, okay? And this is not on you." She swallowed the growing lump in her throat, "Today, Atwood brought up the fact that I have priors for solicitation and a history of drug abuse, not to mention an estranged mother who has been in and out of prison and rehab for the past thirty years. You and I both have skeletons but it doesn't mean that we're not what is best for Kate. You know it and I know it."

She moved her hands to run her fingers through Jay's hair, feeling his hot breath exhale in short, angry pants, "I'm angry too Jay. But we need to get her back, even if that means playing by their rules."

He nodded, unable to keep the tears of frustration at bay any longer. Painful sobs ripped through his throat while Erin held him close, running her hands up and down his back, across his arms and over his cheeks, trying to provide as much comfort as possible. "How is this happening?" he managed, tears subsiding slightly, "I just-I don't get how Kate has been through hell and _we've_ been through shit and it's like a never fucking ending cycle of watching my little girl get ripped away."

"I know, I know," Erin soothed, "But she's got both of us in her corner, fighting for her. And we're not letting up, okay? Promise me, we're not letting up."

He nodded weakly, allowing the gentle ministrations of his partner to slow his rapid heart rate.

* * *

"Kate, honey, you really need to eat something," Colleen Humphrey said gently, "I'm concerned that you haven't eaten anything in nearly two days. You're going to make yourself sick sweetie, please."

The little girl stared at the bowl of oatmeal but did not budge. Colleen had even cut up a banana and some strawberries, two of Kate's favorite foods, but the child continued to stare at the bowl like it was empty. The other children in the house were off playing in the playroom, but Kate remained at the table, sullen and sad. "We're not going to force you, sweetie, but you really need to eat. I know you don't want to be sick."

"I just want my mommy and daddy," Kate whispered, tears dripping down her cheeks, "I want to go _home._ "

"I know, honey, I know," Colleen sat beside the frightened little girl, "And I know it's scary. But I spoke with your parents yesterday, and they're working really hard to get you home. It's only going to be a few days longer."

"'s not fair," Kate whimpered, "H-how come I always get taked away by bad people?"

"Oh, sweetie, the Department of Children and Family Services aren't bad people. They were just worried about you and wanted to make sure you were safe. But I think they know that your mom and dad are good people and they're trying to get you home as soon as possible." Colleen smiled kindly, "Can you please have a few bites of banana for me? Just a few?"

"I'm not hungry," Kate murmured, pushing the bowl away, "I don't feel like eatin'."

"Your mom told me that when you get nervous, you don't like to eat," Colleen reached a gentle hand out to Kate, but the little girl immediately put her hands in her lap, "I know you're worried about not getting home, but you need to trust me, okay?"

"When I trust people, I get _hurt._ " She looked up at the kind mother in front of her, still not convinced that this was a person worth trusting. In her short life, Kate had learned very quickly that trusting in people often led to bad and often painful situations. Before she met Erin and Jay, Kate learned from the people Mr. P brought back that trusting in him only led to pain.

Even though she trusted Erin and Jay with her whole heart, Kate was reluctant to trust anyone else. She had been taken away from her parents once before because she trusted the police man who came to her school, and that had backfired terribly. While she hoped that her parents were coming back to get her, she was still worried that maybe they wouldn't.

* * *

"They took my kid away."

Jay sat in the church basement with other veterans on the Sunday evening, still mildly hungover from the night before. Following the beers and marathon breakdown in the kitchen, Erin retreated to the bathroom for a shower before bed. He declined in the invitation to join her, instead choosing to pound the remaining four beers in the six-pack to chase down a couple shots of whiskey. Kate wasn't around to see him a mess, and Erin sure as hell wasn't in a place to judge him as he bitterly recalled one horrific evening after Nadia had died when he spent the night holding her hair back. He slugged back another shot, nearly shattering the glass as he set it down on the counter.

Erin had just stepped out of the shower and was wrapped in a towel when Jay came barreling into the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach. "Babe, babe," Erin had rushed out, tucking the towel under her arm so she could provide comfort, "What just happened?"

Jay just sat back on his heels with a groan, placing his sweaty forehead on the cool white porcelain. Sympathetically, Erin rubbed his shoulders, determined to talk to her partner more when he had a clearer head and empty stomach.

"They think that because I uh, was diagnosed with PTSD, that I'm a risk for my kid. And the worst part about is that they're probably right." Jay exhaled, rubbing his hands together, "My girlfriend um, she's got some stuff in her past too and last night, God, I was a mess. I uh, drank. And I've really been tryin', to you know, be a good dad, get away from the shit I used to do, but last night…I was just so mad. Because they took her away. Because my girlfriend thinks that the system is going to do our kid justice, but I, I don't think that it will. I'm used to getting fucked by the universe, and I think I really fucking deserve this."

"Your kid doesn't though, bro." A gruff voice from across the circle piped up. Jay lifted his head, recognizing that the voice belonged to one of the older guys in the group. He had only seen him a few times, mostly because he only came on Tuesdays and wasn't accustomed to the Sunday evening crowd. "Your kid needs you to fight for her. And I know, I've been there. But gettin' wasted and feelin' shitty ain't the way to get her back. You gotta great girl too, if she has the sense to wait it out."

Jay nodded meekly, processing what the gentleman was saying. "I-I don't think I'm good enough for her. For either of them, really. They, they need someone who isn't going to get drunk or flip out or keep them up at night because-"

"So be that guy," the man said simply, cutting Jay off mid-sentence, "Be the guy your girls need. That's what gonna get your kid back."

* * *

Jay returned to the apartment feeling lighter than he had in days. Kate's social worker was stopping by the apartment Monday morning, giving Jay renewed hope that they would be united with their little girl soon enough.

He unlocked the door and stepped inside, overcome by the scent of disinfectant and other cleaning supplies. "Erin?" he called out, not seeing the familiar brunette head amid the Clorox wipes and Swiffer, "Babe?"

After glancing into the bathroom and noting that it was absolutely spotless, Jay looked into their bedroom. The bed was perfectly made, pillows fluffed and night tables gleaming with polish. He raised his eyebrows in surprise, as his girl was not one to clean. Granted, the social workers were due and he knew Erin wanted to make a good impression, but normally left the cleaning up to him. "Er?" he called out again, heading for Kate's bedroom. The living room was littered with cleaning supplies, some of which Jay had never seen before. Erin must have gone shopping.

He felt his heart crack a bit as he caught sight of his partner, sitting atop his daughter's bed. The bed had been made with fresh sheets, the rumpled pile bound for the washing machine sitting in the corner. Kate's stuffed animals were sitting against her pillows beside an incredibly broken Erin Lindsay. "Babe," Jay breathed, quickly crossing the room to sit beside her, "What's going on?"

Erin shook her head quickly, scooting away from her partner, "I'm sorry, you weren't supposed to see me like this. I, uh, did you just get home? How was it?"

"It was alright," Jay replied, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ears, "You've been crying."

"Uh, yeah," Erin sniffed, running her arm across her face, "I was cleaning because the social workers are coming over tomorrow and I just wanted to make it look good you know, like we're competent parents who keep a clean home but…" she trailed off, gesturing to Kate's bedroom. Jay peered around, not noticing that there was any kind of mess.

"It's clean, Er," he reassured her, "The whole place is sparkling."

"I _know_ ," Erin whimpered, "I…just miss our baby, that's all." She swallowed the lump in her throat, "And I just have this feeling in my gut, you know? That she needs me. And I know I'm not her biological mother but-"

"You're her mother," Jay interrupted, "No matter what, _you_ are Kate's mom. You have a connection with her that nobody else has, Erin, that's why you know that she needs us."

She nodded shakily, "Kate _needs_ us Jay. I-I can't explain it and I know she's needed us the past few days but in the last hour my heart just _aches._ And I know it's Kate."

"Okay," Jay nodded, "I'm going to try to see if Danielle Marcus will answer a call. I mean, I know it's Sunday night but it can't hurt, okay?"

Erin nodded again, running a hand over Tiger's head.

* * *

"Kate?" Betty Klein entered the bedroom where Kate was staying during her time at the Humphrey's. Colleen had explained that Kate had not eaten her dinner and excused herself for bedtime, but the little girl was not beneath the covers when the social worker stopped by for a check-in.

"She was in here a few minutes ago," Colleen said, beginning to panic, "Kate, sweetie, it's okay."

Kate slowly emerged from the closet, appearing pale and shaky in her pajamas. "Kate, are you alright?" Colleen knelt in front of the quivering child, "What's wrong, honey?"

"M-mommy and D-daddy said I gotta tell an adult if I don't feel good," Kate choked out, looking nervously up at the two women.

"You're not feeling well?" Ms Klein knelt beside Colleen Humphrey, "Colleen said that you didn't eat your dinner. Maybe you're hungry?"

Kate shook her head feebly, "I want my Mommy and Daddy."

"I know sweetie, you just gotta hang on for a little while longer," Colleen reached an arm out, "Come on, let's go get something to eat, it might make you feel better."

Tears filled Kate's eyes, large droplets now trickling down her cheeks, "My-my tummy _really_ hurts."

"Probably because you haven't eaten, honey," Ms Klein smiled gently, "I'm sure there's still some food you can have."

"We saved a plate," Colleen said, "Come on, sweetie, let's get some food in you."

Kate shook her head again, sinking down to the floor, "I'm dizzy," she whispered, her voice muffled as she wrapped her arms around her tiny body.

"She hasn't eaten in three days. I think we managed a banana last night, but that's been it," Colleen hissed glancing over at the child, "We can't force feed her. Her mother mentioned that if she doesn't eat, she can hurt her stomach. I think we need to bring her to a doctor."

Betty Klein glanced over at the weak little girl and nodded grimly, "Alright, I'll take her to Northwestern."

* * *

 **Soooooo based on a few suggestions I may start wrapping this up...to be honest I don't have anything in the pipeline for another one but could continue this for a few more if y'all don't mind waiting ~a week in between updates.**


	49. Chapter 49

**A short one but a quick update! Thanks to all who provided reviews and advice/support, I really like to hear what you have to say!  
**

* * *

"Hi, come on in," Erin greeted Brian Atwood at the front door of their apartment, "Um, where's Ms Klein?"

"I'm told she was held up on another case," Atwood said, stepping into the apartment, "Lovely home you have here."

"Thank you," Jay said, accepting the social worker's coat and hanging it on the hook, "We called her last night, but she didn't answer."

"It was Sunday evening, Detective," Atwood replied, glancing around the apartment and making a few notes on the legal pad before gesturing to the floor-to-ceiling windows, "Are those windows locked?"

"They don't open," Erin assured him, "The only ones that open are in the bedrooms. And they only open about six inches."

"Enough for a child to crawl out of them," Atwood raised his eyebrows.

"We have the bars and keep the window locked," Jay supplied, "And we have child locks on the cleaning supplies. But Kate is smart, she doesn't put things in her mouth or eat stuff she's not supposed to."

Atwood nodded, "May I take a look around?"

"Please," Erin waved her hand, "Kate's bedroom is on the right." She turned to her partner as the caseworker made his way around their home, "Where's the other woman?" she hissed to Jay, "She's the one who is supposed to see Kate every day, where is she?"

Jay shrugged, his eyes watching Atwood's every move. "Well, your home appears to be in order," Atwood declared, "We should be in touch in the coming weeks with next steps."

"Weeks?" Erin exclaimed, "We haven't seen our daughter in four days, and you're saying it's going to be _weeks_ before everything is back to normal?"

"Detectives, I give a recommendation. But there are many other components to you getting your daughter back, not to mention a lot of paperwork and other people who need to sign off. I assure you, we are working as fast as we possibly can to reunite your family, but these things take time."

Erin suppressed a grunt but nodded in agreement, standing stiffly with her arms crossed over her chest while Jay put an arm around her shoulders. "Will you be speaking with Ms Klein?" he asked, his question attempting to veil what he was really trying to say, _Are you going to see my little girl today_?

"To be completely honest, I am not sure. You have to understand, we are incredibly busy, most of us juggling multiple cases. I will have her call you as soon as she is able." Atwood offered a smile.

Jay nodded, "Well, um, please let us know if there is anything we can do to expedite this process."

* * *

"Sweetheart, I'm a nurse. I promise you can trust me, okay?" A young woman leaned down to talk to Kate, who was laying on her side in a hospital bed. Betty Klein had brought Kate into the Northwestern urgent care late Sunday evening to be sure that the little girl's intense stomach pains were related to the lack of food she had eaten over the past four days. Unfortunately, they spent the night in the Emergency Room as the child stubbornly refused any assistance.

Kate clutched her aching belly and peered up at the nurse with swollen, red eyes. "I-I want my _Daddy_ and my _Mommy._ "

"I know you do, sweetheart, but it looks like you're not feeling too good, huh? And the doctor and I just want to focus on getting you better, and hopefully then you can see your parents." She smiled kindly, "Can you show me where it hurts?"

"I had surg-rey there," Kate gestured to her stomach gingerly after cautiously unwinding her arms from around her abdomen, "It stopped hurtin' but now it _hurts_." Tears filled her eyes and quickly spilled over, "I really want Mommy and Daddy."

"I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well," the nurse smiled, "My name is Georgia, and the doctor is going to be in soon, okay?"

"C-can you call my Uncle Will? He's a d-doctor," Kate winced, "He can help."

"Does he work here?" Georgia raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"He works with Doctor Manning," Kate whispered, "In the E-merg-cy 'partment at Med."

"Oh," Georgia nodded, "Well, this is Northwestern, so your uncle doesn't work here, but I'm sure you can see him soon." She offered a lame smile and reached out to touch Kate's stomach.

Kate recoiled immediately, shrinking into herself, "C-can you call him? I don't want another doctor."

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but your uncle doesn't work here. But I'm going to help you as best I can. You said your stomach hurt, and I see that you had surgery a few weeks ago." Georgia tried to lift Kate's top, but the child squealed in displeasure.

"No-no thank you," Kate whimpered, "No thank you."

"I promise that I won't hurt you Kate," the nurse reassured her, "I need you to help me help you though, alright? I won't do anything without your permission. I can tell that you're hurting really bad, and I just want to help."

"I-I just want my Mommy," Kate wept, shaking her head slightly, "I want her and I want my Daddy."

"She won't let me near her," the nurse reported to Betty Klein and Colleen Humphrey, "And from the looks of her file, it's for a good reason."

"Is there any update on her parents?" Colleen turned to the social worker, "If I'm being honest, I think it would be best if she could see them. She's so stressed that she hasn't eaten in three days, it's no wonder that her stomach hurts. The poor thing is thin and exhausted, and I don't think she's slept either."

"With all due respect, Mrs. Humphrey, your role as a foster parent is to care for the child, regardless of the status of the family's current situation," Betty Klein said curtly, "But we are in the process of returning the child to her parent's care. DCFS is ensuring all bases are covered in regards to the child's welfare."

"With all due _respect_ , Ms Klein, it doesn't seem like the welfare of this child was at all considered when she was removed from her parent's care," Colleen retorted, glancing worriedly into Kate's hospital room, "It seems like this agency is just trying to make up for the fact that they missed this child's trauma in the first place. But Jay and Erin have done an incredible job with that little girl, and the only problems I can see are what has been caused by taking her away from her loving home. Now, I may not be a social worker, but I am a mother, and so I am _telling_ you that that child needs her parents." Colleen swallowed and gestured to the nurse, "She is literally writhing in pain, but is too afraid of other people to allow anyone to help. She hasn't eaten or slept in nearly four days. Kate has probably been in pain for _days._ "

"I hear your frustration, I really do," Klein's features softened somewhat, "But this is out of my hands for the time being. We need to do everything we can for her right now, and I will see about getting her parents over here."

"They have a right to know that their child is in the hospital," Colleen nodded and turned to the nurse. "Georgia, let's see if I can't convince her to let you help."

"I don't want the bad men," Kate sobbed, quivering in fear as Colleen held her tiny hand. She had eventually agreed to allow Georgia to take a look at her aching stomach, too exhausted from the pain to fight it any longer. However, once it was determined that the doctor would need to take a look at Kate, the child withdrew completely, trying as hard as she possibly could to make herself small in the hospital bed.

"Sweetheart, he's a doctor, he won't hurt you," Colleen tried, giving a pleading look to the nurse, "He just wants to help you, I promise."

"I don't want help," Kate whimpered, weakly crossing her arms over her abdomen, "I just want my mommy and daddy."

"We're working on it, Kate," Betty Klein piped up from the chairs at the side of the room, "We're trying to get your parents here as soon as possible, but we need you to let the doctor take a look at your stomach so that he can help you."

"I-I don't _believe_ you," the little girl managed through clenched teeth, trying hard not to cry out from the pains in her stomach, "I don't _trust_ you."

"Kate, I'm a mommy just like yours, okay? And I promise that we're trying as hard as we can to get your mom and dad down here so they can be with you, but in the meantime, I know they would want you to let the doctor help, okay?" Colleen stroked Kate's shaking fingers, "I know you're scared, but we don't want you to be sick, okay?"

After a moment, Kate unwound her arms from around her belly, still gripping Colleen's hand tightly. "Good girl, just close your eyes, okay? I know you're hurting, but think about how in a few hours, you're going to be back with your mommy and daddy, and you'll be feeling a whole lot better," Colleen soothed, running a hand over Kate's sweaty forehead as she tried to provide comfort as best she could, "Try to take a deep breath."

"It…hurts," Kate wept as the young male doctor issued an apology for gently touching Kate's aching stomach.

"You're being so brave, honey," Colleen praised, casting a _hurry up_ glance to the doctor as the child grew restless, "So brave. And you know what, maybe the doctor can give you something that might make your tummy hurt less, how about that?"

Kate shook her head vehemently, "I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna."

"I'll be right here with you, I promise. Until your parents get here," Colleen promised, nodding slightly at Georgia to start administering the pain medication and IV, "You won't go to sleep right away, but this will help make it hurt less."

"You not gonna let nobody hurt me?" Kate whispered, absolutely spent from fighting the pain for so long, "You…you promise?"

"I promise," Colleen smiled, "And Georgia is going to be here too, and we're going to make sure that you start feeling better soon."

"Okay," Kate nodded tearfully, barely registering that Georgia was going to inject her with a needle. In a rare stroke of luck, the nurse was able to hook Kate up to an IV despite her dehydration, providing her with some much-needed fluids, vitamins and pain medication. Almost instantly, the little girl dozed off, completely exhausted from the pain and anxiety. Colleen sat by the child's side, staying true to her word that she wouldn't let her be alone until her parents arrived.

* * *

Dr. Hansen determined that Kate would need an endoscopy to examine the extent of her injured abdomen. While Kate was sleeping, they quickly put her under anesthesia for the procedure in hopes that they would be able to solve the problem quickly.

"Hello, I'm looking for Detectives Halstead and Lindsay," Betty Klein stood in the lobby of the 21st District, pulling off her leather gloves and looking pointedly at Sergeant Platt.

"In regards to what?" Platt snapped, cranky from the non-stop onslaught of low-level offenders, rookie patrolmen and beaurocratic earache.

"My name is Betty Klein, I'm with DCFS, I have an update on Kate Halstead." Klein offered a smile, but Platt did not return it.

"You're not the woman who dragged that little girl out of my district, screaming and crying for her parents," Platt looked her up and down, "You better be here under better circumstances."

"Sergeant, I am not at liberty to discuss the circumstances I am here under," Klein replied shortly, "If you could please direct me as to where I could find Detectives Halstead and Lindsay, that would be much appreciated."

"Garcia, watch the desk," Platt pointed to the young officer, who quickly nodded and scurried around. Platt gestured for the social worker to follow her up the steps. "Lindsay, Halstead," Platt barked, quickly ascending the steps. Both Jay and Erin's heads snapped up from what they were working on, eyes falling on the caseworker.

"Are you here about Kate?" Jay got to his feet, looking anxiously at the social worker, "Is she alright?"

"Is there somewhere we can speak privately, detectives?" Klein asked, following Erin as she headed for the breakroom. Jay shut the door behind them and folded his arms across his chest, looking expectantly at the woman.

"So?" he asked bluntly, acutely aware of how rigidly Erin was standing, barely breathing as she waited to hear what the woman had to say, "Are we getting her back?"

"I am working with Danielle and Bryan to get the paperwork finished, and we are hoping to officially have Kate back to you by the end of this week," Klein began.

Erin and Jay let out a breath. "We can't get her back any sooner?" Erin asked, noting the glint in the caseworker's eye. She paused, suddenly realizing that something was off, "What aren't you telling us?"

"Your daughter isn't well, Detectives. She hasn't been eating for the past few days-"

"What?" Jay exploded, "She's sick? And you're just telling us this now?"

"Where is she?" Erin demanded, "If she doesn't eat, she could get another ulcer, she's got to be in a massive amount of pain-"

"She's been admitted at the hospital," Klein said calmly, both detectives growing red in the face from anger, "They're taking her in for an endoscopy as we speak and will hopefully have her feeling better shortly."

"We need to see her. Now." Jay gritted out, barely able to keep his cool.

Klein nodded. "I understand, detectives. And due to the extenuating circumstances, the Department of Children and Family Services are allowing you and Detective Lindsay to be with your child before the paperwork is finalized."

"Where is she?" Erin repeated, "What hospital is our daughter at?"

"Northwestern Memorial," the woman responded, "And for what it's worth, I am sorry that this has happened."

Erin and Jay didn't reply, instead swiftly snatching their coats and sprinting for the Sierra, hoping to get to their little girl as quickly as they possibly could.

* * *

"Where is she?" Jay asked breathlessly after arriving at Northwestern, "Is she okay?"

"She's alright," Colleen Humphrey stood from the chair outside Kate's hospital room, "She's a strong little one."

"What happened?" Erin asked, glancing into the room to find the bed empty, "Where's Kate?"

"They took her up for an endoscopy an hour or two ago, but she should be back any minute. She's going to be out for a bit though, but I'm sure when she wakes up she will be thrilled to see you." Colleen smiled kindly, "I can't imagine what you've been going through these past few days."

Jay nodded gingerly, "Uh, thank you. For taking care of her."

"I am truly sorry for everything that has happened to her. We tried everything but she just would not eat," Colleen wrung her hands, "She is such a precious little girl and it is obvious how much you love and care for her."

"She's…been through a lot," Jay confirmed, "It took a really long time to get her to open up to us and still every day…it breaks my heart."

Colleen nodded again, giving Erin's arm a reassuring squeeze, "I know you must be an incredible mother. Your little girl-she um, didn't speak much, but the way she missed you…"

"Thanks," Erin whispered, glancing up at Jay, "Klein said that we're hopefully getting her back this week, but uh, because of the extenuating circumstances, they're letting us see her today."

"Well, any way that I can help you, I am happy to," Colleen said, "Oh! Doctor Hansen, this is Jay Halstead and Erin Lindsay. They're Kate's parents."

"Tough kid you got there," the doctor said after shaking Jay and Erin's hands, "She must have been in absolute agony, but she's going to be just fine. I saw in her chart that she was on a few types of medications that we'll have to put her back on until the stomach heals but there wasn't a need for surgery."

"God," Jay ran a hand over his face, "So she's going to be alright?"

"We'll keep her overnight for observation and to moderate her pain levels, I'm sure as you recall initially it can be quite intense. Her throat may be sore from the endoscopy, but all things considered, she's going to be fine. The nurses will be bringing her up shortly. She's going to be groggy for the next day or so, especially with the pain medication, but hopefully once we switch her to the pills things will even out."

"Thank you," Erin murmured, glancing down the hallway in anticipation. She looked up at Jay, "I think we should call Will, too."

He nodded in agreement and pulled his phone out of his coat pocket, "Good idea. I want him to check her out as well, make sure they didn't miss anything like that time in New York."

Betty Klein walked down the hallway, Bryan Atwood beside her. "How is she doing?" Atwood asked, turning to the doctor, "Bryan Atwood, Department of Children and Family Services."

Dr. Hansen shook his hand, "Good, I was just telling Kate's parents that she should make a full recovery. I'm sure her pediatrician will have more to say in regards to Kate's anxiety and other factors that can play into her sensitive stomach."

"Stress caused this to happen?" Klein asked, "Not because she wasn't eating?"

"Well, I'm sure that not eating doesn't help, but stomach ulcers are typically brought on by stress. And from what Mrs. Humphrey filled me in on, this child, with a history of abuse, was taken from her family? But from what I can see, over the past few months, Kate has been cared for and has shown marked improvement from her initial exams from July." Dr. Hansen turned his head to catch the nurse, Georgia, pushing Kate's hospital bed down the hallway, "And there she is now."

* * *

 **Trying to get the next one up ASAP!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Woah! Chapter 50. Didn't think I would ever get this far! Thanks for all those who have reviewed, messaged and kept me going. The support means a lot and I would love it if y'all kept it up.**

 **I've also got some time off coming up so (fingers crossed!) for more regular updates with some sweet family time.**

* * *

As his little girl was wheeled down the hallway, Jay was overcome with déjà vu, recalling eight months ago to when he first caught sight of the child he didn't know was his emerging from surgery. Back then, Kate had been much thinner, almost like a baby bird, with the most timid and untrusting eyes Jay had ever seen. The child had been restrained due to her intense fear of the doctors around her, having never been able to trust an adult in her short life.

Jay recalled how Erin had quickly soothed Kate, immediately accepting the little girl into her embrace, providing a comfort that she had never known. He had been filled with pride that his girl, his partner, could connect with a victim so quickly. Jay always knew Erin was special and had a way with people, but her ability to get the skittish and traumatized child to trust her amazed him.

This time, Jay felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him when he finally laid eyes on his baby girl. Though it was a far cry from the first time he saw her laying in a hospital bed, he couldn't help but feel like this time, it was entirely his fault.

The nurse who was wheeling Kate down the hallway paused to rouse her patient, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Kate was curled up on her side following the procedure and blearily lifted her head as Georgia whispered, "Look who's here." And while Kate immediately tensed when she opened her eyes, Jay could see her tiny frame relax as soon as she caught sight of her parents.

An exhausted and relieved smile played on her lips as she extended her arms weakly. "Mommy. Daddy," Kate croaked, groggily attempting to turn on her back. In an instant, Erin and Jay were by their little girl's side. Tears streamed down Erin's cheeks as she pressed her face into Kate's messy hair, so overwhelmingly happy to be reunited with her baby.

Time stopped as Jay held his girls close, the constant interruption of the PA system fading into the background, all the noise of the hospital and anxiety hanging in the air slowly dissipating. He released a breath that he had been holding for almost five days as Erin choked back a sob of relief. Jay couldn't find the words to speak, swallowing a wave of tears as Erin reached across their daughter and gripped his hand with quivering fingers, a silent reminder that they were in it together. "Hey there, Squirt," he whispered finally, kissing the top of Kate's head, "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy," she replied slowly, her small voice incredibly strained, reaching out to touch his face that had grown scruffier in the days she had been gone, "You and Mommy…you guys comed back for me."

"Of course, kiddo," he kissed her head again, "We didn't stop thinking about you either."

"A-are you hurting, baby?" Erin asked, words eventually forming in her mouth as she stroked her child's head, unbelievably grateful to have her back, "Do you feel sick?"

"I glad you comed back," she whispered, not answering her mother's questions and placing her tiny hand atop Jay's, "I was worried."

"You don't need to be worried anymore, okay?" Jay leaned down and kissed her little fingers, "But can you tell us if you're not feeling well?"

"I don't wanna sleep," Kate rasped, valiantly attempting to keep her half-mast eyes open wider, "I don't want you to go."

"We're going to be right here with you," Erin promised, continuing to hold her child close as the nurse pushed her down the hall toward the bedroom, "We're going to be here, but we want you to get better, and then we can all go home, together."

"I don't feel nothin'," Kate slurred slightly, giving her mother a slightly crooked smile, "But I feel re-leaf 'cause you 'n Daddy are here."

"We'll get a better read on her pain levels in a few hours," Georgia informed the worried parents, dragging a chair over so that both Jay and Erin could sit beside their little girl, "I'll be back in an hour or so, and Dr. Hansen will be back in a few."

"Thank you," Jay replied quickly, immediately returning his gaze to his daughter who was continuing to fight sleep. "Don't worry, kiddo, we're going to be here when you wake up."

* * *

While Erin and Jay watched over Kate while she slept, Colleen and the DCFS caseworkers excused themselves. Colleen promised to return in a few hours after checking in on her own family, while Atwood left to speak with Danielle Marcus to see about getting the final approval on Kate being officially reunited with her family. "Don't fight it, babe," Erin murmured, reaching over the tiny body in the bed between them to squeeze Jay's arm, "You're about to fall asleep on top of her."

"Mm, I could say the same thing to you," Jay replied, blearily rubbing his eyes, "You want some coffee?"

"I don't want to her to wake up and find one of us gone," Erin said, tucking a few strands of hair behind Kate's ears, "She's been through enough."

Jay nodded in confirmation and stifled a yawn, "God, I missed her."

"She's going to be back on those meds," Erin mused, not taking her eyes of the sleeping child, "And I just _know_ that it's going to take a lot to get her to trust us again. To trust anyone, for that matter."

Again, Jay nodded and tried not to yawn, "I'm just holding out hope that it's easier for her this time."

"And you actually know what you're doing now," Will piped up from the doorway, bearing a tray of coffee. He grinned as the tired detectives looked up at him, "Great to see your family back together."

Jay grunted and took the coffee from the tray, passing the black one to Erin and keeping the one with almond milk for himself, "Thanks, man."

"I ran into her doctor in the hall, turns out he's a guy I went to Med school with," Will gave another smile, "She's going to be okay, guys."

Erin nodded, taking a long sip of coffee. She glanced over at Jay, knowing that she was going to be the one to ask his big brother to take a second look at their daughter, "Can you-?"

"Oh, Hansen said it was totally fine if I took a look at my niece," Will nodded, "I saw her chart and it looks good to me. He did everything right. It seems to me that the healing process will be a bit quicker this time as there was no need for surgery, but you're definitely going to want to keep a close eye on her for the next few weeks."

Jay let out another breath, "Thanks for coming Will."

Will waved his hand flippantly, "Anything for my niece." He smiled at the little girl who had begun to stir. She cracked her eyes open slightly, realizing that she was surrounded by her parents.

"'cle Will?" Kate squeaked out, her throat still raw from the endoscopy.

"Do you need some water, baby?" Erin exchanged her coffee cup for the plastic cup with a straw from the bedside table and held it out to the little girl. Kate took a tentative sip and leaned back against the pillow.

"Hey, Monkey," Will greeted, placing a gentle hand on her blanketed foot, "How are you feeling?"

"'S not your hos-piddle," the little girl mumbled tiredly, rubbing her eyes with one hand, "Like yours better."

"I do too," Will smiled softly, "Are you in pain?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders, "When do I getta go home?"

"I'm not entirely sure, kiddo," the red-headed doctor glanced awkwardly at Jay and Erin, "It depends on what the doctor thinks."

"You're a doctor," Kate looked confused and then saddened, "And I-I don't like it here."

"I know sweetheart," Erin ran a hand over her baby's head, "But we're going to see what Doctor Hansen says."

"I-I-I don't wanna go with nobody else," the little girl whispered tearfully, "I only want _you_." The grimace that played on her lips did not go unnoticed by the adults in the room.

"Does your tummy hurt?" Jay asked gently. He exchanged looks with both Erin and Will, "We need you to tell us, okay?"

Kate winced again, "But-but if I hurt, then I can't go _home._ "

"Kate, baby, it's important that you tell us if you're not feeling well or if you're in pain, that way we can help," Erin brushed a stray tear off Kate's cheek, "I know it's hard being in the hospital, but they're the ones who can make you feel better. It's a good thing, I promise."

The little girl let out a short breath and grimaced, "My tummy hurts," she murmured, "But I don't want you to worry."

"Oh, kiddo," Jay kissed the top of her head, "It's our job to worry about you, alright? You don't need to be worried about us."

"I'm going to grab Hansen, see if he can get her anything for the pain," Will decided, heading out of the hospital room after giving Erin's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

* * *

The doctor was able to give Kate some much-needed pain relief, allowing the little girl to drift back to sleep. "She barely slept these past few days," Colleen informed them, standing beside the doorway, "Every time I would check on her, she would be fighting sleep, sitting up in bed."

Jay nodded, "She, uh, gets really bad nightmares, almost every night. Sometimes the only way is to bring her to sleep in our bedroom," he smiled wistfully, "I mean, we don't do it every night, but it's hard because-"

"It breaks your heart," Colleen nodded in confirmation, "I get it. My husband and I have been through four foster placements in as many years. The little boy we have now, he's been with us for a few months but at the beginning…it was hard. I can't even imagine what Kate has gone through, and what you two have been through for that matter."

"Thank you for um, being there for her," Erin offered a tired smile, "It really means a lot to us that Kate had someone looking out for her."

"It's our job as parents," Colleen replied, "And you have the bravest and most loving little girl there. She's truly remarkable."

"Thank you," Jay echoed, "These past few days couldn't have been easy for you as well."

Colleen nodded, "People always ask Tom and I why we chose to be foster parents, knowing that much of what we would encounter would be heartbreak and pain. But for families like yours, for children like Kate and to see you reunited is really the reason behind it." She took a step into the room, "I was a foster child myself, so I know firsthand how important it is to have people who know the system, but aren't really a part of it, that you can trust."

Later that evening, Danielle Marcus returned to the hospital. Kate, who had woken up from her nap and was feeling much better as a result of being with her parents and the medication, instantly cowered backwards on the bed. "I'm here with good news," Marcus said, forcing a smile, "Detectives, our investigation has been completed. As soon as the doctor signs off, you are free to take Kate home."

Jay and Erin let out a breath. "Thank you," Jay said, gently rubbing Kate's arm that did not contain the IV, "You hear that kiddo?"

"I get to go home? For good?" Kate looked skeptically at the woman and then to her parents, "With Mommy and Daddy?"

"That's right," Marcus confirmed, "Once the doctor says you're well enough to go home, you can. But if it's alright, I'm going to talk to your folks outside for a bit, okay?"

Kate widened her eyes in alarm, "I can wait with you, sweetheart," Colleen offered, Erin and Jay nodding in gratitude, "They'll just be a few minutes."

"You coming back?" Kate whispered, tears filling in her tired eyes.

"Of course," Erin kissed the top of Kate's head, "Daddy and I just need to talk with Ms. Marcus, but we'll be right outside and we're only going to be a few minutes."

"We can stay right outside the door, so that you can still see us," Jay suggested, glancing at the woman who nodded in agreement, "You can see Mommy and I the whole time. We're not going anywhere, we promise."

The little girl nodded slowly as Erin gently brushed the tears off her cheeks, "No big deal, okay?" Erin promised, "We'll be right there." She pointed to the door.

* * *

"So?" Jay asked, folding his arms across his chest as he and Erin stood in front of Danielle Marcus, "What's going on?"

"On behalf of my whole department, I want to apologize," Marcus began, causing both Erin and Jay to raise their eyebrows in surprise. They had _not_ been expecting that. "For one, Kate falling through the cracks in the first place. We do have a lot of children and there are unfortunately those who we are not aware of, but I do believe this process could have been avoided entirely, and for that I am truly sorry."

She took a breath, "We have reason to believe that the individual who came forward about Kate last week is not credible, and we are therefore ending the investigation immediately. What we have found shows that you two are competent, loving parents-"

"I'm sorry," Erin interjected, "Somebody told you that Jay and I were a danger to Kate and that there need to be an investigation?" She glanced at Jay and back to Danielle Marcus, "Who is this person?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," Marcus replied, "But the decision to remove Kate from your care came from a caseworker at a very high level, who was approached by someone who knew of your family but has been found not credible."

Erin glanced into the room at her little girl. Kate was sitting rigidly on the hospital bed with her eyes trained on the window into the hallway where she could see both her parents standing. Colleen was clearly talking to her and though Kate was normally a very attentive child, she was not focused on what the foster mother was saying. Erin looked back at Danielle Marcus, "Was it Barbara Fletcher?"

Danielle Marcus drew in a breath and then nodded grimly. "My mother," Erin gritted out, her vision clouding with anger, "My mother was the person who claimed that we were abusing our child?"

"Er," Jay tried, but Erin held up her hand.

"No, Jay, this is…just like Bunny to pull a stunt like this." She trained her gaze on the social worker, "Does the person who my mother informed know that she spent the entirety of my childhood on drugs? That we hardly ever had water or heat or electricity, let alone a winter coat? That her never-ending parade of abusive boyfriends and husbands…" Erin trailed off, willing herself not to ram her fist into the hospital wall, "She is bitter and jealous that I won't see her. That I won't let Kate anywhere near her." Erin looked up at Jay, "I'm so, so, sorry babe."

"This isn't your fault," Jay said, "Bunny is a mess and is trying to drag you down with her."

"Not today," Erin spat, "Not ever." She looked back to the social worker, "I can assure you that my _mother_ will never come near Kate again."

"I understand that, Detective Lindsay. We know that Kate is in very good hands." She offered a smile, "And we have passed along your adoption application to a judge, so hopefully she will be your daughter, officially."

"Thank you," Jay rubbed Erin's shoulder gently, "Come on babe, Kate is waiting for us."

"I-I can't go back in there now," Erin stuttered, "Not after my mother is the reason we're all in this mess." She looked up at Jay again, tears in her eyes, "The reason Kate is in the hospital is because of _Bunny._ "

"We can deal with that later," Jay told her, "But right now, I know she's waiting for us and I am sure that Colleen will want to head back to her family."

Erin nodded and swallowed, quickly brushing the tears out of her eyes and forcing a smile to reenter the room. Kate instantly relaxed when her parents came back, gingerly lifting her arms for a hug. "Mm, I'm so happy to see you," Erin murmured, pressing her face into Kate's hair, "How are you feeling baby?"

"Missed you," Kate mumbled back, "How come you cryin'?"

Erin took a deep breath, "Because I am just so happy to have you back, my love. And soon, we're going home."

"Tonight even," Doctor Hansen stated, entering the room bearing Kate's chart, "If Kate is able to eat some food, I feel confident that she can get home tonight."

"Home with Mommy and Daddy?" Kate asked, again looking for confirmation that she was headed home with her parents.

"That's right," Colleen smiled, "And sweetheart, that means my job here is done. It was a pleasure getting to know you and I am so happy that you're going back to where you belong."

"Thank you," Kate whispered as the woman patted her hand lightly, "You nice."

Jay chuckled, "Colleen, thank you so much for taking care of her."

"You've got an amazing little girl," Colleen winked at Kate, "Best of luck, Jay, Erin."

"Thanks," Erin ran her fingers through Kate's hair, "I think we're going to be just fine."

* * *

Once Kate ate a few bites of sandwich and was able to keep it down, she was discharged from Northwestern Memorial. As Jay was about to settle Kate into her car seat like normal, the little girl held fast to her father, "No Daddy."

"What's wrong, kiddo?" Jay furrowed his brow, "Do you feel sick?"

Kate shook her head, "I-I-I wanna sit with you and Mommy."

"Oh, sweetheart, one of us has to drive. And it's not safe for you to sit without your car seat," Erin adjusted the hat atop her daughter's head, "But maybe Daddy could sit in the back with you? Maybe hold your hand?"

She nodded timidly, "B-but I can't see you from my seat."

"Hm, well if we move your car seat over to this side, then you can see Mommy driving, how about that?" Jay suggested, "And I'll sit right behind her so you can see me too."

"Okay," Kate breathed, "I just…I don't want you to go."

"Not to worry, baby," Erin re-positioned Kate's car seat on the opposite side of the car before climbing into the driver's seat, "Daddy and I are not going anywhere, okay? And we're almost home."

* * *

 **Yay! Fam's back together...and I think there may be a proposal in the next chapter but you'll have to wait and see!**


	51. Chapter 51

**Happy early Christmas and belated Hanukkah to all that celebrate! I'd love some reviews on this chapter, I think it's one of my favorites. Please enjoy!  
**

* * *

"A-are people going to take me away again?" Kate's tiny voice snapped both Erin and Jay back to the present as Kate and Erin sat together on the couch while Jay put together something for dinner. The little girl hadn't wanted to be separated from either of her parents, needing constant contact to be sure that they weren't going anywhere. Kate's change in demeanor from a few days ago was incredible. She had been a normal little girl but now was back to being nervous and timid.

"We're not going to let that happen, baby," Erin assured her gently, working her fingers through the snarls atop Kate's head, "You're safe here with Daddy and I, alright?"

Kate let out a whimper, causing Erin to halt her movements, "Did I hurt you?" Erin asked, alarmed, "Are you in pain, Kate?"

"Uh-uh," Kate shook her head, tears forming quickly in her eyes and proceeding to trickle down her cheeks, "L-last time you said I was safe and-and they took me away."

Erin glanced up at Jay, unsure of how to proceed. While Kate _was_ safe and had been safe, she was still removed from her parents, which in her mind made her vulnerable and alone. They hadn't yet discussed how they were going to talk about the situation with DCFS, let alone the Bunny of it all. He let out a soft sigh and approached his girls, taking a seat on the coffee table so he could face them. "Did Ms Marcus or Ms Klein ever explain their jobs to you?" Jay asked gently, trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation.

The little girl shook her head again, her eyes now focused on Jay's. "So they work for the Department of Children and Family Services, which is an agency within the government that helps kids and families when things aren't going well," Jay began, "And the reason they came and got you is because they were worried that you were not safe with us. And it's their job to make kids safe, and sometimes that means taking them from their parents and sometimes that means bringing them back."

"I'm not safe with you?" Kate asked, "That's how come I had to leave?"

Erin shook her head quickly, "No, no sweetheart. You are safe here. There was some confusion with DCFS, which is why they didn't think you were safe. But you are, we promise."

"How come they thinked I wasn't?" Kate pressed, looking up at Erin and then over to Jay, "How come they thinked that I wasn't safe with you?"

Jay let out a soft breath, "Do you remember a few weeks ago when you and Mommy couldn't find me?"

"When-when you had a real bad dream?" She looked worriedly at Jay. Erin could feel the child's heart begin to beat faster, so she gently ran her thumb over Kate's arm, trying to convey her safety and that her mother was right with her, "You went to the hospital and-"

"I'm not sick, kiddo," Jay swallowed, "But I do have a lot going on in my head. And the people down at DCFS were worried that maybe during one of my dreams, I could hurt you or Mommy."

"But you wouldn't hurt me," Kate rushed out, "You said that you were never gonna!"

"I know, I know, and I won't," Jay grimaced, realizing that even though his daughter was incredibly smart for her age, the conversation they were trying to have may be above what she could understand. "Kate, I would never hurt you." He paused, "You know that, right?"

Kate nodded and sniffed, "That's what I told Ms Kw-ine when she kept askin' if I got hurt by you and Mommy."

"Right," Erin confirmed, pressing a kiss into Kate's hair, "But because you had been to the hospital a few times, like when you were sick, the department needed to check on you to make sure nothing bad was going on."

"I-I was sick 'cause of when Mr P hit me," Kate stated and her parents nodded in confirmation, "How-how come they didn't know 'bout it?" Suddenly, the little girl froze, "I-I never told anybody that you hurt me." Tears welled in her eyes again, "I wouldn't lie!"

"Oh, we know, it wasn't anything you did, sweetheart," Erin gently began rocking back and forth to sooth the distraught child. "But it's their job to check in on kids and there were a lot of things that happened that made them think something was wrong here, which is why they had to check it out."

"But why would they take me away?" Kate whimpered tearfully, "How come I had to leave?" Erin brushed the tears off her daughter's cheeks but they were quickly replaced, "I was so w-worried."

"I'm so sorry," Jay said softly, resting a hand on Erin's knee, "We know how worried you were. And I know it was hard, but now everything is going to be okay."

"You're not going anywhere sweetheart," Erin whispered, kissing Kate's hair again, "You're back now and we're all going to be together."

"Okay," Kate breathed, relaxing into Erin's lap, "I get to stay forever?"

"That's right," Jay confirmed, leaning forward to kiss Kate's forehead and Erin's lips. He inhaled deeply when his lips connected with his girlfriend's, immensely grateful that the child that was meant to be between them was back in their embrace. "I love you, and I love you."

"Love you," Erin mumbled against Jay's neck, exhaling deeply. She was suddenly bone-tired, overwhelmed with all that had happened over the past five days. Their bed sounded so inviting but she and Jay still needed to discuss Bunny and hopefully get Kate to eat a little something.

"Er," Jay gently rubbed her shoulder, trying to get Erin's attention.

"Hm?" She asked, not realizing that he had asked a question, "Sorry, what?"

"I said, while I finish with dinner, do you want to help Kate take a bath?" He smiled softly, well aware of how tired both his girls were, "And then we can head to bed?"

"Sounds good," Erin agreed, attempting to stand with an exhausted Kate in her arms, "How about that, babes? A quick bath, a bit of dinner and then bedtime?"

"I wanna stay with you and Daddy," Kate pulled back from Erin, alarmed, "I-I don't wanna be by myself."

"Don't worry, kiddo," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, "I'll be right out here while Mommy helps you in the bath, and I think we should have a sleepover. Does that sound good to you?"

"You're not leavin'?" Kate asked quickly, "When I'm in the bath?"

"Nope," Jay promised, "And Mommy will be with you the whole time."

* * *

"You and Daddy goin' to work tomorrow?" Kate asked while Erin gently dried the little girl off after her bath. She shivered slightly as her mother slipped on Kate's warmest pair of pajamas. Despite being early March, Chicago was still brutally cold.

"Daddy and I need to talk about it a little bit, but I think we're going to stay home for a few days so you can get better," Erin dried Kate's tresses with the towel, "I think you being sick warrants a couple of days off, hm?"

"Grandpa Hank won't be mad?" Kate looked up at her mother with tired eyes, "Cause you gotta take care of me?"

Erin shook her head and boosted her baby into her arms, "Not at all, baby. We love taking care of you. Hank knows that you're our priority. And you always will be, okay?"

"Okay," Kate breathed, settling into Erin's arms, "I'm glad that I got to come back."

"Me too," Erin kissed the side of Kate's damp hair, "How about we get some dinner and then maybe read a few stories before bedtime? I think Uncle Will dropped a few new ones off earlier when he picked up the groceries."

"Hey there, Squirt," Jay smiled as he slid the grilled cheeses onto their respective plates, "Are you up for a little bit of grilled cheese?"

She shrugged tiredly, still leaning heavily against Erin. "Does your tummy hurt?" Erin asked, leaning back slightly so she could look at her baby girl. She cupped Kate's warm cheek with her palm, "Can you tell us if you're not feeling good?"

"I'm not hungry," Kate whispered, glancing down at the food on the table, "I…I don't wanna get sick."

"Oh, sweetheart," Erin rubbed Kate's back, "It might help you feel better to eat a few bites. Then you can take your medicine. Remember how much better you felt in the hospital after you had some sandwich?"

Jay reached into the plastic bag that kept the many bottles of pills for Kate, "Kiddo, as soon as you have some food, you can take these and we can head to bed, okay? I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you'll feel better really soon."

"I…I gotta trust you?" Kate looked at Jay for confirmation.

He nodded slowly, realizing just then how much damage had been done to their little family in a few short days. No matter how much he and Erin loved their little girl, no matter how hard they could try to make things as normal as possible, Kate's trust had been broken. She trusted them to keep her safe, to protect her from the unforgiving outside world, and the harsh reality was that they had let her down.

Jay placed one hand on Kate's shoulder and the other on the small of Erin's back. "You can trust us. I know the last few days have been really hard, but I promise you," Jay swallowed thickly, "We're not letting you go. We just want you to feel better and we wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

It took a moment for Jay's words to resonate with the little girl but once they did, it was like a dam broke. Kate reached her arms out to her father so he could cradle his girls against him, his sweet baby fitting perfectly between the two detectives. Tears trickled down his cheeks as he held his family close, listening to Erin's muffled whimpers of relief. "I didn't give up," Kate said finally. Jay wiped his eyes and looked down at his beautiful daughter, his blue eyes mirrored in her green, "I know I can trust you, that's how come I didn't give up that you were comin' back to get me."

"We're so proud of you," Erin murmured into Kate's damp hair, "We are so proud of how strong and brave you have been."

"I learned to be strong from you, Mommy," Kate replied simply, "You and Daddy teached me how."

"Oh, Squirt," Jay pulled his girls closer again, "I think you are the smartest and bravest kid there is." He ran a hand over Kate's head and pressed a kiss above Erin's ear, "Do you think you could try to have a few bites before bed?"

Kate nodded but remained clamped to Erin when she tried to settle the little girl in her chair, "I-I-I wanna stay close," she stuttered, holding fast to Erin's flannel, "I wanna sit with you."

"Okay, okay," Erin agreed, taking a seat at the table with the child in her lap, "You don't wanna let go, huh?"

She shook her head but accepted the sandwich that Jay placed in front of her, "I-I wanna make sure you're still here."

"Don't worry, kiddo, we're not going anywhere." Jay smiled at his girls before taking a bite of the lukewarm sandwich, too exhausted to taste much.

* * *

"Bunny again," Erin whispered over her sleeping child's head. She and Kate were back on the couch, both nearly asleep but Bunny continued to call. Erin's phone kept buzzing on the cushion, a constant reminder of the woman who lied to DCFS and jeopardized Erin and Jay's relationship with their daughter.

"She's relentless," Jay mused, placing the last of the dinner dishes into the cupboard where they belonged, "What does she want this time?"

"To meet with me," Erin replied dryly, "Probably armed with some half-assed apology and a bottle of oxy."

"Er," Jay started, but Erin shook her head.

"I know, I know, I'm not going," she told him, "It's not worth getting sucked back into her twisted world and I'm certainly not bringing Kate there with me."

"I was actually going to tell you to go," Jay sat on the coffee table again. Erin widened her eyes in surprise, "Babe, unfortunately, Bunny's already tried and succeeded at pulling us back into whatever she's got going on. And for your sake and for Kate's, I think you need to tell her off." He offered a sad smile, "It might give you some closure on the whole situation."

Erin slowly processed what her partner was telling her to do. "You think I should confront her?"

"It's what you normally do," Jay replied honestly, "And-" He was cut off by a loud banging at the apartment door.

"Erin!" came a shrill, muffled voice, "Erin, baby, let me in!"

"She's _here_?" Erin said incredulously, sitting up straighter. Kate stirred against her shoulder and let out a plaintive whimper as Erin moved again, "I'm sorry baby."

"Erin!" Bunny screeched, the rapping on the door becoming more forceful.

"Who's that?" Kate whispered nervously, her voice already beginning to tremble, "A-are they comin' back to take me away?"

"No, no, no," Jay quickly took his daughter into his arms, grimacing when she let out a squeak of pain, "I'm sorry kiddo."

"I'll handle her. Just-just bring Kate into our bedroom, okay?" Erin stood and marched to the front door. She waited until Jay disappeared into their bedroom with a bewildered and frightened Kate before pulling open the door. "What do you want?" she snapped, "What are you doing here?"

"I came by to see you of course," Bunny said simply, letting a breath out and extending her arms, "You look exhausted, honey."

"Don't touch me," Erin growled as her mother tried to step closer, "You have some nerve coming around here after what you did to my family."

Bunny raised her eyebrows, pretending to be surprised, "Well, I have no idea what you're talking about. Is Hank Voight feeding you lies again? Honestly, Erin, you can't trust that man-"

"It's you who I can't trust!" Erin exploded, " _You_ told DCFS that I was abusing my child!"

"Not you, honey, Jay," Bunny insisted, "I saw the scars on her back, how afraid she was and she reminded me of you. And how Uncle Ray used to make you so scared and even though he didn't mean it…I was just looking out for her."

Erin could not believe what she was hearing. The woman who constantly let her down, the woman who enabled her getting hooked on drugs not once but twice, the woman who was supposed to be on her side, was the same woman who was somehow always against her. "Get out," Erin demanded, pointing her finger down the hallway, "Get the hell out of my apartment and get the hell out of my life."

"Erin, please," she tried, holding open the door with one arm, "I'm just looking out for you. And for your little girl. You _know_ what men like Jay are like."

"You're wrong, Mom, I _don't_ know what men like Jay are like, because of you I never knew that men could be kind and smart and _loving._ You have messed up enough of my life, and I sure as hell am not about to let you mess up my daughter's. So goodbye, don't call me."

"Eri-" Bunny started.

"You heard her," Jay said firmly, coming up behind his partner and folding his arms across his chest. "Erin told you to leave. So leave. Before we book you for possession."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bunny said indignantly, but she turned on her heel and hastened down the hallway.

"Ugh," Erin leaned against the door after Jay shut and dead bolted it, "She can't take no for an answer."

"She's going to have to," Jay gently rubbed the sides of Erin's arms, "Come on, let's go to bed."

Erin shook her head slightly, "I-I can't lay down right now. I just-there's so much going through my head right now."

"You wanna watch a documentary?" Jay suggested cheekily, "Always puts Kate to sleep."

She chuckled lightly and rested a hand on her partner's chest, "How'd we get so lucky to have you?"

"Mm, I'm luckier," Jay pressed a gentle kiss onto her lips, which she immediately deepened, leaning her tired body against his, "Kate's in our bedroom though," Jay managed huskily, pulling back slightly, "In our bed."

"Mm," Erin replied, pulling back from another kiss, "You're right."

"Later," Jay said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "Definitely later."

Erin rolled her eyes and settled on the couch, "Are you going to get our little girl?"

"She's in bed, Er," Jay told her, attempting to take a seat beside his girl, "She's probably asleep."

"I _know_ my daughter, Jay," Erin responded, pushing her foot against his thigh, "She's most definetly awake and probably worried that you haven't been back to get her after Bunny was here."

"You're right," Jay got to his feet and headed for the bedroom. As Erin predicted, Kate was wide awake on his side of the bed. She sat up quickly when Jay entered the room, scrambling toward the headboard in fear. "Hey, hey, it's just me," Jay assured her, raising his arms to convey that he wasn't a threat, "Just me."

"Is-is the bunny gone?" Kate whispered, relaxing slightly, "W-where's Mommy?"

"Waiting for us on the couch," Jay replied, extending his arms so he could lift the little girl, "What do you say we watch a documentary tonight, hm? Maybe one on the desert?"

Kate nodded and shed the blankets, immediately melting into her father's embrace, "I-I glad the bunny's gone."

"Me too, kiddo," Jay kissed the top of her head and carried her to the living room where Erin was snuggled on the couch. "Found a stowaway in our bed who likes documentaries, too, babe."

"I'm not stowin' away," Kate mumbled in reply, "I'm not a mouse."

Erin smiled and reached her arms out to her daughter, "You're right, you're not a mouse. Are you a…monkey? Or a tiger?"

"No!" Kate giggled and managed a smile as her father passed her to her mother, "I'm just a kid, Mommy."

"That's right," Jay sat beside his girls and wrapped his arms around Erin's shoulders, "You're _our_ kid."

* * *

As the documentary played on the TV, Kate snoozed against her mother's chest. Erin had her legs draped over Jay's so they could all share the blanket and was peacefully running her fingers through Kate's soft hair. The documentary that was on happened to be about the rainforest, and despite Kate's fascination with poisonous frogs, she had quickly fallen asleep, likely due to the medicine and stress of the past few days.

The movie played on, but Jay wasn't really watching. He was focused on the steady heartbeat of his little girl that gently beat against his side and the pulse of his partner that he could feel with her head resting on his shoulder.

In that moment, everything was alright. They were together. And that is when Jay realized what he wanted to do.

"Babe?"

"Hm?" Erin turned her head slightly so she could gaze up into her partner's eyes, "What is it?"

"Will you marry me?"


	52. Chapter 52

**Enjoy and please let me know what you think - I wrote this with a big ole smile on my face because I know everyone's been waiting for it.**

* * *

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

 _"You sure you_ actually _want to go to Wisconsin? I mean, I know I talk it up a lot but it is way the heck out there. Barely any cell service." Jay slid into the driver's seat of the Sierra, "And you let_ me _drive."_

 _"It'll be good to get out of the city," Erin shrugged, leaning back against the seat, "And you know, nature. We can swim or something."_

 _Jay raised his eyebrows but ignited the car. Erin was eerily quiet as they drove along the highway, not bantering back with him like they usually did. "What's going on, babe?" he asked finally when the pulled onto the country road, "You've been practically silent the whole trip."_

 _She turned to him, "I'm fine."_

 _He rolled his eyes, "You sure about that? Because there have been no cracks about my driving abilities and it's been four hours. It usually takes four minutes."_

 _Erin managed a small smile, "I guess I just miss him, you know. Justin."_

Oh. _Everything clicked into place in Jay's head. He recalled a few months back, a few days after Terry had been killed, when he was laying in what was now their shared bed, listening to Erin recollect some of her better memories. He had a particularly rough day with Voight, and she was trying to make him feel better. Erin told a story about one Fourth of July when Hank and Camille threw a barbecue in their backyard. Justin had all his friends over and one of them, in typical teenage boy fashion, made a comment about Erin._

 _Hank had, according to Erin, made the kid "nearly piss his pants." It was the day she felt her place in their family solidified, both Voight men standing up for a young girl who had never had anyone stand up for her before._

 _"I'm sure the holiday brings back memories for you," Jay started. He swallowed, realizing that the holiday brought back memories for him as well, but of a far different nature._

 _The fireworks._

 _He never really thought about them until they were exploding overhead and he was back in Afghanistan, watching a roadside bomb detonate, flipping the SUV two vehicles ahead. The painful screech of the tires on sand, horrific wails from his brothers as their car was engulfed in flames, shrapnel filling the air, a mix of machinery and human flesh._

 _"Babe?" Erin touched his arm, "You want me to drive?"_

 _"I-I'm good," Jay shook his head, focusing on the road ahead, "Really." He cleared his throat, "I'm just-uh, glad we're up here. Away from everything, you know?"_

 _She nodded in agreement, tracing his hand that rested on her thigh with her fingers, "I'm glad you brought me."_

 _In that moment, Jay could not have loved Erin Lindsay more._

* * *

 _"Are you sure we can do this?" Jay asked as they laid in bed, Kate finally sleeping soundly between them. After the first nightmare in their home, Jay was shaken to his very core. In the hospital, Kate was just another child in the never-ending onslaught of kids who he was confronted with on the job. While Erin was clearly taken by the little girl, he knew that at the end of the day, the case would close and the child would live out the rest of her life separate from his._

 _But now, the broken, timid and traumatized little girl was_ his _responsibility. She was his daughter, his blood, his new world. And though he was more than willing to accept the new challenge, he couldn't help but feel that he wasn't up to it._

 _He had read her file._

 _Jay knew deep within his soul what Kate had been made to endure, but reading the surgeon's notes, the nurses' notes, the therapist's notes…his child had been put through the ringer. She had_ _clearly_ _been physically beaten, sexually abused and emotionally battered before she was in Kindergarten. She had known no other life than one of pain, suffering and fear. It was his job, his and Erin's, to change the trajectory of her story. To show the little girl that people could be good, gentle and kind._

 _Erin tilted her head slightly to look up at her partner. "You're so good with her," Jay continued, "And-and she's so scared of_ men. _What if she thinks I'm going to hurt her or-"_

 _"Babe," she cut him off, "This little girl, your_ daughter _, already knows that with you, she's safe. She trusted you tonight. And we just have to keep showing her that she's safe and soon, she's going to believe it."_

 _"What if she never forgives me?" He asked quietly, the question that had been weighing on his mind since the moment he found out that he was a father, "What happens when she learns that the reason she spent four years in hell was because I didn't know she existed? What's going to happen then?"_

 _Erin was silent but reached over Kate's sleeping form to lay a hand on her partner's chest. "It wasn't your fault, Jay. And when the time comes, you can talk to her about it. But for right now, this little girl needs you to show her that men can be good." She swallowed thickly, "And you are the best man I know, okay?_

 _He nodded and pressed a kiss on the top of his girl's head. "Thank you. For being here. And for doing this with me."_

 _Erin smiled, "We're partners. I've always got your back, Halstead."_

 _In that moment, Jay could not have loved Erin Lindsay more._

* * *

 _"J-Jay?" Kate asked quietly. She was sitting atop the counter, helping stir the stir-fry sauce while Erin was in the shower. Jay was dicing vegetables while the chicken cooked in the pan. He glanced up from the cutting board to his little girl, who was looking at him nervously._

 _"What's up, Squirt?" he asked, setting the knife down next to the cut carrots, zucchini, onions and mushrooms, "How's the sauce coming?"_

 _It was their fourth day together and they were still slowly getting to know each other. Jay, as a new father, was trying to get his timid little girl to open up more, always looking for ways to make her smile. While she was less skittish than she had been when they first met, Kate was still incredibly anxious and shy. "I-I spilled a little," she whispered, glancing down at the small brown spot on her new pajamas. It was barely anything but the child was quivering in fear, "I-I-I'm sorry."_

 _"No big deal at all," Jay assured her, offering a kind smile, "We've got other pajamas for you. Is it okay if we wait until after dinner to change? In case we get a little more sauce on you?"_

 _Kate looked up at her father nervously, "I-I'm not in t-trouble?"_

 _Jay shook his head, "Nope. Not at all. Messes are no big deal, and that's barely anything, okay?"_

 _"You-you not mad?" Kate asked, the slight trembling of her body fading as Jay shook his head again._

 _"Nope, not at all. In fact, I'm so glad that I finally have a little helper in the kitchen." He kissed the top of Kate's head, wincing internally when he felt the little girl tense up. "But you don't have to cook if you don't want to."_

 _"I-I like helpin'," she replied, glancing up at Jay again, "But I don't gotta get hit?"_

 _Jay froze. He knew that Kate had been hurt when she lived with Paul Jackson and his associates, but didn't think that she assumed it was a trend that would continue. He felt his heart shatter as he took in the fearful look in his daughter's eyes, the child so used to pain and abuse that she didn't know anything else._

 _"Never," Jay said firmly, sinking down slightly so he could meet his little girl's gaze. "Kate, I promise that I would_ never _do anything to hurt you okay?"_

 _"You-you and Erin don't hit?" Kate looked surprised, "But when I'm bad, I'm 'posed to get a smack. Th-that's what Mr. P says."_

 _Jay shook his head and gently stroked Kate's thin arm, "No, sweetheart, Erin and I don't hit. And you_ never _should have been hit by that man, or anyone, for that matter._ They _were the bad people, not you."_

 _"Makin' spills isn't bad?" Kate whispered, still skeptical, "A-and askin' to go bathroom isn't bad?"_

 _He shook his head again, feeling his heart break into even smaller pieces, "Not at all, kiddo. You are always allowed to ask us_ anything. _And spills are usually an accident, so they aren't bad either, okay? In this house, you will_ never _be hit like that, I promise you."_

 _"You wouldn't hit Erin, neither?" she asked, eyes wide._

 _"Nope," Jay promised, "Never. Erin's my partner and I would never hurt her. Or you."_

 _"And I wouldn't hurt Jay," Erin said, wrapping one arm around her partner's back, "And we would never hurt you." She leaned up to kiss his cheek._

 _Kate stared at the detectives in front of her before exhaling deeply. "You…you the first man I met who don't hit," she said honestly to her father, "You wouldn't hit me or Erin?"_

 _"That's right," Jay extended his arms and lifted the little girl into his embrace, "You're safe with us, kiddo."_

 _"We've got you, baby, and we're not letting go," Erin promised, running a hand over Kate's back, "Everything's going to be okay."_

 _In that moment, Jay could not have loved Erin Lindsay more._

* * *

 _Though he tried not to show it, Jay worried about Kate all the time. Out in the field, at his desk, at a crime scene…he was always thinking about little human who turned his life upside down in the best way possible. He worried about Erin too, the woman he loved so deeply, his partner, his back-up, and how she was able to cope with the loss of her almost-brother a few months ago._

 _After two weeks with Kate, Jay was the most exhausted he had ever been. But it wasn't the crushing, bone-tired exhaustion that he knew. It was a happy, peaceful exhaustion that he wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Kate was slowly opening up to him, as he was usually the first to awake to the soft cries echoing from the baby monitor._

 _And so instead of falling asleep, Jay worried. He worried about how thin Kate still was, how terrified she was of strange people and how reluctant she was to fall asleep, fearful of the nightmares that never seemed to leave her alone. Erin snoozed beside him, having fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow._

 _Whimpers and soft squeals echoed from the baby monitor in their bedroom, Jay's worries about his little girl coming to fruition. As they intensified, he quickly got up and headed to Kate's room. "Hey, hey, you're okay." He gently shook the child's shoulder, hoping to pull her from the nightmare._

 _Kate squirmed in her fitful sleep, desperately trying to tear her mind from the painful dream. "Stop!" she cried out. She clambered off of her bed, tumbling over the side with a thump and crawled to the corner of the bedroom, cowering in fear._

 _"Shh Kate, it's just Jay." He maintained his distance but sank to his knees in front of the little girl, "You just had a bad dream."_

 _"No, no, no," Kate choked out, "P-please don't touch me, please."_

 _He froze, realizing what was going on in his daughter's mind. While she had grown more comfortable with him in their two weeks together, her nightmare-addled mind still saw the grown man in front of her as a threat to her safety. "I'm not going to hurt you, kiddo," Jay whispered, "You just had a bad dream."_

 _Kate continued to tremble against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest in fear. Jay glanced over his shoulder, wondering if he should seek out his partner. But as luck would have it, Erin was already in the doorway. "Bad dream," he informed her, "She-she won't let me near her."_

 _Erin nodded slowly. "I'll try," she murmured, crouching beside her partner. She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry, babe."_

 _"She thinks_ I'm _going to hurt her," he whispered back. Jay swallowed thickly. He felt like a failure. His poor little girl was so petrified of being harmed that she couldn't bring herself to accept comfort after a horrific nightmare. "I-I don't know what to do."_

 _"Kate, baby?" Erin said quietly, extending a hand to the quivering child, "You're okay, sweetheart. You just had a really bad dream. But you're safe, Jay and I are here."_

 _Kate let out a choked breath as she lifted her head from her knees to meet Erin's concerned gaze. Jay sat beside his partner, not wanting to terrify his daughter any more than she already was. "It's okay, Kate," Erin said, "It's okay."_

 _"Y-you not gonna hurt me?" Kate hiccuped, "I-I safe?"_

 _"You're safe," Erin repeated, tenderly laying a hand on the shivering little girl's back, "You're safe."_

 _"I-I'm sorry," she croaked, looking from Jay to Erin, "I'm s-s-sorry."_

 _"No worries, baby," Erin assured her, "Everything's fine."_

 _Kate crumbled against Erin with another round of harsh sobs. The young detective held the little girl against her chest, feeling her tiny heart race against her own. Jay sat beside his girls, unsure of what he should do. "I-I didn't mean to m-make Jay mad," Kate wept, burying her face into Erin's shoulder, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, d-don't hit me."_

 _"Oh, Jay isn't mad, sweetheart," Erin cooed, looking sadly at her partner, "He's not mad at all. We're just worried about you. We don't want you to be scared."_

 _"I promise I'm not mad, kiddo, and I would never, ever hurt you," Jay swallowed again, trying to force the lump in his throat to dissipate, "I know you've been through a lot and you have nothing to apologize for."_

 _The family sat on the floor of Kate's bedroom as the little girl's panic gasps evened out. Jay continued to sit at the side, unsure if being in close proximity to his child would make the situation better or worse. "Thank you," he breathed to Erin, "I-I didn't know what do."_

 _"It was a bad one," Erin replied, "But it doesn't mean she doesn't trust you. She's been through hell, babe, it's going to take a while for her first instinct to be comfort instead of fear." She offered a sad smile, "I get it. Took me a while too. And sometimes, I still feel like the best thing to do would be to run and hide. But…being with you, and knowing_ love _…" She trailed off, kissing the top of Kate's head instead of continuing her sentence._

 _Jay managed a watery smile. "I love you."_

 _In that moment, Jay could not love Erin Lindsay more._

* * *

 _"Jay, the recipe called for half a_ teaspoon _of baking soda, not half a_ cup!" _Erin groaned as she pulled the muffins out of the oven that appeared to be more like popovers than the chocolate chip muffins she had signed up to bring for Kate's class. After their last attempt at baking together, which ended with burned cookies and hot and soapy shower sex, Jay took it upon himself to make the muffins while Erin helped her baby get ready for school._

 _"What?" Jay poked his head out of the bathroom, "Oh, shit. Those look terrible."_

 _"They're reading 'If You Give A Moose A Muffin Today', Halstead. We can't turn up to preschool with these horrific excuses for muffins. It's_ embarrassing. _" Erin poked one of the overflowing muffins with a fork._

 _"They probably taste fine," Jay replied, pulling a long sleeve Henley over his head and approaching the kitchen, "Where's Kate?"_

 _"Picking out socks," Erin lifted one of the piping hot muffins out of the tin, "Careful, they're hot."_

 _"Ah!" Jay shook his finger when he attempted the lift the muffin to his mouth._

 _"I_ told _you," Erin scoffed, "They just came out of the oven."_

 _"These are terrible," Jay determined after chewing thoughtfully, "Taste like soap."_

 _"That would be the baking soda." She glanced towards Kate's bedroom. "Kate, baby, did you find socks?"_

 _The little girl emerged from her bedroom, bearing a pair of socks with turtles and a pair with llamas, "I can't 'cide between the turtles and the yamas," she told Erin, lifting up the socks for her mother to see._

 _"Llamas," Jay declared, while Erin simultaneously said, "Turtles."_

 _Kate widened her eyes and looked from one parent to the other, "How do I pick?"_

 _"One of each," Jay suggested, grinning widely, "How about one turtle sock and one llama sock?"_

 _"They don't gotta match?" Kate looked even more surprised, "That's okay?"_

 _"Absolutely," Erin chuckled, "Do you want to put them on while Daddy and I figure out how to salvage these muffins in time?"_

 _Kate nodded, "What happened to them?"_

 _"Well, Daddy didn't read the recipe," Erin squatted down in front of her little girl, "So they taste a little funny. I think we'll have to pick some up from the store before we go to school. Is that okay with you?"_

 _She nodded again, "Daddy, Mommy always says you_ always _gotta read the res-py. Odder-wise the food comes out wrong."_

 _"You're absolutely right, Squirt," Jay boosted the little girl up onto the counter, smiling as she let out a squeal of joy, "How about we get those socks on you quick and head to the grocery store?"_

 _Kate giggled as Jay tickled her feet, "That tickles, Daddy!" She squealed again and laughed, "My feet don't like ticklin'!"_

 _Jay raised his eyebrows tauntingly, "You know who else_ really _likes tickling?" Jay asked mischievously. "Mommy!"_

 _"Ah, Jay!" Erin shrieked, attempting to ward him off with the oven mitt. Kate giggled in with delight as her father mercilessly tickled her mother, Erin's face turning red as she squeaked, "Okay, I surrender, I surrender!" She stood up straight and readjusted her shirt, "Whew. Jay, you_ know _how ticklish I am."_

 _"Don't I," Jay wiggled his eyebrows again._

 _Erin glanced at Kate, who returned a cheeky grin, "Good news is, I know that you are too!" In one motion, she pushed her partner toward the little girl, who proceeded to jump onto her father's back._

 _"I got him, Mommy!" Kate laughed, tickling Jay's shoulders from her position, "Tickle him!"_

 _"Argh!" Jay howled, carefully sinking to his knees on the kitchen floor while his girls continue to tickle him, "Okay, okay, you win!"_

 _"You gotta say that we're the better tickle monsters," Erin instructed through her laughter as she poked her partner in the ribs again, now crouched on the floor beside her family, "Say it, Halstead."_

 _"You guys are better," Jay managed, "You win, I surrender."_

 _Kate giggled again but ceased her tickling and instead wrapped her arms around her father's neck from behind, "Daddy, you gotta say we the better tickle monsters."_

 _"You're the better tickle monsters," Jay acquiesced, pulling Erin closer to him with one arm so he could plant a kiss on her lips, "You win."_

 _"Oops, we gotta get going if we're going to get the muffins," Erin glanced up at the clock on the oven, "Ready for shoes, baby?"_

 _Kate nodded and hopped off her father's back before melting into Erin's embrace. "I love you Mommy. And I love you Daddy."_

 _"We love you more," Jay replied, kissing the top of Kate's head and bringing his family in closer, "I love you both so much."_

 _And in that moment, Jay could not have loved Erin Lindsay more._

* * *

"Will you marry me?"

The words seemed to echo around the apartment the moment they left Jay's lips. Suddenly, he was overcome with the fact that not only had he not prepared for the proposal, but the ring was still in his sock drawer and hadn't even been sized yet. And before Erin could respond, more words just tumbled from his mouth.

"Erin Lindsay, every time that I think I cannot love you more than I already do, you always give me a million more reasons. You are my partner, my back-up, my best friend and are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. You have given me a new chance at love, at live and at a family. Whenever I look at you, I just can't believe I am lucky enough to love someone as incredible as you. And I know this is a weird proposal but the ring's in my drawer, it was my mom's and I was gonna take you somewhere special and propose but this, this right here, you, me, Kate together, is the most special place in the world. And I love you and-"

Erin cut him off by pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Yes."

* * *

 **Stay tuned for a whole lot more of family cuteness! (and if there's anything specific you want to see, feel free to let me know - taking suggestions!)**


	53. Chapter 53

**Happy almost New Year! I hit a stroke of inspiration the other day so I might keep going with this for a bit AND have a potential plan for a sequel - are people into that? Let me know if you're down and I'll get it going ASAP :)**

* * *

"Yes."

 _Yes._

 _Yes._

Erin's affirmation washed over Jay after what seemed like an eternity of waiting. The one word, the three letters that he had been hoping to hear since the question left his lips made him feel like he was floating. He kissed her lips gently, unable to find the words he was looking for. Luckily, his girl, his _fiancé,_ knew exactly what he was trying to say. "I love you," Erin murmured, resting her head beneath his chin.

"I love you," Jay echoed, kissing the crown of her head, "Voight's not going to be mad that I didn't ask his permission first, right?"

Erin chuckled, "You remember what I told you after we had been partners for a month?"

"Any guy that needs to ask your dad's permission shouldn't waste his time?" Jay recalled, "I know. I just-"

"We're raising a child together," Erin looked up at him, "Don't worry about Hank, okay? If I'm happy, he's happy. And I'm _happy,_ Halstead."

He grunted slightly in response, but decided to let it go. His girl was happy, and he was too. "I, uh, do have a ring. It's in my sock drawer."

Erin smiled, "I know, you mentioned it. But I don't want to move her." She gestured to the sleeping child in their lap, "She…just looks so peaceful. And she fit so perfectly between us."

Jay nodded in agreement, "Do you think she's going to understand what us getting married means?"

"Well, it isn't much different than what we've already been doing." Erin ran her fingers through Kate's hair, "And I think all she wants is for us to just be together. And that's what I want too."

* * *

When Jay awoke the next morning, he couldn't help but grin. Snuggled up beside him was his _fiancé._ After another hour on the couch, the little family migrated to their bedroom. And while the detectives would have liked to spend their engagement night just the two of them between the sheets, their little girl had just been returned to them and they couldn't bear the thought of her spending the night alone in her bedroom. She had barely let go of Erin since they had arrived home, and Jay knew that if Kate were to wake up all alone, she would be frightened to no end.

For what felt like hours, Jay laid in bed with Erin's head nestled against his shoulder and Kate's tiny body curled against Erin's stomach, feeling like the luckiest man in the world. His little girl was home, his girlfriend was going to be his _wife_ , and they were all together and at peace.

After a while, Kate stirred gently. "Morning Squirt," Jay breathed, running a hand over the back of his daughter's head, "How are you feeling?"

"Good," Kate mumbled, turning over so she could look up at her father, "I'm glad to be home."

"We're glad you're home too," Jay kissed her forehead, "Are you hungry? Maybe for some scrambled eggs and bacon?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not hungry."

Jay frowned slightly, "What about some French toast? Or pancakes?"

She shrugged again, glancing over to her mother who was still sleeping soundly. "Do you feel sick?" Jay asked, gently stroking Kate's warm cheek with his thumb. He frowned again when his little girl managed a small nod, but was thankful she was at least able to tell him. "Can we go try to take some medicine?" He offered, breathing a soft sigh of relief when she nodded her approval.

Kate gingerly climbed off the bed, wincing with every movement. Jay felt his heart clench as he lifted her into his arms, trying not to take her rigid posture personally. "Sorry, kiddo," he whispered as he carried her to the kitchen, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"'s not you, Daddy," Kate murmured, delicately resting her head on his shoulder, "Just when I move. But's not as bad as last time when I got surg-ry."

"Hopefully you'll heal faster too." Jay reached into the cupboard to get Kate's medicine, "Do you think you can have a couple crackers before we take the medicine? I could put some peanut butter on them."

"I don't want you to let go," she replied, tightening her grip around Jay's neck, "I can have them plain?"

"Whatever you want, kiddo," Jay kissed the top of her head again and maneuvered a package of crackers open with one hand, the other keeping Kate close, "I won't let go, I promise."

"How's she doing?" Erin murmured, settling beside her partner on the couch. She had slept an extra half hour and woke up in a brief panic when the sheets surrounding her were cool, "How long have you been out here?"

"Not long," Jay assured her, running a hand over Kate's back as she snoozed against his chest, "She woke up with a bit of discomfort, but we had some crackers and medicine."

"Mm," Erin kissed his neck, "So we have the day off."

"We do. We took the whole week off, actually," Jay turned his head to meet his fiancé's lips, "So we have lots of time. To ourselves."

"Mm," she repeated, kissing him again, "Maybe…we could jump into the shower for a bit? While she's still sleeping?"

Jay grinned and carefully stood, hoping to avoid waking up his little girl. She stirred slightly but remained asleep as he settled her into her bed. "I think we have some time," he whispered, "But we should be quiet."

"Take your own advice then, Halstead," Erin replied huskily, pinning her partner against Kate's doorframe, "I seem to recall it was you who had trouble keeping it down last time."

"Couldn't...help…it," Jay replied between kisses, boosting Erin up into his arms so that she was straddled around his waist, "You just make my t shirts look so sexy."

Erin pulled the shirt Jay had donned over his head and tossed it on the living room floor, "Yeah?"

"Mm-hm," he confirmed, kissing her again as he carried her toward the bedroom. "Wait. Pause."

"What?" Erin whined, pulling back, "Why?"

"I gotta give you something," Jay reached into his sock draw with one arm, the other still banded around Erin's leg as he balanced her on his hips. He popped open the ring box and fished out the diamond ring. "I uh, really should be on my knees for this."

" _Later_ ," Erin insisted with a smirk, as he placed the piece in her palm. Jay had put the ring on a chain so that she could wear the ring around her neck.

"I figured you're not much of an engagement-ring type girl, so I uh, put it on this chain so that you could-"

"It's perfect," she breathed, kissing him again. She put her feet back on the ground and lifted her hair off her neck. Erin handed him the ring and spun around so that he could fasten it around her neck. Gently, Jay clasped the chain and allowed her messy locks to tumble back down her shoulders before kissing the side of her neck again. She shivered and ran her fingers over the simple band and elegant diamond, resting perfectly against her heart.

Slowly, Erin turned back around to face her partner, her fiancé. "You look incredible, Er," Jay managed, in awe of the woman before him. She was dwarfed in his Academy t-shirt, his mother's ring hanging daintily around her neck, hair tousled from sleep and eyes shining with tears, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"Jay," Erin rolled her eyes, but he cut her off with a kiss. In one swift motion, she slipped off his shirt and jumped back into his arms so he could carry her to the bathroom.

* * *

"Are you sure we can leave her with Platt?" Erin asked while Jay adjusted the Velcro straps for the vest on her shoulders, "I mean, we were supposed to take a week off so she could heal and it hasn't even been two days."

Kate had been positively wiped from the entire ordeal, and spent much of her first day back with her parents asleep, giving Jay and Erin time to reconnect in every sense of the word. They spent the day _together_ , but also found time for cooking and cleaning the apartment as well as talking about their little girl and what they could do to make her feel more at ease again. After Kate woke up again, unfortunately not feeling well, the family spent the day back on the couch while Jay read from Harry Potter, as neither Kate nor Erin had seen the movies or read the books.

They hadn't yet told their little girl about their engagement, partially because they weren't sure how she would take it or if she would understand, and partially because they were enjoying keeping it between just the two of them.

"She'll be okay for an hour or two," Jay reassured his girl while fastening the strap, "Kate was totally fine with it. And she's safe, she's in the breakroom and if anything goes wrong, Platt will call us."

Intelligence caught a break in a case that had been dormant for months which Jay and Erin had been running point on even before Kate came into their lives. While Hank insisted that the rest of the team could handle it while they were home with their little girl, the detectives felt the need to see the case through. Despite having just returned to her parents, Kate was unusually calm when Jay gently mentioned that they would need to step out for a bit and that Platt would be taking care of her. There was only one confirmation of "You gonna come back though, right?" and no tears at all.

"I hope you're right," Erin mused, turning around to face her fiancé. She reached beneath the vest and pulled out the engagement ring which hung around her neck, "And maybe when we get back, we can tell Hank about this? And Kate?"

Jay smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips, "Deal."

* * *

The tip was bad and the stash house was empty, which frustrated the members of Intelligence to no end. Ruzek's CI, who had provided the tip, was now nowhere to be found. "That was a waste," Jay grumbled, shedding his vest in the locker room.

"Atwater said they're trying to track Ruzek's CI now, so hopefully we'll have something tomorrow," Erin informed him, peeling the Velcro straps off her shoulders, "Help me, would you?"

"You think Kate's awake?" He looked at his watch, "We've been gone about three hours."

"She's awake," Platt's voice rang out. The detectives turned to see their sergeant holding a very sleepy little girl in her arms. "Heard the tip was crap."

"Yeah," Jay nodded, "Hey Squirt."

"Hi Daddy," Kate murmured, extending her arms to her father, "No bad guys?"

Erin smiled, "We missed them today, but we'll get them tomorrow. Did you have a fun time with Sergeant Platt?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, resting her head on Jay's shoulder, "We writed all the reports for the patrolmen's report cards."

"She's a great little helper," Platt told Erin and Jay, "But I think she's probably ready to home."

"I bet," Jay agreed, "Thanks for taking her Sarge. Really appreciate it."

"How're you feeling baby?" Erin asked as she tromped up the stairs to Intelligence, "Ready for a nap maybe?"

She just shrugged, still resting against her father's shoulder. Jay raised his eyebrows at Erin and cocked his head slightly toward Hank's office. She nodded in response and made her way toward the door. "Who's that?" Kate asked sleepily, glancing at the man in a suit who was speaking with her grandfather.

The conversation looked serious, so Erin turned back to her family, "Maybe we just head home for the evening. We can chat with Hank tomorrow."

* * *

Jay cautiously took a step into his daughter's like he had done countless times before. "Kate," he whispered softly, "Wake up, kiddo, you're just dreaming."

The little girl continued to struggle against the covers as she was trapped in the horrific depths of a nightmare. Soft whimpers escaped her lips as she shifted in her sleep, pulling at Jay's heartstrings.

Erin had completely forgotten that she and Annie had arranged to get drinks weeks ago, so she reluctantly left her family with the promise of returning quickly. Kate had luckily been so exhausted that she didn't get too upset, but still clung fiercely to her mother until the last possible second.

"Kate, wake up." Jay eased himself onto the bed and put his hand on her quivering shoulder. "Wake up, you're alright. Come on back."

"No!" Kate shrieked, freeing her arms from beneath the covers as she was pulled back to reality. She sat up rapidly, wincing immediately at the pain in her stomach. Gasping, crying and disoriented, the child looked around, unsure of her surroundings.

"Kate, it's Daddy. You were just having a nightmare," Jay reached a hand out to comfort her but Kate drew back. "It's just me. You're at home now, you're safe, everything's okay."

"Daddy?" Kate whispered, then promptly burst into tears. She covered her face with her small hands as she cried. Typically, after a nightmare, the little girl only wanted to be held but tonight she sat shakily on the bed, refusing to meet her father's gaze. She held her arms tightly against her chest as she wheezed, the entire bed almost shaking with the force of her tremors.

"What's going on, Squirt?" he asked, rubbing her quivering back in a soothing motion, "Why are you so upset?" He brushed some of the tears of her pale cheeks, and tucked her sweat-dampened hair behind her ear. "Are you scared?"

"I…I…" she choked out, her words suppressed by sobs. She inhaled sharply and coughed, resulting in another grimace due to the pain in her abdomen. Kate let out a pained hiss and continued to cry in broken sobs.

"You need to breathe, kiddo," Jay told her as calmly as possible, continuing to rub her back, "In and out, okay?" He demonstrated for her while he could feel her little heart racing beneath his palm. Kate whimpered again, tears still rolling off her cheeks.

"Do you feel sick?" he asked, "Is it okay if I look at your tummy?" When she didn't immediately answer, Jay gingerly lifted Kate's pajama top. Her stomach looked normal, but the contortion of her face suggested otherwise. After a few minutes of listening to the child breathe heavily, Jay tilted her chin up so she would meet his gaze. "Do you still hurt?"

She nodded her head, finally leaning into her father's embrace and turning her face into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, kiddo," Jay gently stroked her back, "I know it hurts. We can give you some medicine in a few hours though, alright?"

"I don't want no more medicine," Kate mumbled, "I-I'm sorry!" She erupted in another round of distressed sobs. Jay felt like he took a knife to the gut as his baby girl wept into his shoulder, so emotionally and physically spent from the past few days that she could barely breathe.

"You gotta breathe," Jay practically begged as he held a shaking Kate in his arms, "I know you're feeling sick and you're scared, but I need you to take some deep breaths, okay? I don't want you to pass out."

It took a few more minutes of Jay's gentle ministrations, but Kate slowly stopped sobbing. Unfortunately, tears continued to flow down her cheeks too quickly for Jay to brush away all of them. With the child still shuddering in his arms, Jay headed for the living room. Sometimes when Kate couldn't fall back asleep, letting her rest against his chest while he sat on the couch would lure her into a slumber. "We're going to watch a documentary, okay?"

Again, Kate didn't respond but Jay settled against the couch and turned the television on at the lowest possible volume. Kate didn't bother to turn around to face the screen but remained clamped to Jay's chest while he continued to try to comfort her.

As the program wore on, Kate rested against Jay's chest, her once-harsh pants becoming less painful. He slowly stroked her tiny head against his shoulder but when he leaned down to kiss her cheek, he realized she hadn't stopped crying. "Are you still hurting kiddo?" Jay carefully readjusted the little girl so he could help her sit up, but she collapsed against him, like she couldn't support herself.

"No, no, no," Kate wailed, crumbling against her father, "No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shh, shh, it's okay." Jay was at a loss. Normally the efforts he had made to bring his little girl some relief would have worked, but tonight was not the ordinary. "Are you scared?"

Kate replied with a stifled sob, "W-where's Mommy?"

"On her way home soon," Jay said calmly, trying to keep the little girl from spiraling out of control, "She just went out for a little bit, but she'll be back soon. And I'm sure she'll come give you a kiss good night."

She shook her head vigorously, "No, no, I want M-Mommy."

"I know, I know, she'll be home soon," Jay tried, remembering the time he had to work violence reduction right a few days after Kate had surgery. She had gotten so worked up that she tore her stitches, landing her right back in the ED with a frazzled Erin. He wanted to avoid _that_ call at all costs. "We can give her a call, how about that? I want to hear her voice, too."

"I-I want her to c-come home _now,_ " Kate begged, pushing herself away from her father. She scrambled off the couch and scurried toward the front door, "I want her, I want her!"

"She's coming, kiddo," Jay reached his arms out to the little girl, who was now shaking against the coat rack, "Mommy'll be home soon, don't worry."

Kate shook her head again, body wracked with sobs, "No, now, now, now!"

"I'm going to call her right now, okay?"

She replied with a harsh wheeze as she quivered against the jackets, so Jay fished his phone out of the pocket of his sweats and dialed his partner. "Hey babe, everything okay?" Erin answered on the first ring, muffled noises of a crowded bar coming through the speaker.

"We were just missing you," Jay spoke softly into the receiver, still squatting in front of his daughter, "Just checking in."

"How's she doing?" Erin murmured, "Still in pain?"

"Yeah," he replied, "Squirt? You wanna talk to Mommy?" He held out the phone to the little girl, "She's on the other end."

Kate stared at the cell phone like it was covered in worms. "I can put her on speaker," Jay suggested, pressing the button, "Babe, you're on speaker with Kate and I."

"Hi baby," Erin cooed, "Are you hurting?" Again, the child didn't respond but tears streamed down her cheeks. "Jay? Are you there? Is everything okay?"

"We're here," Jay confirmed, looked concernedly at his daughter, "We're okay."

"I-I want Mommy," Kate wept, tears continuing to fall, "I want her."

"I'm on my way back," Erin decided. Rustling could be heard on the other end, along with her asking for the check, "I'm coming home, okay baby?"

"See, Mommy's coming back," Jay tried to brush the tears off his daughter's cheeks, but she pulled back with a squeak.

"Don't hurt me!" Kate yelped, cowering against the coats. Jay dropped his arm in surprise. Kate hadn't been in a panic like she was in months and he had forgotten just how heartbreaking it was.

"I'm coming now," Erin's voice echoed from his phone, "I'll be there soon."

* * *

Jay had never felt so helpless.

His child was in pain, cowering in fear while he sat three feet across from her, unable to do anything to soothe her. Her tiny body convulsed in sobs, each strangled cry breaking his heart into smaller and smaller pieces.

He heaved a heavy sigh of relief when he heard the familiar sound of the lock turning in the door. "Mommy's home," Jay whispered to his daughter, as Erin stepped into the apartment breathless, "It's okay."

"Hi," Erin murmured, unzipping her coat and dropping it to the ground. She kissed the top of Jay's head and turned to her little girl, "Hi baby."

Kate glanced up at the woman who entered the apartment, tears still streaming down her cheeks, "It's been like this for an hour," Jay informed his partner, "I-I've tried everything."

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Erin asked, sinking down beside Jay, "Are you feeling sick?"

The child let out a pained whimper, followed by more tears. "Are you scared, too, kiddo?" Jay tried, "Mommy's here now. We're together, everything's okay."

Erin extended her arm out to the little girl, "I'm here, baby. You're safe."

Kate continued to cower against the coat rack and refused to meet either of her parent's gazes. "It hasn't been this bad in months," Jay whispered, trying his best to remain calm, "She's _afraid_ of me, Er."

"Remember that book I was reading back when we first met her?" Erin cocked her head slightly to the side, "It said that when children come from traumatic experiences, often the only way they can feel in control is when they have a tantrum. And while Kate's never been angry, I think this is her way of protecting herself. She's been through so much, especially with men, and this is how she's able to feel safe."

Jay nodded after a moment. He had read the book on foster children as well, which advised to not take every outburst personally. Over the past nine months, he had done his best to not interpret Kate's nightmares or fears as failures on his part, but the current situation he found himself in did not make it easy. "Kiddo," he attempted, "I know you had a really rough nightmare. And I know it's been a bad few days, but it's just me and Mommy here, okay? We're both here for you."

It took a few moments of silence as Kate leaned against the wall, tiny body shivering from the mid-March chill and marathon panic attack. "P-p-please don't go," she begged, finally meeting Erin's gaze, "I-I-I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby, it's alright," Erin assured her, extending her arms again. Kate threw herself into her mother's embrace with another sob, soaking her top with tears.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, burying her face in Erin's neck. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry, Squirt, we got you." Jay tentatively stroked Kate's hair, "You're safe."

After a few minutes of holding Kate on the floor, Erin carefully tried to stand. "No, no, don't go!" Kate wept, pulling back from her mother in panic, "I-I'm sorry."

"Shh, sweetheart, we're just going to sit on the couch for a bit." Erin stood and followed her partner. Jay led his girls back to the couch, enveloping them in a hug.

"Mommy and I have some news for you," Jay started, continuing to run his hands over Kate's head. "And it's good news, so you don't need to worry."

The little girl lifted her head off Erin's shoulder and glanced up at her parents suspiciously, tear trails standing out on her pink cheeks. "I get to stay still?"

"Absolutely," Erin kissed Kate's forehead. She lifted the engagement ring from underneath her top and held it in her palm, "Daddy and I are getting married."

She widened her eyes and looked from Jay to Erin, "I-I dunno what that means."

Jay smiled as Erin laid her head on his shoulder, "Well, it means that Mommy and I are going to exchange some rings. And that we're going to be partners at home forever."

"I-I thought you 'ready were?" Kate sniffed, "You still be my mommy and daddy?"

"That's right," Erin affirmed, "Nothing's going to change. Just means that instead of boyfriend and girlfriend, Daddy and I are going to be husband and wife."

"I still be your kid though?" Kate asked worriedly, "I still be both yours?"

"Mm-hm," Jay kissed the top of Erin's head, "Ours forever."


	54. Chapter 54

**Little bit of an earlier than expected update because I got some really nice comments and ugh I just love writing about family fun time (but I guess I also like the drama...)**

* * *

Following Kate's emotional breakdown, both Erin and Jay stayed home the next day to be with her. They enjoyed a simple, lazy day at home. Even before Kate came to live with them, Jay knew that days off were his girl's favorite. She enjoyed dozing on the couch while a game played in the background and waking to her partner cooking something delicious. With her little girl, those lazy days were even better, still spent lounging on the couch, but this time beside a tiny body who she loved more than anything in the world.

Despite the high-emotional toll of the day before, Kate appeared to be alright. She remained snuggled close to her mother for the majority of their morning and agreeably took the necessary medication to heal her stomach. When Erin broached the idea of taking a trip to see the therapist, Dr. Handel, Kate had been skeptical but agreed.

The appointment had been a tough one for Erin and Jay as they sat outside the office, Jay's knee jumping up and down rapidly with anxiety. "She's going to be okay, babe," Erin placed a hand on his knee in an effort to calm him down, "It's going to take some time, but she's going to be fine."

He nodded grimly, "I…just…you didn't see her yesterday, right after I woke her up," He swallowed, "She, uh, was just so _scared_ of me, Er. And I haven't seen that in _months._ It um, just really caught me off guard because she's my kid you know, our kid…and kids shouldn't be afraid of their parents." Jay let out a breath and rubbed his palms over his tired eyes.

"I know," Erin rubbed his back gently, "It sucks. But we've gotten her back before and we're going to do it again."

Again, Jay managed a nod. "Just this time, we broke her trust. We _promised_ her that after New York, we'd keep her with us forever, and they just took her away. I just…I don't see how she's ever going to trust us again. Especially after I left and…"

"Jay." Erin put her palm on her partner's cheek, "We can do this. And I know you're always the one pulling me back from the edge but it's my turn now and I'm telling you, we're gonna be there so hard for this kid you have no idea. And-"

"Mommy, Daddy!" Kate bolted out of the therapist's office as the door opened slightly. She rushed across the waiting room and into her father's lap with an incredibly relieved sigh.

"Hey Squirt," Jay held his little girl closely as Erin's words washed over him, "How was your conversation with Dr. Handel?"

She buried her face in Jay's neck and shrugged, "Missed you."

Jay smiled wistfully, "We missed you too, sweetheart." He glanced up at the doctor, who was leaning against the door frame to her office, "Everything alright, doc?"

"Kate and I had a lovely conversation," Dr. Handel informed them, "Do you all want to step inside my office for a few minutes? It won't be long."

Erin nodded and stood, but Kate remained clamped to Jay's side. "It's just a few minutes, baby," Erin smoothed Kate's hair back, "And then we're going to take your medicine and maybe read some more Harry Potter?"

Kate lifted her head from Jay's shoulder and nodded meekly.

* * *

"I cannot believe it's snowing _again._ It's _March._ " Erin huffed, frowning as she watched the white fluffy flakes fall from the sky from the living room window, "I'm over it."

A week had passed since Kate returned home and since Jay had proposed. Their family was still adjusting, but the conversation with the therapist helped. Kate was still more anxious than she had been prior to being removed from her parent's care, but was slowly getting better. Her stomach was healing as well, and she was finally eating like normal.

They had still not told anyone besides their daughter about the engagement, and were enjoying keeping it within their family. It had been a good learning experience for Kate as well, who was typically very concerned with lying, but was keeping the first "good secret" that she had ever been trusted with. Erin and Jay agreed that they would tell Hank after the most recent case wrapped up, and it appeared that the day was imminent. However, the most recent snow storm put a damper on the otherwise exciting day, as Erin was _not_ a fan of inclement weather.

Jay chuckled and tossed her a pair of socks through the doorway to their bedroom. "C'mon babe, no need to be grumpy. I thought you were coming around to the idea of snow?"

"Not when we parked the Sierra on the street," she grumbled, pulling the socks on, "And not when we gotta be careful with Kate's immune system. She's gonna be crushed when she finds out we can't take her to play in the snow. _And_ we can't even take a real snow day since we're in the middle of the case. What about fourteen inches of snow makes people want to commit murder, huh?"

He rolled his eyes, "I don't know, but we were close to getting them yesterday. The guys are idiots. I bet we're home in time for an inside snow-day."

"Wishful thinking," Erin replied, turning to her daughter's bedroom. "Kate, sweetheart? Are you ready?"

"Yes Mommy." Kate emerged from her bedroom wearing the sweater that Erin had laid out for her and thick socks, but was still shivering slightly.

"Are you cold, kiddo?" Jay asked, scooping her up into his arms and holding her against his chest, "You're shivering."

She nodded slightly and shivered again. "We gonna have Halstead-style snow day today?"

"Well, since it's so cold outside and Mommy and I have to work, we were thinking we could just build the fort inside today. It's really windy out there." He looked to Erin, who nodded in confirmation.

"And we won't be too long at the district," Erin added, "We just need to wrap a few things up."

Kate nodded again, "It's too cold for playin'?"

"I think so, baby," Erin nodded, "But we can have a good time inside, alright?"

"I wish it wasn't so cold," Kate murmured sadly, resting her head on Jay's shoulder, "Daddy _loves_ the snow."

"You're right about that," Jay tickled her back slightly, "I'm going to clean off the car okay? Then you and Mommy can meet me downstairs once it's warm inside, sound good?"

 _"I never played in the snow before," Kate informed Jay as he wrapped one of his scarves around her neck, "Last time it snowed I had hurt arms."_

 _Jay paused as he slipped the mittens on her tiny fingers._ Of course. _Last time Chicago was hit with a considerable amount of snow, it had been the day that Kate had been kidnapped and taken to New York. When they had returned, Erin and Jay hadn't wanted to get her cast wet with the snow and their little girl was too exhausted from the ordeal to be dragged out into the snow._

 _"You're right, it is your first time playing in the snow," Erin piped up, pulling a hat over her head, "But I'll let you in on a secret. It's only my second time, so we can figure it out together, hm?"_

 _Jay looked up at his girl in surprise. He recalled one story that Erin had told him about a snowball fight with Justin after she came to live with the Voights but didn't realize that it was her only other time. "I_ love _the snow," Jay declared, putting the other mitten on his little girl's hand, "And we're going to have a great time. We can build a snowman and I can show you how to make snowballs."_

 _"You_ would _love the snow," Erin scoffed as she finished lacing up her boots, "You're an overgrown child, Halstead. Every time it so much as flurries you're like a kid on Christmas morning."_

 _Jay smiled cheekily, "C'mon babe, how can you not like snow? It's magical."_

 _She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, it's real magical cleaning off the windshield in negative four-degree weather. Not to mention the frozen pipes and lack of heat."_

 _He frowned, realizing she was remembering the rough times she had growing up. "Well, never fear, because I am going to show you a_ Halstead-style _snow day."_

 _"Halstead-style?" Kate widened her eyes, "What's that mean?"_

 _"Well," Jay scooped up Kate in his arms and pulled open the front door. "First, we're going to the park to build a snow man. And then, we're going to come home, make some hot chocolate," He winked at Erin, "Or coffee, and build a fort out of pillows and blankets."_

 _"Wow!" Kate exclaimed, glancing over her father's shoulder to Erin, who was locking their door, "Mommy, you never got Halstead-style snow day?"_

 _"Nope," Erin grinned, "It sounds like fun though, huh?"_

 _Three hours later, Kate and Erin were fast asleep in the pillow fort, hot chocolate mustaches on their lips and fuzzy socks on their toes to ward against the winter chill. The Halstead-style snow day had been a smashing success, with one large snowman built in the park along with two snow forts and a mountain of snowballs._

 _Jay laid beside Erin, gently running his fingertips over her serene features. Watching her smile as she experienced a true snow-day, an activity that had been denied to her for most of her life, almost brought tears to his eyes. He couldn't fathom what it was like growing up in her situation. While he had his fair share of problems with his father, his mother was kind and loving, a stark contrast to the manic, unpredictable and downright horrific nature of Bunny Fletcher._

 _In the same vein, Jay was also so grateful to have the opportunity to show his own little girl a true snow day. It wasn't lost on him that had she not been found, she would have been subject to a life not unlike Erin's. He sighed softly, reaching over his girls to collect the empty mugs of hot chocolate that sat beside Kate._

 _Reluctantly, he detangled himself from the fort to place the mugs in the sink. As quietly as possible, he crept underneath the fort and lifted Kate from her mother's shoulder. The exhausted little girl didn't even flinch at the movement as he carried her to his bedroom and tucked her in the middle of his bed._

 _He returned to the fort to extract Erin from her sprawling position across the couch cushions, gently hooking his arms underneath her knees and across her back. "Jay?" she mumbled, turning her head slightly as she was suddenly cold, "'at's happening?"_

 _"Go back to sleep, babe," he whispered softly, setting her carefully onto the mattress beside their daughter, "I thought you two would sleep better on a mattress rather than the floor."_

 _Erin snuggled closer to her partner after he crawled into bed, shimmying Kate closer to her father as well so that they were all cuddled in the middle of the bed. She rested her head on her partner's chest, tucking Kate against hers. "I love you," she mumbled against his shoulder, warm breath tickling his neck, "So much."_

 _"I love you too," Jay replied, kissing the top of her head and running a palm over Kate's soft brown locks, "I love you both more than anything."_

* * *

"It's chilly out there, huh?" Platt said to the family as they hurried into the district. The wind was whipping so hard that even a few seconds from the car to the building provided a bone-chilling cold that hurt when it hit the skin.

Erin let out a sharp breath and shivered violently, "Jesus."

"Did we get a dog, Sarge?" Jay shed his gloves while balancing Kate on his hip. A large German Sheppard sat slightly behind the desk, wagging his tail rapidly at the new people.

"It's Goose!" Kate exclaimed, wiggling so that her father would set her down. Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise but gently lowered the little girl down.

"Careful, Squirt," he warned, placing a hand on her shoulder so she wouldn't frighten the large animal.

"It's okay, Daddy, he likes me!" She insisted, looking up at her father pleadingly, "Can I pet him, please?"

Jay looked back to the desk sergeant, who was shuffling papers around her desk, "Yeah, yeah, it's fine," Platt waved her hand dismissively, "Some new trial of certain districts getting dogs. I heard this one barely passed the test though, and he isn't a great listener."

"He's a good boy," Erin declared, kneeling in front of the dog and stroking his ears, "Hi, Goose. Nice to see you again."

"I missed you!" Kate informed the dog, reaching out a mittened hand to stroke his back. He wagged his tail rapidly and nudged Erin's hand with his nose, urging her to keep going.

"I think he missed you too, kiddo," Jay mused, watching as his girls interacted with the dog, "I forgot how much he liked you guys."

"He liked you too, Daddy," Kate told him, "He eated your sammich, 'member?"

"Oh I remember," Jay smiled, "We gotta head upstairs though, Grandpa Hank is waiting for Mommy and me."

"Can I stay with Sergeant Platt and Goose?" Kate asked, looking up at him with sparkling eyes, "Please?"

"I don't see why not," Erin shrugged, "Sarge, is that okay with you?"

"I would be happy to have someone keep an eye on the dog," Platt nodded, "But keep your coat on, okay sweetheart? The door opens and closes a lot and I don't want you to get sick."

* * *

"Hank, do you have a second?" Erin asked, abruptly standing up from her desk and looking pointedly at her sergeant and father-figure. Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise – they were supposed to wait until the end of the day to tell him about their engagement and it was barely noon.

The older man glanced into his office and back to his almost-daughter. "Yeah, I do." He gestured to his office. Erin nodded and looked over at her partner, gently cocking her head to the side so that he would follow her.

Jay took a deep breath and stood, wearily following his fiancé into her almost-father's office. "We're doing this now?" He hissed, looking nervously at the gruff sergeant leaning against the desk, "As in, right now?"

Erin nodded and closed the office door. "Everything okay, kid?" Hank asked as he regarded his two detectives. Both appeared anxious. "Is Kate alright?"

"She's totally fine," Erin said quickly, "She's loving having the dog here. I checked on her an hour ago and she was reading to him."

Hank smiled, "And she's feeling better?"

Jay nodded and cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah, she is, thankfully. Nightmares are still worse than they were, but she's eating and on the mend."

"Glad to hear it," Hank glanced at Erin, who was holding her hand over her chest, "What's going on?"

"We're engaged," Erin blurted out, "Jay asked me to marry him and I said yes."

Silence filled the room as the detectives held their breath, waiting to hear what their boss' reaction would be. "'bout time," Hank rasped, his face breaking into a proud smile, "Congratulations, you two."

"Thanks Hank," Erin grinned as her father-figure opened his arms for a hug, "Glad you approve."

He grunted in response and extended his palm to Jay, "Take care of them, Jay."

"I will, sir," Jay managed, barely able to process what had just happened, "Thank you."

"Well? Have you told anyone else?" Hank asked, pulling back from his detectives, "Did you tell Kate?"

"We did, and she was very skeptical of keeping a secret from you, but we wanted to tell you when it was the right time," Erin beamed, "She's excited, I think. To be completely honest, I don't think she really knows what it means."

Hank nodded, "I'm glad she's doing well."

Ruzek knocked on the door, "Hey, boss, I need your John Hancock on this form right here," he interrupted, "Oh…sorry. Didn't realize you guys were still in here."

"It's fine," Jay made a face and waved his hand flippantly.

"What, are you knocked up, Lindsay?" Ruzek quipped, offering a playful smile.

"No!" Erin and Jay exclaimed, glancing back and forth to each other to confirm. "We're getting married, you idiot," Jay rolled his eyes and put his arm around Erin's shoulder, "She said yes."

"What? No way!" Ruzek broke out into a grin, "Hey, boys, Halstead got engaged!"

* * *

After a lot of congratulatory praise from their team and the wider district, the family headed home to wait out the rest of the snowstorm. While Kate had been disappointed to hear that Goose would be living at the district, she was ecstatic that he would still be there the next time she came back.

"Daddy, do we still got time for Halstead-style snow day?" Kate asked hopefully, shivering slightly as Erin unlocked their apartment. "The inside part?"

"Most definitely," Jay grinned, shedding his coat after helping Erin remove hers, "How about a fort in the living room?"

Kate nodded eagerly, the hat she was wearing slipping off her tiny head. "How about you put your coziest pajamas on and I'll make some hot chocolate?" Erin suggested, unzipping Kate's winter coat and hanging it beside hers, "And Daddy can reach all the pillows in the closet."

"Yeah!" Kate squealed with excitement, scurrying off to her bedroom in search of her warmest pajamas.

"You wanna grab the pillows, Daddy?" Erin asked, laying a hand on her partner's chest, "Can't have a Halstead-style snow day fort without them."

"Mm, you're right," Jay leaned down and kissed her lips, sending shivers down her spine, "You still cold, babe?"

"You're warming me up," Erin replied, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his flannel, "Must be why you like snow so much. You're practically a space heater."

Jay chuckled, "Is that what you keep me around for?"

"Mostly," Erin mumbled into his chest, "The sexy body doesn't hurt either." She leaned her head against his heart and listened to the soothing cadence of his heartbeat before she pulled back abruptly.

"What is it?" Jay asked, glancing down at his fiancé, "You okay?"

"I-I just remembered the surprise for Kate that I got last week!" Erin detangled herself from her partner's embrace, "Kate, baby, did you put your pajamas on yet?"

"Oh-most!" Kate called back, peering out of her bedroom wearing the shirt she had worn all day and a pair of pajama pants.

"Hang on, okay? I have a new pair of pajamas I think you're going to like," Erin grinned widely and hurried to her closet, pulling down a shopping bag from beneath her summer clothes.

"I have no idea what it is," Jay said honestly when Kate looked at him curiously, "No idea."

Erin returned to the living room, slightly breathless. "Okay, babes, reach into the bag and pull it out," she instructed, eyes twinkling.

Cautiously, Kate put her hand into the bag and produced a pair of dark blue flannel pajamas with snowflakes on them. "Snow pajamas!" She exclaimed excitedly, "Wow!"

"That's not even the best part, look," Erin reached into the bag to reveal two matching sets of pajamas for a larger person.

"You and Daddy got matchin'?" Kate squealed, practically bouncing up and down, "That is so cool!"

"Nice choice, babe," Jay laughed as she handed him the pair of pajamas that were obviously for him. He leaned down and whispered in her ear so Kate couldn't hear, "But you know I prefer to sleep naked."

"Ew, get _out_ of here, Halstead!" Erin pushed him away slightly, grinning from ear to ear. "What do you think of our family snow day pajamas, huh?"

"I love them!" Kate wrapped her tiny arms around Erin's legs, "Thank you Mommy!"

"You're very welcome," Erin stroked the back of Kate's head, "And guess what. I already washed them so we can wear them today, how does that sound?"

"So good!" The little girl bounced up and down slightly, "I go put them on ri-now!" She scurried off to her bedroom, leaving her parents in the living room.

"I love how when she's excited, she says 'rinow' instead of right now," Jay grinned, holding up the pajamas, "She's amped for this getup."

"I'm just excited to get you out of them after she goes to sleep," Erin raised her eyebrows mischievously, "But you better get dressed, Daddy. Gotta get started on building the fort."

* * *

 **Up Next: More family snow day fun (it's just so cute I can't help but write it) - and please review, it would totally make my day!  
**


	55. Chapter 55

**A little family snow day action! Feel free to leave a review :)**

* * *

"What do you think, kiddo?" Jay poked his head out of their bedroom, fully clad in the snow day pajamas that Erin purchased. He took a step toward the little girl and did a quick spin.

"Ah!" Kate giggled, clapping her hands wildly, "You look real hand-some Daddy!"

"Why thank you," Jay took an exaggerated bow, causing Erin to roll her eyes. "Oh please babe, you _know_ you love it." He shook his rear at his fiancé as Kate erupted with laughter. He continued to taunt her until she broke into a big grin.

"You got me, you got me," she laughed, smoothing her hands over the pajama pocket over his heart, "Can't resist a man in snow pajamas."

"You gotta put yours on too, Mommy!" Kate exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Erin's legs and looking up at her mother excitedly, "Den we _all_ be matchin'!"

"Yeah, Mommy," Jay grinned, "You don't want to leave Kate and I hanging, do you?"

"Alright, alright," Erin threw her hands up, "Give me a minute, okay?"

Jay boosted Kate into his arms, "How about if you and I go raid the pantry to find some hot chocolate? And marshmallows too?"

"'kay!" Kate squealed, wrapping her arms around Jay's neck, "You gotta hurry Mommy, odder-wise Daddy's gonna drink all your hot choc-lit!"

"You better not, Halstead," Erin called over her shoulder, "Kate, keep your daddy in line, okay?"

"I make sure!" Kate replied, touching Jay's chin gently, "I'm watchin' you."

"Are you?" Jay wiggled his eyebrows and set the little girl on the kitchen counter, "Well, I'm sure Mommy won't mind if we take a few bites of ice cream before we make the hot chocolate then?"

Kate widened her eyes incredulously, "Even though we didn't have dinner yet?"

"A few bites won't hurt," Jay snagged a spoon from the drawer and dug into Erin's mint chocolate chip carton, putting the whole thing in his mouth, "You wanna bite Squirt?"

"That's _Mommy's_ ," Kate told him seriously, then broke out into a smile, "Yeah!"

Jay dug the spoon back in and handed it to Kate, which she happily accepted. After she swallowed, she shivered, "'s too cold for ice cream."

He chuckled and set the carton back in the fridge, "You're right. How about we get started on the hot chocolate then, huh? Do you remember where we put it last time?"

"By the coffee," Kate gestured to the cupboard that housed the dark roast, "I think Mommy bought the one with the marsh-mellows inside."

"She did," Jay confirmed, pulling the box down, "Are you ready for the best hot chocolate you ever tasted?"

Kate nodded eagerly, "Don't go sneakin' Mommy's though."

"That's my girl," Erin returned to the kitchen, wearing her matching snow pajamas as well, "Thanks for keeping an eye on your daddy baby." She leaned down to whisper in Kate's ear, "When we're at work, sometimes he sneaks my coffee when I'm not looking."

The little girl turned to her father with her mouth open. "I do not!" Jay refuted, pouring the hot chocolate mix into a measuring cup and adding milk, "You drink it _black._ It tastes like tar."

"What's tar?" Kate asked, "Does that mean it's bad?"

"Daddy's just being silly," Erin wrinkled her nose at her fiancé, "Coffee tastes good. But only for grown-ups. It's a bit bitter and has caffeine in it that makes you stay awake, so it's not for kids."

"Sergeant Platt said that's how come I don't have it," Kate nodded, "But she don't say it tasted like _tar._ "

"It's an expression, kiddo," Jay tried, forever impressed with his child's intellect, "Tar is what the put on the roads for cars."

Kate wrinkled her nose just as Erin had, "How come you know what it tastes like?"

Jay looked to Erin for help, but she shot him a look, intent on ribbing her partner further, "Yeah Jay, how do you know what it tastes like?"

"Argh!" Jay scooped Kate up from the counter and tickled her, "You're too smart for me, you know that?"

"Ah!" Kate squeaked with delight, "Dat tickles!" She squirmed out of his embrace and proceeded to clutch his legs, "I got you now!"

"Oh no you don't!" he replied playfully, turning the little girl upside down as she laughed, "I got you."

"Jay!" Erin exclaimed, unable to keep the smile off her face as her daughter laughed uncontrollably. He flipped her upside down again before boosting her into the air and giving her a gentle shake. "Careful!"

"Ah!" Kate giggled as Jay set her down, "Can't get me!" She raced across the living room and crouched behind the couch, still laughing. Jay wiggled his fingers tauntingly, taking slow and deliberate steps toward the little girl.

"I'm gonna getcha," he teased from a slightly crouched position, Kate still giggling from behind the couch, "I'm gonna getcha and I'm gonna…eatcha!"

Kate squealed again just as Erin leapt onto Jay's back playfully, tackling him on the couch. "I got him, Kate, run!"

"No fair!" Jay exclaimed, "Two against one!"

"Too bad," Erin quipped, perching herself on his midsection as he laid on the couch, "You're trapped."

"What does a guy have to do to get out of this?" He asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively, "Does the couch need a functionality test again?"

"Mm, maybe," Erin leaned down and pressed a kiss on his lips. After letting her linger on his lips, in one motion, Jay hoisted Erin off his body and escaped from her pin. "Hey!"

"Ah-ha, I'm free!" He cheered, glancing around for Kate, "Where'd she go?"

"Gotcha!" Kate cried, rushing out from behind the kitchen counter and barreling into her father's legs.

"Ahh!" Jay shouted, pretending that the force of her hitting his legs knocked him back onto the couch by Erin's feet, "Sneak attack!"

Kate clambered on top of her father and he held her closely, "Well, where'd you learn stealth tactics like that, huh?"

"Mommy taught me," Kate replied seriously, looking over to her mother who was maneuvering from beneath Jay leaning against her legs, "She said that sometimes at work, you guys gotta be sneaky."

"I taught you well then," Erin mused, leaning against Jay's shoulder, "You came out of nowhere."

Kate nodded with a smile, giggling as Jay's fingers danced across her back teasingly, "Daddy, we _winned,_ you can't be ticklin' now!"

"Is that so?" Jay teased, tickling her tiny feet. Kate let out a joyous squeal, kicking her feet slightly. She squeaked again, but this time her face fell and she grimaced in what appeared to be discomfort.

Instantly, her father drew his hands back, "Did I hurt you, kiddo?" He asked quickly, glancing worriedly to Erin after taking in his little girl's pained expression, "Are you okay?"

Kate nodded gingerly and forced a smile, "I fine!"

"Are you sure?" Jay raised his eyebrows skeptically, "You look like you're hurting a bit. Did I scratch you?" He was becoming increasingly paranoid thinking that he may have inadvertently caused his daughter pain, "What hurts?"

She shook her head, "I'm o-okay."

"Babes, remember what we talked about? We need you to tell us when you're not feeling good, that way we can help, okay?" Erin tucked some of Kate's hair behind her ears, "Are you feeling sick?"

Kate shook her head again, "No, no, I was just laughin' too much," she offered a smile, "It's okay."

"Laughing so much hurt your tummy, huh?" Erin concluded, rubbing Jay's shoulder with one hand so he would recognize that his daughter's pain wasn't his fault, "That happens sometimes to me too, but you've got an extra-sensitive belly. I guess we were just having too much fun."

Kate nodded seriously, still smiling, "I _like_ bein' silly with you and Daddy."

"We love being silly with you too, but we don't want you to be in pain." Jay kissed Kate's forehead, "How about if we take it easy for a few hours? Maybe get started on the fort and then we can read some Harry Potter?"

"Mm, that sounds like a plan," Erin agreed, "And I'm pretty sure you left the milk in the microwave, Halstead."

* * *

With Erin's massive collection of pillows, the fort that they were able to construct was quite extensive. All of Kate's blankets, their summer quilts, spare sheets and even a few spare towels were used in the most elaborate fort any of them had ever been privy to. It covered the couch and practically the entire living room, supported by the bar stools, chairs and table. "This is quite the set up," Jay mused, crawling beneath the blankets to the center of the fort that housed the couch cushions and biggest pillows, "I don't think I've ever seen a fort this big!"

"Me neither!" Kate nodded vigorously, sitting cross legged on one of the pillows, "It's so cool!"

"How are you feeling baby?" Erin asked as she leaned against the couch amidst all the pillows, "How's your tummy?"

"Good!" Kate replied, shimmying toward her mother and cuddling up next to her, "I'm nice and warm too."

"I'm so glad babes," Erin kissed the top of Kate's head, "How about some Harry Potter?"

Kate nodded again, snuggling closer, "Daddy, you gonna read?"

"You bet," Jay pulled out the book, "You know, I wasn't a huge reader as a kid. But actually, one time we had a snow day and Will and I sat in our own fort and read books." He smiled wistfully, "My mom was so surprised, especially since Will _never_ read at all."

"How'd he get to be a doctor then?" Kate looked up at her father quizzically, "I thought you had to _read_ to be a doctor."

He chuckled, "Well, he made up for it a bit later in life I guess."

"Did you make forts too, Mommy?" Kate asked sweetly as Erin gently ran her hand over Kate's back, "And read books?"

She swallowed, unsure of how to answer her little girl's question. Erin had told Kate bits and pieces of her life growing up and how she dealt with Bunny and her many men, but she always tried to leave out the most painful memories: the abuse, the drugs, the _sex_. Her little girl had been through so much in her short life, and Erin didn't want to burden her any more. "Well, my snow day experiences were a little different than Daddy's," Erin said honestly after Jay gave her a sympathetic smile and a nod, indicating that it was up to Erin to say as much as she was comfortable with, "My mom...she wasn't there for us really. Ever."

"Oh," Kate whispered, immediately sensing her mother's sadness, "I-I didn't mean to make you sad."

"Not at all, baby," Erin assured her, "It's completely alright for you to ask me questions. And to be honest, the first snow day I ever really had was with Grandpa Hank's wife, Camille, and his son, Justin. Before that, I…I don't really remember much." She looked over to Jay, "I remember that it was always really cold. And Bunny, she…she wasn't around a lot, so the places we lived wouldn't be warm. Sometimes we had blankets and stuff, but when I was young, I would try to make sure Teddy was okay."

"Who-who's Teddy?" Kate asked quietly.

Erin paused again, realizing that she hadn't ever told her daughter about her half-brother. Jay knew about him after their case that took them to New York, but he respected her privacy about her complicated family dynamic. "Um, he's my half-brother. His dad and him lived with us for a bit but then his dad left us. And since Bunny left us alone a lot, it would be the two of us."

Kate nodded, processing her mother's story, "Is he 'live?"

Erin swallowed and nodded again, "Yeah, um, he was living in New York for a bit and then was back in Chicago and now he's out in Florida. I haven't talked to him in a while, but we exchanged emails a few weeks back and he's doing really well."

"Glad to hear it," Jay piped up, gently stroking Erin's pajamaed knee with his thumb, "He's probably much warmer down there."

Erin smiled sadly, "He definitely is. And to answer your question baby, I think this is the first blanket fort I ever made. But when I lived with Grandpa Hank and Camille and Justin, Camille used to bring me books from the library so I could get better at reading, since growing up with Bunny I didn't go to school as regularly as I should have. She used to have Justin and I read every night before bed instead of watching TV or playing video games. And it paid off, because I graduated high school and joined the CPD."

"And then you met Daddy!" Kate exclaimed.

"You're absolutely right. Then I met Daddy and _then_ we found you." Erin booped Kate on the nose and she giggled.

* * *

"Looks like we're out of milk, eggs and pancake mix," Jay called after poking around in the refrigerator, "We're also out of bananas."

"Aw, man," Erin wrinkled her nose, "We've really been bad about the whole getting groceries thing." She connected a puzzle piece into its proper place, "What about frozen pizza?"

After a chapter of Harry Potter, their family decided that it was too early for all of them to fall asleep. Jay located an old puzzle that Hank had brought by for Kate and set it up on the round coffee table. His patient little girl was captivated by how the pieces fit together, but his stubborn fiancé was less than enthused, choosing to focus on her daughter rather than the intricate design of the puzzle.

They decided on breakfast-for-dinner, as they were long overdue for chocolate chip pancakes due to the mishap with DCFS and Intelligence's busy schedule. Unfortunately, the hectic work week meant that they were sparse on groceries, having not had a chance to pick up some of the essentials.

"Out of that too," Jay declared, shutting the freezer. He smiled at the scene in front of him, both his girls concentrating on the puzzle that sat on the coffee table. Kate was wrapped up in her pink blanket, studying each piece intently as she sat on the floor beside her mother. "What if I ran down the street quickly? It's a short walk, and I can get milk, eggs and pancake mix there so we can still have breakfast for dinner."

"But it's cold, Daddy," Kate piped up, glancing up at her father while still holding a puzzle piece in her tiny hand, "I can hear the wind."

Jay smiled at his daughter's thoughtfulness, "I know kiddo, but we gotta have dinner. Can't let my girls go hungry."

"Don't be too long, babe," Erin called out while Jay donned his winter coat, boots and hat, "We need your help on this puzzle. And it was _your_ idea."

"I'll be right back," Jay promised, slipping out the front door.

* * *

"I can't find where this piece fits," Kate held out a puzzle piece to her mother, "It's blue but it's not fittin' with the odder blue ones." She paused, observing Erin's contorted facial expression, "Mommy? A-are you okay?"

"Mm-hm," Erin nodded grimly, opening her eyes to see her little girl looking concernedly up at her, "Sorry, baby, what did you say?"

"I can't fit this one." She placed the offending piece on the coffee table, "It don't fit anywhere."

"Hm," Erin picked up the piece and examined it, "Maybe there's another blue sect-ah!" She gasped as a sharp pang of pain tore through her belly, "Ah, ah."

"Mommy!" Kate cried, scrambling to her feet. Erin was doubled over in pain, clutching her stomach as distressed whimpers escaped her lips before she could stop them. Beats of sweat formed on her forehead as the room swam in front of her, her little girl's voice drowned out by the pain radiating from her abdomen.

Erin groaned, the room coming into focus again, "K-Kate," she gritted out, trying to locate her daughter through her blurred vision, "Kate?"

"I'm here, Mommy." Kate knelt in front of her mother and placed her cold little hand on her mother's cheek, "A-are you hurt?"

"I-I don't know," Erin managed, sucking in a breath as another wave of pain hit, "D-do you remember how to call Daddy?" Tears formed in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she tried to get a grip on herself for her daughter's sake.

Kate nodded and jumped to her feet. She clambered onto the tall breakfast bar chair to reach Erin's cell phone, which was plugged into the wall. Like her parents had taught her, Kate unlocked the phone and found her father's number.

"I just checked out," Jay answered the call, "Did we forget something?"

"Daddy, you gotta come home. M-Mommy's hurt real bad," Kate rushed out, her small voice sounding close to tears, "S-she's cryin' and she needs you now."

Jay nearly dropped the groceries, "Kate, what's going on? Mommy's hurt?"

"Yes, Mommy's hurt, I-I need you to come home _now,_ " Kate said, glancing over to her mother who remained in agony on the living room floor, "Please, hurry Daddy."

"I'm coming kiddo, I'm coming. Do you think you stay on the phone for me?" Jay left the bag of groceries on the floor of the shop and raced out of the building. His boots crunched on the snow as he ran down the block, intent on closing the gap between him and his girls as soon as possible.

Kate stood on the stool, watching as her mother clutched her belly in anguish, eyes squeezed shut. "Daddy, you gotta hurry. You gotta help Mommy."

"Kate, don't hang up, okay?" Jay panted as he sprinted down the block, cold air burning his lungs, "Tell me what's going on."

"Ah!" Erin yelped.

"Mommy!" Kate shrieked, "Daddy, hurry, hurry!"

"Kate? Kate?" Jay shouted into the receiver. He glanced at the phone and cursed loudly at the black screen. It was so cold that the phone could literally not function. A million thoughts raced through his head, but all he cared about was getting to his family.

"Daddy?" Kate asked into the phone. When he didn't reply, she jumped down from the stool and crouched in front of her mother, "Mommy, what hurts?"

"I-it's just my tummy, sweetheart," Erin managed, trying but failing to keep the pain out of her voice for her daughter, "I'm okay."

"No, you hurt," Kate argued, stroking her mother's cheeks with her tiny fingers, "Daddy's comin', I called him."

"G-good girl," Erin tried to smile, but another stab of pain brought tears to her eyes, "Ah, ow, ow." Another groan escaped her lips before she could stop it.

"Hold my hand," Kate instructed, taking her mother's clammy palm in her own, "You-you gotta keep talkin' to me, you gotta stay 'wake."

"I know," Erin groaned, holding tight to Kate's hand, "You called Jay?"

"He's coming," Kate said, squeezing Erin's hand back, "What happened? Did-did you step on a Lego?"

"N-no, no, it's my stomach," Erin hissed, the other arm banded around her abdomen as the pain radiated from her core, "It feels like-ah!" She screwed her eyes closed tightly, trying to ride it out, "Ah!"

"Mommy!" She yelped, glancing down at her mother's pained position, "You-you bleedin'!"

"W-what?" Erin struggled to re-open her eyes and looked down to see her matching snowflake pajamas turning crimson.


	56. Chapter 56

**Thanks for waiting. Please leave a review if you get a chance - I do love reading them!**

* * *

"Mommy," Kate begged, squeezing her mother's hand tightly with one tiny hand and stroking her cheek with the other, "Daddy's comin', okay?"

Erin nodded feebly, blinking as the pain in her pelvis intensified again. Tears steadily dripped down her cheeks as she was comforted by her four-year-old, whose maturity in the current situation astounded her. "Thank you, baby," she whispered, giving her child a weak squeeze.

"Should I call Uncle Will? Or Grandpa Hank?" Kate looked nervously at her mother's pained expression, "I-I don't like seeing you hurt."

"I know," Erin managed, "Daddy should be here soon though."

As if on cue, a winded and freezing Jay burst into the apartment, causing Kate to nearly jump out of her skin. She instantly relaxed when she realized who it was. Before Jay could even open his mouth, the little girl stood and raced toward him to bring him to Erin. "Daddy, Mommy needs help!" She called, appearing close to tears but somehow holding it together, "S-she's hurtin' and she's _bleedin'._ "

"Okay, okay," Jay said breathlessly. Without taking his coat off, he hurried across the living room and sank to his knees beside his fiancé, "What's happening, babe?"

He cupped her flushed cheeks with his freezing hands, gently wiping the tears that continued to stream down her cheeks. "H-hurts," she choked out, overwhelmingly thankful that her partner is arrived, "M-my stomach."

"She's _bleedin',_ " Kate repeated, kneeling beside Erin's head. She gestured to her mother's snowflake pajama bottoms that were red with blood.

He glanced down at her lap and winced. "Oh, babe," Jay kissed her forehead, "We've gotta get you to the hospital, okay?"

She nodded, in too much pain to fight the prospect of the hospital, "C-c-call Nat."

"I will," Jay nodded, "Let's get you to the car, alright?" He glanced around the room in search of his daughter, "Kate? Where'd you go kiddo, we gotta get Mommy to the hospital."

"I got Mommy's coat," Kate replied. She stood by the door, already wearing her boots and winter jacket, "We goin' right now?"

"Good girl," Jay praised, "Yep, we're going right now. Can you get Mommy's phone and wallet from the kitchen counter, please?"

"I got them a-ready," Kate reached into the pockets of her mother's coat to reveal her house keys, wallet and phone. "Wha'bout a change of clothes?" she asked while Jay gently maneuvered Erin so that she could stand, "For Mommy?"

"Great idea kiddo," he said proudly, "Can you go grab some clothes for Mommy while we get ready to go?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded and handed her father the coat before dashing to their bedroom.

"She's incredible," Erin stammered as she cautiously got to her feet, still wincing at the ache in her stomach, "Blows my mind."

Jay gave a small smile as he helped her with the heavy winter coat, "Let's get you to Med, alright?" He turned toward the bedroom just as Kate exited, holding a reusable shopping bag, "Great job, Squirt."

"We call Uncle Will now?" Kate looked up at her parents expectantly, noticing how her mother's face still contorted in pain. She caught her father's gaze, "Mommy's hurting."

"I know, and we're going to call him as soon as we get in the car," Jay said, leading Erin out of the apartment. She walked slowly and gingerly, but was able to remain upright, "I'm going to have you sit in the back with Kate, okay babe?"

Erin managed a nod as they stepped into the elevator after Kate, whose eyes remained nervously trained on her parent's every move. She climbed into her car seat while Jay helped Erin get settled beside her. Erin let out a breath of relief as she sat, closing her eyes and resting against the headrest. "You gotta stay 'wake," Kate instructed, taking Erin's freezing fingers in her own, "When you been bleedin', you gotta stay ah-wake."

"I'm awake, baby," Erin assured her, running her thumb over Kate's hand, "And you're right. How did you know that?"

She shrugged, "One time Mr. P hurt one of the ladies real bad. And I watched the odder ladies keep her talkin' til they could get her to an amb-lance cause the odder-time they let them just sleep and den they didn't wake up." Kate squeezed Erin's hand, "But you 'wake. But I'm still worried."

"Everything's going to be okay," Jay swallowed thickly and glanced in the rearview mirror to check on his girls, "Kiddo, do you think you could give Uncle Will a call? I don't want to do it while I'm driving."

"Like we practice?" Kate asked, reaching into Erin's pocket to extract the cell phone while her mother grimaced in pain.

"Yep," Jay nodded, continuing to speed to the hospital with the lights on the Sierra flashing, "Er?"

"Mm?" She cracked an eye open, pain written all over her face.

"How bad?" He asked, growing increasingly concerned when she didn't reply. A soft groan escaped her lips. "We'll be there soon."

"Uncle Will, it's not Daddy, it's Kate," the little girl said quickly, "H-he's drivin' to the hos-piddle right now 'cause Mommy is hurting really bad. And bleedin'." Erin hissed in pain again, "Daddy, Uncle Will says he and Dr. Manning are gonna wait for us."

"Perfect," Jay said, taking a sharp right, "Two minutes babe, we're almost there."

* * *

Jay peeled into the emergency entrance and leapt out of the driver's seat. Erin remained seated uncomfortably in the back beside Kate, her face pale and features screwed in anguish. "We're here, babe," Jay breathed, cupping her cheek with his palm, Kate struggling to undo the clasps on her car seat with her tiny hands, "Just a sec, Squirt, okay?"

"I got her, Jay," Natalie Manning pulled open Kate's door and assisted the little girl with the clips, "Hey there, Monkey, I heard you called Will for help, huh?"

"Mommy hurts and is bleedin'," Kate explained as Dr. Manning hoisted her out of the car and onto the ground. She held the bag of Erin's spare clothes closely, "You gotta help."

"We're going to do everything we can. What's going on, Erin?" Dr. Manning asked as Jay lifted her out of the car and cradled her against his chest, "How bad's the pain?"

"Bad," Erin gritted out, struggling to not squeeze her eyes shut again, "Bad."

"We're going to get that taken care of right away," Dr. Manning promised, taking Kate's hand and leading her into the ED, Jay at the rear with Erin still in his arms, "Let's get you in a bay and see what's going on, alright?"

"Erin!" Will exclaimed, hustling across the busy ED to his brother and almost sister-in-law. He turned to Dr. Manning, "Have we gotten bloodwork yet?"

She shook her head, "Just got here. Let's get a blood panel and some painkillers for Erin here, sound good?" Natalie grabbed the IV cable from a nurse and began to hang the bag.

"N-no painkillers," Erin managed, reaching for the young woman's arm, "I c-can't."

"Babe, you're in _pain_ ," Jay tried to argue as he attempted to take her winter coat off. "You're in agony and the meds could help with that."

Erin shook her head adamantly, "No. No-painkillers."

"Okay, that's fine," Natalie reasoned, "Let's get your coat off and get an IV started, and then we're going to run some tests, alright?"

The detectives nodded mutely. Jay helped his partner remove her winter coat and perched on the chair beside her. He could tell that she was in a great deal of pain, but it was just like her to refuse the pain medication. Given her history, he understood where she was coming from, but he _hated_ seeing his girl suffering. "Where's your kid, Jay?" Will asked, glancing at his brother worriedly, "She was the one who called me."

"I'm here," Kate whispered, standing behind her father as he sat rigidly by Erin's bedside. She was still clutching the grocery bag and wearing her winter coat.

"You did a great job today, Monkey," Will praised, squatting down in front of the little girl to meet her eyes, "Your folks and I are very proud of you."

"Is-is Mommy gonna be okay?" Kate asked quietly, glancing worriedly at her mother who laid in the hospital bed in obvious discomfort. Her father also appeared quite shaken up after the whole ordeal, and remained in his winter coat as he ran his thumb over Erin's hand.

Will nodded and held out a hand to the little girl, "What about if you and I took a trip to the cafeteria, hm?"

Kate shook her head, "But I wanna stay with Mommy."

Jay turned to face his little girl, "I know you do sweetheart, but we might be here for a bit. And you did such a good job taking care of her and I am so proud of you. Maybe you and Uncle Will could go get us something for dinner from the cafeteria? I know you don't want to leave, but this would be a big help."

He nodded slightly to his brother, knowing full well why his little girl didn't want to leave their side, but also understanding that she was quite possibly the most caring and intuitive little person on the planet, and would never pass up an opportunity to help her mother. "Okay," Kate nodded slowly, setting the bag down beside her father, "You-you stayin' with Mommy though, right?"

"Absolutely," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, still holding Erin's cold hand in his, "I love you so much, kiddo. And we're so proud of you."

"I love you baby," Erin whispered, cracking an eye open as she lay uneasily on the hospital bed, "Thank you for being such a good girl."

"Love you too," Kate murmured, leaning into Jay's embrace.

* * *

"How's the pain, Erin?" Will asked, re-entering the ED bay holding Kate's hand and a plastic bag of take-out containers. She was curled up on her side, one arm banded around her belly, the other clutching Jay's hand. He was stroking her cheek gently with his free hand, trying to bring about some semblance of relief to his stubborn fiancé who continually refused pain medication.

A moan answered his question. "It's bad," Jay supplied, running his thumb over her cheek to wipe a stray tear, "Any news?"

Will shook his head, "Nope, not yet. But Kate and I got some pancakes from the cafeteria, and we were going to head to the doctor's lounge to read a book." He glanced down at the little girl, who was just staring at her mother nervously. "Don't worry Monkey, your mom is going to be alright."

"She's still hurtin'," Kate whispered, tugging slightly on Will's hand, "How come Mommy still hurtin' so bad?"

"She's going to be okay," Jay tried to reassure his daughter as well as himself, "Dr. Manning is running a few tests, and we'll know more in a little bit. But it might be a while, so it would be good if you and Uncle Will could get out of here for a little bit." Will nodded at his brother's statement, eyes trained on the pained position Erin was folded in.

"I-I-I don't wanna leave her again." Tears that had been threatening to fall for hours finally sprung to Kate's eyes and cascaded down her cheeks as she looked up at her father, "I wanna stay here."

"I know kiddo," Jay replied lamely, removing his hand from Erin's cheek to extend to his daughter, "But I'm sure you'll have a better time with Will reading stories instead of sitting here."

Kate shook her head again, rooted in her spot standing at the end of Erin's bed. "I don't want nothin' to happen to Mommy if I leave."

Jay felt his heart clench. "She's going to be okay," he repeated, giving Erin's hand a light squeeze. "How about you sit with me for a bit, does that sound good?"

The little girl nodded and accepted a boost into her father's lap, where she instantly melted against him. "You've been so brave today." Jay pressed a kiss on top of his daughter's head, "And I can't tell you enough how proud I am of you."

"We're so proud of you, baby," Erin piped up, forcing her eyes open amidst the pain in her stomach. Over the past hour at the ED, it has digressed from a constant sharp stabbing to a painful ache with periodic bursts of agony. A thin sheen of sweat lined her forehead and her eyes were red with tears, but she felt lucid for the first time in the past two hours. "You were amazing back at home."

"I don't want you to hurt no more," Kate said, her voice muffled into Jay's chest, "I don't like it when you're hurt."

"I'm going to be okay," she managed, unwinding the arm that was banded around her midsection to touch her daughter's knee, "Because of you."

"Do you want me to call Voight?" Will asked quietly, placing the cold pancakes on the waiting chair next to Jay.

"I-I don't want him to worry," Erin whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut as a wave of pain blurred her vision, "He'll just worry."

"I know, but he could bring Kate home while we wait to hear from Nat," Jay said gently, resuming running his thumb over her hand, "It's getting late."

"I wanna stay with you!" Kate rushed out, tears making a reappearance on her cheeks, "I wanna stay _here._ "

"I'll call him," Will decided, stepping out of the room and leaving the family in the ED bay.

"I don't wanna go," Kate cried, "I wanna stay."

"Shh, kiddo," Jay rubbed her back with one hand, silently willing the little girl to stop crying, knowing that it was undoubtedly upsetting Erin even further, "It's okay."

Kate's tears subsided, but she remained clamped to Jay's chest as he attempted to comfort his fiancé, who continued to writhe with pain intermittently. He felt like a complete failure with both his girls upset, made worse by the fact that he had no idea how to make everything better.

* * *

Hank arrived twenty minutes later. Erin was still in an incredible amount of discomfort, and it broke his heart to see his daughter laying in the hospital bed. Jay sat beside her with Kate in his lap, trying to bring comfort to both of his girls. "Hey kid," Hank said thickly, taking a step into the ED bay, "How's she doing?"

"Not great," Jay replied, once again removing his hand from Erin's cheek but continuing to hold her other one, "But, um, we should know something soon."

"Hey Hank," Erin managed, turning her head slightly so she could see her father figure. His normally gruff demeanor looked rattled and sympathetic, forcing more tears to spring to her already-swollen eyes, "Thanks for coming."

"Anything for you, kiddo," Hank replied gently, taking another step toward the hospital bed, "Can I get you anything?

Erin shook her head slightly and closed her eyes as another wave of pain descended. "No pain meds," Jay whispered, gesturing slightly toward his hurting girl, "But hopefully we'll get some answers soon."

Hank nodded, understanding his daughter's decision. "You want me to take Kate home? I'm not sure how long you two are going to be here."

Jay nodded, kissing the top of Kate's head. He could tell that she was still awake, judging by the continued shudders that vibrated her tiny frame as she clung to her father. "Hey Squirt? Grandpa Hank's here."

The little girl lifted her head off of Jay's shoulder and turned to face her grandfather, "Hi Grandpa Hank," she mumbled, running a hand across her nose, "Mommy's hurtin'."

"I know," Hank took a step toward the bed and placed a comforting hand on Erin's blanketed skin, "But I was thinking that since your mom isn't feeling too well, you and I could go back home and-"

"I wanna stay with Mommy," Kate interrupted in protest, glancing over at her mother, "I-I don't wanna leave her."

"I know kiddo, but I think it would make her feel a whole lot better if you were at home," Hank said honestly, "And I think it would make your dad feel better too. And I'm sure when they come home, they'll come say good night."

"Please Squirt?" Jay pressed his nose into her soft hair, "I know it's been a tough day. But Grandpa Hank's right, Mommy and I would much rather have you sleeping at home than be stuck here, okay? And we'll be home soon, I promise."

It took a moment, but Kate nodded. She reached a tiny hand out and gently stroked her mother's shoulder. Erin opened her eyes at the contact and managed a meager smile. "I love you so much, baby," she choked out, willing herself not to burst into tears, "I'm so proud of you."

"I love you more," Kate whispered back as her father gave her a gentle hug good bye, "I packed Tiger for you." She climbed off Jay's lap and reached into the grocery bag, producing Tiger. "I thought he might make you feel better."

"Thank you, sweetheart," Erin managed, unable to keep the pain out of her voice, "I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"

* * *

A few minutes after Hank left with Kate, Natalie Manning returned to the ED bay, bearing Erin's chart. Jay was running a hand through Erin's snarled hair, the other resting on her aching belly. The pain had transitioned to a prolonged and painful ache, but the brutal onslaughts of pain had taken a backseat. "Hi," Natalie started, "How's the pain?"

"Less," Erin mumbled, turning her head from facing Jay so that she could see the doctor, "What's wrong?"

The young doctor took a step closer to the bed, "It appears that you experienced a miscarriage, Erin. You were about six weeks pregnant, and it isn't uncommon for a loss to occur in the first trimester."

Dr. Manning's words washed over the couple. _Miscarriage. Pregnant. Loss._

Erin shook her head, "No, I _can't_ get pregnant."

"I'm sorry, I really wish I had better news for you. But you _were_ pregnant Erin."

"No!" Erin shook her head again, "They-they said that I couldn't…I can't conceive. And-and I didn't even _know…_ "

Natalie smiled wistfully. "The blood tests confirmed that you were pregnant, and the pain you've been experiencing is indicative that there wasn't anything we could have done to prevent this."

Jay gave Erin's a gentle squeeze, "Babe?"

Erin shook her head, tears sluicing off her cheeks, "I-I-I lost it?" Her voice quivered, realization setting in, "The-the baby?"

"I'm so sorry," Natalie looked close to tears herself, "And I know you thought that you were unable to conceive. But this means that you do have a chance at carrying a child to term. Erin, many women suffer miscarriages and go on to have healthy babies. There is no reason to think that you can't try again, given that you _do_ have the ability to conceive." She offered another smile, "While this isn't good news, there is a bright side. You _are_ able to bear children."

Tears streamed down Erin's cheeks, the pain in her pelvis now taking residence in her chest, "I'm sorry," she wept, pulling her hand from Jay's grasp to cover her face, "I'm so sorry."

"This is not your fault, Er," Jay brought her close to him, cradling her head against his chest.

"There was nothing anyone could have done," Natalie informed her, placing a tender hand on Erin's foot, "Sometimes, these things just happen and nobody could have prevented this. But you _are_ able to try again, when you feel ready…"

Erin shook her head for what seemed like the millionth time, "No, no, no, I'm not." She burst into tears, "I'm not _ready._ "

"What you're experiencing is perfectly normal," she reassured the distraught detective, "If you like, I can give you the contact information of a therapist who might be able to help." Natalie offered another sad smile, catching Jay's eye as he smoothed his hands over Erin's sweaty hair, her body exhausted from the pain of the evening.

"Thanks Nat," he murmured, pressing a kiss on Erin's forehead as she struggled to control her breathing. A groan escaped her lips and she clutched her stomach.

"I know this is a lot, and I am so sorry for what you've been going through. I can give you some pain medication-"

"No," Erin interrupted, "T-thanks Nat, but I-I just can't. I-I just want to go home. When can I go home?"

"Alright," Natalie nodded, "I'd like to wait a few hours before discharging you, to ensure that nothing changes and so we can monitor your pain levels."

Erin nodded, running a hand underneath her nose as she sniffed, "I want to go _home._ "

"Soon, babe," Jay promised, threading his fingers through her hair, "Soon. Just a few minutes until you're in less pain, alright?"

She nodded shakily and curled into herself, resuming the position she had taken up earlier. "I'll be back to check on you a little later," Natalie said, pausing at the door, "And I'm here if you want to talk."


	57. Chapter 57

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"How's the pain, babe?" Jay gently stroked Erin's arm as she laid in the hospital bed, still curled up on her side. The hospital-issued pillow was still dotted with tears though Erin had ceased crying but remained silent. "Has it gotten any better?"

"I just want to go home," she mumbled, turning her head from the pillow to look up at her partner with red and swollen eyes, "I want to get out of here."

"I know," he replied, carefully running his fingers through her hair, "But if you're in pain, it might be better if we stay for a bit. Until you're not hurting."

"I feel fine now." Erin sat up, unable to keep the wince off her face but proceeded anyway. "Kate's probably up waiting for us anyway. And I don't want to keep Hank up either, so we should probably just go-"

"Babe," he breathed, remaining seated on the chair beside the bed, "She's fine. Hank's fine."

Erin shook her head, "No, she's worried. I _know_ she's worried, and I don't want her stomach to start to hurt or what if she gets sick from stress or-"

"Er," Jay cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder, "You've been through a lot. And I can tell you're still hurting, so please, for me, just take it easy, okay?"

"I've been taking it easy, Jay," Erin snapped, shrugging her shoulder away from her fiancé, "We've been in the hospital for six hours now. I just want to take a shower and go to bed."

Jay opened his mouth to protest, but Natalie entered the room. She offered a soft smile, "How are you feeling, Erin?"

"Fine," Erin said briskly, shedding the blanket off her lap and reaching for the shopping bag that Kate had packed, "Can I go home now?"

"If you're not in too much pain-"

"I'm fine," she insisted, "Jay, hand me that bag, would you? I want to get out of this godforsaken gown."

"I'll get the discharge papers," Natalie nodded, giving Jay a sympathetic glance.

"I should grab Will, tell him we're leaving," Jay stood, "Do you need a hand?"

"No," Erin said shortly, rifling through the bag. Her brilliant little girl had thought to pack her favorite pair of leggings, along with an oversized long sleeve t shirt from the police academy. He remained awkwardly in the doorway, unsure if leaving her alone was the right course of action. "I'm not made of glass, Halstead. You can leave me alone for five minutes," she huffed and gestured toward the door, "Go on."

"I'll be right back," Jay promised, making a quick left turn out of the ER bay, following Dr. Natalie Manning. "Hey, Nat," he called, as soon as Erin was out of earshot, "Nat!"

"Jay?" She turned around, surprise, "Is Erin okay?"

"Yeah, um, no…I don't know." Jay looked at the young doctor helplessly, "What-what do I do?"

She offered another sad smile, "She might experience some discomfort for the next few days. In my experience, these things can be hard on a couple, but you and Erin _will_ get through this. She'll tell you what she needs, Jay. You're one of the good ones, okay?" She touched his arm gently, "Let me know if you need anything, alright?"

He nodded wordlessly, "Um, can you tell Will that we're headed home?"

Natalie smiled again, "I will. You'll be okay, Jay."

"Thanks," he murmured, turning on his heel back to find his girl.

* * *

Erin sat silently in the passenger seat of Hank's car. She still appeared to be experiencing bouts of pain, but clamped her mouth shut, refusing to let any acknowledgment of aches or pains from her lips. Jay drove along the dark streets, acutely aware of the silence between them. "Are you hungry?" he asked finally, "I know it's late, but we can get drive-thru-"

"I'm fine." Erin raised her hand, "I just-I just want to shower. And go to bed."

He nodded and took a left turn, "Are you in pain?"

"I said, I'm fine, Jay," Erin replied, staring out the passenger window. "I'm fine, I just want to go home, okay?"

He grimaced but nodded again, turning onto their street. Jay knew that she was upset, but sometimes with Erin, it was better to not say anything. He pulled into the parking garage beside the Sierra and quickly disembarked, hurrying around the car to open the door for Erin. She scowled when he pulled it open, "I can open the door myself, you know," she muttered, planting her shaky feet on the ground.

Jay raised his hands in defeat, realizing that arguing with her would only make her angrier. He took a deep breath and tried not to take her bitter attitude personally. Instead, he took the grocery bag with her bloodied pajamas and trailed after his girl toward the elevator, frowning at each painful step she took. He could tell that she was in physical pain and emotional agony, but it was not the time to push her.

"Hey, kid," Hank greeted, getting up from the couch and turning off the TV when Jay entered, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm going to take a shower," Erin stated, skirting his question and immediately heading for the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Hank raised his eyebrows and looked at Jay suspiciously, "She…gonna be alright?"

Jay nodded weakly, "Um, with all due respect Sarge, I'll let her tell you?"

He nodded, "Is it what I think it is?" The older man glanced toward the closed bathroom door, "I deduced based on what Kate told me."

"Yeah," Jay exhaled, leaning against the counter top, "Yeah."

"I'm sorry, kid." Hank patted him on the shoulder, "Thanks for taking care of her."

Jay swallowed thickly, "Always, sir. And um, thanks for taking Kate. And for cleaning up in here. I forgot that we had made a fort earlier…with everything that happened, I…"

Hank shook his head, "Don't mention it, Jay. Kate was the one who insisted that we stop for groceries and also the one who wanted to make sure all the pillows were put away." He smiled, "She's a great kid."

Jay nodded again, "Yeah, she, uh, called me. I was down the road picking up a few things for dinner and she knew to call me and to keep Erin awake…" he trailed off, glancing at his daughter's bedroom door, "How'd she do?"

"She's strong," Hank confirmed, "No tears, just a lot of worry. But I checked on her a few minutes ago, and she seemed to be sleeping."

"Thank you," Jay said, letting out another breath, "I um, don't think she'll make it in tomorrow or I guess it's really today since it's late but-"

"You better not come in either," Hank insisted, "If she tries, I'll send her home. Same for you. Stay here with the kid, with Erin."

"Thank you," Jay repeated, offering a tired smile, "I um, I'm going to check on Kate."

"I'll see you on Monday," Hank said pointedly, "Not before then."

"Sunday for breakfast?" Jay raised his eyebrows, "I know Kate wouldn't want to miss that."

Hank managed a small smile, "Sunday for breakfast. But you better not be at the district until Monday, got it?"

"Yes, sir."

Jay quietly pushed open Kate's bedroom door and peered at the sleeping form on the bed. Kate was huddled beneath the covers, her tiny body dwarfed by the size of the full-sized bed. He crept closer and ran his fingertips across her angelic cheeks. He was relieved that she had been asleep when they got home. Kate's perception for other's emotions had him worried that she would pick up on Erin's agitation, but luckily the activity of the day caught up with her.

Knowing that one of his girls was safe in bed, Jay crossed the living room in search of Erin.

* * *

Erin Lindsay had failed.

At least, that's how she felt when Dr. Manning informed her that she had miscarried. She _knew_ when she saw the blood forming on the snowflake pajama bottoms that something terrible was happening, but she couldn't bring herself to admit that it was what she feared. The doctor, the gynecologist and the specialist had all told her that she had little chance at conception, let alone carrying a child to term. And while she hadn't realized that she actually _wanted_ a baby, the discovery that she could scared her even more. Not being able to have a child in the first place was one thing, but having the possibility and losing it before they were even trying frightened Erin to her very core.

She was sobbing, guttural, heart-wrenching sobs that echoed on the tiles as she sat on the shower floor. The water was hot as it poured over her, turning her fair skin pinker with every passing minute. She knew that it was only a matter of time before her partner entered, knowing that he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her alone to wallow in her sadness, but she couldn't bring herself to extract herself from the ground.

Her suspicions were confirmed minutes later by a soft knock at the bathroom door, followed by a "Babe?" She did nothing, and remained curled on the tiles, holding her legs to her chest like they were her lifeline. Another loud sob escaped her lips before she could stop it, and Jay opened the bathroom door. She doesn't meet his gaze, she couldn't meet his gaze, but she could feel his concerned baby blue's on her quivering form as she huddled beneath the stream, unwilling to make any moves.

It only makes her sob harder when he reached into the shower and turned off the powerful cascade before stepping into the glass chamber with her. He sank to his knees, dry pants be damned, and wrapped her in one of her fluffy grey towels. Erin could barely hear him through the pounding in her own head and the vibration of her aching heart as she sagged against him, whole body shuddering with painful sobs.

Jay grew quiet, just listening to his girl's heavy breath as she wept, unable to find the words to comfort her. He knew that there was nothing he could really say to take away the pain, so he remained, cradling her soaking wet head against his snowflake pajama top that he had forgone shedding before the ill-fated trip to the convenience store.

They had done their fair share of holding one another after particularly traumatic experiences – Jay holding Erin after Nadia died, Erin sitting rigidly beside her partner after Terry, after a particularly bad night with fireworks...but this particular ordeal felt like the pain of all they had endured together, rolled into one. Listening to Erin's cries reverberate off the tiled walls absolutely shattered Jay's heart.

"I'm here, babe," he choked out, holding her closer as she let out an agonizing wail, "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

It was nearing three in the morning by the time Erin's sobs had lessened and the tears stopped falling down Jay's cheeks. The bathroom had grown cold, Erin shivering violently against her partner with only a damp towel around her exhausted frame. Jay's sweats and snowflake top were soaked with tears and shower water, clinging to his body in chilled patches. Erin was still awake in his arms, shuddering intermittently. "How about we get into bed?" Jay managed, tenderly stroking her damp cheek with pruney fingers, "It's nice and warm in there."

Erin stifled a sob by turning her face into Jay's neck, attempting with all her might to mold herself into her fiancé's strong form. They were a mess of shivering, uncoordinated limbs as Jay tried to maneuver them out from the shower and into the bathroom, Erin clinging limply to the soggy towel and Jay's pajama shirt, unable to force her legs to bear weight. He hooked his tired arms underneath her knees and cradled his girl against chest before standing carefully atop the slippery tile.

After gingerly setting her on the toilet seat, Jay proceeded to wrap Erin in a fresh towel and dry her damp locks in an attempt to warm her up faster. "W-why?" Erin let out a strangled cry as he draped another towel over her thin shoulders and sank to his knees in front of her. He stopped his movements and peered into her broken hazel eyes sadly. Before he could open his mouth, more words tumbled from hers, "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what, babe?" Jay asked gently, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ears and running a hand over her goose-bump covered arm, "Am I hurting you?"

She shook her head, tears flying off in all directions as she stared up at him, "Why're you being so nice? I was _so mean_ to you today."

"You went through a lot in the past few hours," Jay replied honestly, reaching to the sink to grab Erin's favorite pull over of his, "I know how badly you're hurting Er, and I…I just want you to be okay."

Erin erupted in another sob, leaning forward into Jay's arms. He held her tightly, gently smoothing his hands over the towels, "I'm sorry," she wept, leaning back and dragging a shaking hand across her nose, "I-I guess I just have all these hormones rushing through my body and…" She burst into tears again, "W-what are we going to tell Kate?"

Jay pressed a kiss on her damp temple, letting his lips linger. He hadn't fully thought about what they were going to tell their brilliant little girl, how they were going to explain what had happened to her mother. "We'll figure it out," he breathed against the side of her head, "We'll find something to say."

She nodded weakly, leaning forward into his embrace again, "'m sorry that I scared you again. I'm sure it wasn't a good call to receive."

"I gotta say, you teaching Kate how to use the cell phone came in handy," Jay mused, threading his fingers through Erin's damp hair, "She knew just what to do."

 _"So, if you're ever in trouble, or you need me or Jay, you just call this number," Erin instructed, demonstrating how to push the buttons that appeared on the screen, "Do you remember what my number is?"_

 _Kate nodded slowly, holding Erin's cell phone gently in her palm, "I call you? And you come?"_

 _"That's how it works," Erin smiled, "Once you put the number in, you'll hear it ringing," she demonstrated on the phone in Kate's hand, ensuring that speaker was pressed, "And then, Jay or I will pick up."_

 _"Halstead," Jay said into the phone, holding it to his ear while he sat at his desk, "Hello? Er?"_

 _"Hey, babe, just teaching Kate how to call us if there's ever an emergency," Erin explained, giving Kate a smile, "See, baby? Jay's on the other end. And if we needed him, he could come home."_

 _The little girl looked up at Erin, alarmed. "H-how come Jay not comin' back?"_

 _"Oh no, he's coming back, but just a little bit later," Erin assured her, "Right Jay?"_

 _"Yep, I'll be back later tonight, Squirt," Jay promised, "I have a quick meeting in a few minutes, but don't worry, I'll be home soon."_

 _Kate seemed to relax slightly. She looked up at Erin curiously, "And if there was a 'mergency, Jay would come now?"_

 _"That's right," Erin confirmed, gently rubbing the child's thin arm. She had been living with them for just over two weeks and was still steadily warming up. Jay was headed to his veteran's support group meeting, so she had taken Kate home early from work since it had been a hot and slow summer day. "And same goes for me. If you call me, or Jay, we'll be there. No matter what."_

 _"If-if-if I got taked back?" Kate asked, now glancing nervously down at the glowing cell phone, "You would still come get me if I called?"_

 _"Absolutely," Jay's voice sounded choked up through the line, "Any time you need us."_

 _She breathed a sigh of relief and offered Erin a small smile, "That's good."_

"She had your number memorized, just like I taught her," Erin gave a watery smile and sniffed loudly, "God she's so smart."

Jay kissed the top of Erin's forehead, "And she's sleeping soundly, last I checked. You wanna climb into bed? Hank said there's no way in hell we're getting into the district tomorrow, so we get to sleep in."

" _You_ never sleep in," Erin scoffed, dragging her hand across her runny nose again, "You're always up before me. Starting at me like a creeper."

He chuckled, helping his girl to her still-unsteady feet, "How's the pain?"

She shrugged dejectedly, "Aches, still, I guess. Not bad." Erin swallowed thickly, "I'm fine."

"Remember when I said that I should get you a mug with that printed on it?" Jay raised his eyebrows, "C'mon babe, let's get you warmed up."

With gentle fingers, Jay helped Erin into the hoodie and a pair of worn sweatpants. He led her toward the bedroom, frowning slightly when he noticed how gingerly she was still walking. She eased onto the bed while he shed his saturated sweats and snowflake pajama top (that, if he was being honest, he never wanted to see again). "You're coming to bed though, right?" Erin looked up at him, appearing forlorn and fragile perched on the comforter, exhaustion written across her cheeks.

Jay nodded and reached into the bottom drawer of his dresser to retrieve an old heating pad that he last used after he had been kidnapped and tortured by Benji Keyes. He plugged it into the outlet beside Erin's nightstand and quickly closed the gap between the two of them, delicately placing the warm pad across her sore stomach. "Mm," she mumbled, struggling to widen her eyes in appreciation as he perched on the edge of the mattress, rubbing gentle circles atop the heating pad while she lay down, "You wanna get under the covers, Halstead?" Erin flashed the first tired smile of the day. Jay could have wept with relief at the reappearance of those dimples, "Sittin' up and staring at me creepily doesn't count as sleep."

He moved a hand from her stomach to cup her cheek, "I'm just glad you're here." Jay stroked her cheek tenderly with his thumbs and took a deep breath, "When Kate called I…" he trailed off, unable to complete the thought. Instead, he leaned forward to press a kiss on her lips, "I'm just glad you're here," he repeated, "So glad."

"'m glad too," Erin reached an arm out to stroke Jay's forearm, "I'm sorry for being so mean." Tears filled her tired eyes for the umpteenth time in the past few hours, "I-I-I don't deserve you."

Jay just shook his head, kissing Erin's lips gently, "Babe, you are the most incredible woman I know. You've been through so much today and…" He trailed off again, "I love you. And I am _always_ going to be here for you." Jay moved his hand to her heart, placing it against the diamond ring, "I promise. Nothing you do or say is going to make me let go, alright?" He kissed her forehead, not caring that he had probably kissed her a hundred times that evening. "And we're gonna be okay."

She nodded meekly, tugging at his t shirt, "Lay down with me," she begged, "I-I-I want you to hold me." Erin cast her eyes down, almost in shame. And again, Jay felt his heart clench at the sheer vulnerability of his incredibly guarded fiancé.

"Of course." He rounded the bed and climbed beneath the covers. Immediately, she shifted closer until they were intertwined, Jay's palms resting on her aching belly. "I love you," Erin murmured, nestling closer against his body, "Thank you."

"I got you," Jay replied into her neck, placing yet another kiss on her collarbone, "I got you, babe."


	58. Chapter 58

**Total honesty, I didn't think I was going to have any kind of chapter ready by this weekend but _somehow_ this one poured out of me. Let me know what you think (and I'm getting to some lighter stuff next time, promise!)**

* * *

Since moving in with Erin, Jay could count the number of times he awoke to a cold bed on one hand. Erin was _not_ a morning person, preferring to spend her mornings in a deep sleep rather than rising with the sun. Even if she did wake up before him, she was not a quiet mover and tended to shift around so much that he was wide awake by the time she took three steps.

On nights that were particularly bad, when he would wake up in a cold sweat, thinking he was back in Afghanistan, feeling the warm body of his partner to his right always grounded him and brought him back to Chicago. When it was Erin who awoke to comfort their daughter, she would always return to their bed, little girl in her arms.

In fact, Jay could count the number of times he woke up to cold sheets on one _finger._ And it had been the morning after Erin found out she couldn't bear children and had gone for an early morning run. So when he awoke to an empty bed the morning after Erin experienced a miscarriage, Jay's mind immediately thought the worst. The clock showed that it wasn't even five in the morning, but Jay flung the covers off and leapt off of bed, stumbling blearily toward the bedroom door.

He hurried into the living room and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw his little girl sitting on the couch, her tiny hand draped delicately across her mother's chest. Erin was fast asleep but held Kate's hand in her own while the little girl rested her head against the couch cushions, watching as her mother's chest rose and fell. She glanced up at her father and offered a small smile as he moved toward them and squatted beside the couch. "What are you doing up, Squirt?" he asked gently, placing a hand on her polar bear pajamas – he noticed that she had changed from their matching pair, probably for the same reason he shed his. Neither of them wanted to be reminded that Erin's pair were stained red with blood.

Instantly, the little girl became nervous, "I-I'm sorry, Daddy…I-I-I had a bad dream that Mommy was hurtin' and-and I came to see her and then she was out here and I didn't wanna leave her 'lone." Kate gave an apologetic look, "I-I'm sorry."

"Oh, kiddo, you don't have to be sorry," Jay whispered, standing to press a kiss atop her head, "You had a bad dream?"

Kate nodded sadly, "And den I was _worried_ 'bout Mommy. But when I came to find you guys, Mommy was layin' out here havin' a bad dream too."

"I see," Jay nodded, gently running his fingertips over Erin's cheeks, "You know you can wake me up if you're having a bad dream, right?" He looked to the little girl, "No matter what, you can always come get me."

"I know," Kate whispered, glancing down at Erin who was still sleeping, "But Mommy was _cryin'_ in her sleep and-and I didn't want her to be by herself 'cause when I'm scared I don't wanna be 'lone e-der. And Mommy don't leave me when I'm scared."

"You're a little angel, you know?" Jay praised, "How did we get so lucky to have you?"

Kate managed a smile, "I'm lucky too, Daddy."

Erin stirred slightly, grimacing as she dragged her eyes open, "Hi," she mumbled, tired eyes locking on Jay's concerned gaze. She titled her head slightly, realizing that her little girl was sitting by her head and holding her hand, "Hi, baby."

"How are you feeling?" Jay asked, tenderly stroking her cheek, "You didn't want to sleep in bed?"

"Couldn't sleep," she replied, giving the hand that Kate was holding a gentle shake, "You couldn't either, huh baby?"

"I had a bad dream," Kate explained, "And I didn't wanna leave you by yourself when you were havin' one, 'cause you never leave me." Erin smiled sadly at Kate's statement and caught Jay's gaze, realizing that he had already been filled in on the fact that she had been having a nightmare too.

"Do you wanna come cuddle in our bed?" Jay offered to the little girl, "That way nobody has to be alone?"

Kate nodded climbed off the couch, rushing back into her bedroom, presumably to grab Tiger and one of his friends. Jay held a hand out to Erin, "You alright?" He whispered when Kate was out of earshot, "How are you feeling?"

"I couldn't sleep," Erin replied, leaning against her partner as they slowly made their way into their bedroom, "I thought maybe if I watched a documentary or something but I guess I never turned the TV on."

Jay kissed her hair as he led her over to the edge of their mattress, smiling when Kate carefully climbed into the middle, Lion and Giraffe tucked in the crook of her arm. "You still hurtin' Mommy?" she asked quietly, observing from a short distance as her mother carefully sat on the mattress settled under the covers.

"I'm doing better," Erin promised, extending an arm so that Kate would understand it was okay to snuggle closer, "Really baby, I am. And it's all thanks to you for calling Daddy and making sure I was okay."

Kate tentatively inched closer to her mother, relaxing significantly when Erin kissed the top of her head, "Love you, Mommy," Kate murmured, breathing a sigh of relief, "I glad you gonna be okay."

* * *

For the second time that morning, Jay snapped his eyes open. At first, he wasn't sure what had woken him up but quickly remembered the ordeal that his family had been through in the past twelve hours. He propped himself up on his elbows and turned to his right to see Kate fast asleep, nestled against his rib cage.

Erin, on the other hand, was caught in another vicious nightmare. Her cheeks were flushed as she shifted in distress, dangerously close to the edge of their bed. "Babe," he whispered, reaching a hand over Kate's sleeping form to comfort his fiancé, "Er, it's alright." He carefully ran his fingertips across her forearm, sitting up straighter when his gentled ministrations didn't have the desired effect, "Babe."

Kate stirred, awoken by her father's movements. "Daddy?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly, "What's happ-nin?"

"Shh," Jay whispered to his daughter while continuing to stroke Erin's arm, "It's okay, kiddo, Mommy's just having a nightmare."

The little girl widened her eyes and turned to place a delicate palm on Erin's back, "'s okay, Mommy," she murmured, "Me 'n Daddy are here."

Her touch seemed to do the trick, because the young detective finally quieted, settling against the pillows with a soft exhalation. "Thanks, Squirt," Jay kissed the top of Kate's head, "Looks like you're the Mommy-whisperer."

Kate offered a small smile, "That's what Mommy does when you havin' a nightmare." She paused, "And when I am too."

Jay was quiet, "I see," he said finally, swallowing thickly, "Learned from the best, huh?"

* * *

Erin bolted upright and glanced around the bedroom rapidly. The rumpled sheets on Jay's side of the bed were cool, and Lion remained on his pillow, evidence that Kate had been there as well. She stifled a yawn, the sleep having been anything but restful, and swung her legs over the side of the mattress, shivering as the cold floor touched her feet. Her sleep had been plagued by nightmares, each one more horrific than the last.

She could hear the TV playing at a low volume and figured that Jay and Kate were watching another one of their animal documentary films that they were so fond of. Though they usually made her fall asleep, Erin loved that her little girl and partner had a special tradition between them.

The ache in her belly had dissipated significantly, though it had relocated to her chest. Nonetheless, Erin rose and wrapped herself in one of Jay's sweatshirts before padding to the living room, expecting to find her partner and her little girl.

Instead, she was faced with an empty room, neither Kate nor Jay anywhere to be found. She wrinkled her brow and poked her head into Kate's bedroom, but was once again faced with an empty room.

Panic set in, and Erin rushed back to the living room. "Kate?" she called out, "Jay?" She whirled around, suddenly overcome with the sensation that her nightmare was coming to fruition, "Jay?" Her voice cracked and tears spilled over her cheeks.

"Babe?" Jay emerged from the bathroom, damp towel in hand, "Hey, you're up. Sorry, I was just in the shower." He smiled softly, but it quickly faded when he saw the distress his girl was in, "What's wrong?"

"W-w-where's Kate?" Erin choked out, hurrying past her partner, in hopes of finding her daughter in the bathroom, "Where is she?"

"She's fine," Jay started, dropping the towel to the ground and taking Erin's shaking hands in his own, "She's with Hank, he came by earlier this morning to take her for the day." He brought a hand up to wipe the tears off Erin's cheeks, "He thought it might be nice for us to just spend the day together."

Erin bit back a sob, but another one burst through her lips before she could swallow it. "Oh, babe," Jay brought her close and held her against his dry Henley, "What is it? Are you in pain?"

She shook her head, face pressed into her fiancé's shoulder as he held her, weak whimpers rolling off her tongue in lieu of the words to explain why she was so upset. Jay was quiet, gently rubbing her back as she leaned against him. "I-I-I thought she had left. I-I thought you both did."

Jay's gaze softened as he kissed the top of her head and inhaled deeply, "I'm so sorry," he apologized, "I-I wasn't thinking…you were just finally sleeping and I thought-"

"It's fine," Erin pulled back slightly to look up at her partner with watery eyes, "'s not your fault. I-I just freaked out a little, I'm sorry."

He kissed her forehead, "Bad dream?" he asked knowingly, running a thumb over her damp cheek.

Erin managed a small nod before burying her face in his neck, "I thought you guys left me."

Jay felt his heart lurch. "Not going to happen," he replied fiercely, "No matter what. Kate and I love you, so much, Erin."

She shook her head and pushed him away, "No, Jay, I lost the baby. I lost _your_ baby." Her voice cracked, "H-how are you still putting me on a pedestal, Jay? I-I spent the night having a fucking panic attack in the shower and-and I barely slept, no doubt keeping you and Kate up and…" Erin pushed him away further when Jay tried to take a step toward her. "It's a sign. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm. not. supposed to be. a. mother," Erin spat, "The universe has decided that I shouldn't have a baby, and the universe is real fucking right."

"Erin, that could not be farther from the truth," Jay took her hand again, "You already _are_ a mother. A damn good one, at that. And what your body is capable of handling is not any reflection of your ability to be a good mom. This happens to lots of women."

Erin shook her head, "Yeah, but it isn't any those women's faults. This is on me. I used to do _drugs_ Jay. I used to sell myself on the street to get a fix for me, for my mom. I've been with some of the most low-life _disgusting_ guys and I let them do whatever they wanted to me."

Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks as she backed away, "I-I've stolen shit from random people on the sidewalk to buy drugs. I used to pick up dirtbags on the street and I used to get so high that I couldn't even _feel_ their hands on me, in me, all over me. I've woken up, drenched in my own vomit in a bed I didn't recognize more times than I can count."

"Er-" Jay tried, but she shook her head again.

"No, stop it, _stop it_. You think that I'm good, that I can be a good mother to your little girl, but I'm not. I'm a street kid, a junkie and I'm really fucking bad news. I come from bad news, and it's the people around me who end up paying for it." She swallowed and dragged a hand across her face, "Nadia paid the price, and I'm not going to put you or Kate through that, okay? With me, it's just a series of disappointments, over and over again."

" _Erin._ " Jay closed the gap between himself and his fiancé, "Stop, babe, please."

"No!" She shouted, shoving him back, "I'm just going to hurt you, Jay. I'm going to lose baby after baby and-and I can't give you a family."

"You've _given_ me a family," Jay insisted, stepping closer, "We've talked about this before babe. You've given me everything. And you are _incredible._ You've overcome and gotten through so much, and you _will_ get through this. We'll get through it, together, okay?"

He brought his hands up to her cheeks, his girl crying in earnest now, "When I tried to push you away, you wouldn't let me. And now, I'm not letting you." He brought her closer, "We both have our demons, lord knows I have mine, but neither of us have to handle them alone." Jay kissed her forehead tenderly, tears forming behind his eyes, "Erin, every time you doubt yourself, you break my heart, because _you_ are the strongest, most incredible woman and mother I know. And you've been there for me when I've needed you. And I'm here for you. I don't care if you cry on the bathroom floor every night, I am going to be there to hold you. And all I want if for you to see yourself the way I see you. Despite everything when you were growing up, you have come out on the other side. You brought me out of the darkness, and you have brought Kate from being a petrified little girl to _our_ brilliant daughter."

Jay paused, allowing his words to wash over his partner as she wept against him. Leaving the damp towel on the ground, Jay wrapped his arms beneath her knees and carried his girl to the couch, settling against the dark cushions with Erin still cradled against his chest. "I got you, babe, and I'm not letting go."

* * *

"I'm sorry," Erin murmured, her breath finally evening out as she rested against her partner. Jay held her while she continued to battle her inner demons, holding true to his promise of not letting her go. After a while, she ran out of what seemed to be an endless supply of tears, but remained pressed against his chest, unwilling to put even an inch between them.

"You've got _nothing_ to apologize for," Jay emphasized, his fingers gently massaging her tightly-coiled muscles, "It's been a hard few days."

"'s been hard for you too," Erin mumbled against his neck, "Not just me."

He nodded, "It's been hard for all of us. But it's going to get better, okay?"

"I know," she replied, reaching a hand up to stroke the stubble on his cheek, "Thank you. For being here."

"Always," Jay promised. "Always." He turned his head to kiss her again, "I'll always be here. Whether you want to have a baby, or if you don't, I'm going to be here for you."

"I-I'm not ready," Erin rushed out, pulling back in alarm, "I'm not ready for a baby. I-I know Nat said I can have one, b-but I'm not ready."

"That's okay," Jay assured her quickly, "It's up to you, babe, no pressure whatsoever, okay? You have already given me so much, and a baby is a big step. We have time." He placed a hand on her chest, feeling the diamond ring beneath his palm, "We have a _lifetime._ "

She nodded weakly, repositioning her head on his shoulder. After a moment, she spoke again. "What…what are we going to tell Kate?"

Jay was quiet. He hadn't thought about what they were going to tell their incredibly perceptive and intelligent child. It wasn't a conversation they could avoid either, as Kate had been in the hospital and witnessed the pain her mother was in. "How am I supposed to explain to my little girl, who I didn't even give birth to, that her little brother or sister was lost before I even knew I was pregnant?" Erin took a deep, shuddering breath, willing herself to not burst into tears again, "I don't want to upset her."

"She's smart," Jay said slowly, "So I think we can tell her the truth. If you're comfortable with that."

Erin nodded in agreement. "Okay."

* * *

"Hey, Squirt!" Jay greeted, opening the apartment door to Hank and Kate, who stood in the hallway of their building, "How was your day?"

"Good," Kate replied, leaning into her father's embrace tiredly, "Me and Grandpa Hank did some cookin' and bakin' and we played board games."

"Wow, busy day, huh?" Jay smiled, standing up and adjusting Kate on his hip. He smiled gratefully at the older man, "Thanks for having her."

"My pleasure," Hank replied gruffly, taking a step into the apartment, "We made some French onion soup, and there's a casserole in there for tomorrow."

"And we made choc-lit chip cookies," Kate informed her father, pointing to the second bag that Hank was carrying. She leaned to whisper in Jay's ear, "I got to put extra choc-lit chips in there."

"Mm, that sounds delicious," Jay kissed Kate's head, "You know what? I'm sure Mommy would like a cookie. You wanna bring one to her?"

"Before dinner?" Kate looked excitedly, "Where's Mommy?"

"I think she's reading a book on the couch," Jay smiled, setting Kate down. Hank reached into the bag and produced the box of cookies.

"She's okay?" Kate asked nervously, holding the box in her small hands, "Mommy's doin' better?"

"Much better," Jay nodded, constantly amazed by his daughter's intuition, "She's going to be really excited to see you."

Kate relaxed and smiled again. "Thanks for playin' with me, Grandpa Hank!"

"Anytime, kiddo," Hank replied, "I'll be in to say hi to your Mommy in a bit, but your Dad and I are going to have a quick chat about work."

"'kay!" Kate replied, scurrying toward the couch. Erin was curled up on the far end, knees drawn to her chest and blanket spread over her body as she concentrated on a book that Annie had recommended. "Hi Mommy." Kate said quietly, approaching the couch slowly.

"Hi baby!" Erin set the book down and grinned, "Wow, I am so glad to see you."

"I made cookies with Grandpa Hank," she explained, extending the box toward her mother, appearing slightly nervous, "You-you feelin' better?"

"Much better," Erin smiled, "And I would love a cookie. But I would love a hug and some snuggles from you first." She extended her arms and Kate hastily set the cookies on the coffee table before snuggling against her mother. "Gosh, I missed you today."

"I missed you more," Kate replied, cuddling closer, "I'm glad you're feelin' better. I was worried 'bout you."

"I know, my love, but I'm okay now," Erin kissed Kate's soft hair, "And maybe after dinner, we can talk about it? If that's alright with you?"

Kate nodded again, "I just glad you gonna be okay."


	59. Chapter 59

**Hi! Sorry for the longer wait - please let me know what you think! I've got a few things planned that I'm excited about, so stay tuned.**

* * *

Despite Kate's intelligence, Erin and Jay were not fully confident that she understood exactly what had happened to her mother. After bidding Hank goodnight, Erin and Jay sat with Kate on the couch to explain events of the past day. The little girl was mostly quiet, listening intently to what her parents were saying. At the end of the conversation, she just held fast to Erin, trying to provide as much comfort as the little girl could. When they asked her if she had any questions, Kate just shook her head and continued to hold her mother gently, as if letting go would allow her to disappear into thin air.

Over the next few days, the was a marked shift in the demeanor of their household. Kate appeared slightly more nervous around her parents, quiet and more withdrawn than she had been before the miscarriage. All things considered, Erin was doing relatively okay. All she wanted was for things to get back to normal, a normal they hadn't been able to have in weeks due to the never-ending onslaught of drama.

Kate let out a yawn for the fifth time in as many minutes, "Tired, huh, kiddo?" Jay asked, glancing into the rear view mirror before pulling into the parking garage. "Are you excited to be back at school?"

She shrugged and yawned again as Jay put the car into park. "Mommy's at home?"

"Yep," Jay nodded, unbuckling the little girl from her car seat and placing her on the ground before taking her backpack off the floor, "Doctor Manning thought it would be good for Mommy to take it easy, so Grandpa Hank sent her home for a nap at lunch time."

"She's okay?" Kate looked up at her father, alarmed, "Mommy's not hurt, right?"

"Nope, totally fine," Jay assured her, taking her hand as they crossed the parking garage to the elevator, "And I think she did some cooking too, but she didn't tell me what she was making."

Kate was quiet as they rode the elevator to the third floor. "Hey babe, we're home," Jay called out, helping Kate take her coat off and hang it on the hook, "Smells amazing in here."

"I made chicken parm," Erin peered around the corner from the kitchen, "From scratch."

"No way," Jay broke out into a huge smile, "You made my one of my favorite meals?"

"Mm-hm," Erin crossed the entry way to press a kiss to her partner's lips, "How was your afternoon?"

"Uneventful," Jay informed her, wiping a stray streak of tomato sauce from her cheek, "I'm starving though."

"For something new and different," Erin rolled her eyes, "Hi baby, did you have a good day at school?"

"Uh-huh," Kate nodded, gingerly hugging her mother when Erin sank down to her level, "And I got to play with Goose while Daddy was workin'."

"Wow, that sounds like fun." Erin stood, "You wanna wash your hands, and then we can have some dinner?"

Kate nodded again and stifled a yawn before heading toward the bathroom. Erin raised her eyebrows, "She's _exhausted._ "

Jay nodded in agreement, "She almost fell asleep in the car and has yawned more times than I can count."

"Well, it was her first day back in a week. And Platt texted me this picture." Erin held out her cell phone to Jay, showing a picture of Kate sitting beside Goose, the police dog, reading from a picture book.

Jay smiled and reached into the cupboard to set the table, "Well, she's been sleeping through the night for the past few days." He paused, "Maybe she's getting sick?"

"God, I hope not," Erin took the plates from his hands and placed them on the kitchen table, "She's just getting healthy again and she's finally back at school."

Kate emerged from the bathroom and settled into her seat at the table. "You hungry, baby?" Erin asked, sliding a piece of chicken parmesan onto the child's plate, "I know you had a busy day."

She nodded and gave a small smile as Jay helped himself to a large piece of chicken. "You know chicken parm is one of my favorite foods," he wiggled his eyebrows at his daughter, "I could eat it seven days a week."

"It's very yummy," Kate agreed, "I like it!"

"It's amazing," Jay agreed, mouth full of mozzarella and chicken, "Great job, babe."

* * *

"Okay, kiddo, I think it's time for bed," Jay stroked Kate's arm as she sat in his lap, Erin having just finished reading the third story of the evening, "It's getting late and you're exhausted."

"I'm not tired," Kate replied quickly, widening her eyes to prove a point, "I-I don't wanna go to sleep."

"I know, but you've got school in the morning, and Daddy and I have work," Erin tucked some of Kate's hair behind her small ears, "We could all use a good night's rest."

Kate frowned but nodded. She wasn't the type of child to put up a fight, so she climbed off of Jay's lap and silently headed for the bathroom to brush her teeth. "Something's up," Erin determined, looking at Jay pointedly, "Did she say anything to you?"

Jay shook his head and got to his feet, "No, she's just been tired. But she's been sleeping through the night."

"Maybe we're not hearing her?" Erin glanced over Jay's shoulder to see if her little girl was emerging from the bathroom yet.

"The monitor is right by my head," Jay insisted, "She's been sleeping soundly. And when I checked on her last night, she was asleep."

Erin furrowed her brow and headed for Kate's bedroom. "Jay," she called, "Come here."

"What is it?" He leaned against the door frame to his daughter's room. Everything was in its place, from the legos in their bin to the stuffed animals lined on her bed. "She's not hiding drugs or anything right? She's too young for that."

"No, babe, she unplugged the monitor," Erin hissed so Kate wouldn't hear them, holding up the baby monitor that usually sat on Kate's bedside, "That's why we haven't heard her for the past three days."

Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise. The fact that his child was so smart that she knew to unplug the baby monitor so that her parents wouldn't hear her having nightmares simultaneously broke his heart and impressed him. "Oh, kiddo," he murmured, "So she hasn't been sleeping."

Erin nodded sadly, "I-I think it's because of me. She said the other day that she didn't want us to worry about her, and _this_ is why. Oh, god…"

"Babe, she's going to be fine. We'll talk to her." Jay pulled Erin close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder before pulling back worriedly.

"She's been in the bathroom for a while," Erin said quickly, turning for the living room. "Kate, baby, are you ready for bed?"

The little girl emerged from the bathroom, dark circles standing out from underneath her tired hazel eyes. "Uh-huh," she mumbled, climbing onto her bed and under the covers.

"Sweetheart, you know that you can come to us for anything, right?" Erin sat down on the edge of Kate's bed, smoothing out the comforter with one hand, "If you're feeling scared, or worried, or having a nightmare, you can come get Daddy or I, you know that."

Kate nodded solemnly, biting down on her lip harshly. "And you can always be honest with us," Jay added, "We don't want you to be upset by yourself, okay?"

She nodded again, mouth still clamped shut. "Are you upset with us, baby?" Erin asked gently, "Did we do something? You're not acting like yourself."

Kate shook her head, biting down hard enough on her lip to draw blood.

 _"Okay, what do you think we should get for cereal?" Jay glanced down at the little girl who was holding his hand stringently, "What about some Coco Puffs?"_

 _Kate looked up at her father in surprise. "But Erin said we gotta get_ Cheerios. _And the crunchy one."_

 _"Ah, yes, granola, you're right." He beamed at his daughter, pulling the box of Erin's favorite granola from the grocery store shelf, "So Cheerios it is. You sure you don't want any of the fun cereal?"_

 _Jay had been tasked with taking Kate to the grocery store to fetch some of the essentials while Erin met up with a CI. The little girl had made them a family three weeks prior and will still warming up to spending time with_ just _Jay. Kate's horrific experience with other men left both physical and emotional scars, as she visibly tensed up the first time Erin had left her alone with her father. Kate was more comfortable with Erin, one of the first positive female role models she ever had._

 _This was Jay's first time_ alone _with the little girl, with Erin more than a few yards away. He loved spending time with his daughter, getting to know her personality, her likes and her dislikes. While Kate had initially been skeptical that Erin wouldn't be joining them at the grocery store, she seemed to slowly be warming up to the idea as they strolled through the aisles._

 _Kate gave a small smile, exposing her tiny teeth, "Erin told you dat those are too shug-ry for breakfast." Kate's eyes twinkled knowingly, "She said she was trustin' you to make good judge-mint."_

 _Jay chuckled, "Well, I think good judgment would be getting this." He plucked a package of assorted sugary cereals, each one different. "We can try them, but that way if we don't like them, we won't waste too much, what do you think?"_

 _She looked at the boxes and back up to Jay, "Erin not gonna be mad?"_

 _"Nope!" Jay said, placing the package in their cart along with a box of multi-grain Cheerios, "And Erin loves those sugary cereals, so she's going to be glad that we got them." He gave Kate's hand a slight shake, "Plus, she doesn't get mad especially when we do all the grocery shopping."_

 _Kate relaxed slightly and gave a wider smile, "Okay!" She looked up at Jay shyly, "Erin's gonna be back at your home, right?"_

 _"Absolutely," Jay promised, pushing the cart with one hand and holding Kate's with the other, "And it's your home now too, Squirt."_

 _She nodded, glancing at all the jars at her eye level while they walked down the aisle. "See anything you like?" Jay asked, still acutely aware at how slight his daughter was. While he and Erin were trying to feed her a normal number of calories, the little girl was still nervous when it came to food and vocalizing if she was hungry. "How about some pickles?"_

 _"What's that?" She asked curiously, "Like those green guys we got on hamburgers?"_

 _"Precisely," Jay grinned, stopping the cart and gesturing to the variety of jars on the shelf. "They're delicious by themselves too. I think we should try some, what do you think?"_

 _"Okay," Kate agreed, turning to get a better look, "Which one?"_

 _"You wanna pick?" Jay offered, pointing out a few of the options, "What one sounds good to you?"_

 _Kate thought for a moment, mulling over her many choices, "The little ones?" She suggested, pointing a tiny finger at the jar of smaller pickles that Jay had pointed at earlier as a good option._

 _"Great choice," Jay confirmed, "You wanna put them in the cart too?" He smiled widely, trying his hardest not to freak his little girl out with his enthusiasm. He couldn't help it, they were_ bonding _._

 _She nodded, taking the pickles off the shelf and holding them tightly. "Can I give you a boost?" Jay asked, noting how she glanced at the height of the cart. Kate nodded and giggled as she put the pickles into the shopping cart, Jay eliciting a_ whoosh _noise as she did. "Alrighty, onward!" He declared, taking her hand again and heading toward the check out, "Shall we head home?"_

 _Jay looked down at the child when she didn't respond. Kate was rigid with fear and remained rooted in her place, staring intently at the large man a few feet in front of her. He was a burly gentleman, clad in old work boots and a ratty sweatshirt with a few stray bleach stains. He was unshaven and wore an angry expression as he decided between packages of beef jerky. "Kate?" Jay asked, taking note of the tears filling the child's eyes, "What's wrong, kiddo?"_

 _She shook her head, backing into the shelf, entire body trembling and face ashen. Tears filled her eyes as she regarded the large man. "Talk to me, Squirt, please." Jay knelt down in front of his little girl, frowning as she flinched when he stroked her arm, "What's going on?"_

 _Kate shook her head again, unable to speak, pressing her body against the metal shelf. Jay remained squatting in front of her, trying to discern what was going on in his precious child's head. "Is that man making you nervous?" Jay whispered, following her line of sight to the grumpy man who had selected a pouch of jerky and was stalking to the check out. Tears streamed down her cheeks as Jay glanced around the store, unsure of what to do._

 _"Do you know the man?" He asked, overcome with the realization that the person Kate was so afraid of could be someone from her past. Jay looked over to the man, who was headed out the sliding door, "Did he hurt you?"_

 _Kate didn't move and continued to cower in the canned goods aisle, refusing to say anything. "Would you feel better if we went home? We can leave, right now." Jay offered, "I'll come back for the food later, but we can get out of here."_

 _She shook her head, a whimper escaping her lips. Blood trickled down her chin as she continued to shake her head. "Oh, kiddo, you're bleeding." Jay reached into the cart for a box of tissues and gently wiped his daughter's chin, "You bit your lip."_

 _Another sob broke through as Jay tenderly dabbed Kate's lower lip. He frowned again, realizing that the interior of her bottom lip was littered with tiny scars. They mostly looked healed, save for the one that was reopened and bleeding freely. Jay swallowed the lump in his throat, realizing that the child must have been biting her lip for years, out of fear, anxiety and god knows what else. "It's okay, Kate, you're safe with me, I promise. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."_

 _With that, Kate crumbled against Jay's chest and buried her face in his neck. "I've got you," Jay whispered, still crouched on the grocery story floor, his child in his arms, "You're okay."_

 _"I'm s-s-s-orry," Kate managed, her face still pressed into his neck. The tears continued to slide down her cheeks, soaking the collar of Jay's henley, "I'm sorry."_

 _"You're allowed to cry. It's okay to be scared, kiddo." Jay kissed the side of her head, "I love you no matter what, okay?"_

* * *

 _"What the hell happened?" Erin hissed, taking the grocery bag from Jay's hand as he continued to cradle Kate against his chest. She had clung to him while they checked out and had continued to weep silently in her car seat as he drove them home. The poor little girl's lip continued to bleed as she clamped her mouth shut, suppressing the urge to cry loudly. "Did she fall?"_

 _Jay shook his head, rubbing Kate's back with his hand, "There was a scary looking guy in the grocery store," he explained, heading for the couch with Kate in his arms. He sat down heavily, "We're home now, kiddo. You're safe."_

 _"She's bleeding, Jay." Erin hurried to the bathroom and emerged with a washcloth. Sure enough, droplets of blood speckled Jay's grey shirt._

 _He frowned and stroked Kate's cheek, "It's okay Squirt, you don't need to bite your lip. You're hurting yourself."_

 _"I-I-I don't wanna cry," Kate choked out, "I didn't mean to be scared."_

 _"You're allowed to be afraid, baby," Erin cooed, running the cloth over Kate's chin. She paused her gentle movements, "Are you biting your lip because you're afraid to cry?"_

 _The little girl nodded timidly, fresh tears spilling over her cheeks. "It's okay, let it out kiddo," Jay murmured into his daughter's hair, "We've got you."_

 _A strangled sob escaped Kate's lips as she held fast to Jay, tiny body trembling from head to toe. "We're here, sweetheart," Erin whispered, rubbing the child's back, "We're not going anywhere. You can cry for as long as you need."_

"What's wrong, baby?" Erin asked again, wiping Kate's chin with her thumb, "Talk to us."

Tears filled Kate's eyes as she looked up into her mother's concerned gaze. Erin stroked her arm gently. "I-I-I didn't wanna make you worry 'bout me," Kate whispered, looking down shamefully at her hands, "You were hurtin' and Daddy was worried and I didn't want you to gotta worry 'bout me." She glanced up at Jay, "'cause I _know_ when I get nightmares it makes you worry."

"Kate, honey, it's our job to worry about you. You don't need to hide being scared or having nightmares from us." Jay sat down beside Erin on the bed, "We want you to come to us with anything. No matter what's going on, we're your parents and we're here for you, okay?"

"I know it's been a hard few days, but I'm okay, I promise." Erin managed a watery smile, "We're all going to be okay, and that includes you. And whenever you're not feeling safe, or if you have a nightmare, we want you to come get us." She leaned closer to Kate and whispered, "It makes us feel better too."

"You-you want me to come even when you're hurtin'?" Kate asked, wiping her cheek with her pajama sleeve, "'s not gonna upset you more?"

"Not at all. It's our job to make you feel safe." Erin pressed a kiss onto her daughter's head, "In fact, _I_ would feel much better if you snuggled with Daddy and me tonight. Is that okay with you?"

Kate nodded, wrapped her tiny arms around her mother's neck.

* * *

"So uh, I proposed to my girlfriend," Jay started, earning a round of applause from the other veterans in the circle, "It happened like two weeks ago and we still don't know exactly when we're getting married, but she's gonna adopt our daughter formally, so…" He trailed off, glancing down at his calloused hands, "But uh, last week I didn't make it here. After uh, after that snow day, well during it rather, my girl, she um, had a miscarriage. We uh, didn't know she was pregnant but um, it was rough. I wasn't even home, my kid called in a panic and thank God she knew how to call me but… yeah. So it's been a bit of a roller coaster of emotions on my end."

Jay took a deep breath, "Our kid you know, she's so smart and it just amazes me how she just _knows_ things. Like yesterday, she was exhausted. I mean, totally wiped. But she didn't want to sleep. And we were worried about her and I thought she was getting sick since she was actually sleeping through the night but turns out she unplugged the baby monitor because she didn't want us to worry about her."

He swallowed, "She uh, cares so much about us that she barely slept for two days and had nightmares that I couldn't comfort her though because she was trying to be strong for us. I mean…that kid has been through so much hell. And still, at the end of the day, she wants to make sure _we're_ okay. I just," he paused, "I can't believe she's mine. How did I help create something that pure and amazing I just…" he trailed off. "I mean, there's no doubt she's my kid. She's got my nose and chin and ears, and my fiancé says she's got my eyes even though hers are green, and she bites her lip when she's nervous. I used to do it as a kid actually. Whenever I was anxious I'd bite down hard on my lip, enough to make it bleed. And when I was first getting to know my daughter, I realized that she did the same thing. But she's got scars all over the inside of her little mouth because before I got her, that was all she could do to keep herself grounded."

"And the other night, she bit her lip again. And she hadn't done it in _months_ and I was reminded of how much my kid's been through. And I just, I never want her to have to bite her lip again." Jay exhaled, "But things are getting better. She's home with her mom, and they're making tacos. And I know that we've been through the worst of it. It's only going to get better from here." He shrugged and smiled. "I got my girls."

* * *

 **Please review!**


	60. Chapter 60

**Next one should be coming up quick - I've got a few things planned but I'll try to get some good karma going first ;)**

* * *

"It's finally not freezing out!" Erin exclaimed as she disembarked from the Sierra, "It's like, 34 degrees."

"Ah, Chicago in April," Jay mused, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "When 34 degrees feels a warm summer day."

"Are the ducks gonna be back at the pond?" Kate asked excitedly while Erin helped her with the clips on her car seat, "Are they flyin' back yet?"

"I'm not sure, kiddo," Jay said honestly, taking Kate's backpack from the back seat, "But if we see any ducks, we'll be sure to go to the pond so you can feed them."

"On Sunday with Grandpa Hank?" She looked up at Erin hopefully, "After breakfast?"

"Sure, baby," Erin leaned down and kissed the top of Kate's head, "I bet he would like that."

"Sergeant Platt's comin' to get me from school, right?" The little girl furrowed her brow concernedly, "And you and Daddy gonna be at the district, right?"

"That's right," Erin affirmed, "And then Daddy's going to bring you home, and I'm going to go see my friend Annie because I haven't seen her in a long, long time. But then I'll be home later to give you a kiss goodnight."

"Even if I'm already sleepin'?" Kate asked worriedly, "Wh-what if you come home after I gotta go to bed?"

"I'll still check on you and give you a kiss," Erin promised, "And Daddy's going to be at home with you, so there's nothing to worry about. And I have my phone too, so if you need me for anything, you can give me a call."

"But there's not gonna be no 'mergencies, right?"

Ever since Erin's miscarriage, Kate's concerns for an impending "emergency" had increased significantly. The little girl was constantly worried that another issue would arise, and that neither Jay nor Erin would be there to help her. They were doing their best to assure her that emergencies were not a regular occurrence, but their anxious child continued to worry. "No emergencies, baby," Erin leaned down to kiss the top of Kate's head again, "You're going to have a good day at school and then tomorrow morning you can tell me all about it, does that sound good?"

She nodded again as Jay held open the school door, "Daddy, you gonna be at the district, right?"

"I think so, kiddo. We're working through a case right now, so I may have to step out, but I'll be around and on my phone." He squatted down so he could look his child in the eyes, "Everything's going to be just fine, alright? You don't need to worry."

"'kay," Kate said finally, wrapping her little arms around Jay's neck, "See you later, Daddy."

"I love you, kiddo." Jay lifted her in his arms and held her tightly, "We love you so much."

"Have a fun day, baby," Erin extended her arms so that Jay could pass Kate to her. She accepted the little girl into her embrace, inhaling deeply as Kate held fast to her neck, "I love you, and I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Love you too." Kate whispered, pulling back with a smile, "Tell Grandpa Hank I say hi!"

* * *

"Daddy, Daddy!" Kate raced across the bullpen toward her father and wrapped her tiny arms around his legs before he could register that she had arrived. She clung to his jeans and looked up at him expectantly.

"Hey, kiddo," Jay smoothed a hand over Kate's soft hair, "How was your day?"

"I got a little sleepy," Kate replied honestly, rubbing her eyes with one fist, "But den Sergeant Platt came to get me, and we got to take Goose for a _walk_!"

"A walk, huh?" He boosted the child into his arms and set her on his hip, "It was that nice out?"

Kate nodded furiously, "Yes, yes, even though Sergeant Platt said it was a little chilly, we still got to go. And I got to hold the leash!"

"Wow," Jay mused, kissing the side of Kate's head, "That sounds like a great afternoon. And you know what? I think we can head home early."

"Really?" Kate broke into a wide grin, "Mommy already left?"

"Yep, but she'll be home later tonight," Jay promised, "How about we get your backpack from Sergeant Platt, and then we can head home? I think we could make homemade pizza tonight."

"Okay!" Kate squealed as he tickled her gently, "How come Grandpa Hank's not in his office?"

"He had to go meet with a CI, I believe," Jay glanced into his boss's empty office, "But we'll see him on Sunday, sound good?"

"'kay," Kate agreed, planting both feet on the floor as Jay set her down, "I get my backpack?"

"Yep, I'm just going to wrap a few things up here, and how about I meet you downstairs with Sergeant Platt?"

Kate nodded again, scurrying out of the bullpen and down the steps. "She seems to be doing well," Antonio smiled, clapping Jay on the back as he exited the break room with a cup of coffee, "Can't believe it's the same kid that you brought here ten months ago."

"I know," Jay mused, grinning in response as he donned his jacket, "I mean, she's come so far." He gave another smile, "Still can't believe she's mine."

"They grow up fast," the older detective warned, taking a seat behind his desk, "You blink your eyes and suddenly they're in high school."

"Don't remind me," Jay said, tapping on Antonio's desk as he exited, "See you tomorrow, man."

"Kate?" Jay glanced around the Sergeant's desk downstairs, unable to locate his child, "Sarge?"

"Back here," Platt called, poking her head from around the corner, cell phone pressed to her ear, "We were just getting Goose ready to go spend the weekend with Garcia, when he cancelled on me. I gotta find someone to take this dog."

"Oh," Jay nodded, watching as Kate stroked Goose's coat with her small hands. "Kate, kiddo, did you find your backpack?"

"Uh-huh," Kate gestured to the small green backpack by the door, "I gotta say bye to Goose now?"

Jay nodded again, "But you'll see him on Monday after school, so not too long."

"'kay," Kate wrapped her arms around the seated dog, "Bye Goose."

"Hey, Halstead, why don't you take the dog this weekend?" Platt asked, widening her eyes at the young detective, "You like dogs, right?"

"Yeah but uh-" Jay stammered, looking from the large dog to his sergeant, "We-we don't have a yard and Erin-"

"Oh, come on, it's just the weekend," Platt hedged, removing the cell phone from her ear, "Kate, tell your Daddy that your mommy would be totally okay if you two brought Goose home for the weekend. I mean Halstead, nobody's going to say no to those two faces." Platt gestured to Goose and Kate, whose faces both lit up with excitement.

"We could take Goose to our home?" Kate exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down with excitement, "Really, Sergeant Platt, really?"

"Well, you gotta ask your dad," Platt smirked at Jay, who gave an aspirated sigh, "My building doesn't allow dogs."

"He's a service dog so technically he should be allowed anywhere," Jay replied, "And kiddo, I don't know, we don't have a place for him to run around or a yard for him to play in…"

The little girl's face fell, but she seemed to understand. "It's a favor to me," Platt interrupted, "I can't bring him home with me, and your kid is great with him." She widened her eyes in insistence, "Just the weekend, Halstead."

Jay let out another sigh, glancing back to the dog and his daughter. "Alright. We'll take him."

"Really?" Kate squealed, launching herself into Jay's arms, "Really, Daddy? Goose comin' home with us this weekend?"

Jay couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his cheeks. "Yeah, Squirt, he is. Just this weekend, though."

Kate pulled back, "But wait, Daddy, where's he gonna sleep?"

Jay paused. He hadn't thought of that. There was no way that Erin would be okay with the dog sleeping on the couch, and if he was being honest, a large dog in the bed would make their sleeping arrangements far too tight. "I guess we're going to have to take a trip to the pet store before we head home then, huh?" He smiled again, overjoyed with how his child's face kept lighting up.

"Really?" Kate's eyes were huge, "We gonna go to the _pet shop_?"

"Yep, we have to pick up a few things for Goose. You may be good at sharing your toys, but he's a bit slobbery. And we don't want Tiger to get all icky, do we?"

Kate shook her head, "We gonna get him toys too?"

"A few," Jay declared, eyes twinkling, "Can you say thank you to Sergeant Platt?"

"Thank you!" Kate said emphatically, wriggling in Jay's grasp so she could continue to pet the dog, "Daddy, can I hold his leash?"

"I think your dad should do that, munchkin," Platt said gently, "Just until Goose gets used to his surroundings, okay? He's pretty strong, I don't want him to tug you over."

Kate nodded, still incredibly excited at the prospect of bringing her new animal friend home. She gave Goose a pat on the head, to which he tilted up his nose to graze Kate's. "Ah! He gived me a kiss!"

Jay grinned again, taking Goose's leash from the sergeant. "Alrighty, Squirt, let's get going. At this rate, Mommy may beat us home."

"Mommy's not gonna be mad though, right?" Kate stopped short in the doorway, looking up to Platt and Jay nervously, "Cause we didn't ask _per-mishin_."

Jay chuckled lightly, "I'll explain it to her, don't you worry kiddo."

"Guess we know who wears the pants," Platt scoffed, trailing after the family, "Thanks for doin' this Halstead. Appreciate it. I'll see you on Monday."

* * *

It had been _weeks_ since Erin had seen Annie, and she had forgotten just how much they had been through together. Hearing about her friend's son and getting to share anecdotes about Kate filled her with pride, a true testament to how far they'd come from sleeping on the streets and doing drugs in the backs of dingy bars. Annie had squealed when Erin informed her that she and Jay were engaged, and that she was set to adopt Kate as soon as the paperwork went through.

She and Annie had been through the absolute worst together, and sharing the news about Kate and Jay and their new family made everything feel _real_. And it made Erin even more excited to retreat back to her apartment, pull on one of Jay's old hoodies and get into bed beside him.

After catching up for what felt like hours, Annie excused herself to get home to her son, and Erin hailed a cab home. Two drinks with Annie and she was absolutely wiped, and wanted nothing more than to snuggle beside her fiancé and sleep. Part of her hoped that Kate would be in their bed too, as having the little girl cuddled against her always made her night.

Erin yawned as the elevator door opened on the third floor of the apartment building. She made her way to apartment 310 and inserted the key into the lock, but furrowed her brow when she heard a strange noise on the other side. She quietly pushed open the front door to the apartment and crept inside, immediately feeling a wet nose on her thigh. "Jay?" she hissed, glancing down at the large German Sheppard that was wagging his tail excitedly at her arrival, "Jay!" She wrinkled her brow, "What are you doing here, Goose?"

The dog pushed his nose against Erin's hand, begging for affection. She sighed and scratched the top of his head, edges of her lips turning as the dog enjoyed the attention. Jay sheepishly emerged from Kate's bedroom, hurrying across the living room toward his fiancé. "Care to explain?" Erin asked, giving Goose a pat.

"Platt kind of cornered me and I looked at Kate and I just couldn't say no," Jay rushed out, "And it's just for the weekend, I promise."

"Jay, that dog is _not_ staying for the weekend," Erin gestured to the dog who had retreated to Kate's bedroom door and laid down protectively beside it, "I have a feeling that you saying yes to one weekend means he's here for _all_ the weekends."

He gave another sheepish smile, "Babe, he's so good with her. I swear, she's been asleep since eight and hasn't had a nightmare since. He just lays by her door and it's the _sweetest_ thing."

Erin raised her eyebrows, "This is the same dog that almost failed out of police dog school and went missing in the district a few weeks back? The one who doesn't listen to anyone?"

"Uh, yeah," Jay nodded, "But, it's the same dog that Kate loves and that comes to work with us every day, and he listened to you once, and he listens to Kate, and-and it's just the weekend babe, I promise."

"Just the weekend, huh?" Erin dropped her coat to the floor and pulled off her boots, pretending to ponder the situation. She sighed, "Alright, but _just_ the weekend. We can't take care of a dog Jay, we're too busy. And it wouldn't be fair to him. We don't have a yard or a place for him to run around and -"

"I know," Jay nodded, turning to look at Goose, who had closed his eyes with his head resting on his front paws, "Just the weekend."

"So?" Erin raised her eyebrows at her partner and settled on the couch, tugging a dog toy from underneath her rear, "How did we end up with a dog in the apartment?" She tossed the toy onto the navy blue dog bed that rested by one of the large windows that Goose was decidedly not interested in. He seemed to prefer his spot right beside Kate's bedroom door.

Jay was unable to keep the smile off his face, "Um, well, it's a long story."

Erin rolled her eyes, "What, Platt asked you and you caved?"

Jay bit back a laugh, "Well, it went something like that."

"I swear, Halstead, you are _such_ a softie." She poked him in the chest, "I mean, I'm sure it took one excited look from Kate to have you melt into a puddle right then and there." She narrowed her eyes when he didn't deny it, "I _know_ you."

"You're right," Jay wrapped an arm around her bent knee and pressed a kiss to her lips, "You got me. But babe, you should have _seen_ how excited she was in that pet store. It was amazing. She was practically vibrating with excitement at getting to pick out dog toys."

"Mm-hm, is that why I can count three from right here?" Erin teased, "And I'm _sure_ there are more. For just the weekend, right?"

Jay offered a cheeky grin, "We decided he needed one chew toy, a bone, and _just_ two animals, hence the squirrel and the duck that's around here somewhere. Can't have a house guest without getting him a few treats of his own."

"Guest, huh," Erin rolled her eyes again, "We'll see. I have a suspicion that he's going to be back again."

* * *

Jay's eyes snapped open, suddenly awoken by something moving in the apartment. He lifted his face off the pillow and brushed Erin's hair out of his eyes before rolling over and coming face to snout with Goose. "Hey big guy," Jay mumbled, extracting his hand from around Erin's waist to scratch the dog's head, "You need the bathroom?"

He glanced at the clock and grimaced at the neon numbers, indicating that it wasn't even three in the morning. Goose pawed at the side of the mattress and laid his head down, looking up at his new master with a sense of urgency. "Alright, alright," Jay grumbled, shedding the comforter as carefully as he could as to not wake his fiancé, "Let's go." Goose scurried out of the room, tail in the air.

"Babe?" Erin rolled over and reached for her partner, "Everything okay?"

"Dog needs to pee," Jay replied, pulling a sweatshirt blindly out of the dresser and shuffling toward the living room, "I'll be right back." He stumbled into the living room and glanced around. "Goose?" he hissed, unable to locate the furry house guest, "Goose?"

Goose pawed at Kate's bedroom door and looked plaintively at Jay. "What is it, buddy?" Jay's voice softened as he quickly crossed the living room. The dog pawed again, so Jay carefully pushed open the bedroom door.

Kate was sleeping but was caught in what appeared to be a rapidly-escalating nightmare. "Shh, kiddo," Jay cooed, lowering himself onto the edge of the bed and stroking Kate's cheek gently, "Shh."

The little girl opened her eyes quickly, her breath coming out in short pants as she realized where she was. "D-daddy?" she whispered, holding fast to his wrist as he ran a thumb over her cheek.

"Hey, kiddo, it was just a bad dream," Jay assured her, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead, "You're okay."

After a few moments, Kate's breathing evened out and she was once again in a deep slumber. Jay kissed his daughter's head before retreating to the bedroom, Goose on his heels. "Good boy," Jay praised, bending down and giving the dog a scratch behind his ears, "Thanks for looking out for our girl." The dog sat proudly as Jay pet him before turning in a circle three times and laying between both bedrooms, still avoiding the dog bed that Jay had purchased.

"That was quick," Erin mumbled as Jay climbed back into bed, "He just want attention?"

"He heard Kate starting to have a nightmare. That's why he woke us up." Jay was still impressed with the dog's intuition, "That dog is way more reliable than the baby monitor."

"Hm," Erin replied tiredly, settling against her partner's chest, "Good thing. Sleep well babe, I love you."

* * *

 **Please leave a review - they really help keep me on track!**


	61. Chapter 61

**Eeeek so sorry this took so long! Work's been crazy, but please enjoy!**

* * *

"Okay, one and a half cups," Erin instructed, reading from her cell phone. She had texted Goose's sick handler, requesting instructions as to how much the dog ate and other important information that her partner had accidentally overlooked with all the excitement of bringing Goose to their apartment. "Not too much, because we don't want him to be sick."

"But I can give him a dog cookie later?" Kate asked as she stood on a kitchen chair to reach the counter, carefully scooping the dog food into a plastic bowl that was usually used for her cereal, "'cause he's bein' a good boy and waitin' pay-shuntly?"

The dog wiggled from his seated position, nose in the air, seemingly very excited at the mention of a "cookie". Erin chuckled, "Alright, but just one this morning, okay? After he's eaten his breakfast, and after you've had yours, sound good?"

Kate nodded eagerly and climbed down, "Goose, we're gonna eat breakfast at the same time!"

Jay shot a grin to Erin as he passed her a steaming mug of coffee. Kate's excitement over the dog was contagious. The little girl had woken up at seven and immediately rushed to her parent's room to wake Jay so that he would not forget that Goose needed to relieve himself outside and not in the house, "So Mommy don't get upset at you." Erin, despite having been woken up early for a Saturday, had rolled over and managed a smile even then, one because she could never be upset at her daughter and two, because she was just so darn cute.

She and Jay bundled up their little girl to guard against the morning chill and embarked on their first dog-walk as a family. Neither of the detectives could stop smiling at Kate and Goose interacting. Although Goose had nearly failed out of police dog school, he was very obedient when it came to Kate and Erin.

While Goose gobbled down his breakfast, Erin sliced up a banana for Kate while Jay scrambled eggs. "Should I put some extra strips of bacon on for him?" Jay asked casually, placing a few uncooked pieces onto a pan.

"What?" Erin whirled around. Kate looked up in surprise at her mother's outburst and wrinkled her eyebrows in concern. "Jay, you _cannot_ feed him human food!"

"It's _meat_ , Er," Jay gestured to the bacon that was beginning to sizzle, "I thought dogs are supposed to eat meat?"

She shook her head adamantly, "No, no, they're just supposed to eat their food and treats and that's all. Otherwise they can get into bad habits of begging or get sick." Erin put her hands on her hips when she saw the smirk forming on Jay's lips, "Bacon is too salty for him."

"Okay, okay, more bacon for us then," Jay acquiesced, wrapping up the remaining uncooked bacon and sliding it into the fridge. He turned to see Kate, who looked absolutely distraught. "Kate? What's wrong, kiddo?"

Tears formed in the child's eyes, "B-b-but Woo-zek is gonna make Goose sick!"

"What happened, baby?" Erin ceased her slicing and reached across the counter to wipe Kate's cheeks, "Goose is fine."

"No, no, Woo-zek always gives Goose chips and jerky," Kate whimpered, looking down at her animal friend who had cocked his ears and abandoned his breakfast in curiosity, "And the odder day he gave him the end of his burrito and-and you said he could get _sick._ "

Jay and Erin exchanged looks again as Erin realized her mistake. "Oh, no, sweetheart, it's just not good to get into the habit of feeding dogs people food. And I'll make sure that Ruzek doesn't do it anymore, but Goose is totally fine." Erin looked up at Jay, silently willing him to say something.

"Don't worry, Squirt," Jay smiled, "Look, he's all good. I think he's worried about you though." He rounded the counter and sank beside the dog, who was sitting beside Kate, looking expectantly at the young child. "It's okay, boy, she's just worried about you."

Goose gently placed his chin on Kate's thigh. "See, baby?" Erin wiped a few more tears off of Kate's cheeks, "Nothing's wrong with Goose."

Kate sniffed and let out a giggle when Goose nudged her with his nose. "He's gonna be okay?"

"Yes," Erin confirmed, "And don't worry, I'm going to make Ruzek hears it from Sergeant Platt that he's not allowed to feed Goose chips and jerky, okay?"

Kate nodded and then widened her eyes, "You gonna tell Sergeant _Platt_?" She looked to Jay and then back to Erin, "She's gonna _yell_ at him."

Jay nodded and gave a playful smile, "I think Ruzek could use it, what do you think, babe?"

Before Erin could confirm that indeed Ruzek could use a swift kick in the ass here and there, Kate interjected, "No!"

The two detectives exchanged looks. "I-I-I don't want him to be mad at me," Kate explained quickly, "I don't want him to get in big trouble."

"She's just going to tell him not to, so Ruzek's not going to be in big trouble. Just a warning," Erin tried to assure her, glancing up to Jay, silently urging him to walk back his statement.

"Yeah, don't worry, okay kiddo?" Jay offered a smile and stood to hold his little girl close. "Would it be better if I asked him not to feed Goose?"

Kate thought for a moment and then nodded. "I-I don't want him to get yelled at." She looked down at her hands, "I don't _like_ yellin'."

"I know, I don't either." Jay kissed the top of Kate's head and reached across the counter to hold Erin's hand. "You know what? It's a bit windy out, but maybe we could all go to the park and see if the ducks are back. And we could bring Goose."

Kate looked up at her father with eyes the size of saucers, "We could take Goose to the park with us? Even though it's not Sunday?"

Jay's eyes twinkled as he caught Erin's gaze, "I think maybe we should go on Sunday too, don't you babe?"

"I think that sounds great," Erin agreed, huge grin spreading across her lips as Kate almost bounced out of her chair with excitement.

"Goose! We gonna go to the park!" Kate squealed. The dog cocked his head to the side in confusion, but opened his mouth to pant, giving the appearance of a wide grin.

"I think he's excited too, kiddo. But let's have breakfast first, okay? I don't want you to be hungry."

* * *

"Okay, Goose, you ready?" Jay shook the tennis ball in front of the dog's face. Goose was wiggling with excitement, ready to race after the ball as soon as it left his new master's fingertips.

"Throw it, babe, you're torturing him," Erin rolled her eyes at her partner's teasing.

"Daddy, throw it really far!" Kate instructed, holding fast to her mother's hand. The park was empty for the most part as it was incredibly windy out. There had been no ducks at the pond, but Kate's disappointment barely sank in before she was chasing her dog friend on the frozen ground.

"Are you going to show him how to do it, Squirt?" Jay asked, grinning from ear to ear. Goose, though supposed to be a highly trained police dog fit for the force, could not grasp the concept of chasing and returning the ball. Kate had been running after the tennis ball, encouraging the dog to follow, but had done many laps and was clearly feeling tired.

"He's bein' silly," Kate explained, shaking her arms slightly as if she was gearing up to run again, "We try one more time? Maybe he will learn?"

"One more throw," Erin agreed, resting her hands on Kate's thin shoulders, "This is more of a workout for you than for him, huh?"

Kate nodded and glanced up at her mother, "But he's having so much fun," she giggled, gesturing to Goose who was now seated on the grass, tail still wagging aggressively in anticipation, "I think he got it this time."

"Alrighty, babe, give it a throw," Erin instructed, "You ready Goose?"

"Fetch!" Jay shouted. The second the ball left his fingertips, Goose bounded after it. "He got it this time!" He exclaimed, turning to his girls. Kate squealed and ran after the dog to congratulate him, who was trotting back with the tennis ball in his teeth.

"You did it!" Kate praised, rushing beside her friend and giving him a pet on the head. She extended her mittened hand for the ball, still a few yards away from her parents. "Now you gotta give it to me so Daddy can throw it again."

The dog looked up at his new owner like she had three heads. He was not about to sacrifice the ball that he had worked so hard to chase down. He extended his front paws and put his hind quarters in the air, tail wagging excitedly. "You gotta give it back," Kate instructed, giggling at the dog who could not seem to grasp the idea. He bounced up and down, seemingly trying to tease her.

"I don't think we're getting the ball back," Jay chuckled, holding an arm out. Goose took that to mean that he should come as well, and leapt alongside Kate as she ran toward her parents.

As his little girl barreled into his legs with a joyous shriek, he couldn't help but think about how far she had come. She was considerably healthier, stronger and happier, no longer the petrified child curled in the dingy closet. Kate had taken on a personality of her own, one that was loving and kind and silly. "Daddy, you gotta get Goose to give it back," Kate insisted, "Sergeant Platt says he needs to learn to _retrieve_. And that means he gotta give the ball back."

"You're right," Jay offered a goofy smile, "Goose, are you gonna give the ball back?"

"You gotta be _serious_ ," Kate insisted, putting her hands on her hips, "Odder-wise he gonna think you're still playing."

Jay looked to Erin, who gave a knowing nod. He couldn't believe how similar Kate and Erin were sometimes. It was almost like they were biologically related, as Kate had picked up on many of Erin's mannerisms.

"You're turning into a little-Erin, aren't you, Squirt?" Jay teased, boosting his little girl into the air, her squeals of delight filling him with joy, "Is Mommy rubbing off on you?"

Kate laughed as Jay held her above his head. "Careful Jay," Erin warned, unable to keep the smile off her lips. The pony tail that she had fastened Kate's hair into had come undone, so wisps of light brown encircled the child's face, her cheeks rosy from the wind and eyes shining with excitement.

"It's 'cause she's my mommy!" Kate giggled as Jay set her down on the ground, "And I learn lots from her."

Jay chuckled and wrapped an arm around Erin's shoulders. Goose was now laying on his stomach, attempting to chew apart the tennis ball. "I think that ball's a goner. Maybe he'll be better tomorrow." Erin turned to look at her fiancé, who planted a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"You got more tennis balls, Daddy?" Kate looked up at her father in surprise and back to the dog, "Cause he eatin' this one."

"I've got a few more, and I'm sure Uncle Will has a bunch," Jay promised, "Let's put Goose's leash back on so we can go grab some ice cream, how does that sound?"

Kate nodded and shivered slightly. "What about hot chocolate instead?" Erin suggested, pulling the leash from Jay's coat pocket and clipping it to Goose's collar. She patted the dog's head affectionately, "It's still a bit cold for ice cream."

Jay nodded in agreement and accepted the leash from Erin, smiling at how Kate had slipped her hand in with her mother's as they exited the park.

* * *

"Erin Lindsay." Erin picked up her cell and held it to her ear as Jay set the hot chocolates down on their table. Goose was seated patiently beside Kate, having been allowed in the establishment due to his service dog status. "Hey, Liv." She hastily stood, giving her little girl a big smile, "It's Lieutenant Benson. Give me two minutes," she whispered to Jay before quickly exiting the diner to have a more private conversation.

"Who dat?" Kate asked innocently, glancing over her shoulder to see her mother standing just outside the door, appearing to be listening intently to whoever was on the other end of the call.

"I think that's Lieutenant Benson from New York," Jay said, uncapping the hot chocolate and giving it a stir to help it cool down faster. He didn't want his little girl to burn her tongue, "She calls from time to time to check in because she has a lot of experience in the police."

Kate nodded slowly, "She…she was the lady who finded me when I was in New York?"

Jay grimaced at the memory, "Um, yep. I think you met Amanda first, but Olivia Benson is the person who runs the Special Victims Unit out in Manhattan."

"She said you guys and her team and Grandpa Hank worked together sometimes?" Kate recalled, "That's how come she and Grandpa Hank became friends?"

"That's right," Jay nodded, "I think the hot chocolate should be cool enough now, kiddo. Take a careful sip though, okay?"

The child tentatively lifted the hot chocolate to her lips to take a sip. "Is she comin' to Chicago?" Kate asked, "That's how come she's callin' Mommy?"

"I'm not sure," Jay glanced at Erin out of the corner of his eye. She had hung up the phone and was re-entering the diner. He took a sip of his hot chocolate, "Everything okay, babe?"

"Mhm," Erin replied noncommittally as she slid back into the booth beside her partner, "Warming up there, baby?"

Kate nodded, "I think Goose is sad he don't have a hot chocolate though."

Erin gave a small smile, "Well, I think we have some more dog cookies at home, maybe he can have one of those when we get back."

"Is 'tenant Benson comin' here?" Kate asked after a moment of silence. Erin had yet to take a sip of her hot chocolate, and had been glancing at the blank screen on her cell phone. The little girl could tell something was troubling her mother. Jay was acutely aware of how rigid Erin was suddenly.

"Uh, not this time," Erin looked up, "I think I have to go to New York though. Liv needs some help on a case."

"Really?" Jay raised his eyebrows, "When?"

"As soon as possible. I gotta check in with Hank, but they want me out there tonight." Erin turned to Jay, "Just for a few days."

"You sure?" Jay asked slowly, treading lightly around the subject that he knew was on the forefront of both their thoughts. It was almost Erin's birthday, which meant that it was almost the anniversary of Nadia's brutal murder. The murder which had taken place in New York and would undoubtedly reopen old wounds for Erin.

"Let's head home," Erin decided, skirting around Jay's question. She shifted out of the booth and wound her scarf around her neck. Wordlessly, Kate followed. Jay hurried after his girls, taking hold of Goose's leash before leaving a tip on the table.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Jay asked, leaning against the doorframe to their bedroom as Erin went about tossing various items into her suitcase. "I mean, babe, New York and this time a year I just…" he trailed off, not wanting to upset her. "I'm just worried," Jay said finally, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Kate was still sitting with Goose. The little girl had quickly recognized her parents need to have a serious conversation, and had chosen to sit next to Goose's dog bed to read him a story.

"You don't need to be worried, Jay," Erin replied shortly, tossing a few pairs of socks into the suitcase, "It's been three years. I'm fine. Liv just needs my help, and she wouldn't have called if it wasn't urgent."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jay asked, regretting the words as soon as they left his lips. He knew that his girl was fiercely independent but wasn't always as strong as she appeared. While he knew that, reminding her of it by offering his support usually came back to bite him in the ass.

"I don't need you to _babysit_ me," Erin hissed, trying to keep her voice down so that Kate wouldn't overhear, "I am perfectly capable of handling myself." She swallowed, willing herself to calm down. "Look. I love you for wanting to take care of me and for offering, but Hank needs you here to work the Chicago side of this case, okay? Besides, Liv's hunch is just that. It might not even be anything. But I can't _not_ try every single angle to get those families some justice."

"I know," Jay crossed the bedroom and gently cupped Erin's cheek with his palm, "And I know you'll be okay."

"You gotta stay for Kate too," Erin offered a small smile, "After her nosebleed last time, I think Hank's a little scarred."

Jay chuckled and tugged his girl closer so that their bodies were pressed together. "Promise to call when you land?"

Erin kissed his lips, "Promise. And I'll call every day to talk to Kate, and we'll be talking all day anyway with this case, okay? Don't worry babe, please."

"Can't help it," Jay mumbled into her neck, "'s my job to worry about you, Er."

* * *

"Okay, baby, so it's gonna be you and Daddy and Goose, but just for a few days. I'm going to New York to help Lieutenant Benson with a case that we think is connected to the one Daddy and I have been working on for the past few months." Erin knelt in front of her little girl, who was slowly absorbing the information that her mother was telling her.

"You _leavin'_?" Kate widened her eyes in concern. Almost instantly her eyes filled with tears, "But you said you weren't never gonna do that."

"I'm coming back, I promise," Erin said quickly, realizing she should have led with that, "Just a few days, okay? And Sergeant Platt is still going to get you from school on Monday, and you'll see Grandpa Hank at the district. And I'll call every night to talk to you, and Daddy and I are going to be texting all day long."

Tears trickled down Kate's cheek as she continued to process, "But I want you to be _here._ " She looked up to Jay who was frowning slightly, "I want you and Daddy to be together."

"We are together, baby, just a few miles apart. I'll be home before you know it," Erin brought her little girl close and held her against her chest, "I love you so much, and I know this is hard, but I'll be back so soon."

Kate continued to weep against her mother's shoulder. Erin glanced up at Jay worriedly. "She'll be alright. It's only a few days," Jay leaned down and kissed the crown of Erin's head, "C'mon babe, your car's waiting and you don't want to miss your flight."

Reluctantly, Erin stood with her daughter still in her arms, "I love you baby," she whispered, feeling her heart break into a million pieces as Kate let out a sob as Erin passed her to Jay, "I know this sucks, but Lieutenant Benson wouldn't call me if it wasn't really important."

"Mommy's just gotta do her job kiddo," Jay soothed, rubbing his hand over Kate's back as she cried, "You know that our jobs are to protect the city, and sometimes that means we gotta protect other cities too, so we can keep making Chicago safer."

"We can't go with Mommy?" Kate whimpered, lifting her head from her father's shoulder.

"I'm afraid not," Jay extended an arm to bring Erin in for one last hug, "But we'll talk to Mommy when she lands tonight, and we'll talk to her tomorrow and the next day and then she'll be home."

"Plus, you guys are going to have Goose to keep you company," Erin gestured to the dog, who was sitting by Jay's leg and looking up at the distressed child in concern. "I love you two."

"Love you, babe." Jay kissed Erin's lips one last time before he opened the front door, "We'll talk to you tonight. Be safe. We love you."

Erin turned to see her family in the doorway. Jay was effortlessly holding Kate against his chest as she continued to weep. It damn near made her want to drop the bag and turn around, but she knew that she was needed in New York. "Bye Mommy," Kate choked out, lifting her head from Jay's shoulder. The little girl looked desperately to her father, "One more hug?"

He nodded and gently set her down, and she raced down the hall as fast as she could. Erin knelt down and wrapped her baby in her arms, inhaling the sweet scent of her kiddie shampoo. "I love you, so so much," Erin managed, unable to keep the tears at bay, "But I'll be back soon, and we're going to have a sleepover, okay?"

"Come back, please," Kate begged, "Me and Daddy need you."

"I need you guys too," Erin assured her, pressing a kiss atop her soft hair, "I'll see you in a few days, I promise."

* * *

 **Stay tuned for a little daddy-daughter time :)**


	62. Chapter 62

**A late birthday present from me to y'all - the best gift would be a review :) Thanks for continuing to be patient!**

* * *

"Daddy?"

"What's up, kiddo?" Jay set his phone down on the kitchen table and met his daughter's curious gaze, "Everything okay?"

He was waiting for a text from Erin to confirm that she had boarded her flight. While he wasn't in love with the idea of her venturing to New York by herself around the anniversary of Nadia's death, he knew that she was doing what she had to for the case. He only wished that he had been able to go with her, but he was needed to run point back in Chicago.

After about an hour of just sitting on the couch and comforting his little girl, Kate had finally calmed down. He had decided that some coloring was in order, and had set up a few of Kate's activity books on the kitchen table while they waited for Will to join them for dinner. Goose was lying beside his little friend, but kept his eyes trained on the door, as if he was waiting for Erin to return.

"Do I got magical powers?" Kate held her hands up tentatively, "Like Harry Potter?"

"Uh…" Jay instinctively glanced to his left for support from his partner and grimaced when he realized she was on a flight to New York. "Well, Squirt, Harry Potter is a fantasy book. Which means that it doesn't exist in the real world." He furrowed his brow again, trying to come up with an answer for an almost five-year old. "But I think that you have special powers that aren't necessarily like Harry Potter's, but they're special to you."

"So then I don't gotta leave to go to Hogwarts, right?" Kate asked, exhaling heavily, "Cause if I don't go real magical powers, then I don't get a letter."

"Nope, you're here forever," Jay smiled, "As long as you want to be with Mommy and me."

"I'm glad," Kate said softly, "Cause I thought 'cause Harry Potter saw his bi-logical parents get killed and had to live with bad people, that meaned I would have powers too." She let out another breath, "But I'm glad I don't gotta go far 'way."

Jay felt the color drain from his face.

Maybe reading Harry Potter hadn't been such a good idea. He hadn't even considered the fact that the story would resonate with Kate and wanted to kick himself for the oversight. His sweet and brilliant child had connected Harry's magical abilities to his tumultuous upbringing and had related it to her own.

Again, he desperately wished that Erin was beside him in that moment. She would know exactly what to say. He took a deep breath, "Um, well, Harry Potter is a little different than you, because uh, he um, never really had other parents. But what's important how is that Harry Potter found his friends, and Mommy and I, we found you." Jay winced at the pained response.

Kate furrowed her brow slightly, "But I got _special_ powers?"

Jay nodded slowly, "Yeah, uh, you do. Like…you _always_ make me smile whenever I see you." He stuck his tongue out playfully at the little girl and she giggled. "And… whenever Mommy needs something, you always know just how to make her feel better. And you make the best chocolate chip cookies. And Hank is never grumpy when he's around you."

"Oh!" Kate exclaimed, "I got _luckier_ than Harry Potter, 'cause I got my parents." She smiled widely as Jay jumped up from his chair and boosted her into his arms playfully. "Ah, Daddy!"

"I think I'm luckier than Harry Potter, too kiddo," Jay breathed, holding her against his chest. Goose pressed his nose against Jay's leg, asking to be included in the family hug, "I know, we see you buddy."

"When's Mommy's plane landin'?" Kate asked after a moment, resting her head on Jay's shoulder, "How come she didn't call yet?"

"Let's see." Jay reached for his cell, which was resting on the table. "Mommy just sent a text message, they're boarding the plane now. So she'll be in New York in about two hours."

"But she still gonna call to say good night?"

"Yep," Jay kissed Kate's forehead, "Should we text her back together? What if we say, 'Have a safe flight, we love you'?"

"I-I wanna hear Mommy's voice," Kate whispered sadly, "I miss her ah-ready."

"I miss her too, kiddo. I can't promise she'll pick up, but we can try, okay?"

Kate nodded eagerly, gaze fixated on the cell phone as the dial tone played.

"Babe?" Erin answered, "Everything alright?"

"We just wanted to hear your voice before you take off," Jay smiled at Kate, "You're on speaker."

"Hi Mommy," Kate murmured, still resting her head against Jay's shoulder, "I miss you."

Erin felt her heart clench hearing her little girl's sadness through the phone. "Oh, I miss you too baby. But I'll see you and Daddy real soon okay? I'll be back before you know it."

"New York's not too far away, kiddo," Jay assured his daughter, "Only a two hour plane ride."

"And I'll give you guys a call when I get to my hotel, sound good?" Erin blinked rapidly, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Will's coming for dinner right?"

"Yep," Jay confirmed, "Have a safe flight babe, we love you and we'll talk soon."

"Bye Mommy," Kate said, her voice still laced with sadness, "I love you."

"I love you both so much. I'll call you when I land." Erin hung up and took a deep breath, waiting for the plane to take off.

* * *

"Jay Halstead," Jay said into the receiver, placing the phone to his ear and stifling a yawn. He reclined in his chair, tempted to put his feet on the desk, but he knew that Hank wouldn't be pleased if he saw that.

"Hi Jay, this is Alexa Carlson, Kate's teacher," the young woman began, "I'm just calling to-"

"Is she okay?" He interrupted, sitting up straighter in his chair, "Is Kate okay?" Ruzek turned his head and raised his eyebrows at his squad member's sudden change in demeanor.

"She's alright, really," Alexa emphasized, "I just wanted to check in and see if things were okay at home. Kate seems to be completely exhausted today, almost falling asleep in her chair, but she says that she feels fine."

"Oh man." Jay rubbed his face with his free hand, "Uh, yeah, things are fine but um, Erin's out of town for a few days, got called to help with a case out in New York. I didn't realize she was so exhausted though." He glanced down at his watch, "I can come and pick her up? What is she doing now?"

The night before, Will had arrived shortly after Jay and Kate had said hung up with Erin. While Kate was typically agreeable when it came to eating Italian food, the little girl was particularly out of sorts without her mother and just pushed the noodles around her plate, barely taking a few bites. Jay was growing increasingly nervous about Erin being in New York, both for her sake and for Kate's. Kate had gone to bed reluctantly and appeared to be sleeping when Jay periodically checked in. Though Goose had been a welcome distraction, the little girl was seriously missing her mother and as such, probably didn't sleep. As he sat at his desk, Jay cursed himself for not recognizing his own child's exhaustion.

"Well, she didn't want to go to the nurse to lay down," Alexa informed him, "and the kids are at lunch, but I think she just needs to rest. To be honest, Jay, I'm not sure she slept. She's wiped."

"I'm on my way," Jay decided, getting up from the chair and shoving his phone into his pocket. "Ruze, man, can you cover for me for like a half hour? I gotta go get Kate."

The younger office nodded quickly, "Yeah, totally. Everything okay?"

He shrugged, plucking his coat off the back of his chair, "I don't know, I thought she was sleeping last night but her teacher just called and said she's practically falling asleep in class. I know she's really anxious with Erin being in New York and that we've both been busy with this case but-"

"Say no more, go get your kid," Ruzek instructed, "If anything pops off, Kev and I will handle it."

"Thanks," Jay called over his shoulder, hurrying down the steps to get to his daughter as fast as he could.

* * *

Jay arrived at the school just as the children were heading into their classrooms from lunch. He instantly spotted his little girl in the middle of the line, slightly smaller than the rest of the kids. As the others raced into the classroom, Kate shuffled alongside, clearly exhausted. "Hey, Alexa," Jay greeted, following the group into Kate's classroom, "I'm here to pick up Kate."

"Hi, Jay," Alexa said warmly, gesturing to his daughter. Kate had taken a seat at her table and rested her head on one hand while her classmates seemed to be extremely energetic. "Thanks for coming. I think she just needs a good sleep."

He nodded and entered the classroom. "Are you a policeman?" A little boy looked up at Jay with eyes the size of saucers, having immediately taken note of the badge of Jay's waistband.

"I am," Jay nodded, offering a kind smile, "I'm also Kate's dad."

"Kate, your daddy is a _police officer?_ " A young red-headed girl looked at Kate incredulously after witnessing the interaction between Jay and the blonde boy.

Kate widened her eyes and lifted her head off her hand, realizing that her father was standing in her classroom. "Yeah!" She broke out into a big smile, "My daddy and my mommy are both _detectives_ ," Kate said proudly, "And my grandpa is a sarge-ent."

"I'm here a bit early," Jay squatted down so he could meet Kate's gaze, "How do you feel about stopping by the district to see Grandpa Hank and Sergeant Platt, and then headin' home?"

She nodded and then yawned. "Goose is gonna be at the district too?"

"You bet." Jay stood and extended a hand, "Let's grab your backpack."

* * *

"Daddy comed to get me early from school," Kate informed her mother, who had called to check in after a long day working with the NYPD, "I got to leave before all the odder kids."

Jay bit the inside of his lip—he hadn't yet mentioned that their little girl had been so tired from not sleeping the night before that she had to be picked up early. It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have over the phone, because he knew that Erin would blame herself, as he would have done the same thing.

After stopping back at the district to say hello to Goose and Hank, the sergeant insisted that Jay take his granddaughter home, immediately recognizing how tired the child was. Jay and Kate settled on the couch to watch a documentary, but within two minutes she was fast asleep.

"Oh yeah?" Erin asked, holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she accepted her takeout, "Well, that must have been a fun surprise, huh?"

"Uh-huh," Kate agreed, snuggling in closer to Jay, "We went home and watched a documentary on emper-or pe-gwuins. But I falled asleep, so me and Daddy are gonna finish it later."

"Wow," Erin mused, "I'll be home in a day or two, baby, and maybe then we can head to the aquarium to see some real penguins, how does that sound?"

"Good," Kate smiled but then her face fell, "I miss you Mommy."

"I miss you too, sweetheart. And I love you so much. Can you give the phone back to daddy?"

"Bye Mommy," the little girl said sadly, passing the phone to Jay. She leaned dejectedly against his shoulder as he put the phone up to his ear.

"You picked her up early from school?" Erin asked, "How come?"

"She was exhausted," Jay said honestly, "But uh, we can talk more when you come home? How's the case looking?"

"Well, the prostitution rings are definitely connected, but all signs are pointing back to Chicago. So I'm probably going to hop on a flight home tomorrow." She let out a sigh. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." Jay stroked Kate's hair delicately, "How are you?" She shrugged, forgetting that Jay couldn't see her. But he could tell from her silence that it was not only a rough case, but bringing back a lot of haunted memories. "We love you babe. And I'm here if you need me. I can be on the next flight out."

"I'm fine, really," Erin promised, sliding the hotel key card into its slot, "I promise I'll call if anything happens, but I'll see you tomorrow night."

After he hung up the phone, Kate glanced up at her father nervously. "Everything okay, Squirt?" Jay asked, knowing full well that she had picked up on her mother's sadness and his worry.

She shook her head and blinked quickly. "I'm really worried 'bout Mommy."

"I know, kiddo, but she'll be home tomorrow. And she's strong, she'll be alright."

 _Jay answered his cell on the first ring. Even though it was well past two in the morning, his partner hadn't returned his last ten voicemails and text messages. Voight was eerily quiet about his almost-daughter, only shortly mentioning that she was taking furlough before slamming the door behind him._

 _They weren't a couple anymore, but she was still his partner, and Jay was worried sick. He saw the tell-tail sights on her spiraling out of control, but there was nothing he could say that seemed to make a difference. It had been over 48 hours since they had last spoken, and Jay feared the worst. So when Erin's name flashed across his cellphone, he breathlessly picked up, having been unable to sleep. "Erin? Are you okay?"_

 _"Can you come g-get me?" A garbled voice hiccupped on the other end._

 _Jay tightened his grip on his cell, "Where are you?"_

 _"I-I don't know," Erin slurred, leaning heavily against the brick building, the faint noise of techno music vibrating the structure, "I-I'm outside and I'm_ cold. _"_

 _"Stay where you are, okay? I'm coming." Jay pulled a pair of jeans off the hamper and slipped a sweatshirt over his head before dialing Mouse._

 _"What?" He answered after three rings, "What's goin' on?"_

 _"I need you to ping Erin's phone for me, right now," Jay rushed out, unlocking his car and climbing into the front seat, "Mouse? Are you listening to me? I need you to ping Erin's phone_ right now. _"_

 _"I'm on it, I'm on it," Mouse replied, still half asleep, "Give me two minutes."_

 _"C'mon man," Jay prodded, peeling out of his parking space._

 _"She alright?" His friend asked, "Haven't seen her in a few days."_

 _"I don't know." Jay rubbed a hand over his face, "She called me and I need to get her right now, so-"_

 _"She's at a nightclub on Division," Mouse interrupted, continuing to read the rest of the address, "Hope she's alright."_

 _"Thanks buddy, me too." Jay hung up and stepped on the gas, intent on getting to his partner as quickly as possible._

 _He slowed to a stop outside the club, the steering wheel vibrating as the music continued to pulse. There were a few people stumbling out of the exit, intoxication evident by their uncoordinated motions and boisterous laughter. Jay squinted, trying to discern if his partner was among the crowds._

 _There was person sitting up against the wall in the alleyway, shoulders hunched up to their ears to ward against the late night breeze. He pulled closer to the curb and felt his heart drop after he recognized his partner's leather jacket._

 _Ignoring the fact that he was in a fire lane, Jay disembarked from his car and walked quickly toward Erin's shivering frame. "Erin," he called softly, bending to his knees in front of her, "C'mon, let's get you home."_

 _Erin sluggishly opened her eyes and blinked, her eyes glazed with intoxication and whatever else she had coursing through her system. "W-what are you doing here?"_

 _"You called me, remember?" Jay reached out a hand. Erin wrapped her arms tighter around her body and frowned._

 _"Why'd you come?" She narrowed her eyes, "We're not partners 'nymore."_

 _Jay shook his head and touched her arm gently, "That doesn't matter right now. C'mon, it's late. And you're freezing."_

 _"'m disgusting," she mumbled, making no moves to stand from her position curled against the wall._

 _"No, you're not," Jay shook his head again, "It's cold out here, Er. Let's get you inside and warmed up."_

 _"Got kicked out 'cause I got sick," she slurred, her head lolling to one side, "Don't wanna get sick in your car."_

 _"I'm not worried about my car right now, I'm worried about you." Jay rose and helped Erin to shaking feet. He guided her over to his vehicle and settled her in the front seat, grimacing as the stench of vomit, cigarettes and God knows what else wafted off his partner._

 _"Can handle myself," Erin replied listlessly, resting her head against the car window as Jay drove along the dark streets, "I don't need to be saved."_

 _"I know," Jay said lamely, exhaling softly as he pulled in front of Erin's apartment building, "I know."_

* * *

 _Maybe it was because he hadn't had a good night sleep in weeks, or maybe it was the familiar scent of his partner beside him, but Jay slipped into oblivion almost as soon as his head hit the pillow. After attempting to help her into pajamas and failing, Erin had drunkenly attempted to take Jay's pants off. He continued to insist that she was in no right mind to have sex, and after a while Jay finally got his partner to lay in bed with the promise that he would spend the night. He hadn't planned on leaving anyway._

 _A sharp cough drew him from his slumber and he snapped open his eyes. The bed was empty beside him and the sheets were cool, Erin nowhere to be found. His stomach dropped as he leapt to his feet and stumbled into the empty living room. "Erin?" Jay called out, unable to keep the panic out of his voice, "Erin?"_

 _Another cough drew his attention to the closed bathroom door. "Erin!" Jay knocked forcefully, "Erin, open the door."_

 _"'s open," a weak voice managed. He felt his heart clench in his chest at the sound of his partner's raspy tone and carefully opened the bathroom door._

 _She was slumped against the open toilet seat wearing only a lace bra and tight jeans, the top that she had worn to the club strewn on the floor and reeking of stale booze and vomit. Her newly short hair was matted to her forehead as she gripped the bowl, her skin an ashy grey._

 _Wordlessly, Jay reached into a drawer and pulled out a washcloth, wet it in the sink and sank to his knees beside his partner. "Talk to me," he whispered softly, extending the cloth to Erin, "What's going on?"_

 _Erin shook her head and retched, the tequila shots from the night before making an unfortunate reappearance. She was a mess, with vomit in her hair and the dark nightclub stamp standing out on her pale and quivering hands. She made a feeble swipe for the damp cloth, missing the fabric entirely._

 _"Let me," Jay said gently, lifting the cloth to wipe her forehead, "It's okay, Erin."_

 _She retched again while Jay ran the cloth down her neck and let out a low whimper. "S-s-sorry," Erin rasped, running a hand over her lips, "Y-you don't have to be here."_

 _"You're my_ partner, _" Jay replied, tenderly wiping the tendrils of hair that were crusty with the mistakes of the night before, "You're not getting rid of me that easily."_

 _She scoffed, but her twisted features softened as he ran the cloth across her chest. "I-I-I failed her." Erin's voice cracked and she choked back a sob, "It's my fault she's dead."_

 _"It's not, not at all," Jay stressed, pausing his motions to tilt her chin so she was looking into his eyes, "Erin, please, listen to me. It isn't your fault. You_ saved _her. You know as well as I do that she would have been far worse off without you. You stepped in and you turned her life around."_

 _"I got her_ killed, _" Erin insisted, her hands shaking as she pushed herself away from the toilet, "I-I need to shower, you got to go."_

 _"Erin…" Jay looked sadly at his partner, barely supporting her body on trembling legs. "I need you to promise me that you'll call if you need help, okay?_ Promise _me."_

 _"Fine, fine. You gotta get to work, go." Erin shooed him out of the bathroom, leaning heavily on the doorframe, "I-I'll text you, okay?"_

Jay had no desire to relive that heartbreaking night. Hearing his girl blame herself for the death of her friend brought back demons of his own, and with Kate in their lives, neither of them could afford to make those same mistakes again. "What if we do something spesh-ul for Mommy when she comes back?" Kate asked, pulling Jay from his reverie, "We could make cookies?"

"That's a great idea, kiddo." Jay leaned down to kiss the top of Kate's head. "You know what? What if we made a birthday cake?"

"It's Mommy's birthday?" Kate looked up at her father in surprise, "How comed she didn't tell?"

"Well, it's not for a few days. And Mommy isn't a big fan of her birthday, but I think if you and I made a cake, that would be just perfect." Jay paused, immediately realizing that he made the mistake of letting it slip that Erin hated her birthday.

Just as he predicted, Kate furrowed her brow slightly, "How come Mommy don't like her birthday?"

"Um, well, you remember when Mommy told you a bit about her friend Nadia?" Jay sucked in a breath, recognizing that he was about to tell his almost five year old about a friend who had been brutally murdered. When Kate nodded, he continued, "So a few years ago, Nadia was hurt by a very bad man. And it happened on Mommy's birthday. And because of that, her birthday tends to make her a little sad. _But_ , I think us baking a cake would be a really nice surprise and make her feel a whole lot better."

Kate nodded, slowly absorbing Jay's story. "How 'bout a 'nilla cake?"

* * *

 **Family time up next :)**


	63. Chapter 63

**Ah, wow it has been a while (a whole month)! So sorry for the delay - I have been working non-stop and finally logged on. Thanks for all your reviews and messages of encouragement because they really helped me get this one out. I'm glad to know people are still reading. Hopefully the next update will be quicker. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"And they've got him in custody?" Jay asked into the receiver, resting one hand on the steering wheel while he sat in the district parking lot. While Erin had thought and hoped that she would be getting onto a plane to Chicago that evening, an unexpected turn in the case required her presence.

"And he's got really loose lips," Erin replied dryly, "He tipped us off to three of his suppliers in upstate New York, and I'm pretty sure he's going to let it slip that they're using the same suppliers to traffic girls."

"Damn," Jay breathed, "And all the product is funneled through Chicago from Canada?"

"Uh-huh, and they get girls on the way as the product moves." Erin paused and heaved a sigh, "I um, don't know if I'll be tonight or even tomorrow. I'm hoping to be back before the weekend."

"We'll be happy to have you back," Jay said honestly, looking in the rearview mirror to the empty car seat behind him.

"How's she doing? Did drop off go okay today?"

"She's alright." Jay rubbed his chin tiredly, "Just…uh, missing her mom."

"You picked her up early because she hadn't slept, right?" Erin blurted out, unable to keep it in any longer, "She's not sleeping?"

"It's not your fault, babe," he replied calmly, "She just needed a nap. We both did, and she slept on your side of the bed last night. We're doing okay."

"I'm not sleeping either," Erin choked out, the raw honestly evident in her voice, "I-I had the hotel send me _ten_ pillows last night."

"Oh, babe," Jay felt his heart clench at his partner's display of sheer vulnerability, "I can be on the next flight out if you want me to be."

"No, no," Erin shook her head, "I just miss you two, that's all. And…and it's just _hard._ You know, to be here, to be on this case and be away from you and from Kate." Her breath hitched, "And I miss Nadia."

Jay was quiet, just allowing his girl to be honest with herself. After a beat, he repeated, "I can be on the next flight out."

"I'm okay, really," Erin sniffed, "It's good to hear your voice. And I'm coming home as soon as I can."

"You'll call if you want me to come though?" Jay closed his eyes, waiting for his girl to answer. He desperately wanted to board a plane to New York against her wishes, but he couldn't leave Kate and didn't want Erin to think he didn't trust her. He did, but he was worried.

"Promise," Erin said quickly, "I better get back but I love you. C-can you call again after you pick Kate up? Don't want her to think I've forgotten about her."

"Of course," Jay smiled, "I love you."

* * *

"Mommy getted on the plane, right?" Kate looked up at Jay expectantly, a streak of chocolate frosting across her cheek, "She comin' home?"

"Yep, she sent me a text right before take off and said that she would be home hopefully right before your bedtime." Jay wiped Kate's cheek with a damp paper towel, "But even if she's a little later, I'm sure she's going to come give you a kiss good night." He paused, glancing down at his little girl's knees. "How are your knees, Squirt?"

Kate shrugged dejectedly, recoiling slightly when he reached a hand out. Jay frowned, "Still hurting?"

 _"What if we took Goose to the park for a bit?" Jay suggested, tapping both hands on Platt's desk and peering behind to see his little girl and her dog friend sitting side-by-side. Goose was looking over Kate's shoulder as she read a book, occasionally putting his nose on her cheek to reminder that he was still there. He perked his head up at the mention of the park._

 _"You got the tennis balls in the car, Daddy?" Kate looked up excitedly, "For Goose to chase?"_

 _"You bet," Jay nodded, a grin spreading across his cheeks as his little girl scrambled to her feet._

 _"I get my coat!" She exclaimed, scurrying toward the back room. Goose looked from Jay to Kate, tail wagging rapidly. The second Kate left his line of sight, the large dog lumbered after her, intent on having eyes on his little master at all times._

 _"He's good with her," Platt mused, "You gotta have him back by five though, there's a mandatory training that Garcia's taking him to."_

 _"Understood," Jay said, unable to keep the smile off his face as Kate rushed back, Goose on her heels. "Slow down there, kiddo."_

 _"I'm excited Daddy!" Kate squealed while he clipped the leash to Goose's collar, "Did Sergeant Platt tell you 'bout Goose's trainin' today?"_

 _"You bet," he confirmed, taking her hand in his, "We'll have him back in time, I promise."_

 _"We gotta make sure Goose keeps his certi-cation," Kate informed him. "Cause if he doesn't, then he can't be a police doggy no more."_

 _"You're right," Jay boosted the little girl into her car seat. "Car, Goose."_

 _The dog jumped into the car, squeezing under Kate's legs and settling himself in the backseat next to the child. "Good boy," Kate praised, reaching a hand to give him a pat while her father fastened the buckles on her seat, "He's gonna do a good job."_

 _Jay absolutely loved listening to Kate talk about Goose. She was so animated and excited, informing Jay all the new things she was teaching her dog with the books she was reading._

 _The park was mostly empty because it was the middle of the day, but it didn't seem to bother Goose. He bounded after the tennis balls, happy to indulge Kate as she shrieked with delight every time he caught them in mid-air. As Jay let the ball slip off his fingertips, he wished Erin was there beside him. While watching his daughter and the dog play in the park was good for him as well, he knew that Erin could use the same kind of relief. There was something so innocent and simple about the two interacting that made all the pain and abuse behind her eyes fade, and allow her just to be a little girl again._

 _A sharp cry drew him out of his reverie. In an instant, Jay was racing toward his little girl, who had taken a tumble on the ground. "Hey, hey, hey," he rushed out, sinking beside his trembling child, "What hurts, kiddo?"_

 _Kate burst into tears, glancing down at her jeans which had torn at the knees. Her skin was raw and bleeding from the cold, hard ground. "Oh, Squirt, it's okay," he said, stroking her hair back, "You're okay, you just took a spill." He glanced around, realizing that Goose was literally right behind him, clearly concerned for his tiny master. "Look, Goose is worried about you too."_

 _"I want Mommy," Kate sobbed as Jay carefully examined her knobby knees, "I want Mommy."_

 _"I know kiddo," Jay soothed, "How about we head back to the district and get you cleaned up there, huh? I think Mommy keeps a change of clothes for you in her locker too."_

 _"I want her," Kate whimpered, shrinking back as Jay leaned forward to pick her up, "I want Mommy to come home."_

 _"She is, soon," Jay promised, stroking her cheek, "But first let's take a look at those knees and get them cleaned up, okay?"_

 _Jay felt helpless as he drove along the street. His little girl had not ceased crying, and she desperately wanted her mother's comfort. Goose appeared distressed at Kate's situation and quickly headed each of Jay's commands while he carried his daughter back to the district._

* * *

 _"I want Mommy to come home," Kate whispered while she sat on the counter in the break room, her father gently dabbing her skinned knees with a wet cloth, "I want her to come home now."_

 _"I know kiddo," Jay tried, at a loss for how to comfort his daughter. As if on cue, Erin's name flashed across the screen. "Hey babe," he answered breathlessly._

 _"Hi." Erin's voice came woeful over the speaker. "I missed my flight."_

 _"Oh, man," Jay ran a hand over his face. "You alright?"_

 _"I'll just be a few more hours," Erin swallowed thickly, "I-I'm going to get on the next flight out. I need to come home. It's been a…long day."_

 _"I get it, babe," Jay replied softly, wishing desperately that he could physically hold his girl, "We'll be waiting okay?"_

 _"She not coming home?" Kate asked, tears filling her eyes after Jay hung up, "Mommy's not coming?"_

 _"She is, kiddo, I promise. She's getting on the next plane, but she should be home soon."_

 _Kate burst into a fresh set of sobs and covered her face with her shaking hands. "I want her," she choked out, "I want Mommy."_

 _"I know," Jay stroked her hair, "I know, I want her to come home too. I know you're missing Mommy snuggles right now, huh?"_

 _Kate nodded tearfully, "How come she's not coming?"_

 _"I think she just missed her plane, kiddo. But I think she'll get on the next flight she can."_

A day later and Erin was finally able to get a flight out. There had been an unexpected development in the case that set them back, so she was forced to stay. She had been gone a whole week in New York, and Kate was seriously missing her mom. Jay didn't have the heart to drop his exhausted, sad little girl off at pre-school Friday morning, and instead brought her to the district. Sitting with Goose only helped so much, and he was counting down the minutes until Erin was back.

He and Kate were preparing a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting for Erin's return, but the little girl was fading fast. She had barely slept the past few nights (as had Jay). "I just miss her," Kate whispered honestly, rubbing her eye with the hand that wasn't holding the spatula, "I think Mommy misses us too."

"You're right," Jay mused, brushing the hair out of her eyes, "What about if we pop this cake in the fridge, and watch a movie, hm?"

"Mommy will be home after?"

"I hope so," Jay kissed her forehead, "Let's brush our teeth first though, hm?"

* * *

Unfortunately, Erin's flight got in later than expected. Jay heaved a sigh of relief when he realized his little girl was already fast asleep before her bedtime, so he tucked her in gently and hoped she would sleep through the night. Just as he was closing the door, the front door opened and in walked his partner.

"Hi," Erin rasped, dropping her bag to the ground and quickly closing the gap between her and her partner.

Jay breathed deeply, holding her close. Oh, how he had missed her.

"I missed you, babe," Jay whispered into her ear, sending goosebumps up her arm, "So much."

"You have no idea," she mumbled, leaning into his embrace, "She asleep?"

"Passed out," Jay confirmed. "But I promised you'd be in for a kiss goodnight."

Erin smiled and quietly padded to the bedroom. Jay watched from the doorway as she pressed a kiss in her daughter's hair and stroked her soft cheek, careful not to wake her sleeping angel.

"Long week, huh?" She said, settling herself on the couch after giving her daughter a kiss goodnight, "Fill me in, what happened?"

Jay kept the conversation pretty high level, choosing not to delve deeply into how little he and Kate slept, how she cried out for her mother and how upset he was that he couldn't comfort her like Erin could. He did mention how grateful he was that Kate had someone like that to want for, to know what a mother's love felt like and to have a partner who could bring their little girl so much.

Erin tearfully listened and recounted the case, snuggled up against her partner. She was reminded of just how well the two of them fit together, like pieces of a puzzle, as they sat together on the couch, mulling over the past few days of each other's absence. "Skinned knees?" Erin asked, "Poor thing."

"She's tough, but she wanted her mom," Jay said, threading his fingers through Erin's hair, "Nothing like Mommy kisses."

Erin smiled wistfully, "I'm so glad to be home, babe."

* * *

Jay awoke abruptly after Erin's arm hit him square in the chest. "What?" he mumbled lazily, his mind still foggy with sleep. He dragged his eyes open when he felt the body beside him flinch violently.

It took him a minute to realize that she was asleep, caught in what appeared to be a traumatic nightmare. Jay gently touched his partner's arm, but she pulled it against her chest, head twitching in distress. They had fallen asleep on the couch after watching a movie, absolutely exhausted by the long week of work and gut-wrenching case. The DVD screen shone brightly as Jay opened his eyes wider. "Er," he mumbled, blearily reaching his hand out again. Frantically, Erin swung her arm again.

"Stop!" she cried out, startling herself awake in the process. She inhaled sharply and promptly burst into tears, covering her face with her palms. Jay sat up quickly, unsure how her nightmare had escalated so quickly. He glanced over to Kate's bedroom, thankful that his little girl had been fast asleep.

"Erin," he said softly, brushing her hair off her face, "It's alright. You just had a bad dream."

Erin's shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands, unwilling to pry her fingers away from her face. "Do you know where you are?" Jay asked her slowly, glancing around the dim apartment and while he gently rubbed her back, trying to ground his partner with his touch.

She let out a strangled sob and pressed a hand to her mouth. "We're in the living room." Jay switched the lamp on next to the couch. "We're okay. Kate's okay, I'm okay, and we're all home. You're in Chicago, babe. It's okay, take a deep breath."

Erin shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. She took another breath, but punctuated it with a sob. Jay furrowed his brow and brought her closer, allowing her to bury her face in his neck. Hot tears sluiced off her cheeks and down the collar of his t shirt as Erin tried to compose herself. "Do you want to tell me about it?" Jay attempted, tucking her soft hair behind her ear.

Erin shook her head, her face still pressed into the crook of Jay's neck. She took shuddery breaths as Jay continued to rub her back, making circular motions with his gentle hands. "It's okay," he repeated, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, "You're back. We're together."

"S-s-sorry," Erin managed, titling her head slightly, "I know you haven't slept either."

"I'm just happy to have you back," Jay replied honestly, kissing the top of her head again, "You okay?"

"Mm," she replied, snuggling closer so Jay could adjust her in his arms, "It was about Nadia."

"I'm sorry," Jay murmured, threading his fingers through her hair, "I'm sure being in New York didn't help."

"Neither did being away from you and Kate." Erin reached her hand up to touch Jay's cheek, "Be honest. Did you sleep while I was away?"

He took a breath. When Jay was being honest with himself, he hadn't slept the past few days, and neither had Kate. Upon realizing that his little girl was lying awake at night, Jay had barely been able to close his eyes. Instead, he watched his daughter's chest slowly rise and fall, and comforted her through a multitude of tragic and heartbreaking nightmares. Although he was able to coax her back to sleep, it didn't change the fact that her mother, the person who she woke up crying for on more than a few occasions, wasn't there to kiss her hair and wipe her cheeks. And to make matters worse, Jay could sense that his partner, over a thousand miles away, was lying awake as well, presumably tossing and turning just the same. So no, Jay didn't really sleep while his girl was away. But he knew that being fully transparent with her would make her hurt more.

"I slept some," he whispered hoarsely, eyes cast downward, "But I think we both were really missing you."

Erin nodded, silently understanding her partner. She hardly slept in New York, haunted by the memories of Nadia and Yates and rescuing her _daughter_. The city itself felt like a bad dream, and working the case wasn't helping.

"You're exhausted," Jay said finally, ghosting his hand over her tear-streaked cheek, "Do you want to go to bed?"

"Not really," Erin mumbled, settling back against his chest and squinting slightly from the harsh blue light from the DVD screen, "'m fine here."

He chuckled lightly and ran a hand over her head, "Sounds good to me. Why don't you try to go back to sleep?"

Again, Erin shook her head. It took a moment, but her green eyes locked on his blues, full of raw honesty, "I…I can't." Her voice cracked slightly, "I'm just… _scared._ "

Jay swallowed and held his girl impossibly tighter to his chest. "I know, babe." He paused, "But we're together now. And Kate's right through that door, sleeping soundly."

"What if we get her?" Erin asked, "Bring her to bed with us?"

He smiled at his partner's proposition and nodded, "Sounds good to me."

* * *

 **Feel free to leave a review - they're a good reminder in my inbox :)**


	64. Chapter 64

**Ah so sorry for being the worst and taking forever. Lots of family time in this chapter to make up for it :) Got a lot of drama coming so get ready!**

* * *

"Daddy?"

"Hey there, Squirt," Jay whispered, holding her closer to his chest as he quietly shuffled out of her bedroom, "I thought we could use a sleepover."

The little girl had been fast asleep when Erin had woken up on the couch, but Jay knew how badly his fiancé wanted to be with their daughter. "Where's Mommy?" Kate mumbled, eyes barely cracked open, "I thought she was comin' home."

"She's home, kiddo, waiting for you." Jay kissed the top of Kate's head and padded into their bedroom, "Hey babe, look who I found."

Kate widened her eyes tiredly, "Mommy?"

"Hi baby." Erin sat up straighter in bed and extended her arms to her partner, "I missed you."

"Mommy," Kate breathed, relaxing against her mother's chest as Jay gently passed her over, "I missed you."

"Oh, I missed you more," Erin cooed, burying her face in Kate's soft hair, "I missed you so much." Her voice hitched as she held Kate closer, "I'm sorry for waking you up."

Kate didn't respond, appearing to already be succumbing to sleep as she snuggled against her mother. "She's almost asleep, Er," Jay murmured, climbing under the covers, unable to keep the smile off his face, "Don't worry."

Erin leaned back against the pillows, unwilling to remove the tiny body from atop her torso. "I'm so glad to be home," she whispered, kissing the top of Kate's head again, "I'm so glad."

"Me too," Jay mumbled, closing his eyes as Erin settled against him, their baby in her arms, "We're so happy to have you back."

* * *

When Erin awoke, she felt rested for the first time in a week. Her daughter was still fast asleep on her chest, head snuggled underneath her chin. She tilted her head up slightly, expecting for her eyes to rest on her fiancé's baby blues.

Instead, Jay was all the way at the other end of the bed, snoring loudly. _That_ is what had woken her up, she thought as she squinted, trying to discern what time it was. Normally, Jay was her body pillow and her head was nestled in the crook of his neck. Instead, Jay was as far from his family as he could be without being off the bed. Erin reached a hand out to her partner, but frowned when she made contact with his warm body.

Jay was always a hot body, but this morning, he felt closer to feverish. Erin frowned again, realizing that her little girl, who was finally healthy, was in close proximity to Jay, who appeared to be running a slight fever. She grunted slightly and hoisted herself off the bed, Kate in her arms, and shuffled across the apartment toward Kate's bedroom. "Mommy?" Kate mumbled, still koala-ed onto her mother as Erin entered her bedroom, "What's goin' on?"

"We're gonna let Daddy sleep in a bit today, hm?" Erin whispered, easing herself onto Kate's bed and kissing the top of her child's head. She smiled at the fact that her baby had yet to release her, "We're gonna snuggle in your bed for a bit, how does that sound?"

"Mm," Kate replied, shivering slightly as Erin pulled the cool sheets over them and snuggling closer, "Daddy didn't do much sleepin' e-der. We were missin' you too much."

When Erin awoke a few hours later, her baby girl was still sandwiched against her. Instead of waking Jay up in the process of making breakfast, Erin decided that she and Kate would go on a special breakfast date and maybe take a trip to the grocery store.

"I'm so glad you comed home," Kate said brightly, offering a smile from the backseat of the Sierra, "Me and Daddy missed you lots."

"I missed you guys too," Erin smiled and glanced in the rearview mirror at her little girl, "What did you and Daddy do while I was in New York?"

"We played with Goose a lot," Kate said after thinking for a moment, "Daddy getted me from school early and we went to the park but I falled." She gestured to her knees and then looked up at the back of her mother's head, "But I missed you _so_ much."

Erin smiled sadly, reflecting on how the little girl she had met less than a year ago was now a permanent blessing in her life, and how much she had truly missed her while she was away. "How about we get some French toast, hm?"

"How come we didn't wake up Daddy?" Kate asked as Erin helped her with the clasps on the car seat, "He likes eggs and French toast too."

"I know he does, babes, but I thought it would be good to let Daddy sleep a bit more this morning. He seemed really tired last night." Erin gave Kate a kiss on the top of her head before helping her down to the ground, "You know how Daddy always lets me sleep in when I'm feeling tired?"

Kate nodded slowly, holding tightly to Erin's hand as they crossed the parking lot, "Well, it's just like that. Daddy was sleepy last night, and this morning he was still sleepy, so I wanted to make sure he got a good rest in. Plus, I thought it would be fun for you and me to have a special diner date, hm?"

A smile spread across Kate's lips, "Yeah! 'Cause it was just me and Daddy for so long." She paused and glanced up at Erin before they entered the diner, "But…we gonna go back to Daddy, right?"

"Of course," Erin assured her, pulling open the door, "Right after we have some French toast and pick up a few things at the grocery store, sound good?"

* * *

Jay rolled over and dragged a hand across his face. He had woken up in the middle of the night relieved to have his girl back home, but feeling overheated with all the bodies in the bed. When he woke up again, he instantly sat up, as he was _never_ the last to wake up. He was about to vacate the bed when his hand brushed a take-out menu with a note scrawled on the back.

 _Morning, babe. You felt feverish this AM, so Kate and I are having breakfast and picking up groceries. Love you._

He sighed and lay back against the pillows, the pounding in his head becoming more prominent. He _had_ needed a good nights rest. Jay cursed under his breath upon realizing that his daughter and fiancé had spent the night beside him. The last thing he wanted was for Kate to get sick, and Erin's last bout with the flu had freaked him out far too much to experience the same thing.

Jay reached for his cell on the night table and instead nearly knocked over a glass of water. Two ibuprofen sat beside the glass, along with a bottle of Gatorade with a post it note that read "Drink me". He managed a smile and downed the pills before leaning back against the pillows. Erin had texted him a few adorable photos of Kate diving into a stack of waffles, so he allowed the medicine to help as he relaxed.

 _"Hey babe," Erin dropped her keys next to her partners and shed her coat, "Feel good to be back?"_

 _"You have no idea," Jay replied as he emerged from the bathroom, clad in a dress shirt with the towel wrapped around his waist, "I forgot how under cover just really takes it out of ya. I'm_ beat."

 _"Well, I come bearing takeout and beer," Erin held up the brown bag of Chinese takeout and a six pack of Jay's favorite beer with the other hand, "Thought you might want just a quiet night in."_

 _"Yeah, but I got us reservations at the Purple Pig, remember?" Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise, "For that bet I lost to you?"_

 _Erin set the six pack and the food on the counter before turning to face her partner. She slowly crossed over and laid a hand delicately on his chest. "Jay, you just worked undercover in a really rough case, I just thought it might be better if we stayed in. Maybe watched a movie?"_

 _Jay glanced down at his girl in awe, smile spreading on his lips. How she could read his mind and know exactly what he needed never ceased to amaze him. "You're an angel," he breathed, resting his lips against her forehead, "_ My _angel."_

 _She chuckled softly and grazed her fingertips over his chest again, "You wanna go put on something a little more comfortable while I get the food plated up? Promise I won't burn anything down in your absence."_

 _He nodded and retreated to the bedroom, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt as he walked. It really had been an incredibly long week for the unit, with Jay undercover at the shelter and all the unfortunate discoveries they found. Jay could tell that Erin had been deeply affected by the horrific experiences so many of the young women were forced to ensure, eerily reminding her of her own tumultuous childhood and teenage years, as well as Nadia's. She had been incredibly strong, even stoic, throughout the week, while Jay felt like he was coming undone at the seams._

 _"Mm," Jay mumbled with appreciation as he scooped fried rice into his mouth. A few pieces dropped on his lap as he brought the fork to his lips. "So good," he said, mouth full of takeout, "So good."_

 _"Yeah, so good you're getting it all over yourself," Erin passed him a napkin, a teasing lilt to her voice, "You up for a movie?"_

 _"Uh huh," he nodded, pushing the empty plate away from him, "That was just what I needed."_

 _"Okay, your turn to pick something out," Erin declared, taking the plates to the kitchen, "I'll clean up, you find something."_

 _"_ I _actually get to pick the movie?" Jay asked incredulously, "But-but you always pick."_

 _She turned and gave a smirk, "I do not. I just said it was your turn." Erin paused, "But please no creepy documentaries, okay babe? Those clockmakers really freaked me out."_

 _"I can work with that." He gingerly got up from the table and walked to the couch, not realizing that his partner was watching._

 _"What's wrong?" Erin asked, removing her hands from the sudsy gloves and placing them on her thin hips, "Why are you limping?"_

 _"I'm fine," Jay batted his hand, scrolling through movie options on Netflix with the other, "You comin' over?" He settled on one and hit play._

 _"Not until you tell me why you were limping." Erin folded her arms across her chest, "What happened?"_

 _"It's nothing really, babe. Just the new boots, they made my feet hurt. I'll be fine tomorrow, but come on, let's just watch." Jay patted the couch next to him, "You can put your ass right next to mine, Lindsay."_

 _Erin huffed and marched over to the couch, not even pausing to look at the screen before pushing Jay over so that he was no longer upright with his back against the cushions, but tilted on his side. "What?" He looked up at her in surprise, "You said I could pick the movie!"_

 _"I know," Erin sank down on the other end of the couch and hoisted one of his feet up so that his shin was across her lap, "You also were limping."_

 _"You're gonna rub my feet?" Jay widened his eyes in surprise._

 _Erin flashed a soft smile, "Jay, you had a rough week. And you are_ always _there for me. The least I could do is make your feet hurt a little less." She dug her thumbs into his aching soles, smiling as he closed his eyes in appreciation._

 _"You really are my angel," he mumbled, settling against the cushions._

* * *

"Okay, baby, I got the groceries, you head to the bathroom," Erin instructed, holding the reusable bags in one arm, holding the door open with the other. Kate nodded, clearly desperate to go, and hurried across the living room.

"Hey," Jay called from the couch, turning the game on mute and turning to his partner, "How was breakfast?"

"Delicious," she replied, kicking the front door closed with her foot, "How are you feeling, babe?"

"I'm good," Jay insisted, raising his arms in defense, "Really."

"You were running a fever this morning," Erin shot back, crossing the living room after depositing the groceries on the kitchen counter. She furrowed her brow slightly at Jay's pink cheeks and brought a hand to his forehead before he could protest, "Still a little warm."

"I just woke up," Jay replied, standing quickly from his spot on the couch, "I'm fine, babe, really. Just needed a good night's sleep."

Erin scowled, "Yeah, right."

"I'm fine, Er, promise," he argued, stretching slightly, "I took the ibuprofen, but I'm not sick."

"Daddy!" Kate exclaimed as she emerged from the bathroom, grin spread across her cheeks, "Me and Mommy getted groceries and we got waffles too!"

"Oh really?" Jay grinned. "Well, that sounds like fun. How about we build a castle too, hm?"

"Yeah!" She scampered over to her father, ready to give him a hug.

As much as he wanted to wrap his little girl up in his arms, he didn't want to get her sick. "Hold up Squirt, I-I don't want you to get sick."

Kate stopped in her tracks, while Erin smirked at her partner. "You sick?" Kate asked, glancing up at Erin worriedly, "Daddy's _sick_?"

 _Oops_ , Jay thought with a slight grimace. He shot a desperate look to his fiancé.

"Just a bit under the weather, baby," Erin assured her, lifting the child into her embrace, hoping to avoid a panic on the little girl's part, "But he's feeling better after he slept in. I think just relaxing on the couch would be good, don't you think so too, babe?"

"Sounds good to me," Jay offered a smile, "I'm okay, Squirt. Promise."

"We get Daddy blankets?" Kate asked her mother, looking back worriedly at her father, "We don't gotta call Uncle Will?"

"Blankets would be good," Erin smiled, tucking a few loose tentrils behind Kate's tiny ears, "And I don't think we need to call Will. Daddy's on the mend already." She turned to Jay, "Halstead, why don't you park yourself over on the couch, and Kate and I will over in a second?"

He nodded and resumed his spot, glancing over to the kitchen where the two ladies in his life were conspiring against him.

"Does Daddy need ice pack?" Kate whispered, "Like when you got your head hurt?"

"Hm," Erin tapped her chin, "I don't think so, but maybe an apple juice? Do you want to bring Daddy a juice box?"

Kate nodded and accepted the carton from her mother. "How 'bout crackers?"

"Great idea," Erin affirmed, reaching into the cupboard for a package of Saltines. "Anything else?"

"You gonna make Daddy tea?" Kate suggested, "With lemons?"

"I will. And you know what, I may make some for me too. Would you like some?" Erin placed a hand on the fridge handle to get a lemon.

Kate smiled, but it quickly left her face. "Wait! There's a surprise in the fridge."

Erin raised her eyebrows, "A surprise?"

The little girl peeked around the kitchen, "Daddy, Mommy's gonna see the surprise!"

"That's okay, kiddo," Jay assured her, quickly getting to his feet, "Tomorrow is Mommy's birthday, so I think it would be okay if she saw the surprise today. Plus, we made it yesterday and we don't want it to get old."

The smile returned to Kate's face, "Okay, Mommy you can look!"

"I can? Are you sure?" Erin asked, grin on her lips. She caught her partner's gaze, whose eyes, despite the low-grade fever, were twinkling with anticipation.

"Go ahead, babe," Jay instructed.

Erin pulled open the refrigerator door to reveal a cake, perfectly frosted and decorated with blue sprinkles on the top. "Happy birthday, Mommy!" Kate cheered, bouncing up and down slightly, "Me and Daddy made you a cake!"

"Wow!" Erin exclaimed, reaching into the fridge to remove the confection, "You two did all this?" She placed it on the counter and boosted Kate into her arms, "Thank you my love."

"Daddy helped me frost but I got to do all the mixin'," Kate said proudly. She looked over at her father, who was leaning against the fridge door smiling. "And we got the res-py from Grandpa Hank."

"Really?" Erin looked to Jay in surprise, "You got Camille's cake recipe out of Hank?"

"We did," Jay confirmed, "Took a little convincing, but Hank agreed to it."

"Well, I cannot wait to eat it," Erin said, placing Kate on the kitchen counter, "Should we wait until tomorrow though?"

Kate thought for a minute, "Til Daddy's feelin' better, den he can give you a _kiss_." She grinned cheekily.

"Mm, that sounds perfect," Erin agreed, "But I'll take kisses from you now."

Kate giggled and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck, "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, baby. And you too, Halstead." Erin reached a hand out, "Even when you're sick and germy." She pulled on his t shirt, bringing him closer to the shoulder opposite to where she was holding her little girl. "I think we can make an exception." Erin kissed his lips tenderly.

"Babe, you'll get sick too." Jay pulled back, "The last time you had the flu scared the hell out of me."

"I'll be fine," Erin insisted, kissing him again, "I just missed you, okay?"

"Missed you," Jay mumbled, pulling back again. "We did okay, didn't we, Squirt?"

Kate nodded, "We played with Goose a whole lot."

"That explains the dog hair," Erin chuckled, "Alrighty, Halstead. Couch for you. We'll be there in a minute okay?"

"Mm," Jay replied, shuffling to the couch, "Don't be long. I always feel better when I'm with my girls."

* * *

 **Feel free to leave a review!**


	65. Chapter 65

**Sorry it's been so long but I haven't given up on this story just yet. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

The following morning, Erin laid awake in her daughter's bed, tenderly threading her fingers through the little girl's soft hair as she slept snuggled into her shoulder. While Jay had been feeling much better following the crackers, apple juice and gentle ministrations from his girls, he insisted that he spend the night on the couch so that neither Erin nor Kate would get sick. However, both the ladies in his life were stubborn, and were adamant that he spend the night in his bed while Erin had a sleepover with Kate.

"Mommy?"

Erin widened her eyes upon the realization that her little girl was awake, "Morning, baby. Did you sleep well?"

"Uh-huh," Kate murmured, rubbing her eyes tiredly with her fist, "Daddy still sleepin'?"

"I think so," Erin replied, scratching the top of Kate's scalp slightly, "I'm sure he's feeling better after a good night's rest."

Kate nodded and exhaled softly, "Daddy said he's gonna get special dinner tonight because it's your birthday."

"Oh yeah?" Erin asked, "We don't have to do anything special."

The little girl looked quizzically at her mother, "You don't like your birthday?" She paused, recalling the conversation she had with her father a few days prior. "Oh! I'm sorry, I-I-I didn't mean to make you sad."

"It's okay, baby, really. I'm not sad, promise." Erin gently held Kate's arm as the little girl tried to pull away in anguish, "I'm very excited to do something special."

Kate breathed a soft sigh of relief, "Okay, 'cause Daddy made a 'res-vation at the Pig Place."

"The Purple Pig?" She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. After a few days away from her little girl, all Erin wanted to do was to spend time with her family together. By no means did she want her baby to think that her parents were abandoning her on their first family birthday together.

"You don't like it?" Kate furrowed her brow, "Daddy said you like the tuff-ls."

"No, no, I do like truffles, but I…" Erin trailed off, unsure how to tell the little girl that her parents were going out for the night without her. Typically, she and Jay played date nights as special time for Kate and Hank or Will, so to not frighten her.

"Come on babe, you know you can't resist the desserts either," Jay poked his head into Kate's bedroom wearing a cheeky grin. "Table for three at six thirty."

Erin raised her eyebrows. "Table for three, huh?" It wasn't exactly a family-friendly place. While Kate wasn't a picky eater or a rambunctious little girl, Erin was skeptical that the host would even let them sit down.

Jay grinned in response, knowing full well that his girl didn't want to spend the evening away from their daughter. "You bet."

"Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, "You feelin' better?"

"So much better," Jay confirmed, creeping toward the bed, "In fact, I feel up to a birthday tickle fight!"

"Ah!" The little girl squealed and burrowed closer to her mother under the covers, "Daddy, we're snugglin', not ticklin' this morning!"

"Oh are we now?" Jay ceased wiggling his fingers teasingly and leaned over Kate's body to kiss Erin's lips, "I guess we can make an exception on Mommy's birthday."

"Mm," Erin replied, reaching up to tug Jay's t shirt lightly, "Come snuggle for a bit, babe."

* * *

"We don't _have_ to go to dinner, you know," Erin informed Jay as she quickly swiped mascara onto her lashes, "I'd be fine with just take out and a movie."

"It's your birthday, babe," Jay replied, adjusting his sport coat, "We're going to do something special as a family and celebrate _you_ and all of us being together."

"I know, and I love you for wanting to do something special," Erin turned and smoothed her hands over Jay's chest, "But I'm not sure if there's anything Kate will want to eat on the menu and it's not really a place for families and-"

"Er." He titled her chin up gently, "We'll figure it out, promise. Let's have a nice night okay? We'll come back early if you hate it. I know it's a rough day for you."

She nodded solemnly and blinked, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I'll go see if she's ready."

Erin took a deep breath and gently knocked on Kate's bedroom door. "Kate, baby? Are you getting ready to go?" She paused when there was no reply? "Kate? I'm coming in, okay?"

She pushed open the door, revealing her little girl standing in front of her closet, still wearing her clothes from earlier that day. "You didn't want to change, babes?" Erin asked, slowly approaching her daughter.

Kate spun around, her eyes swimming with nervousness. "I-I-I didn't know what to pick," she whispered. She cast her eyes down toward her tiny toes, "I never been to fancy dinner before."

Erin felt her heart clench, recognizing that feeling all too well.

 _"Erin, honey, come on now. We're heading out soon," Camille smiled warmly as Erin slumped on the couch, watching whatever program Justin happened to have on at the time, "Jump in the shower now so you're ready when Hank gets home, which should be in about forty five minutes."_

 _Erin glanced up at the woman, "I'm coming to this thing?" She asked, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. She self-consciously adjusted the leather jacket around her too-thin shoulders and hated herself as Camille peered into her soul._

 _"Of course you're coming. We always go to the bistro for Hank's birthday," Camille replied firmly, "Go on and get cleaned up. The television will still be here when you get back."_

 _She grunted slightly and hoisted herself off the couch to trudge up the steps. "I've laid a dress out on your bed," Camille called behind her, "Shoes are by the door."_

 _Erin stood at the edge of the bed and glanced down at the piece of fabric laying atop the comforter. The tags were still on the dress – she had never owned a brand-new dress. Most things that were hers came from thrift shops and hand-me downs. Bunny had_ never _bought her new clothes as far back as Erin could remember._

 _"Are you ready?" Camille knocked on the bedroom door and carefully pushed it open. She quizzically looked at the young woman sitting atop the bed, clenching the comforter so tight her knuckles were white. "Is the dress too big? We can exchange it for another one and I have something you can wear in the meantime."_

 _Erin shook her head, "I didn't try it on."_

 _"Well come on then," Camille gestured for Erin to stand, "Hank will be home any minute."_

 _She shook her head, "Camille, I-I can't accept this." Erin gripped the comforter tighter._

 _"Whyever not?" The woman asked, her voice softening as she tried to meet Erin's eyes, strands of hair obstructing her view._

 _"I don't deserve it," Erin mumbled, leaning away when Camille sat beside her on the bed, "I don't."_

 _"Oh, Erin, honey," Camille wrapped an arm around her shoulders, feeling the child stiffen beneath her touch, "_ Of course _you deserve it." When Erin shook her head shamefully, Camille tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Sweetheart, you've been clean nearly two months. You're in back school, doing well in fact, and you've been so patient with Justin."_

 _Erin shook her head again, "But I was awful to you. Putting you through that."_

 _Camille was silent, but brought Erin in closer despite her rigidity. "You have been dealt a rough hand of cards, my dear. You did what you had to do in order to survive. But you're here now. And let me tell you, you snapping at me while you were detoxing on the bathroom floor was the least of my worries in that moment, and now it's a distant memory." She put a hand up to Erin's cheek, "You're a part of the family, so of course I'm going to buy you a nice dress because you deserve it."_

 _With that, Erin cracked, tears running freely down her cheeks, leaving streaks of mascara in their wake. "Shh, Erin-honey," Camille rubbed her arms gently and held her closer, "You're alright now. Everything's okay."_

 _After a few moments, Erin sniffed and pulled back. "I like that you call me that, you know. My mom she… she never had anything nice to call me."_

 _Camille brought Erin back in, "Well, you've got me now, Erin-honey."_

"We're going to fix that tonight," Erin replied after she had cleared the lump in her throat, "How about that blue dress in the back there?" She crouched beside Kate and gestured to the navy dress hanging in the corner of the closet.

"I didn't know I got that one," Kate said quietly, touching the material as Erin held it out.

"Looks a little like mine, don't you think?" Erin eyes sparkled, "How do you feel about almost matching tonight?"

Kate's eyes lit up, "Really?"

"Of course!" Erin helped the little girl change into the dress and gently ran a brush through her hair. "Ready?"

She nodded and slipped her hand in her mother's. "Well, don't my girls look gorgeous," Jay beamed as Erin and Kate emerged from the bedroom, "Wow. You two clean up very nicely." Kate giggled shyly.

"You don't look half bad yourself," Erin teased, leaning up to kiss Jay's lips, "Shall we?"

* * *

"Halstead, party of three," Jay said to the host, flashing a grin at Erin and Kate. The little girl held tightly to her mother's hand, unable to see much due to the tall stature of everyone around her.

"Right this way," the gentleman collected the menus and instructed the family to follow him through the restaurant. Erin nervously glanced around, realizing that there were in fact no children present at the restaurant.

"Jay," Erin hissed, shaking her head slightly.

"Trust me, babe," Jay promised. She sighed and held tighter to Kate, hoping for the best.

"Here you are," the host smiled kindly, stepping aside to reveal a table for three, one with a raised seat for Kate.

Erin glanced to Jay in surprise. "I called ahead," Jay shrugged, flashing another grin, "C'mon, you must be starving." He pulled out Kate's chair. "This look okay, Squirt?"

Kate nodded and reluctantly let Erin's hand go so Jay could settle her into the chair. "Your server will be with you momentarily," the man said, exiting the table and leaving the family alone.

"So?" Jay raised his eyebrows proudly, "What do you think?"

"I think you are just full of surprises," Erin opening the large menu and glancing at the options, none of which appeared suitable for a four year old.

"Hello, my name is Dave and I'll be your server this evening. I also have a special menu for this young lady right here," the waiter said, handing Kate a piece of paper that had a few more kid-friendly items listed. "Let me know if you have any questions. I'll be back in a bit to take your drink order."

Erin shot Jay another incredulous look. "How'd you manage to pull this off?" she asked, glancing down at the special menu for Kate. "Wow, that all looks really good, baby," she beamed.

"I got a guy," Jay winked, "Happy birthday, babe. What would you like to drink?"

* * *

"Clear!" Jay shouted, his weapon still drawn in front as the Intelligence unit raided what appeared to be a stash house. While Erin's birthday had been a massive success, criminals did not take a day off. The case that Intelligence thought had been wrapped up in New York made an ugly reappearance with the discovery of multiple homicides related to the same cartel.

The dark building smelled of mildew and stale beer as the unit scoped out each room. "Body," Atwater swallowed thickly as he caught sight of a decapitated young man in the bathroom, head in the sink.

"Cartels," Antonio muttered, "Anyone check upstairs?"

"Lindsay and Ruzek are up there now," Hank glanced up the steps and then around the dingy space with a grimace.

"Body," Ruzek's saddened voice called from upstairs. Jay raised his eyebrows at his coworker's unusually disturbed tone. "It's a kid," he added, leaning his head down the steps, visibly shaken, "She's just a kid."

"Damn," Atwater muttered, quickly looking for the exit, "I'll uh- call the coroner."

"Jay," Ruzek gestured up the steps. The young officer's wide eyes indicated that his partner needed him. He nodded grimly and proceeded up the steps, unsure of what he would find at the top.

The small bedroom at the top of the stairs was basically empty, save for a twin sized mattress in the corner. Jay sucked in a breath, overwhelmed by the sense of déjà vu as he peered into the room. Erin was crouched next to the lifeless body of a small little girl, around the same age as his own daughter. "Er," Jay managed after he found his voice, "C'mon, uh, the coroner is almost here."

Erin looked up, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She made no moves to abandon the child, so Jay crossed the room and rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Babe," he whispered, "Let's go get the guys who did this."

She nodded and stood on shaky feet, accepting Jay's hand to stand up. Silently, the detectives exited the bedroom and walked down the steps as forensics and other units entered the house. "She's Kate's age," Erin choked out, swallowing harshly as the unit stood together solemnly, "They shot her, point blank."

Hank nodded, his teeth gritted together, "We'll get them."

Erin turned for the Sierra but chose to sit in the passenger seat. "Uh, Sarge?" Jay asked. The gruff man raised his eyebrows in anticipation of his detective's question, "Would it be alright if Erin and I picked Kate up from school? I think uh, it would be good for us to see her after…" he gestured to the house, "I just want to hug my kid."

"I get that," Hank replied, casting a glance back to Erin, who was seated in the Sierra, staring down at her phone, "Keep an eye on her, would you?"

"Always."

* * *

"Babe?"

"Mhm?" Erin snapped out of her reverie and turned toward her partner. "We're at Kate's school?"

"Mm-hm," Jay affirmed, unbuckling his seat belt, "I texted Platt, I thought it would be good for us to pick her up today." He drew in a breath, "Just…after today, I um, really needed to see her."

She nodded slowly and sighed, "Yeah. Me too. Finding that kid," Erin swallowed, "It-it could have easily been Kate." Her voice cracked, "And I don't even want to _think_ about that. Or what our lives would be like without her because she is just so-" She stopped, unable to finish the sentence.

"I know, babe, I know." Jay reached over the center console and brought a hand to Erin's cheek, "But we got her. She's ours, and she's healthy and happy and the bravest kid I ever met." He smiled sadly and stroked her cheek gently with the pad of his thumb, "And we owe it to our kid to be there for her, because that poor little girl today didn't have anyone looking out for her."

Erin managed a watery nod and brought her hand up to her partner's. "How'd you know just what to say?"

"I'm not just a pretty face," Jay joked, earning a snort from his fiancé.

"Yeah, yeah," Erin muttered, dragging the back of her hand across her face to get rid of any residual tears, "Let's go get our girl, hm?"

* * *

"Daddy?" Kate widened her eyes as she spotted her father among the many parents at pick up, "Mommy?"

"Hey, baby!" Erin grinned, squatting down to accept a hug, "How was your day?"

"You surprised me!" The little girl said excitedly, "I thought Sergeant Platt was comin' to get me."

"We just missed you so much," Jay bent down to kiss the top of his daughter's head.

"We goin' home early?" Kate looked up at her father hopefully, "And play legos?"

"Well, Daddy and I have a few things to wrap up back at the district," Erin smoothed Kate's hair back, feeling guilty when the little girl's face fell slightly, "But I think Goose will be very excited to see you."

"Goose gonna be there?" Kate widened her eyes, "He not trainin' today?"

"He's all yours. He had training this morning," Jay's eyes twinkled, "I'm sure he'd love to read a story or two."

* * *

"Halstead, Lindsay, we gotta go," Ruzek knocked forcefully on the door frame to the breakroom and peered in urgently. Jay was brewing a pot of coffee while Erin was sitting beside Kate, helping her color in a picture. Goose sat beside them, occasionally moving his nose to rest in the little girl's lap. "Got a hit."

Jay quickly abandoned the coffee. "Alrighty Squirt, you know the drill. Sergeant Platt will be up in a few, Mommy and I just need to vest up and we'll be back soon, okay?"

Kate nodded bravely, dropping the colored pencil and hugging Erin tightly. "You gonna come back through, right?"

"Always, baby." Erin kissed her forehead. "Daddy and I'll be back soon." While she was accustomed to leaving her little girl behind when duty called, it never got any easier to kiss her good bye.

"We love you, kiddo." Jay knelt beside his girls and stroked Kate's cheek, "Can you draw me a picture?"

Kate nodded again and wrapped her arms around her father's neck. "I love you too, Daddy."

"Lindsay. Halstead," Hank barked from the bullpen, "Vest up."

"Gotta go, babes. Have fun with Goose and be good like always, okay? Love you," Erin pressed a kiss on the top of Kate's head before hustling out of the breakroom, unable to look back at her daughter for fear she'd stop in her tracks.

* * *

"They've got two kids as hostage," Atwater informed them as they crouched behind an abandoned car in the lot, "Called in for back up."

"I think I can get a shot," Jay replied, glancing at the warehouse where the captors were holding the kids, "Just gotta get a bit closer."

"No!" Erin exclaimed, "Are you crazy?"

"You got a better idea?" Dawson asked her, sizing up the distance from where they were standing to the warehouse, "They'll kill the kids once they hear SWAT. Halstead's our best shot."

"It's too risky," Erin argued as Jay opened his mouth to protest, "We should wait for backup."

"You speaking as a cop or as a fiancé?" Antonio snapped, "They're gonna kill these kids."

Erin scowled and was ready to rebut when Jay stepped in, "He's right, Erin. It's now or never."

She shook her head again, "I'm speaking as your _partner._ "

"He's got us for back up," Hank decided, "Halstead, you're up."

Erin scowled again but recognized that she was out numbered. "Be careful, Halstead," she said tersely.

"Always am," Jay replied, holding his weapon out in front. "I got this. Stay behind me." The rest of the unit nodded, weapons drawn.

Jay maneuvered out in front of the vehicle and toward the warehouse, the unit a few paces behind. He gestured that he was going to pull open the doors and received a nod from Hank to confirm.

The door crept open and Jay let off too shots, resulting in shouts from the criminals. Everything happened in seconds as Atwater and Lindsay scooped up the frightened young boys while Halstead, Antonio and Al barreled into the warehouse.

Suddenly everything went silent when a single shot rang out from the other side of the wearhouse, followed by Erin's blood-curdling scream.

" _Jay_!"


	66. Chapter 66

**Wow, I can't believe I've been doing this for a whole year! Thanks to all who are continuing to read and review, but I'll probably be wrapping this up in a few chapters as I think the story has run it's course. I don't have any plans for a sequel given my lack of inspiration, but if there is anything you'd like to see, feel free to leave a comment.**

* * *

 _"Where are we going, Halstead?" Erin asked as he pulled into an empty space. "Nowhere is going to be open. It's like two in the morning."_

 _"I know a place." He grinned cheekily and opened the door for his partner._

 _"We're almost on the University campus." Erin looked around, noticing the U Chicago flags flapping silently in the early fall breeze._

 _"Nobody will know that we're not in college." Jay opened the door to a Chinese restaurant that somehow was still open. "Come on, I've done this a million times."_

 _"A million times huh?" Erin raised her eyebrows suspiciously, "Why have you been looking for two AM Chinese food a_ million _times?"_

 _"I don't know, I mean, sometimes, when I can't sleep, I go for a drive. And sometimes, I'd get hungry. And you know I love fried rice," he reminded her as they sat down at a booth. "And plus, I like to come here when there's no food at my place. Not like I have time for grocery shopping when we're been up for more than 36 hours."_

 _Erin glanced at the menu. "Pork fried dumplings at two in the morning?"_

 _"There's a first time for everything."_

 _"How come you never told me about this place?" Erin closed her menu and folded her arms across her chest, "I'm your partner, Halstead. Have been for six months. And you_ know _I love kung pau chicken. Can't believe you'd keep something like this from me."_

 _"I'm full of surprises," Jay wiggled his eyebrows and received an eye-roll in return._

* * *

 _"Jay! Have you seen my-?" Erin glanced up when her partner held the left grey combat boot in front of her, "My left boot." She took it from him and scowled, "Can't find anything in this place."_

 _"I know, I'm sorry about the boxes," Jay apologized, reaching a hand out to help his girlfriend up off the floor, "Didn't realize how much stuff I had."_

 _Her eyes softened and she rested a palm on his chest, "Yeah, who knew you were such a girl, Halstead."_

 _He rolled his eyes, "And who knew you could be so grumpy in the morning?"_

 _Erin scrunched up her nose, "I haven't had coffee yet."_

 _Jay gestured to the steaming mug that was resting on her bedside table, "I figured you were still asleep. Didn't realize your closet had exploded."_

 _She chuckled and moved her hand from his chest to the buckle on his belt, "Well, I'm not the one with ten black t shirts, am I?"_

 _"You definitely have ten grey ones," Jay retorted, slipping one of_ his _t shirts over her head, "You're the one who needs to shower though babe."_

 _Erin wrinkled her nose, "Is that your way of telling me I smell, Jay?" He smirked as she pawed at his black t shirt, "I plan on working up quite a sweat."_

 _"I'm clean! And we'll be late."_

 _"So be it," Erin replied huskily, fumbling with the button on his jeans, "We'll shower together after. Save some water."_

* * *

 _"I-I don't think I can reach," Kate whispered, glancing up at the large fruit-bearing tree with wide eyes. Once the leaves turned, Jay remembered that Erin had never been apple picking, and neither had Kate. He did his research and found a place not too far outside Chicago, excited to get his family out of the city for some fresh air._

 _"Me either, baby. The apples are pretty high up there," Erin assured her, holding Kate's small hand in her own. The rows of trees boasted an array of colorful apples, ripe for the plucking. "I don't think Jay can reach either."_

 _Kate widened her eyes, "Even though he's tall?"_

 _"I'm afraid I'm not tall enough, Squirt," Jay smiled, sizing up the apple tree in front of them, "But you know what? I think, if I put you on my shoulders, you may be tall enough."_

 _The little girl's eyes widened even farther, "I-I could sit up there?"_

 _"Absolutely. If you would like to," Jay said quickly, not wanting to pressure his timid little girl into anything she was uncomfortable with, "Don't worry, I'll hold really tight."_

 _"I be safe up on Jay's shoulders?" Kate looked to Erin worriedly and then up at Jay._

 _"Yep," Erin confirmed, brushing some of Kate's hair out of her face, "Do you want to try to reach the apples?"_

 _Kate gave a shy smile and nodded. "Okay, I'm going to pick you up and put you on my shoulder," Jay explained, wanting to talk through the process with his little girl first so she knew what to expect, "And then you can try to reach, how does that sound?"_

 _"Okay, here we go!" Jay boosted her into his arms and delicately placed her on his shoulders. Kate looked around in awe as she gripped the collar of Jay's light jacket tightly in her fists. "How's the view from up there?" Jay asked, tilting his head slightly, trying to get a read on what Kate thought of the experience._

 _"So high!" Kate exclaimed, glancing around the orchard. She looked down to Erin, "But I don't think I can reach still."_

 _"What about that branch?" Erin gestured to a lower-hanging branch with a few red apples hanging, "Do you think you can reach that one?"_

 _Kate looked up at the fruit and back down at Erin. "I-I-I don't wanna let go of Jay," she whispered, "I don't wanna fall."_

 _"I won't let you fall, I promise. I have a good grip," Jay said, offering Erin a reassuring smile when she looked worriedly to her partner. She hadn't wanted to make the little girl feel unsafe in any way. "But you don't have to let go, kiddo."_

 _Kate furrowed her brow upon another glance at the fruit. "I can try with one hand," she decided, carefully releasing her death grip on the right hand. She quickly returned it to the hold on Jay's coat. "B-but you catch me? If I fall?"_

 _"Absolutely," Jay promised, "But you're not going to fall, Squirt, I promise."_

 _Kate took another deep breath and reached out to the tree, a look of determination written across her delicate features. Erin quickly snapped a picture as the little girl grabbed an apple and tugged. "I got it!" Kate exclaimed, looking down at Erin excitedly._

 _"Wow, baby!" Erin beamed, "That looks delicious."_

* * *

 _"Who's that Daddy?" Kate asked, standing at her father's side while he was putting away clean laundry. Erin was meeting with a CI, and Jay enlisted his little girl to help match her mother's multitude of mismatched socks. When he opened his sock drawer, a crumpled black and white picture fluttered to the floor. He had picked it up quickly, in the hopes that Kate wouldn't notice. Unfortunately, he wasn't quick enough._

 _"Uh, it's just an old friend of mine, Squirt," Jay replied quickly, shoving the picture underneath his winter socks. "Don't worry about it, okay?"_

 _Kate looked unconvinced. "Are…you okay?" she asked quietly, watching her father's face become progressively more defeated. Jay gazed into the sock drawer, pulling the picture out again and staring at it sadly. "Daddy?"_

 _"It's nothing, kiddo, really." Jay shook his head and blinked rapidly, "I'm fine."_

 _She looked up at him, eyes soft, "But you look real sad. And now I'm worryin' 'bout you."_

 _He chuckled and sat down on the bed. "Now why would you be worried about me?"_

 _"Because you're sad." Kate watched as he held the photo in his hand. "I don't want you to be sad."_

 _He smiled, the feeling of melancholy washing over him in waves. "Well, I guess I am a little sad."_

 _Kate reached into the drawer and pulled out the crinkled photograph. It was a picture of a young boy, around seven years old, eyes bright and shining. "Is that you?" Kate murmured, running her forefinger over the picture._

 _"Um, no. It's my um, friend. Ben," Jay managed weakly. "He was a kid I used to know."_

 _"He's not your friend anymore?" Kate looked up at her father with sad eyes. He shook his head, crinkling the photo in his hands._

 _"No, uh…he's not alive, um... he was killed. It happened a few years ago but um, around this time. So I was just thinking about him today."_

 _"I'm sorry." Kate wrapped her arms around Jay's torso and hugged him tightly. "I didn't mean to make you sad."_

 _"Oh no, kiddo. It's okay." Jay looked down at his sweet little girl. "I'm okay. Just glad I have you here."_

 _"I love you lots, Daddy. And that boy was very lucky you were his friend." She kissed his arm gently and held closely._

* * *

"No, Erin!" Hank wrapped his strong arms around her shoulders as she barreled toward where Jay had fallen.

"Let me go!" She screamed, struggling against her almost-father's hold, "Let me go!"

"Hey, hey, hey," Dawson trapped one of her flailing arms, "Erin, hold on, we got this."

"That's my partner!" Erin choked out, gasping for a breath as she fought against the many arms holding her back, "That's my…Jay!"

"Just the vest," Jay's voice called out. Hank heaved a sigh of relief.

A myriad of emotions flowed through Erin's vein's as her partner, her fiancé, her best friend, emerged from behind the wall, unscathed. "I'm okay, I'm okay," Jay insisted, wiping his hands on his jeans, slowly approaching his girl. Hank and Dawson released their hold around her as he came closer. "I'm fine, Er."

She could barely hear him through the pounding in her ears and the sound of her own harsh pants. "You sure you're good, Halstead?" Hank asked, furrowing his brow and sizing up the detective.

"All good Sarge," Jay confirmed. He raised his arms, "Erin, I'm fine."

"Offenders either down or in custody," Ruzek confirmed, "And…yo, Linds, you good?" Erin was bent over, hands on her knees, sucking in air as she tried to take a breath.

"Erin," Hank's voice was urgent. He rested a hand on her back while her fiancé closed the gap between them.

"I'm fine," she managed, finally upright, "I-I just got the wind knocked out of me."

"You're not hurt, are you?" Jay asked quickly, placing his hands on her shoulders and giving her a good once-over. Erin shook her head and pushed his hands off, "No - don't touch me," she growled, her gaze turning cold. He stepped back in surprise.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Erin moved away from Voight and put her hands on her hips.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?!" Erin shouted, causing all uniforms in the area to turn their heads.

"We got the guy," Jay replied, "What exactly is the problem here?"

"That was really fucking reckless," Erin hissed, turning on her heel and heading for the exit.

Jay threw his hands up in frustration and stalked out. "Why the hell is she so mad?" he asked to nobody in particular, though Atwater was within earshot.

"No offense, man, but I do _not_ want to get involved in your relationship," Atwater replied.

"You sure you're good, kid?" Hank asked his detective, "Thought you were going to pass out for a second there."

"No, 'm good," she insisted, glancing around the building, "We got the kids out?"

"Offenders in custody," Alvin confirmed, "But there was one kid that uh, looks like we didn't get here in time."

"Damn," she muttered. "Let's go question them." Erin turned for the Sierra.

"Nuh-uh, you're riding with me," Hank insisted, gesturing for her to get into his escalade. She grumbled but complied, arms folded against her vest.

* * *

"Are we ever going to talk about what happened back there?" Jay turned to Erin as they stood behind the glass while Alvin and Antonio questioned the main offender.

"Hank already bit my head off for being unprofessional, so you can save yourself the trouble," Erin replied, not taking her eyes off the suspect.

"Er," Jay said, rubbing his face tiredly, "We do this all the time. The whole damn job is dangerous."

She shook her head, still unwilling to even look at her partner. "Don't you think I know that?" Erin gritted out, "I know the job's dangerous. But it doesn't make it any easier to watch you sprint into an open warehouse where people are opening fire on all of us."

"There were kids in there!" Jay exclaimed, "And-"

"I know!" Erin interrupted, "I know, okay? It was irrational of me to freak out at you like that in front of everyone, so just drop it. We're past it."

Jay opened his mouth to reply, but closed it and took a deep breath. "Then why won't you look at me?" he asked softly.

"Because. If I look at you," her voice cracked slightly, "I'm fine."

"Babe," Jay whispered, reaching a hand out to touch hers, her knuckles white from gripping the edge of the two-way mirror, "Look at me, please."

She drew in a sharp breath and turned to him, eyes shining with tears. "You're not just my partner anymore, Jay," Erin managed, "You're our daughter's dad. And you got _shot_ today. I could have _lost_ you today."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Jay pulled her into his embrace, "I'll try to stop being so reckless, I promise."

* * *

"Good to see you two have sorted yourselves out," Hank approached the two detectives after they had returned to their workplace professionalism, "Jay, I already told Erin, but keep yourselves professional otherwise I'm separating you."

"Understood, Sarge," Jay nodded, "What's up?"

"The kid that didn't make it," Hank said quietly, "Fifteen year old Andre Urillio, turns out that he was one of the shooters."

"Damn," Erin breathed, "And those other kids?"

"His little brothers," Hank nodded, "They're with DCFS. But Halstead, the bullet that killed the kid came from your gun."

Erin and Jay were both silent as they absorbed the information, "It was a good shoot," Hank continued, "You took a bullet to the vest for crying out loud. But you're needed downtown tomorrow morning to talk it over with the commander. Al's gotta be there as well and it should be straightforward. A formality."

"I got it," Jay nodded solemnly, still processing the fact that he killed a teenager.

"You're done for the day, Halstead. And Erin, you too. I think Kate's downstairs with Platt." He patted Jay on the back, "I'll see you both tomorrow."

Erin placed a hand on Jay's chest, "Jay…"

"It's okay, Er," He said quickly, "Let's get Kate and head home, alright?"

* * *

"I'm going to head to bed," Erin set down the file she was reading on the coffee table and pushed herself up from the couch, "You comin'?"

The family had retreated to their apartment shortly after hearing the news that Jay killed the teenager who was a part of Intelligence's bust. Kate fell asleep on the car ride home and they both decided it would be best to gloss over the details of their day.

"I'll be there in a few," Jay glanced up from his file before turning back to it. "Night, babe."

"Are you sure you don't want to come to bed now? You look exhausted, Jay. It's been a long day and we could all use some rest." She bent down over the couch, wrapping her arms around her partner's neck.

"I'm fine, really." He turned his head, gently pressing a kiss to her lips. "You're even more beat than I am."

She unwound her arms, but paused in the doorway. "Are you sure you're okay? I mean, I know I asked you earlier but with things moving so quickly and-"

"Erin. Babe. I'm fine. I promise." Jay managed a smile. "Go get some rest. Please."

"Fine, but come to bed, okay?" Erin yawned and headed for bed.

Jay had intended to follow his partner, but his mind would not let him. Instead, he stayed up for hours, trying to take his mind off all the stress he was under. He worried about Kate, about work, about Erin, everything. Jay was awake to comfort Kate through two nightmares. He was awake for the 2am news, the 4am news and watched the sun rise. Only at five did he crawl onto his side of the bed so that Erin wouldn't know how distracted he was.

"Babe?" Erin murmured, turning her head toward her partner. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling. "What's going on? Why're you up?"

"Nothing, nothing. I'm all good. Go back to sleep." Jay reached his hand over to cup her cheek, "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Was it me? Did I wake you up?" Erin widened her eyes and then narrowed them at her partner, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"No, no, babe, just the wind. Everything's fine, promise."

"Where's Kate?"

"In bed. Go back to sleep Er, you've got two hours." He stroked her arm soothingly.

"Why isn't she in bed with us?" Erin asked, closing her eyes again. "Did you hear the monitor?"

"Yup," Jay lied. "Wasn't too bad, she didn't fully wake up. But you were really asleep."

* * *

"Daddy?" Kate asked at breakfast. "Do you gotta go to court today?"

Jay had been 'reading' the same column in the newspaper for the past ten minutes. "Daddy?" Kate asked again.

"Huh?" Jay looked up, receiving a concerned look from his partner. "What's up Squirt?"

"You're wearing your court suit. That's how come I asked if you were goin', 'cause Mommy doesn't have her blazer on." Kate looked curiously at her father, who stifled a yawn.

"Babe? Are you alright?" Erin asked, setting the spoon down in her lukewarm oatmeal. She stared at her partner worriedly, trying to communicate with him using just her eyes.

"I, um, didn't sleep well," Jay shrugged. "And yeah, kiddo, I gotta testify in this hearing, but it's going to be me and Uncle Al."

"You look like you barely slept at all," Erin commented, furrowing her brow at the sight of his red eyes.

"Does that mean you'll be done early?" Kate asked hopefully, glancing from Erin to Jay.

"I hope so," Jay paused. "It depends on if we get a case, but seeing as we just wrapped up a big one, I'm hoping Mommy and I will be done earlier. Maybe we could start the next Harry Potter book?"

"Yeah!" Kate nodded excitedly, "I like readin'."

Jay nodded, forcing a smile. "When we get home later we can start, sound good?"

"Go brush your teeth baby, we're heading out in five," Erin took a sip of her coffee and made sure her daughter had disappeared into the bathroom before giving Jay another knowing look. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"I went to bed after you fell asleep," Jay turned back to the newspaper, "I'm good, really."

"Okay, well, you've been staring at the same page for the past fifteen minutes and you're barely functioning." Erin raised her eyebrows, "Talk to me Jay."

"It's an interesting article on the upcoming ice storm," Jay jabbed a finger at the column, "And it's April."

"That's a restaurant review, babe," Erin said gently, putting her hand on his forearm. "Look, if you're still stressed and not sleeping maybe you could try talking to someone because you evidently don't want to talk to me or-"

"I told you, I'm fine," he replied, folding the newspaper swiftly.

"You're clearly not fine, Jay, with the whole running into danger thing and the fact you can barely keep your eyes open yet you stay awake all night long-"

"I already apologized for that!" Jay rubbed his palms on his face. "Jesus Christ, Erin, what is this? You've got to stop nagging me. I'm fine!"

"Saying it over and over again doesn't make it true." Erin sat back in her chair and folded her arms.

"I've gotta be downtown," Jay snapped, getting up from the table and tossing the newspaper down. He snatched his keys off the counter, "I'll see you back at the district."

"Daddy?" Kate slowly came out of the bathroom, acutely aware of the tension in their apartment, "You leavin'?"

"Bye Squirt." He placed a hurried kiss on the top of her head before exiting the apartment, the door slamming loudly behind him.

Kate looked at her mother with wide eyes. "Mommy?"

Erin cleared her throat. "Ready to go?"

"Um, yes…" Kate glanced at the door, her mother and then the mess left on the table. "What happened? Where's Daddy going?"

"He has to get to a meeting all the way downtown, baby," Erin said, busying herself tidying up the kitchen. She took a few deep breaths before turning around and forcing a smile.

* * *

 **Oooo what's goin' on with Jay? Guess you'll have to stick around to find out!**


	67. Chapter 67

**This one isn't one of my favorites but there's some interesting stuff coming up. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Mommy?"

"What's up, babes?" Erin peered in the rearview mirror as she drove along the street toward pre-school. The drive had been quiet following Jay's hurried departure from the apartment.

"How come I gotta wear these when we drive?" Kate tugged at the kiddie seatbelt that was attached to her car seat. "The odder kids at school, they don't wear the clips."

Erin cleared her throat, "Well, it depends on the size of the kid in the seat. So bigger kids, they um, can use the regular seatbelt. And littler kids, they use the smaller one, just until they grow into the big one."

"And I'm one of the littler kids?" Kate guessed, "That's how come I still gotta have these ones?" She tugged again at the clips on her seat.

"That about sums it up," Erin offered a smile in the rearview, "But I think you'll be big enough pretty soon, at the rate you're growing."

"I wanna be big and strong, like Daddy!" Kate exclaimed, "That's how come I eat my breakfast in the morning."

"Oh yeah?" Erin chuckled, "All those bananas are good for growing, huh?"

"Yes!" Kate giggled. She paused, "How come you and Daddy both aren't takin' me to school today?"

"Daddy's got a meeting downtown, remember?" Erin reminded her, "But we'll both be at the district later when Sargent Platt brings you back."

Kate nodded slowly, "Is Daddy in trouble?"

Erin was quiet for a moment, not wanting to lie to the little girl, but she certainly didn't want to tell the whole truth. "No, baby," she said finally, "He's not. He just has to answer a few questions about the case yesterday. It's all very normal, I promise. These things are just part of the job."

She appeared unconvinced, but didn't press her mother further. Instead, the little girl nodded and looked out the window at the budding trees as they passed by.

* * *

"Okay, kiddo, so your mom is down at Area Central with Atwater, but your dad is upstairs," Platt informed the little girl as she helped her take her spring coat off, "I've got a bit of paperwork to do, but how about you and I do some reading in a bit?"

Kate nodded, glancing around the lobby, "How come Goose isn't here?"

"He's at a mandatory training, I believe with Garcia. But I think he'll be back a little later," Platt sifted through a few messages on her desk, "Are you hungry, kiddo?"

"I'm okay," Kate offered a smile, "Can I go see Daddy now?"

"Yep, I'll buzz you up. I'll be down here if you need anything," Platt smiled at the little girl's eagerness to see her father.

"Can you tell me when Goose comes?" Kate asked as the buzzer sounded. She didn't even flinch at the noise, a far cry from her first time in the district when she had practically jumped out of her skin at the noise.

"Of course!" Platt said, "Go on and see your dad."

* * *

Kate clambered up the steps to the bullpen and stopped short at the top. Ruzek, Olinsky and Burgess were listening to her father's loud voice echoing from Voight's office, the door cracked open. Jay sounded incredibly angry, while the older sergeant was maintaining his composure. The veins in her father's neck bulged out and his jaw was clenched as he argued, his hands behind his head in frustration.

She jumped when her Grandpa Hank slammed his hand down on the desk, all items on the top bouncing in the air at the sheer force of the man's palm. "Hey, hey, kid," Ruzek said, noticing that the little girl was standing at the top of the steps, looking incredibly scared. Burgess stood quickly and went to approach the nervous child.

"It's okay, honey-" she started, but Kate bolted around her and raced down the hallway, intent on putting as much space as possible between herself and the two angry policemen.

"Woah, woah, kiddo, where are you going?" Platt hurried around the desk and caught the little girl as she barreled into the seasoned sergeant's legs with a sob, "What happened?"

"They yellin', they yellin'," Kate sobbed, clinging to Platt's legs with all her might, "I don't like it, I don't."

"Alright, uh, okay," Platt said, hoisting the little girl into her arms. Kate buried her face in the woman's neck, shaking like a leaf, "It's okay, kiddo. I'm sure there's an explanation for what happened."

"I don't like yellin'," Kate managed, "It makes me so scared."

"Shh, shh," Platt rocked gently back and forth and looked around the district. "Why don't we go back upstairs together and see what's going on, hm?"

"No, no, no," she cried, "Please, no, I don't wanna go."

"Alright, um," Trudy looked around for some support, but all the patrolmen and women were minding their own business. "Hey, Garcia. Watch the desk for me, will you?"

"I don't wanna go upstairs," Kate shook her head, trying to push away from the older woman, "I don't, I don't!"

"It's okay, kiddo, we're just going into this room right here," Platt brought the distraught child into the office across from her desk and settled into the chair, "We're just going to sit here until you're feeling better, okay?"

She didn't reply, but relaxed slightly, feeling safer as time wore on.

* * *

"What's going on?" Erin glanced around the bullpen after returning to the district with Atwater. "Where's Halstead?"

Ruzek looked up from his computer, "He uh, got into it with Voight. Stormed outta here about an hour ago."

"What?" She reached into her pocket for her cell phone, but there were no missed calls or texts from her partner. "Where did he say he was going?"

"He didn't," Ruzek replied, tapping on the desk with a pencil, "Voight's not in his office either. He left after Jay."

Erin raised her eyebrows in surprise before dialing Jay and receiving his voicemail. "Where's Kate?"

"With Platt. She um, saw most of the exchange, so she's…" Burgess trailed off, not wanting to be the person to tell Erin that her daughter had an absolute meltdown at the sight of her father and grandfather fighting.

"Terrified," Erin supplied, exhaling in frustration. "Great." She glanced around the bullpen, "I'm going to find her and-"

"Go home, kid," Olinksy instructed, appearing seemingly out of nowhere, "Your family needs you."

Erin managed a slight smile. "Thanks, Al."

* * *

"Where's Daddy?" Kate mumbled sleepily, her head resting on Erin's shoulder as they rode the elevator up to the third floor. She had been extraordinarily relieved to see her mother, but Erin could tell that watching Hank and Jay argue frightened her baby to her very core.

"Not sure, babes," Erin replied honestly, too exhausted to come up with a better answer. "I'm sure he'll be home soon though."

"He was fightin' real bad with Grandpa Hank," she whispered, instinctively tightening her grip around her mother. "He was _yellin'._ "

"I know," the detective managed lamely, "But I'm sure everything is fine now. Sometimes Daddy and Hank, uh, don't always see eye-to-eye."

Kate was quiet as the elevator dinged and Erin trudged down the hall toward their apartment. She unlocked the door, pushed it open and immediately froze, recognizing that something wasn't right. "Mommy?" Kate asked, acutely aware of her mother's ridged composure.

"Shh, baby, stand behind me," Erin instructed in a whisper, dropping the little girl to the floor and reaching for her piece in one motion. "Chicago Police. Who's there?" She called out, one hand drawing the gun, the other on her child's shoulder as she held tightly to her mother's jeans.

"Erin, baby!" Bunny emerged from the kitchen, holding a tumbler of amber liquid in her hand.

"Mom?" Erin lowered her weapon but kept her hand on Kate's shoulder. "What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

"Your super let me in," Bunny rolled her eyes, "What, no hello for your mother?"

"You broke into my apartment," Erin hissed, "What do you want?"

"I wanted to see you, of course," Bunny took a long swig of the liquor, "I worry about you, sweetheart. All those long hours, and you're around _Hank Voight_ all day." She said the sergeant's name like it was a dirty word, "Can't a mother stop by to see her daughter?"

"Not after what you did," Erin gritted out, feeling her little girl shake violently behind her. She narrowed her eyes, "What are you on?"

"Oh, c'mon, baby," Bunny set the glass down, "I'm fine."

"You're _stoned,_ " Erin growled, "And drunk. This is not what I need right now."

"Pfpt," she replied, picking the tumbler back up and knocking back the contents, "I don't need you telling me off."

"Get out," Erin demanded, holstering her gun and pointing the door, "Leave, Bunny."

"I didn't even notice your little girl!" Bunny offered a wide smile to Kate, who shrank further behind Erin's legs, "Hi honey. I'm your Grandma Bunny."

"Leave," Erin insisted, taking the tumbler out of her mother's hands.

"Oh, Erin, you don't mean that. I'm your mother. I know you better than anyone."

"You don't," she replied, "Leave."

"Fine," Bunny turned, her gaze turning menacing, "Watch out for that little girl though. If she's around you for too long, who knows what trouble she'll get into."

"Get out," Erin spat, slamming the door behind her. She leaned against the closed door, breathing heavily and trying not to cry. How her mother knew just how to poke her buttons never ceased to amaze her.

"Mommy?" Kate took a step toward her mother nervously. Quickly, Erin wiped her eye and forced a smile.

"Hi baby. I'm so sorry about that. Can you go get your pajamas on?" She exhaled, trying to stop her heart from racing.

"Are you…okay?" Kate cautiously took another step, but her mother turned for the kitchen.

"Yep, don't worry, okay? How about after you put your pajamas on, we watch a movie?"

Kate did as she was told, leaving her mother standing in the kitchen. Erin slipped her black boots off and wiped another tear away, determined not to break down. She pulled out some cereal from the cupboard and started her dinner despite not being hungry at all.

Erin was lost in thought when Kate reemerged from her bedroom. "Mommy? Do you want to change? For the movie?" Kate asked, noting that her mother was still clad in her clothes from earlier.

"What?" Erin looked up to see her daughter's concerned expression. "Oh, yes. Give me a few minutes. Can you get it set up?"

Kate nodded, clearly aware of how upset her mother was. She waited patiently for her mother to come out of her bedroom, but ten minutes later she was still waiting. "Mommy?" Kate called, slowly entering her parent's bedroom. "Are you ready?"

She heard sniffling noises, so Kate pushed open the bedroom door. She saw her mother sitting on the bed, repeatedly wiping her eyes. "Mommy?"

Erin sniffed and wiped her eyes again. "Oh, baby. I'm sorry, you can go start the movie, I'll be there in a bit."

Kate moved closer to her mother and crawled on the bed beside her. "I-I'm worried 'bout you. And I know you say I shouldn't worry about you since you're the mommy but something's wrong and I know it."

Erin took a deep breath and hugged her daughter close. "I'm sorry sweetheart. My mom, she just – she really knows how to make me sad."

Kate listened quietly, gently rubbing her mother's arm. "Are you comforting me?" Erin let out a laugh through her tears. "You really are incredible, you know that?"

"We could make you some tea." Kate offered, giving her mother another hug. "That always makes you feel better."

Erin smiled. "That sounds like a good idea." She paused, "Have you had dinner yet?"

The little girl shook her head. "Oh baby, I'm so sorry," Erin scooped her up and headed for the kitchen, "I didn't realize how late it was. You must be so hungry."

Kate shrugged. "I'm okay, Mommy." She glanced over to the apartment door. "Do you think…Daddy's coming home tonight?"

"I hope so," Erin sighed, pouring some cereal into a bowl for her little girl. "He has a lot of explaining to do." She mumbled under her breath, pressing a kiss onto Kate's forehead.

"Is he okay?" Kate traced Erin's palm with her small fingers. "I haven't seen him since he was yellin'."

"Hm," Erin mused, thinking back to the last time she saw her partner. "He only texted me before lunch…" She trailed off, abruptly rising from the table and heading for her cell phone.

"What-what are you doing?" Kate looked worriedly at her mother.

"Calling Ruzek," Erin replied. "Adam. When did you last see Jay? Because I haven't seen him in maybe twelve hours and now I'm getting worried." She hung up quickly before dialing another number. "Mouse." Quickly, Erin headed for the bedroom. "I'll be right back, baby, sit tight." She offered a forced smile before shutting the bedroom door.

Kate sat anxiously in the kitchen, slowly trying to eat her cereal. She could barely taste anything, unable to take her mind of her absent father and her concerned mother. Another few minutes passed as Erin's uneasy tone occasionally was heard from the bedroom.

* * *

Suddenly, the deadbolt was turned and Jay stumbled into the apartment. "Daddy?" Kate called quietly, jumping from her chair and running to where her father stood.

"Hey kiddo," he slurred. Kate stopped short just in front of her father. He offered a crooked smile and held his arms out. "How's my girl?"

After catching a whiff of him, Kate shrank and took a step back down the hallway. "I'm okay." She whispered, taking another step back.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Jay chuckled drunkenly. "I could use a hug. It's been a rough one."

"Where have you been?" Erin emerged from the bedroom, Kate backing into her legs. She sniffed the air, "Are you drunk?"

"Just a little," Jay ran his hands through his hair. "I needed to blow off some steam."

"Sure. And dinner," Erin spat, placing a hand on Kate's shoulder as the little girl stood behind her legs. Jay's face fell, realizing how late it was and that his girls were waiting for him.

"Oh, God, Er, I'm so sorry-"

"Save it." She took a step back as Jay reached out. Kate continued to tremble behind her, burying her face in Erin's leg as she had done earlier. "I think you should leave."

"What!" Jay exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, "Why? Because I missed dinner?"

"Fine." Erin was not in the mood to argue. "We'll leave." She hoisted Kate up into her arms and pushed around her partner.

"You're taking my daughter away from me?" Jay was beside himself. "You can't do that!"

"You're in no state to take care of a child right now. And I'm not leaving her with you." She attempted to put Kate down, but the little girl held tight. "I just need you to put your shoes on, baby," Erin insisted. She set Kate down, pulled on a pair of shoes and handed the little girl a coat. "We'll be back later, when you're sober. Right now, we need to leave."

"Kate!" Jay called out, moving toward his girls, "Erin, wait!"

Kate burst into tears, frightened sobs echoing around the apartment. Erin quickly scooped her up, trying to soothe the little girl. "He smells like the mean men!" Kate wailed, wrapping her arms tightly around her mother, "Daddy smells like the mean men!"

Erin shot Jay an angry, disappointed and disapproving look before grabbing her keys and purse and heading out the door.

* * *

 **ALSO been thinking about posting this on tumblr for a wider crowd but don't have an account/any idea how it works - if you have any advice, let me know.**


	68. Chapter 68

**Hi! Sorry it's been a bit. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _"Erin!" He shouted, his world suddenly moving in slow motion as his partner collided with a pedestrian on a bike. Jay registered her insistence that he move forward and was immediately impressed and thankful that the season NYPD sergeant could handle the prep so effortlessly. He turned back to Lindsay, expecting to see her back on her feet like normal. Instead, crimson blood stained her palm as she removed it from the back of her head._

 _It was as if time stopped – Jay caught her in his arms and gently lowered his partner to the ground, feeling like he had taken a knife to the gut. She whimpered in protest as Olivia Benson ordered an ambulance. "We gotta get you checked out, Erin," Jay insisted, gripping her cold hands tightly in his, "You need to stay awake, you hear me?"_

 _She attempted to grunt, but it came out as a pained hiss, the back of her head throbbing. "We got you," Jay assured her, glancing up at Benson for support, "Stay with me, Er."_

 _Erin's lips quirked upward as her nickname came off her partner's lips. "You got 'm?"_

 _"Yep, we got him," he confirmed, giving her hands a squeeze as the ambulance arrived, sirens blaring. She grimaced at the noise, another whimper escaping before she could stop it._

 _"Halstead, go with her," Benson instructed, "I'll call your sergeant."_

 _"He'll just worry," Erin protested weakly, "I don't want him to worry." Her eyes fluttered._

 _"Erin!" Jay gently stroked her cheek, the busy New York street around them fading into the background as he focused on his partner, "You need to stay awake, you hear me?"_

 _"Mm," she replied, reaching a shaking hand out to grasp Jay's coat, "C-can you…?" She didn't finish her sentence, but he knew what she was asking._

 _"Of course, I'm riding with you," he said, climbing into the back of the ambulance beside her, "Hang tight, okay?"_

* * *

Kate was weeping silently as her mother hastily buckled her up and jumped in the Sierra, intent on putting as much space as possible between her frightened little girl and her partner. She was absolutely _livid_ at Jay, frustrated with his actions beyond belief, but underneath it all, she was worried. Her Jay, the Jay that she'd known for years, the Jay who always had her back, always had her family's best interests at heart, would have never wanted to scare his little girl the way he did.

"W-where we goin'?" Kate sniffed, a tiny hiccup punctuating her question. Erin pulled to a stop in front of the red light. She hadn't fully thought it through. On one hand, a trip to Hank's would mean the inevitable questions and her partner's most certain ass-kicking, but a trip to Will's or anywhere else wouldn't bear the same security as her childhood home. While her mother mulled over their options before opening her mouth to speak, Kate piped up, "Do we gotta tell Grandpa Hank 'bout Daddy?"

Erin furrowed her brow and glanced in the rear view mirror, her gaze softening when she caught her little girl's teary reflection. "No, baby," Erin exhaled, making a right to continue on the way to her sergeant's house, "We don't need to tell him, if that's okay with you."

Kate shook her head, "I don't wanna tell him," she rushed out, "I-I don't want him to get mad at Daddy, no matter what." She paused, "I don't want no more yellin'."

Erin nodded and took a left into Hank's neighborhood, exhaling again. Her almost father's house had always been a safehaven, and as much as she didn't want to be seeking his comfort in the wee hours of the morning, she was grateful to have it as an option.

She pulled in behind the Escalade in front of Hank's house and helped Kate out of her carseat. The little girl was still shaking slightly and wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's neck, intent on ensuring there was as little space as possible between the two of them. "It's alright, baby," Erin whispered, locking the car and trudging up the steps, "We're okay."

Kate buried her face in the crook of Erin's neck as she knocked forcefully on the back door. The house was dark when they pulled up, but Erin hoped that Hank would wake up. She didn't want to use her key for the same reason she didn't use it years back after quitting the federal task force – she didn't want to scare him. The man slept with a shotgun beside his bed, for crying out loud.

"Hank, it's me," Erin called out when she heard footsteps approaching, "Can you open the door please?"

Hank swung open the back door to reveal his almost daughter and her little girl, both appearing absolutely exhausted. "You've got a key for a reason, kid," Hank said gruffly, setting the shotgun beside the door when he realized his granddaughter was in Erin's arms, "Everything okay?"

"Locked out," Erin replied quickly, stepping into the house she had truly grown up in. Kate was clamped to her side and refused to lift her head off her mother's shoulder, "I know you've got a spare to our place but can we just crash here tonight?"

Hank frowned but nodded. "Where's Halstead?"

Erin shook her head and swallowed thickly, "Couldn't reach him. I just didn't want us to sleep in the hallway while we were waiting."

Her father figure remained skeptical, though he gestured upstairs, "Your room is always here for when you need it."

"Thanks," Erin managed, hastening toward the steps to avoid looking in her sergeant's eyes. She didn't want him to see her cry.

* * *

The lamp that Camille had picked out for her illuminated the faded posters on the wall as Erin entered her old bedroom. "We're going to go to bed now, sweetheart," she whispered, running a hand over Kate's head, "Can I put you down?"

Kate let out a soft whimper and tightened her grip around her mother's neck, "I don't wanna sleep."

"I know, baby, but you and I are just going to snuggle in bed for a bit." Erin eased onto the bed, Kate still in her arms. "Are you alright?" she asked, stroking the little girl's hair as she continued to press her face into her mother's neck.

Kate managed a nod and reluctantly pulled back from her fierce grip, gazing up at her mother with vulnerable eyes. "W-what's wrong with Daddy?"

She sighed. "I don't know, babes. Daddy and I have a lot of things we need to talk about-"

"Don't leave me," Kate interrupted desperately, tears welling up behind her eyes. "Please, please don't leave me."

"Oh, my love." Erin held tighter to her little girl. "Don't you worry, I'm not going to leave you."

"Daddy scares me now," Kate sniffed against her mother's top. "Daddy smelled like the mean men and he-he was actin' like them and he's makin' me scared." She burst into tears, sobs wracking her tiny body. "Please promise Mommy, please."

"I promise," Erin murmured, pressing a kiss atop Kate's head. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Erin lay awake all night, holding Kate closely in her arms. Thankfully, the little girl slept, albeit fitfully, allowing Erin some much needed time to think. In all the years she'd known her partner, he had only gotten blindly drunk a handful of times. While Jay was a no-nonsense detective, he was always gentle with her - sometimes _too_ gentle, she would argue. Jay was typically kind and understanding, a far cry from the person she had been subject to since the shootout.

 _Her shoulders were slumped in her grey t shirt, her hair almost escaping her loosely done pony tail. Jay could tell from twenty feet away that something wasn't right. He approached her slowly, whispering a soft "hey" and putting a hand on her shoulder._

 _She jumped and quickly wiped her eyes. Jay could tell that she had been crying for quite some time, as her eyes were red and her cheeks were glistening with dried tears. "Oh!" she choked out, inching away from him. "What are you doing here?"_

 _"Looking for you. I thought you were bringing Kate home, but it's nearly midnight."_

 _"Is it really that late?" Erin checked her phone. "Oh gosh," she sniffed, "Kate needs to take her medicine and she's probably passed out." Hurriedly, she made her way to the stairs._

 _Jay caught her by the elbow. "Hey, hey," he said softly, looking into her glassy eyes. "What's going on?"_

 _"It's nothing." Erin took her arm back and again headed for the exit. "Really."_

 _Again, Jay was too quick for her. He stopped her in her tracks before the steps. "Erin," he said gently. The young woman looked away, clearly trying to suppress tears. "I'm your partner. You can tell me anything."_

 _"It…it doesn't involve you," she rushed out, peering over his shoulder as if planning her escape._

 _Gently, Jay lifted his hand up to her warm cheek. "Er, if you're crying, I should to be involved."_

 _Erin blinked rapidly. "Jay, please. Can we not do this here?" She shot him a look of desperation._

 _He dropped his hand. "Not here," he nodded. "Kate's already taken her medicine and she's asleep."_

 _She nodded, folding her arms across her chest and taking a step down the stairs. "Can I meet you at home? I need to take care of some things before I go."_

 _The concern in Jay's eyes was almost too much to bear. "Er…" he trailed off as she took another step. "You're worrying me."_

 _"I told you, let's not do this here," Erin said firmly, taking another step, clearly trying to avoid her partner's gentle gaze, "I'll see you at home. I won't be long."_

 _Jay sighed, but headed back to break room where he picked up his little girl and headed for the car. The drive home was silent, Kate very much asleep._

* * *

 _Jay sat up on the couch, waiting for his partner to return. Erin had texted to let him know she was on her way, but it didn't stop him from worrying. They worked hard as a couple to break down the walls they had erected around themselves, each chipping away at the others in an attempt to further their relationship. He knew how much she had gone through growing up, both from what she had disclosed and what he had been able to piece together._

 _Snow was falling gently on the frigid Chicago streets as Erin stood in front of an empty playground, her arms folded tightly across her chest. The wind was whipping harshly and her eyelashes were practically frozen from tears as she reminisced to back when she had first moved in with the Voight's, when Camille had asked her to pick up Justin from the playground and bring him home for dinner._

 _The carefree little boy joyously raced around the park with his friends, each holding a stick as a sword as they pretended to be valiant knights defending the castle. He had begged for five more minutes and she couldn't bear to pull him away, so she sat on the swings, overcome with how endearing her new brother could be. His innocence tugged at her heart strings, because when she was his age, she was far too familiar with how cruel the world could be._

 _Years later, that innocent, sweet boy had a child of his own, but was ripped away from the life he was building far too soon. Her heart burned as she thought back to growing up with Justin, how he begrudgingly accepted her into his life. When she couldn't take the cold any more, Erin climbed into her car and drove home, entirely lost in thought._

 _Erin's bones ached from the negative degree weather, February in Chicago in full force. She shivered as she stepped off the elevator and wiped her eyes, intent on kissing her sweet baby girl good night. She was hoping that the long day had caught up to her partner and that she could just fall in bed beside him. Instead, Jay was sitting up on the couch, thumbing through the late night channels in a pair of sweats and just a zip up covering his bare chest. He turned when he heard the key unlock the door and widened his eyes when his exhausted partner shuffled into their apartment._

 _"Hey," he stood, unsure of exactly what his girlfriend needed in the moment, "You're back."_

 _She managed a nod, still standing in her heavy coat and boots. "You alright?" Jay asked, crossing carefully over to where Erin stood. He furrowed his brow when she didn't make a verbal reply. "Babe, you're_ frozen. _How long were you outside?"_

 _Erin shrugged and cleared her throat, fumbling with the zipper on her coat, "I'm o-okay."_

 _"You're a human popsicle," Jay replied gently, reaching out to help with the zipper, "I'm getting goosebumps just looking at you."_

 _She sniffed in response, a shiver coursing through her entire body when Jay took off her coat. "I was at a park."_

 _He nodded in response, squatting down to untie her boots. "Let's get you warmed up. Do you want to hop in the shower while I make something hot to drink?"_

 _Erin remained in the entry way, her partner's kind offer barely registering. "Babe?" Jay asked, standing up and cupping her cold cheek with his warm palm, "You're freezing, Er."_

 _"It's Justin's birthday," she blurted out, practically choking on her own words, "It was. And-and I almost_ forgot. _"_

 _He was quiet for a moment, realizing Hank's late son's birthday was the reason his boss had been more irritable than usual. Hank and Erin had barely spoken either, both feeling too vulnerable to say anything. "I know you miss him," Jay said finally, taking one of her frozen hands in his, "Today couldn't have been easy."_

 _"I didn't remember til tonight," Erin whispered, "It was so busy and he was my_ brother. _" A tear escaped her red-rimmed eyes, "And I just can't believe he's gone."_

 _Jay reached out and she melted into his embrace, body trembling as his warmth penetrated her bones. "I know," he murmured, holding her close, "I know."_

 _Erin began shivering more aggressively as they stood in their hall, the warmer apartment air and her partner's arms finally bringing some feeling back to her frozen fingers and toes. "How about some tea or something?" Jay offered, tracing a small circle on her shoulder with his finger, "Or a hot bath?"_

 _"I like where I am now," Erin mumbled against his shoulder. He chuckled softly._

 _"I like it too, but I think my body can only provide so much heat. Don't want you catching a cold or something, babe."_

 _"Mm," she replied, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Shower with me?"_

 _He raised his eyebrows, "Why? 'cause your fingers are too cold to turn the dial?"_

 _"Uh-huh," Erin breathed, stumbling forward as she ushered her partner to their bedroom._

Jay was always so tender with her, but especially gentle with their little girl. He was acutely aware of just how much trauma she had been through and where her intense distrust of men came from. Since the beginning of their family's time together, Jay was always cautious when interacting with Kate. When he had taken off after Jackson and returned home wasted, despite the situation, Erin had been grateful that Kate hadn't been awake.

Now, after Kate had witnessed her father stumble into their apartment, reeking of whiskey and beer, Erin wasn't sure if they'd ever get back to the relationship they had previously. In all the books she'd made a point to read about foster care, adoption and childhood trauma, there wasn't a chapter on how to backtrack after you'd seriously messed up.

Her little girl slept fitfully, whimpers escaping her lips every so often. Erin could have sworn she heard a soft, "Come back, Daddy," as she tried to doze off, resulting in a stream of silent tears as she held her baby as close as she could.

* * *

At eight, Kate awoke with a soft groan. "Mommy, my tummy," she moaned, gripping her abdomen, "I'm hurtin' again."

Erin turned to her daughter and stroked her hair back, "I know sweetheart. We have to go home to get your medicine and a change of clothes." She grimaced as she thought about how she was going to play this. Kate's stomach usually started to hurt after a long bout of anxiety. Doctor Manning had prescribed some medication that could be used to offset the pain until Kate had calmed down which usually helped.

Kate's eyes widened. "I don't wanna go home."

Erin's eyes filled with tears at her baby's honesty. "I know, I know. But we have to get your medicine and…"

"Daddy scared me," Kate interrupted, scooting closer to her mother. "He made me scared and reminds me of the mean men."

"I know," Erin repeated lamely, "but we have to get your medicine from the apartment. And I heard Hank leave earlier this morning but maybe when he comes back you could stay-"

"I-I-I wanna be with you," Kate rushed out, "I want you." Tears trickled down her cheeks, "Please Mommy."

She kissed the top of her little girl's soft head, "I'm not leaving you, babes, I promise. We can go back home together, but you can even wait in the hallway if that would make you feel better." She looked down at her baby, who appeared so distraught. Erin swallowed the lump in her throat, "I'm sorry about this my love, but it will make you feel better. And no matter what happens, Daddy still loves you."

* * *

 **Couldn't resist a few flashbacks in this one!**


	69. Chapter 69

**Hi, hello! I am still here! I have not watched PD in over a year at this point, buuuut I am still working to wrap up this story. Appreciate your patience and reviews :)**

* * *

Kate begrudgingly agreed to Erin's plan and was settled in the hallway of their building as her mother entered the apartment. The ride over had been completely silent, Kate's anxiety radiating off her tiny body. "I'll be right out baby, okay?" Erin knelt in front of her little girl. Kate was pressed up against the wall, eyes wide with skepticism.

"You comin' back?" Kate confirmed, glancing nervously to the door.

"I am," Erin promised. She paused, "Daddy's alright, baby, I just know it."

Kate was quiet for a moment, "I-I know. I love daddy. B-but he maked me scared." She cast her eyes down toward the hall carpet, "I didn't like it."

"Me too," Erin replied, kissing her forehead gently, "I'm going to grab some stuff and talk to daddy for a bit. Everything's going to be alright."

"Er?" Jay jumped up as he heard the lock turning in the door. His haggard partner entered and glared at him.

"Have you sobered up?" She asked curtly, headed for the kitchen to fetch Kate's medicine.

"Yes, and I am so incredibly sorry about last night," Jay started, "If you'll just let me explain-"

"Explain it to your little girl," Erin snapped, slamming the cupboard door closed. "Explain _your_ actions to our extremely observant and intelligent child and tell her how her father could get drunk enough to remind her of the scum that used to abuse her." She headed to her bedroom and began taking clothing out of drawers, angrily stuffing them in a tote bag, "Not to mention the fight you got into with Hank that Kate saw. Honestly, Jay, I know you think I side with him all the time but I _don't_ and you didn't even clue me in as to why you were pissed in the first place."

Erin aggressively shoved the drawer closed, "Kate spent the afternoon cowering in Platt's arms and you just stormed off and didn't even think to let me know what had happened!" She paused, trying to keep her tears at bay, "You know what she said last night? _Daddy smells like the mean men_." A tear trickled down her cheek but she quickly brushed it away.

Jay swallowed thickly, following his partner into the bedroom "I know that my actions yesterday were unforgivable, especially to Kate. But please, let me explain."

"I don't know, Jay. Are you going to tell me the truth? Or are you going to give me some crap about 'blowing off steam'? Are you going to chalk it up to a rough day? Tell me, how many rough days should I be expecting, as your partner?" Erin tossed a few more articles of clothing haphazardly into a bag before storming into Kate's bedroom, trying to resist the urge to burst into tears out of sheer frustration.

"Er, I-"

"A little heads up about going missing for hours at a time and getting drunk off your ass would be much appreciated, so I can protect our child from being scarred for life!" Erin frantically shoved some of Kate's clothes into the suitcase and slammed the drawers shut, turning around to face her partner.

"Do you know that she didn't even want to come home this morning?" Erin spat as Jay opened his mouth to reply, "She is so afraid of you now she didn't want to see you. Your child is waiting in the hallway because you remind her of the men who used to abuse her!" Tears streamed down Erin's face and she tried to maintain her composure. "What I am supposed to tell our daughter, who last night begged me to not leave her? How am I supposed to explain that the man we both love is becoming…" She trailed off, turning on her heels and headed for the apartment door. "I just…"

"Erin!" Jay called after her, tears in his eyes, "Wait, _please_."

"What?" Erin shouted, whirling around to face him. "What haven't you been telling me?"

"It's my dad," Jay choked out, running a hand across his face, "It's my dad."

"What about him?" Erin asked tersely, still seething.

"He's in the hospital. Liver failure. I found out yesterday." Erin's expression softened as she heard the news. Jay took a breath as Erin set the suitcase down on the ground beside her, folding her arms across her chest but now listening intently.

"He's dying, Erin. And I, I just couldn't…" Jay inhaled shakily, "And last night, I had to be with him and Will and then he just- he just reminded me why I don't see him." He was barely holding it together as he tried to finish the story, "And Will and I, ugh, we left and did what _he_ used to do and-" Jay didn't finish his sentence before his partner wrapped his arms around his waist, reaching her hands up to stroke his back. He breathed in her sweet scent and allowed the tears to fall slowly down his cheeks as she held him close. "And I'm sorry," he whispered tearfully, "I am so, so sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Erin pulled back, gazing up into her partner's wet eyes, "Why did you try to take it all on your own? I would have understood."

"I didn't want to burden you," he replied honestly, "With everything that's been going on, with work, with Kate, I-I didn't want to add to it."

"You listen to me, Jay," Erin put her hands on his shoulders. "You're my partner. What's mine is yours. You don't need to protect me from the bad stuff, okay? We're a team."

He nodded and sniffed, "I'm so sorry, babe."

Erin wiped her eyes. "We're going to talk about this. But right now, I-I have to get Kate from the hall. She's still quite shaken up and…"

"That's my fault." Jay ran his hands through his hair and across his face. "I guess I should go get her and apologize."

"I don't think that's a good idea." Erin placed a hand on his chest. "You stay on the couch, I'll bring her in. We have to do this carefully." Jay wanted to protest, but realized that Erin was right. He nodded in agreement and retreated to the couch, watching his partner leave.

* * *

Erin pulled open the door and stood beside her daughter, reaching into gently stroke her cheek. The little girl was in apparent discomfort, clutching her stomach and wearing a grimace. "Mommy?" She looked up at her mother expectantly, taking note of her red-rimmed eyes and shaky breath, "My tummy hurts."

"I know, baby. And I know you're scared, but I just saw Daddy and he's okay," Erin breathed, stroking her child's cheek gently. "I know he wasn't himself last night, but we have to go inside to get your medicine and pick up a few things, okay? I promise, everything's alright now."

She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes, "C-can't you bring it here?"

Erin sighed softly. "Do you remember when Daddy told you about his dad?"

Kate nodded slowly. "Well, Daddy found out that his dad is very sick, which is why he's been so funky. And I just had a good chat with him, and he's assured me that what happened last night will never happen again." Erin paused, "He's inside, but you don't have to talk to him if you're not ready. I just want you to come take your medicine, okay?"

Kate nodded again, allowing her mother to lift her off the ground and carry her into the apartment. "Don't go," Kate whispered into her mother's shoulder, "Please, don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby, I promise." Erin pressed a kiss atop her child's head before opening the apartment door.

* * *

Jay was sitting on the couch, expectantly staring at the door. He offered a soft smile but understood Erin's pointed stare to mean 'stay seated'. "Daddy's alright now, see?" Erin cooed, attempting to set Kate down on the kitchen counter. The little girl remained clamped to her mother's neck, trembling slightly. "Jay, will you grab the medicine for me?"

He nodded, slowly rising from the couch and approaching his family. "Hey Squirt," he said quietly, observing her avoidance of his eye contact and hold to Erin. She tensed up as he stepped closer, shattering his heart. After placing the medicine down on the counter, he sat back down on the couch patiently, overwhelmed by how frightened his little girl was. Erin shot him a sympathetic look as she stroked Kate's hair, trying to convey as much security as possible.

"What if we sat on the couch for a bit, hm babes?" Erin suggested, glancing up at her partner, "Would that be okay with you?"

Kate looked over to her father, then back to her mother. "You…you gonna sit with me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Absolutely. We'll all sit on the couch, is that okay with you?" After Kate gave a timid nod of consent, Erin settled down on the couch with her child in her arms, leaning as far away from Jay as she could without letting go of her mother. "Babe? Do you want to explain to Kate what happened?"

Jay took a deep breath, acutely aware of how his daughter was shaking against his partner. "Kate, you know that I would never do anything to hurt you, or do anything to make you scared on purpose, right?"

His breath hitched when she didn't nod or acknowledge Jay's statement. The little girl continued to cling to Erin, but was still listening. He swallowed and continued, "Um, well, the other day, I, uh, found out that my dad is very sick, and I didn't know how to talk about it with Mommy. And when I went to see him with Uncle Will, he, um, said some things he said made me very angry. Uncle Will and I, we left and that's why when I came home last night, I wasn't myself." He paused, noting that Kate had slightly relaxed in Erin's arms.

"I am so sorry for scaring you last night, and I promise that it will never happen again." He exhaled and smiled sadly at Erin, who had given his knee a reassuring squeeze. Kate turned her head and looked up at her father quizzically, still processing the information that had been relayed to her.

"H-how come you were yellin' at Grandpa Hank?" Kate whispered after a moment, "Why was he so mad?"

"He was the one who told me about my dad," Jay said softly, "And I owe him an apology, because he was just trying to help."

"I'm glad you're okay," she murmured, still holding tightly to her mother. Kate looked up at him again. "But h-how come you smelled like the bad men?"

Erin and Jay exchanged glances. "I, um," Jay started. He cleared his throat, "I, uh, didn't make a good choice last night," he said finally, trying to figure out a way to explain his indiscretions to an incredibly perceptive little girl.

"Daddy wasn't bad," Erin jumped in, "He just had a little too much, and that's why he didn't smell so good."

Kate nodded slowly and looked down at her hands. "I-I didn't mean to be scared of you," she murmured, "I-I'm s-sorry."

"Oh, kiddo, you have nothing to apologize for," Jay said quickly, "I know that it brought back some bad memories for you, and I promise, I won't do it again. I'm the one who is sorry."

Erin stroked Kate's hair gently, "I know what you mean, baby," she said soothingly, "It can be scary when someone you love reminds you of something that happened in the past. But Daddy's the best man I know and he would never do anything to hurt us."

"I know," Kate replied, looking up from her hands. Jay breathed a sigh of relief.

"I want you to know how sorry I am for what happened. Both of you." He kissed the side of Erin's head, and Kate allowed the two of them to be enveloped in a hug. Tentatively, Kate snuggled closer to her father.

* * *

 _"Jay Halstead, what happened to you?" His mother reached her hands out and grabbed the sides of his face, examining the bruise forming around his left eye, "Who did this?"_

 _"It was nothing." Thirteen year old Jay backed up from his mother's grasp, "I'm fine."_

 _"You most certainly are not." She reached into the freezer and pulled out a bag of peas, "Put this on your face, right now."_

 _"Ugh." Jay accepted the bag, "Happy now?"_

 _"No, not really." She folded her arms across her chest, "What happened?"_

 _"Some kid at school," Jay shrugged, "I told you, I'm fine."_

 _"Lose another fight, son?" Pat Halstead asked gruffly, making his way into the kitchen. He placed a chaste kiss on his wife's cheek before reaching into the freezer for a few ice cubes. He dropped them into the tumbler of brown liquid and took a sip. "Tell me at least you fought back."_

 _Jay was silent. He tossed the peas on the kitchen counter and headed for the door, intent on not listening to another lecture from his father about his shortcomings._

 _"Jay, honey!" His mother called after him, but she was met with a closed door._

* * *

"You alright, babe?" Erin reached up and stroked his cheek.

"Mm," he replied, "Glad she's okay. And that you're okay."

Erin nodded, "Jay, I…I think you need to go to see your dad." She focused her gaze on the little girl who was asleep between them, "It may be good just to see him and…"

"I know. And I think I have to go too." Jay sighed, wrapping his arm around his partner's shoulders. "I know I should _want_ to, but I just don't." He paused, gazing at Kate's sleeping form. "I'm afraid that if I go, they'll ask me to donate part of my liver."

"Babe," Erin whispered, entwining his hand in hers. "He's your dad."

"Who is an alcoholic! He did this to himself," Jay huffed. "And he was never a good dad, he didn't give a crap about me really and…" He swallowed, allowing Erin's gentle touches to ground him, "But I have to go."

"I know you do." Erin gently rubbed his arm. "I know you do."

"But leaving you two now, that's just…"

"It's your family, babe," Erin interrupted, "We'll figure it out. But if you don't go, you'll regret it."

He nodded. "What about Kate?"

"She's going to be just fine. The medicine has clearly worked, she's doing a lot better."

Jay nodded again and gently caressed Erin's cheek. "But what about you?"

"What about me?" She looked up at him. "I have Kate. I've been okay for some time now. Right now, it's you who needs to take care of yourself by taking care of your family."

* * *

"Daddy's leaving?" Kate asked the next morning as Jay getting ready to leave. "But we just got him back!"

"I know sweetheart, but Daddy needs to go see Uncle Will and his dad." Erin balanced Kate on her hip as she watched her partner pack.

"What if he doesn't come back?" The realization dawned on her, resulting in tears. "What if Daddy doesn't come back?"

"I'm coming back Squirt, I promise you that." Jay paused and reached his arms out, accepting the child from Erin. "But I've got to help my dad now and as soon as everything's squared away, I'll be right back."

Kate sniffed and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. "I don't wanna lose you Daddy."

"Never again," Jay promised, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be back before you know it."

* * *

 **Not my fav chapter but we're getting to some good stuff...and some really happy stuff (hint). Thanks for stickin' with me!**


	70. Chapter 70

**Hi, sorry again for the delay. Let me know what you think.**

* * *

 _Kate stared at the large chair skeptically, holding fast to Jay's jeans. "I-I don't wanna," she whispered, her voice muffled by the fabric, "It don't look safe."_

 _"It's safe, kiddo, I promise," Jay rested his palm atop the little girl's head. He glanced over at his partner, "Maybe it would be better if I went first, hm?"_

 _Kate shook her head rapidly, "I-I don't want you to get hurt e-der."_

 _"I know, baby, but it's really okay. We wouldn't lie to you." Erin squatted down to meet the child's eye, "It actually feels really good. I think I'll get my hair cut too." She glanced up at Jay, "Just a trim."_

 _"They gonna put scissors by your head," Kate murmured, looking around the salon anxiously, "T-they could_ cut _you."_

 _"These people are really good. It's their job," Erin explained, "See? Everyone is okay. And after, your hair feels nice and soft."_

 _"I promise, nobody is going to cut you." A nice young woman approached the family and smiled kindly at Jay and Erin, "Hi honey, my name is Maria, and I'm very good at my job. And I won't hurt you, or your folks, okay?"_

 _Kate remained skeptical, her grip on Jay's jeans growing tighter. She was silent as she regarded the woman in front of them. "Can you do a trim for me?" Erin piped up, settling herself in the chair. She had been growing her hair longer, but a quick trim wouldn't hurt._

 _"Of course," Maria smiled, reaching into the drawer and pulling out a black cape and draping it over Erin's shoulders. Kate cowered behind Jay at the sight of it. "This is just to make sure your mom's hair doesn't get all over her clothes," the woman explained, "Perfectly safe."_

 _The little girl widened her eyes slightly. It was only her first month with Jay and Erin, but she didn't realize that Erin was her_ mom. _Erin glanced nervously to her partner. When he caught her gaze, Jay offered a gentle smile and she relaxed slightly, grateful that he was thinking the same thing – of course she was Kate's mom. "See, Squirt?" Jay put a hand on Kate's shoulder and gestured to Erin as Maria dampened her hair with a spray bottle, "All good."_

 _Kate remained behind her father's legs while the woman trimmed the ends of Erin's hair. "Feels good," Erin commented, offering a smile to the little girl who was staring at her reflection in the mirror, "Do you want to try, baby?"_

 _"You and Jay gonna stay?" Kate whispered, tiny hands still grasping Jay's jeans._

 _"Of course," Jay placed a hand atop Kate's head, "Would it help if Erin or I held your hand?"_

 _She nodded after a moment, "You and Erin both?"_

 _Jay grinned at Erin's reflection, grateful that the child was willing to entertain a haircut but wanted_ both _of them to hold her hand. "Absolutely!" he replied, "We'll be with you the whole time."_

* * *

Erin held Kate's hand in hers as they made their way through the hallway of Chicago Med. "We seeing Daddy's daddy?" Kate whispered, looking up at Erin expectantly. The little girl was anxious as they walked down the cool corridors, the faint noise of medical machines blending into the background.

"That's right," Erin nodded, holding her baby's hand a bit tighter. She was _nervous_ to formally meet her fiancé's father, as the last time had been in the lobby of the 21st, and Jay had been none too pleased. But when he had texted and asked if she and Kate wouldn't mind coming down to meet him, she couldn't say no, not when the man was dying.

"He still sick?" Kate asked, looking around the hallway, "How come he's not better yet?"

Erin swallowed, "I'm um, not really sure baby." She spotted Will at the end of the hall, the weary doctor offering a halfhearted wave. "Look, there's Uncle Will."

Kate smiled softly, clearly aware that it wasn't the appropriate time to run up and hug her uncle excitedly. Erin was constantly impressed by her daughter's ability to read other people and situations. "Hey, Monkey, Er, thanks for coming." Will smiled tiredly, "Jay just stepped out to get a cup of coffee."

"How's he doing?" Erin murmured after Will had hoisted Kate up into his arms for a hug.

"My brother? Or my dad?" Will glanced over Kate's head. Erin shrugged in response, having been curious about both men, "Hanging in there."

"We seeing your daddy today too?" Kate asked Will, looking to the closed hospital door to their right.

"Mm-hm, that's right. Jay and I have the same dad," Will replied, "And there your dad is now."

"Hey babe," Jay smiled as Erin wrapped her arms around his torso when he approached, grateful to have her in his arms again, "Missed you."

"Missed you," she mumbled in response and stifled a yawn.

"Brought you coffee too," Jay extended the cup to Will and then to Erin, "Figured we could all use some." He turned to Kate, "How does a juice box sound for you, kiddo?"

Kate smiled and accepted the juice from her father, "Thank you Daddy."

"Are you okay to meet my dad today?" He asked, taking a sip from the hot beverage. Kate nodded slowly.

"Alrighty, good." Jay took a deep breath, "Just so you know, he's pretty sick, but he wanted to meet you guys."

"He'll be on his best behavior," Will interjected. He could sense the little girl's growing anxiety, "You wanna head in with your dad, Monkey?"

Kate nodded quickly, gratefully holding tightly to her father when Will passed her off. Jay could feel her relax immediately against him and his heart swelled with pride. There had been a time, arguably not too long ago, when his daughter had been reluctant to accept comfort from her father. After the tumultuous few years of her life, it had taken weeks and months of proving himself for Jay to a consistent figure of safety for Kate.

 _"Erin?" Kate's small voice came just above a whisper as she sat on the bench in the locker room, glancing up at the detective._

 _"Yeah, baby?" Erin looked down at the little girl and gave a smile, "What's up?"_

 _"How come you're all fancy?" She sized up Erin's very short skirt and tight top, "A-are you going to a p-party?"_

 _"Well, kind of. I'm going undercover, which is why I have to wear this outfit. So I blend in and so that we can catch the bad guys." She smiled and sank down to meet Kate's gaze, "Jay's gonna be there too, and Sergeant Voight and the rest of the team are going to be waiting outside."_

 _Kate looked nervous, "A_ party _?"_

 _"Mm-hm," Erin gently tucked the hair obstructing Kate's face behind her ear, "Hopefully it'll be done soon, and then you, me and Jay, we'll all head home together, sound good?"_

 _The little girl was silent as she toyed with Erin's long necklace, "I-I don't want you to go to the party," she said finally, barely audible, "Do you gotta go?"_

 _Erin furrowed her brow slightly, her heart clenching at the child's request but knowing that she had to explain that she was needed at the party for work. "I'll be back soon, sweetheart. I know it's late and I'm sorry we're still out, but we'll head home as soon as this is over. Promise."_

 _Kate shook her head, tears welling in her hazel eyes, "B-but I_ seen _parties and-and I been der and…" she hiccuped, tears now trickling down her cheeks, "S-sometimes, the ladies get_ hurt _. And I don't want you to." She sniffed, willing herself not to cry more._

 _"Oh, sweetheart," Erin felt a lump forming in her throat. She knew that Kate had seen a lot of terrible things, but the little girl hadn't told her or Jay any details. After three weeks together, she was just getting to know her. "I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I promise, I'm going in as a detective. And Jay's going to be there with me-"_

 _"J-J-Jay's a man at a_ party? _" Kate eyes went wide with fear, "He goes to parties?" Tears streamed down Kate's cheeks as she fought to reconcile the man she had gotten to know over the past few weeks and the men she knew attended bad parties with women._

 _Erin realized her error just as she heard the familiar cadence of Jay's footsteps coming down the hall._

 _"You ready, Er?" Jay poked his head into the locker room, dressed in a sport coat and black shirt. "Hey, Squirt."_

 _Kate let out a squeak and pushed herself off the bench, glancing around the locker room for another exit. "Wait, Kate, wait," Erin rushed out, hurrying after the little girl as she desperately searched for an exit amongst the lockers. "Sweetheart, it's alright."_

 _She shook her head rapidly, shaking against the blue metal as Erin looked concernedly at her, "No, no," she managed, "Please." Kate let out another whimper as Jay rounded the corner, "No!"_

 _"Er, what-" He glanced to his partner nervously, but she held up her hand and sank down to meet the little girl's gaze._

 _"Kate, baby, Jay's a good guy. I promise. He's going tonight with me, as a detective, and he'll make sure nothing happens to me. And I'll make sure nothing happens to him." Erin extended her arms, "Jay and I, we only go to these places as the police, so that we can catch the bad guys."_

 _Kate looked skeptically at Erin and then to Jay, who was now on his knees a few feet behind Erin. "He still good?" She breathed, "J-Jay's not going to the party for real?"_

 _"Exactly," Erin confirmed, "Jay's the best guy I know. And he's going to be in there to keep me safe. And I'm going to do the same for him. I promise, babes, you're safe with us." After a beat, Kate edged away from her place pressed up against the cold lockers and into Erin's arms._

 _"I'm sorry," Kate whispered, her damp cheek pressed against Erin's shoulder, "I'm sorry."_

 _"You have nothing to apologize for, baby," Erin insisted, stroking the back of Kate's head. She turned to Jay, who was staring at his girls, perplexed at the situation that had unfolded in front of him, "Almost ready babe. I was just explaining how under cover works to Kate here. How it's not real for you and me, that we're there as the police to catch the bad guys."_

 _"That's right," Jay confirmed, offering a gentle smile, "Erin and I will be together too, so we'll have each other's backs."_

 _"Cause you're partners?" Kate lifted her head off Erin's shoulder and looked to Jay for confirmation, "You the good guys?"_

 _"That's absolutely right. I'm not going to let anything happen to Erin, and she's going to keep me safe too." Jay pulled at a button on his shirt, "You see this button here? It's also a camera. So Sergeant Voight and the whole team will be watching too, making sure that Erin and I are okay."_

 _"They gonna be there the whole time?" Kate whispered, looking up at Jay tearfully, "They not gonna let Erin or you get hurt?"_

 _"That's right." Jay inched closer Erin as they were still on the locker room floor, "We've got a really good team."_

 _"Okay," Kate breathed. Erin and Jay exchanged smiles, grateful that they made it through the difficult discussion._

 _"Alrighty, babes," Erin stood with Kate in her arms. She instantly went rigid with fear._

 _"D-do I gotta come to the party?" she asked, eyes filling with tears again, "I-I don't wanna go, please."_

 _"Oh, kiddo, you don't have to go at all," Jay assured her as he dusted off his knees, "You'll be safe here with Sergeant Platt, okay? Trust me, we wouldn't bring you undercover with us."_

 _"You're gonna read a few stories with Sergeant Platt," Erin gestured to the tote bag with books and art supplies, "Does that sound okay?"_

 _"I wanna be_ wif _you," Kate mumbled softly, "But I know you gotta work."_

 _"We want to be with you too, baby." Erin kissed Kate's forehead, "We'll be back soon enough, and the three of us can all head home together."_

 _Kate nodded again, "I like bein' with you and Jay."_

 _"We like being with you too, Squirt. More than anything." Jay stroked Kate's hair gently, "We love you so much."_

* * *

"Hey, Dad," Jay greeted as he trailed after Will into his father's hospital room, "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty," Pat Halstead grumbled. Both Will and Jay shot their dad a pointed look. The older man glanced up and realized that his son had a little girl on his hip, and a beautiful woman at his side. "Sorry. Just…tired."

Jay grunted slightly and swallowed. "Dad, this is Erin, my fiancé." He put an arm around Erin's shoulders, still balancing Kate on his hip. "And this is Kate, our daughter."

"Nice to meet you," Erin nodded in Pat's direction, making eye contact with her future father in law's steely gaze.

"Guess you won't be saying, 'I've heard such great things about you'," the eldest Halstead muttered, clearing his throat.

"Dad," Will interrupted, as Jay opened his mouth to say a few unsavory things to his father, "C'mon."

"Sorry," Pat repeated, "I have to say, I am surprised Jay managed to convince a woman like you to marry him."

"He's a good guy. And a great father," Erin replied evenly, determined not to lose her cool. "Kate and I are very lucky."

"Mm," Pat hummed, "How old are you, Katie?"

The little girl flinched in Jay's arms at her grandfather's question and kept her lips shut. " _Kate_ ," Jay emphasized, knowing full well that Kate didn't appreciate being called Katie. Back when she had first joined their family, she had recalled how the men who used to abuse her had called her Katie following a terrible nightmare. He glanced down at his daughter, slightly trembling in his arms, "Kate, sweetheart, do you want to tell my dad how old you are?"

She looked to Erin with fearful eyes but held up four fingers, "I am almost five," she whispered, the other hand clutching Jay's shirt tightly.

"Wow," Pat mused, "Looks like you're not feeding your kid enough son, I woulda guessed she was three."

"Jesus, Dad," Will exasperated before Jay could respond, "Try a little here."

"I think we'll be heading home," Erin placed a hand on Jay's tense shoulder, recognizing that her partner was gearing up for a fight, "Feel better, Pat."

* * *

Over the next few days, Jay begrudging spent time at the hospital to check on his dad. Following their awkward encounter with the older man, Jay and Erin decided that it would be best to keep Kate away from her ailing grandfather. While Erin had offered her support to be with Jay and Will at the hospital, he insisted she stay with Kate so to not subject her to any more of his father's unpleasantness.

"Hey," Erin greeted, looking up from her spot on the couch to her partner as he entered the apartment. Jay closed the apartment door behind him and tugged off his shoes, dropping them to the ground. He didn't bother to line them up like he normally did.

Erin furrowed her brow at her partner's out of character action. "Everything okay, babe?"

"Mm," Jay replied noncommittally, settling heavily on the couch beside his fiancé. He pressed a kiss to the side of her head and breathed deeply.

"How's your dad?" she whispered gently after a moment, turning her head slightly so she could see her partner's face.

Jay was quiet. "He um, didn't make it."

"Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry," Erin gripped his hand.

"I'm not," Jay gritted out, swallowing thickly, "I'm not sorry. He was an ass."

"He was your dad, babe," she murmured, facing her fiancé, "It's alright to be upset."

"I'm not sad, I'm…" Jay rubbed his face, "I'm _angry._ " Tears welled in his eyes, "I'm so angry, Er."

"I know." Erin reached out a hand to stroke his cheek, "I know babe. And I'm still so sorry."

With that gesture, finally, after days of holding it back, Jay let out a choked sob. He covered his face with his hands in one last desperate attempt to keep all his emotions at bay, but Erin gently pried his fingers off his face and ran her cool thumbs over his cheeks. "It's alright, babe," she whispered, "It's okay."

Erin wrapped her arms around her partner as he folded against her, body spent from days of sitting by his father's bedside, watching him fade away. Another sob tore through his throat and he keeled over in her lap while she bent over him, trying to provide as much comfort as possible by running her hands down Jay's back, arms, massaging his neck and scalp. His body convulsed in sobs, hot and angry tears trickling down his cheeks and onto her pajama pants.

Erin held her partner closely, feeling like her own heart had been stomped upon while Jay wept.

* * *

 **Another one I wasn't totally in love with, but I'm really excited for the next few that wrap this all up. Stay tuned!**


	71. Chapter 71

**Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"Mommy?" Kate asked over her bowl of cheerios, looking expectantly at Erin. Her mother was clutching the mug of coffee like it was her lifeline and had zoned out, staring at the closed bathroom door where her partner was taking a shower. Following his admission that his father had passed, Jay lay in Erin's lap for what felt like hours while she tried to provide as much comfort as possible. His relationship with his father was complicated, but it hurt nonetheless.

Erin had been able to convince him that sleep was more important, that the details of his father's burial and alerting people who he knew could wait until the morning. Instead of sleeping, Erin lay awake beside her fiancé, listening to his heartbreaking dreams while he slept. It was a miracle he could sleep at all, but she knew it was anything but restful.

They decided that they'd tell Kate together, so Erin was waiting for him to emerge from the shower. Her baby could tell that something was up.

"Hi, baby," Erin replied after clearing her throat, "Sorry about that. I was just thinking."

"Bout Daddy?" Kate hedged, glancing at the bathroom door that her mother had been staring at, "You worried 'bout him?"

She nodded and tried to force a smile, "A bit, yeah. Could you tell?"

Kate scooped a spoonful of cheerios into her mouth and nodded thoughtfully. She swallowed, "Cause I been worryin' 'bout Daddy too."

"You don't need to worry about me, Squirt," Jay said, coming out of the bathroom in a clean t shirt and pair of jeans. "I'm alright."

She furrowed her brow slightly and turned to Erin, then back to Jay, "H-how come you look worried?"

Jay and Erin exchanged glances. "Well, kiddo, um, my dad died last night. While he was sleeping. So I'm going to need to make a few calls today, but um, everything is alright with us, I promise." He offered a smile, "You don't need to worry about me."

Kate looked even more worried than before, "B-but your daddy died?"

"He did," Jay nodded, "He was sick and after fighting pretty hard, eventually, it was his time. And me and Uncle Will, we were able to spend the last few days with him. So he died with his family and he's at peace now."

The little girl wrapped her arms around Jay's neck and held tightly, "I'm sorry 'bout your daddy," she whispered. Erin gave a watery smile to Jay, both of them impressed with Kate's ability to handle death.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Jay kissed the top of her head, "You know, all I really want to do today is to spend some time with my girls. Does that sound okay to you?"

She nodded, "That would make you feel better?" Kate asked, "Spendin' time with me and Mommy?"

"That always makes me feel better," Jay replied, reaching over the counter to squeeze Erin's hand, "I have to make a few phone calls, but maybe we could head to the part a bit later?"

* * *

"How about a game of hide and seek?" Jay suggested after wiping his hands dry on the dish towel. It was absolutely pouring outside, the April showers finally turning from snow to rain. He could tell that his little girl was itching for something to do, having abandoned her coloring sheet in favor of helping him finish the dishes while Erin was in the shower.

Jay had made the calls he needed to in respect to his father's passing. The older man did not have many friends, so notifying people between him and Will was done relatively quickly. After doing the dishes, Jay had hoped that the sky would have cleared, but instead it chose to rain, fitting with the day.

Kate looked up at him curiously, "Hide 'n seek?"

A grin spread across Jay's lips, "It was my favorite game as a kid. Uncle Will and I used to play all the time." He glanced around the apartment, "Basically, one of us covers our eyes and counts to twenty, and the other people go find a hiding spot somewhere in the apartment. Then, the counter gets to go looking for the hiders and whoever gets found last, gets to be the counter next time."

The little girl furrowed her brow as she contemplated the game, "Okay!" she said finally, "Is Mommy gonna play too?"

"Of course I want to play!" Erin piped up, emerging from the bathroom while combing her damp hair out with her fingers, "What are we playing?"

"Hide and seek," Jay supplied, "Babe, do you want to hide first while Kate and I count together? Just so we can demonstrate?"

Erin's eyes twinkled at her partner's enthusiasm. "Sure. How long do I have?"

Jay turned to Kate. "What do you think Squirt? Twenty seconds long enough?"

The little girl nodded and delicately placed her hands over her eyes. "No peeking!" Erin called over her shoulder as Jay began to count out loud, Kate chiming in as well.

Erin stepped behind the bathroom door and waited for the number to reach twenty. She grinned to herself as Jay instructed Kate on where to look. "Maybe behind the closet?" Jay suggested, trailing after Kate as she glanced around.

Instead of opening the closet door, Kate let out a squeal, "I see Mommy, she's behind the baf-room door!"

"Great job kiddo!" Jay praised, fully opening the door to reveal his partner, "You found Mommy!"

"Now we hide?" Kate asked excitedly, already gearing up for her turn.

"That's right. You guys hide, I'll count," Erin said, unable to keep the smile off her face at her daughter's excitement.

Twenty seconds later, Jay was crouched behind the kitchen cupboards while Kate was standing behind the blue curtains, trying to remain as still as possible. Though Erin noticed Kate immediately, she pretended that she couldn't and proceeded to locate her fiancé first. "I can't find Kate," Erin said seriously, "She's not in her room or anywhere!"

"Hm," Jay said playfully, "I don't see her either."

Kate let out a giggle. "Is that a little squirt I hear?" Jay said, moving toward the curtain, "Erin, did you hear that?"

"Gotcha!" Erin exclaimed, pulling back the curtain, "Great hiding place baby. You almost fooled me."

Kate squealed again, "I count this time now?"

While their little girl patiently counted to twenty, Erin hid within the hallway closet, while Jay, struggling to find a place for his larger body, decided to hide behind Kate's bedroom door. "Twenty!" Kate called out, removing her hands from her eyes and glancing around the apartment, "I'm comin'!"

She peered into her parents room first, in their closet, in the bathroom and under the bed, but neither Erin or Jay could be found. Instinct and bad memories kicked in as Kate scurried across the living room to her own bedroom. She searched under her bed and in the closet, but couldn't find her parents anywhere. "I-I don't wanna play anymore," Kate called out, lower lip trembling, "C-can you come out?" Tears quickly made their way down her cheeks, "I don't wanna play."

In an instant, Jay stepped from behind the bedroom door and Erin emerged from the closet. "What's wrong, baby?" Erin asked, sinking to Kate's level and stroking the tears off her cheeks, "You were having such a good time a minute ago."

"I-I-I didn't like when I couldn't find you," Kate hiccupped, wrapping her arms around her mother tightly, "I didn't like it."

It was then when everything clicked in Jay's brain and he felt royally stupid. Of course hide and seek was a terrible choice for a child like Kate, who had spent the majority of her life in isolation and was terrified of not being able to find her parents, people who she finally trusted. "Oh, I'm so sorry kiddo," he swallowed, "I wasn't thinking right when I suggested the game. I didn't mean for you to get scared."

Kate shuddered against Erin, relaxing as she knew where her parents were, "I-I didn't mean to get sad," she whispered, "I just like bein' able to see you guys."

Erin kissed Kate's forehead and held her closer, "Of course, baby. We get that. And it's okay to get sad or scared." She stroked Kate's hair back, "You've been through a lot for just being a kid, okay?"

She nodded, "Maybe we play Legos instead?"

* * *

"You and Halstead pick a date yet?" Hank asked after a sip of coffee. He and Erin were sitting at a diner on a Tuesday morning at their bi weekly breakfast date. It had begun years ago back when she was on patrol and was assigned to work Sunday nights during the Voight family dinner and continued into her thirties. Even after she saw her almost-father every day at work and had breakfast every Sunday with her boyfriend-turned-fiancé and their daughter, the breakfast every other Tuesday was special.

She shook her head, mouth full of omelet. Erin swallowed, "We um, well, _I_ , want to adopt Kate first. So once the ink is dry there, we'll start thinking about everything else. But she's the most important part." She offered a smile in response to her father figure's kind eyes, "What?"

"Nothin'," Hank replied, taking a sip of his coffee, "Just that you're growing up is all. I mean, fifteen years ago you were barely surviving, living on the streets. And now, you're gettin' married and you've got a kid of your own. I'm proud of you, Erin, I really am."

She grinned, "Who knew you could be such a softie?"

Hank grunted in response, "Eat your breakfast, kid. Gonna take a lot more than a few bites of omelet if you're going to raise a brood."

Erin rolled her eyes and picked at the potatoes, "Please, Kate is probably the most well behaved kid that ever existed. I can't imagine her raising anything like the hell Justin and I did." She smiled wistfully, "You and Camille certainly had your hands full."

He nodded, "You've brought that little girl back from the brink, Erin. You and Halstead really turned her around. God knows what would have happened to her if you didn't take her in."

"Could say the same thing about me," Erin reminded him, "And-" She was cut off by the crackling of her radio, alerting local police that there was reported drunk and disorderly not two blocks from where they were. She raised her eyebrows at her sergeant, who tossed a few bills on the table and pulled his keys out of his jacket pocket. "50-21 Lincoln, responding," Erin replied into the radio, "We're two blocks out."

"It'll be our good deed for the day," Hank said, heading for the door.

"Mm," Erin replied, "That's what Olinksy said that time we found all those dead girls when we responded to a foul odor."

Hank grunted and Erin followed him out of the diner and jumped into the Escalade after radioing back that she and Hank were on their way. "It's a taco truck? Someone is drunk at eight in the morning at a taco truck?"

"Chicago," Hank said in response, "Never ceases to amaze me."

Sure enough, there was a significant amount of commotion surrounding a local taco truck that was in a parking lot surrounded by a few tables and chairs. Hank and Erin quickly disembarked, ushering the disturbed patrons away, "Chicago Police!" Hank called out, "Come on out, we're here to help you."

"I've got a gun!" The man slurred, still hidden within the truck, "I've gotta gun and I'm not afraid to use it."

"He's got a gun? Dude just burst into the truck," the cook informed Erin, wiping his hands on his apron, "Didn't know anything about no gun."

"Just get back sir, please," Erin instructed, "50-21 Lincoln, offender is armed, repeat, offender is armed." She shot a look over to her sergeant, "Careful, Hank."

"This is the Chicago police. Come out with your hands above your head and everything will be okay," Hank said, "My name is Sergeant Hank Voight."

"Fuck off, Sergeant Hank Voight," the man garbled from behind the truck, "Fuck off."

Sirens wailed in the background and the sound of tires squealing to a stop was heard as Burgess and Olinsky pulled up. "Nobody needs to get hurt here," Hank insisted, "Come out with your hands up."

"We got this," Olinksy said, coming behind Erin, "You need to vest up." He approached the truck, closer to where Voight was standing, "Come on out man, show us your hands."

"Gun!" Hank shouted. Almost in slow motion, the disturbed man fired a shot, which Hank quickly returned.

"Erin!" Burgess shouted, rushing toward the detective who had fallen to ground.

* * *

Hank's world had flipped upside down.

He sat in the back of the ambulance, gripping his girl's hand tightly within his own. "Stay with me, kid," he instructed, swallowing thickly at the sight of the blood that stained her grey top, "Stay with me."

" _Erin!" Burgess' scream caused all the hairs on Hank's arm to stand up. Erin? Not his Erin._

 _In an instant, Olinksy was at Erin's side, crimson spreading across her shoulder as she lay sprawled on the ground. Blood quickly seeped through her leather jacket, her light brown locks turning a sickly shade of red as she groaned, trying to speak. "Hey, hey, hey, Erin," Olinksy said calmly as he could, shedding his jacket and pressing it on his fellow detective, "Burgess, call an ambo!"_

 _"Stay with me, kid," Olinksy begged as Erin grunted, pain ripping through her body, "Stay with me."_

 _"Erin!" Hank shouted, closing the space between him and his girl as quickly as possible, "That bastard."_

 _"Hey," Olinksy caught Hank's jacket, his hands stained red with blood. Erin's blood. "C'mon man. Not now. You gotta take care of your girl."_

 _He swallowed and squeezed Erin's hand, applying pressure to the wound on her shoulder, "You're going to be alright kid. I'm here."_

Erin's eyes lazily fluttered open as the ambulance sped through the streets, disrupting the morning commute of many. Dawson had fastened an oxygen mask to Erin's unconscious features so she couldn't speak. "Ugh," she groaned in obvious discomfort.

"Hey, hey, hey," Hank cooed, stroking her blood stained hair off her face, "You're okay, but you were shot. We're getting you into surgery in a few."

Her eyes went wild as she realized where she was. "Platt's picking up Kate and bringing her right to the hospital. Halstead's going to meet us there. You're going to be okay, Erin."

"J-Jay?" Erin managed, as if to confirm that her partner would be notified, "J-" She let out a squeak of pain.

"I know, kiddo, I know," Hank was trying his best to maintain his composure, but watching his girl writhe in pain and distress in the back of an ambulance was rapidly undoing him, "Hang in there."

* * *

 **Eeek please review!**


	72. Chapter 72

**A quicker update because I couldn't leave you hanging for too long - thanks to all who continue to comment!**

* * *

 _Hank's world had flipped upside down. Eight months ago, he had Justin and Camille to worry about. Eight months ago, he was used to shrugging off details about where the young, scrappy street kid he busted a while back was sleeping. He had his family, and his family was his priority._

 _Eight months later, and that same scrappy street kid was his family. Erin Lindsay was a fighter, her exterior hardened to the world that didn't hold back in what felt to her like a never-ending onslaught of suffering. She felt alone and exhausted, addicted to painkillers and at the mercy of her mother and abusive boyfriend. But Hank loved the spark in Erin, the spark that never seemed to give out, no matter what life threw at her._

 _He loved her like she was his own, and had vowed to protect her at all costs._

 _"I'm worried, Hank." Camille placed her hand atop her husband's calloused fingers, "She knows better."_

 _Hank grunted and glanced over to the oven, where the time was staring back at him in red numbers. 1:07AM. Erin had a midnight curfew. After those eight months of staying with them, Hank and Camille decided that extending her curfew two hours would demonstrate the trust that she had built up with them. "Shouldn't have trusted her," he muttered, taking a slow sip of the coffee his wife had brewed two hours ago._

 _"She's just a child," Camille said gently, "And she told us she was just going to the movies with Annie, I'm sure she'll be home any minute."_

 _"I'm going to go find her," Hank decided, rising to his feet. His face softened when he saw his wife's worried expression, "You won't be able to sleep otherwise, dear."_

 _Camille opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by the house phone ringing shrilly. "Hello?" Hank answered gruffly, "Erin? Erin?" Camille widened her eyes are her husband, hoping that the young girl they had taken in was alive and well on the other end of the call._

 _"I'm at Bunny's," Erin managed, her words slurred, "I-I think her boyfriend slipped me somethin' cause I'm dizzy and I'm hiding in the bathroom-"_

 _"I'll be there shortly," Hank barked out, "Stay put." He grabbed his keys off the table, "She says the mother's boyfriend drugged her. I don't buy it." Hank reached for his gun as well._

 _"She's just a child," Camille repeated, "Children are allowed to make mistakes."_

 _"This one has made too many," Hank snapped, "Al will meet me there."_

 _"Bring her home, Hank," Camille said firmly, "Bring her_ here _."_

 _He nodded in response before kissing her cheek gently. "I'll be right back."_

* * *

 _Camille jumped at the sound of pounding at the door. She quickly vacated her spot at the kitchen table and hurried to the front door. She opened it to reveal her husband with the young woman they had taken into their home cradled in his arms, her fair skin leeched of all color. "Hank!" Camille gasped, opening the door wider so that he could enter, "My god."_

 _"I'm going to bring her to the bathroom," Hank said, maneuvering up the narrow staircase, Erin still limp in his arms, "Can you get some extra towels?"_

 _She nodded wordlessly and followed her husband up the steps. She quietly shut her son's door before reaching into the hallway closet for extra towels. "What happened?" Camille breathed as Hank sank to the ground, Erin now half draped on his lap as he tried to get her sitting up, "Do we need to take her to the hospital?"_

 _Hank shook his head, "We just need to keep an eye on her. Hopefully she throws up." He stroked Erin's cheek gently. "Hey, kid? Can you hear me?"_

 _Erin moaned slightly and Camille exhaled, the child making the first sign of life since she entered their house. Camille sank down to her knees and tucked Erin's messy hair behind her ear. She brought a hand up to Erin's neck, "Hank. Her pulse is_ racing. _"_

 _"It's whatever's in her system," Hank responded, holding Erin's slim wrist in his calloused hand, "If she doesn't get sick soon, we'll take her in."_

 _"Her mother did this, didn't she?" Camille's eyes were wet with unshed tears, in disbelief that any mother would sit back and allow her child to be drugged._

 _With that, Erin pitched forward and vomited, thankfully making into the toilet. She heaved again and again, thin body convulsing painfully. Hank nodded grimly, keeping a hand on Erin's back as she breathed heavily, body bent over the toilet. "Al's got the soda she was drinking and is taking it to the lab. Looks to me like the boyfriend dosed her,"_

 _"I'm sorry," Erin croaked, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I'm sorry."_

 _"Shh, Erin-honey," Camille cooed, carefully running a wash cloth over Erin's chapped lips, "You're okay."_

 _"I-I found her in the bathroom, hiding," Hank managed, moving his hand from Erin's back to the back of her head, "Bunny's boyfriend was belligerent, Bunny was passed out on the couch. I, um-"_

 _Erin retched again, the bile from her belly burning her throat as she coughed. It was a moment before she finally quieted, her head resting against thin arms against the toilet seat. Hank cleared his throat, "When I got there, she was barely conscious in the bathroom, mumbling about not taking anything." Hank swallowed guiltily, "I didn't believe her. I was ready to haul her ass out of there and ground her for eternity, til Al picked up the soda."_

 _"I'm sorry," Erin whimpered, feebly lifting her head off her arms. Hank's gaze softened further and Camille continued to wipe her face with the cloth, streaks of dark make up coming away in its wake. "S-she needed a fix," Erin rasped, throat raw, "A-and I poured the soda for me but he came home a-and I guess-" She coughed violently, but produced nothing, having thankfully emptied her system._

 _"Not your fault, kiddo," Hank said, "Not your fault." The phone rang downstairs and he quickly rose, "I'll be right back."_

 _Erin was folded against the toilet, her brain feeling like it had been through a blender. "I-I missed curfew," she whimpered, "I'm sorry." She looked at Camille, eyes clouded with tears and whatever drugs her soda had been spiked with, "P-please don't throw me out."_

 _"Oh,_ honey, _" Camille closed the gap between herself and the young woman, bringing her shaking frame close, "We're not throwing you out."_

 _"I'm sorry," Erin let out a sob, "Hank's going to kill me."_

 _"No, no, Erin-honey," Camille rubbed her back, "You're Hank's girl. He knows it wasn't your fault." She held Erin closer, trying to bring as much comfort as she could, "You're our girl, and you're safe now, my love."_

 _A few minutes later, Hank reappeared in the doorway, "How's she doing?" he asked, as quietly as his deep voice would allow._

 _"She'll be alright," Camille whispered, now cradling the young woman against her chest, "She's worried we're going to throw her out."_

 _Hank swallowed thickly and sank back to the ground. He gently tucked a tendril of Erin's damp hair behind her ear. Her eyelids fluttered open, hazel orbs finally clear from whatever Bunny's trash bag of a boyfriend had spiked her drink with, "Not going to happen," Hank insisted, "You're here for as long as you want."_

 _Erin exhaled softly in relief, "Thank you," she mumbled, "Thank you."_

 _"I'm sorry for not believing you in the first place," Hank replied, feeling overcome with emotion as Erin leaned against him with exhaustion, "This wasn't your fault."_

 _Erin opened her eyes slowly and caught Camille's gaze. "I'm glad you were gonna haul my ass outta there and ground me," she whispered, "Nobody's ever cared enough about me to ground me for stupid shit like that."_

 _"We care, sweetheart," Camille replied. She stood to fetch some ginger ale and crackers from the kitchen. Erin let out an uncharacteristic whimper, as if protesting the older woman's movements. "I'll be right back, Erin-honey. Just going to grab you some crackers and ginger ale to get something in your belly, alright? Hank'll be here with you."_

 _Erin nodded, still leaning against her almost father, "I must smell really bad," she mumbled, "I-I'm sorry, you don't need to stay."_

 _"Yes I do," Hank replied quickly, pressing a kiss atop her sweaty forehead, "I'm here to stay kiddo, and so are you."_

* * *

The ambulance taking a turn jerked Hank out of his reverie. Erin, now a fully grown woman with a family of her own, was still laid upon the gurney in pain. She was in and out of consciousness as they sped along the street toward Chicago Medical Center, the rush hour traffic not making maneuvering any easier.

She let out a whine of displeasure as the ambulance took another turn. "We're almost there," Dawson assured both her and Hank, readjusting the facemask on Erin's nose, "Looks like the bullet made it through your shoulder, but we're going to get you into surgery as soon as possible, okay, Erin?"

Hank swallowed his emotions when he saw tears creeping out of his girl's eye. He tenderly wiped her cheek, dismayed that the blood from his hands and the blood from her hair turned the tears a light pink. "You're being so brave, kiddo," he praised, as if he was talking to a little girl. Of course, she was his little girl, no matter how grown up she was.

Erin cried out in pain, sending the monitor she was hooked up to into a beeping frenzy. The ambulance squealed to a stop and Erin was quickly unloaded. Hank stumbled out of the ambulance, almost in a trance. "Hank!" Will exclaimed, racing up to Erin's gurney, "You alright?"

The older man nodded wordlessly, "Just-just help her, alright?"

Will nodded in confirmation, "You're going to be just fine, Erin."

* * *

 _Erin sat snuggled between Jay's legs as he gently massaged her aching shoulders. She'd body slammed a perp earlier that day and was feeling the after-effects in a big way. "It was a really impressive tackle," Jay said, pressing a kiss to her neck as they sat on his couch, "That guy was at least double your size."_

 _"Mm," Erin replied, leaning into his touch, "Feels good." She shuddered slightly and Jay pulled the blanket closer around her, "It's freezing in here," she mumbled, her head drooping slightly as Jay's thumbs soothingly massaged her back._

 _"It's not summer anymore," Jay reminded her, "It's going to be really cold, really soon."_

 _"Least you're warm." She leaned back when he paused, resting her head against his chest, "Thank you."_

 _"Of course," Jay kissed her lips, which she quickly deepened. She turned and straddled his lap, gripping the sides of his scruffy cheeks with tender fingers, "You feelin' up to it?" he asked, surprised. When they had left the district, Erin had dramatically expressed that all she wanted to do was lay on the couch and eat take out. It had taken a lot convincing for her to agree to let Jay take care of her at his place._

 _"Mm," she replied, kissing him again, "Feelin' much better."_

 _Jay flashed a boyish grin as Erin tugged at his t shirt._

 _"Jay!" Will shouted, abruptly stumbling into the apartment, oblivious to the rapidly escalating scene in front of him, "Lil' brother!"_

 _"Will!" Erin yelped at the same time Jay shouted, "Dude, what the fuck?"_

 _Erin jumped off her partner and drew the blanket around herself while Jay sputtered, "What are you doing here man? How did you get a key to my place?"_

 _"I am drunk," Will declared, tossing the key on the coffee table, "Made a copy or two last time I was here, no biggie." He offered a cheeky grin, "So you guys…are doin' it, huh?"_

 _"Not tonight, thanks to you," Jay scoffed, "Don't you have your own apartment? I don't know, where you live?"_

 _"Gas leak," the redheaded doctor replied, "Got out of my uber, thought I could ya know, just crash since I'd been up for 36 hours but they said it'd be some time, so I thought I'd crash with my favorite little brother."_

 _Jay practically growled, "You could have texted."_

 _"Drunk fingers," Will waggled his fingers sheepishly, "Couldn't get 'em to work their normal magic. Don't worry, you won't even know I'm here."_

 _"I highly doubt that," Jay responded and turned to Erin, "I'm really sorry about him."_

 _"Can we leave him on the couch tonight?" She stood, blanket still wrapped around her, "Don't want this hot-shot doctor to think he can kick us out of your bed."_

 _"You wanna stay?" He was surprised. He thought that the second Will showed up, Erin would decide to head out._

 _She nodded and offered a smile, "I like being here. Plus, seeing you stress out about your drunk brother is kinda funny. He's raiding your fridge, by the way."_

 _"Will!" Jay hollered, "Put the beer down."_

* * *

 _"Honestly, I can't believe you landed a girl like Erin," Will mused, taking a long sip of his coffee. He and Jay were at the bar at Molly's with Natalie and a few of the women from 51, as well as Burgess and Atwater. He was still recovering from the night before, and had opted for coffee instead of his normal beer._

 _Jay took a sip of his beer and nodded, "I mean, she put up with_ you _last night."_

 _"That's what I'm saying," Will insisted, "I mean, none of your other girlfriends would put up with your drunk older brother."_

 _"You haven't met any of my ex's," Jay scoffed, "For good reason."_

 _Will chuckled and drank more coffee, "Sorry again, lil' brother."_

"C'mon Erin," Will murmured, jogging alongside the gurney as Erin was wheeled throughout the hospital toward the operating room, "Stay with us."

As if on cue, Erin's eyes fluttered open again and she let out a gasp of pain, "Hey, hey," he greeted, taking his almost sister in law's hand in his own, "You're going to be alright, Erin, okay? I know this isn't the Halstead face you're lookin' for, but Jay'll be down here as soon as you're out of surgery."

She let out a moan in response, eyelids fluttering again, "We gotta get her under, now," one of the doctors shouted, providing additional instructions. Will gripped Erin's hand tighter as she fought to stay awake, eyes full of tears and fear.

"S-s-st," she attempted, her grip weakening as the anesthetic coursed through her system, "Jay."

Will nodded, understanding exactly what she wanted. "Don't worry, I'll stay until Jay gets here. Promise."

* * *

"Hey, Sarge," Jay greeted as he entered the district. He paused when he saw Trudy Platt's face, "What's going on?"

"Halstead, I'm going to need you to come with me," she instructed, "Come on."

"What's going on?" Jay repeated, glancing around the lobby of the 21st, "Sarge?"

"I need you to stay calm," Platt hedged, "Just-"

"Tell me!" Jay exploded, panic ramping up within him, "Tell me what's going on."

"It's Erin," Platt said finally, tears shining in her eyes as Jay's went wild, "She and Voight responded to a drunk and disorderly and the guy had a gun. She's on her way to Med right now. Halstead…" she swallowed, "She was shot."

Without a word, Jay turned on his heel and raced out of the district as fast as he possibly could, intent on getting to his partner as fast as possible.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think!**


	73. Chapter 73

**Back again, let me know what you think!**

"Hey, Trudy," Alexa Carlson, Kate's teacher greeted, "You're a bit early." She paused when she saw the older woman's somewhat rattled features. "Is…is everything alright?" Alexa glanced into the classroom, where all the kids were busy at work crafting what appeared to be a picture frame with colored pieces of pasta.

Sergeant Platt shook her head grimly, "It's Erin," she whispered, "Um, looks like she was shot, but um, don't react right now, okay? I don't want to spook Kate."

Alexa widened her eyes and stiffened, "Of-of course. Is there anything I can do?"

"I just gotta pick her up and bring her to the hospital," Platt replied, swallowing the lump in her throat, "Halstead and Voight are either there or on their way, Kate's uncle is a surgeon so he can't pick her up and I'm supposed to be at the hospital as well, but I didn't want a uniform to come get her because of last time and…" she trailed off, "Is that alright?"

"Of course," Alexa replied, "Please, give me a call if there's anything I can do. And send Erin and Jay my best, okay?"

Platt nodded and waved at Kate, who had caught sight of her from her desk across the room. "Hi Sergeant Platt!" Kate greeted, smiling widely, "How come you're picking me up early?"

Sergeant Trudy Platt, who usually was not short of things to say, was at a loss. "Um, you and me, we'll talk a little more in the car okay? But can you go get your backpack?"

Kate nodded, the smile quickly fading off her lips. She quickly fetched her backpack and coat from her designated hook and returned to Platt's side. "I'll give you a call," Platt said to Alexa over her shoulder, taking Kate's little hand in her own, "C'mon kiddo."

"What's happening?" Kate asked worriedly as Platt hastily buckled up the little girl in the back of her car, "How come you getted me early?"

Platt took a deep breath and finished the buckles on Kate's car seat. "I need to take you to the hospital where your uncle Will works because," Platt swallowed, "Your mom, um, she got hurt this morning."

Kate's eyes immediately filled with tears, "She's going to be okay, kiddo, the doctors are with her now," Platt continued, "But we're going to meet your daddy and Grandpa Hank and everyone at the hospital right now."

The little girl didn't speak but managed a tiny nod, the tears threatening to spill over her cheeks at any minute. "Hang tight, we'll be there soon," Platt said, closing the back door and igniting her vehicle, intent on getting to the hospital as soon as possible.

* * *

 _"This has got to be the cutest picture in the history of the world," Erin declared, holding up her cell phone so that Jay could see, "Look, babe."_

 _Jay placed his coffee on the counter in the kitchen and peered at his girlfriend's phone. She had snapped a picture of Kate and Jay sitting across from each other in the diner. Jay had placed some whipped cream from Erin's waffles on his nose and made a silly face, and the little girl was laughing hysterically. Erin had run to the restroom quickly, but gotten the picture just in the nick of time. It had been their first meal in public as a family, following their fourth full day together. Kate was still adjusting, as were Erin and Jay._

 _"When did you take this?" Jay asked, unable to keep the grin off his face. The carefree smile on his daughter's face as she laughed at her father's antics in the diner warmed his heart, as she was normally so tense._

 _"Right after I came back from the bathroom, when you were monkeying around in public," Erin said, still focusing on the picture. She glanced up at her partner, who was still staring as well, "Is it weird if I make it my phone background?"_

 _"What? No! Of course not," Jay offered another grin, "It's a great photo." He reached into his pocket for his cell phone, "You wanna see mine?"_

 _Erin raised her eyebrows and accepted her partner's phone. Her heart immediately melted at the background, which was of her and Kate. They were seated on the couch, Kate in Erin's lap, both dozing softly with a book across their lap. "When was this?" she asked, swallowing to keep the tears out of her eyes._

 _"Tuesday," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "Can't believe she's been ours for a week."_

 _Erin nodded, "I feel…I feel like I've loved her forever." She glanced up to Jay with a watery smile._

 _"I felt like that the day I met you," Jay replied honestly, "And the day I found out she was mine." He paused, "But really babe, she's_ ours. _I can't believe she's ours. And gonna be our phone background forever."_

* * *

"You're in no condition to drive," Antonio had said, grabbing Jay by the arm as he attempted to hustle out of the 21st district, "Let me drive you."

"It's Erin!" Jay sputtered, unable to form coherent sentences, "She's, she's at Med, I gotta…"

"Get in," Antonio instructed, grabbing the Sierra keys out of Jay's hand before he had a chance to react while simultaneously pushing the younger detective into his car, "C'mon, man, I'll drive you."

Antonio peeled into the emergency entrance. Before the car had even fully stopped, Jay jumped out of the vehicle, intent on closing the gap between himself and his partner as quickly as possible.

"Where is she?" Jay shouted, bursting through the emergency room doors, "Where is my partner?"

He searched frantically for someone that he recognized, but all the faces were blurred as he whirled around. "Jay!" He heard a voice call from across the crowded Emergency Department, "Jay?"

Jay couldn't tell where the voice was coming from. He spun around again, nearly sick to his stomach as it settled in his chest that Erin was so close, yet so far. A familiar face swam into view as Jay tried to focus. Natalie.

"Where's Will?" Jay croaked, "He around?"

"He's with her," Natalie said, resting a gentle hand on Jay's shoulder, "He said that he wouldn't leave her until you got there."

Jay gulped for air, "So…he's with her?"

"Yep," she confirmed, guiding the frantic detective over to a chair against the wall. She eased him down, Jay in a trance, barely recognizing that he had moved from the entrance across the room. She took a seat next to him. "Will is sitting with Erin in the OR. Pretty sure he even convinced her surgeon that he could hold her hand through the procedure. She's not alone, Jay."

Jay gasped again, desperately trying to suck in a breath. "Breathe, Jay." He heard Nat's voice circle around his head and her soft touch on his shoulder, "She's going to be okay."

"You don't know that," he managed after a moment, lifting his head from his hands, "You can't."

"I _am_ a doctor," Natalie retorted, "And I know Erin, alright? Just trust me."

"She-she must be so scared," Jay choked, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes, "She's so strong but-"

"Will's right beside her," Natalie reminded him, "He's holding her hand until she's out of surgery, and I'm sure he won't let go until you're there."

With that, Jay let out a painful sob and buried his head in his hands, overwhelmed by the weight of it all.

* * *

 _Kate sat in Erin's lap, examining the woman's hands intently. She didn't remember ever meeting anyone with colorful fingernails and especially not blue. Erin was reading a story aloud, her navy-blue nails sliding over the pages as she turned them._

 _Slowly, Kate reached a hand out and gently touched Erin's painted nails curiously. "What's up, baby?" Erin asked, electing to use the nickname she'd taken to calling Kate, "You okay?"_

 _Immediately, Kate drew her hand back and went rigid. "I-I never seen blue fingers before," she whispered after a moment, reminding herself that Erin was nice enough for her to be honest, "I'm sorry."_

 _Erin felt her heart clench. "No need to be sorry, sweetheart." She extended her palm, "I did these ones myself actually. There's paint that's just for your nails and I picked blue."_

 _Kate observed Erin's glossy fingers, mesmerized, "It don't hurt?"_

 _The young detective smiled and shook her head, "Nope. It smells kinda funny when it's wet, but after it dries, it looks nice, don't you think?"_

 _Kate nodded, "I like it." She paused, "How come Jay don't have blue nails?"_

 _At the sound of his name, Jay blearily opened his eyes. He had accidentally fallen asleep beside his girls as Erin read a story, having been exhausted from the long work day after a night of minimal sleep due to his poor little girl's terrible nightmares. "What about me?" he mumbled as Erin smiled softly and kissed the top of Kate's head._

 _"Well baby, I'm not really sure why Jay doesn't have blue nails. I guess guys like him usually don't wear nail polish." Erin flashed Jay a cheeky grin, "What do you say babe? You wanna get your nails done?"_

 _"Um," Jay blanched slightly, still groggy from his brief nap, "Wait, what?" He exchanged glances with Erin, whose expression was taunting. "I'm getting my nails done?"_

 _"Mm-hm," Erin replied, boosting Kate out of her lap and beside her on the couch, "I'll be right back, baby, okay?"_

 _While Erin scurried to the bathroom to acquire the necessary nail supplies, Jay turned to Kate, "I've never had my nails done," he said honestly, rubbing his eyes as he stifled a yawn._

 _"Me neither," Kate whispered, glancing down at her own tiny fingers. She looked back up at Jay, "Do I gotta, too?"_

 _Jay shook his head quickly. His little girl was just four years old, and despite being very clever and having only had been_ his _for a little over a month, he wasn't ready to see her wearing nail polish or make up or god forbid going out with_ boys _. He shuddered at the thought. "Whatever you're comfortable with," he exhaled, offering a smile, "But I think Erin wants to see me with blue nails, just so she and Ruzek can laugh at me tomorrow."_

 _"We're not going to make fun of you," Erin rolled her eyes, sitting down on the coffee table in front of her boyfriend. "Gimme your hand, Halstead."_

 _Jay couldn't take his eyes off Erin as she delicately painted his fingers, doing her best to keep the polish on his nails and not on his fingers. He loved how Kate's eyes were trained on Erin as well, observing the woman's every move._

 _"Sorry about the blue nails, babe," Erin breathed softly as they lay in bed later that night, "I figured she's too young for you know, nail polish, so I figured painting yours to show it was harmless was the next easiest thing." She paused and chuckled softly, "Guess I could have just re-painted mine."_

 _Jay snorted and kissed the side of her head, "I love you, you know that?"_

 _"Mm-hm, I do," Erin replied, running her manicured fingers through his hair, "I love you too."_

 _"She really looks up to you, too," Jay murmured, "Kate watches your every move and looks at you like you hung the moon."_

 _"She does not," Erin scoffed, "She looks at you too."_

 _"Mm, but not like you." He reached his hand across Erin's body and pulled her closer, "Every time I look at her, and you, I just can't believe how lucky I am. And how thankful I am that you brought her home."_

* * *

"Where's Voight?" Jay managed, clearing his throat, "Is he…is he picking up Kate?"

Natalie looked up from her cell phone. "Hank's getting checked out right now, just as a precaution." Jay widened his eyes in concern, "When he didn't refuse, we thought something was up," Natalie explained, "I spoke with Platt, who said she'd be picking Kate up and bringing her here shortly."

Jay tried to nod, but his head felt too heavy, "When did she go into surgery?"

"About ten minutes before you arrived," she replied, gratefully accepting a cup of coffee that Antonio had acquired. He held one out to Jay, who gingerly accepted.

"Platt said she'll be here shortly," Antonio piped up, taking a seat on the other side of Halstead, "She's got Kate."

"God," Jay blew out a breath, "What…what am I going to tell her?"

Both Natalie and Antonio were quiet. "The truth," Antonio said finally, "Her mom got hurt doing the job she loves. The doctors are doing everything they can right now to fix her up."

Jay swallowed, tears filling his eyes again, "She loves Erin. So much. If, if anything happens, I-" his voice cracked.

"She's going to be okay, man," Antonio hedged, looking desperately at Natalie for some support, "It's Erin. Girl was born to fight."

He shook his head, "She thinks of everything. No matter what, she's always a step ahead of me and she knows just what to say. I-I can't raise our daughter without her, she's, she's…she's Kate' mom."

"Don't lose hope," Antonio instructed, "I was shot. Burgess was shot. We're both fine. Trust us, Halstead."

Antonio's positivity didn't have the desired effect. Jay was still reeling, thinking about his girls. He glanced around, "Where's Voight? Nat said they were checking him out, I should probably-" Jay caught sight of Voight coming from a bay, his shirt still splotched with blood. _Erin's_ blood.

"Where is she?" Voight asked, appearing just as anxious as Jay, "Any update?"

Jay's eyes were trained on Erin's blood. "I'll go see if I can reach Choi for an update on Erin," Dr. Manning rose from her seat, "Sergeant Voight, I can direct you to the locker room, they keep extra clothes in there in case of um," she glanced down at his blood-stained shirt, "necessity."

Voight nodded wordlessly and followed the doctor, the fact that he was covered in his daughter's blood finally registering.

* * *

"Is my daddy hurt too?" Kate whispered, holding stringently to Platt's hand as they hustled across the hospital parking lot.

"What?" Platt stopped in her tracks to allow a car to pull in front of them, "No, kiddo, he's not. Why do you ask?"

Kate looked nervous, "I don't want to have no mommy and no daddy again." Tears that had filled her gentle eyes quickly spilled over her cheeks, "I just got them."

"Oh, sweetheart." Platt bent down and scooped the distraught little girl into her embrace and held her tightly, "Your dad is just fine. And your mom is one of the strongest people I know, alright?" She looked both ways before crossing over to the hospital entrance, Kate on her hip, "We're going to go inside now and find your dad, and then we'll get an update on your mom."

"Wait," Kate sniffed, causing Platt to stop ahead of the doors, "Wait."

"What's wrong?" Platt raised her eyebrows in concern. "Are you okay?"

"I-I need to get down," Kate replied, wiping a small hand across her cheeks. After Platt set her gently on the ground, the little girl looked up at her solemnly, "I-I gotta be brave. For Daddy."

"Oh, sweetheart," Platt repeated, bending down to hug the child again, "Your folks are so lucky to have you." She took Kate's small hand in her own and entered the Emergency Department, searching for a familiar face.

"Hey, Sarge," Antonio greeted, catching sight of Platt from across the room. He smiled kindly down at Kate. "Hey there, Miss Halstead. Your dad is right over there." He gestured to where Jay was still seated.

"Did you see my mommy?" Kate asked quietly, still gripping Platt's hand. Her father had his head in his hands, completely unaware that his daughter had arrived.

"Not yet," Antonio said, making eye contact with Platt, "But Dr. Manning said we should have an update soon."

"You wanna see your dad, munchkin?" Platt pointed at Jay, leading the child over to where her father sat. Jay was still zoned out as Platt, Antonio and Kate approached.

"Daddy?" Kate whispered, placing a hand on her father's knee gently. Jay lifted his head off his hands and peered at the little girl with red eyes.

"Hi," he choked out, lifting her into his embrace, "Hi Squirt." He exhaled as he held her closer, his daughter molding into his side, "I'm so glad to see you."

"Is Mommy gonna be okay?" she whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

"I hope so," he mused, "I haven't seen her yet, but Dr. Manning went to go get an update." Jay kissed the side of Kate's head, "Uncle Will's with mommy too."

"He hasn't left her side," Choi confirmed, emerging from the OR restricted area beside Dr. Manning.

Jay stood to greet the doctors, Kate still in his arms. "Hey, monkey, why don't you and I go pick something up for your mom at the gift shop while your daddy and Dr. Choi talk a bit, hm?" Dr. Manning offered a smile, "I got her, Jay."

"You gonna be okay, Daddy?" Kate murmured into his ear. He offered a small smile and gave her another kiss on the forehead.

"I will be, Squirt. I'm sure whatever you pick out, Mommy will love." Jay set the little girl down gently. She took Dr. Manning's hand and followed her toward the gift shop, but looked over her shoulder to ensure her dad was still okay. Jay looked at Choi expectantly, "So?"

"Erin lost a lot of blood, but she got really lucky," Choi informed him, "Bullet entered through her shoulder and exited through her upper back, through and through. No bone damage but she'll be in some discomfort when she wakes up. We've got her on a morphine drip for now and it's going to be a bit before she's awake."

"So she's going to be okay?" Jay asked, waiting on the doctor to confirm that his fiancé was indeed going to be okay.

"She will be. Her heart rate was dangerously high when we first started surgery, but with the blood she received, it looks like we avoided hypovolemic shock. It also doesn't look like she'll lose any mobility in her shoulder, though she'll need physical therapy to avoid muscle atrophy and to help it heal quicker. We've also got her on some strong antibiotics to prevent any infection which can unsettle the stomach, but all things considered, Erin's going to be fine." Choi offered a kind smile, "She's a tough one."

"Thanks man," Jay exhaled, "When can I see her?"

"They're moving her from the OR now. Your brother's been with her the whole time," Choi said, "I'm going to go check on her now, and I'll have a nurse come get you."

"Thanks," Jay repeated, sinking into the chair. He let out another breath.

Antonio put a strong hand on his shoulder. "Told you she was a fighter."

Jay lifted his head off his hands, tears brimming in his eyes, "I just…I just need to see my partner."

* * *

 **Jay & Erin reunion up next! Thanks for being patient :)**


	74. Chapter 74

**Finished this one sooner than I expected! Peep the note at the end too :)**

* * *

Hank returned in a new shirt. Jay was seated in the visitor chairs, awaiting an update from a nurse as to when he could finally see his girl. "Any news?" Hank asked, taking a seat beside the stressed detective. He was trying to be gentle, but not knowing where his daughter was or if she was going to be okay was _killing_ him.

"Choi said she's okay. But going to be in a ton on pain," Jay breathed, removing his head from his hands.

Hank exhaled, "She's strong."

Jay nodded in agreement, "He…he said her heart rate was really high," Jay swallowed, "That she narrowly avoided something really bad, but I-I just, I just think she's gotta be terrified."

The older man's eyes softened. He put a calloused hand on Jay's shoulder, "I know kid, I know. When I saw her I just," Hank paused and attempted to maintain his composure, "The last thing she said to me was your name. She's thinkin' about you and she knows how much you love her."

He nodded again, tears in his eyes, "I don't know if I could do this without her."

"You won't have to," Hank said quickly, trying to convince both himself and Jay, "She's going to be okay, Jay. She's got you and Kate and she's not one to give up easy."

"Oh my god, Kate," Jay buried his head in his hands again, "She's _traumatized_. I mean, between this and Jackson and the miscarriage…"

"Erin got through all those things, kid," Hank reminded him, "You know as well as I do all the shit our girl has seen, but every time she's gotten to the other side. And Kate's going to be alright too."

"I'm not letting either of them out of my sight again," Jay replied dryly, resulting in a soft snort from his sergeant, "Erin made us a family, Sarge. Without her, I don't think any of us would be here. She's brought me back from the brink so many times and with Kate I just…" He sucked in another breath, "She makes us a family."

* * *

It felt like ages before a nurse finally came to inform Jay that Erin was in a room and that he could go see her. "You first, kid," Hank insisted, "I'll wait for Kate, give the two of you some time."

Jay raised his eyebrows in surprise but then smiled gratefully, "Thanks, Sarge," he nodded.

"We're not at work, Jay," Hank informed him, to state the obvious, "You can call me _Hank,_ you know."

"I'll try to get used to it," Jay offered as much of a smile as he could manage before following the nurse down the hall to where his fiancé was.

"The anesthesia should be wearing off shortly, but with the blood loss and additional medications, it's likely she'll be asleep for a few more hours," the nurse caveated prior to opening the door, "Dr. Halstead has been with your partner since she was brought in, so she's been in good hands."

Jay smiled tiredly, just ready to see his girl, "Thank you," he breathed.

When the nurse opened the door to Erin's room, Jay's world stopped. Erin lay in the hospital bed, appearing to be sleeping peacefully. Her shoulder was covered in bandages, and it looked like there was a sling beside the bed, likely for her later use. Jay could tell that she was bruised from the fall and detected streaks of red in her brown locks from her blood, but she still looked like an angel. _His_ angel.

He closed the gap between himself and his partner as quickly as he could.

"Hey, babe," Jay greeted softly, smoothing her hair off her forehead and planting a gentle kiss. He sat beside the bed and reached over her small frame to grasp her far hand that was free of the IV cables and monitors, "I'm here now. And you're going to be okay."

"She should be awake in an hour or so," Will whispered, still standing by Erin's shoulder. He had examined her vitals and they all looked good, but he was reluctant to leave his future sister in law's side, "She's going to be alright, lil brother."

"Thank you," Jay exhaled, unable to fully express how grateful he was that his brother refused to leave his girl's side when he couldn't be there, "Really, man, thank you."

"I'll be back in a little while. Going to check on Voight and Kate," Will informed him, "If Kate asks…?"

"Bring her in," Jay replied quickly, "Please. I know she's desperate to see her mom."

"Will do," the older Halstead nodded and quietly exited, allowing Jay and his partner some privacy.

Jay lifted her hand slightly and pressed a kiss there as well, focusing his attention on the love of his life. "You've been so strong today," he praised, "Well, you're strong every day. But today especially. And Kate and I, we're going to be here with you until you wake up, okay? And we'll be here after, too. We're not leaving you, babe."

He gently ran a thumb over his girl's soft cheek, acutely aware of the salty tears that had dried on them. "You scared the heck out of me," he continued, feeling better just talking to his girl, even though she was asleep with all the drugs coursing through her system, "I just kept thinking about how much I love you and how much Kate loves you…" Jay trailed off but pressed yet another kiss to Erin's delicate fingers.

"I don't know if I ever told you about how much Kate missed you while you were in New York," Jay smiled sadly, recalling just how badly his little girl had missed her mom, "Will's going to bring her in soon because it's getting late and I know she won't be able to sleep without seeing you before bed."

 _"Kate?" Jay called into the apartment, blearily stumbling into his daughter's bedroom. He awoke at three in the morning, overcome with the sensation that something wasn't right. His little girl hadn't been in bed beside him, nor was she snuggled in her own bed. "Kate?"_

 _He cursed himself softly as he headed toward his daughter's closet where he assumed she would be hiding. With Erin out of town, he was trying his hardest to be awake for every nightmare but the lack of sleep was seriously catching up with him. "Hey, kiddo, it's alright," he started, gently pushing open the closet door, "I'm sorry I didn't hear-" Jay stopped short when he saw his little girl was nowhere to be found._

 _Panic set in as Jay moved some clothes aside, hoping to find his daughter far in the back. "Kate?" he called, louder this time, "Kate?"_

 _He hurried back to the living room, glancing around every corner. Jay dragged a hand through his hair, wracking his brain, trying to figure out where his little girl could be hiding. He doubted she would leave the apartment, but triple checked the front door to be sure she hadn't left or been taken. "Please come out," Jay begged, checking in the bathroom closet for Kate, "Kate, sweetheart, Daddy's really worried."_

 _Jay opened the door to his and Erin's shared closet. He heaved a huge sigh of relief when he saw her cowering amongst Erin's summer clothes that were stacked up on the floor, beneath her dressier shirts that were usually reserved for court. "Oh,_ baby, _" he cooed, borrowing Erin's nickname for their daughter, "It's okay. I'm so sorry I didn't hear you. Everything's alright."_

 _"Want Mommy," Kate managed, lifting her head off her knees and staring up at her father with broken eyes, "I want her."_

 _"Me too, kiddo," Jay replied honestly, sinking to the closet floor. He looked around the small space, "Did you come in here because you were missin' Mommy?"_

 _Kate nodded slowly. "Smells like her in here," she whispered, clutching tightly to Tiger. Tears filled her eyes, "I want Mommy to come home."_

 _"I know. I know you do. And I miss Mommy so much too, Squirt. But she's doing her job out in New York, and she'll be home soon." Jay rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Do you want to come spend the night in our bed?"_

 _Kate was quiet for a beat, "I-I feel safer in_ here. _"_

 _Jay gulped, having not been expecting that answer. "Um, okay. How about I grab you a blanket then, hm? So you don't get cold?"_

 _She nodded slightly, keeping her eyes trained on her father as he headed to the living room to grab a blanket off the couch. When he returned, she was still on the closet floor, but appeared to relax slightly when he re-entered. Jay spread the blanket over her tiny body and crouched down. "You sure you want to spend the night down here?"_

 _Kate nodded solemnly, relaxing further as he carefully ran a thumb across her cheek. "Do you want me to go?" he asked after a moment, unsure of what answer he really wanted. On one hand, he did not want to spend the night on the cold closet floor, but on the other, he desperately wanted his little girl to feel comfortable with him, especially with her mother so far away. She shook her head and clasped his hand._

 _"I-I feel safe with you Daddy," she mumbled, eyes cast downward, "I-I'm sorry."_

 _"You have nothing to be sorry for," Jay insisted, settling on his rear instead of crouching on his knees, "I just want you to feel safe, kiddo, and if that means sleeping in Mommy's closet tonight, that works for me too."_

 _Kate managed the tiniest of smiles, "'s your closet too."_

 _Jay returned a grin, "Well, technically yes. But who has the most clothes in here?"_

 _"Mommy," Kate replied, "But I comed in here cause it smelled like you_ and _Mommy. Cause when I'm with both you, that's when I feel the safest."_

"She needs her mom," Jay told Erin, kissing the top of her hand again, grateful to feel her warm skin beneath his lips, "She needs you, babe."

Hank knocked gently on Erin's hospital room door, his granddaughter holding tightly around his neck. Halstead was sitting beside his girl's bed, gently holding her hand and stroking her cheek. He appeared to be talking to her as well, and looked considerably more relaxed now that he was able to sit with her. Jay turned at the noise and gestured for the sergeant to enter.

"Hey Er, Hank and Kate are here," Jay whispered to her, hoping that the entrance of her father and little girl may rise her out of the drug-induced slumber.

"We're a little nervous," Hank informed Jay, indicating that he was speaking for Kate, though in reality he was speaking on both their behalf. He was nervous to see his daughter laid up in a hospital bed, as the thought alone had made his stomach turn. His girl, who had grown from a scrappy teenager to not only a highly-regarded detective but a mother, was pale and bruised from a _gunshot_ wound. The sight not only made his stomach turn but covered him in a cold sweat from both concern and anger at the man who hurt her.

Jay nodded in understanding and offered a smile to his daughter, "Hi Squirt. Do you want to come say hi to Mommy? She's sleeping right now, but I think she'd love to hear your voice."

Kate looked from her father to her mother nervously, still holding tightly to her grandfather. "Mommy's okay?"

Jay smiled and nodded, "She's a little hurt, but she's already on the mend. And you know how strong and brave Mommy is." He gave a grateful look to his sergeant, who was gently running a hand over Kate's back to provide comfort, "I bet a kiss from you would help her feel better even faster."

"Is it alright if I pass you over to your dad, kiddo?" Hank asked gently, understanding how anxious his granddaughter was. She nodded again and reached out to Jay, immediately melting into his embrace.

"I'm so glad Mommy's not dead," she whispered, tears filling her soft eyes. She looked up at Jay tearfully, "I thought I was gonna have no mommy."

"Oh, sweetheart," Jay held his daughter closer, "I'm sorry you were so scared. I was scared too, but Uncle Will and Dr. Choi said that Mommy's going to be okay in no time."

"Is she gonna hurt?" Kate asked, glancing to her mother who appeared to be sleeping peacefully. The nurses had thankfully taken care of the blood on the side of her face from her shoulder wound, but Kate could still tell that her mother was seriously injured.

"For a bit," he said honestly, exhaling slightly, "But then she'll be better. Kinda like when you had surgery in your tummy. You were hurting for a bit, but then you got better."

Kate furrowed her brow, "I-I don't want Mommy to hurt."

"I know, Squirt, I don't want her to either. But Mommy is so strong, the strongest person I know. And she's going to need our help for a bit just to make sure she's comfortable, but she's going to be just fine." Jay forced a smile for his girl's sake.

"How come she's not awake yet?" The little girl was still tearful. She wanted to hear her mommy's voice, _now._

"Soon, kiddo," Hank interjected. He had taken Will's position opposite Jay and Kate and tenderly ran a thumb over his daughter's forehead, "Your mom just needs a little more time."

"I wanna stay with Mommy this time," Kate told Jay seriously, "I don't wanna go home."

Jay sighed, recognizing that he couldn't ask Hank to leave his daughter's side, and he wasn't going to leave her either. Will likely would want to be around to monitor Erin's vitals and he didn't love the idea of Kate not being with him while Erin was still in the hospital. "Okay, baby," he said, settling back in his chair, "It might be awhile though."

"I just wanna be close to you and Mommy," Kate said simply, resting against his chest. Jay had grasped Erin's free hand again, and Kate placed her little palm on top. Jay smiled and kissed Kate's forehead as they waited for Erin to wake.

* * *

"How much longer is it going to be? Til she wakes up?" Jay asked tiredly, his eyes swollen and exhausted as he sat beside his girl, waiting for her to show him those hazel eyes he loved. Will had stopped by to check on Erin's vitals while Kate slept on Hank's shoulder. The older man was resting against the wall, unable to sleep while his daughter was laying in the hospital bed. Jay hadn't been able to rest either, refusing the nurse's gentle request that he head home for rest.

"Not sure," Will furrowed his brow, "Choi should be in shortly. Her vitals are stable though man. She might just need some time."

"She's not awake yet?" Choi entered the room and raised his eyebrows in surprise when Will nodded to confirm that Erin had not yet woken up.

"It's been nearly four hours since she got out of surgery," Will reminded him, "Anesthetic should have worn off by now."

"Hm," Choi mused, rounding the bed and examining Erin's vital signs.

"What's going on?" Jay asked, looking over his shoulder to his sergeant for support, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Jay. But Erin's not out of the woods yet," Choi informed him gently, "Her body's been through a lot. There's still a risk of infection and with the loss of blood, we'll want to conduct a nuero exam to assess any damage to her brain."

"Her _brain_?" Jay nearly choked, "I thought – I thought you said she was okay."

"It's not likely that she sustained any nuero complications," Choi said quickly, "But given that it's been a few more hours than we thought and she's still not awake, we have to consider that possibility."

"God," Jay exhaled, burying his face in the hand that wasn't holding Erin's, "Um, okay. What do we do then?"

"We wait," Will supplied, "If she's not awake in the next few hours, we'll reassess and go from there. But don't stress now, Jay."

"Too late," he croaked, toying carefully with Erin's fingers, silently begging her to open her eyes.

* * *

At first, all Erin could feel was pain. Searing, _burning_ pain, cutting through her entire body. It felt like her blood was on fire as she struggled to open her eyes. _Hank._ He was stressed, trying to keep her awake. Hank being stressed meant something was really, really wrong. As she struggled to get out her fiancé's name, to tell anyone that could hear her that they needed to get Jay, her world went black again.

The ambulance ride was nauseating, Erin drifting in and out of consciousness as Hank begged her to stay with him. Jay? Where was Jay? What about Kate? Erin's thoughts were jumbled together by the feeling like she was being split in two, her body feeling weaker by the minute. Who kept crying? Was it Kate? Was Kate hurt? Erin felt her stomach roll as she realized the desperate cries were coming from her own lips.

Then it was Will. No, it really wasn't the Halstead she was looking for. Where was Jay? Why wasn't he here yet? She cried out, but no noise came. She tried again and again, but she couldn't scream. Jay's name played on her lips as she tried to call his name again. There was a lot of noise, so much noise. Where was Jay? Erin tried to cry again until the buzzing in her ears grew too loud to bear and she finally succumbed to the darkness.

Finally, finally, _finally_ , there was Jay's voice. _Jay_. Jay was in the room with her. He was talking about Kate, about how much he loved her. She wanted to wake up, open her eyes and throw herself into his arms, but her limbs were heavy and her eyes felt like they were glued shut. She listened as Jay talked, willing her body to comply with her demands.

 _Kate._ Her little girl. She could hear her tearful voice. She must be so scared to see her Mommy in a hospital bed, though it wasn't exactly new. But this time, Erin wasn't _there_ and she couldn't even tell her baby she was going to be okay. And Hank. He sounded so worried. She knew he was trying to be stoic, to be calm, though the tinge in his voice indicated he was feeling anything but.

There was Jay again. Her Jay. He was talking in a low voice, his thumb running over her hand again and again. She could do it. She could wake up. She _needed_ to wake up. Her eyes first. Erin cracked an eyelid and the blur in front of her shifted. There was Hank, resting in a chair against the wall and holding a sleeping Kate in his arms. Right at her bedside was Jay. Gosh, she missed that face.

"Hi babe," Erin croaked, tears welling in her eyes as she found his baby blues, "Missed you."

* * *

 **Good news finally! Feel free to leave a review.**

 **I'm also taking suggestions / requests for the sequel to this story! Let me know if you have any!**


	75. Chapter 75

**Peep the note at the end!**

* * *

"Hi babe," Erin croaked, tears welling in her eyes as she found his baby blues, "Missed you."

In that moment, Jay had never been happier to hear that raspy voice. "Erin," he choked out, jumping out of his chair to press a kiss to her forehead, "Babe." Tears streamed down his cheeks before he could stop them. He kissed her again, not believing that she was awake, breathing, alive, "Thank _god._ "

She coughed, her throat raw from the tubes and oxygen. _That_ hurt, sending the stabbing pain in her shoulder down her arms and body. Jay immediately detected her discomfort as he was pouring a cup of water for her to clear her throat. "Oh, Er," he whispered, bringing the cup to her lips, "I'm so sorry."

Erin sipped carefully, her entire body throbbing, "'m okay."

Jay shook his head, wiping off her cheeks with the pads of his thumb. She didn't realize that she had been crying. "I can tell that you're hurting. I'm going to grab a nurse and-"

"Mommy?" Kate tiredly lifted her head off Hank's shoulder, interrupting Jay's statement, "Mommy?"

"Hi, baby," she managed, offering the biggest smile she could muster, "There's my little girl."

Kate practically leapt off Hank's lap, waking up the sergeant in the process. She rushed to her mother's bedside, but stopped short next to her father, recognizing immediately how much pain Erin was in. "I'm so glad you're awake," Kate whispered, holding fast to Jay's jeans, "So glad."

"Me too," Jay echoed, placing a palm on the top of Kate's head. Tears were swimming in Erin's eyes as she tried to maintain the smile, knowing that her little girl was afraid to touch her. She lifted her non-injured arm toward her daughter, trying to convey that she was okay. Kate glanced up at Jay, as if to ask her father if it was okay to touch her mom. She gently reaching out a hand to touch her mother's arm after Jay nodded his approval. "We just gotta be gentle with Mommy for a bit, Squirt," he advised, still holding her hand that was free of the IV cable.

"I'm so happy to see you," Erin replied. She sniffed, the tears still leaking out of the corners of her eyes. Through her tears, she could see Hank standing behind her partner, looking equally as troubled as Jay. "I'm okay."

"You're gonna be just fine," Hank said gruffly, leaning over Kate to stroke Erin's cheek, "You're a real fighter, kiddo."

Her eyes drooped, exhaustion seeping into her bones as Jay rubbed her hands. Hank mentioned that he was going to find a doctor as she fought to keep her eyes open. Jay's gentle gestures were helping abate the pain, but not by much. She dozed slightly as Jay quietly explained to Kate how her mommy had gotten injured. The little girl listened intently but didn't ask any questions, just regarded Erin concernedly. "I'm gonna be fine, baby," Erin told her gently, "Really." She offered another tired smile.

Hank returned with Choi in tow. Kate, immediately recognizing that her father would want to focus his attention on her mother, reached out to Hank, silently requesting he lift her up. Jay nodded gratefully at his sergeant and future father-in-law as the older gentleman scooped up the little girl and allowed her to rest on his shoulder.

"Nice to see you awake, Erin," Choi greeted, stepping before the bed to flash his small flashlight into her eyes. Erin winced at the harshness and recoiled, letting a hiss of pain slip through her lips, "How's the pain?"

"Not great," she mumbled after noting both Hank and Jay's pointed looks instructing her to tell the truth, "I'm alive though," she added dryly.

"You are. Had us worried for a bit with the blood loss," Choi informed her, crossing his arms across his chest, "The anesthesia should be wearing off, and you're likely going to be tired for a bit. We did need to give you some morphine before the surgery, but per your previous requests and file, barring any extenuating circumstances, we will not administer any additional prescriptions without your written consent."

Erin nodded solemnly, grateful they had followed her wishes, but also knowing that the pain was only going to increase in the short term as she recovered. "Do you need any more, kid?" Hank finally piped up, speaking for both himself and Jay, who was thinking the exact same thing, "You've gotta be in pain."

She grunted, "I'll be fine." She wanted to avoid going down that road at all costs. Erin had read the pamphlets and been around enough addicts to recognize that starting up the medication, even after injury, led to an increased likelihood of future dependence.

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most, how much pain are you in?" Choi asked, raising his eyebrows. Erin glanced to Hank, then to Jay before returning her gaze to the doctor.

"Eight," she managed, raw honesty evident in the shakiness of her voice, "Eight."

Hank and Jay both let out an exhale as Jay continued to stroke his fiancé's hand. "If you don't want any prescription medication, we can administer some localize numbing to help with the pain," Choi suggested to which Erin nodded gratefully, "But if your pain persists at a 7 or higher, we'll want to consider additional steps."

Erin nodded again, "Thank you," she whispered, eyes feeling heavy again.

Choi nodded in understanding, "I'll send in a nurse in a bit with the numbing medication." He glanced to Hank, who had Kate now asleep on his shoulder as he stood by Erin's bedside, "It can be quite uncomfortable, so I would um, suggest you take Kate for a trip to the cafeteria."

Jay widened his eyes in surprise, but Hank thankfully nodded. "I'll give you two some time," he said, "We'll be back in a little while, okay kid?"

Erin nodded, "Thanks Hank," she murmured gratefully, "Really."

* * *

"Ah!" Erin exclaimed as the needle made contact with her tender shoulder. Tears pooled in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks before she could stop them.

"Squeeze my hand, babe," Jay instructed, running a thumb over the top of Erin's hand that he was holding. She did as he told her, grimacing in pain as the numbing medication was injected. He hated to see his girl in such agony.

"Sorry, Ms. Lindsay," the nurse apologized, "One more and you'll have some relief in no time."

"Hurts more than getting shot," she choked out, gripping Jay's hand tighter as the second needle entered her shoulder to administer the medication, "Jesus."

"All done," the nurse pulled back, "You should experience a numbing effect in the next ten minutes or so. Dr. Halstead will be in to monitor your pain levels."

"Thanks," Jay supplied for Erin, who was desperately trying to ward off the searing pain in her shoulder. He reached up and stroked her cheek, "I'm so sorry, babe."

"I'm the one who ran toward an armed whack job holding up a taco truck," she scoffed, trying to get her breathing under control, "Shoulda been more careful."

Jay just shook his head and kissed her forehead, allowing his lips to linger. Erin closed her eyes while her partner continued with his gentle touches, needing the constant reminder that she was warm, alive and breathing.

Finally, Erin sucked in a breath, her lungs desperate for real air. The pain had dissipated slightly, allowing her to fully expand her sore ribcage. "Didn't mean to scare you," she exhaled, finding Jay's gaze, "Took one to the shoulder just to come over to your place tonight," she joked, trying to lighten the mood. The tension in Jay's shoulders were visible from a mile away.

He cracked a smile and gently toyed with her fingers, "Well, I don't think you'll be heading home tonight babe. The doctors want to keep you here for observation for at least twenty four hours."

She frowned, more tears filling her eyes for what felt like the millionth time that day, "But I want to go _home._ "

"I know," Jay wiped a tear off her cheek, "Soon, babe, okay? You just really scared me back there and I'd feel a whole lot better if a doctor other than my brother sent you home."

She snorted slightly, "He was with me when I went into surgery," Erin informed him, not realizing that Jay knew Will never left her side, "I-I wanted you to be there, but he said he'd stay with me."

"He didn't leave til I got here," Jay confirmed, gesturing to the opposite bedside, "According to Choi and Nat, Will held your hand throughout the whole surgery too."

Erin managed a watery smile, "Somebody raised you boys right."

* * *

Jay practically jumped out of his skin as a loud beeping noise clouded his dreams. He snapped his eyes open, remembering that Erin was in the hospital and that he was on a chair beside her, head on the hospital mattress. "Her pulse ox came loose," the nurse who had hurried in at the noise assured him, "She's fine."

He exhaled deeply with relief. Kate was still asleep on her grandfather's shoulder, and Hank was asleep in the chair, having thankfully not been disturbed by the noise. Jay fought to get his breath and heart rate under control, doing his best to ground himself.

 _Jay startled at the sound of gunshots in the distance. Immediately, he was drenched in a cold sweat, heart pounding, ears ringing. There was a muffled scream and the sound of crying. He tried to get up from his bunk, but his legs were frozen in place. A hand found his shoulder, urging him to get up, to help his team._

 _"_ Jay _," the voice begged, "Jay, wake up."_

 _He gasped, his eyes finally opening. Instead of being in the desert, Jay was in Chicago. He was in his bed, beside his partner, who was propped up in bed looking very concernedly at him. "S-sorry," he managed, breath finally coming and filling his lungs. He sat up, chilled as the cool air made contact with his sweaty skin._

 _"You alright, babe?" Erin asked, reaching out a hand to tentatively stroke his arm. Goosebumps covered his body, which was damp with perspiration and ever so slightly trembling. "Jay?"_

 _Jay nodded, although he felt anything but okay. "Bad dream," he said finally, locking eyes with Erin and trying to relax, "I didn't mean to wake you up."_

 _Erin was about to reply, when the popping sound of fireworks once again filled the space within their apartment. Jay tensed up again, the memories flooding back like a dam had been opened. Another muffled wail echoed from across the apartment. "K-Kate," he choked out, doing his best to convince his legs to move, to vacate the bed and to provide comfort to his little girl. He was caught between Chicago and Afghanistan, his mind playing tricks on him as he tried to ground himself._

 _"I got her, babe. It's just the fireworks" Erin assured him. She was reluctant to leave her partner as he worked through the noise, reminding himself over and over in his head that he was okay, that he was home, that he was safe. "I'll be right back, okay?"_

 _Jay didn't reply, focused on his breathing. Erin stopped in the doorway, "Just fireworks," she reiterated, until Jay finally acknowledged her statement with a small nod, "Just fireworks."_

 _Erin quickly made her way across the apartment, silently cursing the Navy Pier for having fireworks all summer. It was only when the wind was blowing in a certain direction that they_ actually _heard them in their apartment, but when they did, it usually sent Jay into a PTSD-fueled nightmare. This time, they had a petrified little girl in their home as well, who was equally as afraid of the colorful sky explosions._

 _"Hey, hey, hey, baby, it's alright," Erin cooed, creeping into Kate's bedroom. The child was positively shaking beside her bed, knees drawn to her chest in fear as the sporadic sound of fireworks could be heard in the distance, "It's just some fireworks across town. Everything is okay, and you're safe."_

 _"I'm sorry," Kate whispered tearfully, shivering just as her father was in the next room over, "I-I-I thought they were_ shooting. _"_

 _Kate's words made Erin's blood run cold. The four year old had thought the loud noises in the sky were gun shots, and it absolutely shattered her heart. The fact that she even_ knew _what a gunshot sounded like was awful. "Oh, sweetheart," Erin sank to her knees beside the child, "You're safe, I promise. Nobody's shooting, it's just people celebrating down at the Navy Pier." She paused, it registering that Kate was huddled on the bedroom floor instead of under her covers, "Did you fall out of bed, baby?"_

 _She shook her head slowly, "I-I was hidin'," she mumbled shamefully, "'cause that's what I used to do. When there was shooting."_

 _Erin was at a loss for words as she regarded the sweet child, so frightened that she had sought to hide from the fireworks. Right then and there, Erin decided she was going to file a damn noise complaint to the city. "I'm sorry, Kate," she managed, finally reaching a hand out to provide some comfort, "You're safe now, okay?"_

 _Kate nodded, relaxing slightly as Erin stroked her tiny knees, "W-where's Jay?" she asked after a few moments. She paused, "He-he-he's safe, right?"_

 _"Oh yes," Erin said quickly, "Jay's in bed, just across the apartment." She gestured toward Kate's door that led into their living room. Erin really didn't want to bring Kate into their bed, especially as Jay was still working to collect himself, "He's very safe."_

 _"I'm okay, Squirt," Jay whispered softly, padding into Kate's bedroom. The ongoing fireworks had faded into the distance, and he knew that his daughter needed him. "We're all safe."_

 _Kate visibility relaxed as Jay entered the room. "I'm sorry," she repeated tearfully, "I-I didn't mean to wake you up."_

 _"You can always wake us up, kiddo," Jay crouched beside Erin, "And we were awake anyway." He took a breath, "I don't like fireworks either."_

 _It was then Kate recognized her father's own fear, his eyes still dark from the nightmare. "I don't like the noises because they sound like_ guns, _" she said the word like it was a curse word, "Big Joe, he, he used to shoot."_

 _Again, Erin felt her blood run cold. "The fireworks bring back bad memories, huh?" she stroked Kate's hair back tenderly. The little girl nodded timidly, unsure if she should continue. Erin's gentle touch reminded her that she was safe, so she took a breath._

 _"I-I 'member, um, before you and Jay found me," Kate swallowed, "The sky was 'spoldin," She looked nervously to her father, who was damp from his flashback and to Erin, seated between both her loves, trying to provide as much comfort as she could, "And I got hurt real bad, 'cause I was scared. Of the noise and-and I cried."_

 _Erin nodded in understanding, doing her best to maintain her composure. She rested a hand on Jay's back, "I'm so sorry that happened to you, sweetheart."_

 _"That's not going to happen, ever again," Jay promised, "And we would never hurt you. You know that, right?"_

 _Kate nodded again slowly. She_ knew _she was safe with Jay and Erin. "Thank you," she whispered simply, leaning forward into Erin's embrace. Erin held her closely with one arm, the other still resting on Jay's back. He shuddered slightly but finally let out an exhale and pressed a kiss atop Erin's head._

 _"What if we all head back to our bed, hm?" he suggested, leaning down to kiss Kate's head as well, "We'll all be a little warmer there too."_

"Babe?" Erin mumbled, stirring slightly. She moved her good hand atop her fiancé's, "Jay?"

"Hey, baby," Jay pulled himself back to reality and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, forever grateful that she was awake and alive, "How's the pain?"

Erin shrugged dejectedly. She didn't want to tell him that her whole body ached, or that it felt like someone was trying to saw into her shoulder with a butter knife. It was an improvement from the stabbing, burning pain from being shot, but she was not the least bit comfortable. "Can you come closer?" she asked softly, weakly gesturing for him to move toward the bed.

"I can't get any closer without sitting on the bed," Jay replied gently, scooting the chair impossibly closer to the bed. He stroked her arm soothingly, "I'll be right here."

"I want you to be right _here_ ," Erin pointed to the small space beside her on the hospital bed as she shifted to the side slightly, "Come lay with me, Halstead."

"Babe…" Jay trailed off, unable to deny his aching partner the comfort she was so desperately craving.

"Please?" Erin begged, eyes wet with unshed tears, "Your brother works here, you won't get in trouble. Plus, I got _shot_ today. They can't kick me out."

He chuckled, unable to argue with that logic, coupled with the fact that he too wanted to be as close as possible to his partner. He maneuvered himself onto the mattress, carefully avoiding any IV lines or monitoring equipment to avoid another pulse-ox drama. He wrapped an arm around his girl, draping a hand gently above her injured shoulder. "That's better," Erin exhaled, snuggling into his chest, "So much better."

* * *

 **There are about two chapters left in this story! I am SO excited for the next one. Thank you to all who have continued to read and support this for 75 whole chapters, it's been such a pleasure writing for you. Stay tuned for more :)**


	76. Chapter 76

**I can't seem to stop! This one appeared out of nowhere - so I guess there's gonna be a few more chapters :)**

* * *

When Hank awoke, the first thing he thought about was Erin. _Erin_. Erin had been shot. His Erin. He quickly widened his eyes and exhaled after a moment, realizing that even though Erin had been shot, she was in the hospital and had awoken after surgery. His granddaughter was fast asleep on his shoulder, the shirt he borrowed from his detective's brother rumpled where her fists had squeezed it tightly. The little girl was finally sleeping peacefully after intermittently being woken by various doctors and nurses coming to check on Erin.

Erin was also asleep, cuddled against Halstead's chest. Hank's jaw tightened – he could never be truly comfortable with his girl in a man's arms. But he relaxed, seeing the exhaustion written all over his detective's face as he slept beside her, content to finally have his partner so close. Hank understood the feeling well. When Camille was in the hospital and in and out of surgery, all he wanted to do was be near.

Despite his best efforts to dislike the man his daughter was seeing, Hank didn't disapprove of Halstead. In fact, in the years of working with him, learning about his past, Hank had grown quite fond of the younger detective. He didn't ever think _anyone_ would be good enough for his Erin, but Halstead was coming close.

 _"Where are you going?" Hank barked as Erin thundered down the staircase. She had been living back in her old bedroom for two days, working through the detox in his house as part of her conditions for returning to work. She'd been on her best behavior and was really trying to hide the detox symptoms from her boss and father figure, but Hank saw straight through it all. He winced internally every time his girl squeezed the bridge between her eyes, trying to suppress the pounding in her head. He couldn't ignore the painful vomit noises that echoed from the bathroom late at night or the tremors in her hands when she poured coffee. His girl was strong though, and she was determined._

 _"Jay's getting discharged today." Erin looked at her boss with hopeful eyes, "I thought I should be there. Maybe pick up some take out or something so I don't burn the house down." Hank's pointed gaze had softened, "He's…he's hurt because of me, Hank."_

 _Hank grunted, "I'll drive you," he said decidedly, fishing the keys out of his pocket. Erin furrowed her brow in frustration._

 _"It's just Jay," she complained, "I don't need a chaperone to pick up take out and drop it at my partner's house." Hank turned to Erin, arms folded across his chest. Without speaking, his gaze said everything. "Fine," she huffed, pulling open the front door and marching for the Escalade._

 _Erin's anxiety was palpable as Hank slowed to a stop outside Jay's building. Her hands were shaking ever so slightly as she gripped the tray of take out. "Can you just wait out here?" she pleaded, casting a desperate look to her sergeant, "I'll be quick."_

 _"You got five minutes," Hank informed her, glancing down at his watch, "Tell Halstead he's not coming back without a doctor's signature that isn't his brother's."_

 _Erin nodded and disembarked, nervously approaching the apartment she'd casually barged into hundreds of times before. "Er?" Jay asked, pulling open the front door gingerly, "What are you doing here?"_

 _"Brought you some take out." She extended the dish slightly, lips quirking upwards at her nickname rolling off his tongue, "Hank let me out of his sight for five minutes."_

 _"That bad, huh?" Jay chuckled and pulled open the door, "C'mon in."_

 _"I-I can't stay," she replied, setting the food on the counter, "He's waiting for me. Outside."_

 _"Tight leash," he mused, sizing up his partner in front of him. She looked considerably healthier than the last few times he had seen her. Her eyes were clear and her gaze was lucid, though he could see the dark circles beneath her eyes that she had attempted to disguise with makeup. Erin looked exhausted, thin and nervous, but she was still his partner. His Erin. "I'm glad you stopped by though. It means a lot."_

 _"I mean, it's the least I could do. My fault you're all banged up," she shifted on her feet slightly._

 _"Erin…" he trailed off, unsure of how to comfort his partner. Despite her rigid posture and his aching body, Jay stepped forward and pulled her into a hug, "It's alright."_

 _"It's not," she mumbled into his shirt, inhaling the familiar scent of the partner she cared so deeply for, "It's not okay. You're not okay." Her breath hitched as she fought to keep the tears at bay, "You could have_ died. _"_

 _"But I didn't," he reminded her, gently stroking her back, "I'm still here, and so are you. And we're both going to be okay."_

 _With that, tears gushed out of her eyes before she could tell herself to stop it. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she rushed out, pulling back to wipe her cheeks, "I didn't mean to come here and cry on you, I-I just wanted to bring the food and make sure you're okay."_

 _"You don't need to be sorry," Jay assured her, pulling her back against his chest, "Not with me, Er."_

 _A sharp knock on the door interrupted Erin's thoughts. "Shit, Hank," she hissed as Jay opened the front door._

 _"Hey Sarge," Jay greeted, attempting to be as casual as possible, as if the fact that his sergeant showing up on his doorstep wasn't completely out of the ordinary._

 _"You're looking better, Halstead," Hank replied, glancing suspiciously at the scene in front of him. Erin was wiping her eyes. Had his girl been crying? "You about ready to go, Erin?"_

 _She nodded and turned back to Jay, "I'll, um, text you, okay?"_

 _Jay nodded in reply. "Thanks for the take out." Erin hustled out of the apartment, intent on escaping the situation as soon as possible._

Despite the fact that Hank tried to ignore it, the marked shift in his almost-daughter's demeanor after interacting with Halstead was undeniable. After seeing her partner alive and on the mend, Erin turned a corner. When his detective returned to work, she came home every night with a smile on her lips. And after she moved back into her old place and he basically told Halstead he was allowed to date his daughter, it was like Erin was back to her old self. Her old self, but better. Nobody made her as happy as Jay did.

A soft moan brought Hank out of his reverie. "You alright, kid?" he asked quietly, Halstead and Kate still asleep in the hospital room.

"Shoulder hurts," she mumbled dejectedly, wincing as she shifted slightly, "Numbing stuff must've worn off."

"We can get you something for the pain," Hank reminded her as gently as possible. Her eyes went wide as the words left his lips. She hadn't expected that from her father-figure, who had spent countless hours in her youth helping her detox from the narcotics her mother or boyfriend provided. Erin knew just how much it hurt Hank to see her go down that road again with Nadia. "You were shot, Erin. You're allowed to be in pain, and you're allowed to have some relief."

Erin shook her head, "I-I don't want to have Kate watch me detox. Or go put you through that again. I'll be alright."

Hank was about to reply when Halstead opened his eyes. "You okay, Er?" Jay mumbled, stirring awake at Erin's movements, "How's the pain?"

"Not good," Hank supplied for her, issuing a pointed stare, "She doesn't want the meds."

Erin scowled at Hank, "I'm going to be fine. I'm just a little sore."

"Kid, the pain is written all over your face," Hank replied as carefully as he could, "Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"Yes," she insisted. Her eyes fell upon her little girl, still asleep on Hank's shoulder. "After Nadia, I…" she trailed off, "I just can't do that to either of you again. I'll manage with some ibuprofen or something."

"Babe," Jay started as Hank stifled the eye roll at his detective's nickname for his daughter, "I get it. I really do. I know you don't want to go down that road again, and I respect the hell out of you for it. But maybe there's something else they can try that will take the edge off, just a bit. Everything can be closely monitored. You've got me, and Hank, and Kate, and we're not going to _let_ anything happen to you, okay?"

Hank widened his eyes in surprise when Erin managed a small nod. Halstead did have a way with words, especially when it came to his girl. "Okay," she whispered, "I trust you."

"I'll grab a nurse." Hank stood with Kate in his arms, who stirred slightly.

"Where's Mommy?" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly as Hank stopped before the door. "Where's Daddy?"

"Here, Squirt," Jay offered a tired smile, one arm still wrapped around Erin, "I got her, Sarge."

Hank carefully passed the little girl off to her father, who melted against his chest in relief. "Hi Mommy," she whispered, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, baby," Erin replied, leaning her head closer to her daughter, "I love you so much, you know that?"

"Uh huh," Kate smiled, "I'm so glad I got a mommy and a daddy still."

Jay smiled sadly and pressed a kiss atop Kate's head. "Are you hungry, kiddo? It's about breakfast time. Maybe when Grandpa Hank gets back, you guys could go grab something to eat?"

"I wanna stay with you and Mommy," Kate replied quickly. Jay felt her heart rate pick up almost immediately, "I-I-I don't wanna leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," Erin reassured her, gingerly reaching her hand to stroke her daughter's cheek, "Promise. I'll be right here. And soon, we'll all be going home."

Kate was quiet for a moment. "You hurtin', Mommy?"

She drew in a breath. On one hand, Erin really didn't want to admit to her little girl how much pain she was in, but on the other, Kate's maturity and own experiences would make it difficult to skirt around the truth. "I am, baby," she said finally, "But I'm getting better. And Grandpa Hank and Daddy are going to help make sure that I get the right medicine to make me feel better, just like when you were sick."

"I can help too," Kate informed her. Erin smiled at her daughter's quick response. She was certainly something else. "'cause you helped me get better when my tummy hurted. So I can help you."

"You are the best," Jay kissed Kate's head again, "We make a pretty good team, huh?"

"Doctor's gonna be in shortly," Hank announced as he re-entered the hospital room. He smiled gently at the little family in Erin's hospital bed. "How about some breakfast, Kate?"

"We get some for Mommy and Daddy too?" Kate asked hopefully, "To help Mommy feel better?"

"Great idea," Hank replied, boosting her off the bed and onto the linoleum floor, "Shall we take a little adventure?" He held out a calloused palm, which Kate accepted.

"We be right back, right?" she asked, glancing to her parents.

"That's right," Hank confirmed, "We'll be right back."

* * *

"How are you feeling, Erin?" Dr Choi stood at the end of Erin's bed, flipping through her chart. Jay was back to his seat on the chair beside her bed and Erin desperately missed the comfort of her partner beside her. "On a scale of one to ten, how's the pain?"

"Eight," she mumbled miserably, "I-I think it's getting worse." Jay rubbed her hand, proud that his girl was able to be honest with herself and the doctor. "I-I really don't want to take any narcotics."

"I understand that," Choi responded, "I'm going to take a look at the shoulder and then we can go from there, sound good?"

Erin nodded, gripping Jay's hand tightly as Choi pulled back the bandages around her injured shoulder. She was so glad Kate and Hank had gone for breakfast, unable to suppress the squeaks of pain that left her lips as the doctor examined her wound. "Everything okay?" Jay asked nervously as Choi replaced the bandages. Erin's eyes were screwed tightly, each adjustment feeling like she was being prodded with a sharp stick.

"I'm going to prescribe some additional antibiotics," he replied, taking another look at Erin's chart, "Her temp is slightly elevated and with the pain, it looks like there's an infection."

Erin let out an uncharacteristic whimper while Jay sucked in a breath, "Okay, what does that mean?" he asked slowly, trying to remain as calm as possible, "She's still going to be fine, right?"

"We've got it early," Choi assured the couple, "It's likely why you're in an increasing amount of pain. I'm going to also prescribe some non-narcotic painkillers that should alleviate some of your discomfort. They'll make you tired, but they should do the trick."

"Low dose," Erin insisted, cracking her eyes open, her hand still holding Jay's tightly, "Okay?"

Choi nodded, "We're going to keep you here for at least another twelve hours and likely another night to make sure the infection doesn't spread."

Jay had expected that Erin would fight back but instead she nodded in agreement. He grimaced – she must really not be feeling well if she didn't argue the prospect of staying another night. "Thanks man," he said, "Really appreciate it."

* * *

After another night in the hospital, Erin was allowed back home. The infection was cleared quickly and she was finally able to subdue the pain with ibuprofen. While the sling was undesirable to say the least, Erin was incredibly grateful to be home with her family. She had convinced Hank and her doctors to allow her to return to work, albeit sequestered on desk duty while her shoulder healed. The detective role in Intelligence without knocking down doors and being on the streets was slow and painstaking, especially since she could see her partner leaving to do the job without her. With the hot summer quickly approaching, Erin was _cranky_.

Thank god for her sweet little girl though. Kate was a welcome distraction from the ache in her shoulder as the wound healed and the muscles regrew. Now that she had more flexibility in her work schedule, she was able to pick Kate up from preschool and take her home at a reasonable hour.

Intelligence was in the middle of another massive case involving a series of armed robberies across the city. Erin sat at her desk, conducting as much research as she could from behind the screen while Jay and the wider team set out to raid what they determined to be one of the gang member's houses.

"Chicago PD!" Atwater bellowed, blowing the door off its hinges. The rest of the team filled into the house, guns drawn.

Jay cleared the kitchen, noting the drug paraphernalia all over the counter tops. Suddenly, a small cough caused him to freeze. "Chicago PD," he called out, carefully pulling open the kitchen closet door.

Immediately, he froze. There, huddled against the back wall, was a young boy. He sucked in a breath and lowered his weapon, the child shaking slightly.

"Hi buddy," Jay said kindly, crouching beside the little boy, "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you." He offered a smile, "I'm here to help you. Can you tell me your name?"

He looked warily at the man in front of him, tiny brown hands clutching a worn, floppy stuffed dog. "Hen-wy," he managed, tears filling his dark eyes and spilling down his cheeks.

"It's alright," Jay soothed, "You're safe now, Henry, okay? You're safe. Can you tell me how old you are?" Judging by the stature of the child in front of him, Jay assumed he was a bit older than Kate, but he couldn't be too sure.

Henry held up four fingers. Jay sucked in a breath, overcome with a sense of déjà vu. Kate had held up the same four timid fingers when Erin had asked her after they found her in the stash house. "Wow," Jay mused, "You are really grown up, huh?"

The little boy sniffed and nodded, "I have a little girl named Kate, and she's four years old too. But actually, she's almost five." Jay thought for a half second and continued, "She's actually down at the police station where I work and has a lot of fun toys and games. Would you like to come play?" He held his hand out for him to hold.

Henry was quiet for a moment, contemplating the idea of taking Jay's outstretched palm. He tentatively slipped his hand into Jay's, "Okay."

* * *

"You about ready to head home, baby?" Erin asked. Kate was sitting at Jay's desk, working on a book full of math equations. Alexa Carlson had advised that Jay and Erin encourage their little girl to keep learning, even if it was far above what her peers were capable of.

"What about Daddy?" Kate replied, glancing toward the stairs, "He not back yet."

"Daddy might be a little while," Erin said, swiping across her phone to read a text message from Jay. She furrowed her brow as she read his message, informing her that the team had found a little boy in the abandoned house. He had taken the child to Med for a checkup and was bringing him back to the district to remain in protective custody. "Actually," she said, "Daddy's coming back pretty soon. And he's bringing a little boy who's just about your age."

Kate thought for a moment and then a smile appeared on her lips, "I can share my toys," she said excitedly, "Do you think he's gonna wanna play?"

Erin grinned. Her little girl was _perfect._ "That would be very nice of you, babes." She turned toward the stairs as she heard the familiar sound of the buzzer, "That might be Daddy now."

"This is where I work," Jay explained to Henry. The little boy's eyes were like saucers as he took in his surroundings. "I'm going to introduce you to my partner, Erin, and Kate, our daughter." He gave a reassuring smile.

"Hey Er," he called out as they came up the steps, "I've got someone I want you to meet."

Erin rose from her desk and smiled kindly at the boy beside her partner. He was standing closely to Jay's leg, similar to Kate whenever she was nervous. "Hi, I'm Erin," she introduced, sinking down to Henry's level, "What's your name?"

"Hen-wy," Henry said, still clutching Jay's hand with one palm, the stuffed dog with the other.

"Nice to meet you, Henry," Erin said warmly, glancing up at Jay, eyes soft. She turned, expecting to see Kate still at Jay's desk, but she had disappeared. "We have a little girl named Kate who should be around here somewhere. Kate, baby?"

"Here, Mommy," Kate replied, emerging from the breakroom. She was holding Giraffe in her little hands as she slowly approached her parents and the stranger.

"Kate, this is Henry," Jay informed her, "He's four years old, just like you."

The two children made eye contact. "Hi Henry," Kate said finally. She recognized the fear in the little boy's eyes, the same fear she had carried nearly a year ago, "Do you want to come play with me?" Kate held out her Giraffe toward Henry, "I have some am-inals too."

Henry looked up to Jay who nodded. "Dis is Doggy," he said, gesturing to the worn stuffed dog, "What's his name?"

"Giraffe," Kate replied, reaching out to take Henry's hand, "I can show you coloring books!" She looked up at Jay, "That's okay, right Daddy?"

"Absolutely, Squirt." Jay leaned down and kissed the top of her head, "You two have fun, Mommy and I are going to finish up some work, sound good? We'll be right out here," he reassured Henry, who immediately looked nervous.

She nodded and led her new friend to the breakroom. "She's perfect," Jay exhaled, watching the two children interact, "She knew just what to do."

"I'm sure she sees herself in that little boy as well," Erin murmured, relaxing when Jay pressed a kiss to the side of her head, "He was alone in the house?"

Jay nodded, "Likely had been left behind by his older brother. He told me and Nat that he didn't have a Mommy or Daddy." He swallowed, "I put in a call to DCFS, they're pulling his records. Nat is checking to see if there's a familial match in the database, but the odds aren't looking good."

"Poor kid," Erin mused, "His brother is in the wind?"

"Mm-hm. We turned the case over to the gang unit, but when they catch him, his brother is facing at least twenty years, if not life." Jay leaned against his desk, glancing into the breakroom where Kate had presented Henry with a multitude of coloring book options. He smiled wistfully. "She's so good with him."

"Detectives?" Danielle Marcus, the DCFS caseworker who had been involved in the mishap with Kate, stood at the top of the steps to the bullpen.

Immediately, both Jay and Erin went rigid. "What's going on?" Jay asked quickly, "Kate's fine."

"I'm here regarding Henry Williams," she said, stepping closer to the detectives, "My office got a call to say that your unit found him abandoned?"

Jay cleared his throat, "Um, yeah, that's right. Looks like the brother left him behind."

Marcus grimaced sadly, "I've arranged for him to stay with the Humphrey family until we can find a more permanent solution."

Erin nodded slowly, "They're a good family," she whispered to Jay, who nodded as well. Colleen Humphrey had taken care of Kate when DCFS had taken their daughter away. Despite the terrible situation, Colleen Humphrey was a good woman. "Henry really trusts Jay," Erin said to Danielle Marcus, "And after everything that Kate went through, can we talk to them first? Before they see you?"

"I understand," the caseworker replied, "Take all the time you need."

Jay followed Erin into the breakroom where Kate and Henry were coloring. "Henry's really good at coloring," Kate informed her parents. The little boy had scribbled all across the page, clearly not paying any respect to the lines. At the older child's praise, a smile spread across his lips.

"Wow," Jay grinned, crouching beside the children, "That looks great." He turned to Erin, who nodded. "Kate, do you remember the nice lady who took care of you a few months ago? Colleen Humphrey?"

Kate dropped her crayon in surprise, fear written all over her face. Jay grimaced, immediately realizing his mistake in leading with that. "I don't gotta leave you, right?"

"Of course not," Erin interjected, "But Colleen Humphrey was really nice and when kids need to be kept safe, she's there to help."

"Henry, our friend Danielle Marcus is here," Jay said, turning to the little boy who had not picked up on his new friend's anxiety, "She works for the Department of Children and Family services. Sometimes, when kids don't have a mommy or daddy, she steps in and helps make sure that they're safe. And she has a friend, who we know, named Colleen, and she has a few kids of her own. You'll be safe with them while we find your brother."

Kate was quiet as Jay spoke to the little boy. "She is very nice," she said finally, "She taked good care of me."

Erin smiled and kissed the top of Kate's head, so proud of her little girl. "What do you think, Henry? Are you okay to meet our friend Danielle?"

He nodded slowly, tears filling his dark eyes, "Am I gonna see Kate again?"

Jay felt his heart melt within his chest, "Yes," he said firmly, "We'll stop by for a play date, how does that sound?"

Danielle Marcus left the district with Henry. The poor child was frightened out of his mind, but Jay promised he would be by tomorrow to visit. "Good job, babe," Erin whispered, rubbing his back with her good arm.

He managed a smile and kissed her forehead, "Let's go home."

She nodded, "Kate, baby, ready to go?"

Kate emerged from the breakroom, significantly saddened after saying good bye to her friend. "How come with can't take Henry home with us?"


	77. Chapter 77

**I cannot believe it has been two whole years! Thank you for reading, commenting and going on this journey with me - one more chapter left after this one.**

* * *

"Are you thinking about him?" Erin whispered, turning her head slightly. Jay was wrapped around her from the behind, carefully minding her injured shoulder, but neither of them had drifted off to sleep yet.

"Yeah," he replied, pressing a soft kiss to her neck, "I am."

It had taken a while to convince their little girl that Henry was safe. Erin and Jay had explained to Kate that when kids like Henry are without parents or family, they need to spend a few nights with good people like the Humphrey family. Kate had listened patiently and had expressed concerned for the little boy she had just met, worried that he would be scared like she had been at the temporary foster home. There were no tears, but Jay could sense his daughter's growing anxiety as she sat in his lap during story time. She was also reluctant to sleep in her own bed, but thankfully agreed and had fallen asleep quickly.

"I'm thinking about him too," Erin murmured, stroking his forearm gently, "He um, reminded me, of me."

Jay raised his tired eyebrows, slightly surprised that Erin would offer up an anecdote like that. As close as they were, she kept most of her harsh childhood memories repressed within. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked after a moment, his face buried in her mussed hair.

She shrugged slightly, pulling his arms closer around her frame, grateful that she wasn't looking her partner in the eye, "Bunny forgot me at school, like, all the time," Erin admitted finally, "I must have been Kate's age, maybe even a bit older, but I remember that I would wait on the bench outside with the teacher's assistant for hours while they tried to get ahold of her in the office."

Jay was quiet, allowing his girl to take her time. "One of my earliest memories is waiting inside with the teacher because it was so cold and windy and I didn't have a real winter coat. I waited," she swallowed, "And waited. And part of me just hoped she would never come get me. The school, I'm pretty sure they suspected something was up but Bunny, she knew how to play the system. There was always an excuse to why she was late, and sometimes, she'd send one of her boyfriends to get me. She'd pretend that she was caught at work as an excuse for why she reeked of booze but it was always that she'd just woken up after an all-night bender."

Instinctively, Jay held tighter. "I couldn't wait for the day that I'd be allowed to walk home alone. Seeing Henry today just reminded me of all that. And as much as I hated Bunny sometimes, I knew that going into the system was worse."

"I'm sorry you went through that," Jay whispered after Erin fell silent. "I wanted to take him home with us. Keep him safe."

"Maybe we could talk to DCFS tomorrow," Erin suggested, rolling over in Jay's arms so she could meet his gaze. His heart clenched at her watery eyes, the story she told clearly having weighed on her heart, "We _are_ still licensed foster parents after bringing Kate home last year. And-and I know we don't have a room for him but we could figure something out. Kate literally suggested he sleep in her bed tonight." She managed a small smile despite her heavy emotions.

"I was thinking the same thing," Jay tilted his head down to kiss Erin's nose, "I can't believe it's been nearly a year since we brought Kate home."

"She's come so far," Erin mused, snuggling in closer to Jay's chest, "Watching her with Henry today was incredible."

"I think we can do it. Another kid," Jay thought out loud, "We haven't heard anything about other relatives besides his brother, but we could give him a safe place to stay for as long as he needs."

"I think so too, babe," she replied, "You think maybe we could check with Kate tomorrow too? I know she was so ready to share but I just think at some level she could feel like we wouldn't love her as much, if we added another kid to the mix."

"Of course," Jay said immediately, "Let's see what our girl thinks and then we can make the call."

"I love you," Erin mumbled, the gentle beat of her partner's heart luring her to slumber. He smiled and breathed deeply, relaxing beside his fiancé.

* * *

 _"Ugh," Erin groaned, dropping a lock of her hair in frustration as she stood before the bathroom mirror. Attempting to get ready for work with one arm in a sling was proving to be an incredibly difficult challenge._

 _"Babe? You okay?" Jay poked his head into the bathroom as he zipped his jeans. He wasn't thrilled with the fact that Erin had finagled her way into being back at work so soon, despite having been shot days prior, but at least he'd be able to keep an eye on her._

 _"I'm trying to keep my hair out of my face, but turns out I need two good arms to do that." She scowled at her fiancé, who was doing a remarkable job of keeping a straight face. Erin had insisted not ten minutes before that she in no way needed any assistance to get ready for work. She'd managed to get the button-down shirt on and re-fasten the sling, but jeans, socks, boots and hair were a two-hand job._

 _"Can I help?" Jay asked lightly, incredibly aware of how stubborn and independent his girl could be, "I can do Kate's hair, so I should probably be able to do yours."_

 _Erin grunted and thrust the hair band at her partner. "I-I just need the top pulled back." She demonstrated with one hand, "Can you tie it?"_

 _"Mm-hm," he replied, carefully accepting the lock of hair and band. He methodically ran his fingers through her scalp, doing his best to be gentle and soothing. Erin visibly relaxed as her fiancé pulled her hair into the style she'd been attempting. Jay pressed a kiss top her head when he had finished. "How's that look, babe?"_

 _"Thank you," she breathed. After a moment, she turned to face him, eyes full of vulnerability and a hint of shame. "C-can you help me get ready? Please?"_

 _"Of course," Jay offered a smile, "What can I do?"_

 _"Pants," she said immediately, "I can't get them on with one hand."_

 _Jay nodded and crouched down to help steady his girl while she carefully put one leg into the jeans. "I'm used to getting you out of these," he chuckled, wincing as she dug her nails into his shoulder._

 _"Later," Erin said dryly, closing her eyes as Jay fastened the button on her jeans, "I-I-I'm not up to it."_

 _Instantly, Jay felt guilty. His partner had narrowly escaped death after being shot on the job a mere few days ago, and she thought all he could think of was jumping her bones. "Oh, no babe, I'm sorry." He stood quickly, eyes swimming with guilt, "I didn't mean…Of course we don't have to, while you're-"_

 _"It's okay, Jay," she murmured, touching his chest with her good hand, "I know. Don't feel bad, please?"_

 _"I'm so glad you're okay," he replied finally, exhaling in relief as she leaned against him. Jay kissed the crown of her head again, so grateful that he could still hold his girl closely, "I love you, so much."_

 _"I love you," Erin mumbled against his chest, "You think you could do my hair tomorrow, too?"_

 _"Absolutely," Jay smiled, "Ready for work?"_

* * *

And after that, it became a part of their routine. Every morning before work, Jay carefully helped Erin get ready, always mindful of her injured shoulder and aching body.

"Daddy?" Kate asked softly, looking expectantly at her father while he tied back Erin's hair.

"What's up, Squirt?" He kissed the top of Erin's head, like he did every morning after finishing her hair, "You want me to do your hair like Mommy's?"

She nodded shyly. "Alrighty, let's put you up here," Jay boosted his daughter onto the bathroom counter, "Just like Mommy's?"

"Yes please," Kate glanced at her mother, "You feelin' better, Mommy?"

"I am, thank you, baby." Erin gave a tired smile. The night before, after saying good bye to the little boy that eerily reminded her of her past, Erin hadn't been feeling well. Her shoulder and her whole body ached, and Kate had been quick to recognize her discomfort. While the little girl hadn't wanted to spend the night in her own bed, she seemed to understand that her mother just needed to rest herself. Erin and Jay were consistently impressed by their daughter's perceptiveness.

"Do you think I'm gonna get to play with Henry again?"

Jay and Erin exchanged looks at the child's question. "We'd like that, baby," Erin cleared her throat, "And um, last night, Daddy and I were talking about Henry, and we are so proud of you for being so welcoming toward him."

Kate observed her parent's shared gazes, "I 'member bein' like him," she said simply, reaching a small hand to touch Jay's arm, "He was scared. And I wanted him to feel better."

"We know. And you definitely made him feel better," Jay started, "Since you remember what it's like to come to a new place."

Kate nodded, "You and Mommy made me feel better when I was scared."

Erin smiled, "That's right. And Daddy and I were thinking that it would be nice for us to make Henry feel better as well. And maybe we could see if he'd like to spend some time with our family, here."

"We could bring him home with us?" Kate looked hopefully from Erin to Jay, "And make him feel safe?"

"We'd like to," Jay continued, "We would have to talk to a few different people, and see if it would be alright with Henry, but we wanted to check with you. We love you so much kiddo, and bringing another child here wouldn't make us love you any less."

"I know that, Daddy," Kate said seriously, "You said I'm gonna be yours forever, right?"

"That's absolutely right. You are ours forever," Erin confirmed, "Would it be okay with you, if we invited Henry to stay for a while?"

"I would love that!" Kate grinned, "I could share all my toys!"

Jay and Erin exchanged grins, "That would be amazing, kiddo." Jay scooped her up in his arms, "We love you to the moon and back."

* * *

After several phone calls, DCFS determined that Henry could stay with Jay, Erin and Kate while the state continued the search for any known relatives. They had discovered that both his parents were deceased, his father by drug overdose and his mother in a gang-related shooting. DCFS was due to drop Henry off in a half hour. In the meantime, Jay was making a few calls to get a bed delivered for their new guest.

"Can Henry share my room?" Kate asked excitedly after her parents broke the news. The little girl was practically bouncing up and down with excitement, "We could have a _sleepover_!"

"I think that's a great idea," Erin said, unable to keep the smile off her face, "But remember, baby, Henry might be a little nervous when he gets here, since it's a brand new place."

"I know, Mommy," she replied with understanding, "I 'member."

"Got a bed," Jay announced, "Riko will be here any minute now." He offered a smile to his girls, "How's it going in here?"

"I'm glad you gonna keep Henry safe too," Kate informed her father, raising her arms so that he could pick her up, "He's gonna be lucky, just like me."

Jay kissed his daughter's cheek, "I'm glad you're excited, kiddo. My friend Riko is coming over shortly to bring a bed for Henry, and he's going to help me move some things around in your room so we can make room for the bed. Is that okay with you?"

She nodded, "He's good?"

"Very good," Jay insisted, "But if it would make you feel better, do you and Mommy want to go read a story in our bed for a bit?" He glanced over to Erin, who nodded to confirm it was a good idea.

"Yes please." Kate accepted Erin's free hand and made her way to the bedroom so that Jay and his guy could rearrange the bedroom.

"What do you think about heading for a shopping trip when Henry gets here?" Jay poked his head into the bedroom where Erin and Kate were reading on the bed, "Might be nice to pick out some new toys and games for you guys?"

"I have so many toys already Daddy," Kate told him, "But we pick some out for Henry?"

"What a great idea," Erin praised, rhythmically running her fingers through Kate's hair, "He should be here soon."

As if on cue, a knock came at the door. The little boy stood beside the DCFS caseworker, clutching the same worn stuffed dog in his tiny brown fingers. "Hi Ms. Marcus. Hi Henry, come on in," he gestured to the apartment, which was sparkling clean. He and Erin had gone a little overboard on the cleaning and even had Kate's help. They wanted to make a good first impression.

"My name is Jay, do you remember me from yesterday?" Jay sank down to meet the child's gaze.

"Is Kate here too?" Henry asked finally, glancing over Jay's shoulder to the rest of the apartment.

"She is," he smiled, "This is where Kate, Erin and I live. And we'd love it if you came to stay with us."

"Hi Henry," Erin waved, holding Kate's hand in her own, "We're so excited to have you."

Henry nodded slowly, tiny teeth appearing when he saw Kate. "Hi Kate!" he exclaimed, the nervousness in his eyes fading.

"Do you wanna come play, Henry?" Kate asked, releasing Erin's hand and reaching for Henry's, "I can show you all the toys. They're gonna be yours now too!"

"Go on and play, alright? We're just going to have a grown-up talk out here," Danielle Marcus smiled kindly at the children, who hurried to Kate's room to play. "She's great," she remarked, referring to Kate, "You must be very proud."

"We are," Jay confirmed, wrapping an arm around Erin, "So, what's next?"

* * *

Kate had made incredible strides in the year that she'd been living with Jay and Erin. Unfortunately, the trauma that poisoned the first few years of her life was always lurking beneath the surface, and seemed to rear its ugly head when they were least expecting it. In this case, it was in the elevator between floors at Target, where the family was picking out some new clothes for Henry, as well as some new toys, books and bedding. Kate's room had thankfully been large enough to accommodate a twin sized bed for Henry, and both children had been excited about the prospect of sharing.

Danielle Marcus had confirmed that the apartment, with the addition of the new bed for Henry, was up to code. She and DCFS did not know how long Henry's placement would be for, but Jay and Erin reiterated their commitment to making the little boy feel safe and loved.

Kate had been adjusting very well to the new addition, showing Henry around the apartment and introducing him to all the toys. Their trip to Target had been going swimmingly as well, until a large bearded man had joined them in the elevator, sending Kate into an almost immediate panic. She leapt into Jay's arms, catching him somewhat by surprise, though in looking at the man he was eerily reminded of his and Kate's first outing alone to the grocery store.

Henry glanced up at Kate in surprise as she clung desperately to Jay, trembling with fear. "How come Kate cryin'?" he asked Erin, who was still holding his hand but exchanging worried glances with her partner, "How come?"

"Sometimes we see things that remind us of difficult times," Erin said slowly, sinking down to meet Henry's curious gaze as her daughter shook violently in her fiancé's arms, overwhelmed with terrifying memories.

"I want to get out," Kate whispered urgently, small voice thick with emotion, "Please Daddy."

"We're almost out," he replied, rubbing her back gently, "You're okay, kiddo."

"No, we're not okay," she choked out, "Please, please."

"What's going on?" the gentleman turned to Jay and Erin, his gaze full of concern, "She alright?"

Kate let out a squeak and continued to tremble against Jay. "We're okay," Jay said quickly, "Working through a few things, but we're going to be fine."

The man exited the elevator when it stopped. Almost immediately, the little girl's heartrate decreased. "You're okay, baby," Erin soothed, her chest still tight from hearing the harsh pants of her daughter as she fought the terrifying memories, "You're okay."

"S-s-sorry," Kate wept, "I-I didn't mean to cry."

"You are allowed to cry, kiddo," Jay gently stroked her back, "I know sometimes those bad memories come back, sometimes when you least expect it."

"'ts okay, Kate," Henry looked up at his friend. Erin placed a hand on the little boy's shoulder, "I get scared too."

* * *

"What is it, babe?" Jay asked, glancing over the two sleeping children between him and his partner, "You alright?"

After an eventful day at Target, Kate had finally calmed down. The kids were visibly exhausted, as was Erin, her shoulder beginning to ache again. Jay determined that an episode of Planet Earth was in order, so he settled Henry and Kate on the couch, though they had fallen asleep almost immediately.

Erin nodded slightly and sniffed. She gave a watery smile, "I was just thinking that, that we could have _missed_ this." She gestured to Kate and Henry, "These amazing little people have been through some of the worst life has to offer, but they survived and they're _here._ Sitting between you and me, safe and sound."

Jay smiled and kissed the top of her head, "And you're here too, babe. I can't believe how lucky I am."

* * *

 **Last one up next!  
**


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